Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Last night I went on facebook and my bf had a picture of him and a friend of his, she was beautiful and they were at a school party together with an hawaiin theme and it was titled getting Leighed with him and her name. They have studied together and are friends from him going to school for the last year. The p...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Today was one of the hardest days since I left my AH on monday. After calling for divorce papers yesterday, my mind has once again gone back to the 'on the fence' possitions. I feel so confused between the concepts of Re-acting and Acting. I've gone from feeling that I want a divorce as a reaction to his d...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hey everyone. I haven't been on much. I have been so busy. I have a photo shoot today! I am so excited!!! Last few days it has rained! Today is looking like a beautiful cloudy day with a tad bit of rays! I babysat for a close friend lastnight, she is taking my girls today for a few hours (before she works toni...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I was scared, nervous and about to be sick. But after the emotional roller coaster I've been through these past 2 days, I knew it was the place to be. I actually made the mistake of going to the wrong side of the building and I was greeted by a very large welcoming group of people that thought I was there...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This seems to be a pattern lately. We go somewhere, party, lakeside fire, etc, as a family and I come home with my child and somtimes others while the drinkers party the night away. Its odd..when I get home, I LOVE the peace and quiet and the responsibility of caring for and putting kids safely to bed. But...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to try today not to be negative. I have every opportunity to send positive messages on this forum. After all, life is too short to be negative. My Ah & I have had some trying moments lately because I have been so negative & took all my stress out on him. I am working on not putting him down &...

wilson12 · wilson12

Hello! Just needed some advice on a current situation. Anyways to keep it brief my mom just got out of rehab a little over a month ago for alcohol and prescription drugs (xanax). This is the 4th time shes been to rehab, so I was optimistic it would actually work this time. She has a sponsor, and has been att...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Well My AH quit about 2 months ago this morning he comes home and tell me well tomorrow is our anniversery (34YRS) and the football games on i'd like to have a few beers I reminded him my bounderys I Made If he had that 1 drink i'm filing for divorce he did not remember yeah right he did not remember. I HATE THI...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I set a boundary and I stuck to it. I did wind up leaving work early and I came home and made him leave. Not only did he buy "two tallboys" like he assured me... he bought the other 4 as well. They were all gone. Arguement ensued yet I kept my composure (for most of it) I kept telling him to l...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Needed to come here to vent. Maybe if I do this, others will stop and learn to protect themselves from this horrible disease. I had NO idea what being an addict meant, or how a person cannot have a usual marriage with one. I had been widowed 18 years, super independant. I had to work hard at being a wife like...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I DID IT! Drove over to treatment center yesterday for first 'counseling session', I have been reading "CoDependent No More" and was ready. I calmly stated I needed a separation for myself, I was not comfortable living with him, and that even though he is saying he will 'work on it to be th...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50726032/tradition-10-alanon/

Gabriel9877 · Gabriel9877

My sister has an alcohol problem and I'd like to discuss it with her to find out if she'd like help. The problem is, I don't know how bad her alcohol problem is, as I don't live with her. This is relevant, because I don't know if quitting will throw her into serious withdrawal symptoms. She doesn't hav...

LadyBug · LadyBug

So i aske dsomeone to sponsor me. She told me the following week at the next meting that she has just been really busy :/ I really do not know her that well and i want to start the steps but she seems unavailbale and i feel like i am imposing if i call her. I know it may just be my insecurities but i feel more comfo...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Yesterday I battled with the choice on weather or not I should call my county court house to begin the paper work for a divorce. But as the title spoils, I made the final decision today. Dispite my annitial re-action to put of my choice until he got 'better', as of last night my mind has been made up. I canno...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hello, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am 28 years old and have been a member for 2.5 years. I would like to share on my life experiences with the women in my life and alcoholism has affected my perception. I grew up in a home where my father was the alcoholic. My mom developed sc...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I have not been on here in quite a while. It's been tough to come back to the board since my mentor passed away and he meant a lot to me and always made me see what was right in front of my face. Also he always made me realize that I was to take care of myself first. Well he's gone now but his lessons live on. But st...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Today was the first day of kindergarten for our oldest. My wife and I and our 3 year old took her to the bus stop and spent some time with the other parents waiting for the bus. My daughter was very excited and smiling and happy and before we knew it, she was on the bus and gone. All day, I have felt extremely em...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Just got in an arguement with AH when I went home for lunch. He's currently out of work (still).... He told me as a threat before I left... "Guess I'll be going to the store today"... ie beer run. He's been sober for quite some time. Long story short I spoke to him once while he was at the sto...

silent · silent

i drove over by where he is liveing while he was at work,and his freind told me that my a was back to work and that he told him that he "my a" was gonna mess around and lose his job and truck ,my a told him yes he knew that.so for now i guess im safe with the truck,it worries me though that he might end up...

katfshh · katfshh

Hi Everyone! I have been gone for a few weeks. We went on vacation and had a wondeful time on the cruise. My son (13) was in heaven. We wound up going with some friends, so my son had a buddy. It was a 7 day cruise, Mexican Rivera. It was orignially going to be my honeymoon with the ex. When I got back I have bee...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I think I said it alll in the subject heading. I have a lot of anxiety today. But if I look ahead to the possibilties I might actually have a good day. I have almost constant scalp itch. It went away but is definitely back! I use a solution that is strictly for the scalp. I use it every night before bedtime. It...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I decided to get creative LOL. I am making some tomato vegtable sausage soup! Smells so good! Only thing I just wished I had not run out of rice :) What is everyone planning for supper tonight? -- Edited by InspiredPhotography on Thursday 6th of September 2012 04:07:58 PM

Stevie · Stevie

Hi. It's good to find a place to talk to people who are living with an alcoholic loved one. I've been married to my husband for 13 yrs and I was aware that he drank but unaware of the extent of his addiction. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my husband by encouraging him to go to therapy, by going to coup...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-fa...

Hopeful06 · Hopeful06

So finally, after 2 years of off and on again with my ABF, I've ended things. I've done it so many times before, however this time feels different to me. I'm ready to fight for my sanity, to not get swept up in the dysfunction of trying to make him feel better about himself in the midst of seriously destruct...

gr8tful01 · gr8tful01

A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...

so_tired · so_tired

I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...

JD · JD

Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...

goldie7108 · goldie7108

Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I am ready to move on. After the suicide attempt last week, my AH is in 30 day treatment program. I know it is time to tell him we can't live under the same roof anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how you expressed this to your A in the most healthy way possible. I don't want to trudge out my laundry list of...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So I was prepared to have nice relaxing evening. Yes A was pissed I wouldn't allow his A friend to come A and drink in our home. So he left in mad rage to go see him 30 minutes away. Only 20 minutes later he walks back in the door. Tells me on and on that's it's our damn house and if he wants his friends over (they c...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

AH went back to a meeting last night after missing several weeks and relapsing. When he got home he was very open about his feelings and the "whys" and "what fors". I just listened. He told me he realized something yesterday. He's in an authority position being the bosses son. He...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I think I am having my first panic attack. The more I read about Florida divorce laws the more I am freaking out. The laws here are very unfriendly, no fault state. I am reading horror stories about people having to pay lifetime alimony - lifetime!! I admit I am panicking and I know this is premature but my...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

This is part of my reply from on one of my earlier posts... ..."Luckily he hadn't been drinking yesterday, he was in bed all day. After I got there with the kids he got up to say hi and back to bed he went and only got up to eat, not interacting with his kids at all. I had to work this morning and he got up to a...

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, i feel so alone. there is no intimacy in my marriage. husband is 2 years sober and active in aa. i am involved in alanon. i cannot figure out how to put the spark back into my marriage. we rarely touch, hug or kiss. sex once a year (and not very fulfilling) we live together like best fri...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Today is my birthday, no flowers, no parties, my gift was my AH trying to kill himself Tuesday, now he is tucked away in 30 day program, as usual the world is taking care of him. Who takes care of me? I went to the lawyer yesterday, he said that this is a long process, but ultimately my AH will not only get alim...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hi everyone. I am feeling alittle down. I miss my girls so much. They are both back to school. Not only that I have been experiencing dizzy spells, at times I actually forget things. Like things I wouldn't. Which really has been scaring me. I am only 32 years old. Sense of familiarity seems to be distorte...

Steveareeno · Steveareeno

My wife just completed a 30 day inpatient treatment program. Before she went in our mariiage was disasterous. Infidelity (multiple times), drunk to the point of blacking out multiple time per week, frighteneing behavior when drinking, multiple attempts at suicide that came via text messages whi...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my lif...

jitsuka · jitsuka

I'm stressed out. And probably starting to get depressed. I've not progressed enough on my PhD to pass the first year and will write up what I've done for the past year as an MPhil, still a good qualification. I've been given 3 months money from the university to do this. Its been a massive shock I left a g...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

Why do I feel guilty? He's been in bed for 4 days so my son and I decide to go see a movie and go eat this afternoon. I asked AH if he wanted to go and he said no. So I am gone 20 minutes and he is calling trying to make me feel bad about leaving him alone. Why didn't I go get him some lunch and bring back to him before I w...

silent · silent

my a b/f came over to visit labor day drunk as a mop,i told him no that i wouldnt couldnt have a sexual relationship with him any more he got offensive of course and i told him that he was sooo drunk he used that as an excuse to leave and take what few other things he had left here with him,so ok,he lost his cell p...

callmemara · callmemara

Once he spends his whole paycheck, he starts pawning things and even panhandling to get money for alcohol. Yes, there is always money for drinks. ALWAYS! even if there is no money for rent. GRRR. I was expectingi t to be raining/storming big time when I woke up this morning but it wasn't. It's overcast a...

Ness · Ness

Hi my MIP family. I'm finding it tough these last few months but reading here keeps me supported. My husband's illness has kept him debilitated all summer, Im distressed at how diminished my big strong handsome guy has become..he goes for a heart procedure next week. The grief of our loss (death of our...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

We had a tradtion eight meeting at my home group this week. I have always liked this tradition and it's statement of Alanon as a program of equals. I'm not sure I would have kept coming back if people in Alanon meetings had exerted themselves as authorities of physical health, mental health, finance...

mehere80 · mehere80

Just need to get this out. Not sure why but I can't seem to find the voice or the words to say what I'm really feeling to my sponsor, or during group. It feels like I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. A very lonely place. Feeling very desperate and this is a way I know I can reach out, other than this I li...

Inuyami · Inuyami

As anyone who read the post i created yesterday knows; I am a non-drinker married to an 'AH' as this site calls it. Yesterday we had a very large fight and he placed hands on me. Fed up, angry and scared; I grabbed everything that belonged to me and moved back into my old room at my parents house. Today I a...

holivex · holivex

My AH has stolen from me. Run up huge debts. Driven intoxicated with my children many times. Been fired from his last three jobs. Been to detox, then immediately started drinking again. Been back to detox. Is now out for the second time and he's a dry drunk. Not drinking, but still behaving like...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So today I ended up in chat. I had not felt well all day. Probably stress related. Well Grammie got me talking about my girls. Felt pretty proud. They are amazing children. I can go on and on about them. They are so sensitive, sweet, kind, courageous, caring and very communicative. They make my reason fo...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm reading posts and slowly things are starting to sink in .. lol .. I'm a slow learner, hard headed as all get out and a fast forgetter as I've heard told and I def fall into that catagory. The sharing stuff is really really hard. How to put that focus on me and not be focused on the A in my life. I'm real...

Kismet · Kismet

My AH has been in rehab for 30 days today and my life has been a rollercoaster. Some days I am happy and I cope fine but others, like today, I am raging. And I cannot control it. My dogs are cowering in their kennels. Everything my children do sends me over the edge. I am so angry at everything and I don't reall...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

It's going on 2 months of complete craziness with X-ABF. Starting on July 4th when he put the gun to his head. A lot more horrible things have happened since that day. After living together for 6 yrs I asked him to leave. I literally thought I was losing my mind and I had to separate, BUT it still feels like y...

Jill · Jill

I'm going to Paris soon. I'm excited. I love it there. For reasons I now question, I haven't been there in over 30 years. Can it really be that long? Dang! Since my teen yearsyears I've had a recurring dream that a trip to Paris has become available to me suddenly (LOL). I'm so thrilled -- and then somethin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so aware of how some holiday weekends are but this one took the cake! I see so much excessive drinking in my present home town that it is actually sad. Not everyone is an alcoholic but they sure try to be. In my hometown, we celebrate like none other. I am so glad that even though it is fun, I am glad it is ov...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I created my first crisis with the bf (Preview) Last night I went on facebook and my bf had a picture of him and a friend of his, she was beautiful and they were at a school party together with an hawaiin theme and it was titled getting Leighed with him and her name. They have studied together and are friends from him going to school for the last year. The p...	Breakingfree	12	780	Sep 9, 2012 by likemyheart
	Feel like I'm losing my mind!!! (Preview) Today was one of the hardest days since I left my AH on monday. After calling for divorce papers yesterday, my mind has once again gone back to the 'on the fence' possitions. I feel so confused between the concepts of Re-acting and Acting. I've gone from feeling that I want a divorce as a reaction to his d...	Inuyami	7	691	Sep 9, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Brand New Day! (Preview) Hey everyone. I haven't been on much. I have been so busy. I have a photo shoot today! I am so excited!!! Last few days it has rained! Today is looking like a beautiful cloudy day with a tad bit of rays! I babysat for a close friend lastnight, she is taking my girls today for a few hours (before she works toni...	InspiredPhotography	1	366	Sep 9, 2012 by pineapple
	Went to my first F2F tonight... (Preview) I was scared, nervous and about to be sick. But after the emotional roller coaster I've been through these past 2 days, I knew it was the place to be. I actually made the mistake of going to the wrong side of the building and I was greeted by a very large welcoming group of people that thought I was there...	ELEKTRAWMN	3	554	Sep 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Friday nite...im home, hes out Mom guilt seperate but together alc marriage (Preview) This seems to be a pattern lately. We go somewhere, party, lakeside fire, etc, as a family and I come home with my child and somtimes others while the drinkers party the night away. Its odd..when I get home, I LOVE the peace and quiet and the responsibility of caring for and putting kids safely to bed. But...	Theoceancalls	2	550	Sep 9, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	I will & I can try not to be negative. (Preview) I am going to try today not to be negative. I have every opportunity to send positive messages on this forum. After all, life is too short to be negative. My Ah & I have had some trying moments lately because I have been so negative & took all my stress out on him. I am working on not putting him down &...	Hoot Nanny	2	673	Sep 9, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Newcomer here (Preview) Hello! Just needed some advice on a current situation. Anyways to keep it brief my mom just got out of rehab a little over a month ago for alcohol and prescription drugs (xanax). This is the 4th time shes been to rehab, so I was optimistic it would actually work this time. She has a sponsor, and has been att...	wilson12	4	512	Sep 9, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	On Edge (Preview) Well My AH quit about 2 months ago this morning he comes home and tell me well tomorrow is our anniversery (34YRS) and the football games on i'd like to have a few beers I reminded him my bounderys I Made If he had that 1 drink i'm filing for divorce he did not remember yeah right he did not remember. I HATE THI...	peacewithin	3	431	Sep 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	I did it. I kicked him out. (Preview) I set a boundary and I stuck to it. I did wind up leaving work early and I came home and made him leave. Not only did he buy "two tallboys" like he assured me... he bought the other 4 as well. They were all gone. Arguement ensued yet I kept my composure (for most of it) I kept telling him to l...	ELEKTRAWMN	9	971	Sep 9, 2012 by holivex
	Tired of the struggle (Preview) Needed to come here to vent. Maybe if I do this, others will stop and learn to protect themselves from this horrible disease. I had NO idea what being an addict meant, or how a person cannot have a usual marriage with one. I had been widowed 18 years, super independant. I had to work hard at being a wife like...	Debilyn	11	716	Sep 9, 2012 by pineapple
	I Stood My Ground - Told Him I Want Separation (Preview) I DID IT! Drove over to treatment center yesterday for first 'counseling session', I have been reading "CoDependent No More" and was ready. I calmly stated I needed a separation for myself, I was not comfortable living with him, and that even though he is saying he will 'work on it to be th...	TrudyS85	5	609	Sep 9, 2012 by pineapple
	TRADIIION 10 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50726032/tradition-10-alanon/	hotrod	0	392	Sep 8, 2012 by hotrod
	How do I know how bad the recovery process will be? (Preview) My sister has an alcohol problem and I'd like to discuss it with her to find out if she'd like help. The problem is, I don't know how bad her alcohol problem is, as I don't live with her. This is relevant, because I don't know if quitting will throw her into serious withdrawal symptoms. She doesn't hav...	Gabriel9877	8	589	Sep 9, 2012 by Gabriel9877
	learning to be a sponsee (Preview) So i aske dsomeone to sponsor me. She told me the following week at the next meting that she has just been really busy :/ I really do not know her that well and i want to start the steps but she seems unavailbale and i feel like i am imposing if i call her. I know it may just be my insecurities but i feel more comfo...	LadyBug	4	1077	Sep 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Called the court today... (Preview) Yesterday I battled with the choice on weather or not I should call my county court house to begin the paper work for a divorce. But as the title spoils, I made the final decision today. Dispite my annitial re-action to put of my choice until he got 'better', as of last night my mind has been made up. I canno...	Inuyami	2	461	Sep 8, 2012 by Debilyn
	Changing my view of women (Preview) Hello, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am 28 years old and have been a member for 2.5 years. I would like to share on my life experiences with the women in my life and alcoholism has affected my perception. I grew up in a home where my father was the alcoholic. My mom developed sc...	slogan_jim	10	607	Sep 8, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Feeling so lonely!! (Preview) I have not been on here in quite a while. It's been tough to come back to the board since my mentor passed away and he meant a lot to me and always made me see what was right in front of my face. Also he always made me realize that I was to take care of myself first. Well he's gone now but his lessons live on. But st...	wildthang86	4	600	Sep 8, 2012 by wildthang86
	First day of school (Preview) Today was the first day of kindergarten for our oldest. My wife and I and our 3 year old took her to the bus stop and spent some time with the other parents waiting for the bus. My daughter was very excited and smiling and happy and before we knew it, she was on the bus and gone. All day, I have felt extremely em...	usedtobeanyer	6	620	Sep 8, 2012 by glad lee
	Talk me off the edge... (Preview) Just got in an arguement with AH when I went home for lunch. He's currently out of work (still).... He told me as a threat before I left... "Guess I'll be going to the store today"... ie beer run. He's been sober for quite some time. Long story short I spoke to him once while he was at the sto...	ELEKTRAWMN	5	594	Sep 8, 2012 by nmike
	so far so good"update" (Preview) i drove over by where he is liveing while he was at work,and his freind told me that my a was back to work and that he told him that he "my a" was gonna mess around and lose his job and truck ,my a told him yes he knew that.so for now i guess im safe with the truck,it worries me though that he might end up...	silent	2	404	Sep 8, 2012 by Mattie
	I'm back.. Crazy stuff (Preview) Hi Everyone! I have been gone for a few weeks. We went on vacation and had a wondeful time on the cruise. My son (13) was in heaven. We wound up going with some friends, so my son had a buddy. It was a 7 day cruise, Mexican Rivera. It was orignially going to be my honeymoon with the ex. When I got back I have bee...	katfshh	12	570	Sep 8, 2012 by katfshh
	looking ahead not behind; staying in the moment but nervous & anxious! (Preview) I think I said it alll in the subject heading. I have a lot of anxiety today. But if I look ahead to the possibilties I might actually have a good day. I have almost constant scalp itch. It went away but is definitely back! I use a solution that is strictly for the scalp. I use it every night before bedtime. It...	Hoot Nanny	3	473	Sep 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	What is everyone having for supper? (Preview) I decided to get creative LOL. I am making some tomato vegtable sausage soup! Smells so good! Only thing I just wished I had not run out of rice :) What is everyone planning for supper tonight? -- Edited by InspiredPhotography on Thursday 6th of September 2012 04:07:58 PM	InspiredPhotography	13	553	Sep 8, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	New to this but a long time dealing with AH alone (Preview) Hi. It's good to find a place to talk to people who are living with an alcoholic loved one. I've been married to my husband for 13 yrs and I was aware that he drank but unaware of the extent of his addiction. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my husband by encouraging him to go to therapy, by going to coup...	Stevie	13	602	Sep 7, 2012 by Freja
	Praying for compassion for daugter! (Preview) I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-fa...	Highlyfavored	3	488	Sep 7, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	I've finally left my alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) So finally, after 2 years of off and on again with my ABF, I've ended things. I've done it so many times before, however this time feels different to me. I'm ready to fight for my sanity, to not get swept up in the dysfunction of trying to make him feel better about himself in the midst of seriously destruct...	Hopeful06	5	3105	Sep 7, 2012 by Hopeful06
	Decision to separate and the calm that followed (Preview) A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...	gr8tful01	1	466	Sep 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Decision to divorce, and the calm that followed (Preview) Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...	Dolly Llama	9	627	Sep 7, 2012 by gr8tful01
	Sick since I left (Preview) Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...	Inuyami	7	580	Sep 7, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	My disease (Preview) I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...	Breakingfree	5	791	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	New Here (Preview) Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...	Gingerbread81	5	573	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Today A Little Tougher (Preview) Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...	Jozie	2	544	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	I am leaving my AH. (Preview) I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...	so_tired	11	714	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Punching Bag (Preview) Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...	JD	14	831	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	How much should I interfere? (Preview) Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...	goldie7108	6	687	Sep 6, 2012 by Diva
	What Words Did You Use to Tell Them It's Over (Preview) I am ready to move on. After the suicide attempt last week, my AH is in 30 day treatment program. I know it is time to tell him we can't live under the same roof anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how you expressed this to your A in the most healthy way possible. I don't want to trudge out my laundry list of...	TrudyS85	12	696	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	My Night (Preview) So I was prepared to have nice relaxing evening. Yes A was pissed I wouldn't allow his A friend to come A and drink in our home. So he left in mad rage to go see him 30 minutes away. Only 20 minutes later he walks back in the door. Tells me on and on that's it's our damn house and if he wants his friends over (they c...	InspiredPhotography	9	573	Sep 7, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Opening up (Preview) AH went back to a meeting last night after missing several weeks and relapsing. When he got home he was very open about his feelings and the "whys" and "what fors". I just listened. He told me he realized something yesterday. He's in an authority position being the bosses son. He...	JAMIE74	4	577	Sep 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Panic Attack (Preview) I think I am having my first panic attack. The more I read about Florida divorce laws the more I am freaking out. The laws here are very unfriendly, no fault state. I am reading horror stories about people having to pay lifetime alimony - lifetime!! I admit I am panicking and I know this is premature but my...	TrudyS85	2	444	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Hoping for a good day...so much for that (Preview) This is part of my reply from on one of my earlier posts... ..."Luckily he hadn't been drinking yesterday, he was in bed all day. After I got there with the kids he got up to say hi and back to bed he went and only got up to eat, not interacting with his kids at all. I had to work this morning and he got up to a...	JAMIE74	5	589	Sep 6, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	sober husband yet i am lonely... (Preview) hi everyone, i feel so alone. there is no intimacy in my marriage. husband is 2 years sober and active in aa. i am involved in alanon. i cannot figure out how to put the spark back into my marriage. we rarely touch, hug or kiss. sex once a year (and not very fulfilling) we live together like best fri...	debhud	7	934	Sep 6, 2012 by Samagi
	Today Is My Birthday - Life Sucks (Preview) Today is my birthday, no flowers, no parties, my gift was my AH trying to kill himself Tuesday, now he is tucked away in 30 day program, as usual the world is taking care of him. Who takes care of me? I went to the lawyer yesterday, he said that this is a long process, but ultimately my AH will not only get alim...	TrudyS85	13	830	Sep 6, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Just about Me (Preview) Hi everyone. I am feeling alittle down. I miss my girls so much. They are both back to school. Not only that I have been experiencing dizzy spells, at times I actually forget things. Like things I wouldn't. Which really has been scaring me. I am only 32 years old. Sense of familiarity seems to be distorte...	InspiredPhotography	3	447	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	general questions from someone just starting out (Preview) My wife just completed a 30 day inpatient treatment program. Before she went in our mariiage was disasterous. Infidelity (multiple times), drunk to the point of blacking out multiple time per week, frighteneing behavior when drinking, multiple attempts at suicide that came via text messages whi...	Steveareeno	7	622	Sep 6, 2012 by Steveareeno
	How often do you call your sponsor? (Preview) Hey Guys, I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my lif...	slogan_jim	6	1158	Sep 6, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Stressed out (Preview) I'm stressed out. And probably starting to get depressed. I've not progressed enough on my PhD to pass the first year and will write up what I've done for the past year as an MPhil, still a good qualification. I've been given 3 months money from the university to do this. Its been a massive shock I left a g...	jitsuka	1	526	Sep 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Guilty? (Preview) Why do I feel guilty? He's been in bed for 4 days so my son and I decide to go see a movie and go eat this afternoon. I asked AH if he wanted to go and he said no. So I am gone 20 minutes and he is calling trying to make me feel bad about leaving him alone. Why didn't I go get him some lunch and bring back to him before I w...	JAMIE74	13	645	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	stressed out (Preview) my a b/f came over to visit labor day drunk as a mop,i told him no that i wouldnt couldnt have a sexual relationship with him any more he got offensive of course and i told him that he was sooo drunk he used that as an excuse to leave and take what few other things he had left here with him,so ok,he lost his cell p...	silent	3	429	Sep 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Pawning things and panhandling (Preview) Once he spends his whole paycheck, he starts pawning things and even panhandling to get money for alcohol. Yes, there is always money for drinks. ALWAYS! even if there is no money for rent. GRRR. I was expectingi t to be raining/storming big time when I woke up this morning but it wasn't. It's overcast a...	callmemara	12	786	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	Hi (Preview) Hi my MIP family. I'm finding it tough these last few months but reading here keeps me supported. My husband's illness has kept him debilitated all summer, Im distressed at how diminished my big strong handsome guy has become..he goes for a heart procedure next week. The grief of our loss (death of our...	Ness	8	631	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I like Tradition Eight (Preview) We had a tradtion eight meeting at my home group this week. I have always liked this tradition and it's statement of Alanon as a program of equals. I'm not sure I would have kept coming back if people in Alanon meetings had exerted themselves as authorities of physical health, mental health, finance...	tiredtonite	4	858	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	Gotta get this off my chest (Preview) Just need to get this out. Not sure why but I can't seem to find the voice or the words to say what I'm really feeling to my sponsor, or during group. It feels like I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. A very lonely place. Feeling very desperate and this is a way I know I can reach out, other than this I li...	mehere80	5	649	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I need advice (Preview) As anyone who read the post i created yesterday knows; I am a non-drinker married to an 'AH' as this site calls it. Yesterday we had a very large fight and he placed hands on me. Fed up, angry and scared; I grabbed everything that belonged to me and moved back into my old room at my parents house. Today I a...	Inuyami	6	622	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I hate my life (Preview) My AH has stolen from me. Run up huge debts. Driven intoxicated with my children many times. Been fired from his last three jobs. Been to detox, then immediately started drinking again. Been back to detox. Is now out for the second time and he's a dry drunk. Not drinking, but still behaving like...	holivex	11	685	Sep 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thank You Grammie (Preview) So today I ended up in chat. I had not felt well all day. Probably stress related. Well Grammie got me talking about my girls. Felt pretty proud. They are amazing children. I can go on and on about them. They are so sensitive, sweet, kind, courageous, caring and very communicative. They make my reason fo...	InspiredPhotography	5	368	Sep 5, 2012 by grammie
	I don't know why?? (Preview) I'm reading posts and slowly things are starting to sink in .. lol .. I'm a slow learner, hard headed as all get out and a fast forgetter as I've heard told and I def fall into that catagory. The sharing stuff is really really hard. How to put that focus on me and not be focused on the A in my life. I'm real...	Pushka	15	648	Sep 5, 2012 by pinkchip
	So much anger! (Preview) My AH has been in rehab for 30 days today and my life has been a rollercoaster. Some days I am happy and I cope fine but others, like today, I am raging. And I cannot control it. My dogs are cowering in their kennels. Everything my children do sends me over the edge. I am so angry at everything and I don't reall...	Kismet	7	665	Sep 5, 2012 by Kismet
	Letting Go..... so hard (Preview) It's going on 2 months of complete craziness with X-ABF. Starting on July 4th when he put the gun to his head. A lot more horrible things have happened since that day. After living together for 6 yrs I asked him to leave. I literally thought I was losing my mind and I had to separate, BUT it still feels like y...	IWannaFly	11	1596	Sep 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recurring Dream Re-written (Preview) I'm going to Paris soon. I'm excited. I love it there. For reasons I now question, I haven't been there in over 30 years. Can it really be that long? Dang! Since my teen yearsyears I've had a recurring dream that a trip to Paris has become available to me suddenly (LOL). I'm so thrilled -- and then somethin...	Jill	3	479	Sep 5, 2012 by pineapple
	did anyone notice how crazy Labor Day weekend is? (Preview) I am so aware of how some holiday weekends are but this one took the cake! I see so much excessive drinking in my present home town that it is actually sad. Not everyone is an alcoholic but they sure try to be. In my hometown, we celebrate like none other. I am so glad that even though it is fun, I am glad it is ov...	Hoot Nanny	3	485	Sep 5, 2012 by pineapple
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.