How not to be affected? - Al-Anon Family Group

mjhyankees · Senior Member

How not to be affected?

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I have had many times like this. It happens to me when I've got too much on my plate. My mind is telling me, "I should be able to handle this, no problem. I'm good at logistics, I'm good at keeping a lot of balls in the air, there have been times far more stressful than this." But my body is saying NO. Sometimes past stressors come up and wallop us when we finally are out of a state of crisis -- I think it's a kind of burn-out. And if you've been at maximum capacity for a while, and putting your own needs on the back burner, and one more thing happens, like the puppy making a mess and you know you'll be the one to clean it up -- and you didn't choose that puppy in the first place and you're trying to make peace with it being there but really you are already at maximum capacity -- I would say it's no wonder your body is saying NO MORE.

I've always had a hard time seeing how to lighten my load. I hope you can find some ways (logistical or mental or both) and keep getting maximum support. These things are not easy, no matter how much our brains are telling us we should cope with a million things with no problem.

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

It helps me to suedo-meditate. I breathe in peace and calm, breathe out anxiety and stress as many times (and as often) as it takes to feel better.

It convinces my mind and body of what I want.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I learned how to not respond, look at my own life, do my best to calmly get thru the A stuff, then I learned to realized the other stuff was just life.

For me it was acceptance. Life is not easy. We just have some things happen that we just have to clean up, or fix or accept.

When the puppy gets the toilet paper and tears it up all over, I just laugh and clean it up. Or my car is dead, I gotta take the battery from the p up and take care of it. NOT easy for me. Have learned by teaching myself its just life, part of it all.

Its made things so much easier, of course it took time to take everything as just part of life, don't even skip a beat.

I think when we have to deal with such huge things, that the little things are like a stick poking ya, ya know? We have had enough!

When ya have puppies, thats what they do when we don't put them out enough on a routine. So when things like that happen, it does not phase me.

I sure do relate though.

Sure am glad you are feeling better, learning the skills, and now they are coming more natural! That is progress. (c:

I am at the point I say well nobodys dead. Again it took time to train myself not to sweat the small stuff. Once we learn that, we don't have the physical reaction. We accept.

It takes time to get yourself to really realize everything is ok and not sweat the small stuff. Until then we still tense up, and feel bad inside. I learned to breath deeply, drop my elbows. Learned to change those physical painful reactions.

Caffeine, sugar, coffee, nicotine all those will make it worse. Anxiety takes a lot to work on. there are medications that can help you also. melatonin helps me. Multi enzymes help too.

glad you are working on things. Good share, debilyn

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

It took me until I was 37 years old to realize that I was a victim of my enviornment. That I was just reacting and trying to cope with what was dealt to me. That I was not the master of what I could control, me.

I had to play a new tape in my mind and rid myself of everything that I had learned up until then or reacted too, or I was going to destroy myself with hatred,
anxiety and resentment about what life had thrown my way. My daughter was abducted by her own Father for many years, (25 years) my 2nd husband had literally
lost his mind because we lost a 2 year old child to a heart defect. I had to escape with my life from him, while hoping he would get better. Many tragedies had befallen on me. Even inviting the alcoholic into my life.(third husband)I thought God was a punishing God. Lessons to be learned.

If our lives were perfect and we did not have adversity we would never seek to find the answers, we would never grow, and that everything comes from
our own life. All our thoughts, are spoken word and actions come from us. That it is not random and we get exactly what we need for our life, good and bad.

If you keep seeking like you are you will find the peace and serenity that you are looking for because you seek it.

With much hope, Bettina

-- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 19th of March 2011 03:09:59 PM

-- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 19th of March 2011 03:12:12 PM

-- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 19th of March 2011 03:13:35 PM

-- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 19th of March 2011 03:14:52 PM

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Good post MJ...for me that is a reminder that the disease lives on four levels and
those are...mind, body, spirit and emotions. You posted and I remembered the
times when my mind and emotions were in order and my body and spirit were tired
and truthfully not willing to cooperate. They are all connected...one affecting the
other. Your post reminded me of learning how to send my body on vacaction
from all of the enabling stuff so that it could have fun and to include the other
three in it. Bodies get sick and tired of being sick and tired and when they are
and the enabler's mind and emotions and spirit says hey we can handle another
4 trips and tasks in this short period of time the body can and will respond, "I'll
just puke over all of this then while you guys are smiling."

"No" is a complete sentence. "No not now" is a sentence without commitment. "No
you go" is a sentence asking for cooperation and so on. Give your stomach a
vacation and a soothing treat while someone else picks up other ends of the job.

(((((hugs))))) smile

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