Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sienna · sienna

My life has been completely devastated. I went to meetings, I set boundaries and stuck to them, I eventually asked him to move out if he continued to drink and drive. I have been doing the work on my own recovery for 7 years and was feeling good about myself and how well I was doing not enabling him any lon...

atheos · atheos

Everybody always shares positive things... even when it's something really bad, they're positive about it, and how the program has helped them with it. Right now, I am barely clinging to hope by my fingernails, and every day seems worse than the last. But I don't want to bring down the mood of the meeti...

oldergal · oldergal

What should you look for in a sponsor, and what makes a good sponsee? -- Edited by oldergal on Friday 6th of May 2011 10:33:47 PM

Loupiness · Loupiness

I feel good that I've had enough holidays since my exAH left now, that I am able to make them whatever I want. Spent the day with my younger two, brought sandwiches to my parents, went on a walk. ExAH sent me a text and dropped off a card. I accepted them as the nice gestures they were. Over all, it was sim...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mother's Day during the journey...My Mom is a memory today. She passed away years ago and was part of my recovery journey...She was one of 6 daughters of an alcoholic abusive life and carried the affects with her. One sister became alcoholic, one left the family to become a Nun, 3 others (including...

youfoundme · youfoundme

It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not...

Aimee · Aimee

I just finished step 5 with my sponsor yesterday and words can't describe how I feel, but I'll try . I keep thinking, maybe this has worked for some people but it isn't going to work for me. I've always been a very cynical person, the glass is always half-empty. I've been proven wrong ever single step so fa...

Fordsmom · Fordsmom

Hello all! I am new to the forum. I typed "pity party" and "al-anon" into my search engine and here I am. I am so terribly frustrated today. My husband sat on the couch all morning and didn't do a thing to help with the kids. I cleaned and took care of them and then he announced tha...

Otie · Otie

I saw Dick Van Dyke being interviewed a couple of times this week in the popular media. He spoke of sliding into "functional addiction" earlier into his career "about 10yrs. worth" He said that he was painfilly shy and began using alcohol to overcome this. He says that he was...

RLC · RLC

I am proud and almost have a feeling of guilt after read others post today. I was truly blessed and grateful to have a Mother (and Father) who raised me right, was always there for me, and led me in the right direction. For that I will always be thankful. My Mother left this world ten years ago to be in a bette...

Tracy · Tracy

My sober ABF rang this morning very uspset he said he could not believe how selfish I am being and never wants to talk to me again. he said I have been like a dad to the kids I want to go to the 18th. My son has also said its my prob and he wants my ex there. even my brother who doesnt want me with him said he shoul...

member922 · member922

Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful mother's day. It is a nice day here. My children gave me beautiful gifts, one homemade, one store bought. I was supposed to receive breakfast in bed lol, but one of them is still in bed herself . I appreciate my mom as well. She lives far away and I miss her very mu...

denver_co · denver_co

6 months ago I moved out of the house I lived in with my ABF. I am on the title, the mortgage. 5 months ago I stopped going to F2F alanon meetings. Many reasons for this, none of which matter really. My ABF and I were still 'seeing' each other all this time. Meanwhile, my boundaries are getting more and m...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I grew up in an alcoholic home. There was violence physical, emotional and verbal abuse. My father was the alcoholic, a daily drunk but always home by 4.30, dinner on the table by 5 PM and passed out by 6.30 in his easy chair, cigarette burning in hand with the local news station on. My dad and I got alo...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the meeting on Monday as I will be out of town that day. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Lyn..my husband is an addict. We are going on 10 years of marriage, but are facing a seperation due to his addiction. Something has to give. I can't take the decietfulness. Its like I'm living in his fantasy world where nothing is true. It seems t...

Tracy · Tracy

I rang my sober ex ABf once I carmed down. I told him I was experiencing a hard time looking at me he understood as he is in recovery. I told him it was not personal but I was not strong enough for him to come to my sons 18th. He said o.k. I said I will most prob contact you when I do step nine afet making amends...

member922 · member922

I have to come clean to somebody. I was drinking last night. I called the abf and screamed my head off at him about everything rotten that he ever said and did to me. Pretty pathetic. I did apologize today via email, but we basically agreed last night that our relationship is pretty much over. I have kn...

Aloha · Aloha

My mom is my bloodline qualifier in my life. To this very day, I still struggle with some part inside of me that just does NOT want to open up and forgive. When I look at it, I think I see a very scared, confused child that tried to understand what on earth was going on with Mom. My mom got sober when I was about t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have been really having a serene, good time living now. Had some thoughts today that just sorta all gathered together. Been probaly 9 years now since the ex AH and I still had a connection. 9 years of me not having a mate again. last time, when first husband died it was 18+ years. My Mother died in 2000. An...

Katy · Katy

Sure does, I have been focussing heavily on my hubbie again, and guess what? I got drunk, I isolated and I sat licking my wounds and I really don't like that place anymore, on my bad days I can say quite honestly well I have every right to feel like this, but thats my choice, progress right there, my awarene...

Tracy · Tracy

the topic at our meeting tonight was obsession. I shared honestly that I am obsessed by many things it was the drinkers drinking, then when he got sober it was his life. Lately we have not seen each other but I am still sick my mind hurts from all the obsessive thinking, I even obsess in my s;leep. This i...

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I have more than one alcoholic roommate. I have been so tangled up in reacting to them most of the time that I'm not able to be detached. Lately things have been a bit quieter and probably most of that is my state of mind. Lately in the cold light of day I can see an alcoholic for what they ar...

shannah · shannah

My crazy alcoholic ex owes me a substantial amount of money. As I had him sign papers, I sent him a credit collector, who was unsuccessful. Then a lawyer.He called me pretending he would pay me back a small amount each month that would take 5 years!!!!!!And that he refuses to go thoruhg my lawyer and star...

tommyecat · tommyecat

With Mother's Day right around the corner, I thought I would share laugh with the forum. Perhaps you would recognize some of these one liners. I certainly do. This was passed on to me years ago, I hope you enjoy it too. Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Things My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me T...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

My ex-abf told me I was crazy anytime I confronted him on his bad behavior. I really think he enjoyed rallying his family and friends around him convincing him that I was the sick crazy one after all and he is perfect. He could cheat,lie, drink, do drugs, etc. and in their eyes he's perfect but heaven forb...

Aimee · Aimee

I just found out this morning that my AH had an affair at the begining of our marriage. I already knew about two other one night stands that had happened during his relapse in the recient past but had no idea about this on going affair he had 11 years ago. I had been in a great place before this morning, the ha...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I decided for Mother's Day I will realize my Mother gave me what she could from where she came from and I love her for it. I will forgive her and let go of the not so good from my childhood and embrace the joys to let me off the hook as much as for her. I will love her through her dysfunctions and show her compass...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

hi,im back in my same a/d relationship agin ,i love him he is trying last few times he has come to visit he isnt tanked up on nothing,he says he is quitting it all for me and himself mostly,but he sounded messed up on ph.earlier im not answering his calls cause i refuse to put up with him tanked up on enything...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Oh dear - Daughter has just texted me: - "I can't talk on the phone at the mo but I've been really worried about (Partner). he doesn't sleep - he only eats when I make him and he's down all the time". (He did have a problem last year when he was sacked from his job. He has another very good job now but...

Georgia · Georgia

still fairly new to everything it seems - not just this board. 3 weeks of al anon meetings and i am already beginning to feel like a different person. a much happier, healthier person. i had "the" conversation with AH about 3 1/2 weeks ago - the one where i confronted him with his alcoholis...

Katy · Katy

I thought when I entered alanon I would just get it and that would be that, CURED! BUT? there is just soso much I need to get, I must confess I am still doing the same old same old and not expecting different results but, questioning myself, why am I still doing this when I know what the outcome will be, when I...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I received this book yesterday and am going to start it tonight. I had 2 people tell me it was awesome and wondered if anyone has read this and has anything to say. I also received Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. and wondered if these impacted anyone and if anyone has more books to add to my l...

schmeb · schmeb

I got a call yesterday the my precious 19 yr old daughter had Overdosed on Herion. Someone shot her up and dropped her off at the ER, lifeless. They just left her there!!! The Staff shot her with Narcon and brought her back to life. I didnt have a clue she was using Herion. She says it was her 2nd time...wh...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Guess I`am suppose to be looking for serenity but what I feel like doing is finding my 36 year old daughter and wacking her and telling her to wake up! Look what your doing to your little girl! I `am just so upset right now... and sick and tired of hearing about mommy smelling of beer early in the morning wh...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW... Is about All I Can say about the Trip... It was Very Short Liived But I Am forever Grateful to My HP for Seeing me thru the Ruff Waters, and Helping me some how Manage to Save My Sister....And Myself.... The Day Started out Pretty Peppy... We got Up, was Excited, but I had known deep down what would ha...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been seperated from my sober ABF for two weeks. We have had no contact for over a week. My focus is on me and how sick I am. hp is giving me lots of awareness to my part and it is very uncomfortable. My ABF and I have enough recovery to relaise that we are really unhealthy together. He is in early rec...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

The last few days I have wanted to talk to my ex AH and call and just be friends like before, but the last conversation we had really has me stumped and I am just deciding to let it be. I am not going to talk about it with him or try to figure it out even. He is unhealthy I am unhealthy, hence we can't have a healthy...

bluerose79 · bluerose79

im wrestling with this question: what is my part in the abusive way my a-bf treats me. i meet him with compassion and understanding. i try to set boundaries. i try to work my program and yet beyond my continued presence in the relationship, i cannot identify my part. is it enough to say i'm doing my part j...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I drank the punch. I fully submerged myself in the program. I asked someone to be my sponsor. And she said she would. I have been agonizing over this for weeks now. I hate making phone calls. But, I called and asked. She interrupted her daily activities to talk to me. That alone is amazing to me. In a...

Dawny · Dawny

hi everybody, ok, my dilema: a month ago i verbally left my husband. he is 5 months sober but i have so much to learn and so much recovery to do i was feeling like it would be best to part ways. but last thursday we were both over run with emotion we both agreed me love each other and want to work it out. it was lik...

andream · andream

A few days ago, I posted about my boyfriend who has been smoking pot and has a tendency to binge drink. We went out Monday to ride bikes, but I hadn't let go of some doubts and some restentment I had towards him. I had been resentful that he made plans to go on a bike ride with me, but left work early last Wed...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am coming closer and closer to seeing that I need to stop my addiction of HIM and get into me. Well no, I know I do, not just seeing it, believing it now. He just said he would go to AA because I told him I would not be around much longer if the drinking continues. He played the card of "I am ruining thi...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I know that I can start a meeting, I heard that it can happen, however I have no idea how to do it. The meetings in this area are so few and so far between. Its really sad. I am wondering why? Is this true for most areas? I think there are way more AA meetings than Alanon. I am really not sure what would wor...

mslouise · mslouise

So Mothers Day is supposed to be a celebration, a good day, right? Well, to me, its just another holiday and with holidays always come problems. Ive come to hate the holidays. My brother and sister-in-law are the ones in the family that can do no wrong, can say anything without consequences, and tak...

canadianguy · canadianguy

One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (comp...

jitsuka · jitsuka

The title says it all. She's been drinking tonight (she drinks every night). Things haven't been good really between us, I've tried talking to her to no avail. We've suggested going to Relate but it's not really happened. We have a 3 3/4yr old daughter. I feel like screaming. Based in the UK. Help me p...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((((Friends)))))))))))))))), I have been away for awhile but, now I am back yet again... You all have never left my heart or thoughts however, I have been taking that walk yet again. Got my son staightened out or should I say he got himself straightened out I just was here in the way I needed t...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Background ... my exAH was released from prison late February after 2 years and 6 months in an intense treament facility. I was scared, I resolved my fears, I was compassionate, I tried to accept his amends on a limited basis and was grateful to observe some signs of real recovery. Last two weeks each en...

littlemama · littlemama

I have been married for 10 yrs. My husband is awesome and I love him so much. We have 2 beautiful kids 9 & 8. With all my husbands great trates he is also an alcoholic and drug addict. Last week he told me that he needed help. I put him in the car and took him right to the er. He had been saying that he wanted to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

...I don't need you. Aloha Family...just felt like I should bring that on the board as my HP resurrected that experience in my mind as I was reading the ESHs. The title comes from a learning event long ago during the crazy to sane to crazy period and it came thru a good friend of my alcoholic wife at the ti...

roonpugs · roonpugs

I now have a temporary sponsor and I feel so blessed to have found such a wonderful person to guide me in my recovery! I am anxious to start and being surrounded by others that can relate and see the change in them gives me so much hope! (Just had to share some good news!) Thanks for reading! Hugs to al...

tiffera · tiffera

While I am technically new to dating an alcoholic (together 3 months), I am not new to codependency and destructive relationships. Even so, the 3 months seems like 3 years most days. I was in an emotionally and often sexually abusive relationship for 2.5 years which ended 4.5 years ago..which is ha...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Sometimes I'm selfish and I know it and can't stop. Ugh. My AH has been sober about 2 years now. He does a lot of service work, in addition to a meeting a day and meeting with his sponsor and sponsee. The long and short of it is that sometimes I feel irritated about all his AA committments. Tonight, I was...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am really working on not allowing myself to be pulled into his *stuff*. Last night when I went to pick him up from the interview, I knew that he had been drinking because when I called to find out where he was, he kept asking me where *I* was. I knew when I parked across the street and watched a guy that ran...

andream · andream

Hello Al-Anon, I've been dating this wonderful man for a year now. However, I've witnessed him "binge drink" about once a month or every other month. He had smoked pot very infrequently throughout the year, however, I used to just be so focused on whether or not he was an alcoholic. Marijua...

Dawny · Dawny

My husband of 13 years is now almost 5 months sober. I am proud of him but because he betrayed my trust so much when he was deep into his disease, I still have my moments of insanity and dont trust him. I attend weekly alanon meeting but i am not finding my compasson and i still dont forgive him for what he put...

tommyecat · tommyecat

A dear friend of mine just informed me that she lost her baby. She was six months pregnant. My heart aches for her and her husband. I cannot imagine the grief they are in. For those of you that believe in the power of prayer, would you please consider saying a quick prayer for my dear friend that is str...

youfoundme · youfoundme

My abf and I had a good weekend, we got a lot accomplished, he helped me dig up and plant a flower bed at our new place. We talked and had a good time. Today he has a job interview. He is not driving right now (guess why?) and so I went and picked him up to get him to the area of town he could walk from my work to th...

Loupiness · Loupiness

How do I give what I clearly don't have? I just cannot communicate with my teen son, and when he talks to me, it is often as if I am reliving my time with my exAH. I am getting to a point where I think I may just need to let go and hope that someday maturity and humility (on both our parts) may bring us together aga...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I should have thought twice about staying married to an A (Preview) My life has been completely devastated. I went to meetings, I set boundaries and stuck to them, I eventually asked him to move out if he continued to drink and drive. I have been doing the work on my own recovery for 7 years and was feeling good about myself and how well I was doing not enabling him any lon...	sienna	16	979	May 9, 2011 by member922
	I'm having trouble talking at meetings (Preview) Everybody always shares positive things... even when it's something really bad, they're positive about it, and how the program has helped them with it. Right now, I am barely clinging to hope by my fingernails, and every day seems worse than the last. But I don't want to bring down the mood of the meeti...	atheos	13	1104	May 9, 2011 by clep
	Sponsor/Sponsee relationships (Preview) What should you look for in a sponsor, and what makes a good sponsee? -- Edited by oldergal on Friday 6th of May 2011 10:33:47 PM	oldergal	4	1178	May 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	fighting me (Preview) I feel good that I've had enough holidays since my exAH left now, that I am able to make them whatever I want. Spent the day with my younger two, brought sandwiches to my parents, went on a walk. ExAH sent me a text and dropped off a card. I accepted them as the nice gestures they were. Over all, it was sim...	Loupiness	5	665	May 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Mother's Days (Preview) Mother's Day during the journey...My Mom is a memory today. She passed away years ago and was part of my recovery journey...She was one of 6 daughters of an alcoholic abusive life and carried the affects with her. One sister became alcoholic, one left the family to become a Nun, 3 others (including...	Jerry F	9	579	May 9, 2011 by Jozie
	Went to open AA last night (Preview) It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not...	youfoundme	5	726	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	There is a solution! (Preview) I just finished step 5 with my sponsor yesterday and words can't describe how I feel, but I'll try . I keep thinking, maybe this has worked for some people but it isn't going to work for me. I've always been a very cynical person, the glass is always half-empty. I've been proven wrong ever single step so fa...	Aimee	4	632	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	New and hosting my own pity party (Preview) Hello all! I am new to the forum. I typed "pity party" and "al-anon" into my search engine and here I am. I am so terribly frustrated today. My husband sat on the couch all morning and didn't do a thing to help with the kids. I cleaned and took care of them and then he announced tha...	Fordsmom	4	625	May 8, 2011 by roonpugs
	WHat About Dick Van Dyke!?? (Preview) I saw Dick Van Dyke being interviewed a couple of times this week in the popular media. He spoke of sliding into "functional addiction" earlier into his career "about 10yrs. worth" He said that he was painfilly shy and began using alcohol to overcome this. He says that he was...	Otie	7	5357	May 8, 2011 by maryjane
	Thanks Mom (Preview) I am proud and almost have a feeling of guilt after read others post today. I was truly blessed and grateful to have a Mother (and Father) who raised me right, was always there for me, and led me in the right direction. For that I will always be thankful. My Mother left this world ten years ago to be in a bette...	RLC	6	903	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	Carnt win (Preview) My sober ABF rang this morning very uspset he said he could not believe how selfish I am being and never wants to talk to me again. he said I have been like a dad to the kids I want to go to the 18th. My son has also said its my prob and he wants my ex there. even my brother who doesnt want me with him said he shoul...	Tracy	3	556	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	Happy Mother's Day (Preview) Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful mother's day. It is a nice day here. My children gave me beautiful gifts, one homemade, one store bought. I was supposed to receive breakfast in bed lol, but one of them is still in bed herself . I appreciate my mom as well. She lives far away and I miss her very mu...	member922	3	511	May 8, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I feel like I'm drowning (Preview) 6 months ago I moved out of the house I lived in with my ABF. I am on the title, the mortgage. 5 months ago I stopped going to F2F alanon meetings. Many reasons for this, none of which matter really. My ABF and I were still 'seeing' each other all this time. Meanwhile, my boundaries are getting more and m...	denver_co	8	897	May 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Forgiveness for my mother on Mother's Day (Preview) I grew up in an alcoholic home. There was violence physical, emotional and verbal abuse. My father was the alcoholic, a daily drunk but always home by 4.30, dinner on the table by 5 PM and passed out by 6.30 in his easy chair, cigarette burning in hand with the local news station on. My dad and I got alo...	tommyecat	5	619	May 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting (Preview) I am unable to chair the meeting on Monday as I will be out of town that day. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks	shimo	0	369	May 8, 2011 by shimo
	new to boards (Preview) Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Lyn..my husband is an addict. We are going on 10 years of marriage, but are facing a seperation due to his addiction. Something has to give. I can't take the decietfulness. Its like I'm living in his fantasy world where nothing is true. It seems t...	lyn46	10	541	May 7, 2011 by lyn46
	hes not coming (Preview) I rang my sober ex ABf once I carmed down. I told him I was experiencing a hard time looking at me he understood as he is in recovery. I told him it was not personal but I was not strong enough for him to come to my sons 18th. He said o.k. I said I will most prob contact you when I do step nine afet making amends...	Tracy	2	534	May 7, 2011 by Otie
	Not so proud today (Preview) I have to come clean to somebody. I was drinking last night. I called the abf and screamed my head off at him about everything rotten that he ever said and did to me. Pretty pathetic. I did apologize today via email, but we basically agreed last night that our relationship is pretty much over. I have kn...	member922	18	1415	May 7, 2011 by atheos
	Mother's Day - tough one for me (Preview) My mom is my bloodline qualifier in my life. To this very day, I still struggle with some part inside of me that just does NOT want to open up and forgive. When I look at it, I think I see a very scared, confused child that tried to understand what on earth was going on with Mom. My mom got sober when I was about t...	Aloha	4	720	May 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Protecting myself (Preview) I have been really having a serene, good time living now. Had some thoughts today that just sorta all gathered together. Been probaly 9 years now since the ex AH and I still had a connection. 9 years of me not having a mate again. last time, when first husband died it was 18+ years. My Mother died in 2000. An...	Debilyn	6	878	May 7, 2011 by Otie
	What we focus on becomes our reality! (Preview) Sure does, I have been focussing heavily on my hubbie again, and guess what? I got drunk, I isolated and I sat licking my wounds and I really don't like that place anymore, on my bad days I can say quite honestly well I have every right to feel like this, but thats my choice, progress right there, my awarene...	Katy	9	1041	May 6, 2011 by Debilyn
	obsession (Preview) the topic at our meeting tonight was obsession. I shared honestly that I am obsessed by many things it was the drinkers drinking, then when he got sober it was his life. Lately we have not seen each other but I am still sick my mind hurts from all the obsessive thinking, I even obsess in my s;leep. This i...	Tracy	3	710	May 6, 2011 by Jerry F
	seeing the alcoholic in a new light (Preview) As many of you know I have more than one alcoholic roommate. I have been so tangled up in reacting to them most of the time that I'm not able to be detached. Lately things have been a bit quieter and probably most of that is my state of mind. Lately in the cold light of day I can see an alcoholic for what they ar...	maresie	7	1118	May 6, 2011 by maresie
	My crazy ex is using the 12 steps against me -Help! (Preview) My crazy alcoholic ex owes me a substantial amount of money. As I had him sign papers, I sent him a credit collector, who was unsuccessful. Then a lawyer.He called me pretending he would pay me back a small amount each month that would take 5 years!!!!!!And that he refuses to go thoruhg my lawyer and star...	shannah	12	939	May 6, 2011 by shannah
	Oh Mommy Dearest (Preview) With Mother's Day right around the corner, I thought I would share laugh with the forum. Perhaps you would recognize some of these one liners. I certainly do. This was passed on to me years ago, I hope you enjoy it too. Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Things My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me T...	tommyecat	6	807	May 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Why do they make us out to be the crazy one and the one to blame for EVERYTHING? (Preview) My ex-abf told me I was crazy anytime I confronted him on his bad behavior. I really think he enjoyed rallying his family and friends around him convincing him that I was the sick crazy one after all and he is perfect. He could cheat,lie, drink, do drugs, etc. and in their eyes he's perfect but heaven forb...	Stillalive2dream	11	1093	May 6, 2011 by maryjane
	Getting over the past? (Preview) I just found out this morning that my AH had an affair at the begining of our marriage. I already knew about two other one night stands that had happened during his relapse in the recient past but had no idea about this on going affair he had 11 years ago. I had been in a great place before this morning, the ha...	Aimee	10	833	May 6, 2011 by Jerry F
	For Mother's Day (Preview) I decided for Mother's Day I will realize my Mother gave me what she could from where she came from and I love her for it. I will forgive her and let go of the not so good from my childhood and embrace the joys to let me off the hook as much as for her. I will love her through her dysfunctions and show her compass...	flopadopilus	2	607	May 6, 2011 by nmike
	completely getting confused and i dont know (Preview) hi,im back in my same a/d relationship agin ,i love him he is trying last few times he has come to visit he isnt tanked up on nothing,he says he is quitting it all for me and himself mostly,but he sounded messed up on ph.earlier im not answering his calls cause i refuse to put up with him tanked up on enything...	pattyann1963	5	775	May 6, 2011 by pattyann1963
	What On Earth Do I Say To Daughter? (Preview) Oh dear - Daughter has just texted me: - "I can't talk on the phone at the mo but I've been really worried about (Partner). he doesn't sleep - he only eats when I make him and he's down all the time". (He did have a problem last year when he was sacked from his job. He has another very good job now but...	Tattyhead	10	1099	May 6, 2011 by Tattyhead
	do you acknowledge the behavior? (Preview) still fairly new to everything it seems - not just this board. 3 weeks of al anon meetings and i am already beginning to feel like a different person. a much happier, healthier person. i had "the" conversation with AH about 3 1/2 weeks ago - the one where i confronted him with his alcoholis...	Georgia	12	1151	May 6, 2011 by kitty
	questioning my habits? (Preview) I thought when I entered alanon I would just get it and that would be that, CURED! BUT? there is just soso much I need to get, I must confess I am still doing the same old same old and not expecting different results but, questioning myself, why am I still doing this when I know what the outcome will be, when I...	Katy	8	853	May 6, 2011 by Katy
	The 12 Steps for Adult Children book by ? (Preview) I received this book yesterday and am going to start it tonight. I had 2 people tell me it was awesome and wondered if anyone has read this and has anything to say. I also received Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. and wondered if these impacted anyone and if anyone has more books to add to my l...	flopadopilus	6	3246	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	Please help me Deal with this!!!! (Preview) I got a call yesterday the my precious 19 yr old daughter had Overdosed on Herion. Someone shot her up and dropped her off at the ER, lifeless. They just left her there!!! The Staff shot her with Narcon and brought her back to life. I didnt have a clue she was using Herion. She says it was her 2nd time...wh...	schmeb	10	923	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	So Mad Right Now.. (Preview) Guess I`am suppose to be looking for serenity but what I feel like doing is finding my 36 year old daughter and wacking her and telling her to wake up! Look what your doing to your little girl! I `am just so upset right now... and sick and tired of hearing about mommy smelling of beer early in the morning wh...	Samsgram	9	864	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	The "Short" Trip... (Preview) WOW... Is about All I Can say about the Trip... It was Very Short Liived But I Am forever Grateful to My HP for Seeing me thru the Ruff Waters, and Helping me some how Manage to Save My Sister....And Myself.... The Day Started out Pretty Peppy... We got Up, was Excited, but I had known deep down what would ha...	Jozie	3	714	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	my behaviors (Preview) I have been seperated from my sober ABF for two weeks. We have had no contact for over a week. My focus is on me and how sick I am. hp is giving me lots of awareness to my part and it is very uncomfortable. My ABF and I have enough recovery to relaise that we are really unhealthy together. He is in early rec...	Tracy	4	1163	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	Could I be finally learning tough love??? (Preview) The last few days I have wanted to talk to my ex AH and call and just be friends like before, but the last conversation we had really has me stumped and I am just deciding to let it be. I am not going to talk about it with him or try to figure it out even. He is unhealthy I am unhealthy, hence we can't have a healthy...	flopadopilus	5	806	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	What's My Part- is it just that I stay?? relationships leaving (Preview) im wrestling with this question: what is my part in the abusive way my a-bf treats me. i meet him with compassion and understanding. i try to set boundaries. i try to work my program and yet beyond my continued presence in the relationship, i cannot identify my part. is it enough to say i'm doing my part j...	bluerose79	13	10951	May 5, 2011 by Jerry F
	I took the leap (Preview) I drank the punch. I fully submerged myself in the program. I asked someone to be my sponsor. And she said she would. I have been agonizing over this for weeks now. I hate making phone calls. But, I called and asked. She interrupted her daily activities to talk to me. That alone is amazing to me. In a...	Very Very Tired	10	735	May 5, 2011 by laura dene
	to stay or to go? (Preview) hi everybody, ok, my dilema: a month ago i verbally left my husband. he is 5 months sober but i have so much to learn and so much recovery to do i was feeling like it would be best to part ways. but last thursday we were both over run with emotion we both agreed me love each other and want to work it out. it was lik...	Dawny	7	840	May 5, 2011 by laura dene
	I got dumped! (Preview) A few days ago, I posted about my boyfriend who has been smoking pot and has a tendency to binge drink. We went out Monday to ride bikes, but I hadn't let go of some doubts and some restentment I had towards him. I had been resentful that he made plans to go on a bike ride with me, but left work early last Wed...	andream	7	1038	May 5, 2011 by pinkchip
	Closer.... (Preview) I am coming closer and closer to seeing that I need to stop my addiction of HIM and get into me. Well no, I know I do, not just seeing it, believing it now. He just said he would go to AA because I told him I would not be around much longer if the drinking continues. He played the card of "I am ruining thi...	youfoundme	3	702	May 5, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Meetings so few and far between :( (Preview) I know that I can start a meeting, I heard that it can happen, however I have no idea how to do it. The meetings in this area are so few and so far between. Its really sad. I am wondering why? Is this true for most areas? I think there are way more AA meetings than Alanon. I am really not sure what would wor...	youfoundme	10	871	May 5, 2011 by youfoundme
	Mother's Day - just another holiday??? (Preview) So Mothers Day is supposed to be a celebration, a good day, right? Well, to me, its just another holiday and with holidays always come problems. Ive come to hate the holidays. My brother and sister-in-law are the ones in the family that can do no wrong, can say anything without consequences, and tak...	mslouise	4	1899	May 5, 2011 by mslouise
	Toxic Love (Preview) One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (comp...	canadianguy	10	1030	May 5, 2011 by tommyecat
	LOL. Partner just told me she wants us to have a trial separation. Feel like screaming. (Preview) The title says it all. She's been drinking tonight (she drinks every night). Things haven't been good really between us, I've tried talking to her to no avail. We've suggested going to Relate but it's not really happened. We have a 3 3/4yr old daughter. I feel like screaming. Based in the UK. Help me p...	jitsuka	5	1050	May 5, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hello All I have missed you all very much!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((((Friends)))))))))))))))), I have been away for awhile but, now I am back yet again... You all have never left my heart or thoughts however, I have been taking that walk yet again. Got my son staightened out or should I say he got himself straightened out I just was here in the way I needed t...	Andrea12	11	906	May 4, 2011 by Andrea12
	I do not know how I feel (Preview) Background ... my exAH was released from prison late February after 2 years and 6 months in an intense treament facility. I was scared, I resolved my fears, I was compassionate, I tried to accept his amends on a limited basis and was grateful to observe some signs of real recovery. Last two weeks each en...	Jennifer	11	1009	May 4, 2011 by Jennifer
	Don't know how much more I can take (Preview) I have been married for 10 yrs. My husband is awesome and I love him so much. We have 2 beautiful kids 9 & 8. With all my husbands great trates he is also an alcoholic and drug addict. Last week he told me that he needed help. I put him in the car and took him right to the er. He had been saying that he wanted to...	littlemama	7	812	May 4, 2011 by canadianguy
	I love you...I like having your here...but (Preview) ...I don't need you. Aloha Family...just felt like I should bring that on the board as my HP resurrected that experience in my mind as I was reading the ESHs. The title comes from a learning event long ago during the crazy to sane to crazy period and it came thru a good friend of my alcoholic wife at the ti...	Jerry F	8	836	May 4, 2011 by Aloha
	Feeling so BLESSED! (Preview) I now have a temporary sponsor and I feel so blessed to have found such a wonderful person to guide me in my recovery! I am anxious to start and being surrounded by others that can relate and see the change in them gives me so much hope! (Just had to share some good news!) Thanks for reading! Hugs to al...	roonpugs	4	720	May 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Need some blunt, honest feedback. Preparing for bf return from treatment (Preview) While I am technically new to dating an alcoholic (together 3 months), I am not new to codependency and destructive relationships. Even so, the 3 months seems like 3 years most days. I was in an emotionally and often sexually abusive relationship for 2.5 years which ended 4.5 years ago..which is ha...	tiffera	11	1192	May 4, 2011 by Jerry F
	Feeling selfish (Preview) Sometimes I'm selfish and I know it and can't stop. Ugh. My AH has been sober about 2 years now. He does a lot of service work, in addition to a meeting a day and meeting with his sponsor and sponsee. The long and short of it is that sometimes I feel irritated about all his AA committments. Tonight, I was...	White Rabbit	13	1122	May 3, 2011 by Chelle3
	So here is how it went post-interview (Preview) I am really working on not allowing myself to be pulled into his stuff. Last night when I went to pick him up from the interview, I knew that he had been drinking because when I called to find out where he was, he kept asking me where I was. I knew when I parked across the street and watched a guy that ran...	youfoundme	8	928	May 3, 2011 by ythannah
	new to group! boyfriend binge drinks and uses pot frequently! (Preview) Hello Al-Anon, I've been dating this wonderful man for a year now. However, I've witnessed him "binge drink" about once a month or every other month. He had smoked pot very infrequently throughout the year, however, I used to just be so focused on whether or not he was an alcoholic. Marijua...	andream	8	1368	May 3, 2011 by andream
	recovering husband.....but i still lack the trust (Preview) My husband of 13 years is now almost 5 months sober. I am proud of him but because he betrayed my trust so much when he was deep into his disease, I still have my moments of insanity and dont trust him. I attend weekly alanon meeting but i am not finding my compasson and i still dont forgive him for what he put...	Dawny	14	1358	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Power of Prayer (Preview) A dear friend of mine just informed me that she lost her baby. She was six months pregnant. My heart aches for her and her husband. I cannot imagine the grief they are in. For those of you that believe in the power of prayer, would you please consider saying a quick prayer for my dear friend that is str...	tommyecat	5	1039	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	His interview, not mine.... (Preview) My abf and I had a good weekend, we got a lot accomplished, he helped me dig up and plant a flower bed at our new place. We talked and had a good time. Today he has a job interview. He is not driving right now (guess why?) and so I went and picked him up to get him to the area of town he could walk from my work to th...	youfoundme	11	1171	May 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Needing to give what I don't have (Preview) How do I give what I clearly don't have? I just cannot communicate with my teen son, and when he talks to me, it is often as if I am reliving my time with my exAH. I am getting to a point where I think I may just need to let go and hope that someday maturity and humility (on both our parts) may bring us together aga...	Loupiness	6	1013	May 3, 2011 by freeagain
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.