new to boards - Al-Anon Family Group

lyn46 · Member

new to boards

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

Good morning Lyn and welcome to our family, it's great to have you here, as you know already it's agame of tug of war with addiction, it needs enablers to keep it going, troubel thing is we tend not to know thats what it's doing until we are knee deep in it, the good news is, it doesn't have to be that way, we just have to learn new ways to address it, and then as you will find we find new tools to keep working at it.

I am in the Uk, so it's quiet now, the others are in their zzzzzzzzsheds, but? they will be along soon, and be very glad to have you on board, take care and keep coming back.

katy

x

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Lyn,

I am so glad you have found MIP. This is a great forum to share and find others who have been through the same kinds of problems as you. Stick around, read old posts, and consider, if you will, attending a face to face alanon meeting. That really made a big difference for me when I first got started.

Please keep coming back.
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
TC

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Lyn, welcome to MIP! You're off to a good start by already realizing you can't change him, the only one you can change is you. Alanon and this board are good places to learn how to do that. There's tons of information and ESH here. Also some really wonderful people. And no need to apologize for what you call your mini-rant. Heck, that's nothing compared to some of the rants I've posted here, lol! Besides, that's one of the things we're here for. Feel free to rant anytime. Keep coming back!

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Lyn

I'm glad you found this message board. As you read through the posts, you'll find that we are all at varying stages of our understanding of alcoholism/addiction. This is a great place to rant when you feel the need, no apoligies ever needed. It's a great place to share your Experience, Strength, & Hope, often written as ESH to shorten things up a bit.

I'll share a little bit of my experience that is giving me a lot of hope these days: 2 months ago, I began attending Al-Anon meetings. I divorced after 36 years of marriage to an alcoholic. I had gone to counseling for years, about 17 years off and on. It helped. I resisted attending meetings as if they were the plague. I thought they were too "cultish" for me. I didn't know what I was talking about. Meetings have the power to show one that there is hope, no matter if you decide to stay with the addicted person or leave.

Again, welcome to the board.

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

I left alanon for a bit (thought I didn't need a group like this) and am now back. I am going to an open AA meeting tonight because the alanon meetings are very few in my area. So tonight is my first night going to an AA meeting (its an open meeting), from what I have heard here at MIP though, its better than no meeting and I did find an alanon meeting on Saturdays that I can get to, so tomorrow I am going to that. It is hard to make myself go, and I too did therapy for years and never felt better than when I began to come here and go to alanon meetings. I told my bf who is the addict/alcoholic qualifier in my life that I was going tonight and after a talk we had yesterday, he said he wanted to go to meetings again. He said he is tired of feeling crappy every day... I will not expect him to go, if he goes, he goes. If not, this is for me, I want to feel better and live my life more fully... There is hope and we can all recover. Take care! Welcome here.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I did not read any ranting there...only stating facts. I think you go so long accepting an addict's behaviors that you feel like you are complaining when you talk about them when actually you are not. It sounds like you are drawing some healthy boundaries. Of course changing anything after 10 years is not going to be easy.

maryjane · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to the board where you will feel a lot in common with the other posters. Don't ever be afraid of posting anything. Most of us have experienced everything about living with an alcoholic/addict. Just living with crazy people can make you feel crazy yourself. I found that I lost who I was. I didn't have any favorites anymore. Nothing mattered. The only time I could live happily is when I was away from him. But then I would worry the whole time, and then I would stop being happy again. You have made some very healthy choices so far and it looks like you are well aware of what is true. Really, the sky is blue, clouds are white and the grass is green even though the alkie/addict may say it is not.

Freya · Veteran Member

Hi Lyn46, welcome to the board. I have found support and encouragement here each time I have posted, and am so grateful for this board and the people who share their experience, strength and hope. Change is hard, but I've learned we don't have to do it alone. I was nervous of posting at first, and still am, but have found that each time I've written out how I'm feeling and have shared it, I've been able to take another step forward, with support and encouragement from people here.
Freya

lyn46 · Member

Hi everyone,
Thank you for your replies. I'm so glad I found this place. I look forward to getting to know you all. God bless you. ~Lyn

lyn46 · Member

P.S.....to Pinkchip, I was thinking the same thing. But I am just taking babysteps. Start the ball rolling by looking for a place, hoping that one step will lead to the next until mission accomplished. At least thats the plan. We'll see how it works.

to maryjane, I asked my counselor what we would talk about when we no longer talk about him...she smiled and said, "nice things". Holding on to that thought, sounds good to me.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.