Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bryteyes · bryteyes

Im not sure whats right or wrong or how to help.

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

I have been living with a functioning alcoholic for nearly a year now. I didn't realise at first that he was an alcoholic. Surprisingly. I've never existed near anyone who drank heavily or frequently. When we first got together it was a case of 8 pints a night, same on a Saturday and Sunday afterno...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Boy, this day got off to a terrible start. Went downstairs this morning to discover a huge puddle of dog pee in the living room, on my son's toybox. Cleaned that up. Then had a fight with my AH, in which he called me a name he has never, ever called me before, and which upset me more than anything else he ha...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So far this week I have been feeling pretty good about the wife and her alcohol use. It appeared this week she had not had anything to drink. Had a HUGE setback this morning. As she was leaving for work I heard her put something in the trash can outside. I immediately thought "wonder if that is al...

ember127 · ember127

My father has been an alcoholic for my whole life and then some. He was a mean drunk for the most of my childhood and then his anger got better after I became an adult but his drinking didn't. He refuses to get help and tells us all that he drinks and we need to adapt to that. He still gets angry sometimes and no...

Honeybee52000 · Honeybee52000

Hello fellow Recovery friends! I am putting together a basket for an Al-Anon function... the theme: looking for a Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store. The problem: I cannot find the reading in our literature! AGH! We use this phrase all the time in meetings, and I cant find the reading (which I know ex...

EpiBound · EpiBound

Every once in a while I like to find the exact source of things. I first read the phrase "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" in early 1993. Since then I often hear it quoted, and a web search for the phrase shows how much of a commonplace it's become. But no one gives exact credit, an...

KateEN · KateEN

Does anyone have recommendations on al-anon literature? I am reading "How al-anon works" and have found it very helpful. I'd love some advice on where to go from here. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so anything geared towards this is especially helpful. Also, how did everyone find their...

Oksie · Oksie

HI all Not sure how many people are here who remember me. I went overseas for a while and didnt' get to computers or MIP. But I am back from my holiday. Things went quite well. My husband and I had a lovely holiday together, with the addict only coming out to visit when we went to Amsterdam (he is a pot addic...

Jozie · Jozie

Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! I tell you I have been Fighting & Biting & Kicking My Way these last Couple Weeks! But I'm Nearin the Finish LIne, and I have to say, I will Feel a Least I Little Relief when it lands! I have been doing my best to stay IN the "Me &...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

For the past year or so my sponsor have been dealing with her own issues, divorce and all the fallout from that, I've felt like the roles are reversed. Anyway, I've been thinking I needed a new sponsor. Yesterday, at a meeting I was impressed by a members comment during the meeting, she attends regula...

chinup · chinup

my a b/f came over just for a few mins to eat a bite or maybe it was more like 30 mins or so,anyway i was ready for him to leave as soon as he got here cause he drags his beer around withhim like its a purse,and i could tell with his personality he had a good buzz going,he still talking like we are married and what o...

tortuga · tortuga

I am currently trying to start, (still ongoing!!) my personal inventory. And I noticed, with the hint of my sponsor, that I wasn't completely 'fearful' yet to do that. I hadn't noticed before. Actually I am full of fear to write down those truths on paper I already know or noticed about myself. My spon...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am so torn. This weekend was so emotionally confusing and draining. With my soon to be ex (yes, I have made up my mind) being so nasty ans saying such hurtful things, I wonder if I am making a mole hill out of a mountain or the other way around??? He wants to see his daughter this weekend. I want my daught...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

As AH and I are currently seperated and I am trying to figure out if I want to stay married to him, I have had to do a lot of soul searching. When I tell him my hesitations (all the years of lying, hiding, verbal abuse, etc.) he keeps coming back at me with "well if you can't forgive me then that's your pr...

Samantha87 · Samantha87

hey all! :) I was referred to join an Alanon group to learn how to cope with the (drug) addiction of my mother. I've been trying to muster up the confidence to walk into a meeting but for some reason I am finding that harder to do than I thought. I don't want to do it alone, I suppose. I thought randomly, maybe...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've been in a "mood" for about half a week. I've been irritable, nit-picky and my favorite line "I can't stand to be around myself". Not in a beat myself up way, but I am trying to be more self aware. I haven't been feeling this way in awhile and I have the ability to either figure i...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Searching for myself again. Where have I gone and What happened to all my morals and plans for my life and how do I get that back. I have a sponcer she says to keep going to meetings that is how I will learn to find myself again. I know its part of codependence I lost all that. Only 7 years ago I went to school for...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told...

chinup · chinup

im still haveing issues with saying no to my ab/f,when it comes to him wanting to stay all nite with me when i really dont want him to,saying no to him when he wants sex when ive changed my way of thinking of all of it that his world isnt my world mine has changed alot that i dont want to do nothing thats gonna go...

Pushka · Pushka

We are working step 10 and while I am sifting through step 4 at the moment, step 10 has actually given me a new perspective in growth. I am dealing with some cycles going on at the moment. I know I am growing as situations that would baffle me and leave me spinning are now starting to untangle and I can see c...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Tonight, I received a text message from the alcoholic. 'I need help'.....I phoned and he began to cry. Saying he cant do this anymore and he hates the way he is. He asked me to come over as he needed someone to talk to. I said 'OK, but I h...

tortuga · tortuga

This week was full of it... these moments used to make me sad and keep me low for days and days. Now that I decided to take EVERY crisis or challenge as an opportunity to change, or become more aware of things, here I got spoiled this week: I invited my ABF along to an official event I had to go for work. First I...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

We live in a small subdivision of about 2000, and it seems as if every is on those roxicodone pills. I hate them , I hate them. Today we had a lady who has no eletricity, has small children, someone gave her the money to pay it and she bought drugs that she shoots in her arms, and she is over here crying to my A ab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Give God what is right,& not what is left! If God brings you to it--He will bring you through it! You know you have faith by what you do, not what you say! Words to live by, I guess! For whatever it is worth! More quotes to come--I hope you can handle them? Kathleen

Jerry F · Jerry F

(I shared this on the other board and at my morning AA meeting and appreciate any feedback from the entire family) That was the response from my sponsor this morning as I spoke about the 7th stop yesterday by the police which shouldn't have been a stop but was. My sponsor is a native cultural recovering...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Well the good news is I made it through the weekend! I must admit that it was not without some headaches on my part. Friday night the wife got home from work and opened a bottle of wine. She asked me prior to doing it if it was ok if she had some wine. I was very proud of myself when I simply replied it was up t...

chinup · chinup

its me silent ,i lost my password so i had to get another one,so it came back as chinup instead of silent this time dunno y,ive been reading posts here and thinking to myself why why why do i keep going back into it,even though he is trying so hard to stop his drinking by slowing down ,its never he will never g...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My STBXAH's actions this past week have caused me to lose my serenity. I signed over our home of 25 years to him a week ago Friday in order to be released from the mortgage as a part of our divorce settlement and our court settlement with the mortgage company. On Monday, my divorce lawyer informed me that h...

dragonflys · dragonflys

He has continued through the entire weekend. Some of the things he said really hit me to the core. Now I am wondering if the whole, "no phone calls, only text or email" is working for me??? I cant forget what he said, its there in black and white. The phone conversation is fuzzy, I cant re...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

As I pondered with heavy concern my son's upcoming major back surgery (where the Dr.s have to enter him from both the stomach and the back) my son noticed the toll it was taking on me and simply said, "Mom, the big guy in the sky already has it handled, let's not sweat the small stuff." I was once...

denro · denro

Tomorrow, Monday my ex investment investment partner has a financial promise to keep. It's not even a huge amount of money in relation to the whole of our past dealings and what I am owed, however I am really dealing with that he will lie one more time. He has a three to five year history of breaking his wor...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks

rellik · rellik

I finally asked/told her to move out. She has no place to go she told me. She moved into our spare bedroom. I keep loosing and gaining my resolve. I go from crap i dont want her to leave to i gotta do this for me. I get home from work and i can smell her perfume and it kills me. Every essance of her still lingers he...

oliveoyl · oliveoyl

Hi Everyone! I was told this group would be a good thing for me, even though it relates to narcotics more-so than alcohol. An addiction is an addiction, I suppose. Might be long-winded, but here goes: I've been together with my boyfriend for a year now. We knew eachother all through grade school and rec...

Overcome · Overcome

Step Two was a very important step for me and a building block for the other steps that follow. When I first started Al-anon 21 years ago, this step wasn't too difficult for me, because I had such a strong belief in God. Lately however I have had to rework this step and "come to believe" all over...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but we had a death in the family and that has taken a lot of time to deal with. Anyway...thanks to those who joined me in this quest to support each other's efforts to take care of ourselves. Physical: I spent 10 minutes putting on makeup for the funeral, which I usally don...

skmz · skmz

Hi, its so amazing that this board exisits and how helpful everyone is here. I could really use some help right now. I have been/was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years with my AGF. I always knew she was an addict. I saw it from very begnining. I even started going to ALANON for a period of time last year, which...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Thank God for al anon, this message board and all that I have learned. If not for those things I would be in the loony bin right now. Wanted to give you an example of the mentality that I am dealing with. As you probably remember, my AH lost his job on Wednesday. I have not spoken to him since he called me the...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

OK, I'm in one of my moods, LOL! I'm tired of being the one who does everything around here. Now, don't get me wrong; my son and AH will do things but only when I ask and I feel like I've got 2 teenaged boys here instead of ONE! So, in honor of the title of the thread and in honor of this saying: YOU CAN'T GO TO TH...

ccl7445 · ccl7445

I feel lie giving up. Every day is anotherday to cry and get hurt. I cant help him. I just dont get it. I care so much but he chooses to drink. He threatens to kick me out every other night when he is drinking he starts pulling out guns, he tellls me im fat ugly i have streach marks I have a ugly hair cut. he can pic...

Kate123 · Kate123

Just asking because it's becoming more of a possibility that I may end up having to do that. But I'm not totally ready to throw in the towel just yet. Honestly, it would be an easier decison to make and stick with if he drank most every day. Instead he's a bing drinker and can go as long as 8 days in between...

Embry · Embry

My husband whom I love to death was three years sober oct 11th. We had met a few years before we started dating though our families. Our families are full of alcoholics and none of them want to change that. I rarely drink like maybe once a year because I don't tolerate it well and don't feel the need to. We me...

SendMeAngels · SendMeAngels

Hi everyone! This is my first post on the boards, and it's about something that's been bothering me for a long time. I am hoping that someone who has had a similar life can give me some advice, or at the very least some reassurance that I'm not the only one feeling like this. To begin, I am 25, and my father is...

sweets · sweets

My boyfriend has been sober for about 5 months now. How do I react and not be so needy or pushy? I am new to this, I was referred to Alonon. I want to know as much as I can so I do not push him away. He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. Can someone please give me some advice? I would appreciate an...

dragonflys · dragonflys

Havent spoken to my AH in about 2 weeks. He calls this morning and verbally vomits all over me. Should never have answered the phone. I started to wonder why he felt it was ok to talk to me that way, to put me down, blame me for everything, call me names, accuse me of cheating.... When we hung up the phone....

Itzli · Itzli

Needless to say, I'm a little bit freaked out for even starting to reach out and look for help in my situation. Really, I don't want to believe I'm in a situation to begin with, so this is really hard. I just run out of options and pretending that it doesn't exist isn't helping. So, here I am. My husband is...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am a country music lover!!! Anyone watching Nashville!! :) Little Miss by Sugarland (I think I posted it on another thread but here are the lyrics) Little miss done on love Little miss, I give up Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore Little miss checkered dress Little miss, o...

abbyal · abbyal

If there is one thing I have learned in my years in this program is that I cannot help anyone with a problem if I myself have not experienced what they are dealing with , and my solution is to find someone in program who has been there done that and direct them to the person asking for help . I have the privele...

Overcome · Overcome

I lived with the active disease of alcoholism in my past, I don't today. However, I do live with the active disease of my mother's Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful to Al-anon for having been in this program, because it has taught me how to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am trying to get my 20...

Inuyami · Inuyami

HELP!!! These last couple nights have been so hard and I feel like I'm right back where I started when I first left my AH on labor day.Thursday I met up with my AH at the mall to do some clothes shopping. I had him meet me there so we could talk... but very little talking was actually done. He returned some...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

What a relief! How stupid I am to think that you would be fired as a financial consultant when you test 3x over the legal limit to drive during business hours. Thank God my AH called to set the record straight.

I was prepared for total devastation or even rage at me but not delusion. When...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

One thing that I always had a hard time doing was asking for help. My alcoholic father raised me as a single parent so there was never a lot of help to rely on. Financially and emotionally, the alcoholic struggled day to day. We werent a wealthy family, a connected family or even a healthy cohesive family...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

This passed summer, my AH and I were separated for the fourth time (due to cheating, lying, stealing, drug use). I was working 2,000 miles away and even though I was not looking for another relationship, I ended up falling head over heals for someone. I didn't let that relationship evolve due to the fac...

Chaya · Chaya

Had a great women's meeting this morning. Happy to have a newcomer and share on the topic of fellowship. Today I am grateful for all the new women I have met in this program. I love all my sisters. Chaya

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say that it does get better for those of you who are in the middle of the mess! My friend is doing much better daily. She is doing for herself things that she couldn't do before. She prays & has faith. I am so proud of her. She can sometimes be an inspiration to me. Her values have changed &...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It seems like every time I try to do the right thing it always comes out wrong???????????????? I am so frustrated w/ myself it seems like it never ends. I have been on my AH for days. I think I know why--I have been having trouble w/ my weight(outside issue) but it kills me when my weight starts to go up &...

DavidG · DavidG

The 'no cross-talk rule' has been a recent thing in 12 steps groups. How does this apply to Alanon- any ideas? In my home group, if we have a new member we have a 'Step 1 meeting'. This is where everyone share how and why they came to Alanon. Sometimes if asked for members offer opinions but not advice- '...

Overcome · Overcome

In our Courage to Change (C2C) daily mediation book it says, "The Al-anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately." I thought that this was so...

kemmaw · kemmaw

Well...there you go. He left tonight... He came home drunk....feel asleep on the couch for an hour. He had a go at me and the kids...slammed my hand in a draw. I asked him not to take it out on the kids. He told me not to start on him and he left.... I am left crying and a bit bemused... I have to work at 8...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	plz help im new. not sure how to write on here. im dealing with a recovery alcoholic who is verbally abusive. (Preview) Im not sure whats right or wrong or how to help.	bryteyes	9	666	Oct 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Hi and help and advice please (Preview) I have been living with a functioning alcoholic for nearly a year now. I didn't realise at first that he was an alcoholic. Surprisingly. I've never existed near anyone who drank heavily or frequently. When we first got together it was a case of 8 pints a night, same on a Saturday and Sunday afterno...	Cherubhmm	9	620	Oct 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Saving a Rotten, Rotten Day (Preview) Boy, this day got off to a terrible start. Went downstairs this morning to discover a huge puddle of dog pee in the living room, on my son's toybox. Cleaned that up. Then had a fight with my AH, in which he called me a name he has never, ever called me before, and which upset me more than anything else he ha...	stephaniej	6	500	Oct 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Crushed this morning, barely holding it together. (Preview) So far this week I have been feeling pretty good about the wife and her alcohol use. It appeared this week she had not had anything to drink. Had a HUGE setback this morning. As she was leaving for work I heard her put something in the trash can outside. I immediately thought "wonder if that is al...	hdftby100	16	777	Oct 19, 2012 by wp
	NEED ADVICE (Preview) My father has been an alcoholic for my whole life and then some. He was a mean drunk for the most of my childhood and then his anger got better after I became an adult but his drinking didn't. He refuses to get help and tells us all that he drinks and we need to adapt to that. He still gets angry sometimes and no...	ember127	6	754	Oct 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store loaf of bread hardware tools readings literature (Preview) Hello fellow Recovery friends! I am putting together a basket for an Al-Anon function... the theme: looking for a Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store. The problem: I cannot find the reading in our literature! AGH! We use this phrase all the time in meetings, and I cant find the reading (which I know ex...	Honeybee52000	1	6545	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	Hardware Store 100% Whole Wheat hardware store for a loaf of bread Courage to Change (Preview) Every once in a while I like to find the exact source of things. I first read the phrase "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" in early 1993. Since then I often hear it quoted, and a web search for the phrase shows how much of a commonplace it's become. But no one gives exact credit, an...	EpiBound	5	3263	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	Still learning.... Literature & Sponsor Sponsor literature (Preview) Does anyone have recommendations on al-anon literature? I am reading "How al-anon works" and have found it very helpful. I'd love some advice on where to go from here. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so anything geared towards this is especially helpful. Also, how did everyone find their...	KateEN	5	5300	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	I'm back (Preview) HI all Not sure how many people are here who remember me. I went overseas for a while and didnt' get to computers or MIP. But I am back from my holiday. Things went quite well. My husband and I had a lovely holiday together, with the addict only coming out to visit when we went to Amsterdam (he is a pot addic...	Oksie	6	464	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! (Preview) Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! I tell you I have been Fighting & Biting & Kicking My Way these last Couple Weeks! But I'm Nearin the Finish LIne, and I have to say, I will Feel a Least I Little Relief when it lands! I have been doing my best to stay IN the "Me &...	Jozie	1	522	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	Getting a new sponsor (Preview) For the past year or so my sponsor have been dealing with her own issues, divorce and all the fallout from that, I've felt like the roles are reversed. Anyway, I've been thinking I needed a new sponsor. Yesterday, at a meeting I was impressed by a members comment during the meeting, she attends regula...	Highlyfavored	3	367	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	i invited my a b/f over to eat (Preview) my a b/f came over just for a few mins to eat a bite or maybe it was more like 30 mins or so,anyway i was ready for him to leave as soon as he got here cause he drags his beer around withhim like its a purse,and i could tell with his personality he had a good buzz going,he still talking like we are married and what o...	chinup	4	736	Oct 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	ESH needed on detachment, and letting go of ones own shortcomings! (Preview) I am currently trying to start, (still ongoing!!) my personal inventory. And I noticed, with the hint of my sponsor, that I wasn't completely 'fearful' yet to do that. I hadn't noticed before. Actually I am full of fear to write down those truths on paper I already know or noticed about myself. My spon...	tortuga	4	641	Oct 17, 2012 by Kismet
	Molehill out of a mountain or mountain out of a molehill??? (Preview) I am so torn. This weekend was so emotionally confusing and draining. With my soon to be ex (yes, I have made up my mind) being so nasty ans saying such hurtful things, I wonder if I am making a mole hill out of a mountain or the other way around??? He wants to see his daughter this weekend. I want my daught...	dragonflys	2	686	Oct 17, 2012 by tiredtonite
	What Forgiveness Doesn't Mean (Preview) As AH and I are currently seperated and I am trying to figure out if I want to stay married to him, I have had to do a lot of soul searching. When I tell him my hesitations (all the years of lying, hiding, verbal abuse, etc.) he keeps coming back at me with "well if you can't forgive me then that's your pr...	TrudyS85	13	1738	Oct 17, 2012 by TrudyS85
	New here & would like some info! :) (Preview) hey all! :) I was referred to join an Alanon group to learn how to cope with the (drug) addiction of my mother. I've been trying to muster up the confidence to walk into a meeting but for some reason I am finding that harder to do than I thought. I don't want to do it alone, I suppose. I thought randomly, maybe...	Samantha87	4	479	Oct 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	Amazing what quiet will do (Preview) I've been in a "mood" for about half a week. I've been irritable, nit-picky and my favorite line "I can't stand to be around myself". Not in a beat myself up way, but I am trying to be more self aware. I haven't been feeling this way in awhile and I have the ability to either figure i...	AStrongerMe	5	428	Oct 17, 2012 by LulaMay
	Searching (Preview) Searching for myself again. Where have I gone and What happened to all my morals and plans for my life and how do I get that back. I have a sponcer she says to keep going to meetings that is how I will learn to find myself again. I know its part of codependence I lost all that. Only 7 years ago I went to school for...	peacewithin	4	469	Oct 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A good night (Preview) So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told...	hdftby100	3	343	Oct 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	hard to say no (Preview) im still haveing issues with saying no to my ab/f,when it comes to him wanting to stay all nite with me when i really dont want him to,saying no to him when he wants sex when ive changed my way of thinking of all of it that his world isnt my world mine has changed alot that i dont want to do nothing thats gonna go...	chinup	6	538	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Nothing changes .. nothing changes .. in gratitude (Preview) We are working step 10 and while I am sifting through step 4 at the moment, step 10 has actually given me a new perspective in growth. I am dealing with some cycles going on at the moment. I know I am growing as situations that would baffle me and leave me spinning are now starting to untangle and I can see c...	Pushka	5	522	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	The alcoholic had a pity party....times like this I feel alone (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Tonight, I received a text message from the alcoholic. 'I need help'.....I phoned and he began to cry. Saying he cant do this anymore and he hates the way he is. He asked me to come over as he needed someone to talk to. I said 'OK, but I h...	slogan_jim	5	1041	Oct 16, 2012 by slogan_jim
	a week full of opportunities to change... (Preview) This week was full of it... these moments used to make me sad and keep me low for days and days. Now that I decided to take EVERY crisis or challenge as an opportunity to change, or become more aware of things, here I got spoiled this week: I invited my ABF along to an official event I had to go for work. First I...	tortuga	2	462	Oct 16, 2012 by tortuga
	I did it again, I reacted! (Preview) We live in a small subdivision of about 2000, and it seems as if every is on those roxicodone pills. I hate them , I hate them. Today we had a lady who has no eletricity, has small children, someone gave her the money to pay it and she bought drugs that she shoots in her arms, and she is over here crying to my A ab...	sisdragonfly1957	4	587	Oct 16, 2012 by sisdragonfly1957
	hope I don't step on someone's toes, ouch! (Preview) Give God what is right,& not what is left! If God brings you to it--He will bring you through it! You know you have faith by what you do, not what you say! Words to live by, I guess! For whatever it is worth! More quotes to come--I hope you can handle them? Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	402	Oct 16, 2012 by Katy
	"Get a different Truck" (Preview) (I shared this on the other board and at my morning AA meeting and appreciate any feedback from the entire family) That was the response from my sponsor this morning as I spoke about the 7th stop yesterday by the police which shouldn't have been a stop but was. My sponsor is a native cultural recovering...	Jerry F	9	982	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Questions my thought process (Preview) Well the good news is I made it through the weekend! I must admit that it was not without some headaches on my part. Friday night the wife got home from work and opened a bottle of wine. She asked me prior to doing it if it was ok if she had some wine. I was very proud of myself when I simply replied it was up t...	hdftby100	7	515	Oct 16, 2012 by pinkchip
	im back (Preview) its me silent ,i lost my password so i had to get another one,so it came back as chinup instead of silent this time dunno y,ive been reading posts here and thinking to myself why why why do i keep going back into it,even though he is trying so hard to stop his drinking by slowing down ,its never he will never g...	chinup	4	359	Oct 16, 2012 by chinup
	Fair is Fair? (Preview) My STBXAH's actions this past week have caused me to lose my serenity. I signed over our home of 25 years to him a week ago Friday in order to be released from the mortgage as a part of our divorce settlement and our court settlement with the mortgage company. On Monday, my divorce lawyer informed me that h...	Green Eyes	8	599	Oct 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	and it continues and continues and continues (Preview) He has continued through the entire weekend. Some of the things he said really hit me to the core. Now I am wondering if the whole, "no phone calls, only text or email" is working for me??? I cant forget what he said, its there in black and white. The phone conversation is fuzzy, I cant re...	dragonflys	7	604	Oct 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	HP is GOOD!! (Preview) As I pondered with heavy concern my son's upcoming major back surgery (where the Dr.s have to enter him from both the stomach and the back) my son noticed the toll it was taking on me and simply said, "Mom, the big guy in the sky already has it handled, let's not sweat the small stuff." I was once...	Peggy7	6	340	Oct 15, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Facing a possible let down on Monday (Preview) Tomorrow, Monday my ex investment investment partner has a financial promise to keep. It's not even a huge amount of money in relation to the whole of our past dealings and what I am owed, however I am really dealing with that he will lie one more time. He has a three to five year history of breaking his wor...	denro	9	556	Oct 15, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	226	Oct 15, 2012 by shimo
	told her to move out (Preview) I finally asked/told her to move out. She has no place to go she told me. She moved into our spare bedroom. I keep loosing and gaining my resolve. I go from crap i dont want her to leave to i gotta do this for me. I get home from work and i can smell her perfume and it kills me. Every essance of her still lingers he...	rellik	11	633	Oct 15, 2012 by hdftby100
	At a crossroads about boyfriend's drug use (I'm a newbie!) (Preview) Hi Everyone! I was told this group would be a good thing for me, even though it relates to narcotics more-so than alcohol. An addiction is an addiction, I suppose. Might be long-winded, but here goes: I've been together with my boyfriend for a year now. We knew eachother all through grade school and rec...	oliveoyl	6	485	Oct 15, 2012 by hotrod
	STEP TWO - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (Preview) Step Two was a very important step for me and a building block for the other steps that follow. When I first started Al-anon 21 years ago, this step wasn't too difficult for me, because I had such a strong belief in God. Lately however I have had to rework this step and "come to believe" all over...	Overcome	8	897	Oct 15, 2012 by Overcome
	Taking Care of Me...day 2 (Preview) Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but we had a death in the family and that has taken a lot of time to deal with. Anyway...thanks to those who joined me in this quest to support each other's efforts to take care of ourselves. Physical: I spent 10 minutes putting on makeup for the funeral, which I usally don...	ForeverAlanon	3	406	Oct 15, 2012 by tortuga
	new to this program and need some insight please (Preview) Hi, its so amazing that this board exisits and how helpful everyone is here. I could really use some help right now. I have been/was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years with my AGF. I always knew she was an addict. I saw it from very begnining. I even started going to ALANON for a period of time last year, which...	skmz	4	497	Oct 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	An Alcoholic's Mentality in a Crisis (Preview) Thank God for al anon, this message board and all that I have learned. If not for those things I would be in the loony bin right now. Wanted to give you an example of the mentality that I am dealing with. As you probably remember, my AH lost his job on Wednesday. I have not spoken to him since he called me the...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	1020	Oct 15, 2012 by Pushka
	The Vent Thread! (Preview) OK, I'm in one of my moods, LOL! I'm tired of being the one who does everything around here. Now, don't get me wrong; my son and AH will do things but only when I ask and I feel like I've got 2 teenaged boys here instead of ONE! So, in honor of the title of the thread and in honor of this saying: YOU CAN'T GO TO TH...	ilovedogs	9	553	Oct 15, 2012 by denro
	How Can I handel MY boyfriends alcholism??????? (Preview) I feel lie giving up. Every day is anotherday to cry and get hurt. I cant help him. I just dont get it. I care so much but he chooses to drink. He threatens to kick me out every other night when he is drinking he starts pulling out guns, he tellls me im fat ugly i have streach marks I have a ugly hair cut. he can pic...	ccl7445	11	560	Oct 15, 2012 by Kate123
	Need suggestions on how I would force my Alcoholic to move out of our home if it comes to that (I own it)?? (Preview) Just asking because it's becoming more of a possibility that I may end up having to do that. But I'm not totally ready to throw in the towel just yet. Honestly, it would be an easier decison to make and stick with if he drank most every day. Instead he's a bing drinker and can go as long as 8 days in between...	Kate123	7	585	Oct 15, 2012 by Kate123
	He's sober 3 years and we don't know how to deal with it. (Preview) My husband whom I love to death was three years sober oct 11th. We had met a few years before we started dating though our families. Our families are full of alcoholics and none of them want to change that. I rarely drink like maybe once a year because I don't tolerate it well and don't feel the need to. We me...	Embry	6	560	Oct 14, 2012 by Embry
	Trouble With Intimacy (Preview) Hi everyone! This is my first post on the boards, and it's about something that's been bothering me for a long time. I am hoping that someone who has had a similar life can give me some advice, or at the very least some reassurance that I'm not the only one feeling like this. To begin, I am 25, and my father is...	SendMeAngels	3	518	Oct 14, 2012 by SendMeAngels
	dating a newly sober person (Preview) My boyfriend has been sober for about 5 months now. How do I react and not be so needy or pushy? I am new to this, I was referred to Alonon. I want to know as much as I can so I do not push him away. He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. Can someone please give me some advice? I would appreciate an...	sweets	15	4738	Oct 14, 2012 by Maiasaura
	Verbal vomit all over me (Preview) Havent spoken to my AH in about 2 weeks. He calls this morning and verbally vomits all over me. Should never have answered the phone. I started to wonder why he felt it was ok to talk to me that way, to put me down, blame me for everything, call me names, accuse me of cheating.... When we hung up the phone....	dragonflys	5	466	Oct 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Another newbie.. (Preview) Needless to say, I'm a little bit freaked out for even starting to reach out and look for help in my situation. Really, I don't want to believe I'm in a situation to begin with, so this is really hard. I just run out of options and pretending that it doesn't exist isn't helping. So, here I am. My husband is...	Itzli	20	710	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	My Theme Song (Preview) I am a country music lover!!! Anyone watching Nashville!! :) Little Miss by Sugarland (I think I posted it on another thread but here are the lyrics) Little miss done on love Little miss, I give up Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore Little miss checkered dress Little miss, o...	dragonflys	2	306	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	Feed back needed . (Preview) If there is one thing I have learned in my years in this program is that I cannot help anyone with a problem if I myself have not experienced what they are dealing with , and my solution is to find someone in program who has been there done that and direct them to the person asking for help . I have the privele...	abbyal	5	427	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	Practicing these principles in all our affairs (Preview) I lived with the active disease of alcoholism in my past, I don't today. However, I do live with the active disease of my mother's Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful to Al-anon for having been in this program, because it has taught me how to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am trying to get my 20...	Overcome	4	334	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	beating myself up! (Preview) HELP!!! These last couple nights have been so hard and I feel like I'm right back where I started when I first left my AH on labor day.Thursday I met up with my AH at the mall to do some clothes shopping. I had him meet me there so we could talk... but very little talking was actually done. He returned some...	Inuyami	2	434	Oct 14, 2012 by Mattie
	He Wasn't Fired, He Resigned (Preview) What a relief! How stupid I am to think that you would be fired as a financial consultant when you test 3x over the legal limit to drive during business hours. Thank God my AH called to set the record straight. I was prepared for total devastation or even rage at me but not delusion. When...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	446	Oct 14, 2012 by callmemara
	Michael Jordan never won without Scottie Pippen (share) (Preview) One thing that I always had a hard time doing was asking for help. My alcoholic father raised me as a single parent so there was never a lot of help to rely on. Financially and emotionally, the alcoholic struggled day to day. We werent a wealthy family, a connected family or even a healthy cohesive family...	slogan_jim	4	407	Oct 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Pending choices..... (Preview) This passed summer, my AH and I were separated for the fourth time (due to cheating, lying, stealing, drug use). I was working 2,000 miles away and even though I was not looking for another relationship, I ended up falling head over heals for someone. I didn't let that relationship evolve due to the fac...	RoseODAT	3	518	Oct 13, 2012 by Bettina
	Great meeting (Preview) Had a great women's meeting this morning. Happy to have a newcomer and share on the topic of fellowship. Today I am grateful for all the new women I have met in this program. I love all my sisters. Chaya	Chaya	2	248	Oct 13, 2012 by hotrod
	it does get better for sure for sure! (Preview) Just want to say that it does get better for those of you who are in the middle of the mess! My friend is doing much better daily. She is doing for herself things that she couldn't do before. She prays & has faith. I am so proud of her. She can sometimes be an inspiration to me. Her values have changed &...	Hoot Nanny	2	384	Oct 13, 2012 by DavidG
	what have I done wrong? (Preview) It seems like every time I try to do the right thing it always comes out wrong???????????????? I am so frustrated w/ myself it seems like it never ends. I have been on my AH for days. I think I know why--I have been having trouble w/ my weight(outside issue) but it kills me when my weight starts to go up &...	Hoot Nanny	5	507	Oct 13, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	No cross-talk in Alanon...? (Preview) The 'no cross-talk rule' has been a recent thing in 12 steps groups. How does this apply to Alanon- any ideas? In my home group, if we have a new member we have a 'Step 1 meeting'. This is where everyone share how and why they came to Alanon. Sometimes if asked for members offer opinions but not advice- '...	DavidG	8	2457	Oct 13, 2012 by DavidG
	ANGER and how I deal with it today. (Preview) In our Courage to Change (C2C) daily mediation book it says, "The Al-anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately." I thought that this was so...	Overcome	3	525	Oct 13, 2012 by GailMichelle
	He left tonight... (Preview) Well...there you go. He left tonight... He came home drunk....feel asleep on the couch for an hour. He had a go at me and the kids...slammed my hand in a draw. I asked him not to take it out on the kids. He told me not to start on him and he left.... I am left crying and a bit bemused... I have to work at 8...	kemmaw	4	424	Oct 13, 2012 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.