Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bethlibart · bethlibart

I am also brand new to this forum/website (just discovered it today). I am an alcoholic, 12 years sober, one day at a time. I am finding that I definitely NEED Al-Anon as I am DEFINITELY am an enabler. I enabled my ex-husband for 25 years and when I got some help and decided not to do it any more, he ended th...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I can't seem to get past the feelings of anger towards my wife and this situation. I can't seem to get past the lying. I'm really trying but I just can't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my mind. At my meeting this week, a woman said something amazing about how we feel. She said the program has taugh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family...just got thru reading Annie M's post on the Alcoholic taking her Xanax meds and am in the process again of reading the Publication Al-Anon Faces Alcooholism which is very very informative and supportive of awareness for the spouse, relative or friends and associates of an alcoh...

Pushka · Pushka

I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end. If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him. Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!! Come October I am free, it's all on him! The infamous offer has arrived and I am so r...

Pauly · Pauly

Hello all: I have been married for 11 years and have been with my wife since we were seniors in high school. For the past five years she has been drinking and it has gotten progressively worse. She has been to rehab 4 times( both inpatient and out patient) and is now in an outpatient program. So much has bee...

zpo · zpo

My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance. Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see? Nothing I say is working! -- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

My husband hasn't had a drink in 18 years, but a couple of days ago he confessed that for a year he's been stealing my prescription Xanax. I have an anxiety disorder, but I take Xanax so rarely that I hadn't noticed that the bottle was almost empty. The good thing is that he's started going to meetings a...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Married 8 years ago, went into marriage knowing my AH was moody and a bit irriesponsible, he was also funny, loving and devoted. It wasn't until our 6th year of marriage that I found out he was an addict to several things. He got counseling, started AA, things seemed to be better. He relapsed since, reco...

clep · clep

Today I went to the bank and moved my bank account to the branch I usually deal with. I changed my pin again, got a new card etc. I told my A that after his cheque I put in my bank today he has to get his own bank account and use that. He uses my account as my cash back limit is high. I let him know that I have high li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

With only a few minutes to be on here, I just want to say THANKS to all of you who CARE! I am so grateful to those who are almost always there to pick me up when I fall down & that is sometimes very HARD! I have been spending most of my time on here trying to get something going on this computer; I am still usin...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I know nobody can TELL me what to say.... but I'd sure like opinoins, suggestions and past experiences about how to respond to a statement made by ABF. I received a very long letter from him today. A little good. A little bad. Of course lots of promises. But I need help with one particular thing.... T...

rara avis · rara avis

For those of you in the know, I'm wondering if an A or Recovering A's self focus and blame ever ends? Or goes in cycles, or ?? What's helped w/dealing with it also would be most helpful! [ Never mind my OWN self pity and blame ;) ha! ] My BF is in recovery - 7 yrs - but his sole topic of conversation is himself,...

HarleyRyder · HarleyRyder

Well I have been informed by my AW that she is getting out of the facility she is in on the 22nd. As stated earlier I work out of state and she is going to her mothers house for a couple of weeks. The problem is that the counselor and I agree that she is not ready and needs to continue in a extended care facility...

Pushka · Pushka

I heard from my "I hate alanon" friend .. lol .. she actually called, I was hesitant to take the call at first. We had a really good conversation. Something she heard in my voice was even though things are not totally right at the moment, my husband and I are dealing with a couple extra things...

KLotus · KLotus

Hello again everyone! I have a couple of questions: I am working on trying to set boundaries with my alcoholic husband, particularly regarding the way he talks to me so unkindly. A counselor challenged me to do this, and said that there need to be consequences as a result. However, as in the past, my h...

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

Hi, everybody.. My husband of 22 years has been sober for 18 years. But lately, although I fully believe him that he hasn't taken a drink, his behavior is unpredictable. I discovered that he is still in the habit of lying. I found out that on several occasions he went to dinner with a female friend and...

rara avis · rara avis

Hello Alanon forum goers, First off, thank you VERY much Al Anon and folks for existing, the Alanon literature has been very helpful and I have cruised various forums for info, ideas, etc...I appreciate the anonymous help!! It is so needed. Excuse the long story, but for those who can read the whol...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

We had topic day at our meeting and the topic was anger. Very appropriate. One of the member talked about his anger and at one point of his sharing he said i always look at my part. it struck a nerve in me, big time. 2 weeks ago we told our teenage daughter we were separating, it was probably the most difficu...

Lyne · Lyne

OK so here we are again. A is so upset at my distance and changed mode that of course now she will go for professional help, at least with a CASAC/LCSW. Do you know how many times we have been at this point? Do you know how many times I believed her? I have no faith in her to accomplish dealing with her mult...

Pushka · Pushka

This whole thing with the DUI just stirs up a whole lot of anger for me. I have a right to be angry. I have to remind myself healthy people would be angry. It's what and how I choose to handle my anger that separates me from where I was a year ago and where I am now. Filter from brain to mouth first, stop and t...

lovecats · lovecats

hello. i'm new to this forum, and pretty new to al-anon--i've been going to meetings for about 5 months now and recently started working with a sponsor. i've been trying to use program tools to get through the last couple of days, but i'm so anxious and overcome with worry right now. my husband has had bo...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm amazed. Amazed at myself for my recent attitude. I've talked to ABF several times the past few days. The first conversation involved the "I'm Sorry"...my response... "thank you" - "I've signed up for a program in jail".... my response.. "hope you get...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

I'm very new to Al-Anon and have just started going to meetings and working the steps. What I'm realizing right now is how angry I am at my AH, angry for all the verbal abuse, angry with the fact that his drinking has put us in debt, angry because I have no friends because I've been so isolated, angry about...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I'm in a class for work and will not be available to chair this morning's meeting. I'm sooo sorry for the late notice and hope someone can step in for me! hugs, bg

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So I am feeling guilty for living my life...isn't that insane!!!!! My ex keeps calling and texting and emailing, which is somewhat funny because he never did that when we were together! I can't shake the feeling of guilt though...not just because I met someone else and Im having a good time just laughi...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi y'all! This is my first post in this wonderful forum. I have been reading posts almost every day for a couple weeks now and have found so much wisdom and strength from reading here. I feel like I already know some of you and already have so much appreciation for your honesty, humor and support dealing w...

odaat · odaat

Looking back I have been on and off this board for many years... I know what I need to do and don't understand why I just can't do it. My AH has made it crystal clear that he has no intention of giving up his drinking and claims he does not have a problem. According to him people don't want to do anything wit...

canadianguy · canadianguy

A number of post-ers ask questions from the perspective of an ACOA, and I must humbly admit that I have very little knowledge around ACOA-specific issues. I asked the question of Toby Rice Drews, and here is her response, that I thought I would pass along, for those looking at good reading material in...

Nervousguy · Nervousguy

Maybe I need more reassurance than advice but I have been stressing. Background about me I've been single for 4 years and Celibate for almost 2, because I've been waiting for the right girl. I met her 2 weeks ago and it was the most amazing feeling Ive ever felt in my life. True Love at First Sight. We had 2 d...

Pushka · Pushka

K, love your avatar picture and wanted to share my sunflower picture from last year. We had giant sunflowers in the garden .. lol. Anyway, your avatar made me think of this picture. :)

youfoundme · youfoundme

A friendly Canadian guy on this very board has offered me some information that after reading and re-reading it I felt I needed to offer a piece of it here and share about it... From Toby Rice Drews: "When we feel that he holds all the cards....... when we feel that there is no way that we can make it wi...

Ashley1723 · Ashley1723

My Brother started drinking when he was in high school "casually," and then turned into a weekend and night time partier after he graduated. About five years ago his wife left him unexpectedly and started dating his friend, which made him turn to alcohol. He drank from the time he got off wo...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So my AH texted me today saying "I don't drink around our daughter and you know when my days off are you are keeping her away from me" He wanted to pick her up yesterday so he called yesterday and left a message I ignored him but later texted him back saying that he should call ahead of time when he...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Happy Summer :). I hope you are all doing well. Several months ago I moved out of my home with my 10 month old baby. Two months later my husband went to an inpatient treatment center for alcoholism. Today is four weeks since his release from that program. He is attending outpatient trea...

Freya · Freya

I just had a call from an alcoholic relative telling me they have a week to leave their home due to being evicted for not paying the rent, and then breaking a court agreement to pay the arrears in installments. This in the week after she spent hundreds on birthday presents for her son and for his school pr...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Aaarrgh! I struggle with understanding if I am detaching, or being a flaky parent. My son will turn 18 at the end of the month, and has made it clear that he intends to move out. While I got him home a few months ago, he pretty much just holed himself up in his room, and gradually separated himself so that h...

respect · respect

Well, I took the alcohol questionaire like you all suggested and the results were as I predicted. A wrecked car, infidelity, and a sad heart told me the answer before I even had to ask. I told my husband today about my infidelity. He took it rather well. He is still in rehab for pain pills so it was over the...

Katy · Katy

Good morning Mip, Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hu...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am just keeping honest here, so I want to say this now. My bf last week starting Wednesday gave me his debit and credit cards to hold on to so he wouldn't buy alcohol during the day. At first I hestitated because I thought "I don't need to babysit his cards so he won't drink" but then I felt th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just was reminded by another MIP member that I had not yet shared here what I shared on the other board the other day...After a buncha us guys and gals got together to console ourselves about the passing of my friend Leonard F I got a Facebook and more from others that LEONARD WAS ALIVE!! Visions of the m...

pessimisticallyoptimistic · pessimisticallyoptimistic

Hi:) Okay, so my DH has been sober for 11 months now. I'm 9 months pregnant. He was raised by his Mom & Step-Dad. I believe all his depression/addiction issues originated with the absence of his birth father. He desperately wanted to know him. His Mom left with him when he was a baby. Accordin...

Keel Man · Keel Man

Hi All, I am new to this so please have patience with me. My wife is an A and has been sober for 1/2 year. She has a sponsor (F) who is real nice, I have met her and she has this "Mentor" (M) who we will call Bob. she and Bob spend sometimes several hrs on the phone and many texts back and forth almost ev...

chinup · chinup

going to my 12 step meetings every tues nite,working out of my 12 step workbook,going out to learn how to line dance,going to some open aa meetings with some freinds,visiting neighbor next door young couple with 4 youngins and a 3 mth old i get to feed and hold,cutting my freinds hair ,paying bills wor...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a long conversation with a neighbor friend about this topic last night - he has never been truly alone, facing the tremendous weight of life by himself - even when not hooked up with someone, he had family and friends he lived with, helped take care of even - so he doesn't understand the deep lonelin...

Lyne · Lyne

So I saw a health professional today and he thinks I am very depressed. I guess I am, but I think I am grieving the loss of the relationship I used to have, wanted to have, and trying to accept that I may likely never have it again. My marriage started out fun, healthy I thought, and both of us were clear and...

Rora · Rora

I wanted to begin this post and address all the things that are difficult for me in this life journey. Man, life is hitting hard these days. And, as I was going over some of that in my head yesterday, I thought "ugh..let's shift that to gratitude instead." Being scared and worried and over...

fish out of water · fish out of water

My abf of 13yrs died in March 2011. I was lucky enough to have separated from him a year ago when I asked him to move out after being fired for drinking on the job. I couldn't, refused to watch him drink himself to death. Although not together, he was my best friend we spoke daily. I did get to say I love you to h...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

My final divorce hearing is on July 19th and as that day approaches I am getting so much more irritable and emotional. I know I am doing the right thing and have lived on my own for the last year. I struggle because I work 6 days a week with only Saturday's off to watch my 13 year old play her soccer games. I...

clep · clep

Recently I had a client try to blackmail me to get a good sum of money out of me. Legally they were not entitled to the money via the contract we have, so they used other pressure tactics to get me to give it to them. In the past I would have been irate and started the whole agressive approach. It would have be...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I really need some guidance, opions, examples.... how do I know what to do? Just talked to ABF for the first time in 11 days. Turns out he decided not to do his 3 months in lieu of probation and he could be out any day. There were NO questions asked on my part about his future plans. He told me he WANTS to be s...

MDK · MDK

My husband has been on a pill binger for almost two weeks now. I have noticed changes within myself. Instead of screaming or slamming the door I am starting to feel peaceful because I am taking care of myself and children first. I feel so sorry for him because he is going down a path that will eventually le...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My exAH has been in recovery and working a strict program for almost 4 yrs now, and we finally became officially divorced in Jan. Still a lot of pain around it, but for the most part, the crazy insane part of it all is over. I have come to accept what I cannot change (even though I do not like it) and try t...

Melissa Exhausted · Melissa Exhausted

I am new to al-anon, and I was recommended to check the group out to begin to heal, and revert back to my old, happy, positive self. I have been dating an alcoholic for 6 years. At first, I didn't know the extent of his disease, but when I moved in with him a couple of years ago, I figured it out. He wakes up in th...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been with my abf for over six years, i have been in al anon for nearly 4. ou journey has been a bumpy one thanks to alcoholism. he was sober for 6 months then relapesed over 6 months hit rock bottom went to a 6 month rehab then a three months dry house and was doing great. I understood he was sick and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been future-tripping lately--someday in the future my MOM is going to permanately move down to CA w/ my sister. Every time I think of it I get anxiety & somewhat depressed. Now I know that she is going to go there in a few years I still think about it & feel so awful especially when she mentio...

odalis · odalis

You guys have been awesome in sharing. I have a few more questions, although I know you can't tell me what to do, but please share what your experience have been please! So, I'm trying to ignore the drinking behavior of my AH. He comes home today and after saying hello to me and the girls, he grabs a beer and...

Rora · Rora

I am doing quite well these days with detaching. I by no means wish my A harm, but I also don't wish to engage him either. Yesterday, after weeks of not engaging or responding to his ridiculousness, in response to a hurt he caused my son, I text him telling him just what I thought. Never a good idea, I know...

ifa · ifa

I will take a chance and post about this. I think the main reason I left alanon meetings for a while was because of my mother. I did not leave the ideas of the program or the 12 steps, or my HP. I did not feel generally worse off, and I did not become isolated. I found other spiritual connections and things to j...

vizslame · vizslame

Being new is so damned confusing. I have so much crap in my life

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Well, court for the dismissal of the restraining order was this morning. I was so stressed I swear I was gonna be sick right there in the courtroom. They called me up, ABF was brought in from his holding cell and sat at a table to my left. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't know what my reaction would be o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Do not regret my past nor wish to shut the door on it (Preview) I am also brand new to this forum/website (just discovered it today). I am an alcoholic, 12 years sober, one day at a time. I am finding that I definitely NEED Al-Anon as I am DEFINITELY am an enabler. I enabled my ex-husband for 25 years and when I got some help and decided not to do it any more, he ended th...	bethlibart	6	975	Jul 18, 2011 by bethlibart
	Trying to feel acceptance, compassion, patience, understanding...instead, feeling anger, disgust, even hatred (Preview) I can't seem to get past the feelings of anger towards my wife and this situation. I can't seem to get past the lying. I'm really trying but I just can't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my mind. At my meeting this week, a woman said something amazing about how we feel. She said the program has taugh...	usedtobeanyer	8	839	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism (Preview) Aloha MIP Family...just got thru reading Annie M's post on the Alcoholic taking her Xanax meds and am in the process again of reading the Publication Al-Anon Faces Alcooholism which is very very informative and supportive of awareness for the spouse, relative or friends and associates of an alcoh...	Jerry F	5	502	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Finally!! (Preview) I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end. If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him. Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!! Come October I am free, it's all on him! The infamous offer has arrived and I am so r...	Pushka	5	586	Jul 17, 2011 by Pushka
	newbie- confused & angry (Preview) Hello all: I have been married for 11 years and have been with my wife since we were seniors in high school. For the past five years she has been drinking and it has gotten progressively worse. She has been to rehab 4 times( both inpatient and out patient) and is now in an outpatient program. So much has bee...	Pauly	4	615	Jul 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Please help explain car insurance enabling cell phone (Preview) My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance. Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see? Nothing I say is working! -- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM	zpo	7	11286	Jul 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Question about relapse (Preview) My husband hasn't had a drink in 18 years, but a couple of days ago he confessed that for a year he's been stealing my prescription Xanax. I have an anxiety disorder, but I take Xanax so rarely that I hadn't noticed that the bottle was almost empty. The good thing is that he's started going to meetings a...	AnnieMar	7	637	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Not Sure How I got here (Preview) Married 8 years ago, went into marriage knowing my AH was moody and a bit irriesponsible, he was also funny, loving and devoted. It wasn't until our 6th year of marriage that I found out he was an addict to several things. He got counseling, started AA, things seemed to be better. He relapsed since, reco...	surfgirl123	9	624	Jul 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Yippee. Financial freedom on the way (Preview) Today I went to the bank and moved my bank account to the branch I usually deal with. I changed my pin again, got a new card etc. I told my A that after his cheque I put in my bank today he has to get his own bank account and use that. He uses my account as my cash back limit is high. I let him know that I have high li...	clep	5	395	Jul 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	I only have a minute... (Preview) With only a few minutes to be on here, I just want to say THANKS to all of you who CARE! I am so grateful to those who are almost always there to pick me up when I fall down & that is sometimes very HARD! I have been spending most of my time on here trying to get something going on this computer; I am still usin...	Hoot Nanny	4	419	Jul 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need assitance with a response... (Preview) I know nobody can TELL me what to say.... but I'd sure like opinoins, suggestions and past experiences about how to respond to a statement made by ABF. I received a very long letter from him today. A little good. A little bad. Of course lots of promises. But I need help with one particular thing.... T...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	710	Jul 16, 2011 by All I can be
	Does the self focus ever end, or cycle around, or..?? (Preview) For those of you in the know, I'm wondering if an A or Recovering A's self focus and blame ever ends? Or goes in cycles, or ?? What's helped w/dealing with it also would be most helpful! [ Never mind my OWN self pity and blame ;) ha! ] My BF is in recovery - 7 yrs - but his sole topic of conversation is himself,...	rara avis	3	471	Jul 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Prescription Meds Update (Preview) Well I have been informed by my AW that she is getting out of the facility she is in on the 22nd. As stated earlier I work out of state and she is going to her mothers house for a couple of weeks. The problem is that the counselor and I agree that she is not ready and needs to continue in a extended care facility...	HarleyRyder	7	498	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Funny how it is ... (Preview) I heard from my "I hate alanon" friend .. lol .. she actually called, I was hesitant to take the call at first. We had a really good conversation. Something she heard in my voice was even though things are not totally right at the moment, my husband and I are dealing with a couple extra things...	Pushka	7	551	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries, sponsors, etc... (Preview) Hello again everyone! I have a couple of questions: I am working on trying to set boundaries with my alcoholic husband, particularly regarding the way he talks to me so unkindly. A counselor challenged me to do this, and said that there need to be consequences as a result. However, as in the past, my h...	KLotus	17	670	Jul 15, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	So confused (Preview) Hi, everybody.. My husband of 22 years has been sober for 18 years. But lately, although I fully believe him that he hasn't taken a drink, his behavior is unpredictable. I discovered that he is still in the habit of lying. I found out that on several occasions he went to dinner with a female friend and...	AnnieMar	3	385	Jul 15, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Suggestions, please; A beloved, recovering boyfriend neglecting self care and being mean (Preview) Hello Alanon forum goers, First off, thank you VERY much Al Anon and folks for existing, the Alanon literature has been very helpful and I have cruised various forums for info, ideas, etc...I appreciate the anonymous help!! It is so needed. Excuse the long story, but for those who can read the whol...	rara avis	8	799	Jul 15, 2011 by rara avis
	What is my part? (Preview) We had topic day at our meeting and the topic was anger. Very appropriate. One of the member talked about his anger and at one point of his sharing he said i always look at my part. it struck a nerve in me, big time. 2 weeks ago we told our teenage daughter we were separating, it was probably the most difficu...	Crazy Frog	5	630	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	spouse promises change again (Preview) OK so here we are again. A is so upset at my distance and changed mode that of course now she will go for professional help, at least with a CASAC/LCSW. Do you know how many times we have been at this point? Do you know how many times I believed her? I have no faith in her to accomplish dealing with her mult...	Lyne	10	702	Jul 15, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Little slips (Preview) This whole thing with the DUI just stirs up a whole lot of anger for me. I have a right to be angry. I have to remind myself healthy people would be angry. It's what and how I choose to handle my anger that separates me from where I was a year ago and where I am now. Filter from brain to mouth first, stop and t...	Pushka	11	776	Jul 15, 2011 by Pushka
	feel like i'm losing my mind (Preview) hello. i'm new to this forum, and pretty new to al-anon--i've been going to meetings for about 5 months now and recently started working with a sponsor. i've been trying to use program tools to get through the last couple of days, but i'm so anxious and overcome with worry right now. my husband has had bo...	lovecats	8	774	Jul 15, 2011 by lovecats
	One step forward or two steps back? (Preview) I'm amazed. Amazed at myself for my recent attitude. I've talked to ABF several times the past few days. The first conversation involved the "I'm Sorry"...my response... "thank you" - "I've signed up for a program in jail".... my response.. "hope you get...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	526	Jul 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	I'm so angry... (Preview) I'm very new to Al-Anon and have just started going to meetings and working the steps. What I'm realizing right now is how angry I am at my AH, angry for all the verbal abuse, angry with the fact that his drinking has put us in debt, angry because I have no friends because I've been so isolated, angry about...	Lizabelle123	11	1389	Jul 15, 2011 by odalis
	Sorry for the late notice - need a chair for Friday 7/15 morning meeting! (Preview) I'm in a class for work and will not be available to chair this morning's meeting. I'm sooo sorry for the late notice and hope someone can step in for me! hugs, bg	blender_girl	0	171	Jul 15, 2011 by blender_girl
	Guilt has set in (Preview) So I am feeling guilty for living my life...isn't that insane!!!!! My ex keeps calling and texting and emailing, which is somewhat funny because he never did that when we were together! I can't shake the feeling of guilt though...not just because I met someone else and Im having a good time just laughi...	Corgi2	8	567	Jul 15, 2011 by Doozy
	Grateful newbie and article share (Preview) Hi y'all! This is my first post in this wonderful forum. I have been reading posts almost every day for a couple weeks now and have found so much wisdom and strength from reading here. I feel like I already know some of you and already have so much appreciation for your honesty, humor and support dealing w...	Doozy	11	616	Jul 15, 2011 by bethlibart
	Here Again... (Preview) Looking back I have been on and off this board for many years... I know what I need to do and don't understand why I just can't do it. My AH has made it crystal clear that he has no intention of giving up his drinking and claims he does not have a problem. According to him people don't want to do anything wit...	odaat	4	528	Jul 14, 2011 by xeno59
	ACOA Books (Preview) A number of post-ers ask questions from the perspective of an ACOA, and I must humbly admit that I have very little knowledge around ACOA-specific issues. I asked the question of Toby Rice Drews, and here is her response, that I thought I would pass along, for those looking at good reading material in...	canadianguy	5	3729	Jul 14, 2011 by Red Hawk
	Have Relationship Cold Feet. Was Single 4 years. Help! Share Stories relationship single new cold feet anxiety scared commitment (Preview) Maybe I need more reassurance than advice but I have been stressing. Background about me I've been single for 4 years and Celibate for almost 2, because I've been waiting for the right girl. I met her 2 weeks ago and it was the most amazing feeling Ive ever felt in my life. True Love at First Sight. We had 2 d...	Nervousguy	6	3721	Jul 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	YouFoundMe (Preview) K, love your avatar picture and wanted to share my sunflower picture from last year. We had giant sunflowers in the garden .. lol. Anyway, your avatar made me think of this picture. :)	Pushka	6	449	Jul 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	You gotta want it...more than anything (Preview) A friendly Canadian guy on this very board has offered me some information that after reading and re-reading it I felt I needed to offer a piece of it here and share about it... From Toby Rice Drews: "When we feel that he holds all the cards....... when we feel that there is no way that we can make it wi...	youfoundme	10	846	Jul 14, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Newbie....a few questions. (Preview) My Brother started drinking when he was in high school "casually," and then turned into a weekend and night time partier after he graduated. About five years ago his wife left him unexpectedly and started dating his friend, which made him turn to alcohol. He drank from the time he got off wo...	Ashley1723	5	671	Jul 14, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Runaway (Preview) So my AH texted me today saying "I don't drink around our daughter and you know when my days off are you are keeping her away from me" He wanted to pick her up yesterday so he called yesterday and left a message I ignored him but later texted him back saying that he should call ahead of time when he...	Betterfuture	7	594	Jul 14, 2011 by Betterfuture
	Recovering and tattooing (Preview) Hi Everyone, Happy Summer :). I hope you are all doing well. Several months ago I moved out of my home with my 10 month old baby. Two months later my husband went to an inpatient treatment center for alcoholism. Today is four weeks since his release from that program. He is attending outpatient trea...	KLotus	6	3133	Jul 14, 2011 by KLotus
	Need a bit of ESH (Preview) I just had a call from an alcoholic relative telling me they have a week to leave their home due to being evicted for not paying the rent, and then breaking a court agreement to pay the arrears in installments. This in the week after she spent hundreds on birthday presents for her son and for his school pr...	Freya	12	544	Jul 14, 2011 by Freya
	the limbo is killing me (Preview) Aaarrgh! I struggle with understanding if I am detaching, or being a flaky parent. My son will turn 18 at the end of the month, and has made it clear that he intends to move out. While I got him home a few months ago, he pretty much just holed himself up in his room, and gradually separated himself so that h...	Loupiness	9	786	Jul 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	alcohol qestionaire/told husband (Preview) Well, I took the alcohol questionaire like you all suggested and the results were as I predicted. A wrecked car, infidelity, and a sad heart told me the answer before I even had to ask. I told my husband today about my infidelity. He took it rather well. He is still in rehab for pain pills so it was over the...	respect	8	664	Jul 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	I am more than my worries! (Preview) Good morning Mip, Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hu...	Katy	6	685	Jul 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Staying honest and keeping off the pity pot (Preview) I am just keeping honest here, so I want to say this now. My bf last week starting Wednesday gave me his debit and credit cards to hold on to so he wouldn't buy alcohol during the day. At first I hestitated because I thought "I don't need to babysit his cards so he won't drink" but then I felt th...	youfoundme	15	1947	Jul 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	Another funny lesson in humility.... (Preview) Just was reminded by another MIP member that I had not yet shared here what I shared on the other board the other day...After a buncha us guys and gals got together to console ourselves about the passing of my friend Leonard F I got a Facebook and more from others that LEONARD WAS ALIVE!! Visions of the m...	Jerry F	9	716	Jul 13, 2011 by Jozie
	New with a question... (Preview) Hi:) Okay, so my DH has been sober for 11 months now. I'm 9 months pregnant. He was raised by his Mom & Step-Dad. I believe all his depression/addiction issues originated with the absence of his birth father. He desperately wanted to know him. His Mom left with him when he was a baby. Accordin...	pessimisticallyoptimistic	11	623	Jul 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	Newbie Dying Inside (Preview) Hi All, I am new to this so please have patience with me. My wife is an A and has been sober for 1/2 year. She has a sponsor (F) who is real nice, I have met her and she has this "Mentor" (M) who we will call Bob. she and Bob spend sometimes several hrs on the phone and many texts back and forth almost ev...	Keel Man	14	1104	Jul 13, 2011 by ifa
	plans for staying busy busy (Preview) going to my 12 step meetings every tues nite,working out of my 12 step workbook,going out to learn how to line dance,going to some open aa meetings with some freinds,visiting neighbor next door young couple with 4 youngins and a 3 mth old i get to feed and hold,cutting my freinds hair ,paying bills wor...	chinup	6	475	Jul 13, 2011 by alexmaui
	Loneliness (Preview) I had a long conversation with a neighbor friend about this topic last night - he has never been truly alone, facing the tremendous weight of life by himself - even when not hooked up with someone, he had family and friends he lived with, helped take care of even - so he doesn't understand the deep lonelin...	likemyheart	6	4147	Jul 12, 2011 by Pushka
	grieving the loss (Preview) So I saw a health professional today and he thinks I am very depressed. I guess I am, but I think I am grieving the loss of the relationship I used to have, wanted to have, and trying to accept that I may likely never have it again. My marriage started out fun, healthy I thought, and both of us were clear and...	Lyne	10	701	Jul 12, 2011 by Lyne
	Choosing to feel thankful instead... (Preview) I wanted to begin this post and address all the things that are difficult for me in this life journey. Man, life is hitting hard these days. And, as I was going over some of that in my head yesterday, I thought "ugh..let's shift that to gratitude instead." Being scared and worried and over...	Rora	7	630	Jul 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	What to do with my feelings (Preview) My abf of 13yrs died in March 2011. I was lucky enough to have separated from him a year ago when I asked him to move out after being fired for drinking on the job. I couldn't, refused to watch him drink himself to death. Although not together, he was my best friend we spoke daily. I did get to say I love you to h...	fish out of water	7	522	Jul 12, 2011 by fish out of water
	Beyond tired (Preview) My final divorce hearing is on July 19th and as that day approaches I am getting so much more irritable and emotional. I know I am doing the right thing and have lived on my own for the last year. I struggle because I work 6 days a week with only Saturday's off to watch my 13 year old play her soccer games. I...	flopadopilus	7	596	Jul 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Al-anon has changed me so much (Preview) Recently I had a client try to blackmail me to get a good sum of money out of me. Legally they were not entitled to the money via the contract we have, so they used other pressure tactics to get me to give it to them. In the past I would have been irate and started the whole agressive approach. It would have be...	clep	6	482	Jul 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Help? (Preview) I really need some guidance, opions, examples.... how do I know what to do? Just talked to ABF for the first time in 11 days. Turns out he decided not to do his 3 months in lieu of probation and he could be out any day. There were NO questions asked on my part about his future plans. He told me he WANTS to be s...	ELEKTRAWMN	14	625	Jul 12, 2011 by xeno59
	What the program has done for me............ (Preview) My husband has been on a pill binger for almost two weeks now. I have noticed changes within myself. Instead of screaming or slamming the door I am starting to feel peaceful because I am taking care of myself and children first. I feel so sorry for him because he is going down a path that will eventually le...	MDK	8	657	Jul 12, 2011 by Pushka
	won't enter the ring for another round... (Preview) My exAH has been in recovery and working a strict program for almost 4 yrs now, and we finally became officially divorced in Jan. Still a lot of pain around it, but for the most part, the crazy insane part of it all is over. I have come to accept what I cannot change (even though I do not like it) and try t...	Loupiness	5	602	Jul 12, 2011 by Loupiness
	New to Al-Anon, and desperately need it! (Preview) I am new to al-anon, and I was recommended to check the group out to begin to heal, and revert back to my old, happy, positive self. I have been dating an alcoholic for 6 years. At first, I didn't know the extent of his disease, but when I moved in with him a couple of years ago, I figured it out. He wakes up in th...	Melissa Exhausted	9	569	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	need al anon strength. (Preview) I have been with my abf for over six years, i have been in al anon for nearly 4. ou journey has been a bumpy one thanks to alcoholism. he was sober for 6 months then relapesed over 6 months hit rock bottom went to a 6 month rehab then a three months dry house and was doing great. I understood he was sick and...	Tracy	7	443	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	yikes! future tripping (Preview) I have been future-tripping lately--someday in the future my MOM is going to permanately move down to CA w/ my sister. Every time I think of it I get anxiety & somewhat depressed. Now I know that she is going to go there in a few years I still think about it & feel so awful especially when she mentio...	Hoot Nanny	3	800	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	more questions (Preview) You guys have been awesome in sharing. I have a few more questions, although I know you can't tell me what to do, but please share what your experience have been please! So, I'm trying to ignore the drinking behavior of my AH. He comes home today and after saying hello to me and the girls, he grabs a beer and...	odalis	3	620	Jul 11, 2011 by RLC
	Mush brain... (Preview) I am doing quite well these days with detaching. I by no means wish my A harm, but I also don't wish to engage him either. Yesterday, after weeks of not engaging or responding to his ridiculousness, in response to a hurt he caused my son, I text him telling him just what I thought. Never a good idea, I know...	Rora	6	743	Jul 11, 2011 by Rora
	my mother (Preview) I will take a chance and post about this. I think the main reason I left alanon meetings for a while was because of my mother. I did not leave the ideas of the program or the 12 steps, or my HP. I did not feel generally worse off, and I did not become isolated. I found other spiritual connections and things to j...	ifa	11	631	Jul 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	being new (Preview) Being new is so damned confusing. I have so much crap in my life	vizslame	11	607	Jul 11, 2011 by vizslame
	I survived....barely (Preview) Well, court for the dismissal of the restraining order was this morning. I was so stressed I swear I was gonna be sick right there in the courtroom. They called me up, ABF was brought in from his holding cell and sat at a table to my left. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't know what my reaction would be o...	ELEKTRAWMN	4	428	Jul 11, 2011 by Mattie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.