Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

chinup · chinup

its me silent ,i lost my password so i had to get another one,so it came back as chinup instead of silent this time dunno y,ive been reading posts here and thinking to myself why why why do i keep going back into it,even though he is trying so hard to stop his drinking by slowing down ,its never he will never g...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My STBXAH's actions this past week have caused me to lose my serenity. I signed over our home of 25 years to him a week ago Friday in order to be released from the mortgage as a part of our divorce settlement and our court settlement with the mortgage company. On Monday, my divorce lawyer informed me that h...

dragonflys · dragonflys

He has continued through the entire weekend. Some of the things he said really hit me to the core. Now I am wondering if the whole, "no phone calls, only text or email" is working for me??? I cant forget what he said, its there in black and white. The phone conversation is fuzzy, I cant re...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

As I pondered with heavy concern my son's upcoming major back surgery (where the Dr.s have to enter him from both the stomach and the back) my son noticed the toll it was taking on me and simply said, "Mom, the big guy in the sky already has it handled, let's not sweat the small stuff." I was once...

denro · denro

Tomorrow, Monday my ex investment investment partner has a financial promise to keep. It's not even a huge amount of money in relation to the whole of our past dealings and what I am owed, however I am really dealing with that he will lie one more time. He has a three to five year history of breaking his wor...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks

rellik · rellik

I finally asked/told her to move out. She has no place to go she told me. She moved into our spare bedroom. I keep loosing and gaining my resolve. I go from crap i dont want her to leave to i gotta do this for me. I get home from work and i can smell her perfume and it kills me. Every essance of her still lingers he...

oliveoyl · oliveoyl

Hi Everyone! I was told this group would be a good thing for me, even though it relates to narcotics more-so than alcohol. An addiction is an addiction, I suppose. Might be long-winded, but here goes: I've been together with my boyfriend for a year now. We knew eachother all through grade school and rec...

Overcome · Overcome

Step Two was a very important step for me and a building block for the other steps that follow. When I first started Al-anon 21 years ago, this step wasn't too difficult for me, because I had such a strong belief in God. Lately however I have had to rework this step and "come to believe" all over...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but we had a death in the family and that has taken a lot of time to deal with. Anyway...thanks to those who joined me in this quest to support each other's efforts to take care of ourselves. Physical: I spent 10 minutes putting on makeup for the funeral, which I usally don...

skmz · skmz

Hi, its so amazing that this board exisits and how helpful everyone is here. I could really use some help right now. I have been/was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years with my AGF. I always knew she was an addict. I saw it from very begnining. I even started going to ALANON for a period of time last year, which...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Thank God for al anon, this message board and all that I have learned. If not for those things I would be in the loony bin right now. Wanted to give you an example of the mentality that I am dealing with. As you probably remember, my AH lost his job on Wednesday. I have not spoken to him since he called me the...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

OK, I'm in one of my moods, LOL! I'm tired of being the one who does everything around here. Now, don't get me wrong; my son and AH will do things but only when I ask and I feel like I've got 2 teenaged boys here instead of ONE! So, in honor of the title of the thread and in honor of this saying: YOU CAN'T GO TO TH...

ccl7445 · ccl7445

I feel lie giving up. Every day is anotherday to cry and get hurt. I cant help him. I just dont get it. I care so much but he chooses to drink. He threatens to kick me out every other night when he is drinking he starts pulling out guns, he tellls me im fat ugly i have streach marks I have a ugly hair cut. he can pic...

Kate123 · Kate123

Just asking because it's becoming more of a possibility that I may end up having to do that. But I'm not totally ready to throw in the towel just yet. Honestly, it would be an easier decison to make and stick with if he drank most every day. Instead he's a bing drinker and can go as long as 8 days in between...

Embry · Embry

My husband whom I love to death was three years sober oct 11th. We had met a few years before we started dating though our families. Our families are full of alcoholics and none of them want to change that. I rarely drink like maybe once a year because I don't tolerate it well and don't feel the need to. We me...

SendMeAngels · SendMeAngels

Hi everyone! This is my first post on the boards, and it's about something that's been bothering me for a long time. I am hoping that someone who has had a similar life can give me some advice, or at the very least some reassurance that I'm not the only one feeling like this. To begin, I am 25, and my father is...

sweets · sweets

My boyfriend has been sober for about 5 months now. How do I react and not be so needy or pushy? I am new to this, I was referred to Alonon. I want to know as much as I can so I do not push him away. He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. Can someone please give me some advice? I would appreciate an...

dragonflys · dragonflys

Havent spoken to my AH in about 2 weeks. He calls this morning and verbally vomits all over me. Should never have answered the phone. I started to wonder why he felt it was ok to talk to me that way, to put me down, blame me for everything, call me names, accuse me of cheating.... When we hung up the phone....

Itzli · Itzli

Needless to say, I'm a little bit freaked out for even starting to reach out and look for help in my situation. Really, I don't want to believe I'm in a situation to begin with, so this is really hard. I just run out of options and pretending that it doesn't exist isn't helping. So, here I am. My husband is...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am a country music lover!!! Anyone watching Nashville!! :) Little Miss by Sugarland (I think I posted it on another thread but here are the lyrics) Little miss done on love Little miss, I give up Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore Little miss checkered dress Little miss, o...

abbyal · abbyal

If there is one thing I have learned in my years in this program is that I cannot help anyone with a problem if I myself have not experienced what they are dealing with , and my solution is to find someone in program who has been there done that and direct them to the person asking for help . I have the privele...

Overcome · Overcome

I lived with the active disease of alcoholism in my past, I don't today. However, I do live with the active disease of my mother's Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful to Al-anon for having been in this program, because it has taught me how to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am trying to get my 20...

Inuyami · Inuyami

HELP!!! These last couple nights have been so hard and I feel like I'm right back where I started when I first left my AH on labor day.Thursday I met up with my AH at the mall to do some clothes shopping. I had him meet me there so we could talk... but very little talking was actually done. He returned some...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

What a relief! How stupid I am to think that you would be fired as a financial consultant when you test 3x over the legal limit to drive during business hours. Thank God my AH called to set the record straight.

I was prepared for total devastation or even rage at me but not delusion. When...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

One thing that I always had a hard time doing was asking for help. My alcoholic father raised me as a single parent so there was never a lot of help to rely on. Financially and emotionally, the alcoholic struggled day to day. We werent a wealthy family, a connected family or even a healthy cohesive family...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

This passed summer, my AH and I were separated for the fourth time (due to cheating, lying, stealing, drug use). I was working 2,000 miles away and even though I was not looking for another relationship, I ended up falling head over heals for someone. I didn't let that relationship evolve due to the fac...

Chaya · Chaya

Had a great women's meeting this morning. Happy to have a newcomer and share on the topic of fellowship. Today I am grateful for all the new women I have met in this program. I love all my sisters. Chaya

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say that it does get better for those of you who are in the middle of the mess! My friend is doing much better daily. She is doing for herself things that she couldn't do before. She prays & has faith. I am so proud of her. She can sometimes be an inspiration to me. Her values have changed &...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It seems like every time I try to do the right thing it always comes out wrong???????????????? I am so frustrated w/ myself it seems like it never ends. I have been on my AH for days. I think I know why--I have been having trouble w/ my weight(outside issue) but it kills me when my weight starts to go up &...

DavidG · DavidG

The 'no cross-talk rule' has been a recent thing in 12 steps groups. How does this apply to Alanon- any ideas? In my home group, if we have a new member we have a 'Step 1 meeting'. This is where everyone share how and why they came to Alanon. Sometimes if asked for members offer opinions but not advice- '...

Overcome · Overcome

In our Courage to Change (C2C) daily mediation book it says, "The Al-anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately." I thought that this was so...

kemmaw · kemmaw

Well...there you go. He left tonight... He came home drunk....feel asleep on the couch for an hour. He had a go at me and the kids...slammed my hand in a draw. I asked him not to take it out on the kids. He told me not to start on him and he left.... I am left crying and a bit bemused... I have to work at 8...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

Please pray for my son, Matt, just dropped him off at the airport with another student and dad. They are going to AZ to try out for the Arizona Senior Classic Baseball Academic team for high school. My son has done so well, despite this disease with his dad.....group prayer is so powerful....thanks for...

kemmaw · kemmaw

I have been living with a man now for 3 years...he was a drinker when we met but I didn't realise how much and how it was steadily increasing until the beginning of 2012. We both have children and its a tough family situation. He drinks from 3pm in the pub every day and then carries on with 2 bottles of wine a...

John · John

The Husband StoreA brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may...

UK Jane · UK Jane

Hi, I'm doing a long share at my home group on Friday - the topic is "Gratitude". I've been thinking about it for a while. I realised that I have never said that I'm a "grateful member" of Al-anon, even though I am. Why? Well I worked it out and it stems from my childhood. I'm an A...

Tigger · Tigger

Over the past couple of weeks, I've slowly been learning about compassion. I had no idea how to do that until now because I felt so angry and abandoned. The more I read about this being an illness, and here how strong and serene long timers appera to be with compassion toward their As, the more it's been si...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I don't know about you all, but I could use a positive sharing thread! What's everyone up to this weekend? My daughters will be here, and my oldest (who is almost 13) has decided to cut off her fabulous long hair. She will be donating it to charity, and getting a funky "hip" haircut. She's...

John · John

IT CAN'T BE BLOCKED, NEVER WILL BE... IT'S STRONGER THAN ALL THE MEASURES YOU WILL TAKE AGAINST IT.... IT'S CALLED LOVE. As the Velveteen Rabbit says, "I discovered I was real, when all my hair was pulled from my head, an eye ball was missing, an ear torn, and my stuffing coming out because I was carried...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok, .. I'm going to own the fact my crystal ball is broken and I want a refund darn you Crystal Ball R Us .. soooo not what I ordered!!!

I have had these floating thoughts running rampet in my head recently due to many things that have been coming to pass. Some are right and some like I said big o...

teachmath · teachmath

Once again my alcoholic bf acted out but this time I am taking a stand. I listened to what people here had to say, and I am no longer engaging in his games and not allowing him to ruin my life. He was down here from Wednesday through Monday, and we barely saw each other, except when I helped him out. We did h...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I could use some opinions. Since my AH got out of rehab (about 3 weeks ago) we have seperated, he keeps telling me he wants to be the husband I deserve and will show me by his actions how much he loves me and how dedicated he is to our marriage. I come to find out he is on the internet having all kinds of communi...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

WOW, this is harder than I thought! Thanks to the great suggestions I got from my post I was able to be flexible and come up with some, they are pretty basic, but that is where I am at right now... physical care: I spent ten minutes taking a quick hot bath rather than a quickie 5 minute shower mental care: I...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Me! Boy what an eye opener LOL. I've been battling some sort of non-identifiable illness for over 6 months now. It is the type of illness you do not want to discuss with anyone, can keep you from having a normal day and is humiliating and humbling. I've got medication making it so I can work but the idea...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I first want to thank everyone for the advice and support. I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting today. I decided not to tell my wife where I was going, but not lie about it. It is during my lunch break from work and if the wife asks, I went to get some counselling. My thought process is it is none o...

rellik · rellik

This week is hell. My AWs actions and words are completly contradictory. E-mails of love and making up for the pain. Sexy txts to some other guy, about how she wants to be with him. So I told her to accept her fate and move out, move in with him if she wants to. She refused and she keeps telling me she will find...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I have been looking lately how impossible it was for me to say no thanks to relationships that were difficult,mired in problems and complicated. I think I had some compulsion to both suffer and to rescue people from their situation. I felt so responsible for everyone and like it wasn't in my capacit...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I don't often give myself over to anger. I tend to believe that anger is often a mask for another deeper feeling (embarrassment, sadness, disappointment, etc.), and I try to understand what's *really* going on when I feel angry, mostly because I HATE it when other people take their anger out on me and...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, it only took 3 weeks out of rehab and my AH is spiraling. He calls me to ask a question about his taxes and from there it goes off the rails. He's going on and on about not having enough money and he is stopping therapy and stopping his meds for his bipolar. I remind him I am paying for his meds and his the...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

I struggled with this for so many years. I was the healthy clean living vegan totally drug free health nut, not even OTC drugs, HE was the addict who drank like a fish until he was urinating in any container he could find in the house during blackouts. What? I am sick also? I don't think so, I am the one ke...

Icie · Icie

phoned my granddaughter 3 weeks ago & asked her if she would like a set of my china dishes with crystal glasses, tea pot, coffee pot , cream & sugar absolutely everything, setting for 12 people & complete silver ware set, for her hope chest. Her reply was definitely...I replied please...

mum2three · mum2three

Hi Everyone I am new to the forum and so thankful i found you. My husband has been sober (drugs and alcohol) for 7 years and attends AA regularly. My situation is my husband has recently started socializing with his "old friends" again, most of whom still drink. I had started having some an...

Rick3358 · Rick3358

New to this board. My son's drinking finally caused our family to hit a new low. After a brief altercation I told him to leave. I knew the day would come, prayed that it would not but there is was. He moved out. In following phone conversations I made it clear as long as he his drinking he will n...

Kismet · Kismet

I am so depressed today I just want to go to sleep and wake up to a new life. My AH has been in rehab since early August and is doing very well. He came home last weekend because he had done his step 5 and they start integrating slowly back into the outside world after that stage. We were both extremely anxious...

unsure2012 · unsure2012

I am new to the forum but not new to my codependent way. For several years I went to therapy and I actually believed I was improving. However, I am back at square one. When my husband and I started dating the red flags were all over the place, but I chose to ignore them. I ignored them because he and I had be...

Alan66 · Alan66

I found out 45 days ago that my wife of 21 years is an alcoholic. I always suspected there was a problem going on but couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was a binge drinker, mostly on weekends, who just didn't know when enough was enough. I would try to get her to leave parties when she was drunk but nothi...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

Hi, I first joined alanon ten years ago and it helped me tremendously in some ways, well, in the ways that I applied the program. Like many first time alanoners, I mostly came to whine and complain about my A and hope to get some tips on how to deal with a hopeless A. Well, I did get that in the casual conver...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana `O MIP...Good morning MIP Family...The day has started her on Moku Keawe...The Big Island of Hawaii...much later than many of you and then it's here. Puppers have been walked and the Pinch let out so she can get in her pool. My laughs start with them. The wild birds have been fe...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Got a call from my AH's boss today @ 4pm. She said that he had failed an alcohol test. They had asked him to have someone pick him up from work but he drove off so the bank attorney's said they had to notify the police. She called me, not knowing that we have been separated for 2 months now, to see if he had mad...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	im back (Preview) its me silent ,i lost my password so i had to get another one,so it came back as chinup instead of silent this time dunno y,ive been reading posts here and thinking to myself why why why do i keep going back into it,even though he is trying so hard to stop his drinking by slowing down ,its never he will never g...	chinup	4	344	Oct 16, 2012 by chinup
	Fair is Fair? (Preview) My STBXAH's actions this past week have caused me to lose my serenity. I signed over our home of 25 years to him a week ago Friday in order to be released from the mortgage as a part of our divorce settlement and our court settlement with the mortgage company. On Monday, my divorce lawyer informed me that h...	Green Eyes	8	578	Oct 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	and it continues and continues and continues (Preview) He has continued through the entire weekend. Some of the things he said really hit me to the core. Now I am wondering if the whole, "no phone calls, only text or email" is working for me??? I cant forget what he said, its there in black and white. The phone conversation is fuzzy, I cant re...	dragonflys	7	584	Oct 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	HP is GOOD!! (Preview) As I pondered with heavy concern my son's upcoming major back surgery (where the Dr.s have to enter him from both the stomach and the back) my son noticed the toll it was taking on me and simply said, "Mom, the big guy in the sky already has it handled, let's not sweat the small stuff." I was once...	Peggy7	6	319	Oct 15, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Facing a possible let down on Monday (Preview) Tomorrow, Monday my ex investment investment partner has a financial promise to keep. It's not even a huge amount of money in relation to the whole of our past dealings and what I am owed, however I am really dealing with that he will lie one more time. He has a three to five year history of breaking his wor...	denro	9	536	Oct 15, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	209	Oct 15, 2012 by shimo
	told her to move out (Preview) I finally asked/told her to move out. She has no place to go she told me. She moved into our spare bedroom. I keep loosing and gaining my resolve. I go from crap i dont want her to leave to i gotta do this for me. I get home from work and i can smell her perfume and it kills me. Every essance of her still lingers he...	rellik	11	615	Oct 15, 2012 by hdftby100
	At a crossroads about boyfriend's drug use (I'm a newbie!) (Preview) Hi Everyone! I was told this group would be a good thing for me, even though it relates to narcotics more-so than alcohol. An addiction is an addiction, I suppose. Might be long-winded, but here goes: I've been together with my boyfriend for a year now. We knew eachother all through grade school and rec...	oliveoyl	6	469	Oct 15, 2012 by hotrod
	STEP TWO - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (Preview) Step Two was a very important step for me and a building block for the other steps that follow. When I first started Al-anon 21 years ago, this step wasn't too difficult for me, because I had such a strong belief in God. Lately however I have had to rework this step and "come to believe" all over...	Overcome	8	876	Oct 15, 2012 by Overcome
	Taking Care of Me...day 2 (Preview) Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but we had a death in the family and that has taken a lot of time to deal with. Anyway...thanks to those who joined me in this quest to support each other's efforts to take care of ourselves. Physical: I spent 10 minutes putting on makeup for the funeral, which I usally don...	ForeverAlanon	3	388	Oct 15, 2012 by tortuga
	new to this program and need some insight please (Preview) Hi, its so amazing that this board exisits and how helpful everyone is here. I could really use some help right now. I have been/was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years with my AGF. I always knew she was an addict. I saw it from very begnining. I even started going to ALANON for a period of time last year, which...	skmz	4	476	Oct 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	An Alcoholic's Mentality in a Crisis (Preview) Thank God for al anon, this message board and all that I have learned. If not for those things I would be in the loony bin right now. Wanted to give you an example of the mentality that I am dealing with. As you probably remember, my AH lost his job on Wednesday. I have not spoken to him since he called me the...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	999	Oct 15, 2012 by Pushka
	The Vent Thread! (Preview) OK, I'm in one of my moods, LOL! I'm tired of being the one who does everything around here. Now, don't get me wrong; my son and AH will do things but only when I ask and I feel like I've got 2 teenaged boys here instead of ONE! So, in honor of the title of the thread and in honor of this saying: YOU CAN'T GO TO TH...	ilovedogs	9	530	Oct 15, 2012 by denro
	How Can I handel MY boyfriends alcholism??????? (Preview) I feel lie giving up. Every day is anotherday to cry and get hurt. I cant help him. I just dont get it. I care so much but he chooses to drink. He threatens to kick me out every other night when he is drinking he starts pulling out guns, he tellls me im fat ugly i have streach marks I have a ugly hair cut. he can pic...	ccl7445	11	542	Oct 15, 2012 by Kate123
	Need suggestions on how I would force my Alcoholic to move out of our home if it comes to that (I own it)?? (Preview) Just asking because it's becoming more of a possibility that I may end up having to do that. But I'm not totally ready to throw in the towel just yet. Honestly, it would be an easier decison to make and stick with if he drank most every day. Instead he's a bing drinker and can go as long as 8 days in between...	Kate123	7	562	Oct 15, 2012 by Kate123
	He's sober 3 years and we don't know how to deal with it. (Preview) My husband whom I love to death was three years sober oct 11th. We had met a few years before we started dating though our families. Our families are full of alcoholics and none of them want to change that. I rarely drink like maybe once a year because I don't tolerate it well and don't feel the need to. We me...	Embry	6	541	Oct 14, 2012 by Embry
	Trouble With Intimacy (Preview) Hi everyone! This is my first post on the boards, and it's about something that's been bothering me for a long time. I am hoping that someone who has had a similar life can give me some advice, or at the very least some reassurance that I'm not the only one feeling like this. To begin, I am 25, and my father is...	SendMeAngels	3	491	Oct 14, 2012 by SendMeAngels
	dating a newly sober person (Preview) My boyfriend has been sober for about 5 months now. How do I react and not be so needy or pushy? I am new to this, I was referred to Alonon. I want to know as much as I can so I do not push him away. He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. Can someone please give me some advice? I would appreciate an...	sweets	15	4304	Oct 14, 2012 by Maiasaura
	Verbal vomit all over me (Preview) Havent spoken to my AH in about 2 weeks. He calls this morning and verbally vomits all over me. Should never have answered the phone. I started to wonder why he felt it was ok to talk to me that way, to put me down, blame me for everything, call me names, accuse me of cheating.... When we hung up the phone....	dragonflys	5	452	Oct 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Another newbie.. (Preview) Needless to say, I'm a little bit freaked out for even starting to reach out and look for help in my situation. Really, I don't want to believe I'm in a situation to begin with, so this is really hard. I just run out of options and pretending that it doesn't exist isn't helping. So, here I am. My husband is...	Itzli	20	687	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	My Theme Song (Preview) I am a country music lover!!! Anyone watching Nashville!! :) Little Miss by Sugarland (I think I posted it on another thread but here are the lyrics) Little miss done on love Little miss, I give up Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore Little miss checkered dress Little miss, o...	dragonflys	2	288	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	Feed back needed . (Preview) If there is one thing I have learned in my years in this program is that I cannot help anyone with a problem if I myself have not experienced what they are dealing with , and my solution is to find someone in program who has been there done that and direct them to the person asking for help . I have the privele...	abbyal	5	413	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	Practicing these principles in all our affairs (Preview) I lived with the active disease of alcoholism in my past, I don't today. However, I do live with the active disease of my mother's Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful to Al-anon for having been in this program, because it has taught me how to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am trying to get my 20...	Overcome	4	320	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	beating myself up! (Preview) HELP!!! These last couple nights have been so hard and I feel like I'm right back where I started when I first left my AH on labor day.Thursday I met up with my AH at the mall to do some clothes shopping. I had him meet me there so we could talk... but very little talking was actually done. He returned some...	Inuyami	2	415	Oct 14, 2012 by Mattie
	He Wasn't Fired, He Resigned (Preview) What a relief! How stupid I am to think that you would be fired as a financial consultant when you test 3x over the legal limit to drive during business hours. Thank God my AH called to set the record straight. I was prepared for total devastation or even rage at me but not delusion. When...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	423	Oct 14, 2012 by callmemara
	Michael Jordan never won without Scottie Pippen (share) (Preview) One thing that I always had a hard time doing was asking for help. My alcoholic father raised me as a single parent so there was never a lot of help to rely on. Financially and emotionally, the alcoholic struggled day to day. We werent a wealthy family, a connected family or even a healthy cohesive family...	slogan_jim	4	393	Oct 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Pending choices..... (Preview) This passed summer, my AH and I were separated for the fourth time (due to cheating, lying, stealing, drug use). I was working 2,000 miles away and even though I was not looking for another relationship, I ended up falling head over heals for someone. I didn't let that relationship evolve due to the fac...	RoseODAT	3	497	Oct 13, 2012 by Bettina
	Great meeting (Preview) Had a great women's meeting this morning. Happy to have a newcomer and share on the topic of fellowship. Today I am grateful for all the new women I have met in this program. I love all my sisters. Chaya	Chaya	2	234	Oct 13, 2012 by hotrod
	it does get better for sure for sure! (Preview) Just want to say that it does get better for those of you who are in the middle of the mess! My friend is doing much better daily. She is doing for herself things that she couldn't do before. She prays & has faith. I am so proud of her. She can sometimes be an inspiration to me. Her values have changed &...	Hoot Nanny	2	364	Oct 13, 2012 by DavidG
	what have I done wrong? (Preview) It seems like every time I try to do the right thing it always comes out wrong???????????????? I am so frustrated w/ myself it seems like it never ends. I have been on my AH for days. I think I know why--I have been having trouble w/ my weight(outside issue) but it kills me when my weight starts to go up &...	Hoot Nanny	5	493	Oct 13, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	No cross-talk in Alanon...? (Preview) The 'no cross-talk rule' has been a recent thing in 12 steps groups. How does this apply to Alanon- any ideas? In my home group, if we have a new member we have a 'Step 1 meeting'. This is where everyone share how and why they came to Alanon. Sometimes if asked for members offer opinions but not advice- '...	DavidG	8	2411	Oct 13, 2012 by DavidG
	ANGER and how I deal with it today. (Preview) In our Courage to Change (C2C) daily mediation book it says, "The Al-anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately." I thought that this was so...	Overcome	3	507	Oct 13, 2012 by GailMichelle
	He left tonight... (Preview) Well...there you go. He left tonight... He came home drunk....feel asleep on the couch for an hour. He had a go at me and the kids...slammed my hand in a draw. I asked him not to take it out on the kids. He told me not to start on him and he left.... I am left crying and a bit bemused... I have to work at 8...	kemmaw	4	408	Oct 13, 2012 by pinkchip
	Group Prayers Needed (Preview) Please pray for my son, Matt, just dropped him off at the airport with another student and dad. They are going to AZ to try out for the Arizona Senior Classic Baseball Academic team for high school. My son has done so well, despite this disease with his dad.....group prayer is so powerful....thanks for...	RobinKSC	13	387	Oct 13, 2012 by ccl7445
	New here and want to know if I am doing it all wrong! (Preview) I have been living with a man now for 3 years...he was a drinker when we met but I didn't realise how much and how it was steadily increasing until the beginning of 2012. We both have children and its a tough family situation. He drinks from 3pm in the pub every day and then carries on with 2 bottles of wine a...	kemmaw	6	431	Oct 13, 2012 by Zimmy
	The Husband Store... (Humor) (Preview) The Husband StoreA brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may...	John	7	394	Oct 13, 2012 by Zimmy
	Gratitude (Preview) Hi, I'm doing a long share at my home group on Friday - the topic is "Gratitude". I've been thinking about it for a while. I realised that I have never said that I'm a "grateful member" of Al-anon, even though I am. Why? Well I worked it out and it stems from my childhood. I'm an A...	UK Jane	5	721	Oct 13, 2012 by UK Jane
	Compassion equals detachment (Preview) Over the past couple of weeks, I've slowly been learning about compassion. I had no idea how to do that until now because I felt so angry and abandoned. The more I read about this being an illness, and here how strong and serene long timers appera to be with compassion toward their As, the more it's been si...	Tigger	6	980	Oct 12, 2012 by Itzli
	Weekend Plans? (Preview) I don't know about you all, but I could use a positive sharing thread! What's everyone up to this weekend? My daughters will be here, and my oldest (who is almost 13) has decided to cut off her fabulous long hair. She will be donating it to charity, and getting a funky "hip" haircut. She's...	stephaniej	13	519	Oct 12, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Love... (just a quick share) (Preview) IT CAN'T BE BLOCKED, NEVER WILL BE... IT'S STRONGER THAN ALL THE MEASURES YOU WILL TAKE AGAINST IT.... IT'S CALLED LOVE. As the Velveteen Rabbit says, "I discovered I was real, when all my hair was pulled from my head, an eye ball was missing, an ear torn, and my stuffing coming out because I was carried...	John	4	359	Oct 12, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Floating thoughts turned into a fact .. LOL!! (Preview) Ok, .. I'm going to own the fact my crystal ball is broken and I want a refund darn you Crystal Ball R Us .. soooo not what I ordered!!! I have had these floating thoughts running rampet in my head recently due to many things that have been coming to pass. Some are right and some like I said big o...	Pushka	4	483	Oct 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I am listening and standing my ground with bf (Preview) Once again my alcoholic bf acted out but this time I am taking a stand. I listened to what people here had to say, and I am no longer engaging in his games and not allowing him to ruin my life. He was down here from Wednesday through Monday, and we barely saw each other, except when I helped him out. We did h...	teachmath	5	523	Oct 12, 2012 by Itzli
	Need Some Second Opinions (Preview) I could use some opinions. Since my AH got out of rehab (about 3 weeks ago) we have seperated, he keeps telling me he wants to be the husband I deserve and will show me by his actions how much he loves me and how dedicated he is to our marriage. I come to find out he is on the internet having all kinds of communi...	TrudyS85	19	707	Oct 12, 2012 by TrudyS85
	My thirty minutes of taking care of me, day 1 (Preview) WOW, this is harder than I thought! Thanks to the great suggestions I got from my post I was able to be flexible and come up with some, they are pretty basic, but that is where I am at right now... physical care: I spent ten minutes taking a quick hot bath rather than a quickie 5 minute shower mental care: I...	ForeverAlanon	4	322	Oct 12, 2012 by Itzli
	Bad patient! (Preview) Me! Boy what an eye opener LOL. I've been battling some sort of non-identifiable illness for over 6 months now. It is the type of illness you do not want to discuss with anyone, can keep you from having a normal day and is humiliating and humbling. I've got medication making it so I can work but the idea...	AStrongerMe	5	335	Oct 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Was this the bait of the disease for me??? (Preview) I first want to thank everyone for the advice and support. I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting today. I decided not to tell my wife where I was going, but not lie about it. It is during my lunch break from work and if the wife asks, I went to get some counselling. My thought process is it is none o...	hdftby100	11	641	Oct 12, 2012 by kemmaw
	What a bad week this is turning out to be (Preview) This week is hell. My AWs actions and words are completly contradictory. E-mails of love and making up for the pain. Sexy txts to some other guy, about how she wants to be with him. So I told her to accept her fate and move out, move in with him if she wants to. She refused and she keeps telling me she will find...	rellik	6	571	Oct 12, 2012 by tortuga
	no thanks (Preview) I have been looking lately how impossible it was for me to say no thanks to relationships that were difficult,mired in problems and complicated. I think I had some compulsion to both suffer and to rescue people from their situation. I felt so responsible for everyone and like it wasn't in my capacit...	orchidlover	1	287	Oct 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I am so ANGRY this week! (Preview) I don't often give myself over to anger. I tend to believe that anger is often a mask for another deeper feeling (embarrassment, sadness, disappointment, etc.), and I try to understand what's really going on when I feel angry, mostly because I HATE it when other people take their anger out on me and...	stephaniej	12	560	Oct 12, 2012 by stephaniej
	How Do I Detach From This (Preview) Well, it only took 3 weeks out of rehab and my AH is spiraling. He calls me to ask a question about his taxes and from there it goes off the rails. He's going on and on about not having enough money and he is stopping therapy and stopping his meds for his bipolar. I remind him I am paying for his meds and his the...	TrudyS85	8	584	Oct 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	How is alcoholism a "family" disease when the A is the sick one? (Preview) I struggled with this for so many years. I was the healthy clean living vegan totally drug free health nut, not even OTC drugs, HE was the addict who drank like a fish until he was urinating in any container he could find in the house during blackouts. What? I am sick also? I don't think so, I am the one ke...	ForeverAlanon	10	564	Oct 12, 2012 by Auntyaya
	New Dilemma (Preview) phoned my granddaughter 3 weeks ago & asked her if she would like a set of my china dishes with crystal glasses, tea pot, coffee pot , cream & sugar absolutely everything, setting for 12 people & complete silver ware set, for her hope chest. Her reply was definitely...I replied please...	Icie	10	485	Oct 12, 2012 by Icie
	I'm new and need some perspective (Preview) Hi Everyone I am new to the forum and so thankful i found you. My husband has been sober (drugs and alcohol) for 7 years and attends AA regularly. My situation is my husband has recently started socializing with his "old friends" again, most of whom still drink. I had started having some an...	mum2three	6	507	Oct 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Asking son to leave (Preview) New to this board. My son's drinking finally caused our family to hit a new low. After a brief altercation I told him to leave. I knew the day would come, prayed that it would not but there is was. He moved out. In following phone conversations I made it clear as long as he his drinking he will n...	Rick3358	8	539	Oct 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Depressed and feeling hopeless (Preview) I am so depressed today I just want to go to sleep and wake up to a new life. My AH has been in rehab since early August and is doing very well. He came home last weekend because he had done his step 5 and they start integrating slowly back into the outside world after that stage. We were both extremely anxious...	Kismet	14	554	Oct 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Here I am.... (Preview) I am new to the forum but not new to my codependent way. For several years I went to therapy and I actually believed I was improving. However, I am back at square one. When my husband and I started dating the red flags were all over the place, but I chose to ignore them. I ignored them because he and I had be...	unsure2012	7	604	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	New to this (Preview) I found out 45 days ago that my wife of 21 years is an alcoholic. I always suspected there was a problem going on but couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was a binge drinker, mostly on weekends, who just didn't know when enough was enough. I would try to get her to leave parties when she was drunk but nothi...	Alan66	11	498	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Use it or lose it (Preview) Hi, I first joined alanon ten years ago and it helped me tremendously in some ways, well, in the ways that I applied the program. Like many first time alanoners, I mostly came to whine and complain about my A and hope to get some tips on how to deal with a hopeless A. Well, I did get that in the casual conver...	ForeverAlanon	10	557	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Ready Set...Go!! (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana `O MIP...Good morning MIP Family...The day has started her on Moku Keawe...The Big Island of Hawaii...much later than many of you and then it's here. Puppers have been walked and the Pinch let out so she can get in her pool. My laughs start with them. The wild birds have been fe...	Jerry F	5	407	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Been Dreading It & Today Was The Day (Preview) Got a call from my AH's boss today @ 4pm. She said that he had failed an alcohol test. They had asked him to have someone pick him up from work but he drove off so the bank attorney's said they had to notify the police. She called me, not knowing that we have been separated for 2 months now, to see if he had mad...	WornOutMrsFixIt	11	632	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.