Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lostbird3 · lostbird3

My boyfriend and I have been through many rough patches because of his alcoholism for 2 1/2 years... About 10 months ago I started attending Al-Anon and I've really been able to see how I've contributed to many of our arguments. About 5 months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop fighting back (i...

Della · Della

Hello, Not been here for a couple of months. For those who don't know, my fiancé of 5 years passed away in April from alcoholism. I recently read about a couple where the husband was an A and recovered but then his marriage didn't survive. This was because he changed when he gave himself to the higher bein...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I spent some time with my mom today- she's 73 years young : ) She had this to say to me today: "I can't believe "your AH" has a drinking problem. He's a very bright and well educated man. He should know better." As if he had a choice! I felt the need to educate her a bit. I explained to he...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I find now that my AH isn't drinking and is going to counseling, and we are actually getting along better, I am actually bored. Bored with our marriage, bored with myself and my future and filling like I'm not getting my needs met. For a short period, he doted on me immensely. It made me think we had a cha...

odalis · odalis

Hey everyone. I just wanted to share with someone! I heard the words over and over again...we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. And I really tried to listen to them and thought I understood them. Well, I didn't realize just how manageable my life had actually become.....emotiona...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

First I want to thank you all for your responses and messages of encouragement. I believe I've truely found the place to be. I have YET to make it to a f2f meeting. Schedule is not exactly working out the way I had hoped. I have been doing lots of reading and have a couple of more books ordered and on the w...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Its not really alanon related, but the more people praying, maybe he will make it home. He is a Maine Coon and he is 3 years old. he is an indoor cat and he has asthma so the terrible weather we are having here with the heat and humidity is making me scared for him. He escaped out the window last night, the...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I hope it's okay that I post a bit of a story for y'all. Not sure if it's appropriate on this board, so if it's not I hope someone will speak up. So I'm not a very religious person. Never have been. I completely respect other people's faiths. I respect their HP, whether it be God, Jehovah, Buddah... heck...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi There, Newbie here... I have a question regarding private counseling for the alcoholic vs AA? My A does not believe in a HP at this point (although he was raised Lutheran). So he has often said that AA makes him feel uncomfortable. Last week I did see him reading the AA book, though. And Friday he mad...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I was just told by my husband that he didnt want me to help him with his recovery he wants to do it all by himself. Also that he doesnt care about how i am feeling or what is going on around him with our family all he wants is to be left alone. He said that when i talk about my feelings that he doesnt care and that is...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Why do I feel so enraged every time my daughter hangs up on me? I don`t feel a bit of serenity... I feel enraged.. I can`t have a civil conversation with her if its something she doesn`t want to hear, she hangs up on me! I`am so ripping angry.. I put up with this crap all to have grandaughter around and she is t...

luv123 · luv123

Slogans:One of my faves is One Day at a Time-I too often am inclined to get way ahead of myself & project past experiences onto possible future outcomes. I believe it is a way of self protection that worked in the past, but is no longer serving me. When I go to a meeting and hear or pick up the literature...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I have relized that my husband needs to do this alone. And i am willing to stand by his side though his iop program he has 2 more weeks left, but when that is over and he is done i am thinking of making him choose. Either he goes down the new path with me and his kids and there is marriage counceling or he can choo...

chinup · chinup

ive met a guy 2 weeks ago didnt know him from adam,we went out and then he called me everyday 2x a day and then we went out or spent the day together the next weekend,now im falling for him,i think im crazy,i didnt expect that to happpen so quick scares me i dont think his feelings for me r the same he says he do...

Slugcat · Slugcat

I have had an alki step father. I am a recovering alki myself. Whats got me twisted up is a loved ones other addiction though. When he talks about his plans and schemes how he is going to control this addiction. What do I say back? Oh thats great? I dont want to say that is great. I want to yell GO TO A DAMN 12 St...

michellelong · michellelong

After coming home from dropping my AH off at jail for the next two nights, one of 19 more from his last DUI, my telephone rang, it was one of his friends that has been sober for 6 years. This is someone who I thought I could count on to help me talk some sense into my AH but has turned out to be nothing more than an...

MariaM · MariaM

My life is out of control, a friend I respect said I should try al-anon... I went to a local meeting on a day I got sent home from work, it was okay I guess. Most of the people were WAY older than me and I felt a little singled out. There are not any local meetings in my area that are outside of my work hours.There...

Pushka · Pushka

I noticed that there seems to be a theme on anger recently, .. lol .. not that I haven't had my share of that emotion recently. It keeps creeping in on me and I have to remember what is mine, his and ours together .. lol. Last week I heard a great quote, I swear I thought I had read it here on the boards I know i...

oldergal · oldergal

When I starting reading Alanon literature I couldn't really get a grasp on what enabling was and separating it from compassion. I was helped by many and now I can boil it down to one sentence. "Do not do for others what they can and should do for themselves" This helped me and then it wasn't so c...

michellelong · michellelong

I'm sorry to keep venting but I am hoping this is what the board is for. I am not having a good day like I hoped for and I don't understand why! As I have said in a previous post, my AH is in jail serving the third of 22 weekends from a DUI back in January. He comes home at 6PM tomorrow. He calls me but sounds distan...

Mylife · Mylife

I am new to this forum. I have an alcoholic mother, she got sober about 11 years ago as the result of being admitted to the hospital after a bad fall and being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It took her about a month to fully detox and then another month in physical therapy to learn how to walk again....

tweety23 · tweety23

Hi all, I haven't posted in a while.. I am feeling a little down the last few days and need to vent. I feel like my life is over. Don't mean that as dramatically as it sounds, ie I am dying, but just the fun and adventure and good times for me are done. Right now my entire goal and focus is on my kids, that they...

HAguirre · HAguirre

Is it normal to feel like nothing is happening nothing is moving forward. i have the book for alanon i admit my life is unmanigable i admit i am powerless i have gave it to god even though it still hurts I dont understand how or where i am supose to do now. How come i'm not feeling better what do i do with the bo...

michellelong · michellelong

I'm brand new to the group, been looking for something like this for a long time. I have been married to an alcoholic/drug abuser for 6 years. The longest he has gone without anything is 11 months. I have had 2-5 month periods of happiness as well but it never lasts. I am to the point where I never know if he i...

maresie · maresie

An alcoholic who lived next to me has finally been evicted. He had a small dog who I was feeding by the time he left. If I had his phone number I'd probably still be feeding him. I detached a great deal from him over the year he lived next to me. Nevertheless his chaos, constant crises and complete and tota...

luv123 · luv123

Tradition 7 self supporting-declining outside contributions I remember reading a nice forum article from way back in the 80's. It dilineated ways we could apply tradtions to our home and family life. This tradition was especially helpful to me while I was learning to apply the Al-anon principl...

ditto · ditto

http://www.statesman.com/opinion/insight/texas-expert-addiction-science-has-taken-giant-steps-1642154.html

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang.... just wanted to re-post this today, about the importance of "balance" in our lives.... even with respect to recovery stuff vs. other stuff - whether it is dealing with our A's specifically, or life in general.... For me, I had a tendency to try and find "too much recover...

lacewing · lacewing

I remember when I first came to recognize that Alcohol was possibly, at least part of the problem in my marriage. I was so desperate to learn what was wrong with my family, wrong with me and wrong in general. I wanted to fix it, understand it and get as far away from what was happening as I could. I had trie...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Would you who have a child who is A please share about this? Of course I appreciate everyones shares too. My friend is struggling. Xeno you are so right, and you reminded me of things thank you My friend from High school I have always called my brother came over very upset. His darn son who is around 23, got...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so glad to be in the same boat w/ you all! The reason: we are not all drowning! We can all be grateful that we have the support we need right here! I have so much hope today that I never thought possible. I mention this quite often lately because I have finally found it & hope you will all too! After so m...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... RLC (Rodney) has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. He has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addition to our group. When I look at t...

MAR2011 · MAR2011

A couple months ago my A went into a clinic for detox, they told him he would have died if he continued to try to do it on his own. Up until Thursday night, he was sober 8 weeks. Those 8 weeks were fantastic, stress free, happy times. He's the best man I've ever met when he's sober. Because of a DUI in December,...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I am new to this whole life style. My husband has just started an IOP program and he is sober now for over 30 days. I am proud of him but i feel like i am left in the dust. I am still trying to see where i belong and what i do to fix me. I have been reading alot about codependency and slowly realizing that is me, beca...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am getting old even though most people think 45 is young! Yeah, tomorrow is my birthday. I am looking forward to celebrating like I always do! Today was the start of my partying! I hope I don't get a hangover--not from drinking but from all the excitement! I just got back from lunch w/a dear friend; bles...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Just received a call from ABF. Mind you, I AM at work.... the only one of the two of us that is currently employed.... He got in touch with his lawyer.... the Solicitor wants to throw the book at him really hard... so here comes the blame game again... 24 week Drug/Alcohol program... 18 week family vi...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

Hi Everyone, Lately throughout my day I have noticed that my mind starts going to deep dark places. I start to worry about things related to my AW in recovery, family, future, past, etc. Essentially all of these worries have already been handed over to my HP through working the steps (currently on s...

oldergal · oldergal

Written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. learn..... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. .... That when you're in love, it shows. .... That just one person saying , 'You've made my day!'will make your day. Learn.......

meagain · meagain

Recently I started to a alonon meeting again-and YES i have a sponsor, which I am very happy about. My youngest son (36) got a DUI about 2 months ago-and I know I sure needed help again. I grew up with a "A" brother-now he is addicted to Oxcy...:(anyhooow I have 3 adult sons 36,37 and 38 and I di...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know that many of you are used to living with someone who is mired in their own problems, addictions, or selfishness so that's why I'm posting. Lately, I have been very down in regards to my marriage. My dh is looking for a new job and he's completely obsessed with his problems at work. The issue is th...

clep · clep

Today I realized it is my day off. I have someone else covering for me and it was planned a while ago. I forgot about it. I sit here today thinking, what should I do? I didn't have a clue. I was fighting to figure something out and couldn't think of anything. I realized today that I nurture myself in the w...

ifa · ifa

I know there is no point even thinking about this, since it is over and done, and doesn't even matter to begin with. However, any time I am rejected I always wonder if it could have been my fault, or if they rejected me because I am worthless, etc. I was friends with Luna for over 10 years. We met in a 12 step gr...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All, In some of my posts, I mention that I had gone through many years of counseling and that I still had a lot of emotional baggage regarding my marriage. My baggage has been significantly reduced since attending meetings for the past 5 months. I attribute this "weight" loss to the mem...

KLotus · KLotus

I am grateful for this message board. I don't feel I have many trusted places to turn at the moment (whether real or perceived). I'm glad that I feel grateful for anything right now. My AH was distant and seemingly angry yesterday. I respected that he didn't want to talk about it, but struggled with h...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I may or may not be able to post this in full so I will post just a couple excerpts, but its something I feel that I am being led to share: From ODAAT in alanon July 20 pp202 "Everytime I catch myself trying to figure out other people's motives, I'll stop and ask myself: "What did I say or do that pr...

parfait624 · parfait624

I haven't been on here for a while. I have been out trying to live my life and not think about my ABF. The last time I spoke to him was the end of May, he said that I was stalking him and that I was crazy. Then two seconds later he said when I get too close he has to run for a while and he feels like he is losing God....

stephaniej · stephaniej

Two weeks ago I lost my job. No severance, and my former employer is going to fight my unemployment claim. I have been considering leaving my AH. Unfortunately, these events will make that impossible. As any one of us could have predicted, his drinking is escalating. I have reason to believe tha...

Jennifer · Jennifer

OK yes me and the moostiff have been cooped up inside with the air conditioning for a few days now so granted his actions and my thoughts are getting a bit goofy ... but ... This morning every time my music cycle has turned to a specific song he starts barking and dancing around the house. Since it seems he h...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Last night at my home group meeting, I was talking after the meeting with my alanon friend and a gentleman. The man is a self proclaimed double winner, that white knuckled it for 23 years before he came to AA and Alanon which he says makes it easier to not drink (7 years ago he came to the meetings). He was...

Lyne · Lyne

Ok so I pushed my spouse to make an appt. with the CASAC, I asked her if she made a 2nd one, I want her to change, I need our marriage to change, and I know all this thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong. I need a brain tune-up. I know the Serenity Prayer. I know I can only change myself. I still want her to change ...

hoyasfan123 · hoyasfan123

My mom just kicked my alcoholic dad out of the house. He went to rehab about 2 months ago, but relapsed, and so she kept her word. My question is - do I contact him to talk about it? Let him feel alone for awhile so (hopefully) he realizes the consequences? This sucks...he just visited me, and seemed to be do...

ifa · ifa

If my qualifier doesn't call me after a certain amount of time -- say 12 hours -- I start to worry that he never will. Then I get a feeling of intense sorrow. If I try calling him and he doesn't answer, it gets worse and worse. I wonder if this is simply because I love him and we don't live together? Or does it me...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi all just an update on 3rd al anon face to face meeting i lusaka, zambia, africa. attendance was back up to 4 with one new person which was great.its not so scary taking the meetings as it was 2 meetings ago so thats also nice.its going great and i am truly grateful. had a bit of a dilemma 2 days before thoug...

alanonnewbie · alanonnewbie

Hi everyone, I am new to this so hopefully this posts right. Anyway, I am feeling really depressed lately, while at the same time I am also very relieved. It is a kind of bitter sweet feeling. My boyfriend of 3 years, who I have been trying to help with his alcohol addiction ever since I discovered his prob...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Good morning yall, I don't know about you guys but last night when I went to sleep, someone took my peaceful brain and substituted squirrel cage thinking in there. I have no idea what I was dreaming of, but it sure feel like there was a lot of activity going on. The committee in my head apparently had a gr...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I haven't had a good sob yet, but I feel it coming on. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time walking out of the courthouse. It all feels so bittersweet right now after 15 years of my exAH being a main part of my life. I have been counting down since I filed in February and now it came to pass. I even sho...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

there's a sticker i read recently that says, "never listen to the things you tell yourself when you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, etc.," Great sticker, but tonight it's pretty hard. Trying to keep the focus on me and Not the alcoholic but failing miserably. Keep being the key word .. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know what y'all think but I am happy when recovery is mentioned on TV. I find it very refreshing! I was watching a show yesterday(let it be nameless) that mentioned AA more than once & that the gal is in recovery from alcohol/drug addiction--anyhow, she took her father to an AA meeting &...

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH was brought, by ambulance into the hospital. He had been drinking and taking ambien...he was hallucinating and raving. Two days later he is still not rational but he is ranting the wants to go home. We don't live together anymore he lives by himself...Can they release him? He wont go into treatme...

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

Hi, everybody.. A few minutes ago I put the word 'snooping' in this board's search engine, and I was amazed at how enlightening it was for me to read the posts. It was as if people were channeling me and what I was feeling and doing. To make a long story short, I'd lately been compulsively snooping on m...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Loving relationship with an alcoholic (Preview) My boyfriend and I have been through many rough patches because of his alcoholism for 2 1/2 years... About 10 months ago I started attending Al-Anon and I've really been able to see how I've contributed to many of our arguments. About 5 months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop fighting back (i...	lostbird3	8	544	Jul 26, 2011 by lostbird3
	Relationship surviving when a alcoholic recovers (Preview) Hello, Not been here for a couple of months. For those who don't know, my fiancé of 5 years passed away in April from alcoholism. I recently read about a couple where the husband was an A and recovered but then his marriage didn't survive. This was because he changed when he gave himself to the higher bein...	Della	13	1821	Jul 26, 2011 by kay115
	Alcoholism Does Not Discriminate (Preview) I spent some time with my mom today- she's 73 years young : ) She had this to say to me today: "I can't believe "your AH" has a drinking problem. He's a very bright and well educated man. He should know better." As if he had a choice! I felt the need to educate her a bit. I explained to he...	Green Eyes	6	590	Jul 26, 2011 by canadianguy
	conflict versus nothingness (Preview) I find now that my AH isn't drinking and is going to counseling, and we are actually getting along better, I am actually bored. Bored with our marriage, bored with myself and my future and filling like I'm not getting my needs met. For a short period, he doted on me immensely. It made me think we had a cha...	oldgraduate	7	626	Jul 26, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Something good, something sad...my realization (Preview) Hey everyone. I just wanted to share with someone! I heard the words over and over again...we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. And I really tried to listen to them and thought I understood them. Well, I didn't realize just how manageable my life had actually become.....emotiona...	odalis	12	541	Jul 26, 2011 by xeno59
	Hi! Just a little update... (Preview) First I want to thank you all for your responses and messages of encouragement. I believe I've truely found the place to be. I have YET to make it to a f2f meeting. Schedule is not exactly working out the way I had hoped. I have been doing lots of reading and have a couple of more books ordered and on the w...	ELEKTRAWMN	6	642	Jul 26, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Pray for my cat (Preview) Its not really alanon related, but the more people praying, maybe he will make it home. He is a Maine Coon and he is 3 years old. he is an indoor cat and he has asthma so the terrible weather we are having here with the heat and humidity is making me scared for him. He escaped out the window last night, the...	youfoundme	19	771	Jul 26, 2011 by TheJeanGenie
	Maybe it's a sign..... (Preview) I hope it's okay that I post a bit of a story for y'all. Not sure if it's appropriate on this board, so if it's not I hope someone will speak up. So I'm not a very religious person. Never have been. I completely respect other people's faiths. I respect their HP, whether it be God, Jehovah, Buddah... heck...	ELEKTRAWMN	14	819	Jul 26, 2011 by Jozie
	Counseling vs AA? (Preview) Hi There, Newbie here... I have a question regarding private counseling for the alcoholic vs AA? My A does not believe in a HP at this point (although he was raised Lutheran). So he has often said that AA makes him feel uncomfortable. Last week I did see him reading the AA book, though. And Friday he mad...	NovSun	10	1515	Jul 26, 2011 by NovSun
	Dont know what to do now with marriage (Preview) I was just told by my husband that he didnt want me to help him with his recovery he wants to do it all by himself. Also that he doesnt care about how i am feeling or what is going on around him with our family all he wants is to be left alone. He said that when i talk about my feelings that he doesnt care and that is...	HAguirre	9	809	Jul 25, 2011 by maryjane
	The Bull I put up with... I must still be insane (Preview) Why do I feel so enraged every time my daughter hangs up on me? I don`t feel a bit of serenity... I feel enraged.. I can`t have a civil conversation with her if its something she doesn`t want to hear, she hangs up on me! I`am so ripping angry.. I put up with this crap all to have grandaughter around and she is t...	Samsgram	3	930	Jul 25, 2011 by Samsgram
	What's your favorite slogan & why? (Preview) Slogans:One of my faves is One Day at a Time-I too often am inclined to get way ahead of myself & project past experiences onto possible future outcomes. I believe it is a way of self protection that worked in the past, but is no longer serving me. When I go to a meeting and hear or pick up the literature...	luv123	8	847	Jul 25, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	I cant and wont live this way does it make me a bad person (Preview) I have relized that my husband needs to do this alone. And i am willing to stand by his side though his iop program he has 2 more weeks left, but when that is over and he is done i am thinking of making him choose. Either he goes down the new path with me and his kids and there is marriage counceling or he can choo...	HAguirre	6	538	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	am i normal (Preview) ive met a guy 2 weeks ago didnt know him from adam,we went out and then he called me everyday 2x a day and then we went out or spent the day together the next weekend,now im falling for him,i think im crazy,i didnt expect that to happpen so quick scares me i dont think his feelings for me r the same he says he do...	chinup	4	567	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	what do I say (Preview) I have had an alki step father. I am a recovering alki myself. Whats got me twisted up is a loved ones other addiction though. When he talks about his plans and schemes how he is going to control this addiction. What do I say back? Oh thats great? I dont want to say that is great. I want to yell GO TO A DAMN 12 St...	Slugcat	5	673	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Tired of Enabler's (Preview) After coming home from dropping my AH off at jail for the next two nights, one of 19 more from his last DUI, my telephone rang, it was one of his friends that has been sober for 6 years. This is someone who I thought I could count on to help me talk some sense into my AH but has turned out to be nothing more than an...	michellelong	6	602	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Hello (Preview) My life is out of control, a friend I respect said I should try al-anon... I went to a local meeting on a day I got sent home from work, it was okay I guess. Most of the people were WAY older than me and I felt a little singled out. There are not any local meetings in my area that are outside of my work hours.There...	MariaM	13	674	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	A share (Preview) I noticed that there seems to be a theme on anger recently, .. lol .. not that I haven't had my share of that emotion recently. It keeps creeping in on me and I have to remember what is mine, his and ours together .. lol. Last week I heard a great quote, I swear I thought I had read it here on the boards I know i...	Pushka	2	404	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Thoughts on Enabling and Anger (Preview) When I starting reading Alanon literature I couldn't really get a grasp on what enabling was and separating it from compassion. I was helped by many and now I can boil it down to one sentence. "Do not do for others what they can and should do for themselves" This helped me and then it wasn't so c...	oldergal	3	832	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Feeling the need to share again...and again... (Preview) I'm sorry to keep venting but I am hoping this is what the board is for. I am not having a good day like I hoped for and I don't understand why! As I have said in a previous post, my AH is in jail serving the third of 22 weekends from a DUI back in January. He comes home at 6PM tomorrow. He calls me but sounds distan...	michellelong	3	422	Jul 25, 2011 by michellelong
	I don't know what to do. (Preview) I am new to this forum. I have an alcoholic mother, she got sober about 11 years ago as the result of being admitted to the hospital after a bad fall and being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It took her about a month to fully detox and then another month in physical therapy to learn how to walk again....	Mylife	5	549	Jul 25, 2011 by Pushka
	Just random thoughts (Preview) Hi all, I haven't posted in a while.. I am feeling a little down the last few days and need to vent. I feel like my life is over. Don't mean that as dramatically as it sounds, ie I am dying, but just the fun and adventure and good times for me are done. Right now my entire goal and focus is on my kids, that they...	tweety23	3	420	Jul 25, 2011 by Pushka
	Standing still Still drowning (Preview) Is it normal to feel like nothing is happening nothing is moving forward. i have the book for alanon i admit my life is unmanigable i admit i am powerless i have gave it to god even though it still hurts I dont understand how or where i am supose to do now. How come i'm not feeling better what do i do with the bo...	HAguirre	2	507	Jul 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Depressed in NC (Preview) I'm brand new to the group, been looking for something like this for a long time. I have been married to an alcoholic/drug abuser for 6 years. The longest he has gone without anything is 11 months. I have had 2-5 month periods of happiness as well but it never lasts. I am to the point where I never know if he i...	michellelong	10	574	Jul 24, 2011 by tweety23
	Letting go (Preview) An alcoholic who lived next to me has finally been evicted. He had a small dog who I was feeding by the time he left. If I had his phone number I'd probably still be feeding him. I detached a great deal from him over the year he lived next to me. Nevertheless his chaos, constant crises and complete and tota...	maresie	6	542	Jul 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Tradition 7 in dealing with my kids (Preview) Tradition 7 self supporting-declining outside contributions I remember reading a nice forum article from way back in the 80's. It dilineated ways we could apply tradtions to our home and family life. This tradition was especially helpful to me while I was learning to apply the Al-anon principl...	luv123	3	1045	Jul 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	The Science of Addiction (Preview) http://www.statesman.com/opinion/insight/texas-expert-addiction-science-has-taken-giant-steps-1642154.html	ditto	5	619	Jul 24, 2011 by ifa
	Balancing Act (Preview) Hi gang.... just wanted to re-post this today, about the importance of "balance" in our lives.... even with respect to recovery stuff vs. other stuff - whether it is dealing with our A's specifically, or life in general.... For me, I had a tendency to try and find "too much recover...	canadianguy	11	886	Jul 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	The Blue Balloon (Preview) I remember when I first came to recognize that Alcohol was possibly, at least part of the problem in my marriage. I was so desperate to learn what was wrong with my family, wrong with me and wrong in general. I wanted to fix it, understand it and get as far away from what was happening as I could. I had trie...	lacewing	7	823	Jul 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	When your child is your A (Preview) Would you who have a child who is A please share about this? Of course I appreciate everyones shares too. My friend is struggling. Xeno you are so right, and you reminded me of things thank you My friend from High school I have always called my brother came over very upset. His darn son who is around 23, got...	Debilyn	9	1599	Jul 23, 2011 by Debilyn
	in the same boat! (Preview) I am so glad to be in the same boat w/ you all! The reason: we are not all drowning! We can all be grateful that we have the support we need right here! I have so much hope today that I never thought possible. I mention this quite often lately because I have finally found it & hope you will all too! After so m...	Hoot Nanny	3	476	Jul 23, 2011 by luv123
	New Board Moderator (Preview) Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... RLC (Rodney) has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. He has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addition to our group. When I look at t...	canadianguy	13	754	Jul 23, 2011 by lacewing
	Hurt, confused and scared...(long) (Preview) A couple months ago my A went into a clinic for detox, they told him he would have died if he continued to try to do it on his own. Up until Thursday night, he was sober 8 weeks. Those 8 weeks were fantastic, stress free, happy times. He's the best man I've ever met when he's sober. Because of a DUI in December,...	MAR2011	5	532	Jul 23, 2011 by xeno59
	New and dont know what to do? (Preview) I am new to this whole life style. My husband has just started an IOP program and he is sober now for over 30 days. I am proud of him but i feel like i am left in the dust. I am still trying to see where i belong and what i do to fix me. I have been reading alot about codependency and slowly realizing that is me, beca...	HAguirre	6	563	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	getting old! (Preview) I am getting old even though most people think 45 is young! Yeah, tomorrow is my birthday. I am looking forward to celebrating like I always do! Today was the start of my partying! I hope I don't get a hangover--not from drinking but from all the excitement! I just got back from lunch w/a dear friend; bles...	Hoot Nanny	6	557	Jul 23, 2011 by youfoundme
	So mad I could spit nails! (vent) (Preview) Just received a call from ABF. Mind you, I AM at work.... the only one of the two of us that is currently employed.... He got in touch with his lawyer.... the Solicitor wants to throw the book at him really hard... so here comes the blame game again... 24 week Drug/Alcohol program... 18 week family vi...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	665	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	Turning it Over to HP - advice needed (Preview) Hi Everyone, Lately throughout my day I have noticed that my mind starts going to deep dark places. I start to worry about things related to my AW in recovery, family, future, past, etc. Essentially all of these worries have already been handed over to my HP through working the steps (currently on s...	surfingmaestro	7	460	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	Great Thoughts for the Day (Preview) Written by *Andy Rooney*, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. learn..... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. .... That when you're in love, it shows. .... That just one person saying , 'You've made my day!'will make your day. Learn.......	oldergal	8	3888	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	Been away for awhile :(( (Preview) Recently I started to a alonon meeting again-and YES i have a sponsor, which I am very happy about. My youngest son (36) got a DUI about 2 months ago-and I know I sure needed help again. I grew up with a "A" brother-now he is addicted to Oxcy...:(anyhooow I have 3 adult sons 36,37 and 38 and I di...	meagain	2	427	Jul 23, 2011 by Pushka
	I need to vent, a bit OT (Preview) I know that many of you are used to living with someone who is mired in their own problems, addictions, or selfishness so that's why I'm posting. Lately, I have been very down in regards to my marriage. My dh is looking for a new job and he's completely obsessed with his problems at work. The issue is th...	ilovedogs	12	536	Jul 23, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I don't have enough time by myself. (Preview) Today I realized it is my day off. I have someone else covering for me and it was planned a while ago. I forgot about it. I sit here today thinking, what should I do? I didn't have a clue. I was fighting to figure something out and couldn't think of anything. I realized today that I nurture myself in the w...	clep	5	514	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
	ex friend (Preview) I know there is no point even thinking about this, since it is over and done, and doesn't even matter to begin with. However, any time I am rejected I always wonder if it could have been my fault, or if they rejected me because I am worthless, etc. I was friends with Luna for over 10 years. We met in a 12 step gr...	ifa	8	663	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
	Private Counseling vs Al-Anon (Preview) Hi All, In some of my posts, I mention that I had gone through many years of counseling and that I still had a lot of emotional baggage regarding my marriage. My baggage has been significantly reduced since attending meetings for the past 5 months. I attribute this "weight" loss to the mem...	GailMichelle	26	3081	Jul 22, 2011 by Jennifer
	Down (Preview) I am grateful for this message board. I don't feel I have many trusted places to turn at the moment (whether real or perceived). I'm glad that I feel grateful for anything right now. My AH was distant and seemingly angry yesterday. I respected that he didn't want to talk about it, but struggled with h...	KLotus	8	743	Jul 22, 2011 by KLotus
	Today's reminder: ODAAT 7/20 and December 7 (Preview) I may or may not be able to post this in full so I will post just a couple excerpts, but its something I feel that I am being led to share: From ODAAT in alanon July 20 pp202 "Everytime I catch myself trying to figure out other people's motives, I'll stop and ask myself: "What did I say or do that pr...	youfoundme	3	526	Jul 22, 2011 by maryjane
	Not Again! (Preview) I haven't been on here for a while. I have been out trying to live my life and not think about my ABF. The last time I spoke to him was the end of May, he said that I was stalking him and that I was crazy. Then two seconds later he said when I get too close he has to run for a while and he feels like he is losing God....	parfait624	10	595	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
	Drowning (Preview) Two weeks ago I lost my job. No severance, and my former employer is going to fight my unemployment claim. I have been considering leaving my AH. Unfortunately, these events will make that impossible. As any one of us could have predicted, his drinking is escalating. I have reason to believe tha...	stephaniej	5	465	Jul 22, 2011 by Otie
	The Moostiif Says I'm Beautiful (Preview) OK yes me and the moostiff have been cooped up inside with the air conditioning for a few days now so granted his actions and my thoughts are getting a bit goofy ... but ... This morning every time my music cycle has turned to a specific song he starts barking and dancing around the house. Since it seems he h...	Jennifer	3	696	Jul 22, 2011 by Pushka
	Your perspective? (Preview) Last night at my home group meeting, I was talking after the meeting with my alanon friend and a gentleman. The man is a self proclaimed double winner, that white knuckled it for 23 years before he came to AA and Alanon which he says makes it easier to not drink (7 years ago he came to the meetings). He was...	youfoundme	12	641	Jul 21, 2011 by maryjane
	Did everything wrong (Preview) Ok so I pushed my spouse to make an appt. with the CASAC, I asked her if she made a 2nd one, I want her to change, I need our marriage to change, and I know all this thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong. I need a brain tune-up. I know the Serenity Prayer. I know I can only change myself. I still want her to change ...	Lyne	6	588	Jul 21, 2011 by maryjane
	kicked out (Preview) My mom just kicked my alcoholic dad out of the house. He went to rehab about 2 months ago, but relapsed, and so she kept her word. My question is - do I contact him to talk about it? Let him feel alone for awhile so (hopefully) he realizes the consequences? This sucks...he just visited me, and seemed to be do...	hoyasfan123	8	646	Jul 21, 2011 by hoyasfan123
	hurt hurt hurt (Preview) If my qualifier doesn't call me after a certain amount of time -- say 12 hours -- I start to worry that he never will. Then I get a feeling of intense sorrow. If I try calling him and he doesn't answer, it gets worse and worse. I wonder if this is simply because I love him and we don't live together? Or does it me...	ifa	15	692	Jul 21, 2011 by ifa
	update 3rd face to face al anon meeting zambia,africa and advice requested (Preview) hi all just an update on 3rd al anon face to face meeting i lusaka, zambia, africa. attendance was back up to 4 with one new person which was great.its not so scary taking the meetings as it was 2 meetings ago so thats also nice.its going great and i am truly grateful. had a bit of a dilemma 2 days before thoug...	Megthompson	8	842	Jul 21, 2011 by Megthompson
	Advice and support needed ASAP ! (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to this so hopefully this posts right. Anyway, I am feeling really depressed lately, while at the same time I am also very relieved. It is a kind of bitter sweet feeling. My boyfriend of 3 years, who I have been trying to help with his alcohol addiction ever since I discovered his prob...	alanonnewbie	6	618	Jul 21, 2011 by Pushka
	zzzzzz's (Preview) Good morning yall, I don't know about you guys but last night when I went to sleep, someone took my peaceful brain and substituted squirrel cage thinking in there. I have no idea what I was dreaming of, but it sure feel like there was a lot of activity going on. The committee in my head apparently had a gr...	tommyecat	10	590	Jul 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Officially divorced as of this morning! (Preview) I haven't had a good sob yet, but I feel it coming on. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time walking out of the courthouse. It all feels so bittersweet right now after 15 years of my exAH being a main part of my life. I have been counting down since I filed in February and now it came to pass. I even sho...	flopadopilus	12	789	Jul 21, 2011 by KLotus
	Irrational Alcoholic & Me Too !! Grr (Preview) there's a sticker i read recently that says, "never listen to the things you tell yourself when you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, etc.," Great sticker, but tonight it's pretty hard. Trying to keep the focus on me and Not the alcoholic but failing miserably. Keep being the key word .. I...	MeTwo2	7	4717	Jul 21, 2011 by MeTwo2
	recovery on TV (Preview) I don't know what y'all think but I am happy when recovery is mentioned on TV. I find it very refreshing! I was watching a show yesterday(let it be nameless) that mentioned AA more than once & that the gal is in recovery from alcohol/drug addiction--anyhow, she took her father to an AA meeting &...	Hoot Nanny	4	686	Jul 20, 2011 by All I can be
	How long does Detox take? (Preview) My AH was brought, by ambulance into the hospital. He had been drinking and taking ambien...he was hallucinating and raving. Two days later he is still not rational but he is ranting the wants to go home. We don't live together anymore he lives by himself...Can they release him? He wont go into treatme...	alexmaui	6	556	Jul 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	Snooping (Preview) Hi, everybody.. A few minutes ago I put the word 'snooping' in this board's search engine, and I was amazed at how enlightening it was for me to read the posts. It was as if people were channeling me and what I was feeling and doing. To make a long story short, I'd lately been compulsively snooping on m...	AnnieMar	18	1003	Jul 20, 2011 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.