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Thanks everyone!
(Preview)
Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. A lot of ESH! I needed that. I feel like I have been to hell and back with this man, but I still keep hangin on. He is my friend and I love him. And I dearly love his son and feel for him. He is so sweet! Yes I am learning how to let go and not let his stuff bother me. And for...
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sisdragonfly1957
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2
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485
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Update on son :o( My life is unmanageable
(Preview)
I been crying most of the night. my AH turned my sons cell phone back on, Of course he knows my SS number to get it activated again. I just feel so betrayed by my AH and just no respect. I'm tired of hurting all the time. When I get up in the afternoon coz oin my 7-7 shift. I pray Please help me today with the anger...
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peacewithin
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3
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451
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Clarification... on moving
(Preview)
I'm not relying on my ex at all regarding paying for my new house. The rent there is $50 a month more than what I'm paying now and includes phone, cable and dsl. I will pick up a water bill and pay power. The current place includes water and cable but I pay phone and dsl along with the power and this new plac...
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carolinagirl
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7
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826
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Taking those baby steps and livin in the now, and enjoying the progress.
(Preview)
For some reason or another the EXABF has been tormenting my thoughts off and on the past two days. I have no idea why as I have been doing really well just focusing on me and what I want, but thoughts of him have been interupting my serenity for some reason or another. Nothing major, just little reminde...
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shellyj123
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10
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824
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Suggestions please?
(Preview)
As you know, I had found empty bottles in the house. Since then, I've been feeling very resentful towards my husband. I feel like any meeting he goes to (if he really goes) and his Out-Patient program is just a sham. I feel like I've done so much since he's gotten out of detox and he it's all been for noth...
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N8SMOM
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7
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762
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When does Co-dependency start?
(Preview)
I ask because, I've been this way for as long as I can remember. My first boyfriend emotionally abused me for 4 years and I went from relationship to relationship and can only recall ONE that the guy didn't drink. Interestingly neither of my parents drank. My father is however a dry drunk, and the epi...
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Inpain
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6
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1277
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He's in Jail!
(Preview)
I knew that it would eventally happen, he has been running for almost 2 years. He is in some little town in georgia for a shop lifting Charge (six pack of beer)! Two weeks before it happened I turned him over to HP. I couldn't stand watching him destroy himself and his 9 year old son. I had to let them both go...
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sisdragonfly1957
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7
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609
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a lesson learned this weekend
(Preview)
This is regarding my prior post about my son's relapse. As I was sitting drinking my coffee on Sunday morning thinking about what it will take for my son to get into recovery, the word that came to mind was HONESTY.....complete honesty with himself and others. Well...HP had something else in mind for m...
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Gailey
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6
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903
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Al-Anon is Right and I was Wrong
(Preview)
After a few days of being suspicious of my husband's drinking, I did a search. I found an empty beer bottle hidden in the closet. I also found 3 bottle caps in his bathroom trash can (he keeps the trash can locked, under the cabinet so our son doesn't play in it). So now I feel more anxious, mad, and depres...
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N8SMOM
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9
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1110
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Learning NOT to share
(Preview)
My AH as I posted before, is in rehab. Last time he was in rehab, I was very involved in HIS recovery (this time I'm very involved in mine) and we he got out, we stayed together for a couple of weeks until he dumped me for some girl he met in rehab. I was devastated, still hurt from that a lot. This time I think is...
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Priscilla83
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7
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681
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Feeling kicked in the Stomach
(Preview)
Just when things seem to be going along so well, wham! Something comes along and pulls the rug out from under you. I was getting ready for work this morning and saw a bottle of prescription pills in the medicine cabinet. As we don't keep medicine there, I picked it up and realized it was an old prescriptio...
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Sis63
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4
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992
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HI Everyone... First Post :)
(Preview)
I have been involved with an alcoholic for almost two years now. When I first met him I didn't know that he was an alcoholic. He stated that he just didn't drink and I was fine with that since I am a social drinker. About a month into our relationship he admited to me thathehad a problem. I never say him drin...
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sarabell54
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7
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1060
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Facing reality
(Preview)
And so I take it that you grieve when you face the reality of the way it really is. With all that darkness though, there is a lot of light - or so I hopeMy head has been spinning on whether to stay or go. Right now I choose to stay. No physical threat. Just the threat of getting sucked into the lies. I panic b...
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Ash
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5
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1027
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Waiting for the Other shoe to drop?
(Preview)
Sometimes I feel like I am doing this. Some days I am not comfortable with the way that I cope with my ALO's sobriety. Often times I find it nearly impossible not to have my stomach twisting in knots over the fact that his meeting attendance has lapsed. Don't get me wrong - I am NOT as crazy as I once was and MY...
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RunnerChick
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8
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2002
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Veteran member
(Preview)
Hey! I just noticed I became a "veteran" member!!! Pretty neat :woot: I'll celebrate by saying today I had a good day. I didn't pick up after my D.Drunk. Even after he came out of oral surgery. I left the first aid kit right where he left it, left his cup and lemon, left his scissors, and pac...
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Inpain
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4
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619
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some humor snuck in from the other room
(Preview)
Okay...honestly I was in the other room looking for some gems and got this with the thought, "Humor and laughing is an indication of recovery". So read this and inventory your own progress. Sponsorship A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. So he descended a bit and shouted to a man...
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Jerry F
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15
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551
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i left my A-bf
(Preview)
well, it took threats to my life and the lives of my family members to leave my a-bf this is my second love relationship with an alcoholic then there are all those family members who are addicts i watched a movie recently called rachel getting married had no idea it was about a family dealing with add...
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lettherebepeace
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11
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857
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What I did for me yesterday
(Preview)
After a lousy ending to Sunday I decided yesterday I needed time to myself so I took it! I left my boyfriend home with the kids (he had the night off from work) and went shopping and bought myself a couple of things and the boys a new dresser. I came home to supper being cooked! It was nice to have some help...
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Holly09
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5
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432
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Good news!!
(Preview)
Saturday my Ahusband finally go to rehab. I'm just sooo happy!!! I know this is just the beginning of a new struggle and that there is along way to go, but I'm glad he took this step and that he did it all buy himself. I, of course, don't take full credit for him going to rehab, but I honestly think that My chan...
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Priscilla83
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6
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759
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Setting small goals for myself.
(Preview)
I have found one key to maintaining a positive attitude is to have several small projects going. If my life is unmanageable (which it often is) I can measure my progress by how far I am moving on the projects. The more control I have the better. Of course life itself means things don't necessarily go my...
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maresie
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7
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1543
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Happy Birthday Karilynn!!!
(Preview)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! (This a friend of Pipers)
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Christy
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15
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955
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Have to move
(Preview)
I live in a condo that is heavily populated by retirees who don't particularly care for children and their antics. So the long and the short of it is that I have to move out by the end of next month. My credit is horriffic but my rental history and employment are great. I looked around and everything tha...
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carolinagirl
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5
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657
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have not heard from daughter in nearly a week---worried and wondering
(Preview)
Have not heard from daughter in nearly a week. She knows I have been going through a terrible time due to my friend's death last week. But why do I expect anything from my AD. I should learn to "not expect anything", so therefore I will not be disappointed. We are going to Houston for grand...
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clara
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11
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984
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Working on letting go of family...
(Preview)
I find myself today in a mild struggle with myself. I am working really hard on letting go of things I can not control but sometimes I get so very frustrated. I realize that it is not people that disappoint me but my expectations of them that cause the disappointment. I have two brothers, both older th...
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shellyj123
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7
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454
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sponsorship
(Preview)
I am so pleased with my sponsor. Sometimes it takes a while to hear from her but when she gets back to me she always has something good to say. I don't see her very often but when I do, she is always there waiting with a hug. I am going to try to call her once a week. I haven't been very good at calling but I email...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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394
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Dreading Work Tomorrow
(Preview)
Normally I love tomorrows. Normally I love work. But tomorrow I have to go to work with my tail between my legs. You see, all last week I worked my butt off, threw a hissy fit over two employees calling in sick or leaving early and had a meltdown of my own on Friday that carried over into Saturday. Havin...
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Sincerely
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13
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590
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How Long Before Getting a Sponsor?
(Preview)
I have been going to meetings at least 3 times a week since March 28. I have someone in mind that I would like to ask to be my sponsor and I'm just wondering when is a good time to ask? Is it too soon? Should I be in the program longer? She goes to my Monday night meetings and always just has the most common sen...
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N8SMOM
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7
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574
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April Business Minutes
(Preview)
April Business meeting MinutesMeeting was held on April 19th 2009 Chair opened the meeting with moment of silence followed by the serenity Prayer Motion to accept March Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedCurrent Ch...
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ernie
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0
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1032
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Is this awarness,and am I getting better?
(Preview)
I love animals, never lived in a house without any untill I got married, anyhow a year last christmas I went into a pet shop and a cockatial seem to take to me, and it was a right noisy one, probably still there because it was a bird with attitude, well hubby was sober and said we could have her, wow really, so...
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Katy
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4
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789
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Making Choices-Theirs and Ours
(Preview)
Hello Alanoners, I have not been able to get on to support you all. Trouble in techno land. However, I do want to support everyone for where they are today. This disease of alcoholism and addiction manifests itself in so many different ways. I am ok. I struggle with my insides not matching my outsides....
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nmike
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5
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638
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Update on robbery.
(Preview)
((((Family))), Just wanted to give you and update on the robbery. I met with the detective on Wednesday to do my deposition. I mentioned to him that my niece was back in town and was more than willing to talk to him. He said that wasn't neccessary to talk to her nor the maintenance men. He was more than...
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Karilynn
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9
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430
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dont know what to do
(Preview)
i dont know what to do... my husband has a drinking problem and its really starting to affect our whole family. i thought it was getting better and now all of a sudden hes drinking and driving, lying about how much hes had or where hes drinking at. i found out he even drank at work... he will lose his job. hes...
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13
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8
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566
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It's official, I'm crazy.
(Preview)
I don't even know where to start. My A gets my mind so twisted like a pretzel that a few hours after the arguement I'm beliving things probably are my fault. I feel like I'm walking through a landmine field lately, one wrong comment and BOOM. My A--who is my BF who is a dry drunk at this point-- used to te...
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lizzakiss
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5
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1274
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I'm so irritated!
(Preview)
My a boyfriend drove home drunk in my car and is now laying on our bed with dirty disgusting feet and I've told him 2 times to go wash them and he is not moving and I'm getting so pissed off I just want to choke the out of him! I don't want to sleep on the couch tonight I want to sleep in my own bed and I won't with di...
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Holly09
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5
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704
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avoiding the inevitable...
(Preview)
Funny how a single event ( a sentence even) can just take the wind out of my sails and make me feel like I will (or want to) drown. I am not divorced yet. Nothing but procrastination can be blamed at this point. Though nothing is certain, we had determined that most likely, if we were to get divorced and c...
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Loupiness
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2
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281
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My Roller Coaster is going forward again : )
(Preview)
What a weekend, full of my usual ups and downs and sideways...However, since last weeks melt down..lol.. I have slowly picked up a few lessons along the way.. I have not been speaking to my H for a couple days due to his usual, "Run" effect that seems to happen when I am in need of some assistanc...
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Jozie
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3
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898
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Spring volcano in my shed...WHY
(Preview)
Dear God, You saw me working hard for two days clearing out my closet, getting ready for a major wardrobe turnover for your warm and lovely spring , summer. You know I do ALL the work myself...no help lifting, lugging, cleaning. I even patiently controlled my instinct to rip into Hub's gnarly...
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wp
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7
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424
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Being Grateful
(Preview)
On the way home from my F2F meeting Friday night I had to deal with a problem with my son, and some inappropriate texting to a girl in his class. Needless to say when I got home, we argued, I took his phone, then proceeded after he told me in a rather smart mouth way that "I can live without that cell ph...
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shellyj123
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5
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444
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Need some help with my son.
(Preview)
Hey everyone. First I want to say I'm so thankfull for this board. I read it ever night I work. I work the graveyard shift. I feel I'm not alone with all of you here and reading all the post. Ok here it My AH has been dinking all our marriage. 30 yrs + I also went out when we were dating but I was never a drinker a d...
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peacewithin
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6
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530
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trying to stay focused on me
(Preview)
To make a long story short my A boyfriends cousin is visiting from SC and his family is having a get together this afternoon. I'm not sure if I'm going or not me and my 4 yr old got sunburned yesterday afternoon and my boyfriend isn't sure if there will be any shade at his relatives house (an apartment buil...
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Holly09
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3
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371
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Showing gratitude
(Preview)
I would like to say thank for the comfort and encouragement I have received since I started to post on the site. Especially this week. After my first deep share last week on my deepest feelings of resentment I managed to use the al-anon tools to the best of my ability to let of the hurt/expectation I was a...
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chezza
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2
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410
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I Guess this is a Start in the Rigth Direction
(Preview)
I am not quite sure where to start and sure hope that I am posting in the correct section My AH is very loving and caring person. He is well respected, has many wonderful qualities and makes me feel special for the most part, but he is an A. AH has been a heavy drinker since his teens, and AH is now approachi...
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Alice222
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4
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361
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my son's relapse
(Preview)
I am sitting here waiting to hear about my son who was just arrested for a dui. This is just too hard sometimes.
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Gailey
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8
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500
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To My MIP Family
(Preview)
Hello To All, For what ever reason that only my AW and HP knows my wife quit drinking 10 days ago. I realized it the day it happened. She had been drinking 12 to 15 beers a day for years. When that day came 10 days ago I could'nt actually believe it, and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wa...
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RLC
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8
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495
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Can't stand no more
(Preview)
It's been awhile. I moved out for awhile so my A could find some place else to live. He was to be moved out yesterday but he was still here. I gave him and his drinkin buddies a choice to get out or I would leave again and turn everything off. He started his crap. But I stood my ground. He left with his bud...
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Annie69
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4
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368
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Update on Open for thoughts, comments, suggestions
(Preview)
I am learning to let go and let God. I did so with the donation situation (see post on open for thoughts, comments and suggestions a few days ago for the whole story). I let it drop with no answer and did not bring it up again to my AH. I also let it go in MY mind, deciding if it came up again, then I could think a...
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hort7
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4
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369
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Everything's great until the suspicion comes in.
(Preview)
Ever since my husband got out from detox I have been the model Al-Anon spouse. I've been working my program, going to meetings, and reading my literature - I had everything under control (because I knew my husband was working his program and not drinking). Well today I have a sneaking suspicion that h...
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N8SMOM
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7
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619
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My friend passed away today
(Preview)
Got the phone call that my friend Helen(that I had mentioned from previous post) passed away today. We never want to loose our loved ones, but she was struggling just to breathe. She was exhausted from the effort. She is now in a far better place than we are now. The Priest came yesterday to adminis...
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clara
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17
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1705
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I AM BACK
(Preview)
HI EVERYONE I wanted to tell you that i have missed all of you. While i was gone I was dealing with my husband telling me that he was and addict he was doing herion. I was having a hard time and I know that when i should of come in but I was so angry over everything. ALso he was getting treated for HEP C so I was deal...
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nycbt
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5
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423
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Clawing my way out of that hole in the road
(Preview)
The past couple of days have been up and down for me emotionally. I'm finding that while I can usually maintain my composure during a confrontation or at least physically detach myself from it, the emotional effects inevitably set in the next day.Yesterday I was filled with hurt and sadness. I fel...
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blender_girl
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5
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353
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nutty meeting today...
(Preview)
OK, so I took some suggestions from people about my earlier post regarding off-traditions, some might call 'swick' meetings...decided to go do some active practicing 'take what you like and leave the rest'. The highlights: arrived on time, mtg started late. 'How important is it' a woman came in, an...
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alanonicScotland
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6
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574
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The ACOA Laundry List
(Preview)
Okay, here is the laundry list for ACOA. I read this everyday as part of my program. This keeps it near the front of my brain. If I get the feeling of dejavu or familiarity, I seem to always find it on the list so I can understand what's going on. Reading the list everyday also allows me to see how mu...
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alizator
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5
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8499
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So upset/mad/hurt
(Preview)
Hi Its Lilly, I need to vent..Ive been doing so well, got my sister in law to tell my exAH to leave me alone..I got some silent calls then a nasty one, accusing me of saying things to his ex. Well, I was trying to change my sky account and found emails from him, march 27th (10 days after he went off to his new lif...
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Lilly Burn
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8
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394
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Hi, I'm new...
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm new and a little nervous. I'm not sure how to start. I guess my first question is am I supposed to be here only if I've broken off with my ABF? He is going to be 8 years sober this summer, however; he has not been working his program for about a year now and though promised me he'd start ma...
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lizzakiss
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9
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485
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A moral problem that I'm having
(Preview)
My step-father is an alcoholic and refuses any sort of help whatsoever. He has been to a meeting in the past, but decided that it wasn't for him. I don't deal with him on any sort of regular basis - but my problem is his drinking and driving. He has a tendency to drink in his truck driving around this rural ar...
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windyturn
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5
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481
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learning to detach with love is like learning to walk...
(Preview)
I can really see how totally different it is to walk around in your life with being able to detach with love and NOT. Its really just like being able to walk or not. Or read or not. Its that massive and foundational. I could never detach and I certainly could not with love but I am finding that yes I can and...
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Jean4444
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4
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2104
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What I want vs what am I getting
(Preview)
At the suggestion of my sponsor, I'm putting together lists - what do I want? What am I currently getting? How do I get what I want? This has been very thought-provoking for me and I wanted to share with you what I have discovered so far. What do I want?ˇ To feel valued, cherished, loved, respec...
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blender_girl
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4
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452
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Accepting Gifts
(Preview)
I'm starting a new thread from what Blender Girl started, so as not to spin her thread off in another direction. blender_girl wrote: ˇ To feel valued, cherished, loved, respected, trusted by a partner/spouse/significant other ˇ To be able to trust a partner/spouse/significant other with my thoug...
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barisax
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2
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452
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I am learning.........S-L-O-W-L-Y
(Preview)
I am obviously a slow learner, but I am learning........slowly. I have learned the HARD way that there are some answers I will never have, and if I did have the EXABF answer them I doubt I would believe him anyway, his version of events tend to change around and mix me up even more. I also am learning...
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shellyj123
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1
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319
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Do you Drink?
(Preview)
I'm just wondering how many of you drink even though you are dealing with an alcoholic in your life? I'll admit that I enjoy wine. But I'm the type of person who likes to be relaxed to enjoy a glass or two of wine. These past few weeks have been so stressful, that the thought of having a glass has not been ap...
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N8SMOM
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24
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666
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