Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH has been drunk now going on three weeks. I mean falling down, I think he's dead, drunk. I had moved out but it still haunts me. Last week he called begging me to come and fix the tv...I kind of slipped in my recovery and went over...of course it didn't work..it was unplugged. I plugged it in and fled. Th...

Doozy · Doozy

Hey y'all, I had a wonderful weekend. I am struggling a lot of the time and am only ~6 weeks out of a very serious 3 yr relationship with ABF. Weekends are always the worst because we had great weekends together so much of the time, him and me and his two kids. But, I feel absolutely certain I did my best and th...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

hello everyone! How do you handle a situation when your AH has been in and out of 28 day rehabs for goin on 4 months, this last one (he is currently in at the moment) seems to be like hes getting it? But he has only been their for 2weeks and said if his cravings our gone by the end of the week he is coming home. Wha...

Pushka · Pushka

UGH, I have spent so much time denying emotions and all of a sudden I feel like a tidal wave of crap has hit me. It's like being emotionally over stimulated without the wall to hold it off. The Katrina of emotional mayham. I could really use some ESH please. I have felt good in ways I haven't felt for a lon...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (family)...Just sitting and listening and letting the program and board carry me cause I'm borderline at the moment...right between fences...God's will and my own. I read some literature over the past couple of days and attended two meetings to arrive at that awarness and why I am in b...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have felt so frustrated at times knowing that I know what I am supposed to do, but then putting it off or not doing it at all. Often it is procrastination, but most often it is fear, and avoidance of the discomfort that is the inevitable result. I finally took a step forward and now am sitting with my feel...

Jozie · Jozie

Having one of those "MELLO" Moments and truly don't know what to do with myself..lol.. It is like the "DramaMeter" has Dropped and I Can see light at the end of the tunnel.. And the FUNNY thing is... NOTHING has really happened, other then the Weather is Beautiful and suppose to b...

maresie · maresie

I am working a lot at the moment so do not have as much time to come to this site. I miss you all. A short update. I am 5 years out from leaving the ex A in financial ruin. The aftermath has been a roller coaster of managing debt, disappointments, grief, rage and acceptance. I'm now working a lot 2 jobs an...

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

Hi, everybody.. For years I used to needle my husband <who had quit drinking, but who had also quit going to meetings> that he seemed 'fake.' Don't get me wrong, he's a great person, and he wasn't mistreating me or anything, but there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I'm the type...

sharisdaughter · sharisdaughter

Hello all, I just found out my mom is drinking/taking pills again after 15 years sober. I am utterly destroyed by this. I was 17 when she quit- I thought we were long past this. We are here visiting from Denmark (my husband is Danish) and in the last several days I just knew something was the matter, but I ho...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Quote from July 17th reading in Courage to Change: "You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not....As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." -- Edited by Green Eyes on Sunda...

KLotus · KLotus

Happy Monday Everyone! Last week I attended only one al-anon meeting, though obviously I have been on this message board several times weekly. I do some al-anon reading every day. I try to remember to pray every morning, at the very least. There are weeks when I am able to attend 2-3 meetings. The c...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone,I am confused about how my father could have been so successful at his job, yet as an alcoholic parent, failed me and my brothers and sister so badly as a parent. He taught high school and it seems whenever I met any of his current or former students they always said he was the best teacher I eve...

mslouise · mslouise

The other night I sat across from a kid...getting arrested for spray painting on some builidings. He is 15. They sat him in the corner, while waiting on his mom and stepdad to come down, to start some questioning . As he sat there, with his long hair, skinny long arms, wiggling and nervous....I co...

Katy · Katy

When my pre programme twin turns up I want to be both, and I want it NOW! I want the people I love to just get it, I just get used to one situation and it changes, I am not always ready and prepared for those changes, they don't take place in my time scale and I get frustrated and panick and become fearful, I get a...

ifa · ifa

Esma is an old friend who now lives far away, and occasionally we write or talk on the phone. She is an ACOA, and I doubt she ever went to any 12 step meetings. Recently we were emailing and I wrote and told her about the big wedding that my whole family of origin is attending in a couple of weeks. I told her I am...

bethlibart · bethlibart

I am also brand new to this forum/website (just discovered it today). I am an alcoholic, 12 years sober, one day at a time. I am finding that I definitely NEED Al-Anon as I am DEFINITELY am an enabler. I enabled my ex-husband for 25 years and when I got some help and decided not to do it any more, he ended th...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I can't seem to get past the feelings of anger towards my wife and this situation. I can't seem to get past the lying. I'm really trying but I just can't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my mind. At my meeting this week, a woman said something amazing about how we feel. She said the program has taugh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family...just got thru reading Annie M's post on the Alcoholic taking her Xanax meds and am in the process again of reading the Publication Al-Anon Faces Alcooholism which is very very informative and supportive of awareness for the spouse, relative or friends and associates of an alcoh...

Pushka · Pushka

I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end. If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him. Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!! Come October I am free, it's all on him! The infamous offer has arrived and I am so r...

Pauly · Pauly

Hello all: I have been married for 11 years and have been with my wife since we were seniors in high school. For the past five years she has been drinking and it has gotten progressively worse. She has been to rehab 4 times( both inpatient and out patient) and is now in an outpatient program. So much has bee...

zpo · zpo

My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance. Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see? Nothing I say is working! -- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

My husband hasn't had a drink in 18 years, but a couple of days ago he confessed that for a year he's been stealing my prescription Xanax. I have an anxiety disorder, but I take Xanax so rarely that I hadn't noticed that the bottle was almost empty. The good thing is that he's started going to meetings a...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Married 8 years ago, went into marriage knowing my AH was moody and a bit irriesponsible, he was also funny, loving and devoted. It wasn't until our 6th year of marriage that I found out he was an addict to several things. He got counseling, started AA, things seemed to be better. He relapsed since, reco...

clep · clep

Today I went to the bank and moved my bank account to the branch I usually deal with. I changed my pin again, got a new card etc. I told my A that after his cheque I put in my bank today he has to get his own bank account and use that. He uses my account as my cash back limit is high. I let him know that I have high li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

With only a few minutes to be on here, I just want to say THANKS to all of you who CARE! I am so grateful to those who are almost always there to pick me up when I fall down & that is sometimes very HARD! I have been spending most of my time on here trying to get something going on this computer; I am still usin...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I know nobody can TELL me what to say.... but I'd sure like opinoins, suggestions and past experiences about how to respond to a statement made by ABF. I received a very long letter from him today. A little good. A little bad. Of course lots of promises. But I need help with one particular thing.... T...

rara avis · rara avis

For those of you in the know, I'm wondering if an A or Recovering A's self focus and blame ever ends? Or goes in cycles, or ?? What's helped w/dealing with it also would be most helpful! [ Never mind my OWN self pity and blame ;) ha! ] My BF is in recovery - 7 yrs - but his sole topic of conversation is himself,...

HarleyRyder · HarleyRyder

Well I have been informed by my AW that she is getting out of the facility she is in on the 22nd. As stated earlier I work out of state and she is going to her mothers house for a couple of weeks. The problem is that the counselor and I agree that she is not ready and needs to continue in a extended care facility...

Pushka · Pushka

I heard from my "I hate alanon" friend .. lol .. she actually called, I was hesitant to take the call at first. We had a really good conversation. Something she heard in my voice was even though things are not totally right at the moment, my husband and I are dealing with a couple extra things...

KLotus · KLotus

Hello again everyone! I have a couple of questions: I am working on trying to set boundaries with my alcoholic husband, particularly regarding the way he talks to me so unkindly. A counselor challenged me to do this, and said that there need to be consequences as a result. However, as in the past, my h...

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

Hi, everybody.. My husband of 22 years has been sober for 18 years. But lately, although I fully believe him that he hasn't taken a drink, his behavior is unpredictable. I discovered that he is still in the habit of lying. I found out that on several occasions he went to dinner with a female friend and...

rara avis · rara avis

Hello Alanon forum goers, First off, thank you VERY much Al Anon and folks for existing, the Alanon literature has been very helpful and I have cruised various forums for info, ideas, etc...I appreciate the anonymous help!! It is so needed. Excuse the long story, but for those who can read the whol...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

We had topic day at our meeting and the topic was anger. Very appropriate. One of the member talked about his anger and at one point of his sharing he said i always look at my part. it struck a nerve in me, big time. 2 weeks ago we told our teenage daughter we were separating, it was probably the most difficu...

Lyne · Lyne

OK so here we are again. A is so upset at my distance and changed mode that of course now she will go for professional help, at least with a CASAC/LCSW. Do you know how many times we have been at this point? Do you know how many times I believed her? I have no faith in her to accomplish dealing with her mult...

Pushka · Pushka

This whole thing with the DUI just stirs up a whole lot of anger for me. I have a right to be angry. I have to remind myself healthy people would be angry. It's what and how I choose to handle my anger that separates me from where I was a year ago and where I am now. Filter from brain to mouth first, stop and t...

lovecats · lovecats

hello. i'm new to this forum, and pretty new to al-anon--i've been going to meetings for about 5 months now and recently started working with a sponsor. i've been trying to use program tools to get through the last couple of days, but i'm so anxious and overcome with worry right now. my husband has had bo...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm amazed. Amazed at myself for my recent attitude. I've talked to ABF several times the past few days. The first conversation involved the "I'm Sorry"...my response... "thank you" - "I've signed up for a program in jail".... my response.. "hope you get...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

I'm very new to Al-Anon and have just started going to meetings and working the steps. What I'm realizing right now is how angry I am at my AH, angry for all the verbal abuse, angry with the fact that his drinking has put us in debt, angry because I have no friends because I've been so isolated, angry about...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I'm in a class for work and will not be available to chair this morning's meeting. I'm sooo sorry for the late notice and hope someone can step in for me! hugs, bg

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So I am feeling guilty for living my life...isn't that insane!!!!! My ex keeps calling and texting and emailing, which is somewhat funny because he never did that when we were together! I can't shake the feeling of guilt though...not just because I met someone else and Im having a good time just laughi...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi y'all! This is my first post in this wonderful forum. I have been reading posts almost every day for a couple weeks now and have found so much wisdom and strength from reading here. I feel like I already know some of you and already have so much appreciation for your honesty, humor and support dealing w...

odaat · odaat

Looking back I have been on and off this board for many years... I know what I need to do and don't understand why I just can't do it. My AH has made it crystal clear that he has no intention of giving up his drinking and claims he does not have a problem. According to him people don't want to do anything wit...

canadianguy · canadianguy

A number of post-ers ask questions from the perspective of an ACOA, and I must humbly admit that I have very little knowledge around ACOA-specific issues. I asked the question of Toby Rice Drews, and here is her response, that I thought I would pass along, for those looking at good reading material in...

Nervousguy · Nervousguy

Maybe I need more reassurance than advice but I have been stressing. Background about me I've been single for 4 years and Celibate for almost 2, because I've been waiting for the right girl. I met her 2 weeks ago and it was the most amazing feeling Ive ever felt in my life. True Love at First Sight. We had 2 d...

Pushka · Pushka

K, love your avatar picture and wanted to share my sunflower picture from last year. We had giant sunflowers in the garden .. lol. Anyway, your avatar made me think of this picture. :)

youfoundme · youfoundme

A friendly Canadian guy on this very board has offered me some information that after reading and re-reading it I felt I needed to offer a piece of it here and share about it... From Toby Rice Drews: "When we feel that he holds all the cards....... when we feel that there is no way that we can make it wi...

Ashley1723 · Ashley1723

My Brother started drinking when he was in high school "casually," and then turned into a weekend and night time partier after he graduated. About five years ago his wife left him unexpectedly and started dating his friend, which made him turn to alcohol. He drank from the time he got off wo...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So my AH texted me today saying "I don't drink around our daughter and you know when my days off are you are keeping her away from me" He wanted to pick her up yesterday so he called yesterday and left a message I ignored him but later texted him back saying that he should call ahead of time when he...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Happy Summer :). I hope you are all doing well. Several months ago I moved out of my home with my 10 month old baby. Two months later my husband went to an inpatient treatment center for alcoholism. Today is four weeks since his release from that program. He is attending outpatient trea...

Freya · Freya

I just had a call from an alcoholic relative telling me they have a week to leave their home due to being evicted for not paying the rent, and then breaking a court agreement to pay the arrears in installments. This in the week after she spent hundreds on birthday presents for her son and for his school pr...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Aaarrgh! I struggle with understanding if I am detaching, or being a flaky parent. My son will turn 18 at the end of the month, and has made it clear that he intends to move out. While I got him home a few months ago, he pretty much just holed himself up in his room, and gradually separated himself so that h...

respect · respect

Well, I took the alcohol questionaire like you all suggested and the results were as I predicted. A wrecked car, infidelity, and a sad heart told me the answer before I even had to ask. I told my husband today about my infidelity. He took it rather well. He is still in rehab for pain pills so it was over the...

Katy · Katy

Good morning Mip, Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hu...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am just keeping honest here, so I want to say this now. My bf last week starting Wednesday gave me his debit and credit cards to hold on to so he wouldn't buy alcohol during the day. At first I hestitated because I thought "I don't need to babysit his cards so he won't drink" but then I felt th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just was reminded by another MIP member that I had not yet shared here what I shared on the other board the other day...After a buncha us guys and gals got together to console ourselves about the passing of my friend Leonard F I got a Facebook and more from others that LEONARD WAS ALIVE!! Visions of the m...

pessimisticallyoptimistic · pessimisticallyoptimistic

Hi:) Okay, so my DH has been sober for 11 months now. I'm 9 months pregnant. He was raised by his Mom & Step-Dad. I believe all his depression/addiction issues originated with the absence of his birth father. He desperately wanted to know him. His Mom left with him when he was a baby. Accordin...

Keel Man · Keel Man

Hi All, I am new to this so please have patience with me. My wife is an A and has been sober for 1/2 year. She has a sponsor (F) who is real nice, I have met her and she has this "Mentor" (M) who we will call Bob. she and Bob spend sometimes several hrs on the phone and many texts back and forth almost ev...

chinup · chinup

going to my 12 step meetings every tues nite,working out of my 12 step workbook,going out to learn how to line dance,going to some open aa meetings with some freinds,visiting neighbor next door young couple with 4 youngins and a 3 mth old i get to feed and hold,cutting my freinds hair ,paying bills wor...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a long conversation with a neighbor friend about this topic last night - he has never been truly alone, facing the tremendous weight of life by himself - even when not hooked up with someone, he had family and friends he lived with, helped take care of even - so he doesn't understand the deep lonelin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Am i my husbands keeper? (Preview) My AH has been drunk now going on three weeks. I mean falling down, I think he's dead, drunk. I had moved out but it still haunts me. Last week he called begging me to come and fix the tv...I kind of slipped in my recovery and went over...of course it didn't work..it was unplugged. I plugged it in and fled. Th...	alexmaui	9	765	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries question (Preview) Hey y'all, I had a wonderful weekend. I am struggling a lot of the time and am only ~6 weeks out of a very serious 3 yr relationship with ABF. Weekends are always the worst because we had great weekends together so much of the time, him and me and his two kids. But, I feel absolutely certain I did my best and th...	Doozy	6	771	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared and cautious (Preview) hello everyone! How do you handle a situation when your AH has been in and out of 28 day rehabs for goin on 4 months, this last one (he is currently in at the moment) seems to be like hes getting it? But he has only been their for 2weeks and said if his cravings our gone by the end of the week he is coming home. Wha...	sameoldstuff	8	538	Jul 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Guilt and Shame (Preview) UGH, I have spent so much time denying emotions and all of a sudden I feel like a tidal wave of crap has hit me. It's like being emotionally over stimulated without the wall to hold it off. The Katrina of emotional mayham. I could really use some ESH please. I have felt good in ways I haven't felt for a lon...	Pushka	3	1845	Jul 19, 2011 by Pushka
	Borderline... (Preview) Aloha Ohana (family)...Just sitting and listening and letting the program and board carry me cause I'm borderline at the moment...right between fences...God's will and my own. I read some literature over the past couple of days and attended two meetings to arrive at that awarness and why I am in b...	Jerry F	14	678	Jul 19, 2011 by GailMichelle
	tough love ~ its time (Preview) I have felt so frustrated at times knowing that I know what I am supposed to do, but then putting it off or not doing it at all. Often it is procrastination, but most often it is fear, and avoidance of the discomfort that is the inevitable result. I finally took a step forward and now am sitting with my feel...	Loupiness	12	1352	Jul 19, 2011 by Maura G
	Just for Today! (Preview) Having one of those "MELLO" Moments and truly don't know what to do with myself..lol.. It is like the "DramaMeter" has Dropped and I Can see light at the end of the tunnel.. And the FUNNY thing is... NOTHING has really happened, other then the Weather is Beautiful and suppose to b...	Jozie	6	871	Jul 19, 2011 by Ness
	short update (Preview) I am working a lot at the moment so do not have as much time to come to this site. I miss you all. A short update. I am 5 years out from leaving the ex A in financial ruin. The aftermath has been a roller coaster of managing debt, disappointments, grief, rage and acceptance. I'm now working a lot 2 jobs an...	maresie	6	487	Jul 19, 2011 by Ness
	Being genuine? (Preview) Hi, everybody.. For years I used to needle my husband <who had quit drinking, but who had also quit going to meetings> that he seemed 'fake.' Don't get me wrong, he's a great person, and he wasn't mistreating me or anything, but there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I'm the type...	AnnieMar	17	771	Jul 19, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Mom drinking after 15 years- absolutely devastated (Preview) Hello all, I just found out my mom is drinking/taking pills again after 15 years sober. I am utterly destroyed by this. I was 17 when she quit- I thought we were long past this. We are here visiting from Denmark (my husband is Danish) and in the last several days I just knew something was the matter, but I ho...	sharisdaughter	5	630	Jul 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Just What I Needed for Today letting go Courage to Change (Preview) Quote from July 17th reading in Courage to Change: "You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not....As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." -- Edited by Green Eyes on Sunda...	Green Eyes	4	4733	Jul 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	What is enough? (Preview) Happy Monday Everyone! Last week I attended only one al-anon meeting, though obviously I have been on this message board several times weekly. I do some al-anon reading every day. I try to remember to pray every morning, at the very least. There are weeks when I am able to attend 2-3 meetings. The c...	KLotus	6	576	Jul 19, 2011 by Doozy
	Confused about functioning alcoholic family members (Preview) Hi Everyone,I am confused about how my father could have been so successful at his job, yet as an alcoholic parent, failed me and my brothers and sister so badly as a parent. He taught high school and it seems whenever I met any of his current or former students they always said he was the best teacher I eve...	Patk	9	803	Jul 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Hug your kids (Preview) The other night I sat across from a kid...getting arrested for spray painting on some builidings. He is 15. They sat him in the corner, while waiting on his mom and stepdad to come down, to start some questioning . As he sat there, with his long hair, skinny long arms, wiggling and nervous....I co...	mslouise	4	531	Jul 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Do I want to be right or happy? (Preview) When my pre programme twin turns up I want to be both, and I want it NOW! I want the people I love to just get it, I just get used to one situation and it changes, I am not always ready and prepared for those changes, they don't take place in my time scale and I get frustrated and panick and become fearful, I get a...	Katy	7	701	Jul 18, 2011 by xeno59
	denial? (Preview) Esma is an old friend who now lives far away, and occasionally we write or talk on the phone. She is an ACOA, and I doubt she ever went to any 12 step meetings. Recently we were emailing and I wrote and told her about the big wedding that my whole family of origin is attending in a couple of weeks. I told her I am...	ifa	10	653	Jul 18, 2011 by ifa
	Do not regret my past nor wish to shut the door on it (Preview) I am also brand new to this forum/website (just discovered it today). I am an alcoholic, 12 years sober, one day at a time. I am finding that I definitely NEED Al-Anon as I am DEFINITELY am an enabler. I enabled my ex-husband for 25 years and when I got some help and decided not to do it any more, he ended th...	bethlibart	6	1016	Jul 18, 2011 by bethlibart
	Trying to feel acceptance, compassion, patience, understanding...instead, feeling anger, disgust, even hatred (Preview) I can't seem to get past the feelings of anger towards my wife and this situation. I can't seem to get past the lying. I'm really trying but I just can't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my mind. At my meeting this week, a woman said something amazing about how we feel. She said the program has taugh...	usedtobeanyer	8	875	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism (Preview) Aloha MIP Family...just got thru reading Annie M's post on the Alcoholic taking her Xanax meds and am in the process again of reading the Publication Al-Anon Faces Alcooholism which is very very informative and supportive of awareness for the spouse, relative or friends and associates of an alcoh...	Jerry F	5	529	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Finally!! (Preview) I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end. If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him. Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!! Come October I am free, it's all on him! The infamous offer has arrived and I am so r...	Pushka	5	612	Jul 17, 2011 by Pushka
	newbie- confused & angry (Preview) Hello all: I have been married for 11 years and have been with my wife since we were seniors in high school. For the past five years she has been drinking and it has gotten progressively worse. She has been to rehab 4 times( both inpatient and out patient) and is now in an outpatient program. So much has bee...	Pauly	4	645	Jul 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Please help explain car insurance enabling cell phone (Preview) My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance. Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see? Nothing I say is working! -- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM	zpo	7	12661	Jul 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Question about relapse (Preview) My husband hasn't had a drink in 18 years, but a couple of days ago he confessed that for a year he's been stealing my prescription Xanax. I have an anxiety disorder, but I take Xanax so rarely that I hadn't noticed that the bottle was almost empty. The good thing is that he's started going to meetings a...	AnnieMar	7	664	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Not Sure How I got here (Preview) Married 8 years ago, went into marriage knowing my AH was moody and a bit irriesponsible, he was also funny, loving and devoted. It wasn't until our 6th year of marriage that I found out he was an addict to several things. He got counseling, started AA, things seemed to be better. He relapsed since, reco...	surfgirl123	9	658	Jul 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Yippee. Financial freedom on the way (Preview) Today I went to the bank and moved my bank account to the branch I usually deal with. I changed my pin again, got a new card etc. I told my A that after his cheque I put in my bank today he has to get his own bank account and use that. He uses my account as my cash back limit is high. I let him know that I have high li...	clep	5	422	Jul 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	I only have a minute... (Preview) With only a few minutes to be on here, I just want to say THANKS to all of you who CARE! I am so grateful to those who are almost always there to pick me up when I fall down & that is sometimes very HARD! I have been spending most of my time on here trying to get something going on this computer; I am still usin...	Hoot Nanny	4	446	Jul 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need assitance with a response... (Preview) I know nobody can TELL me what to say.... but I'd sure like opinoins, suggestions and past experiences about how to respond to a statement made by ABF. I received a very long letter from him today. A little good. A little bad. Of course lots of promises. But I need help with one particular thing.... T...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	737	Jul 16, 2011 by All I can be
	Does the self focus ever end, or cycle around, or..?? (Preview) For those of you in the know, I'm wondering if an A or Recovering A's self focus and blame ever ends? Or goes in cycles, or ?? What's helped w/dealing with it also would be most helpful! [ Never mind my OWN self pity and blame ;) ha! ] My BF is in recovery - 7 yrs - but his sole topic of conversation is himself,...	rara avis	3	505	Jul 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Prescription Meds Update (Preview) Well I have been informed by my AW that she is getting out of the facility she is in on the 22nd. As stated earlier I work out of state and she is going to her mothers house for a couple of weeks. The problem is that the counselor and I agree that she is not ready and needs to continue in a extended care facility...	HarleyRyder	7	524	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Funny how it is ... (Preview) I heard from my "I hate alanon" friend .. lol .. she actually called, I was hesitant to take the call at first. We had a really good conversation. Something she heard in my voice was even though things are not totally right at the moment, my husband and I are dealing with a couple extra things...	Pushka	7	578	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries, sponsors, etc... (Preview) Hello again everyone! I have a couple of questions: I am working on trying to set boundaries with my alcoholic husband, particularly regarding the way he talks to me so unkindly. A counselor challenged me to do this, and said that there need to be consequences as a result. However, as in the past, my h...	KLotus	17	698	Jul 15, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	So confused (Preview) Hi, everybody.. My husband of 22 years has been sober for 18 years. But lately, although I fully believe him that he hasn't taken a drink, his behavior is unpredictable. I discovered that he is still in the habit of lying. I found out that on several occasions he went to dinner with a female friend and...	AnnieMar	3	412	Jul 15, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Suggestions, please; A beloved, recovering boyfriend neglecting self care and being mean (Preview) Hello Alanon forum goers, First off, thank you VERY much Al Anon and folks for existing, the Alanon literature has been very helpful and I have cruised various forums for info, ideas, etc...I appreciate the anonymous help!! It is so needed. Excuse the long story, but for those who can read the whol...	rara avis	8	829	Jul 15, 2011 by rara avis
	What is my part? (Preview) We had topic day at our meeting and the topic was anger. Very appropriate. One of the member talked about his anger and at one point of his sharing he said i always look at my part. it struck a nerve in me, big time. 2 weeks ago we told our teenage daughter we were separating, it was probably the most difficu...	Crazy Frog	5	665	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	spouse promises change again (Preview) OK so here we are again. A is so upset at my distance and changed mode that of course now she will go for professional help, at least with a CASAC/LCSW. Do you know how many times we have been at this point? Do you know how many times I believed her? I have no faith in her to accomplish dealing with her mult...	Lyne	10	732	Jul 15, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Little slips (Preview) This whole thing with the DUI just stirs up a whole lot of anger for me. I have a right to be angry. I have to remind myself healthy people would be angry. It's what and how I choose to handle my anger that separates me from where I was a year ago and where I am now. Filter from brain to mouth first, stop and t...	Pushka	11	806	Jul 15, 2011 by Pushka
	feel like i'm losing my mind (Preview) hello. i'm new to this forum, and pretty new to al-anon--i've been going to meetings for about 5 months now and recently started working with a sponsor. i've been trying to use program tools to get through the last couple of days, but i'm so anxious and overcome with worry right now. my husband has had bo...	lovecats	8	805	Jul 15, 2011 by lovecats
	One step forward or two steps back? (Preview) I'm amazed. Amazed at myself for my recent attitude. I've talked to ABF several times the past few days. The first conversation involved the "I'm Sorry"...my response... "thank you" - "I've signed up for a program in jail".... my response.. "hope you get...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	554	Jul 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	I'm so angry... (Preview) I'm very new to Al-Anon and have just started going to meetings and working the steps. What I'm realizing right now is how angry I am at my AH, angry for all the verbal abuse, angry with the fact that his drinking has put us in debt, angry because I have no friends because I've been so isolated, angry about...	Lizabelle123	11	1420	Jul 15, 2011 by odalis
	Sorry for the late notice - need a chair for Friday 7/15 morning meeting! (Preview) I'm in a class for work and will not be available to chair this morning's meeting. I'm sooo sorry for the late notice and hope someone can step in for me! hugs, bg	blender_girl	0	200	Jul 15, 2011 by blender_girl
	Guilt has set in (Preview) So I am feeling guilty for living my life...isn't that insane!!!!! My ex keeps calling and texting and emailing, which is somewhat funny because he never did that when we were together! I can't shake the feeling of guilt though...not just because I met someone else and Im having a good time just laughi...	Corgi2	8	596	Jul 15, 2011 by Doozy
	Grateful newbie and article share (Preview) Hi y'all! This is my first post in this wonderful forum. I have been reading posts almost every day for a couple weeks now and have found so much wisdom and strength from reading here. I feel like I already know some of you and already have so much appreciation for your honesty, humor and support dealing w...	Doozy	11	653	Jul 15, 2011 by bethlibart
	Here Again... (Preview) Looking back I have been on and off this board for many years... I know what I need to do and don't understand why I just can't do it. My AH has made it crystal clear that he has no intention of giving up his drinking and claims he does not have a problem. According to him people don't want to do anything wit...	odaat	4	555	Jul 14, 2011 by xeno59
	ACOA Books (Preview) A number of post-ers ask questions from the perspective of an ACOA, and I must humbly admit that I have very little knowledge around ACOA-specific issues. I asked the question of Toby Rice Drews, and here is her response, that I thought I would pass along, for those looking at good reading material in...	canadianguy	5	4040	Jul 14, 2011 by Red Hawk
	Have Relationship Cold Feet. Was Single 4 years. Help! Share Stories relationship single new cold feet anxiety scared commitment (Preview) Maybe I need more reassurance than advice but I have been stressing. Background about me I've been single for 4 years and Celibate for almost 2, because I've been waiting for the right girl. I met her 2 weeks ago and it was the most amazing feeling Ive ever felt in my life. True Love at First Sight. We had 2 d...	Nervousguy	6	4010	Jul 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	YouFoundMe (Preview) K, love your avatar picture and wanted to share my sunflower picture from last year. We had giant sunflowers in the garden .. lol. Anyway, your avatar made me think of this picture. :)	Pushka	6	476	Jul 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	You gotta want it...more than anything (Preview) A friendly Canadian guy on this very board has offered me some information that after reading and re-reading it I felt I needed to offer a piece of it here and share about it... From Toby Rice Drews: "When we feel that he holds all the cards....... when we feel that there is no way that we can make it wi...	youfoundme	10	874	Jul 14, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Newbie....a few questions. (Preview) My Brother started drinking when he was in high school "casually," and then turned into a weekend and night time partier after he graduated. About five years ago his wife left him unexpectedly and started dating his friend, which made him turn to alcohol. He drank from the time he got off wo...	Ashley1723	5	697	Jul 14, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Runaway (Preview) So my AH texted me today saying "I don't drink around our daughter and you know when my days off are you are keeping her away from me" He wanted to pick her up yesterday so he called yesterday and left a message I ignored him but later texted him back saying that he should call ahead of time when he...	Betterfuture	7	625	Jul 14, 2011 by Betterfuture
	Recovering and tattooing (Preview) Hi Everyone, Happy Summer :). I hope you are all doing well. Several months ago I moved out of my home with my 10 month old baby. Two months later my husband went to an inpatient treatment center for alcoholism. Today is four weeks since his release from that program. He is attending outpatient trea...	KLotus	6	3331	Jul 14, 2011 by KLotus
	Need a bit of ESH (Preview) I just had a call from an alcoholic relative telling me they have a week to leave their home due to being evicted for not paying the rent, and then breaking a court agreement to pay the arrears in installments. This in the week after she spent hundreds on birthday presents for her son and for his school pr...	Freya	12	586	Jul 14, 2011 by Freya
	the limbo is killing me (Preview) Aaarrgh! I struggle with understanding if I am detaching, or being a flaky parent. My son will turn 18 at the end of the month, and has made it clear that he intends to move out. While I got him home a few months ago, he pretty much just holed himself up in his room, and gradually separated himself so that h...	Loupiness	9	819	Jul 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	alcohol qestionaire/told husband (Preview) Well, I took the alcohol questionaire like you all suggested and the results were as I predicted. A wrecked car, infidelity, and a sad heart told me the answer before I even had to ask. I told my husband today about my infidelity. He took it rather well. He is still in rehab for pain pills so it was over the...	respect	8	687	Jul 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	I am more than my worries! (Preview) Good morning Mip, Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hu...	Katy	6	712	Jul 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Staying honest and keeping off the pity pot (Preview) I am just keeping honest here, so I want to say this now. My bf last week starting Wednesday gave me his debit and credit cards to hold on to so he wouldn't buy alcohol during the day. At first I hestitated because I thought "I don't need to babysit his cards so he won't drink" but then I felt th...	youfoundme	15	2062	Jul 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	Another funny lesson in humility.... (Preview) Just was reminded by another MIP member that I had not yet shared here what I shared on the other board the other day...After a buncha us guys and gals got together to console ourselves about the passing of my friend Leonard F I got a Facebook and more from others that LEONARD WAS ALIVE!! Visions of the m...	Jerry F	9	746	Jul 13, 2011 by Jozie
	New with a question... (Preview) Hi:) Okay, so my DH has been sober for 11 months now. I'm 9 months pregnant. He was raised by his Mom & Step-Dad. I believe all his depression/addiction issues originated with the absence of his birth father. He desperately wanted to know him. His Mom left with him when he was a baby. Accordin...	pessimisticallyoptimistic	11	659	Jul 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	Newbie Dying Inside (Preview) Hi All, I am new to this so please have patience with me. My wife is an A and has been sober for 1/2 year. She has a sponsor (F) who is real nice, I have met her and she has this "Mentor" (M) who we will call Bob. she and Bob spend sometimes several hrs on the phone and many texts back and forth almost ev...	Keel Man	14	1130	Jul 13, 2011 by ifa
	plans for staying busy busy (Preview) going to my 12 step meetings every tues nite,working out of my 12 step workbook,going out to learn how to line dance,going to some open aa meetings with some freinds,visiting neighbor next door young couple with 4 youngins and a 3 mth old i get to feed and hold,cutting my freinds hair ,paying bills wor...	chinup	6	500	Jul 13, 2011 by alexmaui
	Loneliness (Preview) I had a long conversation with a neighbor friend about this topic last night - he has never been truly alone, facing the tremendous weight of life by himself - even when not hooked up with someone, he had family and friends he lived with, helped take care of even - so he doesn't understand the deep lonelin...	likemyheart	6	4452	Jul 12, 2011 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.