The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
last night i attended an alanon meeting for the first time since the restraining order/court drama involving my ex A-bf it was so comforting to have an hour to sit and listen to the experiences of others for that one hour i felt like i wasn't the only person in the world who was trying to make her life more manageable and pleasant
i took home an old copy of the forum and found an article on fear one contributor said that she moves from fear to faith by asking god to help her do what needs to be done despite the fear so she doesn't wait for the emotions to change she pushes through even if fear won't let up i found that very helpful because i tend to try to do things to get my emotions to a place where i can function today i am doing the things i need to for school and the rest of my life despite the horrible feelings that blind me to the joy of living
as with most things, there is a time to push through and a time to rest i just can't get over how traumatizing this whole experience has been from the painful energy, feelings and thoughts i picked up while dating him through the fear of his retaliation when released from jail isn't it incredible how much hurt can be generated from inside our bodies, just through our minds! i should go exercise to release some good endorphins! if you are putting off things because of the weight of your emotions today, you may consider telling those emotions "you can stay if you want to but, i have to tend to other things!"
Ha, your last line gave me a good laugh! But what that contributor said about fear is true... that's what courage is. Just do it anyway, even though it is foreign & new. Walk through it. I realized I was sabotaging myself a lot just by the fear, it paralyzes you. Then I had the constant guilt, that was making me think I had to do for others. When I started working on self love & focusing on me for nearly a year I felt tremendous guilt -- where was my self preservation, I kept asking myself. I noticed how negative my thoughts were, so I've been working on being positive.
I realized I couldnt just stop doing something, I had to find new behavior to replace old with. That worked for me. Now I focus on me & gratitude, as I really want that to continue to grow. I no longer fantasize/project about what I dont want - today I am actively manifesting what I DO want. Living in the moment & getting the most out of my experiences.
I've been depressed this last decade and stopped working out, Now I'm 41 & trying to get back into shape. it's hard & if I think about it too much, I get overwhelmed & want to not even try. So each day, I go small, I start to stretch or maybe lift a little bit. Doing something is better than nothing. I went from 10,000 to absolute zero. I am seeking balance in my life. I could probably do with making a schedule.
Back to feelings -- you're right, they will change. Often movement itself will create a change in feeling, so that can actually speed up the process. I know things are scary but once I start doing it, the fear is alleviated. I also remind myself, "I'm experiencing fear b/c this is new behavior" & that helps me, to use a lil logic. If my feelings are over whelming I offer them willingly to god & surrender them & that works well & without fail, as long as i';m sincere.
Glad u had a positive experience at your meeting. You are not alone anymore.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I try to work with my emotions rather than try to suppress them. That doesn't mean I let them go haywire but if I feel angered by a situation I use that anger.
Fear can be a hard one for me. I can be totally immobilized by it.
I am glad you are getting out for support you so deserve it!
I have experienced the pushing to the fear also. I learned that fear is just an emotion and then I learned the acronym for fear F E A R. The basis for my fear is FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. The stories in my head are not real...false evidence. I am reacting to negative fantasy...Had to change it and did. Not a whole lot of fear around anymore.
Good for you for getting back to the rooms of Al-Anon... I am sure it was a wonderful feeling.. I know with me, I am so happy to be somewere "No One bothers me, no phones, no worry's) and mostly the support, and Love of the others...
I soo get the fear, but I do love how Jerry defined it :) F E A R "FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL" Thanks Jerry...Love new thoughts...
Go Easy on you and get to a place back in the NOW.. Always works for me ;) Take what you like and leave the rest :) Jozie
