Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CDK · CDK

NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...

debhud · debhud

my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...

Louisep · Louisep

i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...

CDK · CDK

Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...

Country Boy · Country Boy

Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...

Wanderer · Wanderer

Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...

teachmath · teachmath

I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.

holivex · holivex

I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...

katfshh · katfshh

It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...

tortuga · tortuga

Today wasn't a good day. ABF out of rehab, me available to talk (what was i thinking again??), him torn between 'I hate you' -'i love you', accusing me, that he has been through hell, and all of it just for our love (he was a non-discovered alcoholic when we met, with my presence and awareness he had to come...

Katy · Katy

And so as not to hijack anyones thread, I lay in bed this morning reflecting on my relationships and there was soooooooooooo much I didn't notice about myself when I am busy evaluating everyone else, i can see how ron out it would make a person trying to figure everyone else out and then having such an hig...

Katy · Katy

Maybe this is principles over personalities, I had words with mydaughter last night, I found her to be a little harsh and short with me, so I told her that maybe she needs a change of attitude towards people as she seems to have alot of problems alot of the time, I could never do this before but for her sake a...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been here. Not frequently but reading and trying to sometimes comment. I read my daily readers, ODAT and C2C daily, they are amazing!!! I have my meeting, no matter how tired I am I never regret going!!! Last night I got home after a long day, and I could see it in his eyes, that he wasn't there. It was t...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So tonight was good then turbed bad. Isnt that the way in a active alcohoic marriage.i spent the day on lake without ah...he was working but it was saturday so drinking was involved. Id had a few on the lake too....we met back up around dinner time...it was clear he had "had a few" buf I ignored...

daisy31 · daisy31

How in the world do you detach from and set boundaries with family - that seems to be where I get stuck the most? I have such guilt when it comes it. I would love to hear your experiences and how you do it.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I've been on vacation in FL for the past 2.5 weeks. My 13 year old is currently playing in a top national tennis tournament and he's really enjoying the higher level competition. He lost all his matches but he's got a great attitude and is handling the losses really well. Also, I have been hit on 3 ti...

Outsider · Outsider

After a 30-day treatment and a few months of unsuccesful meetings I finally left my husband when the pain of living became too unbearable. We have two very small children (the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge) and I am completely capable of raising them alone...but the allure of a norm...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, here I go: It is a miracle that my AH is still married to me. Many reasons, many bad experiences to tell but I will be brief because I need to stop bringing up the past like it says in the do's & don'ts. It has been 13 years today since I married my husband on a beautiful sunny day! We started off strong b...

pam2012 · pam2012

As i have said i am very new here but i am lookn for advice n help as to how i can change my life for the better....

Katy · Katy

Let your smile change the world, But don't ever let the world change your smile .

pineapple · pineapple

I don't even know what to title this thread. My A and I have been separated for over a year now. Unfortunately we are still living on the same property, in a foreign country, which we jointly own-the property, not the country :) He is still drinking every day although his health has been rapidly deterior...

All I can be · All I can be

I wish to share todays entry from my journal as follows. I hope it helps someone. I am playing Scrapple and have the following letters remaining: QXWVWZV This is what is left by the time perfectionism takes away the basics. It is all useless by itself. A true perfectionist can not enjoy things and just...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Wow! Today's reading really hit home for my marriage situation... Although my husband is being a jerk... I can't make up my mind what I want and he called me out on it but I didn't believe him until I read today's reading and thought on it...It says, "...At a meeting, I was relating how my spouse was...

Ziola · Ziola

My recovering addict husband and I have been going to couples counseling but sometimes I feel like it's never going to work because it legitimizes his insane behavior. He projects all his frustrations onto me, blaming me, etc. He treats me so disrespectfully I feel like it's bordering on being abusi...

Pushka · Pushka

Thank you so very much for walking with me on this difficult journey. Court was today and I'm a little confused what my STBXA (soon to be ex alcoholic) thought was going to happen? He apparently feels blindsided and I could see a serious look of defeat on him today after court. I am in a really weird pla...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I think timing is everything! I have been noticing how much timing makes a difference in my life lately. I just think about something sometimes & it comes to fruition. I ask & I get! I give & I receive. I am blessed & I am a blessing to others. I have a lot to offer this program &am...

summer242 · summer242

My mom has been drinking for as long as I can remember. Along with her drinking came physical and mental abuse toward everyone else in the house (myself, my sister, and my father). Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with her. When she was sober, she was fun, caring, and lovable. Then when she dran...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Okay, so I am finding myself flirting with the option of divorce. It is an option afterall. I don't have to chose to live like this but I need to know that I am serious about a divorce and not using it as a tool to try and manipulate my AH into being serious about his program/rehab and about us. Honestly, I...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF is finally on the East Coast. Phew! I spoke to his ex wife this am. His very close friend, 13 years sober in the program, picked him up. He told her that my AF is a big mess. (Um...I told them this already, but I guess they had to see if for themselves.) His sober friend is trying to get him to detox there. T...

amills4294 · amills4294

Hello all! I have found that when I get wrapped up in all that is going on or in my recovery that sometimes I forget to take care of my physical well being. I get so wrapped up in the emotional side of it and frankly my brain needs a vacation and my body needs help! LOL... I finally started getting physical...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am having a hard time trying to figure out if I should move back to my hometown where all my friends and family live. I am here in Cali with a great job which I love dearly! I love the peeps I work with and really do enjoy the work I am doing. I dont think I can take this job with me...it would be a longshot to...

g319 · g319

Hoping someone can provide insight on the guilt that an A feels. I'm in my early 40's and a few months ago ran into a girl I knew 20 years ago. We were crazy about each other back in the day, but timing prevented us from ever getting together. I knew she ran into drug and alchol problems and it was one of the fir...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

He called me tonight sobbing. He is having a hard time with his Uncle who is dying and he goes and helps him do things around the house. His uncle has esophageal cancer and it is bring ing up memories for him of helping his Grandpa when he was dying of Lou Gerhig's disease 20 plus years ago. I have known him 1...

Lyne · Lyne

I can't shake the anger @ my mother's friend/caregiver, who is a major A & a control freak. He thinks he's helping but he is actually doing damage. I tried to let it go but sometimes the letting go is easier said than done. I am taking steps with my brother to remedy the situation, and hopefully the...

Carla042 · Carla042

Hi all, just came to read the message board and try to get right for the moment. I know where to come, now if I could only find the strength to reach out sooner rather than later..anyways my DD is back at recovery house after a crazy last few months...too long to go into but safe to say that I'm in the midst of c...

Katy · Katy

Help me so much to understand things from an alchoholics perspective, It is very important to me when you desrcibe the situation from thier eyes, in recovery and not, it helps me to separate myself from exspecting my alchoholic to be on the same page as me, and explains why these realtionships are very...

Shelliebear · Shelliebear

My mom survived 3 weeks of rehab and has been home almost 2 weeks. She's already drinking again and worse my dad is enabling her. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost. She makes a good point--she says, "A person with an eating disorder wouldn't never eat food again." So she thinks she ca...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I'm stubborn and I know it. I like me and my personality but I like knowing my limitations. So through this whole relapse experience with my BF (been going between calling him ABF and RBF.. just going to stick with BF) I've had to really face that I might have made some huge strides in my illness (who am I...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF left this morning. We live on the west coast, he is from the east coast. He left here on a flight about an hour ago. I dropped him off at the airport. He had all of his clothes and pretty much everything he can transport that wasn't furniture or tools. I didn't even give him a hug goodbye. I couldn't even...

Bettina · Bettina

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echo's of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration" These are the words of American writer Pearl S. Buck. Easy for Pear...

Debh · Debh

Hi..first post but been reading for a while..all your posts have been so helpful. Married 15 years. AH left last July..just came back home not to get back together but because he had no where else to go. I've been in therapy for almost a year healing from the insanity of this disease. I have also met an ama...

tortuga · tortuga

Dear all, this is a longer post, but I really needed to get this out of the system.I need a little bit of help here to put things into perspective. I don't know, I keep loosing track. Somehow I know who I was, who I am, and why I'm here. And I started working on the 12 steps, and it slowly helps me to get calm and...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, been reading some of the posts on here and have heard talk about an asset list. It got me thinking one of the big affects that alcoholism has had on myself esteem is I am very critical and blamimg of myself. My ABF had no self esteem and pulled me down often in a very covert manner and this has took it...

JJ21 · JJ21

I feel like I need to go to an AA meeting and give them the third degree. Why, Why, Why...... Any former A's that can help with this would be appreciated...

Katy · Katy

It was always so easy for me to fall back on tired and well worn self pity, it's a been really really hard understanding how I got like this and to have faith that no matter what I can overcome the horriblist of things, I am a person that used to put things off that frightened me to tackle head on, all I ever did...

Amandakay · Amandakay

I think I'm trying to run before I walk. I want answers and I want them now... I am not being patient but I am being forced by my Higher Power to be patient and I don't like it. I just want to know if my marriage will eventually work out or not... but I have to take this all one day at a time. I know my husband is b...

willowtree · willowtree

I am recently back in touch with my parents after a few years of no contact due to family dysfunction ect...and it has been quite healing to reconcile with my parents but here are my issues. 1. How do I set boundaries when I don't know how to set them? My mother is very co dependant and I don't want to get s...

srn2 · srn2

Hi- I am feeling confused and could really use some advice or at least know that others have experienced something like this before and I am not alone. My recoving fiancée doownfall has always been his friends. He is very young, 23 but sought help and went to rehab on his own 2 years ago. He was sober for...

Chaya · Chaya

I'm truly pensive today. I've been spending a lot of time thinking and reading. I'm quiet though. I'm not thrashing about in the ways I have been when im hurt. I can handle this discomfort and sort through it. Maybe it's because I'm thinking now instead of obsessing. I am hurt and angry about my last rela...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is totally a God-thing that I experienced yesterday--the whole day was God showing me that he is there. First of all, I got a call from a lady who is visiting our area. I told her to call me if she got a chance. I ended up spending time talking to her. We have a lot in common. She used to go to Al-anon back when...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I heard someone share in a meeting recently how "their own thinking" was always getting them into trouble in the past, and until they relinquished control and gave up the illusion that they "were in charge" they just continued to struggle and struggle. It was important for me t...

CDK · CDK

Last night before bed, I took a look at some photographs of myself and my kids that were taken about three months before I started dating my exA. Goodness. I was so stinkin' cute. I was thinner. My skin looked great. my posture was awesome. I had done my hair and makeup, and I remember that I used to do it tha...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So out of the 4 guys I went on dates with I have no chemistry with any of them and 3 of them are clingon's, ready to settle into a relationship and own my space and time. Mr. grabby pants and Mr. codependent were already shut down, but today the guy I had a few fun dates with wants to go camping with my 2 kids and h...

Chaya · Chaya

Last night I dreamt of telling my ex on the phone how much he hurt me in the relationship and his inability to love another person, when suddenly his new gf gets on the phone and tells me before abruptly hanging up, "I feel loved by him." I woke up not knowing if it really happened as it was such a r...

Jessamine · Jessamine

I've been attending meetings since August but have struggled with the idea of taking the leap into working the steps. In recent weeks I've come to realize that the promises in step 3 are what I long for. I found a gal I can relate to and we talked a handful of times before I asked her to be my sponsor. We spent...

silent · silent

he has drank ad slept most of day ,decided he wanted a joint to smoke so called up someone he knew that could get him to one ,wanted me to go to drive him and i said no i didnt want to go over to where his freinds were ,he got mad and stomped out ,slammeing the door,he didnt want to drive cause he had been drinknin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A good vent (Preview) NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....	CDK	7	562	Jul 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	I am going to make this quick! (Preview) Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...	Hoot Nanny	0	214	Jul 21, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	sudden surge of anger (Preview) my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...	debhud	5	703	Jul 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	parents addiction (Preview) i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...	Louisep	4	366	Jul 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Brain Fog Heart Fog (Preview) Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...	CDK	2	354	Jul 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A good post for a change of pace (Preview) Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...	Country Boy	6	401	Jul 21, 2012 by katfshh
	Strange (but good) experience... (Preview) Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...	Wanderer	5	490	Jul 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	need advice on dating a man in recovery (Preview) I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...	teachmath	18	723	Jul 21, 2012 by teachmath
	Yup, I'm a mess (Preview) I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...	Country Boy	9	636	Jul 21, 2012 by xeno59
	Mom of an Alcoholic/addicted person (Preview) I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.	Neesabean	5	431	Jul 21, 2012 by xeno59
	AH out of detox, and I filed the papers today (Preview) I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...	holivex	10	704	Jul 21, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Good Days and Bad Days (Preview) It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...	katfshh	9	604	Jul 21, 2012 by katfshh
	A question regarding intimacy and our A's. (Preview) Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	843	Jul 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	just got my ass kicked by ABF (Preview) Today wasn't a good day. ABF out of rehab, me available to talk (what was i thinking again??), him torn between 'I hate you' -'i love you', accusing me, that he has been through hell, and all of it just for our love (he was a non-discovered alcoholic when we met, with my presence and awareness he had to come...	tortuga	12	726	Jul 20, 2012 by katfshh
	On the strength of what I have read here this morning, (Preview) And so as not to hijack anyones thread, I lay in bed this morning reflecting on my relationships and there was soooooooooooo much I didn't notice about myself when I am busy evaluating everyone else, i can see how ron out it would make a person trying to figure everyone else out and then having such an hig...	Katy	1	328	Jul 20, 2012 by hotrod
	sometimes it pays to be the bigger person. (Preview) Maybe this is principles over personalities, I had words with mydaughter last night, I found her to be a little harsh and short with me, so I told her that maybe she needs a change of attitude towards people as she seems to have alot of problems alot of the time, I could never do this before but for her sake a...	Katy	2	438	Jul 20, 2012 by Tracy
	When they know (Preview) I've been here. Not frequently but reading and trying to sometimes comment. I read my daily readers, ODAT and C2C daily, they are amazing!!! I have my meeting, no matter how tired I am I never regret going!!! Last night I got home after a long day, and I could see it in his eyes, that he wasn't there. It was t...	Jackie11	7	606	Jul 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Thinking of leaving.... (Preview) So tonight was good then turbed bad. Isnt that the way in a active alcohoic marriage.i spent the day on lake without ah...he was working but it was saturday so drinking was involved. Id had a few on the lake too....we met back up around dinner time...it was clear he had "had a few" buf I ignored...	Theoceancalls	7	587	Jul 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	How do you detach from family (Preview) How in the world do you detach from and set boundaries with family - that seems to be where I get stuck the most? I have such guilt when it comes it. I would love to hear your experiences and how you do it.	daisy31	7	926	Jul 20, 2012 by daisy31
	LOL, having fun in FL! (Preview) So, I've been on vacation in FL for the past 2.5 weeks. My 13 year old is currently playing in a top national tennis tournament and he's really enjoying the higher level competition. He lost all his matches but he's got a great attitude and is handling the losses really well. Also, I have been hit on 3 ti...	ilovedogs	3	323	Jul 19, 2012 by Inawhirl
	Divorce or not?? (Preview) After a 30-day treatment and a few months of unsuccesful meetings I finally left my husband when the pain of living became too unbearable. We have two very small children (the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge) and I am completely capable of raising them alone...but the allure of a norm...	Outsider	12	641	Jul 19, 2012 by Outsider
	13th anniversary & it is a miracle! (Preview) So, here I go: It is a miracle that my AH is still married to me. Many reasons, many bad experiences to tell but I will be brief because I need to stop bringing up the past like it says in the do's & don'ts. It has been 13 years today since I married my husband on a beautiful sunny day! We started off strong b...	Hoot Nanny	2	356	Jul 19, 2012 by Jackie11
	im very new to this but would like to get to talk to ppl from ireland for support. (Preview) As i have said i am very new here but i am lookn for advice n help as to how i can change my life for the better....	pam2012	1	276	Jul 19, 2012 by hotrod
	these help me:-) (Preview) Let your smile change the world, But don't ever let the world change your smile .	Katy	3	276	Jul 19, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	??????? (Preview) I don't even know what to title this thread. My A and I have been separated for over a year now. Unfortunately we are still living on the same property, in a foreign country, which we jointly own-the property, not the country :) He is still drinking every day although his health has been rapidly deterior...	pineapple	8	915	Jul 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Perfectionism. (Preview) I wish to share todays entry from my journal as follows. I hope it helps someone. I am playing Scrapple and have the following letters remaining: QXWVWZV This is what is left by the time perfectionism takes away the basics. It is all useless by itself. A true perfectionist can not enjoy things and just...	All I can be	3	1481	Jul 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Hope for Today, July 18th's reading - Very Timely (Preview) Wow! Today's reading really hit home for my marriage situation... Although my husband is being a jerk... I can't make up my mind what I want and he called me out on it but I didn't believe him until I read today's reading and thought on it...It says, "...At a meeting, I was relating how my spouse was...	Amandakay	3	3162	Jul 19, 2012 by Amandakay
	Couples counseling (Preview) My recovering addict husband and I have been going to couples counseling but sometimes I feel like it's never going to work because it legitimizes his insane behavior. He projects all his frustrations onto me, blaming me, etc. He treats me so disrespectfully I feel like it's bordering on being abusi...	Ziola	5	609	Jul 18, 2012 by Outsider
	Update part II (Preview) Thank you so very much for walking with me on this difficult journey. Court was today and I'm a little confused what my STBXA (soon to be ex alcoholic) thought was going to happen? He apparently feels blindsided and I could see a serious look of defeat on him today after court. I am in a really weird pla...	Pushka	8	444	Jul 18, 2012 by Neesabean
	one thing to another (Preview) Sometimes I think timing is everything! I have been noticing how much timing makes a difference in my life lately. I just think about something sometimes & it comes to fruition. I ask & I get! I give & I receive. I am blessed & I am a blessing to others. I have a lot to offer this program &am...	Hoot Nanny	1	358	Jul 18, 2012 by Amandakay
	Should I cut off my alcoholic parent? (Preview) My mom has been drinking for as long as I can remember. Along with her drinking came physical and mental abuse toward everyone else in the house (myself, my sister, and my father). Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with her. When she was sober, she was fun, caring, and lovable. Then when she dran...	summer242	8	5342	Jul 18, 2012 by canadianguy
	Do I chose to stay or head towards another divorce... (Preview) Okay, so I am finding myself flirting with the option of divorce. It is an option afterall. I don't have to chose to live like this but I need to know that I am serious about a divorce and not using it as a tool to try and manipulate my AH into being serious about his program/rehab and about us. Honestly, I...	Amandakay	6	498	Jul 18, 2012 by Amandakay
	Phew! (Preview) My AF is finally on the East Coast. Phew! I spoke to his ex wife this am. His very close friend, 13 years sober in the program, picked him up. He told her that my AF is a big mess. (Um...I told them this already, but I guess they had to see if for themselves.) His sober friend is trying to get him to detox there. T...	katfshh	6	418	Jul 18, 2012 by katfshh
	Taking care of physical health as well (Preview) Hello all! I have found that when I get wrapped up in all that is going on or in my recovery that sometimes I forget to take care of my physical well being. I get so wrapped up in the emotional side of it and frankly my brain needs a vacation and my body needs help! LOL... I finally started getting physical...	amills4294	3	330	Jul 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Trying to figure out the next steps in the right direction (Preview) I am having a hard time trying to figure out if I should move back to my hometown where all my friends and family live. I am here in Cali with a great job which I love dearly! I love the peeps I work with and really do enjoy the work I am doing. I dont think I can take this job with me...it would be a longshot to...	dragonflys	5	533	Jul 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Guilt (Preview) Hoping someone can provide insight on the guilt that an A feels. I'm in my early 40's and a few months ago ran into a girl I knew 20 years ago. We were crazy about each other back in the day, but timing prevented us from ever getting together. I knew she ran into drug and alchol problems and it was one of the fir...	g319	5	584	Jul 17, 2012 by g319
	This has never happened to me in the 17 years I have known my exAH (Preview) He called me tonight sobbing. He is having a hard time with his Uncle who is dying and he goes and helps him do things around the house. His uncle has esophageal cancer and it is bring ing up memories for him of helping his Grandpa when he was dying of Lou Gerhig's disease 20 plus years ago. I have known him 1...	Breakingfree	4	382	Jul 17, 2012 by Pushka
	angry day (Preview) I can't shake the anger @ my mother's friend/caregiver, who is a major A & a control freak. He thinks he's helping but he is actually doing damage. I tried to let it go but sometimes the letting go is easier said than done. I am taking steps with my brother to remedy the situation, and hopefully the...	Lyne	1	233	Jul 17, 2012 by amills4294
	Struggling to stay in the minute... (Preview) Hi all, just came to read the message board and try to get right for the moment. I know where to come, now if I could only find the strength to reach out sooner rather than later..anyways my DD is back at recovery house after a crazy last few months...too long to go into but safe to say that I'm in the midst of c...	Carla042	7	464	Jul 17, 2012 by Carla042
	Jerry F, YOU? (Preview) Help me so much to understand things from an alchoholics perspective, It is very important to me when you desrcibe the situation from thier eyes, in recovery and not, it helps me to separate myself from exspecting my alchoholic to be on the same page as me, and explains why these realtionships are very...	Katy	3	342	Jul 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	She's drinking again (Preview) My mom survived 3 weeks of rehab and has been home almost 2 weeks. She's already drinking again and worse my dad is enabling her. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost. She makes a good point--she says, "A person with an eating disorder wouldn't never eat food again." So she thinks she ca...	Shelliebear	2	469	Jul 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sometimes God is really loud (Preview) I'm stubborn and I know it. I like me and my personality but I like knowing my limitations. So through this whole relapse experience with my BF (been going between calling him ABF and RBF.. just going to stick with BF) I've had to really face that I might have made some huge strides in my illness (who am I...	AStrongerMe	4	514	Jul 17, 2012 by 1911A1
	He is all gone! (Preview) My AF left this morning. We live on the west coast, he is from the east coast. He left here on a flight about an hour ago. I dropped him off at the airport. He had all of his clothes and pretty much everything he can transport that wasn't furniture or tools. I didn't even give him a hug goodbye. I couldn't even...	katfshh	11	664	Jul 17, 2012 by CDK
	The Key to Happy Relationships starts with us! (Preview) "The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echo's of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration" These are the words of American writer Pearl S. Buck. Easy for Pear...	Bettina	3	343	Jul 17, 2012 by CDK
	Feeling bad for AH (Preview) Hi..first post but been reading for a while..all your posts have been so helpful. Married 15 years. AH left last July..just came back home not to get back together but because he had no where else to go. I've been in therapy for almost a year healing from the insanity of this disease. I have also met an ama...	Debh	3	350	Jul 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	I keep jumping off the train to recovery. (Preview) Dear all, this is a longer post, but I really needed to get this out of the system.I need a little bit of help here to put things into perspective. I don't know, I keep loosing track. Somehow I know who I was, who I am, and why I'm here. And I started working on the 12 steps, and it slowly helps me to get calm and...	tortuga	10	825	Jul 17, 2012 by Carla042
	what is good about me ? (Preview) Hi all, been reading some of the posts on here and have heard talk about an asset list. It got me thinking one of the big affects that alcoholism has had on myself esteem is I am very critical and blamimg of myself. My ABF had no self esteem and pulled me down often in a very covert manner and this has took it...	Tracy	13	592	Jul 17, 2012 by canadianguy
	CAN ANY FORMER A'S ENLIGHTEN US SPOUSES WHY U CHOOSE THE ALCOHOL (Preview) I feel like I need to go to an AA meeting and give them the third degree. Why, Why, Why...... Any former A's that can help with this would be appreciated...	JJ21	12	758	Jul 16, 2012 by likemyheart
	It's never too late! (Preview) It was always so easy for me to fall back on tired and well worn self pity, it's a been really really hard understanding how I got like this and to have faith that no matter what I can overcome the horriblist of things, I am a person that used to put things off that frightened me to tackle head on, all I ever did...	Katy	4	356	Jul 16, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My ramble for the day... (Preview) I think I'm trying to run before I walk. I want answers and I want them now... I am not being patient but I am being forced by my Higher Power to be patient and I don't like it. I just want to know if my marriage will eventually work out or not... but I have to take this all one day at a time. I know my husband is b...	Amandakay	4	336	Jul 16, 2012 by Amandakay
	Any thoughts for me? (Preview) I am recently back in touch with my parents after a few years of no contact due to family dysfunction ect...and it has been quite healing to reconcile with my parents but here are my issues. 1. How do I set boundaries when I don't know how to set them? My mother is very co dependant and I don't want to get s...	willowtree	7	453	Jul 16, 2012 by Debilyn
	AF asks to drink again? (Preview) Hi- I am feeling confused and could really use some advice or at least know that others have experienced something like this before and I am not alone. My recoving fiancée doownfall has always been his friends. He is very young, 23 but sought help and went to rehab on his own 2 years ago. He was sober for...	srn2	15	578	Jul 16, 2012 by GreenerGrass
	Self-forgiveness (Preview) I'm truly pensive today. I've been spending a lot of time thinking and reading. I'm quiet though. I'm not thrashing about in the ways I have been when im hurt. I can handle this discomfort and sort through it. Maybe it's because I'm thinking now instead of obsessing. I am hurt and angry about my last rela...	Chaya	4	445	Jul 16, 2012 by Jen
	another blessing; can I take anymore? (Preview) It is totally a God-thing that I experienced yesterday--the whole day was God showing me that he is there. First of all, I got a call from a lady who is visiting our area. I told her to call me if she got a chance. I ended up spending time talking to her. We have a lot in common. She used to go to Al-anon back when...	Hoot Nanny	4	368	Jul 16, 2012 by Jen
	Struggling with turning everything over to my higher power (Preview) I heard someone share in a meeting recently how "their own thinking" was always getting them into trouble in the past, and until they relinquished control and gave up the illusion that they "were in charge" they just continued to struggle and struggle. It was important for me t...	usedtobeanyer	10	722	Jul 16, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	It wears on you... (Preview) Last night before bed, I took a look at some photographs of myself and my kids that were taken about three months before I started dating my exA. Goodness. I was so stinkin' cute. I was thinner. My skin looked great. my posture was awesome. I had done my hair and makeup, and I remember that I used to do it tha...	CDK	8	670	Jul 16, 2012 by Jen
	Hmm dating, what did I expect? (Preview) So out of the 4 guys I went on dates with I have no chemistry with any of them and 3 of them are clingon's, ready to settle into a relationship and own my space and time. Mr. grabby pants and Mr. codependent were already shut down, but today the guy I had a few fun dates with wants to go camping with my 2 kids and h...	Breakingfree	6	512	Jul 15, 2012 by Tigger
	Dreaming of hurt, waking up with resentment (Preview) Last night I dreamt of telling my ex on the phone how much he hurt me in the relationship and his inability to love another person, when suddenly his new gf gets on the phone and tells me before abruptly hanging up, "I feel loved by him." I woke up not knowing if it really happened as it was such a r...	Chaya	2	265	Jul 15, 2012 by JJ21
	Fear or Regret? Step 3 (Preview) I've been attending meetings since August but have struggled with the idea of taking the leap into working the steps. In recent weeks I've come to realize that the promises in step 3 are what I long for. I found a gal I can relate to and we talked a handful of times before I asked her to be my sponsor. We spent...	Jessamine	6	985	Jul 15, 2012 by Jessamine
	a/bf is about to be at itagin (Preview) he has drank ad slept most of day ,decided he wanted a joint to smoke so called up someone he knew that could get him to one ,wanted me to go to drive him and i said no i didnt want to go over to where his freinds were ,he got mad and stomped out ,slammeing the door,he didnt want to drive cause he had been drinknin...	silent	9	581	Jul 15, 2012 by pinkchip
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