The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i dont know what to do... my husband has a drinking problem and its really starting to affect our whole family. i thought it was getting better and now all of a sudden hes drinking and driving, lying about how much hes had or where hes drinking at. i found out he even drank at work... he will lose his job. hes the only one working... im a stay at home mom. we have 2 daughters 2yrs and 5months, and his daughter who is almost 9 lives with us full time. i dont know what to do. he acts like he cares more about his beer then his family. i love him but i cant just sit here and watch him piss his life away. he is gunna end up killing someone or himself. he ruined easter with his drinking and it was also our daughters 2nd birthday. when hes drunk the entire room smells like it. the girls know when he is drunk and his oldest daughter can see he has a problem. its just really sad. i dont wanna be married to a man who cant stop drinking, my girls need a dad not a drunk. i dont know how to deal with him when hes drunk and he doesnt talk to me when hes sober. if ne one can give me some advice that would be great. Thanks 13
Welcome Lindsey, you've come to a great place... I'd encourage you to get to Al-Anon meetings - they will help you a great deal.... Also read whatver you can get your hands on - one strong recommendation would be "Getting Them Sober", volume one, written by Toby Rice Drews...
Sounds pretty clear to me that your hubby is an alcoholic, and the reality is that he may or may not choose to get better.... The good news is.... YOU can choose to get YOU better.
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Welcome to MIP...you have found your way to a wonderful place and I hope you will keep coming back. Know that you are not alone, and you can find serenity in all of the insanity that you deal with on a daily basis.
Try to find a local AlAnon meeting in your area, and you will learn how to take care of you and detach with love from your husband so you can live a happy peaceful life.
Take care of you and keep coming back-it truly does work if you work it:)
your friend in recovery
shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
WELCOME. You are not alone. I know you may feel alone right now (I've felt alone many times), but since you have found this message board, you are no longer alone. Many of us have gone through or are going through the same thing as you right now. The only advice I can give is to take care of yourself and your daughters. Try to find an Al-Anon meeting in your area and perhaps an Alateen meeting for the 9-year old. These meetings are a huge help - I've been going for 3 weeks and I cannot tell you the difference I feel in myself. The meetings are for you and the kids, not for the alcoholic. Because whether he gets sober or not, you need to take care of yourself and these meetings will help.
I am a stay-at-home mom too and I cannot tell you how many times I've caught my husband drinking on the job. It's such a scary/overwhelming feeling because he's the only one earning money in the house. Unfortunately I'm new to Al-Anon, so I really don't have much more advice to give you except to try to get to some meetings. A lot of meetings offer babysitting if you don't have anyone to take care of the girls. Or if you have friends and/or family you can count on, lean on them now. I know it may seem hard to ask for help (it was for me), but it was the best thing I did. Just try to take things one day at a time (one hour at a time, or even one minute at time) - whatever helps you get through the day.
I also know how you are feeling but I been in it a long time. Just take care of you and your girls. Call a safe house they will help you also. even if he is not abusing you physicaly he is mentaly. Please take care I know how you feel
(((hugz))) Deb
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I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could not do alone.
Hello Lindsey and welcome. You have come to the right place. I strongly recommend the words of the others that have posted in response to your post; find an al-anon meeting and go to every meeting you possibly can.
After several meetings, pick a sponsor. Your sponsor will be a great source of comfort to you during these difficult times you are going through.
Good luck and keep coming back!!!
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
thank you all so much... its nice to know im not alone. i am going to try to get to the next meeting, my mom has a friend who goes and said she would be more then happy to take me along. im going to read those books also. thank you all for the advice. i know its going to get better. im determined to be happy... for me and my girls. thank you again
Welcome you are in the right place. If you can get the book, Getting them Sober. That book is a lifesaver. I can't encourage you enough to get really involved with al anon.
