Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Steph444 · Steph444

I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...

Lostinthisworld · Lostinthisworld

Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...

amanda07 · amanda07

From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn

Chelle3 · Chelle3

This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I watched, "Bicentennial Man" spell? I found myself crying at the end. Though I cannot remember, blocked out, the strong love we had. my A and I, things will make me cry. AFter all these years! What Dreams may come gets me too, and Ghost. Some is my first A husband who died, some is my dear ex AH k...

sick-and-tired · sick-and-tired

Hello. I don't even know where to really start. Bare with me..as this might be a little long. My alcoholic is my mother. She was diagnosed with cirrhoses of the liver about 3 years ago. They put her on hospice (an agency for the terminally ill) The disease ran its course pretty quick, and within the year s...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I was married to an alcoholic/co-dependent. My mom is very co-dependent and is now addicted to pills. I've been in a relationship now for two year with a man who I love very much. He is also an addict but he has only had one slip up during our this 2+ years and has sporadically attended NA meetings (not enou...

badvox · badvox

Hello group, My name is Mike and this is where I am at. I myself am a recovering addict with 16 years. However, this side of this is new to me and I am now learning what I put my loved ones through when I was active in my addiction. Recently, (this week Wednesday) I had to put my foot down with my wife. Actuall...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Since A-BF's relapse over the weekend, I have been so hurt and angry. But I am still focusing on my recovery. I was scolding myself for being angry, but it is what it is. I feel like I have that right, as long as I don't react. I have been trying very hard to detach from the situation. If he calls me and starts w...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So. I talked to my AH last night. Took care of the kids, did some journalling and soul searching and then woke him up and said we need to talk. I told him "you need to go to rehab or AA and the alcohol stops today. You need to accompany me to marriage counselling if you still want a marriage. I love yo...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

At times, some have shared helpful youtube videos on this board. How does one do that?

amanda07 · amanda07

I have a Social Work degree, so I have always had a need to nurture and 'help' others in need. However, I never thought I'd allow myself to remain in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. I even did my undergraduate internship with a chemical dependency support program, so I know the signs. I've been datin...

Ness · Ness

Hi family..........my long trip is over. Ive had no computer for the last 2 months on the road..... it was an old laptop and finally gave out. Ive missed checking in here at MIP and now have lots of catching up to do. The trip has been healing for both husb & I....taking ourselves away from the disease...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife and I are basically a year into this situation...a year ago it was becoming apparent that there was a problem with her drinking...the other issues in our relationship were there previously; and the other individual issues in our lives have been there for many, many years, long before we knew e...

Steph444 · Steph444

This may not be all that important in the larger scheme of life, but it is driving me crazy. Everytime my husband is home in the evenings and I am studying, he finds things to try and fight about. Everything could be perfect and he would find SOMETHING. If I'm just watching tv or cooking, he doesn't do i...

Issy18 · Issy18

Ive been living with an addict for a couple years now, in the form of my sister. Me and my sister used to have a really good relationship, but after she came back home from college her drinking took over. She started doing other drugs as well. After the past couple years, Ive grown to have a immense dislike...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I attended my first meeting tonight. It was emotional and comforting at the same time. I didn't say much. When I first got there, a man in the group talked to me and asked me if I wanted to share why I was there. I tried to but ended up getting choked up. WHY do I DO that??!! I know I am strong enough to admit I ne...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I probably should be at a meeting but I have not been feeling good. The problem is even when I`am not feeling well, I want to see my grandaughter and I push myself to make a good dinner because I feel that this is a good opportunity to get her to have some healthy food. I`am really struggling with her lately....

kath · kath

I know I really must sound like a broken record. After no contact with my AH since the first of January, I decided I would let him know how our daughter is doing. It ended up in a big fight. I know he is still using. He does not want to come to our home to see her, he wants me to bring her to him for an extended stay....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am working at the state mental health facility in Myrtle Beach, SC. I was talking to my supervisor who said.... I want you to start going to alanon meetings... I told him I was well acquainted with alanon and had no problem with that and that I had been for personal reasons. He said he had too and that i...

GG Jones · GG Jones

I am new to this forum, but have been lurking for a while reading others post. My husband of 23 years was diagnosed with Lupus and RA three years ago. Since then our life has been a living hell. His family doctor started giving him pain pills, while his rheumatologist told him he didnt need to be taking op...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Again things are ok, I'm not particularly down etc but I am having trouble dealing with regret. At the moment I stuff it more than anything or ignore it but I know that's not coping. I haven't learned yet how to actually "cope" with it. One of my biggest regrets is that my life choices have l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

After all the fear of my exah, which I later figured out was actually fear of myself reverting back to pre AlAnon days ... I have been in contact with my exah and am just fine. My side of the road is pretty normal, busy with work, school, working on myself and my moostiff. Over on his side of the road, a treatm...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, my husband went back to work yesterday. He has been off since January. That's the nature of his job, so we are used to that. When he walked in the door last night, he was a completely different person. He gave me money for bills and was rather pleasant to be around. Today, I am sick....sinus cold.......

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, not been on for awhile. AH and I had reached an impasse and he was set on doing the "moderation" thing. I set some rules of what I could tolerate and went about my own business. I have started counselling with a therapist who specializes in addiction. I have not been to any meeti...

parfait624 · parfait624

Okay so mostly I am venting....it has been almost two months since my ABF sent me a text I don't want any communication from you and three months since it all came crashing down. It hit me like a truck everything was perfect then my sober (off alcohol not pot) BF started picking fights. We were back wher...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I am breaking my addiction to me exAH and am reading every Al-anon book I can get my hands on. I am being a good mom and working my 3 part time jobs. I signed up for a 5k and my 13 year old a half marathon in May. I go to Church. I walk my dog regularly with my friend, I attend bible study, I attend a once a month par...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Hey everyone. I'm still doing fairly well. I've made a conscious effort to play with the puppy my wife got (even though I still don't WANT him). I find I get more annoyed than I usually would when he craps on the rug etc. Not his fault, but it reminds me that I don't want him. So, I try to have fun with him...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My ah & I did something kind of underhanded yesterday. I don't want to go into what it was but I feel guilty. It has to do w/ my MOM who I love dearly. Anyhow, I hope if she ever finds out she will forgive us. Like Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that! Now I have to go on w/ my life & strugg...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is my Dad again! I can't believe it --it looks like he might be back in the hospital according to my Mom. I can't believe that he is not getting healthy again. I want so bad to get good news that sticks! I am so grateful today that my Dad is still alive, though. I am counting on some good things happening for...

helpinghand56 · helpinghand56

I have a friend that lives out of state. He recently got sober and has been going to meetings. I have been sending him messages of support and he has been grateful and thanked me for supporting him. However last Sunday he responded to a message from me saying he was good but overwhelmed and would drop m...

floridawife · floridawife

Okay I know in Al-Anon we are not really suppose to give advice but I could really use some right now. A little back history: My AH has admitted his problem (he doesn't drink constantly-but occasionally he will go out with friends and get totally wasted), he drives drunk, swears it won't happen again, I...

Niecy · Niecy

Okay, So I've decided to start this program...the problem is that I care for 2 young children almost always. My ah is hardly ever here and I don't really have childcare. Can I start the program online? Here? How do I get a sponsor?

Loupiness · Loupiness

Life has been a whirlwind. My 14 yr old daughter broke her arm snowboarding, and needed surgical repair with pins. New boss at work, and I am convinced he is a drug-user. No other explanation for erratic, crazy behavior. Finally figured out what "al-anon in all my affairs means". Ha!...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Speaking from my own experience and feelings. I did not choose to have alcohol affect my life the way it has, I do recognize now however that I was an active participant in the progression of the disease. It is because of this that I have the choice to find recovery or claim the role of victim and seek ot...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Really glad that I found this site. I am a teacher and I also work at a restaurant a few nights a week. Sometimes my schedule gets so hectic that I don't make it to meetings. This is just what I was looking for. A safe place I can go when I can't make it to a meeting. Where people understand my feelings and where...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Why is it everytime I have to talk to my exAH about dettachment I end up sobbing and him angry. I set down my boundaries he said they all sounded understandable and than I told him that I had to let go completely no more hanging out for a movie or just being a friend, because it interferes with my recovery. Th...

Debilyn · Debilyn

virgin GUT not virgin guy! oh geez

Debilyn · Debilyn

Omgosh I could only do two big wheel barrow loads of wood and one wheel b of kindling in the van I borrowed from my son! My arms are owee. I am a wus! lol All the while Fezzik my Pomeranian is running around like an idiot and under my feet, squished Pom anyone? (c: Of course the only time it rained was when I was d...

Evian · Evian

It's been almost 2 weeks since my AH was told by Childrens Aid that he can not live with us at this time. Any visitation with the kids has to be supervised, and that he is to not have any alcohol 24hrs before the visit, or anything during the visit. This is the result of an argument that he was trying to have wi...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I went to my second meeting tonight, my first "beginner's meeting". I am just amazed at how wonderful this is. While it's hard to work through my emotions, because I am used to being "the strong one", the people I've already met so far have been beyond amazing. I spoke tonight......

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I have been actively attending Al-Anon meetings for about two months now. I tried it once about five years ago, but I wasn't ready to work the program. I went to a meeting out of pure desperation because I had no idea where else to go. I have two qualifiers - my boyfriend and my father. My father was in a coma...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My best friend called me a smart a** so I must be back to myself! (c: I am me again. That was a horrible one. I guess I have to face I need effexor. Thats ok. Am grateful it helps me! Learned to accept how I felt, took the help offered. Let myself heal as fast as I did.Cried a lot, mourned a lot. Got thru it. Kept ho...

Nutbar · Nutbar

Hi Team, I was having a read of my AW's 12 Steps AA book which is her bible and read the following under Step 6: "Self righteous anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us; for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiorit...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I have been in the same relationship with my boyfriend for over two years now. He's great to me in the sense that I trust him, I know he loves me, and he is supportive of me being my own person. The problem is that he had to take a job in south Florida in January. We haven't seen each other in almost two months no...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Living with an active alcoholic is like living with an elephant sitting on my chest. It is crushing and heart-breaking. Through Al-Anon, my elephant has gone on a diet and lost a lot of weight. This past week, though, my elephant went off his diet and started crushing me again. So, I turned to my AH (...

nadjjaa · nadjjaa

Ok, so the meeting are late as heck...that's my bad excuse. My good excuse is that I'm afraid of detachment. I love my husband. (I know the rest of you love your spouses too) I don't want a divorce. I want my husband back without the worry of him turning to full-blow alcoholism. I want the days back wh...

Nutbar · Nutbar

I think I suffered from social anxiety since I was a teenager. However, when my wife was drinking she did hugely embarrassing things at parties. This includes telling people how to run their lives which ended in arguments, flashing parts of her body that should not be flashed, pinching the bottoms of...

Jozie · Jozie

I just had probably one of the Best Weekends, I have had in a LONG Time... So Why is it I feel so Guilty about it... My Husband and I purchased a Piece of Property that in the Next 5-7 years we hope to Move too, When My Son is Out of School or Off to College... No One has lived there in Many Decades, and it has been o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It looks like my dad is out of the woods for now! He is home now & doing better--eating solid foods & all. To all who prayed: thanx so much! By the way, I could probably have called to check on him directly but he has a very huge loss of hearing & can barely talk on the phone. Now I don't have to cal...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I was sitting here, my mom came in & told me that my dad--they are divorced & have been for over 35 years--but anyhow, my dad is reluctant to get surgery because he is taking pain pills & feels better--I think he needs the surgery, though. He had been in painon Tuesday morning & ended u...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi, Can anyone talk to me about your experiences when your A was just beginning their recovery? My A, after 12 years of being a "dry drunk" and having a relapse is now working the program, has a sponsor, and is going to several meetings a week. I am also working on my recovery and it seems l...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I haven`t posted here in awhile but I have been able to find my way into the online meetings. Much has happened since I posted and then again, hmm, its really just the same I`am saddened to say. About a month ago my daughter informed me that she was going to start attending AA meetings. I tried not to let thi...

Loubelou · Loubelou

What is it? I just came back from a meeting on detachment and to be honest I'm probably more confused than when I got there. I was really hoping to understand it better, as well. I hear all the time people saying 'I detached with love and it was easier to handle' but I don't really get what it is. What are we de...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	abandonment (Preview) I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...	Steph444	13	1457	Mar 29, 2011 by Otie
	this is WAY bigger than me.. call the cops? (closed) (Preview) I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...	Loupiness	12	1321	Mar 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	My da (Preview) Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...	Lostinthisworld	4	892	Mar 29, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Detachment? (Preview) From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...	amanda07	4	1666	Mar 29, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Marisie where are you?? (Preview) Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn	Debilyn	2	761	Mar 29, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Couples Behavior Therapy to treat alcoholism.... (Preview) This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...	Chelle3	22	1490	Mar 29, 2011 by linbaba
	When and How to Tell People about the group (Preview) I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...	delhommefan	8	845	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	megacrisis time, need a sponsor (Preview) my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...	purpleraven	13	1054	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	HP Gives of Challenges Right? (Preview) Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...	delhommefan	5	853	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Today Would've Been 8 Years of Marriage (Preview) I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...	delhommefan	9	1051	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	I still cried!! (Preview) I watched, "Bicentennial Man" spell? I found myself crying at the end. Though I cannot remember, blocked out, the strong love we had. my A and I, things will make me cry. AFter all these years! What Dreams may come gets me too, and Ghost. Some is my first A husband who died, some is my dear ex AH k...	Debilyn	3	875	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Intro for sick-and-tired (Preview) Hello. I don't even know where to really start. Bare with me..as this might be a little long. My alcoholic is my mother. She was diagnosed with cirrhoses of the liver about 3 years ago. They put her on hospice (an agency for the terminally ill) The disease ran its course pretty quick, and within the year s...	sick-and-tired	11	1206	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Not sure hpw much more I can take!!!! (Preview) I was married to an alcoholic/co-dependent. My mom is very co-dependent and is now addicted to pills. I've been in a relationship now for two year with a man who I love very much. He is also an addict but he has only had one slip up during our this 2+ years and has sporadically attended NA meetings (not enou...	delhommefan	13	1438	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	First time - Need help (Preview) Hello group, My name is Mike and this is where I am at. I myself am a recovering addict with 16 years. However, this side of this is new to me and I am now learning what I put my loved ones through when I was active in my addiction. Recently, (this week Wednesday) I had to put my foot down with my wife. Actuall...	badvox	9	1036	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	I Think I Did This The Right Way... (Preview) Since A-BF's relapse over the weekend, I have been so hurt and angry. But I am still focusing on my recovery. I was scolding myself for being angry, but it is what it is. I feel like I have that right, as long as I don't react. I have been trying very hard to detach from the situation. If he calls me and starts w...	delhommefan	2	728	Mar 28, 2011 by RLC
	"moderation" .... update (Preview) So. I talked to my AH last night. Took care of the kids, did some journalling and soul searching and then woke him up and said we need to talk. I told him "you need to go to rehab or AA and the alcohol stops today. You need to accompany me to marriage counselling if you still want a marriage. I love yo...	newleaf66	4	862	Mar 28, 2011 by canadianguy
	To Embed a Youtube video - how? (Preview) At times, some have shared helpful youtube videos on this board. How does one do that?	GailMichelle	4	1251	Mar 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	First time (Preview) I have a Social Work degree, so I have always had a need to nurture and 'help' others in need. However, I never thought I'd allow myself to remain in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. I even did my undergraduate internship with a chemical dependency support program, so I know the signs. I've been datin...	amanda07	8	1210	Mar 27, 2011 by amanda07
	Update (Preview) Hi family..........my long trip is over. Ive had no computer for the last 2 months on the road..... it was an old laptop and finally gave out. Ive missed checking in here at MIP and now have lots of catching up to do. The trip has been healing for both husb & I....taking ourselves away from the disease...	Ness	5	895	Mar 27, 2011 by Ness
	Just keep thinking that divorce is the only answer... (Preview) My wife and I are basically a year into this situation...a year ago it was becoming apparent that there was a problem with her drinking...the other issues in our relationship were there previously; and the other individual issues in our lives have been there for many, many years, long before we knew e...	usedtobeanyer	12	1232	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	Need some ideas please (Preview) This may not be all that important in the larger scheme of life, but it is driving me crazy. Everytime my husband is home in the evenings and I am studying, he finds things to try and fight about. Everything could be perfect and he would find SOMETHING. If I'm just watching tv or cooking, he doesn't do i...	Steph444	13	1081	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	In desperate need of advice. (Preview) Ive been living with an addict for a couple years now, in the form of my sister. Me and my sister used to have a really good relationship, but after she came back home from college her drinking took over. She started doing other drugs as well. After the past couple years, Ive grown to have a immense dislike...	Issy18	6	1178	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	I Did It! (Preview) I attended my first meeting tonight. It was emotional and comforting at the same time. I didn't say much. When I first got there, a man in the group talked to me and asked me if I wanted to share why I was there. I tried to but ended up getting choked up. WHY do I DO that??!! I know I am strong enough to admit I ne...	delhommefan	9	903	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	Feeling Really Rotten about myself... (Preview) I probably should be at a meeting but I have not been feeling good. The problem is even when I`am not feeling well, I want to see my grandaughter and I push myself to make a good dinner because I feel that this is a good opportunity to get her to have some healthy food. I`am really struggling with her lately....	Samsgram	12	1128	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	broken record (Preview) I know I really must sound like a broken record. After no contact with my AH since the first of January, I decided I would let him know how our daughter is doing. It ended up in a big fight. I know he is still using. He does not want to come to our home to see her, he wants me to bring her to him for an extended stay....	kath	10	1176	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	Started my Practicum (Preview) I am working at the state mental health facility in Myrtle Beach, SC. I was talking to my supervisor who said.... I want you to start going to alanon meetings... I told him I was well acquainted with alanon and had no problem with that and that I had been for personal reasons. He said he had too and that i...	carolinagirl	3	841	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	New here, LOST! (Preview) I am new to this forum, but have been lurking for a while reading others post. My husband of 23 years was diagnosed with Lupus and RA three years ago. Since then our life has been a living hell. His family doctor started giving him pain pills, while his rheumatologist told him he didnt need to be taking op...	GG Jones	6	1042	Mar 27, 2011 by GG Jones
	Coping with regret (Preview) Again things are ok, I'm not particularly down etc but I am having trouble dealing with regret. At the moment I stuff it more than anything or ignore it but I know that's not coping. I haven't learned yet how to actually "cope" with it. One of my biggest regrets is that my life choices have l...	mjhyankees	12	6065	Mar 27, 2011 by Christy
	twists and turns (Preview) After all the fear of my exah, which I later figured out was actually fear of myself reverting back to pre AlAnon days ... I have been in contact with my exah and am just fine. My side of the road is pretty normal, busy with work, school, working on myself and my moostiff. Over on his side of the road, a treatm...	Jennifer	2	909	Mar 27, 2011 by Jerry F
	Stayin' On the Right Track (Preview) Well, my husband went back to work yesterday. He has been off since January. That's the nature of his job, so we are used to that. When he walked in the door last night, he was a completely different person. He gave me money for bills and was rather pleasant to be around. Today, I am sick....sinus cold.......	Steph444	1	874	Mar 26, 2011 by hotrod
	"moderation" has run its course... (Preview) Hello all, not been on for awhile. AH and I had reached an impasse and he was set on doing the "moderation" thing. I set some rules of what I could tolerate and went about my own business. I have started counselling with a therapist who specializes in addiction. I have not been to any meeti...	newleaf66	5	991	Mar 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	It sucks loving someone who is sick! (Preview) Okay so mostly I am venting....it has been almost two months since my ABF sent me a text I don't want any communication from you and three months since it all came crashing down. It hit me like a truck everything was perfect then my sober (off alcohol not pot) BF started picking fights. We were back wher...	parfait624	16	1477	Mar 26, 2011 by sick-and-tired
	Without the drama life seems dull (Preview) I am breaking my addiction to me exAH and am reading every Al-anon book I can get my hands on. I am being a good mom and working my 3 part time jobs. I signed up for a 5k and my 13 year old a half marathon in May. I go to Church. I walk my dog regularly with my friend, I attend bible study, I attend a once a month par...	flopadopilus	7	1147	Mar 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	extracting happiness (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm still doing fairly well. I've made a conscious effort to play with the puppy my wife got (even though I still don't WANT him). I find I get more annoyed than I usually would when he craps on the rug etc. Not his fault, but it reminds me that I don't want him. So, I try to have fun with him...	mjhyankees	3	908	Mar 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	why guilt is coming again! (Preview) My ah & I did something kind of underhanded yesterday. I don't want to go into what it was but I feel guilty. It has to do w/ my MOM who I love dearly. Anyhow, I hope if she ever finds out she will forgive us. Like Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that! Now I have to go on w/ my life & strugg...	Hoot Nanny	0	736	Mar 26, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	my Dad again! (Preview) It is my Dad again! I can't believe it --it looks like he might be back in the hospital according to my Mom. I can't believe that he is not getting healthy again. I want so bad to get good news that sticks! I am so grateful today that my Dad is still alive, though. I am counting on some good things happening for...	Hoot Nanny	3	749	Mar 26, 2011 by Desirae
	Friend is distant since starting AA is this normal? (Preview) I have a friend that lives out of state. He recently got sober and has been going to meetings. I have been sending him messages of support and he has been grateful and thanked me for supporting him. However last Sunday he responded to a message from me saying he was good but overwhelmed and would drop m...	helpinghand56	7	1235	Mar 25, 2011 by helpinghand56
	Need advice (Preview) Okay I know in Al-Anon we are not really suppose to give advice but I could really use some right now. A little back history: My AH has admitted his problem (he doesn't drink constantly-but occasionally he will go out with friends and get totally wasted), he drives drunk, swears it won't happen again, I...	floridawife	8	767	Mar 25, 2011 by Jennifer
	How to start via internet (Preview) Okay, So I've decided to start this program...the problem is that I care for 2 young children almost always. My ah is hardly ever here and I don't really have childcare. Can I start the program online? Here? How do I get a sponsor?	Niecy	5	1288	Mar 25, 2011 by xeno59
	confusion, fear and insomnia (Preview) Life has been a whirlwind. My 14 yr old daughter broke her arm snowboarding, and needed surgical repair with pins. New boss at work, and I am convinced he is a drug-user. No other explanation for erratic, crazy behavior. Finally figured out what "al-anon in all my affairs means". Ha!...	Loupiness	5	1026	Mar 25, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	choices (Preview) Speaking from my own experience and feelings. I did not choose to have alcohol affect my life the way it has, I do recognize now however that I was an active participant in the progression of the disease. It is because of this that I have the choice to find recovery or claim the role of victim and seek ot...	DadtoCandE	2	834	Mar 25, 2011 by Corgi2
	Looking for an outsider's perspective (Preview) Really glad that I found this site. I am a teacher and I also work at a restaurant a few nights a week. Sometimes my schedule gets so hectic that I don't make it to meetings. This is just what I was looking for. A safe place I can go when I can't make it to a meeting. Where people understand my feelings and where...	Corgi2	6	1121	Mar 25, 2011 by Corgi2
	We had THE talk again (Preview) Why is it everytime I have to talk to my exAH about dettachment I end up sobbing and him angry. I set down my boundaries he said they all sounded understandable and than I told him that I had to let go completely no more hanging out for a movie or just being a friend, because it interferes with my recovery. Th...	flopadopilus	7	1128	Mar 25, 2011 by david62
	Oh noooo! I meant (Preview) virgin GUT not virgin guy! oh geez	Debilyn	4	889	Mar 24, 2011 by Debilyn
	It's official, I am old! (Preview) Omgosh I could only do two big wheel barrow loads of wood and one wheel b of kindling in the van I borrowed from my son! My arms are owee. I am a wus! lol All the while Fezzik my Pomeranian is running around like an idiot and under my feet, squished Pom anyone? (c: Of course the only time it rained was when I was d...	Debilyn	8	1084	Mar 24, 2011 by Debilyn
	Missing him (Preview) It's been almost 2 weeks since my AH was told by Childrens Aid that he can not live with us at this time. Any visitation with the kids has to be supervised, and that he is to not have any alcohol 24hrs before the visit, or anything during the visit. This is the result of an argument that he was trying to have wi...	Evian	5	790	Mar 24, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Second meeting tonight...A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!! (Preview) I went to my second meeting tonight, my first "beginner's meeting". I am just amazed at how wonderful this is. While it's hard to work through my emotions, because I am used to being "the strong one", the people I've already met so far have been beyond amazing. I spoke tonight......	delhommefan	5	1074	Mar 24, 2011 by flopadopilus
	How can I live with active alcoholism??? Help (Preview) I have been actively attending Al-Anon meetings for about two months now. I tried it once about five years ago, but I wasn't ready to work the program. I went to a meeting out of pure desperation because I had no idea where else to go. I have two qualifiers - my boyfriend and my father. My father was in a coma...	Corgi2	7	1940	Mar 24, 2011 by flopadopilus
	update, getting thru it (Preview) My best friend called me a smart a** so I must be back to myself! (c: I am me again. That was a horrible one. I guess I have to face I need effexor. Thats ok. Am grateful it helps me! Learned to accept how I felt, took the help offered. Let myself heal as fast as I did.Cried a lot, mourned a lot. Got thru it. Kept ho...	Debilyn	7	915	Mar 24, 2011 by Corgi2
	Yahoo for me (I think!) (Preview) Hi Team, I was having a read of my AW's 12 Steps AA book which is her bible and read the following under Step 6: "Self righteous anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us; for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiorit...	Nutbar	6	1207	Mar 24, 2011 by Jerry F
	How Do You Know If You're Just Being "Codependent" or Your Thoughts are Justified? (Preview) I have been in the same relationship with my boyfriend for over two years now. He's great to me in the sense that I trust him, I know he loves me, and he is supportive of me being my own person. The problem is that he had to take a job in south Florida in January. We haven't seen each other in almost two months no...	delhommefan	6	1525	Mar 23, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Getting the elephant off my chest (Preview) Living with an active alcoholic is like living with an elephant sitting on my chest. It is crushing and heart-breaking. Through Al-Anon, my elephant has gone on a diet and lost a lot of weight. This past week, though, my elephant went off his diet and started crushing me again. So, I turned to my AH (...	Very Very Tired	2	820	Mar 23, 2011 by RLC
	Why I have avoided alanon (Preview) Ok, so the meeting are late as heck...that's my bad excuse. My good excuse is that I'm afraid of detachment. I love my husband. (I know the rest of you love your spouses too) I don't want a divorce. I want my husband back without the worry of him turning to full-blow alcoholism. I want the days back wh...	nadjjaa	19	1087	Mar 22, 2011 by nadjjaa
	Social Anxiety (Preview) I think I suffered from social anxiety since I was a teenager. However, when my wife was drinking she did hugely embarrassing things at parties. This includes telling people how to run their lives which ended in arguments, flashing parts of her body that should not be flashed, pinching the bottoms of...	Nutbar	9	823	Mar 22, 2011 by Nutbar
	How do I Override Guilt! (Preview) I just had probably one of the Best Weekends, I have had in a LONG Time... So Why is it I feel so Guilty about it... My Husband and I purchased a Piece of Property that in the Next 5-7 years we hope to Move too, When My Son is Out of School or Off to College... No One has lived there in Many Decades, and it has been o...	Jozie	5	1210	Mar 21, 2011 by likemyheart
	another update: MY DAD (Preview) It looks like my dad is out of the woods for now! He is home now & doing better--eating solid foods & all. To all who prayed: thanx so much! By the way, I could probably have called to check on him directly but he has a very huge loss of hearing & can barely talk on the phone. Now I don't have to cal...	Hoot Nanny	1	785	Mar 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	me again: update! (Preview) As I was sitting here, my mom came in & told me that my dad--they are divorced & have been for over 35 years--but anyhow, my dad is reluctant to get surgery because he is taking pain pills & feels better--I think he needs the surgery, though. He had been in painon Tuesday morning & ended u...	Hoot Nanny	2	563	Mar 21, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	The Early Days of Recovery. (Preview) Hi, Can anyone talk to me about your experiences when your A was just beginning their recovery? My A, after 12 years of being a "dry drunk" and having a relapse is now working the program, has a sponsor, and is going to several meetings a week. I am also working on my recovery and it seems l...	Aimee	8	1286	Mar 21, 2011 by maryjane
	Its been awhile now.... (Preview) I haven`t posted here in awhile but I have been able to find my way into the online meetings. Much has happened since I posted and then again, hmm, its really just the same I`am saddened to say. About a month ago my daughter informed me that she was going to start attending AA meetings. I tried not to let thi...	Samsgram	2	773	Mar 21, 2011 by Samsgram
	Detachment (Preview) What is it? I just came back from a meeting on detachment and to be honest I'm probably more confused than when I got there. I was really hoping to understand it better, as well. I hear all the time people saying 'I detached with love and it was easier to handle' but I don't really get what it is. What are we de...	Loubelou	8	1208	Mar 21, 2011 by Loubelou
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.