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My sister and brother in law have given us custody of their two children due to ROXY abuse. They indicate they are sober however last few instances they have been lethargic, falling asleep even. Their pupils are extremely dialated. They indicate they are going to NA and are working the program. THey have unsupervised contact with their kids weekly. No problems reported yet. What should we do? I dont know what to do.
It sounds as if there are two issues here: what to do about the kids, and what to do in a larger sense. About the kids, how old are they? What is the court arrangement for access? If the custody/access order needs to be amended, I would think it would be important to consult your lawyer.
In a larger sense, some Al-Anon meetings might be very helpful if you haven't tried them yet. They say to try six because they're all different. We all need support navigating the difficult territory of dealing with someone with an addiction. Meetings can help us understand what's reasonable, what's possible, and how to restore balance to the chaos that addiction spreads everywhere it goes.
Besides going to Al-Anon for yourself , If you have custody of the children , keep them safe if you feel they are still using insist on supervised visits . We have choices children dont someone has to look after them .Just my opinion . Louise
dont know what roxy is.....is it oxycontin stuff? their kids arent with them- so thats good. falling asleep isnt so bad- its not great- but they arent taking their kids shop lifting or sticking needles in their arms infront of their kids.....so falling asleep or being a bit sleepy wont cause that much agro. maybe its the best of a bad deal.
i would keep lines of communication betwwen you and the kids open- ask them how it went etc during access- yu know how honest kids are- they will drop their parents in it without knowing wont they- so just keep them chatting and youll soon get the picture. if its just general sleepyness etc id leave it- but as soon as something risky comes up- like they were taken into a risk situation- or witnessed needle use etc...id pounce on it like a ton of bricks.
Sounds as if they may be under the influence of something, maybe a prescribed sedative while they are withdrawing?? Who knows........ all A's talk the talk, but you are seeing something that doesn't relate to what is coming out their mouths.
If the children are very young I would be worried about unsupervised visits at this time, if older, as Rosie says keep the lines of communication open, although (unfortunately at times) kids seem to protect their parents regardless of how impaired they are.
I find face to face al-anon meetings very supportive, you may do too.
What a loving aunt you are! Those kids are lucky to have you. Addiction can be so confusing for those of us around it. I have found the support of and information from face to face Al Anon members and meetings invaluable. Glad you found us! I also, if it is possible, suggest trying several different meetings out to find one(s) that feel like the right fit for you. Keep coming back and sending you lots of support!
That Roxy junk is horrid. Yeah it is another form of oxycontin and it seems to be the most easy or common to get on the streets. People progress quick to crushing the pills and snorting them to even injecting them. It is a very powerful addiction. Alanon meetings will help you guys. Do you have a DCF worker involved with the family when you got custody? I guess I hear that your concern is whether or not you are exposing the kids to harm by having them with their parents while they might be under the influence. I have found that it is best to have DCF involved in these instances because you are not the drug addict, you are not the one who couldn't take care of the kids, and you have nothing to hide. It is on them and taking care of the kids is your focus now - not taking care of their parents. They are grown. DCF is the ones who can demand drug testing and can also provide resources for them including rehab.
This is essentially my job. I work with foster kids and most of them have been taken from their parents due to drug abuse. It is a wonderful thing that you are doing to be taking in these children. Hoping you make use of all the resources available.
oh- they probably are on the needle with it then- as most of these users do - in which case- it isnt good- not at all. ive known people who have needles around infront of their kids- i can understand addiction...but that i will never understand. i think its good to be hyper vigilant in this case..and yes get someone else involved...children deserve better. i gave my son better and there is no xcuse not to - there are substitutes for this kind of stuff- in the form of subutex and methadone- so in my book- doing this when you have small children is a pretty bad.
here is the long and short of the story. we call dcf but unfortunately we call them once we have the kids. they won't get involved because the kids are not at risk currently. we think they're using but to be honest none of us are positive. I don't really know the signs and symptoms and they are very good at lying. we won't give them money anymore and neither of them were working so they were asking for gift card for gas. we have all tried to help giving them get gift card for gas but sometimes have a feeling we're still enabling them. I suppose a drug addict could probably still get drugs for a gas card. I probably sound pretty stupid saying these things but I guess I am naive to this world. thank you all so much for your help and support it helps give me a new perspective.
