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Wanting sooo bad to move forward and feeling so completely stuck~In need of some ESH~
(Preview)
For the most part I am doing well, much better than I have been in a long time, and for that I am grateful, but there is still one very big area that I am struggling with, and I feel that it is preventing me from moving on in my program/life, and that is.... Anger and forgiveness. I am still very angry with EXA...
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shellyj123
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8
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794
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I think I have a bad attitude
(Preview)
Actually, I don't know that I simply THINK I have a bad attitude- I KNOW this. I consider myself a high strug person to begin with, so I'm not sure that the field/job I am in is the correct one for someone who is easily stressed. Most of the time I find my job exhausting. I must manage alot of different thing...
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RunnerChick
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6
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527
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this board ROCKS!!!
(Preview)
i posted a thread. ("tough question") ..i was triggered by my SHRINK...and the AWESOME points i got was totally incredible.....EVERY ONE of you had something soooo valuable for me to contemplate.... I just want to thank ALL of you for helping me.....i SOOO want to heal....I SOOO want to...
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rosielightshines
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8
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552
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3rd step is working
(Preview)
Turning it over to your HP ! Its been working for me all week. I just had the break through where I could not handle the craziness with my son and AH. I turn it over every day I wake up. and it feels like a load off my back. I love it. Like the 3 C i remind myself of them daily when the feeling starts to build with my c...
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peacewithin
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4
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453
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I have a REAL tough question
(Preview)
Hi guys as you know i am in therapy and this therapist TOLD me i had to "honor thy father and thy mother".. my father never ever made amends for sexually abusing me my entire teen years...he died, thinking he was "ok" with everything.....he was a sociopath.....never felt sorrow...
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rosielightshines
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30
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725
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Am I awful for being on the edge of giving up?
(Preview)
I feel so beaten down, defeated. No matter what I do or say I'm wrong. I'm trying to not put myself in positions to argue with my A-bf, who is a dry drunk. I'm never sure who I'm going to talk to. One day he tells me to deal with my problems b/c they are mine and then when he calls and I tell him I need some sp...
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lizzakiss
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8
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1560
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Why I Am Grateful to AlAnon
(Preview)
Good Morning to mu MIP Family, Today is the 2nd Anniversary of my son's passing. He relapsed after 12 years of soberity and could/would not recover. The last two years of his life I lived with him in his home and did all I could to keep the focus on myself while letting the disease run its coarse. I alwa...
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hotrod
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10
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1953
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Rejoycing in Expectations
(Preview)
Hi there MIP family I have always tried to work in my expectations of life, but mostly family..lol... When I would visit my "Now Deseased" Afather I would say a little chant, kinda like my own little serenity prayer before I knew it existed...lol.. and it was "Ok when I get to Adad's I wi...
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Jozie
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7
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504
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When will he give up on this pointless contact
(Preview)
Messages are coming from a new angle now...and the problem is I dont get chance to build or re-group, before he does something to upset me again. Just any contact gets to me. My sis wasnt sure what to do with this, poor thing, they always drag everyone into it. I just heard Lilly has not been well. I know she...
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Lilly Burn
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13
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664
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Reminding me that I matter...and much more to the point...YOU ALL MATTER to me :-D x
(Preview)
Hello my dear family, it is a while since I checked in here. Some of you will not know me at all, some of you will remember me as the new 'gal' on the block and some of you might even have missed me. To one and all, I say, it's good to be back in the embrace of the family. I have had sooooooooo much stuff going on......
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Suzannah
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11
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590
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Survey Question for my MIP family...
(Preview)
I went to my first AlAnon meeting when I was married to abusive/Active/dry drunk EXAH-I never went back, why I'm not sure but I think because I wanted a quick fix for EXAH that I didn't get. My second meeting,about a year later, was after he and I split up-I never went back-I figured no A=No problem-I di...
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shellyj123
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12
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576
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Getting love....Being Loving.....WHICH????
(Preview)
### ROSIE NOTE_______I was so needy the "getting love" was my thing....after disappointment after disappointment, i decided, "why not love myself??? love my HP???? and let the rest take care of it self, by SHARING me with others????"....this is changing me from being so nee...
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rosielightshines
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3
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508
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I absolutely LOVE my sponsor, and my HP never ceases to amaze me!
(Preview)
Had a moment of weakness yesterday and of course I ran to my sponsor with my tail placed firmly between my legs:) My sponsor thinks a lot of times that she causes me pain and hurt at times by her responses, and sometimes they do sting. NOT because of WHAT she says or HOW she says it but because she is rig...
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shellyj123
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4
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480
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Thinking of You All.....
(Preview)
I come and visit here every chance I get, reading all our situations, which are all different but so painfully the same, I think about you all during the day and how brave, caring you are. The energy it takes to function in the environment that we find ourselves in, the love it takes to "walk the line...
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DreamsOver
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4
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715
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I have nothing more emotionally I can give to daughter
(Preview)
We went to Houston for grandaughter's first communion. Was a great celebration. I did not tell AD that we were going; eventhough it was on her birthday. I cannot be in two places at one time and we felt it was much more important to be for the first commuion celebration. And yes, it was precious!!!! I...
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clara
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8
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1089
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Husband using son for sleeping pills
(Preview)
Since my AH has been sober he has been relying on sleeping pills to go to sleep at night every night. Before I started the program and started learning about the isms of A he told me that he needed the pills to get to sleep at night. I allowed it to go on and continued to buy them for them knowing that I shouldn...
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ChrissyPooh
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10
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1031
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not in a good place
(Preview)
My A son relapsed Saturday a week ago and got a dui. I am pretty sure he is still using something but don't know what. I think he needs an inpatient treatment this time. I told him that this morning and he will deny until the cows come home. I know better. I can tell in his voice over the phone when he is doing so...
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Gailey
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8
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1046
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It's been a while..
(Preview)
Hello family! It's been quite some time since I have posted. Things in my life have improved so much, ...mostly because I learned to just take control of ME! I have been working my own program and not worrying about what anyone else is doing. Abf has been working his own program in his own way...I dont...
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liljeannie
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5
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786
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Dry Drunk Detachment.. Getting Better at It
(Preview)
Hi All, Been involved with my bf for three months now. He doesn't go to meetings or call his sponsor..so I can't even say he is "in" recovery. I will say that I feel that I am dealing with a dry drunk. I have determined to detach from his attitudes and behaviors and sometimes its hit and sometime...
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Saved By Grace
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5
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1523
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Solitude Over
(Preview)
Okay, for the first time since November, I had my 7 days of much liked solitude. (hubby went offshore) Well, he is coming home tomorrow. I am a little nervous. I am trying to not have any expectations or projections of this or that. It is our anniversary tomorrow. Amazing we've been married for 7 yea...
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Sincerely
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5
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526
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Problems with youngest son
(Preview)
Dear all, haven't posted in a while but have been reading posts which has helped at this present time. Youngest son has started smoking and acting out at school, I need to go in this wednesday to meet the teacher on same. He was absolutely a horror at home but I have been trying to use my alanon tools to get t...
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maire rua
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5
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741
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Today is a gift~not a given! it TRULY does work if we work it:)
(Preview)
Well the past week has been very enlightening for me in sooo many areas, that I felt I should come and share, as so many of you helped to get me where I am right now. Today I feel awesome and so content. I've given my program a lot of thought the past week, and decided that I have to make some chan...
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shellyj123
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8
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526
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A question about f2f meetings
(Preview)
Do you think it is a good idea to attend f2f meetings with friends you know from outside of al-anon (i was going to say from "real life" but that doesn't make sense...lol). I've found out that someone i know is looking to go to f2f meetings but i am not sure if I feel comfortable with the idea of &...
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tweety23
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4
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671
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setting new goals.
(Preview)
I am about to embark on one of my goals, namely getting some of the dental treatment I need. I start next week. I realize I don't really know how to manage several small goals at once. I get lost in the shoulda coulda woulda's. I'm trying to work on summer goals and what I come up with is ridiculous or I get do...
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maresie
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5
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838
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ODAT today. 5/5/09
(Preview)
Today's message in ODAT is beautiful if anyone has it. It really made me think of all that IS GOOD in my life. I went to a new F2F yesterday. Completely awkward going in...went in wrong room and introduced myself to a group that had NOTHING to do with al-anon!!! GULP. So, I collected myself and stoppe...
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Inpain
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8
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535
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Pretty sure she is drinking again
(Preview)
As in previous post from me, you guys know Daughter was in rehab. She went for 4 weeks. She can now go once a week for a year for "after care" When I spoke to her on phone Sunday night and again on Monday morning, she was fine. I could hear it in her voice. However, by Monday afternoon, I could h...
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clara
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6
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613
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Dont know what to do
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Al-anon. I have posted on here a few times and done some online meetings. I only went to one f2f meeting and I didnt feel comfortable at all. I am in my early 20's and everyone was older, I just feel like I couldnt relate to anyone. I have some daily reader books and I lurk on here...
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M's Mommy
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11
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668
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how do you know you are "ready" and for whom?
(Preview)
Hi Friends, As recovery takes hold, I often read on this board how one decides they are ready to start dating again and then do. This is my question... once you "decide", who do you date? I ask this because I can honestly say that with the exception of one person (keep reading) there is no one...
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Loupiness
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10
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523
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I just GOTTA say this
(Preview)
I have been in 12 steps 5 plus years now (jan '04) and i have been on and off this board....now i am back I started therapy first part of the year, february sometime and i just gotta say that the 12 steps/ sharing/ esh from recovery mates/ recovery books/ journalling/ being VALIDATED by my recovery mates i...
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rosielightshines
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9
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894
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Thank you MIP family......
(Preview)
I wanted to take the time today to stop here and thank the many of you who have helped me and supported me throughout my struggles the past few months. This site is a God send and I have watched it help soooo many people. I've seen the caring and kindness of complete strangers, taking their time to help on...
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shellyj123
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4
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690
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Need help with a friend's new LOG-IN
(Preview)
I am attempting to help a fellow al-anon member who is trying to log-in on MIP - the notice that she keeps getting says e-mail address already in use as well as user name. She registered yesterday and did not receive a confirmation e-mail back. Any ideas on how I should advise her? RLC -- Edited by RLC on...
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RLC
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2
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427
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mark my divorce
(Preview)
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cichlid6
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10
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935
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FEAR BUSTER
(Preview)
"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives develop" ~ Michael Pritchard Follow these steps everyday for thirty days - it'll take less than ten minutes day! Pray upon rising: Thank you for this day and for the rich opportunities this day will bring forward. I pray for your love and ligh...
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rosielightshines
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8
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1471
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Detaching; doesnt have to be a scary word or an unthinkable action. Loving Detachment is Possible
(Preview)
detaching... when i was new to this program i remember being terrified just thinkin about it... the word itself. and then the action of it...omg my my AH wasnt gonna like this! this will be the end of this program for me.... but truth is i was so determined.... that i was willing to d...
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aunitedway
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9
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1264
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Help for a Dry Drunk
(Preview)
Hello All! I have just recently started going to meetings at the end of March and am very thankful that my therapist recommended it. Since going, I have been able to be comfortable acknowledging that I need to focus on recovery of myself and not focus so much on my A and his recovery. I have been married fo...
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ChrissyPooh
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8
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1131
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he's just not that into you
(Preview)
I just saw the movie "he's just not that into you" and could relate to some stuff. Now I wonder can we still apply this to A's and sober A's or is that a whole other story? I wonder cuz what I'm getting is he's not into me at all. Makes me wanna run. Anyone else seen it and any comments?
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buick23
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8
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744
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should i leave my husband--- newbie needs esh
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum, I feel lost and confused and don't know where to turn. My husband is a alcoholic. We've been married for three years. He drinks almost every day. He has never been physically abusive but I am tired of dealing with all the emotional symptoms that go along with alc...
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laurel
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11
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1133
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amazing how much my mental health is physical health
(Preview)
It's amazing how much easier it is to banish obsessive thoughts and to go from fury to indifference or even charity once I've slept, exercised, and taken my vitamins. If that doesn't work, coffee with friends is usually the thing that tips me over in to health again. And it's amazing how convinced I am w...
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gngcrzy
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6
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876
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hello from a newcomer :)
(Preview)
Hi all This is my first post. I went to my first F2F meeting the other day and it was really good. My biggest fear came true: I saw someone I knew there and was really scared at first but it worked out great actually :) Unfortunately I cannot get to a lot of f2f meetings because of babysitting issues. I do have...
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tweety23
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8
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861
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the 5 freedoms
(Preview)
Saw this in one of my John Bradshaw books...... 1. The freedom to see and hear (perceive) what is here and now, rather than what was, will be or should be. 2. The freedom to think what one thinks, rather than what one should think. 3. The freedom to feel what one feels, rather than what one should feel. 4....
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rosielightshines
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3
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795
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Picking fights to force and outcome, or agenda...
(Preview)
I was reading on here in another post about the A picking a fight, to get what they want. I've noticed that at this point in my relationship with my A that I pick fights with him in order to get out of having to enjoy time with him. Most times lately I sabotage any hope of enjoying any time with him. I am evas...
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Rora
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9
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1105
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New - Need Answers
(Preview)
I am new to this board. I have been coping with an on/off alcoholic husband for several years. We have had counseling but our communication about this is poor. The biggest problem has been lying about drinking. Lack of trust makes the problem so much worse. I have gone to a few Al-Anon meetings ove...
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wifeofalcoholic
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9
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1092
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Thoughts
(Preview)
Even though I am not living with or involved with an A, sadly I have friends who do. I use my skills every day and want to learn more. One friends wife is very, very sick. It's been hard watching thru him, her fall apart, family be hurt. After going thru what we have, we can be there for others. This is a humble...
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debilyn
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4
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839
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At work...stuff happened. Am I gonna get all whipped up? HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
(Preview)
No, I am not going to get all whipped up into a slather.My serenity is THE most valuable thing in the world to me.My budgets got cut at work. I am angry. I can be for awhile. Its OK. Its not anyone's fault although I SURE WOULD LIKE IT TO BE so I could point my finger, hehe, and not have to sit here and feel th...
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Jean4444
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5
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635
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1st DUI - in Florida - what does system expect?
(Preview)
signed up for 1st time DUI classes in Florida not sure what will happen after that - anyone have someone go through the FL system to get their license back? what can you tell me about the hardship license? anyone need to do a 12 wk class after the DUI classes?
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florida
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4
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773
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Sometimes... Mom don't know it all :)
(Preview)
Well as most of you know last week I took a back seat to my drama of Afathers belongings, now this week I must get back on my game and get something done...alot has happened that is "Out of my Control", so there for now I must get back in control and get it going in order to get to the finish line... T...
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Jozie
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3
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866
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What am i doing to take care of me today???
(Preview)
Robin taught me these "what am i grateful for today and what did i do to take care of me today" so i will do the "taking care of me thread" OK..TODAY...i took care of me by: gave myself a great haircut..... NICE LONG shower slept in and lied in bed and relaxed fixed a GREAT breakfa...
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rosielightshines
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4
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817
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What am I grateful for today?
(Preview)
My husband volunteered at a pancake breakfast for the church. He came home with lots of leftover food and gallon of milk and two gallons of organge juice. Currently, my husband and I are both unemployed so I am thankful and grateful for the extra food.
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Robinks
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4
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658
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No one told me I had to be perfect____BUT!!!
(Preview)
The following is from "Hope for Today" > An Al-Anon daily meditation reader approved > by World Service Conference Al-Anon Family > Groups (c) 2002 Al-Anon Family Group > Headquarters, Inc > ----------------------- > > Hope for Today - May 31 > > ...
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rosielightshines
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3
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1166
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Times Up
(Preview)
Gotta get to bed early, vacation over, work tomorrow. I'm cool with that. These days off with my A at work and my home alone time has been nice. I am renewed and looking forward to my honey coming home. I just hope I feel as good as I did while he was at work this week. We'll see. Thanks all for being here f...
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Sincerely
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2
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605
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I Think I've Been Flim-Flammed
(Preview)
Yesterday my husband was a TOTAL A-HOLE. All day long he just kept being a jerk about one thing or another. Then later in the day he mentioned that his brother had invited him over to a friend's house to watch a fight (assuming boxing on pay-per-view). By that point I thought to myself "I don't ca...
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N8SMOM
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4
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3290
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What is HP to You... Putting Trust in Your HP....How do you see feel Your HP
(Preview)
my trust in my HP comes from alot of things... first off each and every mornin i sit up and give thanks for being here at all for a nother day and i read from my daily reminders., that in itself helps me to place my mindset in a positive place. and i say the serenity prayer after i read the entri...
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aunitedway
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4
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967
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Birthdays are abounding !!!!!! Shadow and Bratly aka Angela
(Preview)
Wow, this is the birthday week of birthdays!!! A very special birthday to Shadow (today) and Bratly/Angela (tomorrow) and Kari (yesterday). Happy Birthday Alanon Girls. Love yas, Maria
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Maria123
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14
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2087
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Detachment
(Preview)
Hi All Yesterday I awoke thinking of my exabf,even refering to him as my 'x' is huge progress for me. So I got up to go about my day.Within an hour 3 things had chipped away at my will not to contact him. An item on the news about a place we liked to visit,nice memories I thought and moved on, an email from a cl...
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Mariner
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7
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1371
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He's going back to AA and I'm just annoyed
(Preview)
Instead of being happy, all I can think is "here we go again!" and get irritated that he puts everyone through this roller coaster. I guess I still have some work to do on myself.
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gngcrzy
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10
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695
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Dating "normals".......Where do I begin?????
(Preview)
EXABF and I have been broken up for almost 6 mths now and I am beginning to date again. It is HARD! I know I am not ready for a serious relationship and have made it a point to let whomever I date know this upfront. I have been dating here and there, no intimacy involved, as I know I am not ready for that yet af...
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shellyj123
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12
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1040
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Recovering...
(Preview)
Two weeks later I am recovering from my loss pretty well. My husband (I think) has some peace now Me I am doing much petter but still think of how tragic our loss was to both of us. Now that the family is gone, I can see us getting on with our lives. Thanks to our HP we are still going strong! God is definitely...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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689
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Somedays all I can do is sit and wonder HOW....
(Preview)
Woke up this am and EXABF was the first thing on my mind! UGH! I have no idea why or how he keeps getting there but it just really annoyes me this am. I came to work and sat down and read the morning posts-which usually bounces me back into the now and I'm still just kinda not with it. Looking back, I never tho...
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shellyj123
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6
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1027
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Funny how things Happen ???
(Preview)
Ok, Bare with me here... HP always seems to come around when I am not looking... Yesterday, I was having an Off day if you read my post you will see that I was struggling with ALOT of past memories in my life, and just "Some" of the many hurdless in my mind that I have tried to come to terms with and f...
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Jozie
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4
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1025
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Journaling :) Who Knew?
(Preview)
Well today I desided to get started with Journaling, WOW was it a freeing moment in my life, and was it something I should have done a long time ago. I took the time to right out ALL the things that I could remember from my Rape. I owned it, stood tall, cried some, and handed it over to God... I know he will know...
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Jozie
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11
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770
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