Those don't sound like abnormal thoughts to me.  They sound like very reasonable reactions to a difficult situation.  It's when we think that alcoholism is standard and healthy and that alcoholic decisions are reasonable that we have lost perspective.

It's not that you should or shouldn't bring any issues up to him -- it's that it will make no difference except to make you frustrated and angry.  If they were sane people who could see that what they're doing is harmful, they wouldn't be alcoholics in the first place.  If bringing the problem up to them changed anything, we'd have cured all the alcoholics in the world by now.  Because I'm sure everyone on these boards has explained the problems to their alcoholic many, many times.  And sadly, it never changed anything.  If it did, it would have worked by now.  So we learn ways to achieve serenity and a better life without waiting for the alcoholic to see the light and change.  That doesn't mean we have to compromise on our happiness.  In fact the opposite.  We learn to value our happiness and serenity much more.

I hope you have a meeting?  It takes some time and energy to sort it all out but it is so worth it.

Really its all normal to feel this way? Im glad im not alone.

Hugs to you, that's not abnormal. My AH treated the DOG and my SON better than me. I think it comes down to the fact that we are their emotional intimate connection, we are their enablers/rescuers/etc and at some point we want them to be accountable for their actions. Dogs and kids don't really know and don't care, so the relationship with them is different, non-threatening, so to speak.

Honestly, I figured this out a long time ago because he was always nicer to the dog than to any human I've ever met. Well, dogs can't talk back(at least not in words, LOL), dogs don't outright judge you, dogs don't place expectations on you, and a dog will follow you to death's door whether you're living in a mansion or whether you're homeless. Anyway, once I put this in perspective I didn't care so much. I want my AH to have a relationship with his son, and I'm sure my Ah feels excluded from our lives as well. My son and I go to church and Bible study, but AH won't come along. Now, that's his choice but he still gets lonely and feels excluded. Also, my AH won't come to our son's tennis tournaments which can take us away all weekend long, but he will whine about how lonely he is and how we exclude him. Again, it is his choice to stay home as I've never purposely excluded him from anything. It's all part of the disease and can be maddening but when you put it into perspective of the fact that it's just the alcoholism talking, things are easier to accept.

Sending you lots of support tonight!

I was going to say babies don't talk, disagree judge, are not bossy or snoopy, do not question what he does, takes him for who he is A and all.

This is the goal. Just love them, don't let the disease get to you, it is only that, a disease. Love the person get mad at the disease but you can guess what that gets you. Its there, its always going to be there. period. But we an make our lives so much better if we never get into their stuff.

They have integrity too.

And no it is not fair, but he or she did not choose this awful ball and chain around their neck.

They need us to let them fall, not pick them up, not baby them, they are adults, well sorta. they are age they were in maturity when they began drinking. so if it was 15, they have the problem solving if any of a 15 year old and more.

If you think about it, a fifteen year old would not want to be around someone who they feel is picking on them either.

I never made fun of my students with their goth stuff, or skater stuff or whatever. It was who they were at that moment.

Our As just need us to love them. Al Anon teaches us skills how to do this.

sending you hugs, debilyn