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AA Speaker Tape - John F. (Tri City Conference 2011)
(Preview)
I place here a link to the AA groups message board, that goes directly to the post of my speaking at the Tri City Conference of AA, on Oct 21st, 2011. If you would like to listen to it, please click the link. I just prefer to not place AA material such as this on the Al-Anon board. If you listen to it, and woul...
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John
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11
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3480
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Seeing a therapist
(Preview)
Had a 1st appointment with a psychologist today. My sponsor's been recommending that for a while. It went OK, and the doctor seemed nice, but I'm really scared he'll think I'm a chronic whiner who's just wasting his time when his other patients have *real* problems... I've decided to stick it out for a...
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atheos
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8
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410
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What am I sooo afraid of?
(Preview)
My spouse's car is in the shop - it has been so many times over the past few months. The mechanic he goes to is across town. I've been more then willing to take him to drop his car off and pick him up many times. His car problems are a sore issue. It was another one of his purchases that was made out of impul...
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amills4294
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13
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477
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not having your buttons pushed
(Preview)
i was on the receiving end of my mums verbal and physical abuse from an early age- thrugh to my teens and then into my twenties and early thirties. you react to criticism and negativity when you are too yung to know better- and in yur teens you deffinitely do...but somewhere along the lines it dawned on m...
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rosielee
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7
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422
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WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO IGNORANT; JUST SAYING!
(Preview)
As you can see by my angry face--I am frustrated by the ignorance & lack of knowledge that some people have about the Alanon program! I went to a VA hospital yesterday & wanted to just leave some literature. A big-wig not so nice lady told me that it was SOLICITATION! They have AA meetings actual...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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468
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Disengaging and Trying Not to Live in Future Wreckage
(Preview)
My AH and I are separated, but remain in close contact. Hes in AA and has a sponsor. Hes been sober since his last binge drove him insane (but to 2 week rehab) 3+ months ago. This binge also led to him to losing his job - a very good job that he worked hard to get. He'd only been there 10 months. However, whi...
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nyc018
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6
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1111
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Step 4 Work ... I Judge the Judgmental
(Preview)
I have been praying deeply to God to grant me compassion for all people. I am letting go of the judgements I make and asking God to fill my judgmental attitude with compassion instead. I make progress than I take steps backward. I most judgmental over those who judge haha.. this is the irony. They mak...
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Michelle814
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1
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459
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Hitting my own low point
(Preview)
I've been struggling with the program so much lately. I think what is challenging me most is having my AH home, after he was working 600 miles away for 7 months. It was so much easier to detach when he was gone... Anyway, I hit my own new low point on Sunday night. Nobody had slept much, because my younge...
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stephaniej
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10
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388
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Suffering from the second arrow
(Preview)
so yah, my bf and I, we broke up -- that hurts ALOT -- tara brach (buddhist teacher) says that is the first arrow...the event that causes us pain what causes us (me) suffering comes from the second arrow --the thoughts that include "I wasn't good enough in bed" or "I wasn't funny enough...
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rehprof
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16
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484
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Ending a marriage during Act III of the Merry Go Round Named Denial
(Preview)
For those of you that have read the phamplet "Alcoholism, a merry go round named denial", my husband and I (my A) are in Act III and I've clearly been the role of provoker during our marriage. During Act II a few months ago, I had changed my role. I entered Al-Anon. I made him get his own bank...
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mehere80
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12
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1126
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One good day does not always lead to another :)
(Preview)
I am happy I had a good day yesterday. I enjoyed the time with my daughter. I tried to chant the serenity prayer when I felt challenged and it helped. I continued to try to turn things over to my HP. I am challenged by my spouse and his rollercoaster of emotions. I believe it boils down to the fact that he...
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amills4294
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7
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512
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Surrounded by Miracles
(Preview)
I went to visit my husband in rehab on Saturday and it was amazing!!! Over the past two and a half weeks of him being away I have had, what they refer to as, a spiritual awakening. I have never experienced one before. I now talk to my HP all the time. I yell, I cry, I laugh, I talk and the amazing thing is......
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Michelle814
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6
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1324
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worthless reject
(Preview)
The world seems like it's trying to make me feel worthless, but I am still not really convinced. I am 59 but I don't feel old and actually I feel better than I ever did. I have loved the same guy since I was 13, but he is still non-committal. I think after all these years, his eyes should light up when he sees me...
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ifa
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14
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604
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Chat Room and Meetings
(Preview)
Is the chat room still open and are there still online meetings there? I have been trying for several days to get in there no luck any help I'm not to computer smart Thanks.
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kydee
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2
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311
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"You're my best friend, dad..."
(Preview)
Wow, had a real eye opener today from my 3 year old son. The last few days have been rough, what with my wife drinking & lying about it again. I'm not doing a very good job of keeping my side of the street clean as this is happening, however, and I find myself just full of rage after my alcoholic continues...
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usedtobeanyer
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14
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617
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ESH please!
(Preview)
Ive been active in al-anon for about a year & a half. I also used to post here but just recently got new login info. Anyhow- My A and I have a young child together & have been together for 3 years. Hes been in and out of the program. The last relapse was pretty bad and I simply couldnt handle talking to...
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grantmeserenity
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13
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8052
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better
(Preview)
It's been quite a weekend. I cried for the past three days. Saturday I was exhausted from working, and from the emotional meltdown I've been going through. But I slept well that night, first time in a while. Yesterday I walked the dogs and didn't do any work except what I wanted to do. I putzed in the garde...
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pineapple
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9
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344
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Sons Newest Wife
(Preview)
Hey there. Long story, try to be short. Son is a lifer in military. He was divorced, and rebounded quickly. The new girl was murdered, he was a mess. He deployed, and resorted to a dating service online, Met a couple of girls. One, we liked, a Lot. Still too soon though, needed to heal. Next one h...
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Grace7
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1
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374
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A PM From RLC
(Preview)
RLC and I had a special relationship that all the miles between us couldn't dampen at all. One day recently he sent me the following PM and I truly think it reflects clearly the kind of man he was. **************November 6th Reply DeleteRLC John, I hope you are doing well.....and taking care of y...
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John
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10
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521
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Please listen to John's share, its soooo amazing!
(Preview)
you can just sign in to the AA board to hear it. Its ez. I promise you won't be sorry! I learned so so very much!
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Debilyn
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0
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258
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concerned for my a/d b/f
(Preview)
he had been having back problems lower back pain and bleeding alot in his urin went to er they sent him to a urologist and he sent him back to er for more test ,plus he has alot of fluid builup in one of his testicles and a hole in his stomck lineing which r not concerned about right now they ruled out any kidne...
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lookingup
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4
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340
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This way of life... Boring??
(Preview)
I once thought my pitiful life had been reduced to waking up, drinking coffee, saying a prayer, going to work, coming home, taking a shower, eating, going to a meeting, coming home, watching some tv, going to bed and .....waking up, drinking coffee, saying a prayer, going to work, coming home, taking...
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John
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8
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787
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New to posting
(Preview)
Hi- I am new to posting, i do attend meetings although I haven't been faithful about going. Long story short my husband and I have a 22 yr old son who has been in and out of treatment and jail. He got out of his last court ordered treatment Nov 1, 2011 after being there for 6 months prior to going he spent 4 mont...
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debbiems
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7
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556
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it is the ones with the sorest throats who have done the most singing
(Preview)
"But you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living. Because it is the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing." -Bright Eyes I've been through the ringer, man. I can smile and tell you I am so grateful for it. In May I had a miscarriage, then August 30...
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Michelle814
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4
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267
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Someone suggested that I introduce myself...
(Preview)
Someone sent me a message that my "posts are deep, thoughtful," but nobody knows who I am. He also wrote please introduce yourself to us - I think you'll find a lot of friends on here. I never thought of introducing myself... rather letting people know who I am through my writings. This is a m...
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Generic Writer
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11
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694
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Not ready for step 4
(Preview)
Met with my sponsor today, to discuss step 3 and prepare for step 4. One of the questions was something along the lines of "Do I trust my higher power to care for me?", and after hearing my answer she said she's not sure I'm ready for the 4th step, that you need to trust a loving, caring higher pow...
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atheos
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11
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473
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encouragement
(Preview)
For weeks now I've been making an effort to be positive, to find what small happiness I can, to get out and do things, see people. Somewhere yesterday I lost the will to even make those efforts. I am so tired and sad and alone. This morning I will make myself get dressed and go into town. If I don't go to the ma...
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pineapple
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11
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676
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I am obsessing
(Preview)
It is 5am and I layed awake for hours before I got up and had to write a letter to my employer about a mess going on at work. It felt good to get it out and than I thought I would go back to bed, but now the head is on a tangent and now I am obsessing about all that I should be getting done before our trip in 2 days. Man a...
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Breakingfree
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9
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430
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SO, YOUR SON/DAUGHTER HAS LEFT YOUR HOME
(Preview)
You have been Mother/Father to this person/s for all their life. Then they're gone. It does leave a hole in one's heart. They say "love them from afar" what exactly does that mean? If you get another chance to start a different relationship with them, what would that look like? It just seems...
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oldergal
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2
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405
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Hygene
(Preview)
Hi, I was wondering if anyoneelse has troubles with their spouse not showering. Needless to say on those nights nothing romantic happens. It's not all the time just now and then. Sometimes I get him out of bed to have one as I don't want him smelling all night long. Is this poking my nose in where it do...
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Tracey C
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7
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323
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Alcoholics invading our meeting!
(Preview)
First, I just want to say: I have no problem with people in AA coming to Al-Anon if they also have the problem of alcoholism in a friend or family member and are coming to Al-Anon because of that. That is perfectly OK. What I *do* have a problem with is people from local halfway houses who "just want to...
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atheos
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12
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635
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slowly beginning to work
(Preview)
With all of the resources I've tapped into in the past year or so (Alanon only past few months) I'm starting to feel more grounded - more aware and am feeling some growth. I know I have a loooong way to go and life will always be a place for growth but maybe it won't always be a struggle. :) I've been turning t...
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amills4294
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2
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372
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How can "no" have so many words...
(Preview)
I've been thinking about how a toddler can firmly and simply say "no" all by himself, over and over again, and mean it, but most attempts by me turn into a dissertation. The biggest cause of and problem with this, is that my al-anon heart and my mama heart do not play well together. The progra...
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Loupiness
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4
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633
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I Lied To My Son Today...
(Preview)
http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/i-lied-to-my-son-today/
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Generic Writer
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5
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520
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Rough Evening
(Preview)
I just picked my 22 yr old son from his "friends" house drunk. He called me asking for me to pick him up that he "screwed up" All the way home he was crying and kept telling me how sorry he was. How afraid he was. We live out in the country so it was a long ride home. I really didn't know...
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debbiems
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6
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348
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Back again
(Preview)
Hi everyone I'm not new to this site have been here before a few years ago should have stayed but anyways I'm here now struggling again with a grandson this time man this gets harder and harder. I'm not ready just yet to go into details but I will say this much we had a bad experence about a week ago and I blew e...
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kydee
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5
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316
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Stop the world I want to throw bad tenants OFF.
(Preview)
I bet the tenant dad is A. He just got fired.They said they thought it was time for him to move on.... sigh. he has made up lies and is refusing to pay the rent. so I sent a no cause eviction today. Its nothing they can fight. I will have to live on a very very meager income. Which is fine. I like being frugal and...
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Debilyn
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4
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428
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I changed what could have been a bad day
(Preview)
Hi Its sunday morning here and I am sitting in bed watching cartoons, have my coffee and one of my cats and my two miniature chihuahuas here with me. Hubby is out fishing. I woudl like to talk about yesterday and how I started my day again at lunch time. I have learnt from here that I can start again at any...
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Lindaoakford
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2
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346
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Does time still heal if you stay?
(Preview)
When you first realized or accepted the full extent of your addict's addiction (particularly for those of you whose addict is your spouse or child), did you experience intense emotional pain? I've always known my husband had a "problem," but it rarely interfered with our lives and thing...
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jessicat
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13
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507
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Milestones
(Preview)
Last night I had to walk home a mile in the pitch dark with high winds blowing braches, debris all over. I was all scratched up. Normally I would long to have someone around to help me through it. These days I am willing to wait until I can find the right person rather than grab onto the next available per...
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orchidlover
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5
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257
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this is my topic: patience!
(Preview)
Patience has been on my mind lately. I have had to be patient for 4 weeks+ every since my step-mom died. I guess it has been a rough road. I am up too darn early & have to wait sometimes hours to talk to someone--including my husband--this leads to frustration that sometimes leads to resentment. I onl...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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716
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Sometimes I have to laugh at myself
(Preview)
Tonight when I got home I noticed AH had only drank 9 beers and 1/2 a bottle of wine. My first thought: "Wow, its a light drinking night." Yeah, I know. But, most nights it is 12-24 beers plus whatever he is hiding or whatever he drank before he got home. I had to laugh at the fact that I live in a wor...
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Very Very Tired
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5
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337
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Hi all!
(Preview)
I just wanted to say hi and post an update...I have been here reading but not responding. I wanted to just listen for awhile. :) Life has been amazing though and I can't complain, not anymore :) I have found that putting negative thoughts out of my mind, by saying to the thoughts "you are not wel...
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youfoundme
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8
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295
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Parent's Handbook To Stop Home Visit AWOLs: Part I
(Preview)
Many parents ask what they can do to stop their child from AWOL'ing while on a home visit from a residential treatment center (RTC). It's a great question, considering it's the biggest fear and reality facing every parent in that situation. Heres the answer: Nothing. That's it. Nothing. Short o...
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Generic Writer
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3
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549
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what is normal?
(Preview)
what should i be like? ive been single since i had my son- he is getting on for 17 now, the reality of it is- i think im in danger of losing my c hance and staying like this forever. ive covered up the damage by thinking this is normal- to live withut a relationship forever because im strong and independent- d...
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rosielee
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17
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720
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i have decided that guy had a personality disorder
(Preview)
re- the thread below "whats normal" where i got pestered by this guy at work. ive been thinking about it- i wont think abut it more beyond tday and im already moved on- but i have thought- he had a full on personality disorder- i think- i guess. the funny thing is- after living with one- why did...
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rosielee
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6
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397
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Experience With Anger
(Preview)
Topic of our meeting today was anger, and I have spent a lot of time today thinking about it. I know anger is a normal emotion...but just the whole dynamic of how it works in my family. I feel like I have let go of the majority of my anger and sadness....I know my husband and I will not be together forever. ...
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KimK
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9
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462
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AH and breakdowns ESH
(Preview)
This is my first online share. I do attend a weekly f2f meeting. Wow, so I thought we were on a good track until late last night when he storms out, waking up our six year old with his cursing. He gets back home at 6:00 this morning in a rage. Tears the closet door off, throws things. Meanwhile I practice...
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TLD
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12
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504
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Changes .. lol
(Preview)
Jozie's post about changes got me thinking, .. changes what kind of changes have I gone though .. and all I can is WOW!! This trip really has brought forth some big things for me. Now granted .. lol .. it's only been 3 days I can say that this is one of the best visits with my mom ever. I am not looking for her t...
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Pushka
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3
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420
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My first meeting without RLC
(Preview)
Hey guys. I had my first meeting without RLC Tuesday night. Our topic was feelings. We keep his chair empty with his books there for any newcomers. It was one of the hardest things I think I ever faced. I did not have to face it alone. I had the support of our group there and all the kind words that came from MI...
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MDK
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10
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301
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I Hate Roller Coasters
(Preview)
How ironic that I hate roller coasters and yet my life has become one. Up one day, down the next. Ugh. My AH continues into some kind of mental unhinging. From 3 nights ago, total meltdown rage, to last night total manic high. I am starting to think he has mental illness on top of his addictions or his addic...
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surfgirl123
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6
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346
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A good thing, but so so scary...
(Preview)
My wife called me in the last hour to ask if I could pick up our daughter from preschool. She said she knows she is extremely vulnerable for a relapse today (she's been sober just over a month) and is asking for help. She also called her sponsor and her therapist. She is reaching out and working her program...
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usedtobeanyer
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4
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311
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Growth and awareness can be sooo painful
(Preview)
Of course the Christmas holidays are coming up and I have an 11 yr old daughter and I'm at a crossroads with my spouse. I want her to have an enjoyable holiday with some stability. I've not put any decorations up yet but I would like to for her. It will be a sad thing because of the change in the family dyna...
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amills4294
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5
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445
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Here I go again on my own!
(Preview)
etc! I am so thrilled to have a life full of joy! But this morning I puked 5 times & am bleeding from an unusual place! Get me to the doctor quick! No, seriously, I am OK. I need a complete overhaul--time is kinda wearing me down but I get to this library every chance I get to visit w/ all of you out there! I...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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279
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trying not to be misleading!
(Preview)
Just a quick comment: I am not on my own but my comments are my OWN original & sassy! Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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543
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When will he hit rock bottom?
(Preview)
I am new to this site and get so much comfort from reading everyone's posts. I was dating someone for about a year. When we met he was a recent widower and seemed like a great guy. We lived about 30 miles from each other and only saw each other on weekends. After 4 months I decided to move closer to him and...
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FL_Sunshine
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7
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640
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Hero to zero
(Preview)
It is amazing to me how in a matter of a day or two I went from being, in my AH's eyes, so beautiful and sensational, to now he can barely stand being around me. He hasn't said that, but he has holed himself up, put on the headphones, and won't look me in the eye. When I was the center of his universe a few days a...
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danni
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7
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442
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change made for the better!!
(Preview)
So yesterday I sat down and had a long talk with my Abf about him blowing all his bill money on drugs... I had a boundry set that if he didn't pay his part of the bills that he would have to move out... We were both strangly calm and I told him that he didn't live up to his end of the bargin so he would have to move ou...
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kris10
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8
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294
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Looking for self assessment pamphlet in PDF format
(Preview)
I am looking for self assessment pamphlet in PDF format,to send the link to my friend so she can assess herself if she has been affected by the disease or people around her with the disease. I can not find it in any URL. If some one can give me a helping hand finding this pdf URL.. I looked in http://www.afg...
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mia883
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11
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2362
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The Longest Flight of My Life...
(Preview)
I lied to my son today. It was a firstsave the early tooth fairy and more recent I was perfect when I was your age stories. My fifteen-year-old knows that he can trust me. My word is everything...until today. The two of us are packing to fly to Chicago to attend my best friends sons Bar Mitzvah. Dad, wha...
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Generic Writer
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3
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292
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