http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

Please help me

mrs sad and lonely · Member

i am mum of tree children, hubby off work due to depression has been yrs, now doesnt take his tablets, he drinkf from afternoon thru til bed sometime late afternoon, he has been known to call sexual lines and run up £1000s on phone bill i keep saying thats it enough now and he says no moe, but i cant get him to give up the drink compleatly he will drink anything from 6-10 cans at night not every night but if its here he dont no when to stop, i feel so down and sad this isnt how i wanted my marrage, anyone else in same situation

InspiredPhotography · Senior Member

I am. My S/O has been depressed forever and a day. When he first left his ex he told me it was being she was cheating on him. She had a child by the man she had an affair with. I finally was told he was depressed before then. I thought okay, give him time. He will bounce back. I am finding more things out that I never knew. I wish I had knew. I should have known so I could have made a better decision. I have tried to get him to stay on his meds. He doesn't like how they feel. He went for counselling, he doesn't want to go. He says nothing helps. So now I am here, alone dealing with him. He blames everything on me. Eventhough I worry if he is cheating, he says he never would do that. Yet he asks me every single day...find a new man? Want to be with someone else? Find a rich man? On and on. He makes me feel horrible. I am so devoted to him. He spends hours sleeping. He barely helps me around the house. My dad came from out West for the first time and wow what a treat! My dad did the dishes, he did my gardening (I have had no time to do it), he cooked for me, he told me to have a rest (he took both my girls and just lavished so much attention, he played with then (wii & sports outside). My S/O never does that.

I do understand. Now that my S/O is so depressed he wants to drink again, he wants to do pot again. He said living a live of soberty is boring & it sucks.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Mrs Sad and Lonely

Welcome to Miracle in Progress I am so glad that you found us and would like to assure you that, Yes my Dear, there are thousands of us worldwide who understand and have experienced exactly the same behavior that you describe.

Alanon is a fellowship of people who live or have lived with the problems of alcoholism. We believe that alcoholism is a disease over which we are completely powerless. As a result of living with the disease, our lives become unmanageable and we need a true program of recovery. Alanon is that program.

We have Face to Face meetings Worldwide and I would like to suggest that you check out the meetings in your community and attend. Here is the web site you might visit ll for meeting information:

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/

At these meetings we break the painful isolation caused by alcoholism and slowly learn how to "Live one day at a time focused on ourselves, our needs, our lives and to turn our lives and loved ones over to the care of a Higher Power.

Please keep coming back here and sharing the journey .

There is Hope and you are worth it.

mrs sad and lonely · Member

he dont do anything around the house he used to do all garden ect but now its or i havent had time but he just sits on laptop all day, i try to get him to take his meds for depression but he just say il take them in a min then its oh i forgot, i have tryed and tryed to help him, just dont no what to do anymore

InspiredPhotography · Senior Member

Mrs Sad. You can't help him. He has to help himself. Trust me. My girls and I have tried every single day to make him happy. We go overkill in doing it. My girls are like, Hey Dad I made you coffee! I make a huge beautiful breakfast, and it takes him half hour to get down the stairs to actually enjoy it. Sometimes he won't even come down. My girls always lavish love thinking he will melt. He doesn't. He just pushes them away. When he gets up he is right on his phone looking at Facebook, when he is finished a meal, he goes and sits on the couch again back on Facebook, when he comes home, he is glued to the TV and yep Facebook again.

You aren't alone hun. By no means you aren't alone. It is okay to feel at your twits end, because when you are there, it means something new has to begin.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

BETTINA S/O =SIGNIFICENT OTHER smile

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

thanks Hotrod!

mrs sad and lonely · Member

well been up most th enight just thinking his still in bed as he had a skin full last night

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Mrs Sad and Lonely

Please take care of yourself. You did not cause this, you cannot control him, and you cannot cure him. The only hope for a manageable life for you is for you to learn to take care of yourself and detach from his actions. Please consider alanon meetings.

Alanon is a fellowship of people who live or have lived with the problems of alcoholism. We believe that alcoholism is a disease over which we are completely powerless. As a result of living with the disease, our lives become unmanageable and we need a true program of recovery. Alanon is that program.

We have Face to Face meetings Worldwide and I would like to suggest that you check out the meetings in your community and attend. Here is the web site you might visit ll for meeting information:

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/

At these meetings we break the painful isolation caused by alcoholism and slowly learn how to "Live one day at a time focused on ourselves, our needs, our lives and to turn our lives and loved ones over to the care of a Higher Power.

Please keep coming back here and sharing the journey .

There is Hope and you are worth it.

mrs sad and lonely · Member

well he got up 10.30, and hasnt even spoken to me, why do i feel as if his trying to punish me

InspiredPhotography · Senior Member

Mrs Sad ~ I understand how you feel. Remember he is only filling his needs. I am quickly learning the addictive behaviours is ME, MYSELF and I.

mrs sad and lonely · Member

just such a atmisfere, hating it

mrs sad and lonely · Member

the constant stomping round the house, slaming doors why do they do this

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Mrs sad

i HAVE FOUND THAT i AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ATMOSPHERE THAT I LIVE IN. If it is dismal and empty in the house I have detached from the pain by turning on some music, reading an inspirational book, or gone for a walk, . Motion changes Emotions.

Pleasse know that even if it is difficult we must begin to take care of ourselves without focusing on others.

mrs sad and lonely · Member

my kids i feel sorry for he hasnt spoken to them either

InspiredPhotography · Senior Member

Mrs Sad. Come to the online chat :) Its open chat! :)

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/

At these meetings we break the painful isolation caused by alcoholism and slowly learn how to "Live one day at a time focused on ourselves, our needs, our lives and to turn our lives and loved ones over to the care of a Higher Power.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/

At these meetings we break the painful isolation caused by alcoholism and slowly learn how to "Live one day at a time focused on ourselves, our needs, our lives and to turn our lives and loved ones over to the care of a Higher Power.