Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

amills4294 · amills4294

I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...

silent · silent

i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...

gyzer02 · gyzer02

My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...

justme777 · justme777

I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...

Dazzy · Dazzy

I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info. I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...

KLotus · KLotus

Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...

katfshh · katfshh

OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...

Pushka · Pushka

I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...

Wantoutdone · Wantoutdone

I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!

Katy · Katy

Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...

CDK · CDK

NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...

debhud · debhud

my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...

Louisep · Louisep

i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...

CDK · CDK

Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...

Country Boy · Country Boy

Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...

Wanderer · Wanderer

Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...

teachmath · teachmath

I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.

holivex · holivex

I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...

katfshh · katfshh

It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...

tortuga · tortuga

Today wasn't a good day. ABF out of rehab, me available to talk (what was i thinking again??), him torn between 'I hate you' -'i love you', accusing me, that he has been through hell, and all of it just for our love (he was a non-discovered alcoholic when we met, with my presence and awareness he had to come...

Katy · Katy

And so as not to hijack anyones thread, I lay in bed this morning reflecting on my relationships and there was soooooooooooo much I didn't notice about myself when I am busy evaluating everyone else, i can see how ron out it would make a person trying to figure everyone else out and then having such an hig...

Katy · Katy

Maybe this is principles over personalities, I had words with mydaughter last night, I found her to be a little harsh and short with me, so I told her that maybe she needs a change of attitude towards people as she seems to have alot of problems alot of the time, I could never do this before but for her sake a...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been here. Not frequently but reading and trying to sometimes comment. I read my daily readers, ODAT and C2C daily, they are amazing!!! I have my meeting, no matter how tired I am I never regret going!!! Last night I got home after a long day, and I could see it in his eyes, that he wasn't there. It was t...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So tonight was good then turbed bad. Isnt that the way in a active alcohoic marriage.i spent the day on lake without ah...he was working but it was saturday so drinking was involved. Id had a few on the lake too....we met back up around dinner time...it was clear he had "had a few" buf I ignored...

daisy31 · daisy31

How in the world do you detach from and set boundaries with family - that seems to be where I get stuck the most? I have such guilt when it comes it. I would love to hear your experiences and how you do it.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I've been on vacation in FL for the past 2.5 weeks. My 13 year old is currently playing in a top national tennis tournament and he's really enjoying the higher level competition. He lost all his matches but he's got a great attitude and is handling the losses really well. Also, I have been hit on 3 ti...

Outsider · Outsider

After a 30-day treatment and a few months of unsuccesful meetings I finally left my husband when the pain of living became too unbearable. We have two very small children (the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge) and I am completely capable of raising them alone...but the allure of a norm...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, here I go: It is a miracle that my AH is still married to me. Many reasons, many bad experiences to tell but I will be brief because I need to stop bringing up the past like it says in the do's & don'ts. It has been 13 years today since I married my husband on a beautiful sunny day! We started off strong b...

pam2012 · pam2012

As i have said i am very new here but i am lookn for advice n help as to how i can change my life for the better....

Katy · Katy

Let your smile change the world, But don't ever let the world change your smile .

pineapple · pineapple

I don't even know what to title this thread. My A and I have been separated for over a year now. Unfortunately we are still living on the same property, in a foreign country, which we jointly own-the property, not the country :) He is still drinking every day although his health has been rapidly deterior...

All I can be · All I can be

I wish to share todays entry from my journal as follows. I hope it helps someone. I am playing Scrapple and have the following letters remaining: QXWVWZV This is what is left by the time perfectionism takes away the basics. It is all useless by itself. A true perfectionist can not enjoy things and just...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Wow! Today's reading really hit home for my marriage situation... Although my husband is being a jerk... I can't make up my mind what I want and he called me out on it but I didn't believe him until I read today's reading and thought on it...It says, "...At a meeting, I was relating how my spouse was...

Ziola · Ziola

My recovering addict husband and I have been going to couples counseling but sometimes I feel like it's never going to work because it legitimizes his insane behavior. He projects all his frustrations onto me, blaming me, etc. He treats me so disrespectfully I feel like it's bordering on being abusi...

Pushka · Pushka

Thank you so very much for walking with me on this difficult journey. Court was today and I'm a little confused what my STBXA (soon to be ex alcoholic) thought was going to happen? He apparently feels blindsided and I could see a serious look of defeat on him today after court. I am in a really weird pla...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I think timing is everything! I have been noticing how much timing makes a difference in my life lately. I just think about something sometimes & it comes to fruition. I ask & I get! I give & I receive. I am blessed & I am a blessing to others. I have a lot to offer this program &am...

summer242 · summer242

My mom has been drinking for as long as I can remember. Along with her drinking came physical and mental abuse toward everyone else in the house (myself, my sister, and my father). Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with her. When she was sober, she was fun, caring, and lovable. Then when she dran...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Okay, so I am finding myself flirting with the option of divorce. It is an option afterall. I don't have to chose to live like this but I need to know that I am serious about a divorce and not using it as a tool to try and manipulate my AH into being serious about his program/rehab and about us. Honestly, I...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF is finally on the East Coast. Phew! I spoke to his ex wife this am. His very close friend, 13 years sober in the program, picked him up. He told her that my AF is a big mess. (Um...I told them this already, but I guess they had to see if for themselves.) His sober friend is trying to get him to detox there. T...

amills4294 · amills4294

Hello all! I have found that when I get wrapped up in all that is going on or in my recovery that sometimes I forget to take care of my physical well being. I get so wrapped up in the emotional side of it and frankly my brain needs a vacation and my body needs help! LOL... I finally started getting physical...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am having a hard time trying to figure out if I should move back to my hometown where all my friends and family live. I am here in Cali with a great job which I love dearly! I love the peeps I work with and really do enjoy the work I am doing. I dont think I can take this job with me...it would be a longshot to...

g319 · g319

Hoping someone can provide insight on the guilt that an A feels. I'm in my early 40's and a few months ago ran into a girl I knew 20 years ago. We were crazy about each other back in the day, but timing prevented us from ever getting together. I knew she ran into drug and alchol problems and it was one of the fir...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

He called me tonight sobbing. He is having a hard time with his Uncle who is dying and he goes and helps him do things around the house. His uncle has esophageal cancer and it is bring ing up memories for him of helping his Grandpa when he was dying of Lou Gerhig's disease 20 plus years ago. I have known him 1...

Lyne · Lyne

I can't shake the anger @ my mother's friend/caregiver, who is a major A & a control freak. He thinks he's helping but he is actually doing damage. I tried to let it go but sometimes the letting go is easier said than done. I am taking steps with my brother to remedy the situation, and hopefully the...

Carla042 · Carla042

Hi all, just came to read the message board and try to get right for the moment. I know where to come, now if I could only find the strength to reach out sooner rather than later..anyways my DD is back at recovery house after a crazy last few months...too long to go into but safe to say that I'm in the midst of c...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	bad day with family of origin (Preview) I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...	amills4294	5	707	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	need help (Preview) i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...	silent	4	423	Jul 24, 2012 by silent
	An Old Post Worth Reading Again & Again (Preview) This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...	GailMichelle	6	521	Jul 24, 2012 by GailMichelle
	what to do (Preview) My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...	gyzer02	6	658	Jul 24, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	new here and trying to find my balance (Preview) I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...	justme777	6	520	Jul 24, 2012 by Eddie1248
	Tired of the guilt and anger (Preview) I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info. I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...	Dazzy	3	434	Jul 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recovery and relapse (Preview) Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...	KLotus	5	519	Jul 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	Did I say something wrong? Should I not say how I feel, when they ask? (Preview) My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...	dragonflys	9	727	Jul 24, 2012 by dragonflys
	Just need to mind-dump (Preview) I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...	Aloha	6	602	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	He made first contact.. (Preview) OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...	katfshh	20	841	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Today is exactly 1 year I have been divorced (Preview) and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...	Breakingfree	10	475	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Neat Saying (Preview) I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)	Pushka	7	440	Jul 23, 2012 by willowtree
	today is my day! (Preview) Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...	Hoot Nanny	1	251	Jul 23, 2012 by Jen
	keeping the focus on us .. Trying .. (Preview) This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...	MeTwo2	2	493	Jul 23, 2012 by hotrod
	Busy busy busy .. (Preview) I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...	Pushka	6	519	Jul 23, 2012 by Pushka
	Dont know this person divorce the only answer? (Preview) I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...	Wantoutdone	3	763	Jul 23, 2012 by lacewing
	good samaritan (Preview) I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!	Hoot Nanny	1	336	Jul 23, 2012 by luv123
	how do you start your day? (Preview) Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...	Katy	10	938	Jul 23, 2012 by 1911A1
	Responding to the silent treatment(vent) (Preview) Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...	ilovedogs	9	912	Jul 23, 2012 by dragonflys
	death in the family (Preview) Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...	Oksie	8	514	Jul 23, 2012 by Oksie
	Neighbor breaking boundaries (Preview) My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...	Breakingfree	4	558	Jul 22, 2012 by Jen
	A good vent (Preview) NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....	CDK	7	577	Jul 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	I am going to make this quick! (Preview) Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...	Hoot Nanny	0	222	Jul 21, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	sudden surge of anger (Preview) my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...	debhud	5	746	Jul 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	parents addiction (Preview) i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...	Louisep	4	376	Jul 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Brain Fog Heart Fog (Preview) Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...	CDK	2	363	Jul 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A good post for a change of pace (Preview) Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...	Country Boy	6	417	Jul 21, 2012 by katfshh
	Strange (but good) experience... (Preview) Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...	Wanderer	5	503	Jul 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	need advice on dating a man in recovery (Preview) I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...	teachmath	18	738	Jul 21, 2012 by teachmath
	Yup, I'm a mess (Preview) I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...	Country Boy	9	647	Jul 21, 2012 by xeno59
	Mom of an Alcoholic/addicted person (Preview) I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.	Neesabean	5	494	Jul 21, 2012 by xeno59
	AH out of detox, and I filed the papers today (Preview) I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...	holivex	10	713	Jul 21, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Good Days and Bad Days (Preview) It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...	katfshh	9	620	Jul 21, 2012 by katfshh
	A question regarding intimacy and our A's. (Preview) Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	864	Jul 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	just got my ass kicked by ABF (Preview) Today wasn't a good day. ABF out of rehab, me available to talk (what was i thinking again??), him torn between 'I hate you' -'i love you', accusing me, that he has been through hell, and all of it just for our love (he was a non-discovered alcoholic when we met, with my presence and awareness he had to come...	tortuga	12	734	Jul 20, 2012 by katfshh
	On the strength of what I have read here this morning, (Preview) And so as not to hijack anyones thread, I lay in bed this morning reflecting on my relationships and there was soooooooooooo much I didn't notice about myself when I am busy evaluating everyone else, i can see how ron out it would make a person trying to figure everyone else out and then having such an hig...	Katy	1	340	Jul 20, 2012 by hotrod
	sometimes it pays to be the bigger person. (Preview) Maybe this is principles over personalities, I had words with mydaughter last night, I found her to be a little harsh and short with me, so I told her that maybe she needs a change of attitude towards people as she seems to have alot of problems alot of the time, I could never do this before but for her sake a...	Katy	2	446	Jul 20, 2012 by Tracy
	When they know (Preview) I've been here. Not frequently but reading and trying to sometimes comment. I read my daily readers, ODAT and C2C daily, they are amazing!!! I have my meeting, no matter how tired I am I never regret going!!! Last night I got home after a long day, and I could see it in his eyes, that he wasn't there. It was t...	Jackie11	7	622	Jul 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Thinking of leaving.... (Preview) So tonight was good then turbed bad. Isnt that the way in a active alcohoic marriage.i spent the day on lake without ah...he was working but it was saturday so drinking was involved. Id had a few on the lake too....we met back up around dinner time...it was clear he had "had a few" buf I ignored...	Theoceancalls	7	604	Jul 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	How do you detach from family (Preview) How in the world do you detach from and set boundaries with family - that seems to be where I get stuck the most? I have such guilt when it comes it. I would love to hear your experiences and how you do it.	daisy31	7	939	Jul 20, 2012 by daisy31
	LOL, having fun in FL! (Preview) So, I've been on vacation in FL for the past 2.5 weeks. My 13 year old is currently playing in a top national tennis tournament and he's really enjoying the higher level competition. He lost all his matches but he's got a great attitude and is handling the losses really well. Also, I have been hit on 3 ti...	ilovedogs	3	331	Jul 19, 2012 by Inawhirl
	Divorce or not?? (Preview) After a 30-day treatment and a few months of unsuccesful meetings I finally left my husband when the pain of living became too unbearable. We have two very small children (the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge) and I am completely capable of raising them alone...but the allure of a norm...	Outsider	12	656	Jul 19, 2012 by Outsider
	13th anniversary & it is a miracle! (Preview) So, here I go: It is a miracle that my AH is still married to me. Many reasons, many bad experiences to tell but I will be brief because I need to stop bringing up the past like it says in the do's & don'ts. It has been 13 years today since I married my husband on a beautiful sunny day! We started off strong b...	Hoot Nanny	2	368	Jul 19, 2012 by Jackie11
	im very new to this but would like to get to talk to ppl from ireland for support. (Preview) As i have said i am very new here but i am lookn for advice n help as to how i can change my life for the better....	pam2012	1	291	Jul 19, 2012 by hotrod
	these help me:-) (Preview) Let your smile change the world, But don't ever let the world change your smile .	Katy	3	284	Jul 19, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	??????? (Preview) I don't even know what to title this thread. My A and I have been separated for over a year now. Unfortunately we are still living on the same property, in a foreign country, which we jointly own-the property, not the country :) He is still drinking every day although his health has been rapidly deterior...	pineapple	8	933	Jul 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Perfectionism. (Preview) I wish to share todays entry from my journal as follows. I hope it helps someone. I am playing Scrapple and have the following letters remaining: QXWVWZV This is what is left by the time perfectionism takes away the basics. It is all useless by itself. A true perfectionist can not enjoy things and just...	All I can be	3	1584	Jul 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Hope for Today, July 18th's reading - Very Timely (Preview) Wow! Today's reading really hit home for my marriage situation... Although my husband is being a jerk... I can't make up my mind what I want and he called me out on it but I didn't believe him until I read today's reading and thought on it...It says, "...At a meeting, I was relating how my spouse was...	Amandakay	3	3304	Jul 19, 2012 by Amandakay
	Couples counseling (Preview) My recovering addict husband and I have been going to couples counseling but sometimes I feel like it's never going to work because it legitimizes his insane behavior. He projects all his frustrations onto me, blaming me, etc. He treats me so disrespectfully I feel like it's bordering on being abusi...	Ziola	5	622	Jul 18, 2012 by Outsider
	Update part II (Preview) Thank you so very much for walking with me on this difficult journey. Court was today and I'm a little confused what my STBXA (soon to be ex alcoholic) thought was going to happen? He apparently feels blindsided and I could see a serious look of defeat on him today after court. I am in a really weird pla...	Pushka	8	458	Jul 18, 2012 by Neesabean
	one thing to another (Preview) Sometimes I think timing is everything! I have been noticing how much timing makes a difference in my life lately. I just think about something sometimes & it comes to fruition. I ask & I get! I give & I receive. I am blessed & I am a blessing to others. I have a lot to offer this program &am...	Hoot Nanny	1	382	Jul 18, 2012 by Amandakay
	Should I cut off my alcoholic parent? (Preview) My mom has been drinking for as long as I can remember. Along with her drinking came physical and mental abuse toward everyone else in the house (myself, my sister, and my father). Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with her. When she was sober, she was fun, caring, and lovable. Then when she dran...	summer242	8	5452	Jul 18, 2012 by canadianguy
	Do I chose to stay or head towards another divorce... (Preview) Okay, so I am finding myself flirting with the option of divorce. It is an option afterall. I don't have to chose to live like this but I need to know that I am serious about a divorce and not using it as a tool to try and manipulate my AH into being serious about his program/rehab and about us. Honestly, I...	Amandakay	6	510	Jul 18, 2012 by Amandakay
	Phew! (Preview) My AF is finally on the East Coast. Phew! I spoke to his ex wife this am. His very close friend, 13 years sober in the program, picked him up. He told her that my AF is a big mess. (Um...I told them this already, but I guess they had to see if for themselves.) His sober friend is trying to get him to detox there. T...	katfshh	6	426	Jul 18, 2012 by katfshh
	Taking care of physical health as well (Preview) Hello all! I have found that when I get wrapped up in all that is going on or in my recovery that sometimes I forget to take care of my physical well being. I get so wrapped up in the emotional side of it and frankly my brain needs a vacation and my body needs help! LOL... I finally started getting physical...	amills4294	3	343	Jul 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Trying to figure out the next steps in the right direction (Preview) I am having a hard time trying to figure out if I should move back to my hometown where all my friends and family live. I am here in Cali with a great job which I love dearly! I love the peeps I work with and really do enjoy the work I am doing. I dont think I can take this job with me...it would be a longshot to...	dragonflys	5	542	Jul 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Guilt (Preview) Hoping someone can provide insight on the guilt that an A feels. I'm in my early 40's and a few months ago ran into a girl I knew 20 years ago. We were crazy about each other back in the day, but timing prevented us from ever getting together. I knew she ran into drug and alchol problems and it was one of the fir...	g319	5	595	Jul 17, 2012 by g319
	This has never happened to me in the 17 years I have known my exAH (Preview) He called me tonight sobbing. He is having a hard time with his Uncle who is dying and he goes and helps him do things around the house. His uncle has esophageal cancer and it is bring ing up memories for him of helping his Grandpa when he was dying of Lou Gerhig's disease 20 plus years ago. I have known him 1...	Breakingfree	4	397	Jul 17, 2012 by Pushka
	angry day (Preview) I can't shake the anger @ my mother's friend/caregiver, who is a major A & a control freak. He thinks he's helping but he is actually doing damage. I tried to let it go but sometimes the letting go is easier said than done. I am taking steps with my brother to remedy the situation, and hopefully the...	Lyne	1	241	Jul 17, 2012 by amills4294
	Struggling to stay in the minute... (Preview) Hi all, just came to read the message board and try to get right for the moment. I know where to come, now if I could only find the strength to reach out sooner rather than later..anyways my DD is back at recovery house after a crazy last few months...too long to go into but safe to say that I'm in the midst of c...	Carla042	7	476	Jul 17, 2012 by Carla042
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