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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> keeping my focus
Post Info TOPIC: keeping my focus
Jackie11


~*Service Worker*~

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keeping my focus
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Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop.

I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish.

Except that would be kind of like taking his inventory, which I'm not supposed to do.

Then there are the reminders that I live with this disease, like last night discussing options for a trip and how because I didn't listen we didn't already have a trip booked. I realized that this was not worth reacting to, or even responding. So I let it go.

When things are going well, and all this is happening, it's so easy for me to lose my focus. I'm trying so hard to not get too comfortable. I know that my progress depends on me continuing to move forward, continuing to work the steps.

I just feel like I'm in such a weird limbo, and I know that clarity will come as I keep the focus on me. It's just really difficult not to try and analyze everything and create an unrealistic expectation. One day at a time biggrin

Thank you for letting me share. Happy Friday!!!

 



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Debilyn


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I sure get where you are! I am a real analitical person too. Which is totally impossible to use this "skill" with an A becuzzzzzzzz we cannot rationalize insanity!

Told myself that a lot.

I think, I would get me some AA pamphlets. When he says it again I would quietly slap one down in front of him and leave the room. Then later kiss him big time and tell him I love him.

When he says it again, do that again.....and that is all. haha Maybe he will associate kissing with AA!!!!

I am serious. Sometimes lightening up, really keeps things i perspective.

My A hated to go anywhere becuz he had to know where, how, when he could drink or get his alcohol....

If my A tried to put blame on me for something not being done, i would say, "well honey I didn't know your arms were broken!"

After I learned to lighten up things went so much better. The disease did not want to play anymore.

him: Babe I am out of shampoo, me: honey do you need directions to the store??? lol NOW I had to pick the times that it would be ok. lol

hugs! you are doing fine, debilyn



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Jackie11


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LOL I love the idea of the AA pamphlets. I'm definitely going to use that one. As far as shampoo, he buys his stuff I buy mine, but that totally made me laugh.

Thank you for the ESH!! Have a wonderful weekend!!



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