The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A son just left the house --- headed for his 1st AA meeting. After the incident where I had the police remove him from my home a couple of days ago, it took him one day to get over his anger (he had to walk 6 hrs to get home) then it took him another day to re-coop enough so he could walk on his sore legs. My heart broke at seeing the pain he was in but I had to do it, ya know.
Anyway, just a few minutes before he was ready to leave for the meeting one of his customers called needing some emergency work done to secure one of her rentals - his dilema was that he didn't want to miss the meeting but he didn't want to miss out on the job either. My suggestion was that he needed to focus on himself tonite - his very life is at stake here.
He worked it out that he could make the meeting at 6;00 then drop by the rental unit on his way home.
I've walked with him as far as I can now it's up to him. This is just the 1st step and it is not a cure-all but it is a BIG 1st step.
Path, thank you for updating us on how your son is doing. I had been wondering since your last post. I cannot tell you how proud I am! Amazing step in your journey as well as encouraging your son. I know it hurts but we can't feel guitly. They need to face their own issues. You are not taking ownship of his behaviours, you are putting them back where they belong. On him. Ball is in his court now. What will it be?
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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)
Oh just a big hug from me. I find myself so often having to be the strong one. We get kudos, love and yet it is so painful to go through. You know you did the right thing, I just offer hugs as I know the pain.
So Happy that you are Taking Care of You and Allowing Him to take Care of Himself... We ALL Need Growth & this is his Turn to Grow... Keeping you in Continued Prayers... :)
Yeah, it's so funny.... we all look for "signs", and our A's are no exception....
It would have been real easy for your son to view that call as a 'sign' that he wasn't meant to go to the AA meeting..... Good on ya, for gently supporting/steering him, while still allowing him the dignity of making his own decisions....
I say "full marks" for Path!!!
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Tom: you read the same thing into that phone call that I did!! :-}
When he came home from the meeting he instantly went to the computer & started googling meetings - I asked if he wasn't able to find that particular one and he said that he went. The meeting was general in nature at the beginning then broke out the newcomers for a private meeting & he said that he liked it and could so relate to everything he heard but it was too short...he wanted more.
He's already googled more meetings today & has one scheduled for noon. I have no expectations but I will hold onto hope.
Back to add one more thing: In going thru this with my son I've found that I am in need of a refresher course relating to my own behavior. I've been away from Al-anon for some time and in dealing with my husband's illness & some decreased brain functions due to strokes, I catch myself being very snippy with him a good part of the time. I get really ticked off when I have to repeat things multiple times - my patience with him goes straight into the toilet and there in lies the rub -- I'm my A father all over again.
My HP has a plan for me I know - I just wish I could turn to that last chapter to see where it is that I'm supposed to end up. But since I can't, I'll accept the veiled path and try to walk it faith.
And it is a blessing that you knew the place for him to go and were able to guide him. I know this was not easy for you but the fact that you have a program in place allowed you to handle it with what seems to be a lot of grace.
