Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am really working on not allowing myself to be pulled into his *stuff*. Last night when I went to pick him up from the interview, I knew that he had been drinking because when I called to find out where he was, he kept asking me where *I* was. I knew when I parked across the street and watched a guy that ran...

andream · andream

Hello Al-Anon, I've been dating this wonderful man for a year now. However, I've witnessed him "binge drink" about once a month or every other month. He had smoked pot very infrequently throughout the year, however, I used to just be so focused on whether or not he was an alcoholic. Marijua...

Dawny · Dawny

My husband of 13 years is now almost 5 months sober. I am proud of him but because he betrayed my trust so much when he was deep into his disease, I still have my moments of insanity and dont trust him. I attend weekly alanon meeting but i am not finding my compasson and i still dont forgive him for what he put...

tommyecat · tommyecat

A dear friend of mine just informed me that she lost her baby. She was six months pregnant. My heart aches for her and her husband. I cannot imagine the grief they are in. For those of you that believe in the power of prayer, would you please consider saying a quick prayer for my dear friend that is str...

youfoundme · youfoundme

My abf and I had a good weekend, we got a lot accomplished, he helped me dig up and plant a flower bed at our new place. We talked and had a good time. Today he has a job interview. He is not driving right now (guess why?) and so I went and picked him up to get him to the area of town he could walk from my work to th...

Loupiness · Loupiness

How do I give what I clearly don't have? I just cannot communicate with my teen son, and when he talks to me, it is often as if I am reliving my time with my exAH. I am getting to a point where I think I may just need to let go and hope that someday maturity and humility (on both our parts) may bring us together aga...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi Everyone! I am getting ready to start on step four and I was looking for prayers to help get me in the right head space. I found this one and wanted to share it with everyone.GodHelp me to see myself as I truly am I know I won't always like what I see, so give me the courage to keep going Grant me understandi...

RLC · RLC

To My MIP Family, I Know all of you have seen the destruction and total devistation in Alabama and surrounding states from the tornadoes that moved across our state two days ago. Massive is the only word to describe the toll taken on human life, property, and infrastructure. But the spirit of those who...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Ok, so, I know this is not a good idea and I am working towards getting a new therapist, but I'd been seeing the same therapist my bf introduced me to, when we first started seeing him about my exabf's drinking. Back in January, I got into an argument on the phone about my ex's drinking (while drunk, not a go...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

My sister, myself and our kids were out shopping the other day getting ready for my mom's 60th bday party. We were buying helium balloons. I left to grab a few groceries, came back, and the lady had just finished filling up the last balloon. My sister whispered to me: "That balloon looks bad, it's...

DanH · DanH

Hi new friends! So I came across your forum today after posting on another site and someone suggest Al-Anon. Short history... My very good friend of 10+ years recently came out of the closet. I'm gay as well. In the past, probably six months, I've suggested he go to see a therapist because of his heavy dr...

Torit · Torit

From: tom To: tori Sent: Mon, May 2, 2011 9:47:10 AM Subject: RE: Literature Question Dear Tori, Greetings again from your World Service Office. Im writing back regarding your question (and my response) about the four Gs or five Gs, because Step Ten has taught me that when I find out Im wrong I need to...

Sisyphus · Sisyphus

I suppose that I am a newbie to most of the folks on here. My wife (sorry, I don't know the acronymns yet) finally admitted that she was hiding a severe drinking problem the day after Thanksgiving. So I suppose this has been going on for nearly five months. She is currently in therapy and attending mee...

B_L · B_L

Is there an Al-Anon type program for people dealing with somebody who suffers from an eating disorder? My alcoholic girlfriend also has bulimia, and if anything it has become more severe since she stopped drinking. I have been working on myself with Al-Anon principles, and that certainly can't hu...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I want to express my gratitude for this board, which of course, means thanking John and every single member. It's evident that we're all at varying stages of our recoveries; thus, we are able to help on another. Sometimes, I feel I've taking a giant leap forward, only to find myself back 10 steps! Bu...

John · John

Jozie · Jozie

Isn't it Funny How... All Winter I Can Sit around & Moan & Grown about how much I Wish it would be over, and then Spring Comes, the Floods Come, & I Wish that to be Over as Well, Then its Too Hot, Too Wet, Too Wndy, Too Chilly...and well I think I have covered every season in there... I am so Gratef...

Mixie · Mixie

Hello All, I've been lurking on your board for about a week or so, reading, learning, and trying to soak up all the new information. I have started several posts just to delete them. I honestly dont know what to say. I haven't been to a meeting yet. I planned to go last wednesday but chickened out. Im terri...

member922 · member922

So I am 40 years old and interested in starting college in the fall. I just received notice of an estimated grant I will get. I am so excited!!! This is something major to me. Not only will I get to learn and continue to grow, but I can put the focus back on me!!! It means more independence for me! Just what...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i posted here that we won the long battle blocking my girl's bio-dad from having any visitation at all with her dad, unless she initates it when she's older . that's what the judge and guardian-ad-litem said in court, anyway. when i received the final hearing's court summary ... it is the polar opposit...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi folks... lots of great stuff on the board these days, particularly around detachment, enabling, and people genuinely wondering what exactly we CAN do, in order to help our A's find the light, to some extent. The "Getting Them Sober" book series can help answer a lot of these questions...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

After the session with my AH I haven't spent anytime with him, but had gotten used to going over to see him one night a weekend and watching movies again. I have been fighting it all night. The kids are not here and I miss him, but not the manipulation and all that goes with an A. We had a pretty intense conver...

member922 · member922

So I enjoyed my Friday as planned, dinner and movie with a friend. And yes, The King's Speech was great. The abf told me to take Saturday to myself as he would be hanging out with his son and that it would be nice for he and I to spend Sunday night together. I was thrilled. Did my own thing, laying in the...

John · John

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pinkchip · pinkchip

I need feedback on this cuz I seriously don't know and find myself frequently lapsing into advice giving. I could stick "I suggest" in front of all my thoughts but it winds up being the same things much of the time...Advice. Well meaning most of the time, but still advice which is unsolici...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

Despite all the good intentions and al anon I feel hurt. My ah told me yesterday I am a coward deceitful cruel and a quitter His mother doesn't speak to me and gave me silent treatment with the look of death (quite a combination) so I know I am no coward no quitter and try to be respectful I didn't cause it can...

Otie · Otie

Hi everyone. Whenever I have posted a thread, a yellow tag appears. (that is what it looks like). I can't figure out what it is sopposed to mean. I don't see them by anyone else's thread. Please, what does that mean? Thanks. Curiously, Otie

Trudles57 · Trudles57

My addict son asked if he & his girlfriend could move into my apt which will be vacant soon. They have been working on staying "clean" & want somewhere where there is a controlled atmostphere w/ rules. This apt is above my garage on my property. I am not sure if this is a wise thing o...

thetalady · thetalady

Well, all hell broke loose four days ago ending in my AH leaving. Of course, he "didn't do anything wrong." It's all me. I accept responsibility for my actions - snooping around, accusing him without substantial facts, jealousy, distrust. We, as a couple, are in dire straights. The...

roonpugs · roonpugs

I had been to two meetings here in my town and was not able to attend today so I considered going to another mtg about an hr out of town and I DID! I drove very nervously the long drive, trying to find the new place, wondering what it would be like. Once there I found a lovely lady hanging the Al Anon signs up w...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I have heard a couple of share's in face to face meetings from veteran's talking about how they were just visiters in the first 6 months to a year of al-anon. I definately heard my perspective in those shares. Last Sunday I talked to my "temporary" sponser and asked if he wanted to work wit...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Whenever I go nuts, asking myself why my exabf did this, or said that...I think back to how I had red flags about his alcoholism from the beginning, yet I chose to stay. I am trying to focus on MY part in everything rather than his, because I can't change him. Anyway, whenever I feel puzzled by his behavior...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

can someone tell me how to get a sponsor. I am feeling so defeated right now. I just feel so sick, with a whirlwind of emotions. I swear I feel like my head is going to explode. right now, I don't even know why I am so freaking angry with my AH, I mean I generally know, but nothing inparticular. I swear, I jus...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone... Nice subject line eh? Ya, I'm thinking that's what I'll call my book. lol, just kidding. I'll try not to go into too much boring detail about my job and this particular incident.... but, I'm a talker so... prepare yourselves;) ok.. nevermind, I just typed a bunch and realized I can't go i...

clep · clep

With my A on his step two things are getting worse. I am doing the very best I can, and at times like this morning all I can do is shut my mouth, ignore him and go on with my day. I feel like hitting him lots of the time the last week. I spend time working on myself, determing what is right for me. My A gives me fi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to take this slowly & easy today! I have not be on MIP siince April 6th I believe & believe me I miss it & all of you! What I want to share today is that I am sooo tired again because of the anxiety & stress of going to CA next month. I have been trying to think of other things & have...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Have any of you guys have heard a poem that begins with "You Gottawanna" I heard someone mention it in my face to face meeting this morning and the parts that the person remembered were great. A few of the lines in it "You gottawanna go to meetings" and "You gottawanna work...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Yeah maybe a baby. My middle son, who is 21 and lives at home, just told me that his GF may be pregnant. They don't know yet. I am in shock!! I know he isn't ready to be a father nor is she ready to be a mother. Nor am I ready to be a grandmother. Not that that matters much, honeslty. I have been sworn to secrecy and...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

OK, I know that lies shouldn't come as a surprise to me. They really shouldn't. And, quite honestly, I've come to expect the Big Lies about infidelities and drinking. I guess I can almost understand the Big Lies: it's too painful for AH to tell the Big Truths and face himself and his actions. I just d...

Mattie · Mattie

My son and I are living far from our usual home right now and my exAH -- my son's dad -- has come to visit our son for ten days. He is staying with us. He is a binge drinker who goes for long periods sober or at least appearing so, so I knew the chances were good that he wouldn't be actively drunk while he was her...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I went to a face to face meeting yesterday and this reading was part of our topic, Letting go. I really got a lot out of it... In the past, joy was a rare visitor to many of us. Al-Anon recovery often leads us to find it more frequently. But instead of sitting back and enjoying these pleasant moments, we t...

Gailey · Gailey

My dil and gd have returned to Japan. It was really hard saying goodbye to them on Easter Sunday. They were with us for a month with my son there for the last 10 days of their stay. They all returned together which I was happy about. I decided since we no longer had a house full of people we would take a trip to o...

Courage2change · Courage2change

In early September, I started dating a guy who seemed to be a fairly nice guy. Seemed like he had spirituality, was working a program, had 15 years sober & clean, we both hit it right off and we had a wonderful time hanging out together. No physical. Just friendship. It was great. Then one night i...

atheos · atheos

I had a really bad week. I didn't find the guts to use the phone list when I needed to talk to someone. Today I almost didn't drag my butt out of bed to go to a meeting, but I am SO GLAD I did... I didn't talk at the meeting. I'm too new to have anything relevant to share about such a high-numbered step, and everyo...

gladysg · gladysg

So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there. I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I w...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I read the posts, see in the words, so much pain and it all seems to be the SAME pain I am so sorry that so many feel so much of the same pain. How as a mother, do I tell, no, WARN, my child about how to steer clear of this trap? For it IS a trap! They are clever, false, tricksy, have been manipulating for so long it i...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I found a copy of this at my home group last summer. Thought it would brighten everyones day. Enjoy! 1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. 2. Frequent attacks of smiling. 3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4. Frequent overwhelming episodes...

member922 · member922

I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...

Meadow · Meadow

I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...

lostinchicago · lostinchicago

Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...

bekind · bekind

My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...

Otie · Otie

About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...

Freya · Freya

I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...

Courage2change · Courage2change

Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...

Georgia · Georgia

what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	So here is how it went post-interview (Preview) I am really working on not allowing myself to be pulled into his stuff. Last night when I went to pick him up from the interview, I knew that he had been drinking because when I called to find out where he was, he kept asking me where I was. I knew when I parked across the street and watched a guy that ran...	youfoundme	8	840	May 3, 2011 by ythannah
	new to group! boyfriend binge drinks and uses pot frequently! (Preview) Hello Al-Anon, I've been dating this wonderful man for a year now. However, I've witnessed him "binge drink" about once a month or every other month. He had smoked pot very infrequently throughout the year, however, I used to just be so focused on whether or not he was an alcoholic. Marijua...	andream	8	1286	May 3, 2011 by andream
	recovering husband.....but i still lack the trust (Preview) My husband of 13 years is now almost 5 months sober. I am proud of him but because he betrayed my trust so much when he was deep into his disease, I still have my moments of insanity and dont trust him. I attend weekly alanon meeting but i am not finding my compasson and i still dont forgive him for what he put...	Dawny	14	1266	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Power of Prayer (Preview) A dear friend of mine just informed me that she lost her baby. She was six months pregnant. My heart aches for her and her husband. I cannot imagine the grief they are in. For those of you that believe in the power of prayer, would you please consider saying a quick prayer for my dear friend that is str...	tommyecat	5	960	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	His interview, not mine.... (Preview) My abf and I had a good weekend, we got a lot accomplished, he helped me dig up and plant a flower bed at our new place. We talked and had a good time. Today he has a job interview. He is not driving right now (guess why?) and so I went and picked him up to get him to the area of town he could walk from my work to th...	youfoundme	11	1088	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Needing to give what I don't have (Preview) How do I give what I clearly don't have? I just cannot communicate with my teen son, and when he talks to me, it is often as if I am reliving my time with my exAH. I am getting to a point where I think I may just need to let go and hope that someday maturity and humility (on both our parts) may bring us together aga...	Loupiness	6	930	May 3, 2011 by freeagain
	4th step prayers (Preview) Hi Everyone! I am getting ready to start on step four and I was looking for prayers to help get me in the right head space. I found this one and wanted to share it with everyone.GodHelp me to see myself as I truly am I know I won't always like what I see, so give me the courage to keep going Grant me understandi...	Aimee	3	3898	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Massive Destruction !! (Preview) To My MIP Family, I Know all of you have seen the destruction and total devistation in Alabama and surrounding states from the tornadoes that moved across our state two days ago. Massive is the only word to describe the toll taken on human life, property, and infrastructure. But the spirit of those who...	RLC	8	1097	May 3, 2011 by Karilynn
	therapist knows my exabf put a gun in his mouth (Preview) Ok, so, I know this is not a good idea and I am working towards getting a new therapist, but I'd been seeing the same therapist my bf introduced me to, when we first started seeing him about my exabf's drinking. Back in January, I got into an argument on the phone about my ex's drinking (while drunk, not a go...	drummerchick423	12	1313	May 2, 2011 by pinkchip
	origins of (learned) behaviour (Preview) My sister, myself and our kids were out shopping the other day getting ready for my mom's 60th bday party. We were buying helium balloons. I left to grab a few groceries, came back, and the lady had just finished filling up the last balloon. My sister whispered to me: "That balloon looks bad, it's...	danielle0516	3	1208	May 2, 2011 by clep
	My good friend has a problem, and won't admit it. (Preview) Hi new friends! So I came across your forum today after posting on another site and someone suggest Al-Anon. Short history... My very good friend of 10+ years recently came out of the closet. I'm gay as well. In the past, probably six months, I've suggested he go to see a therapist because of his heavy dr...	DanH	5	1088	May 2, 2011 by drummerchick423
	The 5 G's (Preview) From: tom To: tori Sent: Mon, May 2, 2011 9:47:10 AM Subject: RE: Literature Question Dear Tori, Greetings again from your World Service Office. Im writing back regarding your question (and my response) about the four Gs or five Gs, because Step Ten has taught me that when I find out Im wrong I need to...	Torit	2	4542	May 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Al Anon overall (Preview) I suppose that I am a newbie to most of the folks on here. My wife (sorry, I don't know the acronymns yet) finally admitted that she was hiding a severe drinking problem the day after Thanksgiving. So I suppose this has been going on for nearly five months. She is currently in therapy and attending mee...	Sisyphus	19	891	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Al-Anon for Eating Disorders? (Preview) Is there an Al-Anon type program for people dealing with somebody who suffers from an eating disorder? My alcoholic girlfriend also has bulimia, and if anything it has become more severe since she stopped drinking. I have been working on myself with Al-Anon principles, and that certainly can't hu...	B_L	9	3889	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Diamonds in the Rough (Preview) I want to express my gratitude for this board, which of course, means thanking John and every single member. It's evident that we're all at varying stages of our recoveries; thus, we are able to help on another. Sometimes, I feel I've taking a giant leap forward, only to find myself back 10 steps! Bu...	GailMichelle	3	810	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Response to "Thank you, Thank you!" post (Preview)	John	3	895	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Wish Me Luck !!! (Preview) Isn't it Funny How... All Winter I Can Sit around & Moan & Grown about how much I Wish it would be over, and then Spring Comes, the Floods Come, & I Wish that to be Over as Well, Then its Too Hot, Too Wet, Too Wndy, Too Chilly...and well I think I have covered every season in there... I am so Gratef...	Jozie	8	692	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here (Preview) Hello All, I've been lurking on your board for about a week or so, reading, learning, and trying to soak up all the new information. I have started several posts just to delete them. I honestly dont know what to say. I haven't been to a meeting yet. I planned to go last wednesday but chickened out. Im terri...	Mixie	11	739	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Moving toward going back to school (Preview) So I am 40 years old and interested in starting college in the fall. I just received notice of an estimated grant I will get. I am so excited!!! This is something major to me. Not only will I get to learn and continue to grow, but I can put the focus back on me!!! It means more independence for me! Just what...	member922	10	683	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	court reversal - we didn't win. bio-dad won visitation! (Preview) i posted here that we won the long battle blocking my girl's bio-dad from having any visitation at all with her dad, unless she initates it when she's older . that's what the judge and guardian-ad-litem said in court, anyway. when i received the final hearing's court summary ... it is the polar opposit...	purpleraven	7	948	May 2, 2011 by purpleraven
	Okay, so what CAN we do?? (Preview) Hi folks... lots of great stuff on the board these days, particularly around detachment, enabling, and people genuinely wondering what exactly we CAN do, in order to help our A's find the light, to some extent. The "Getting Them Sober" book series can help answer a lot of these questions...	canadianguy	7	4807	May 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Very hard night! (Preview) After the session with my AH I haven't spent anytime with him, but had gotten used to going over to see him one night a weekend and watching movies again. I have been fighting it all night. The kids are not here and I miss him, but not the manipulation and all that goes with an A. We had a pretty intense conver...	flopadopilus	8	921	May 1, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Proud, Proud, Proud! (Preview) So I enjoyed my Friday as planned, dinner and movie with a friend. And yes, The King's Speech was great. The abf told me to take Saturday to myself as he would be hanging out with his son and that it would be nice for he and I to spend Sunday night together. I was thrilled. Did my own thing, laying in the...	member922	5	796	May 1, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Welcomed home by my dogs... (video) (Preview) [video=]	John	5	718	May 1, 2011 by maresie
	What is the difference between advice and suggestion? (Preview) I need feedback on this cuz I seriously don't know and find myself frequently lapsing into advice giving. I could stick "I suggest" in front of all my thoughts but it winds up being the same things much of the time...Advice. Well meaning most of the time, but still advice which is unsolici...	pinkchip	21	6009	May 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	I am hurt (Preview) Despite all the good intentions and al anon I feel hurt. My ah told me yesterday I am a coward deceitful cruel and a quitter His mother doesn't speak to me and gave me silent treatment with the look of death (quite a combination) so I know I am no coward no quitter and try to be respectful I didn't cause it can...	Crazy Frog	8	1545	May 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	yellow tags?? (Preview) Hi everyone. Whenever I have posted a thread, a yellow tag appears. (that is what it looks like). I can't figure out what it is sopposed to mean. I don't see them by anyone else's thread. Please, what does that mean? Thanks. Curiously, Otie	Otie	4	605	May 1, 2011 by Otie
	Oh boy...what to do. (Preview) My addict son asked if he & his girlfriend could move into my apt which will be vacant soon. They have been working on staying "clean" & want somewhere where there is a controlled atmostphere w/ rules. This apt is above my garage on my property. I am not sure if this is a wise thing o...	Trudles57	4	1167	May 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	Step In the Right Direction (Preview) Well, all hell broke loose four days ago ending in my AH leaving. Of course, he "didn't do anything wrong." It's all me. I accept responsibility for my actions - snooping around, accusing him without substantial facts, jealousy, distrust. We, as a couple, are in dire straights. The...	thetalady	3	1065	Apr 30, 2011 by sunny123
	Try different groups! (Preview) I had been to two meetings here in my town and was not able to attend today so I considered going to another mtg about an hr out of town and I DID! I drove very nervously the long drive, trying to find the new place, wondering what it would be like. Once there I found a lovely lady hanging the Al Anon signs up w...	roonpugs	3	876	Apr 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	visiting al-anon (Preview) I have heard a couple of share's in face to face meetings from veteran's talking about how they were just visiters in the first 6 months to a year of al-anon. I definately heard my perspective in those shares. Last Sunday I talked to my "temporary" sponser and asked if he wanted to work wit...	DadtoCandE	8	841	Apr 30, 2011 by maryjane
	the scorpion and the frog (Preview) Whenever I go nuts, asking myself why my exabf did this, or said that...I think back to how I had red flags about his alcoholism from the beginning, yet I chose to stay. I am trying to focus on MY part in everything rather than his, because I can't change him. Anyway, whenever I feel puzzled by his behavior...	drummerchick423	3	862	Apr 30, 2011 by flopadopilus
	how do you get a sponsor? (Preview) can someone tell me how to get a sponsor. I am feeling so defeated right now. I just feel so sick, with a whirlwind of emotions. I swear I feel like my head is going to explode. right now, I don't even know why I am so freaking angry with my AH, I mean I generally know, but nothing inparticular. I swear, I jus...	Rachel262612	3	4154	Apr 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	standing up for yourself: a story about overcoming fear (Preview) Hi everyone... Nice subject line eh? Ya, I'm thinking that's what I'll call my book. lol, just kidding. I'll try not to go into too much boring detail about my job and this particular incident.... but, I'm a talker so... prepare yourselves;) ok.. nevermind, I just typed a bunch and realized I can't go i...	danielle0516	7	1316	Apr 30, 2011 by danielle0516
	Feeling overwhelmed this last few days (Preview) With my A on his step two things are getting worse. I am doing the very best I can, and at times like this morning all I can do is shut my mouth, ignore him and go on with my day. I feel like hitting him lots of the time the last week. I spend time working on myself, determing what is right for me. My A gives me fi...	clep	11	851	Apr 30, 2011 by danielle0516
	slowly & easy! (Preview) I am going to take this slowly & easy today! I have not be on MIP siince April 6th I believe & believe me I miss it & all of you! What I want to share today is that I am sooo tired again because of the anxiety & stress of going to CA next month. I have been trying to think of other things & have...	Hoot Nanny	2	900	Apr 30, 2011 by member922
	You Gottawanna (Preview) Have any of you guys have heard a poem that begins with "You Gottawanna" I heard someone mention it in my face to face meeting this morning and the parts that the person remembered were great. A few of the lines in it "You gottawanna go to meetings" and "You gottawanna work...	tommyecat	1	1496	Apr 30, 2011 by member922
	Maybe a baby! (Preview) Yeah maybe a baby. My middle son, who is 21 and lives at home, just told me that his GF may be pregnant. They don't know yet. I am in shock!! I know he isn't ready to be a father nor is she ready to be a mother. Nor am I ready to be a grandmother. Not that that matters much, honeslty. I have been sworn to secrecy and...	wildthang86	1	850	Apr 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	He lies (venting and bewildered) (Preview) OK, I know that lies shouldn't come as a surprise to me. They really shouldn't. And, quite honestly, I've come to expect the Big Lies about infidelities and drinking. I guess I can almost understand the Big Lies: it's too painful for AH to tell the Big Truths and face himself and his actions. I just d...	Very Very Tired	11	1099	Apr 30, 2011 by drummerchick423
	I can see recovery after all (Preview) My son and I are living far from our usual home right now and my exAH -- my son's dad -- has come to visit our son for ten days. He is staying with us. He is a binge drinker who goes for long periods sober or at least appearing so, so I knew the chances were good that he wouldn't be actively drunk while he was her...	Mattie	2	992	Apr 30, 2011 by GailMichelle
	C2C PP 202 July 20 (Preview) I went to a face to face meeting yesterday and this reading was part of our topic, Letting go. I really got a lot out of it... In the past, joy was a rare visitor to many of us. Al-Anon recovery often leads us to find it more frequently. But instead of sitting back and enjoying these pleasant moments, we t...	tommyecat	1	1253	Apr 30, 2011 by hotrod
	plans for the weekend (Preview) My dil and gd have returned to Japan. It was really hard saying goodbye to them on Easter Sunday. They were with us for a month with my son there for the last 10 days of their stay. They all returned together which I was happy about. I decided since we no longer had a house full of people we would take a trip to o...	Gailey	6	886	Apr 30, 2011 by wifeofalcoholic
	Angry, Hurt, Grieving, want to forgive but not ready (Preview) In early September, I started dating a guy who seemed to be a fairly nice guy. Seemed like he had spirituality, was working a program, had 15 years sober & clean, we both hit it right off and we had a wonderful time hanging out together. No physical. Just friendship. It was great. Then one night i...	Courage2change	7	1103	Apr 30, 2011 by drummerchick423
	"Keep coming back" - yes! (Preview) I had a really bad week. I didn't find the guts to use the phone list when I needed to talk to someone. Today I almost didn't drag my butt out of bed to go to a meeting, but I am SO GLAD I did... I didn't talk at the meeting. I'm too new to have anything relevant to share about such a high-numbered step, and everyo...	atheos	3	940	Apr 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	New focus (Preview) So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there. I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I w...	gladysg	2	826	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hey I am ME and that is a good thing! (Preview) I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in...	flopadopilus	3	772	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Our Love, Against Us (Preview) I read the posts, see in the words, so much pain and it all seems to be the SAME pain I am so sorry that so many feel so much of the same pain. How as a mother, do I tell, no, WARN, my child about how to steer clear of this trap? For it IS a trap! They are clever, false, tricksy, have been manipulating for so long it i...	likemyheart	5	1061	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening (Preview) I found a copy of this at my home group last summer. Thought it would brighten everyones day. Enjoy! 1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. 2. Frequent attacks of smiling. 3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4. Frequent overwhelming episodes...	tommyecat	6	3269	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	Weekend Again??? (Preview) I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...	member922	7	781	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Patience (Preview) I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...	Meadow	6	906	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New and trying to understand (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...	lostinchicago	5	669	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Some positive news... (an update - long) (Preview) So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...	Goodtillitsbad	2	805	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Tough love with daughter (Preview) My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...	bekind	3	1125	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Debriefing myself (Preview) About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...	Otie	7	1094	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I've gone over to the dark side... (Preview) I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...	Freya	14	1008	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	I need to vent! (Preview) I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...	Crazy Frog	6	1016	Apr 29, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I need help! (Preview) Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?	Courage2change	14	698	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Limits (Preview) As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...	maresie	3	860	Apr 29, 2011 by DreamXL
	I have a sponsor! I'm gonna do it! (Preview) Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...	Aimee	4	956	Apr 28, 2011 by clep
	something i am pondering over (Preview) what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...	Georgia	4	981	Apr 28, 2011 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.