The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been seperated from my sober ABF for two weeks. We have had no contact for over a week. My focus is on me and how sick I am. hp is giving me lots of awareness to my part and it is very uncomfortable. My ABF and I have enough recovery to relaise that we are really unhealthy together. He is in early recovery and has to focus on his sobriety and developing his life. I can see now I still had one eye on him and my expectations were very unrealistic.
Anyway I have been off work with stress and depression. went back couple of days agao starting to feel better focusing on my recovery and live although I am greiving I am handing the outcomes over to HP.
In work my manager is a control freak/perfectionist and puts lots of demends on me. My collegue has no passion for her work and I have carried both of us for a couple of years. I can not no more. I am realsieng how I try to control in work to, people please, am over responsible so even though ABF has gone my behaviors continue I just can not blame him anymore. Guess its time to get to work on me. will i ever change just keep praying I am on my knees with these behaviors.
Wow Tracy, great awareness of self and even how you are releasing things you see as character defects. It sounds like you are working your program very well. I relate to you and could have written this exact share myself. I am still noticing how sick I am after being on my own without my A for sometime and I still obsess about him and his stuff. Thank you so much I needed this reminder that I am again trying to be my HP and I have to Let Go and Let God once again and not take him back! Good job!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
I learned that we all start at step one and after working on that for a while and myself I also arrived like you that I could drop the alchohol from withinthe step and still admit powerlessness. I learned like you to see my self in all of my relationships and endeavors and self was what I had to change because I was the problem. An early member told me that he was told that there was only one thing he had to change about himself in recovery and that was "everything". That was a blow to the gut and still I understood it. I had many years of habits that didn't work that needed to be discovered, new ideas to accept and practice and continued practice and adjustment over time should I survive. "We are not perfect" keeps me coming back that that keeps me getting better...progress.
Find behaviors that result in good consequences for yourself and do those. Or as my sponsor taught me..."Choose the consequence you want first and then do the action to get it." For a Winery manager he was really sober thinking. (((hugs)))
