The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Glad you found MIP, you are exactly in the right place.
I didnt have an alcoholic parent, but an alcoholic husband. Having an alcoholic parent may be a different dynamic, but same disease. Are both your parents alcoholics?
I can imagine its like having a big white Elephant in the room along with plenty of denial.
You must love your parents and want to help fix them and yes you know enough to know that this disease can be fatal. Unfortunatly there is nothing you can do for them as we are powerless over the disease. Alanon and MIP will help you with the tools to find solutions on how to deal with their disease, whether your Father is the drinker or the co dependent in the relationship.
Please attend a face to face meeting in your area, and post as much as possible. There are people here with much experience. Read as much Alanon material also and please keep coming back.
Hugs, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 21st of July 2012 01:50:31 PM
i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it
today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an alcoholic and wont get help til she is 'ready' and stormed out when i wanted to talk about what is going on. she said i hated her and she was the best mother she could be to me but its never enough for me.
in the end both parents walked away with my dad saying sorry. i just want to talk and not hide from the problem that is destroying us all, but does it mean i will have to lose my parents if they won't face the addiction? i feel its a choice between losing my parents or staying close to them and losing myself.
i'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, if not my apologies xx
You are in the right place. Things can be a little slow on weekends, but you will get lots of good support and encouragement from people who have been where you are. Keep coming and post whatever and whenever. People will tell you that Toby Rice Drew's book, Getting Them Sober was a lifesaver. You will be encouraged to take care of yourself; to find a meeting if available and be with others face to face, and to attend meetings online here as well.
Hugs, Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
You are definitely in the right place. You might also check out the ACOA forum (Adult child of alcholics) in addition. There is no simple answer to the difficult problem you are faced with. In alanon there is support and encouragement for you to find peace of mind and you can hear from folks that have faced similar problems and what helped them. I could never convince anyone else to get sober until they were "ready" either. It's really sad when it's obviously killing the person and yet they say they aren't "ready" for help. I have not faced this disease with a parent, but I know there are other members here that have (many of them) so I look forward to hearing them give you some of their experience, strength, and hope too. Hang in there Louise - Sending you lots of support!
So glad you found us at MIP. I had to learn to dettach from my parents and exAH and others with Al-anon to help me. I learned how to save myself and keep my head in the now. I hope you can find some face to face meetings and read some Al-anon books like "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
