The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told her that I was very concerned about her drinking. I said that I had started counselling and going to group meetings as well. I said that those were about me and for me, not her. I told her that if she wanted at any time to ome to a counselling session and wanted me to come as well I would be more than happy to do that, but that was up to her and I would not ask her to do that or bring it up. I told her that my group meetings were only for me and if she chose she needed to find her own way to deal with her drinking. She sat and cried but said nothing. She asked me afterwards how long I had been going to counselling and meetings and I told her a few weeks. She gave me a big hug and I said let's go make some dinner. We left and I said nothing more about it. I think I did well by telling her I am concerned about her drinking but that it was her problem to deal with, not mine.
One day at a time. I DEFINITELY will make sure to get to Al-Anon this week. Thanks to you all.
Funny how much more we are heard when we come from that place. Its so hard to do because of the pain we have to think through. What you did there is seriously hard work and it seems she heard you. Not a quick fix or magic pill - but you were heard. Hugs to you, very inspirational. I'm still working on getting to that place of compassion. It's definitely one of my weak areas.
