Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

parfait624 · parfait624

I haven't been on here for a while. I have been out trying to live my life and not think about my ABF. The last time I spoke to him was the end of May, he said that I was stalking him and that I was crazy. Then two seconds later he said when I get too close he has to run for a while and he feels like he is losing God....

stephaniej · stephaniej

Two weeks ago I lost my job. No severance, and my former employer is going to fight my unemployment claim. I have been considering leaving my AH. Unfortunately, these events will make that impossible. As any one of us could have predicted, his drinking is escalating. I have reason to believe tha...

Jennifer · Jennifer

OK yes me and the moostiff have been cooped up inside with the air conditioning for a few days now so granted his actions and my thoughts are getting a bit goofy ... but ... This morning every time my music cycle has turned to a specific song he starts barking and dancing around the house. Since it seems he h...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Last night at my home group meeting, I was talking after the meeting with my alanon friend and a gentleman. The man is a self proclaimed double winner, that white knuckled it for 23 years before he came to AA and Alanon which he says makes it easier to not drink (7 years ago he came to the meetings). He was...

Lyne · Lyne

Ok so I pushed my spouse to make an appt. with the CASAC, I asked her if she made a 2nd one, I want her to change, I need our marriage to change, and I know all this thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong. I need a brain tune-up. I know the Serenity Prayer. I know I can only change myself. I still want her to change ...

hoyasfan123 · hoyasfan123

My mom just kicked my alcoholic dad out of the house. He went to rehab about 2 months ago, but relapsed, and so she kept her word. My question is - do I contact him to talk about it? Let him feel alone for awhile so (hopefully) he realizes the consequences? This sucks...he just visited me, and seemed to be do...

ifa · ifa

If my qualifier doesn't call me after a certain amount of time -- say 12 hours -- I start to worry that he never will. Then I get a feeling of intense sorrow. If I try calling him and he doesn't answer, it gets worse and worse. I wonder if this is simply because I love him and we don't live together? Or does it me...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi all just an update on 3rd al anon face to face meeting i lusaka, zambia, africa. attendance was back up to 4 with one new person which was great.its not so scary taking the meetings as it was 2 meetings ago so thats also nice.its going great and i am truly grateful. had a bit of a dilemma 2 days before thoug...

alanonnewbie · alanonnewbie

Hi everyone, I am new to this so hopefully this posts right. Anyway, I am feeling really depressed lately, while at the same time I am also very relieved. It is a kind of bitter sweet feeling. My boyfriend of 3 years, who I have been trying to help with his alcohol addiction ever since I discovered his prob...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Good morning yall, I don't know about you guys but last night when I went to sleep, someone took my peaceful brain and substituted squirrel cage thinking in there. I have no idea what I was dreaming of, but it sure feel like there was a lot of activity going on. The committee in my head apparently had a gr...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I haven't had a good sob yet, but I feel it coming on. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time walking out of the courthouse. It all feels so bittersweet right now after 15 years of my exAH being a main part of my life. I have been counting down since I filed in February and now it came to pass. I even sho...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

there's a sticker i read recently that says, "never listen to the things you tell yourself when you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, etc.," Great sticker, but tonight it's pretty hard. Trying to keep the focus on me and Not the alcoholic but failing miserably. Keep being the key word .. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know what y'all think but I am happy when recovery is mentioned on TV. I find it very refreshing! I was watching a show yesterday(let it be nameless) that mentioned AA more than once & that the gal is in recovery from alcohol/drug addiction--anyhow, she took her father to an AA meeting &...

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH was brought, by ambulance into the hospital. He had been drinking and taking ambien...he was hallucinating and raving. Two days later he is still not rational but he is ranting the wants to go home. We don't live together anymore he lives by himself...Can they release him? He wont go into treatme...

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

Hi, everybody.. A few minutes ago I put the word 'snooping' in this board's search engine, and I was amazed at how enlightening it was for me to read the posts. It was as if people were channeling me and what I was feeling and doing. To make a long story short, I'd lately been compulsively snooping on m...

Jozie · Jozie

Live & Let Live! For me, it has taking these Last 2+ years to really HEAR what this Says to me! Because I thought I was LIVING in the existence of my life, and here I come to find out that I was Only Making Waves! It says in my Book that if I am Living, I need be living Fully, richly, & happily to fulfi...

pineapple · pineapple

It's 5 am here and I've been awake since 3 am. This has been going on for over a week now. I'm tired all day but still have trouble sleeping at night. When I do manage to fall asleep I'm awake again 2 or 3 hours later and can't get back to sleep. I think that it is partly because of the new living arrangement with...

Pushka · Pushka

So I've done a lot of thinking out loud, and last night was a major no sleep zone for me. I know I have to identify what my issue is before I can shut my brain off for the night. After many months of good sleep, it didn't work out so well the past week. I will say so far as I plan on totally sleeping tonight! Da...

Tracy · Tracy

I HATE ALCOHOLISM. sorry my prtner is starting to slip on a regular basis agin after 9 months sobriety it was six months last time. He has done six months rehab, 3 months dry house and now he is drinking on and off and all the crap is starting. I just can not be hurt anymore. I am getting better I m starting...

countrygirl14437 · countrygirl14437

My friend is at 46 days sober and she is struggling today, anyone got a great quote i can send her to help with positivity?

Debilyn · Debilyn

I know why but it is so awful. I went on a discussion list.CL in the disabilities one. All I asked was how are you treated with your service dog. OMGOSH it was horrible! I could not believe how mean, ignorant, rude they were! It was like they were looking for a kitten to kick! Well geez just saying that made m...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello to all: I am believing in my HP to open doors for a new job. It has been a bit challenging emotionally these past days. Whew! I did not expect to feel so much emotional pain. I've been through this road before. Just wanted to share and release it. Hopefully I feel better soon. It just hurts so much. Ha...

Ness · Ness

This popped up in my email this morning.....hope you like it too ....................................................... A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was go...

chinup · chinup

my sister,the only one out of 6 of us started seaking to me agin,couldnt pour sugar on her quick enough that it would melt for over a yr now ,well i allowed her to have yardsales in my yard only for her to run off leavening me with the mess and all the stuff that didnt sale so i called her sevearal times to get it...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello all - I have a story to relate and hopefully some of you will see the humor I do. For 9 months now AH and I have been separated and every time he gets mad at me (with increasing frequency) everything bad in his life is my fault. It's like he's got a tape recorder set on a loop replaying the same ole same ole...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I feel kind of sad today, I guess meloncholly(spelling?) really. I feel like a need a hug. Does that make sense? LOL... I talked to my alanon friend and I think this week I am going to ask her to sponsor me. I will see her Wednesday. I feel it should be done in person and not over the phone. I guess I am s...

Pushka · Pushka

I am giving myself a very big pat on the back because I made a very conscious decision not to turn this into the DUI, I'm right your wrong weekend. HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?! It wasn't .. lol. Oh my that would have been so easy to do and I admit I had the itch a couple of times. It's more important to me to allow the...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Does anyone here love to laugh? Here are a few one liners that just set me off into the stratosphere when I heard it in a meeting. My experience has been that when I am unwilling to ask for help, and I insist that I can do it all myself, I'm just a drunk talking to a crazy person. I thought I was so cool. T...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am here again taking advantage of the library system on this computer! I have to try to get on here as much as possible because I need to focus on the Alanon program today! I am so grateful that I can be OK sharing about just about anything. My anniversary is tomorrow as I have mentioned in a previous post....

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH has been drunk now going on three weeks. I mean falling down, I think he's dead, drunk. I had moved out but it still haunts me. Last week he called begging me to come and fix the tv...I kind of slipped in my recovery and went over...of course it didn't work..it was unplugged. I plugged it in and fled. Th...

Doozy · Doozy

Hey y'all, I had a wonderful weekend. I am struggling a lot of the time and am only ~6 weeks out of a very serious 3 yr relationship with ABF. Weekends are always the worst because we had great weekends together so much of the time, him and me and his two kids. But, I feel absolutely certain I did my best and th...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

hello everyone! How do you handle a situation when your AH has been in and out of 28 day rehabs for goin on 4 months, this last one (he is currently in at the moment) seems to be like hes getting it? But he has only been their for 2weeks and said if his cravings our gone by the end of the week he is coming home. Wha...

Pushka · Pushka

UGH, I have spent so much time denying emotions and all of a sudden I feel like a tidal wave of crap has hit me. It's like being emotionally over stimulated without the wall to hold it off. The Katrina of emotional mayham. I could really use some ESH please. I have felt good in ways I haven't felt for a lon...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (family)...Just sitting and listening and letting the program and board carry me cause I'm borderline at the moment...right between fences...God's will and my own. I read some literature over the past couple of days and attended two meetings to arrive at that awarness and why I am in b...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have felt so frustrated at times knowing that I know what I am supposed to do, but then putting it off or not doing it at all. Often it is procrastination, but most often it is fear, and avoidance of the discomfort that is the inevitable result. I finally took a step forward and now am sitting with my feel...

Jozie · Jozie

Having one of those "MELLO" Moments and truly don't know what to do with myself..lol.. It is like the "DramaMeter" has Dropped and I Can see light at the end of the tunnel.. And the FUNNY thing is... NOTHING has really happened, other then the Weather is Beautiful and suppose to b...

maresie · maresie

I am working a lot at the moment so do not have as much time to come to this site. I miss you all. A short update. I am 5 years out from leaving the ex A in financial ruin. The aftermath has been a roller coaster of managing debt, disappointments, grief, rage and acceptance. I'm now working a lot 2 jobs an...

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

Hi, everybody.. For years I used to needle my husband <who had quit drinking, but who had also quit going to meetings> that he seemed 'fake.' Don't get me wrong, he's a great person, and he wasn't mistreating me or anything, but there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I'm the type...

sharisdaughter · sharisdaughter

Hello all, I just found out my mom is drinking/taking pills again after 15 years sober. I am utterly destroyed by this. I was 17 when she quit- I thought we were long past this. We are here visiting from Denmark (my husband is Danish) and in the last several days I just knew something was the matter, but I ho...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Quote from July 17th reading in Courage to Change: "You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not....As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." -- Edited by Green Eyes on Sunda...

KLotus · KLotus

Happy Monday Everyone! Last week I attended only one al-anon meeting, though obviously I have been on this message board several times weekly. I do some al-anon reading every day. I try to remember to pray every morning, at the very least. There are weeks when I am able to attend 2-3 meetings. The c...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone,I am confused about how my father could have been so successful at his job, yet as an alcoholic parent, failed me and my brothers and sister so badly as a parent. He taught high school and it seems whenever I met any of his current or former students they always said he was the best teacher I eve...

mslouise · mslouise

The other night I sat across from a kid...getting arrested for spray painting on some builidings. He is 15. They sat him in the corner, while waiting on his mom and stepdad to come down, to start some questioning . As he sat there, with his long hair, skinny long arms, wiggling and nervous....I co...

Katy · Katy

When my pre programme twin turns up I want to be both, and I want it NOW! I want the people I love to just get it, I just get used to one situation and it changes, I am not always ready and prepared for those changes, they don't take place in my time scale and I get frustrated and panick and become fearful, I get a...

ifa · ifa

Esma is an old friend who now lives far away, and occasionally we write or talk on the phone. She is an ACOA, and I doubt she ever went to any 12 step meetings. Recently we were emailing and I wrote and told her about the big wedding that my whole family of origin is attending in a couple of weeks. I told her I am...

bethlibart · bethlibart

I am also brand new to this forum/website (just discovered it today). I am an alcoholic, 12 years sober, one day at a time. I am finding that I definitely NEED Al-Anon as I am DEFINITELY am an enabler. I enabled my ex-husband for 25 years and when I got some help and decided not to do it any more, he ended th...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I can't seem to get past the feelings of anger towards my wife and this situation. I can't seem to get past the lying. I'm really trying but I just can't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my mind. At my meeting this week, a woman said something amazing about how we feel. She said the program has taugh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family...just got thru reading Annie M's post on the Alcoholic taking her Xanax meds and am in the process again of reading the Publication Al-Anon Faces Alcooholism which is very very informative and supportive of awareness for the spouse, relative or friends and associates of an alcoh...

Pushka · Pushka

I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end. If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him. Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!! Come October I am free, it's all on him! The infamous offer has arrived and I am so r...

Pauly · Pauly

Hello all: I have been married for 11 years and have been with my wife since we were seniors in high school. For the past five years she has been drinking and it has gotten progressively worse. She has been to rehab 4 times( both inpatient and out patient) and is now in an outpatient program. So much has bee...

zpo · zpo

My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance. Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see? Nothing I say is working! -- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM

AnnieMar · AnnieMar

My husband hasn't had a drink in 18 years, but a couple of days ago he confessed that for a year he's been stealing my prescription Xanax. I have an anxiety disorder, but I take Xanax so rarely that I hadn't noticed that the bottle was almost empty. The good thing is that he's started going to meetings a...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Married 8 years ago, went into marriage knowing my AH was moody and a bit irriesponsible, he was also funny, loving and devoted. It wasn't until our 6th year of marriage that I found out he was an addict to several things. He got counseling, started AA, things seemed to be better. He relapsed since, reco...

clep · clep

Today I went to the bank and moved my bank account to the branch I usually deal with. I changed my pin again, got a new card etc. I told my A that after his cheque I put in my bank today he has to get his own bank account and use that. He uses my account as my cash back limit is high. I let him know that I have high li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

With only a few minutes to be on here, I just want to say THANKS to all of you who CARE! I am so grateful to those who are almost always there to pick me up when I fall down & that is sometimes very HARD! I have been spending most of my time on here trying to get something going on this computer; I am still usin...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I know nobody can TELL me what to say.... but I'd sure like opinoins, suggestions and past experiences about how to respond to a statement made by ABF. I received a very long letter from him today. A little good. A little bad. Of course lots of promises. But I need help with one particular thing.... T...

rara avis · rara avis

For those of you in the know, I'm wondering if an A or Recovering A's self focus and blame ever ends? Or goes in cycles, or ?? What's helped w/dealing with it also would be most helpful! [ Never mind my OWN self pity and blame ;) ha! ] My BF is in recovery - 7 yrs - but his sole topic of conversation is himself,...

HarleyRyder · HarleyRyder

Well I have been informed by my AW that she is getting out of the facility she is in on the 22nd. As stated earlier I work out of state and she is going to her mothers house for a couple of weeks. The problem is that the counselor and I agree that she is not ready and needs to continue in a extended care facility...

Pushka · Pushka

I heard from my "I hate alanon" friend .. lol .. she actually called, I was hesitant to take the call at first. We had a really good conversation. Something she heard in my voice was even though things are not totally right at the moment, my husband and I are dealing with a couple extra things...

KLotus · KLotus

Hello again everyone! I have a couple of questions: I am working on trying to set boundaries with my alcoholic husband, particularly regarding the way he talks to me so unkindly. A counselor challenged me to do this, and said that there need to be consequences as a result. However, as in the past, my h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Not Again! (Preview) I haven't been on here for a while. I have been out trying to live my life and not think about my ABF. The last time I spoke to him was the end of May, he said that I was stalking him and that I was crazy. Then two seconds later he said when I get too close he has to run for a while and he feels like he is losing God....	parfait624	10	532	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
	Drowning (Preview) Two weeks ago I lost my job. No severance, and my former employer is going to fight my unemployment claim. I have been considering leaving my AH. Unfortunately, these events will make that impossible. As any one of us could have predicted, his drinking is escalating. I have reason to believe tha...	stephaniej	5	404	Jul 22, 2011 by Otie
	The Moostiif Says I'm Beautiful (Preview) OK yes me and the moostiff have been cooped up inside with the air conditioning for a few days now so granted his actions and my thoughts are getting a bit goofy ... but ... This morning every time my music cycle has turned to a specific song he starts barking and dancing around the house. Since it seems he h...	Jennifer	3	640	Jul 22, 2011 by Pushka
	Your perspective? (Preview) Last night at my home group meeting, I was talking after the meeting with my alanon friend and a gentleman. The man is a self proclaimed double winner, that white knuckled it for 23 years before he came to AA and Alanon which he says makes it easier to not drink (7 years ago he came to the meetings). He was...	youfoundme	12	574	Jul 21, 2011 by maryjane
	Did everything wrong (Preview) Ok so I pushed my spouse to make an appt. with the CASAC, I asked her if she made a 2nd one, I want her to change, I need our marriage to change, and I know all this thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong. I need a brain tune-up. I know the Serenity Prayer. I know I can only change myself. I still want her to change ...	Lyne	6	531	Jul 21, 2011 by maryjane
	kicked out (Preview) My mom just kicked my alcoholic dad out of the house. He went to rehab about 2 months ago, but relapsed, and so she kept her word. My question is - do I contact him to talk about it? Let him feel alone for awhile so (hopefully) he realizes the consequences? This sucks...he just visited me, and seemed to be do...	hoyasfan123	8	581	Jul 21, 2011 by hoyasfan123
	hurt hurt hurt (Preview) If my qualifier doesn't call me after a certain amount of time -- say 12 hours -- I start to worry that he never will. Then I get a feeling of intense sorrow. If I try calling him and he doesn't answer, it gets worse and worse. I wonder if this is simply because I love him and we don't live together? Or does it me...	ifa	15	635	Jul 21, 2011 by ifa
	update 3rd face to face al anon meeting zambia,africa and advice requested (Preview) hi all just an update on 3rd al anon face to face meeting i lusaka, zambia, africa. attendance was back up to 4 with one new person which was great.its not so scary taking the meetings as it was 2 meetings ago so thats also nice.its going great and i am truly grateful. had a bit of a dilemma 2 days before thoug...	Megthompson	8	782	Jul 21, 2011 by Megthompson
	Advice and support needed ASAP ! (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to this so hopefully this posts right. Anyway, I am feeling really depressed lately, while at the same time I am also very relieved. It is a kind of bitter sweet feeling. My boyfriend of 3 years, who I have been trying to help with his alcohol addiction ever since I discovered his prob...	alanonnewbie	6	550	Jul 21, 2011 by Pushka
	zzzzzz's (Preview) Good morning yall, I don't know about you guys but last night when I went to sleep, someone took my peaceful brain and substituted squirrel cage thinking in there. I have no idea what I was dreaming of, but it sure feel like there was a lot of activity going on. The committee in my head apparently had a gr...	tommyecat	10	524	Jul 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Officially divorced as of this morning! (Preview) I haven't had a good sob yet, but I feel it coming on. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time walking out of the courthouse. It all feels so bittersweet right now after 15 years of my exAH being a main part of my life. I have been counting down since I filed in February and now it came to pass. I even sho...	flopadopilus	12	730	Jul 21, 2011 by KLotus
	Irrational Alcoholic & Me Too !! Grr (Preview) there's a sticker i read recently that says, "never listen to the things you tell yourself when you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, etc.," Great sticker, but tonight it's pretty hard. Trying to keep the focus on me and Not the alcoholic but failing miserably. Keep being the key word .. I...	MeTwo2	7	4189	Jul 21, 2011 by MeTwo2
	recovery on TV (Preview) I don't know what y'all think but I am happy when recovery is mentioned on TV. I find it very refreshing! I was watching a show yesterday(let it be nameless) that mentioned AA more than once & that the gal is in recovery from alcohol/drug addiction--anyhow, she took her father to an AA meeting &...	Hoot Nanny	4	619	Jul 20, 2011 by All I can be
	How long does Detox take? (Preview) My AH was brought, by ambulance into the hospital. He had been drinking and taking ambien...he was hallucinating and raving. Two days later he is still not rational but he is ranting the wants to go home. We don't live together anymore he lives by himself...Can they release him? He wont go into treatme...	alexmaui	6	501	Jul 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	Snooping (Preview) Hi, everybody.. A few minutes ago I put the word 'snooping' in this board's search engine, and I was amazed at how enlightening it was for me to read the posts. It was as if people were channeling me and what I was feeling and doing. To make a long story short, I'd lately been compulsively snooping on m...	AnnieMar	18	941	Jul 20, 2011 by Pushka
	My Lead :) (Preview) Live & Let Live! For me, it has taking these Last 2+ years to really HEAR what this Says to me! Because I thought I was LIVING in the existence of my life, and here I come to find out that I was Only Making Waves! It says in my Book that if I am Living, I need be living Fully, richly, & happily to fulfi...	Jozie	2	1212	Jul 20, 2011 by youfoundme
	OT-help for insomnia? (Preview) It's 5 am here and I've been awake since 3 am. This has been going on for over a week now. I'm tired all day but still have trouble sleeping at night. When I do manage to fall asleep I'm awake again 2 or 3 hours later and can't get back to sleep. I think that it is partly because of the new living arrangement with...	pineapple	12	781	Jul 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	Responsibility (Preview) So I've done a lot of thinking out loud, and last night was a major no sleep zone for me. I know I have to identify what my issue is before I can shut my brain off for the night. After many months of good sleep, it didn't work out so well the past week. I will say so far as I plan on totally sleeping tonight! Da...	Pushka	6	660	Jul 20, 2011 by Doozy
	disease on the attack again, again again (Preview) I HATE ALCOHOLISM. sorry my prtner is starting to slip on a regular basis agin after 9 months sobriety it was six months last time. He has done six months rehab, 3 months dry house and now he is drinking on and off and all the crap is starting. I just can not be hurt anymore. I am getting better I m starting...	Tracy	8	588	Jul 20, 2011 by Doozy
	In need of a positive quote (Preview) My friend is at 46 days sober and she is struggling today, anyone got a great quote i can send her to help with positivity?	countrygirl14437	8	644	Jul 20, 2011 by Unityforall
	Mean and bitter people and stuff (Preview) I know why but it is so awful. I went on a discussion list.CL in the disabilities one. All I asked was how are you treated with your service dog. OMGOSH it was horrible! I could not believe how mean, ignorant, rude they were! It was like they were looking for a kitten to kick! Well geez just saying that made m...	Debilyn	7	655	Jul 19, 2011 by Jennifer
	Facing a layoff isn't easy (Preview) Hello to all: I am believing in my HP to open doors for a new job. It has been a bit challenging emotionally these past days. Whew! I did not expect to feel so much emotional pain. I've been through this road before. Just wanted to share and release it. Hopefully I feel better soon. It just hurts so much. Ha...	hawaiilover	7	417	Jul 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Stress management (Preview) This popped up in my email this morning.....hope you like it too ....................................................... A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was go...	Ness	11	480	Jul 19, 2011 by oldergal
	need to vent,sick n tired of being used by family (Preview) my sister,the only one out of 6 of us started seaking to me agin,couldnt pour sugar on her quick enough that it would melt for over a yr now ,well i allowed her to have yardsales in my yard only for her to run off leavening me with the mess and all the stuff that didnt sale so i called her sevearal times to get it...	chinup	4	483	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	My fault too? (Preview) Hello all - I have a story to relate and hopefully some of you will see the humor I do. For 9 months now AH and I have been separated and every time he gets mad at me (with increasing frequency) everything bad in his life is my fault. It's like he's got a tape recorder set on a loop replaying the same ole same ole...	likemyheart	11	668	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Need a hug (Preview) I feel kind of sad today, I guess meloncholly(spelling?) really. I feel like a need a hug. Does that make sense? LOL... I talked to my alanon friend and I think this week I am going to ask her to sponsor me. I will see her Wednesday. I feel it should be done in person and not over the phone. I guess I am s...	youfoundme	13	619	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Weekend Update .. (Preview) I am giving myself a very big pat on the back because I made a very conscious decision not to turn this into the DUI, I'm right your wrong weekend. HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?! It wasn't .. lol. Oh my that would have been so easy to do and I admit I had the itch a couple of times. It's more important to me to allow the...	Pushka	2	432	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Heard in a meeting (Preview) Does anyone here love to laugh? Here are a few one liners that just set me off into the stratosphere when I heard it in a meeting. My experience has been that when I am unwilling to ask for help, and I insist that I can do it all myself, I'm just a drunk talking to a crazy person. I thought I was so cool. T...	tommyecat	9	585	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	just me again & again! (Preview) I am here again taking advantage of the library system on this computer! I have to try to get on here as much as possible because I need to focus on the Alanon program today! I am so grateful that I can be OK sharing about just about anything. My anniversary is tomorrow as I have mentioned in a previous post....	Hoot Nanny	3	478	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Am i my husbands keeper? (Preview) My AH has been drunk now going on three weeks. I mean falling down, I think he's dead, drunk. I had moved out but it still haunts me. Last week he called begging me to come and fix the tv...I kind of slipped in my recovery and went over...of course it didn't work..it was unplugged. I plugged it in and fled. Th...	alexmaui	9	709	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries question (Preview) Hey y'all, I had a wonderful weekend. I am struggling a lot of the time and am only ~6 weeks out of a very serious 3 yr relationship with ABF. Weekends are always the worst because we had great weekends together so much of the time, him and me and his two kids. But, I feel absolutely certain I did my best and th...	Doozy	6	733	Jul 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared and cautious (Preview) hello everyone! How do you handle a situation when your AH has been in and out of 28 day rehabs for goin on 4 months, this last one (he is currently in at the moment) seems to be like hes getting it? But he has only been their for 2weeks and said if his cravings our gone by the end of the week he is coming home. Wha...	sameoldstuff	8	500	Jul 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Guilt and Shame (Preview) UGH, I have spent so much time denying emotions and all of a sudden I feel like a tidal wave of crap has hit me. It's like being emotionally over stimulated without the wall to hold it off. The Katrina of emotional mayham. I could really use some ESH please. I have felt good in ways I haven't felt for a lon...	Pushka	3	1778	Jul 19, 2011 by Pushka
	Borderline... (Preview) Aloha Ohana (family)...Just sitting and listening and letting the program and board carry me cause I'm borderline at the moment...right between fences...God's will and my own. I read some literature over the past couple of days and attended two meetings to arrive at that awarness and why I am in b...	Jerry F	14	640	Jul 19, 2011 by GailMichelle
	tough love ~ its time (Preview) I have felt so frustrated at times knowing that I know what I am supposed to do, but then putting it off or not doing it at all. Often it is procrastination, but most often it is fear, and avoidance of the discomfort that is the inevitable result. I finally took a step forward and now am sitting with my feel...	Loupiness	12	1321	Jul 19, 2011 by Maura G
	Just for Today! (Preview) Having one of those "MELLO" Moments and truly don't know what to do with myself..lol.. It is like the "DramaMeter" has Dropped and I Can see light at the end of the tunnel.. And the FUNNY thing is... NOTHING has really happened, other then the Weather is Beautiful and suppose to b...	Jozie	6	841	Jul 19, 2011 by Ness
	short update (Preview) I am working a lot at the moment so do not have as much time to come to this site. I miss you all. A short update. I am 5 years out from leaving the ex A in financial ruin. The aftermath has been a roller coaster of managing debt, disappointments, grief, rage and acceptance. I'm now working a lot 2 jobs an...	maresie	6	460	Jul 19, 2011 by Ness
	Being genuine? (Preview) Hi, everybody.. For years I used to needle my husband <who had quit drinking, but who had also quit going to meetings> that he seemed 'fake.' Don't get me wrong, he's a great person, and he wasn't mistreating me or anything, but there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I'm the type...	AnnieMar	17	738	Jul 19, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Mom drinking after 15 years- absolutely devastated (Preview) Hello all, I just found out my mom is drinking/taking pills again after 15 years sober. I am utterly destroyed by this. I was 17 when she quit- I thought we were long past this. We are here visiting from Denmark (my husband is Danish) and in the last several days I just knew something was the matter, but I ho...	sharisdaughter	5	598	Jul 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Just What I Needed for Today letting go Courage to Change (Preview) Quote from July 17th reading in Courage to Change: "You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not....As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." -- Edited by Green Eyes on Sunda...	Green Eyes	4	4207	Jul 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	What is enough? (Preview) Happy Monday Everyone! Last week I attended only one al-anon meeting, though obviously I have been on this message board several times weekly. I do some al-anon reading every day. I try to remember to pray every morning, at the very least. There are weeks when I am able to attend 2-3 meetings. The c...	KLotus	6	545	Jul 19, 2011 by Doozy
	Confused about functioning alcoholic family members (Preview) Hi Everyone,I am confused about how my father could have been so successful at his job, yet as an alcoholic parent, failed me and my brothers and sister so badly as a parent. He taught high school and it seems whenever I met any of his current or former students they always said he was the best teacher I eve...	Patk	9	758	Jul 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Hug your kids (Preview) The other night I sat across from a kid...getting arrested for spray painting on some builidings. He is 15. They sat him in the corner, while waiting on his mom and stepdad to come down, to start some questioning . As he sat there, with his long hair, skinny long arms, wiggling and nervous....I co...	mslouise	4	498	Jul 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Do I want to be right or happy? (Preview) When my pre programme twin turns up I want to be both, and I want it NOW! I want the people I love to just get it, I just get used to one situation and it changes, I am not always ready and prepared for those changes, they don't take place in my time scale and I get frustrated and panick and become fearful, I get a...	Katy	7	671	Jul 18, 2011 by xeno59
	denial? (Preview) Esma is an old friend who now lives far away, and occasionally we write or talk on the phone. She is an ACOA, and I doubt she ever went to any 12 step meetings. Recently we were emailing and I wrote and told her about the big wedding that my whole family of origin is attending in a couple of weeks. I told her I am...	ifa	10	617	Jul 18, 2011 by ifa
	Do not regret my past nor wish to shut the door on it (Preview) I am also brand new to this forum/website (just discovered it today). I am an alcoholic, 12 years sober, one day at a time. I am finding that I definitely NEED Al-Anon as I am DEFINITELY am an enabler. I enabled my ex-husband for 25 years and when I got some help and decided not to do it any more, he ended th...	bethlibart	6	960	Jul 18, 2011 by bethlibart
	Trying to feel acceptance, compassion, patience, understanding...instead, feeling anger, disgust, even hatred (Preview) I can't seem to get past the feelings of anger towards my wife and this situation. I can't seem to get past the lying. I'm really trying but I just can't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my mind. At my meeting this week, a woman said something amazing about how we feel. She said the program has taugh...	usedtobeanyer	8	832	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism (Preview) Aloha MIP Family...just got thru reading Annie M's post on the Alcoholic taking her Xanax meds and am in the process again of reading the Publication Al-Anon Faces Alcooholism which is very very informative and supportive of awareness for the spouse, relative or friends and associates of an alcoh...	Jerry F	5	497	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Finally!! (Preview) I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end. If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him. Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!! Come October I am free, it's all on him! The infamous offer has arrived and I am so r...	Pushka	5	582	Jul 17, 2011 by Pushka
	newbie- confused & angry (Preview) Hello all: I have been married for 11 years and have been with my wife since we were seniors in high school. For the past five years she has been drinking and it has gotten progressively worse. She has been to rehab 4 times( both inpatient and out patient) and is now in an outpatient program. So much has bee...	Pauly	4	611	Jul 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Please help explain car insurance enabling cell phone (Preview) My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance. Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see? Nothing I say is working! -- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM	zpo	7	10363	Jul 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Question about relapse (Preview) My husband hasn't had a drink in 18 years, but a couple of days ago he confessed that for a year he's been stealing my prescription Xanax. I have an anxiety disorder, but I take Xanax so rarely that I hadn't noticed that the bottle was almost empty. The good thing is that he's started going to meetings a...	AnnieMar	7	631	Jul 17, 2011 by AnnieMar
	Not Sure How I got here (Preview) Married 8 years ago, went into marriage knowing my AH was moody and a bit irriesponsible, he was also funny, loving and devoted. It wasn't until our 6th year of marriage that I found out he was an addict to several things. He got counseling, started AA, things seemed to be better. He relapsed since, reco...	surfgirl123	9	617	Jul 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Yippee. Financial freedom on the way (Preview) Today I went to the bank and moved my bank account to the branch I usually deal with. I changed my pin again, got a new card etc. I told my A that after his cheque I put in my bank today he has to get his own bank account and use that. He uses my account as my cash back limit is high. I let him know that I have high li...	clep	5	391	Jul 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	I only have a minute... (Preview) With only a few minutes to be on here, I just want to say THANKS to all of you who CARE! I am so grateful to those who are almost always there to pick me up when I fall down & that is sometimes very HARD! I have been spending most of my time on here trying to get something going on this computer; I am still usin...	Hoot Nanny	4	415	Jul 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need assitance with a response... (Preview) I know nobody can TELL me what to say.... but I'd sure like opinoins, suggestions and past experiences about how to respond to a statement made by ABF. I received a very long letter from him today. A little good. A little bad. Of course lots of promises. But I need help with one particular thing.... T...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	706	Jul 16, 2011 by All I can be
	Does the self focus ever end, or cycle around, or..?? (Preview) For those of you in the know, I'm wondering if an A or Recovering A's self focus and blame ever ends? Or goes in cycles, or ?? What's helped w/dealing with it also would be most helpful! [ Never mind my OWN self pity and blame ;) ha! ] My BF is in recovery - 7 yrs - but his sole topic of conversation is himself,...	rara avis	3	464	Jul 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Prescription Meds Update (Preview) Well I have been informed by my AW that she is getting out of the facility she is in on the 22nd. As stated earlier I work out of state and she is going to her mothers house for a couple of weeks. The problem is that the counselor and I agree that she is not ready and needs to continue in a extended care facility...	HarleyRyder	7	491	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Funny how it is ... (Preview) I heard from my "I hate alanon" friend .. lol .. she actually called, I was hesitant to take the call at first. We had a really good conversation. Something she heard in my voice was even though things are not totally right at the moment, my husband and I are dealing with a couple extra things...	Pushka	7	546	Jul 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries, sponsors, etc... (Preview) Hello again everyone! I have a couple of questions: I am working on trying to set boundaries with my alcoholic husband, particularly regarding the way he talks to me so unkindly. A counselor challenged me to do this, and said that there need to be consequences as a result. However, as in the past, my h...	KLotus	17	663	Jul 15, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.