Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is really a time to call upon the spiritual part of my program and have faith, keep hopeful but I'm struggling with that this morning. I'm waiting for news from family and my former sponsor who are in the path of the storm. I found myself feeling resentful last night as I listened for updates on t...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

I don't post much so a little history. AH went to rehab last year, his drink of choice whiskey and drug of choice meth. He did good about 8 months. He's back to using and drinking beer. But slowly working his way back to whiskey. He sneaks other types of liquor that he thinks I don't notice, trying to get...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone I'm a new but have been reading the stories for about 2 weeks now and everyone is so nice with lots of love and support. I have been seeing a counselor for about 3 months and it has helped but she continues to ask that I attend Al-anon. I have been twice but can't seem to continue going. I gue...

Jerry F · Jerry F

at 7pounds 11 ounces and 20.5 inches tall he made his appearance at 6:01PM last evening. It was my granddaughters first child and our second great-grand child. We camped out side her door for over 12 hours as she did as instructed for over 24. I was concerned for her because she was so child like and d...

jwall · jwall

Hello! I am 18, freshmen in College, and still living at home. My mom is an alcoholic, and has been prior to when I was born. Shes been to rehab 4 times, most recently a couple months ago. She was sober for a month, and then began drinking again. Right now I dont have a car and she is my ride to and from school, a...

mehere80 · mehere80

Why do I say that I'm ok when people ask how I am? I don't feel ok. I feel depressed, damaged, injured, desperate. My husband is finally trying at our marriage and I can't for the life of me accept it. I can't let him in. I have this pain in my chest, and my heart beats so hard. I feel some deep, agonizing pai...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

My AH knows that I am not interested in sleeping with him when he is drunk however we have very differing views about what constitutes drunk. I think he starts acting like an idiot after 2-3 drinks, he thinks it comes a lot later. Problem is he is extremely amorous when he's drinking and my saying no alw...

jorjorjor · jorjorjor

hey all, thanks to al anon i'm seeing my role in my own misery and how I bum myself out. I notice it in little things, like how I tell stories that are about bad things happening, or how I focus on the negative aspects of my life. Bottom line, I'm not an alcoholic, and I don't want alcoholics to tell me story....

Jozie · Jozie

This Past Weekend, I had some Good & Some Bad, Lots of Happy, & A Little Sad! And I Can Honestly Say, it was the Most Balanced Weekend I have had in a while, when it came to Mind, Body & Spirit! I have Handed My Expectation back to HP, and I have Left My Assumptions at His Feet as well! And So Far So G...

MJseeksSerenity · MJseeksSerenity

I am new to Al-Anon. I spent 21 days with my ABF while he was in a rehab facility. I went to the facility every single day and sat in all the lectures with him and the meetings, and I also went to my own meetings to try to learn all I possibly could about this disease that has followed me around my entire life....

Cher S6 · Cher S6

I am new to this site. I am attending my first al non meeting tomorrow at 12. My brothers is the A in my life and is currently in detox...again and wants me to puck him up tomorrow. I'm so worn down, stressed and tired. I'm one of only two family members left that help him. I have a family of my own and the guilt i...

Wendy O · Wendy O

I am struggling with his continued selfishness even with him in recovery. He never considers my feelings, needs or wants. It is always what he wants. I need advice. Trying to work my program, but I am experiencing anger. I always thought his self absorbed personality was because he was activel...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Today I had a much-needed reminder of how far I've come in my program. I still struggle a lot in how I deal with my AH, and how I work my program in that relationship. But I also have a very, very dear friend dating back to 7th grade, who has struggled with alcoholism since high school. He has always been v...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Still trying to quit these 2 things. Finding all I want to do is smoke and drink coffee more than ever! Anyone have any advice on why things like this are so hard for adult children and codependents? This would be in the same category as problems with food, spending, distraction, etc.

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So, here's how the weekend went... We went camping with our grandson. The wife only drank one bottle of wine (half Friday night and the other half Saturday afternoon). I consider that a small victory. We have started to have some money issues due to the economy and a little reckless spending on her p...

NovSun · NovSun

Hello MIP Family, Just a quick update. The AH is 23 days sober today. This might be an actual record. He has not done the 90 meetings in 90 days thing as he previously so boldy announced, but he IS attending 4 times per week. And that is a HUGE improvement over the "I hate AA, I don't believe in God...

LulaMay · LulaMay

So I came close to a mental melt down between home and work this month. So I am trying to take care of myself. I treated myself to an overdue hair cut. I cut 13 inches off and donated it to locks of love. I colored my hair as well and feel phenomenal. I was so scared but once I was there....I could not believe ho...

Ness · Ness

Remembered today, & every day, with love. Ness xx

New Me · New Me

I'm new here and I haven't attented Al anon yet. I plan to, and reading these forums has encouraged me. I am currently separated and seriously considering divorce. My AH and I have been married 4 and a half years have a two year old who currently lives with me. My AH would go on weekly benders that last...

newdarsh · newdarsh

My sister is an alcholic. She calls me on the phone 4 to 8 times a day. Today, I couldn't take one more phone call of listening to her slurring words; I told her that I loved her very much, but not to call me until she was sober, and I hung up. I have not done this before because I feel so bad for her and her situati...

atheos · atheos

So, so many people in the world have a bitter, cynical "life sucks, get used to it" attitude... when I was at the point in my life where I was at risk of succumbing to the same belief, my fellow Al-Anon members loaned me their strength, optimism, and hope until I got my own back. For most of my lif...

souljoy · souljoy

Well it's gone from weird to weirder and today is the day he tells me I have never accepted him for his mental illness and that hurts him. Okayyyyyy never mind you are drinking everyday once again after 4 years of sobriety. Never mind you want me to bring in a third party in our relationship. Never mind you...

Overcome · Overcome

Since I've noticed several posts lately about this I thought I'd start one of my own, since I've been down both roads. I posted a reply about my journey through these two diseases on another thread about Alzheimer's. In this other thread on "my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's", I s...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

We are not in the path but we could possible feel the effects of her. My area/region could be getting as much as 50-100mm a rain & have wind gust up to 90 km/hour. So we will see how it plays out for school tmw. Hopefully it's not as bad they are warning! I will be praying for everyone who is in the path of Sa...

m0lissa · m0lissa

I have been married to an alcoholic for 26 years. We got married very young, and in the naivete of my youth I thought that he would 'grow out of it'. He is unbelievably self-centered, isolates himself from the family by drinking in his workshop or outbuilding, hides how much he drinks, lies as easy as bre...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi, everyone! I've a big grin on my face, and a Big "thank you" to my HP (God), my nephew gave me all but $300.00 of my money, I told him that was a gift and worry about paying that back. Thank you all for your support and possitive thoughts. I know it was a "God (HP)thing" I can't st...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have finally had some fun to let go of some of the anxiety I have been having. It seems like sometimes when I write or talk about stuff things get easier but other times I just feel worse. I am going to have to turn all this stuff over. My HP is in charge of most of what I am going through not just the doctor. I ju...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I finally dropped off the financial information to my lawyer. I am going through so many emotions, sadness, fear, relief. While I have not told my AH yet that I am ready to file (I will do that in the next few weeks) it is another step I am taking closer to divorce. After a great session with my therapist w...

AZR · AZR

Hi my husband is an alcoholic in denial. We've been married for 14 years. We have 2 girls and his 23 year old is now living with us. She hates his drinking and sees what it has done to me. I raised her and she just graduated college and now working on masters. It amazes me that he fails to see what a beautfiul fa...

Gailey · Gailey

and after about 2 years of taking care of her my family is showing signs of falling apart. It is 5 of us...4 girls and 1 boy. Mom has always lived with my brother. He is a non-drinking A that has not had a drink in many years. He thinks he is the dictator of all that goes on with regard to taking care of our mother...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Well, last week at this time I was much worse off than today... good news! The Al-Anon meeting I went to yesterday seems to be a little better fit than the first group I attended. Nothing per se bad about the first group but just seemed like a better fit for me. Still have to work into it though. I am stil...

Mitchie · Mitchie

i have been taking care of my mother for 12 years, I am 46, she is 69 there is nothing "wrong" with her except she is finacially incapable. She is a drug addict, weather she is currently using or not is unknown, but she does have the behavior. During the past 15 years, she blew her inheritan...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Thanks to all of you who responded to my post about keeping someone's anonymity in the workplace. Reading your wisdom and recovery made me feel that you had my back. Your encouragement is giving me strength in a uncomfortable climate at work. Just to let you know, I did keep the person's anonymity and...

Overcome · Overcome

Steps One, Two and Three taught us about the disease of alcoholism, that we were powerless over the disease and that a Power greater than ourselves can return us to Sanity if we so desire. A short phrase for this is: I cant, God can, and Im going to Let Him.There are several different ways to approach the f...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I really missed you guys.. So far things had been going well since the last time I posted. We decided to work together. He has gone to AA meetings. He is actually going two times a week now. However past week things have been going down again. His antics & such are mounting up on me. Today I am a little...

rehprof · rehprof

back story.. A lost job in June 2010. Asked him to leave in Oct. We divorced in March 2012. He asked for $500 a week in alimony -- in anticipation that he would have to pay child support...and in hopes that the judge would award it to even out him having to pay child support. this is 2/3 of my entire income. I p...

Gailey · Gailey

Living with the disease of alcoholism is too much for most of us. As the Meeting opening states "Our thinking becomes distorted and we become irritable and unreasonable without even knowing it." Hotrod wrote this in another reply and for some reason it hit me hard today. I know I have heard...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Thank you all for catching me. Things are even better. It shocks me how situations can happen,blows up in your face sorta, it feels sooo awful, can't eat, drink, sleep, breath. Ya just don't think yet you are on this train to what you believe is the worst thing. Then whoa, I did learn something! I admit al...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Language of Letting Go (which is not 12-step literature) talked today about not getting hooked into power plays and manipulation by others. The phone rings. It's my mother's cousin. She called me to do a power play - it was totally obvious. Insane, actually. I wish I handled it better. I lied and said s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so my health is very important. But, yesterday my doctor ordered an ultrasound. He wasn't being very nice either because he was dissatisfied w/ the incompetence he found in he lab results. No word on them until I got there. OH well...he is human. I really don't like him but oh well...at least I got him...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

If all you nice Alanoners don't want your alcoholic to lie to you, don't ask him any stupid questions. "Where were you last night?" or "What happened to your paycheck?" or "Why do you smell like Avon's Roses Roses?" Or my all-time favorite one: "W...

rellik · rellik

So I'm starting to lose the perception of control. I call it perception cuz I know I never had control. But I want it so bad!!! there is a slogan or formula that I have mentioned before that goes like this E+R=O. E=Event, these can be anything in our lives. being the spouse of an acoholic the "event&q...

xeno59 · xeno59

So spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the insides *sigh*. Bought a new computer and had everything transferred over but can't access the chatroom >tear<. I think I have downloaded Java a dozen times, no luck. Tried Mirc but i am just not that computer litterate. So until i get this worked out,...

Pushka · Pushka

I was mulling this around this early AM today, yes .. I probably shouldn't think to much however I am in the middle of a nasty little situation. I have to say that the lying is so part of the disease that in my case in dealing with the STBAX .. he can't tell the truth. It's not a matter of won't. If he were pra...

bryteyes · bryteyes

So ive read im supposed to detach myself. Im a very emotional person more like a caregiver so its very hard to do. Im angry that he is emotionless, has ño sense to what hes done to me and im supposed to not bring up anything to him cause I would be enabling him? My abnormal thought is that we have a 4 month old th...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ugh, AH has returned from Costa Rica all filled with love and appreciation for me. He thinks our marriage is over and actually said, "I wish you could have changed me.". Wow, I guess I didn't realize how hard I must have been working to change him all these years. Unfortunately, what he still...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I like this and sometimes need to remind myself ... God Grant me the serenity To accept the one I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Hope everybody has a higher powered day. TT

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

In our last session with the marriage counselor I was asked: what do you need or want from your husband? Honestly, I don't think I was prepared to give a response and so I didn't. Granted, I want him to find real sobriety but I want him to do that for himself, not just to cross off check marks for me. I have...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi. My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. My alcoholic father keeps re-hashing the past and things that he regrets. I keep receiving text messages from him and it's just a giant pity party. Here's how the conversation went. 'I love you' 'I wouldn't replace you for the world' Me: &q...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Just a little thought for everyone... I never used to realize all of the "elephants" walking around. I've now become SO sensitive to alcohol in general because of the AW. I can almost feel my heart beat get faster when I see an ad on TV for a wine festival coming up. Yesterday we went to Busc...

Ontario · Ontario

Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...

Lmtjude · Lmtjude

Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...

Adi · Adi

I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...

rellik · rellik

Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...

hotrod · hotrod

HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	waiting for news (Preview) This is really a time to call upon the spiritual part of my program and have faith, keep hopeful but I'm struggling with that this morning. I'm waiting for news from family and my former sponsor who are in the path of the storm. I found myself feeling resentful last night as I listened for updates on t...	tiredtonite	7	358	Oct 31, 2012 by stephaniej
	The better I get...the worse he seems to get (Preview) I don't post much so a little history. AH went to rehab last year, his drink of choice whiskey and drug of choice meth. He did good about 8 months. He's back to using and drinking beer. But slowly working his way back to whiskey. He sneaks other types of liquor that he thinks I don't notice, trying to get...	JAMIE74	5	559	Oct 31, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I need help (Preview) Hi everyone I'm a new but have been reading the stories for about 2 weeks now and everyone is so nice with lots of love and support. I have been seeing a counselor for about 3 months and it has helped but she continues to ask that I attend Al-anon. I have been twice but can't seem to continue going. I gue...	Cathyinaz	8	638	Oct 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Daniel 10/27/12 (Preview) at 7pounds 11 ounces and 20.5 inches tall he made his appearance at 6:01PM last evening. It was my granddaughters first child and our second great-grand child. We camped out side her door for over 12 hours as she did as instructed for over 24. I was concerned for her because she was so child like and d...	Jerry F	15	565	Oct 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Alcoholic mom (Preview) Hello! I am 18, freshmen in College, and still living at home. My mom is an alcoholic, and has been prior to when I was born. Shes been to rehab 4 times, most recently a couple months ago. She was sober for a month, and then began drinking again. Right now I dont have a car and she is my ride to and from school, a...	jwall	5	380	Oct 30, 2012 by UK Jane
	I'm not ok (Preview) Why do I say that I'm ok when people ask how I am? I don't feel ok. I feel depressed, damaged, injured, desperate. My husband is finally trying at our marriage and I can't for the life of me accept it. I can't let him in. I have this pain in my chest, and my heart beats so hard. I feel some deep, agonizing pai...	mehere80	14	605	Oct 30, 2012 by Minaret
	Differing opinion of how much is too much and AH is highly sexual when drinking (Preview) My AH knows that I am not interested in sleeping with him when he is drunk however we have very differing views about what constitutes drunk. I think he starts acting like an idiot after 2-3 drinks, he thinks it comes a lot later. Problem is he is extremely amorous when he's drinking and my saying no alw...	Lizabelle123	5	554	Oct 30, 2012 by Minaret
	Seeing my role in a crappy situation (Preview) hey all, thanks to al anon i'm seeing my role in my own misery and how I bum myself out. I notice it in little things, like how I tell stories that are about bad things happening, or how I focus on the negative aspects of my life. Bottom line, I'm not an alcoholic, and I don't want alcoholics to tell me story....	jorjorjor	4	475	Oct 30, 2012 by Minaret
	Are you Listening? (Preview) This Past Weekend, I had some Good & Some Bad, Lots of Happy, & A Little Sad! And I Can Honestly Say, it was the Most Balanced Weekend I have had in a while, when it came to Mind, Body & Spirit! I have Handed My Expectation back to HP, and I have Left My Assumptions at His Feet as well! And So Far So G...	Jozie	4	529	Oct 30, 2012 by Minaret
	What do you do when ABF begs you to help him stop drinking? (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon. I spent 21 days with my ABF while he was in a rehab facility. I went to the facility every single day and sat in all the lectures with him and the meetings, and I also went to my own meetings to try to learn all I possibly could about this disease that has followed me around my entire life....	MJseeksSerenity	11	475	Oct 30, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	New to this site. (Preview) I am new to this site. I am attending my first al non meeting tomorrow at 12. My brothers is the A in my life and is currently in detox...again and wants me to puck him up tomorrow. I'm so worn down, stressed and tired. I'm one of only two family members left that help him. I have a family of my own and the guilt i...	Cher S6	7	420	Oct 30, 2012 by glad lee
	Having trouble dealing with his continued selfishness (Preview) I am struggling with his continued selfishness even with him in recovery. He never considers my feelings, needs or wants. It is always what he wants. I need advice. Trying to work my program, but I am experiencing anger. I always thought his self absorbed personality was because he was activel...	Wendy O	10	705	Oct 30, 2012 by Wendy O
	Working My Program! (Preview) Today I had a much-needed reminder of how far I've come in my program. I still struggle a lot in how I deal with my AH, and how I work my program in that relationship. But I also have a very, very dear friend dating back to 7th grade, who has struggled with alcoholism since high school. He has always been v...	stephaniej	5	467	Oct 30, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Coffee & Cigarettes (Preview) Still trying to quit these 2 things. Finding all I want to do is smoke and drink coffee more than ever! Anyone have any advice on why things like this are so hard for adult children and codependents? This would be in the same category as problems with food, spending, distraction, etc.	WorkingThroughIt	10	539	Oct 30, 2012 by denro
	Weekend Camping and other... (Preview) So, here's how the weekend went... We went camping with our grandson. The wife only drank one bottle of wine (half Friday night and the other half Saturday afternoon). I consider that a small victory. We have started to have some money issues due to the economy and a little reckless spending on her p...	hdftby100	2	421	Oct 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	Happy Thursday (Preview) Hello MIP Family, Just a quick update. The AH is 23 days sober today. This might be an actual record. He has not done the 90 meetings in 90 days thing as he previously so boldy announced, but he IS attending 4 times per week. And that is a HUGE improvement over the "I hate AA, I don't believe in God...	NovSun	3	309	Oct 29, 2012 by NovSun
	Taking Care of ME (Preview) So I came close to a mental melt down between home and work this month. So I am trying to take care of myself. I treated myself to an overdue hair cut. I cut 13 inches off and donated it to locks of love. I colored my hair as well and feel phenomenal. I was so scared but once I was there....I could not believe ho...	LulaMay	1	360	Oct 29, 2012 by jorjorjor
	My son 30/10/76-27/10/11 (Preview) Remembered today, & every day, with love. Ness xx	Ness	8	490	Oct 29, 2012 by Ness
	Can I trust him? (Preview) I'm new here and I haven't attented Al anon yet. I plan to, and reading these forums has encouraged me. I am currently separated and seriously considering divorce. My AH and I have been married 4 and a half years have a two year old who currently lives with me. My AH would go on weekly benders that last...	New Me	14	623	Oct 29, 2012 by New Me
	Constant Phone Calls (Preview) My sister is an alcholic. She calls me on the phone 4 to 8 times a day. Today, I couldn't take one more phone call of listening to her slurring words; I told her that I loved her very much, but not to call me until she was sober, and I hung up. I have not done this before because I feel so bad for her and her situati...	newdarsh	8	616	Oct 28, 2012 by abbyal
	Realizing how much this program has given me (Preview) So, so many people in the world have a bitter, cynical "life sucks, get used to it" attitude... when I was at the point in my life where I was at risk of succumbing to the same belief, my fellow Al-Anon members loaned me their strength, optimism, and hope until I got my own back. For most of my lif...	atheos	5	361	Oct 28, 2012 by UK Jane
	Sigh (Preview) Well it's gone from weird to weirder and today is the day he tells me I have never accepted him for his mental illness and that hurts him. Okayyyyyy never mind you are drinking everyday once again after 4 years of sobriety. Never mind you want me to bring in a third party in our relationship. Never mind you...	souljoy	2	311	Oct 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Alzheimer's and Alcoholism (Preview) Since I've noticed several posts lately about this I thought I'd start one of my own, since I've been down both roads. I posted a reply about my journey through these two diseases on another thread about Alzheimer's. In this other thread on "my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's", I s...	Overcome	2	529	Oct 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Hurricane Sandy (Preview) We are not in the path but we could possible feel the effects of her. My area/region could be getting as much as 50-100mm a rain & have wind gust up to 90 km/hour. So we will see how it plays out for school tmw. Hopefully it's not as bad they are warning! I will be praying for everyone who is in the path of Sa...	InspiredPhotography	1	290	Oct 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	New to this board and not sure where to begin... (Preview) I have been married to an alcoholic for 26 years. We got married very young, and in the naivete of my youth I thought that he would 'grow out of it'. He is unbelievably self-centered, isolates himself from the family by drinking in his workshop or outbuilding, hides how much he drinks, lies as easy as bre...	m0lissa	13	792	Oct 28, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	HP (God) never fail (Preview) Hi, everyone! I've a big grin on my face, and a Big "thank you" to my HP (God), my nephew gave me all but $300.00 of my money, I told him that was a gift and worry about paying that back. Thank you all for your support and possitive thoughts. I know it was a "God (HP)thing" I can't st...	Highlyfavored	4	288	Oct 28, 2012 by slogan_jim
	finally some fun! (Preview) I have finally had some fun to let go of some of the anxiety I have been having. It seems like sometimes when I write or talk about stuff things get easier but other times I just feel worse. I am going to have to turn all this stuff over. My HP is in charge of most of what I am going through not just the doctor. I ju...	Hoot Nanny	1	278	Oct 28, 2012 by hotrod
	Dropped Off The Paperwork (Preview) I finally dropped off the financial information to my lawyer. I am going through so many emotions, sadness, fear, relief. While I have not told my AH yet that I am ready to file (I will do that in the next few weeks) it is another step I am taking closer to divorce. After a great session with my therapist w...	TrudyS85	6	534	Oct 27, 2012 by gyzer02
	Sad (Preview) Hi my husband is an alcoholic in denial. We've been married for 14 years. We have 2 girls and his 23 year old is now living with us. She hates his drinking and sees what it has done to me. I raised her and she just graduated college and now working on masters. It amazes me that he fails to see what a beautfiul fa...	AZR	7	548	Oct 27, 2012 by abbyal
	My mom has alzheimer's disease...... (Preview) and after about 2 years of taking care of her my family is showing signs of falling apart. It is 5 of us...4 girls and 1 boy. Mom has always lived with my brother. He is a non-drinking A that has not had a drink in many years. He thinks he is the dictator of all that goes on with regard to taking care of our mother...	Gailey	5	696	Oct 27, 2012 by Overcome
	Mental preparation for the weekend... (Preview) Well, last week at this time I was much worse off than today... good news! The Al-Anon meeting I went to yesterday seems to be a little better fit than the first group I attended. Nothing per se bad about the first group but just seemed like a better fit for me. Still have to work into it though. I am stil...	hdftby100	2	469	Oct 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	help in dealing with resentment, guilt regarding my mother (Preview) i have been taking care of my mother for 12 years, I am 46, she is 69 there is nothing "wrong" with her except she is finacially incapable. She is a drug addict, weather she is currently using or not is unknown, but she does have the behavior. During the past 15 years, she blew her inheritan...	Mitchie	6	800	Oct 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Update about work (Preview) Thanks to all of you who responded to my post about keeping someone's anonymity in the workplace. Reading your wisdom and recovery made me feel that you had my back. Your encouragement is giving me strength in a uncomfortable climate at work. Just to let you know, I did keep the person's anonymity and...	tiredtonite	2	436	Oct 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	STEP FOUR: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (Preview) Steps One, Two and Three taught us about the disease of alcoholism, that we were powerless over the disease and that a Power greater than ourselves can return us to Sanity if we so desire. A short phrase for this is: I cant, God can, and Im going to Let Him.There are several different ways to approach the f...	Overcome	3	1449	Oct 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hi (Preview) I really missed you guys.. So far things had been going well since the last time I posted. We decided to work together. He has gone to AA meetings. He is actually going two times a week now. However past week things have been going down again. His antics & such are mounting up on me. Today I am a little...	InspiredPhotography	12	631	Oct 26, 2012 by hotrod
	Do I ask or let it go? (Preview) back story.. A lost job in June 2010. Asked him to leave in Oct. We divorced in March 2012. He asked for $500 a week in alimony -- in anticipation that he would have to pay child support...and in hopes that the judge would award it to even out him having to pay child support. this is 2/3 of my entire income. I p...	rehprof	26	680	Oct 26, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	WOW....I am still so sick! (Preview) Living with the disease of alcoholism is too much for most of us. As the Meeting opening states "Our thinking becomes distorted and we become irritable and unreasonable without even knowing it." Hotrod wrote this in another reply and for some reason it hit me hard today. I know I have heard...	Gailey	7	542	Oct 26, 2012 by Gailey
	Ya jest never know! (Preview) Thank you all for catching me. Things are even better. It shocks me how situations can happen,blows up in your face sorta, it feels sooo awful, can't eat, drink, sleep, breath. Ya just don't think yet you are on this train to what you believe is the worst thing. Then whoa, I did learn something! I admit al...	Debilyn	4	578	Oct 26, 2012 by Debilyn
	Meditation Book Came True Today (Preview) Language of Letting Go (which is not 12-step literature) talked today about not getting hooked into power plays and manipulation by others. The phone rings. It's my mother's cousin. She called me to do a power play - it was totally obvious. Insane, actually. I wish I handled it better. I lied and said s...	WorkingThroughIt	9	686	Oct 25, 2012 by orchidlover
	something else I gotta do! (Preview) OK so my health is very important. But, yesterday my doctor ordered an ultrasound. He wasn't being very nice either because he was dissatisfied w/ the incompetence he found in he lab results. No word on them until I got there. OH well...he is human. I really don't like him but oh well...at least I got him...	Hoot Nanny	2	276	Oct 25, 2012 by Icie
	Having a hard time with step 3 (Preview) I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long a...	daisy31	7	570	Oct 25, 2012 by mehere80
	A Suggestion from a Double-Winner (Preview) If all you nice Alanoners don't want your alcoholic to lie to you, don't ask him any stupid questions. "Where were you last night?" or "What happened to your paycheck?" or "Why do you smell like Avon's Roses Roses?" Or my all-time favorite one: "W...	WorkingThroughIt	18	652	Oct 25, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Solution to the CONTROL freek in me (Preview) So I'm starting to lose the perception of control. I call it perception cuz I know I never had control. But I want it so bad!!! there is a slogan or formula that I have mentioned before that goes like this E+R=O. E=Event, these can be anything in our lives. being the spouse of an acoholic the "event&q...	rellik	5	573	Oct 24, 2012 by rellik
	Fried computer (Preview) So spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the insides sigh. Bought a new computer and had everything transferred over but can't access the chatroom >tear<. I think I have downloaded Java a dozen times, no luck. Tried Mirc but i am just not that computer litterate. So until i get this worked out,...	xeno59	4	292	Oct 24, 2012 by xeno59
	Can't VS Won't (Preview) I was mulling this around this early AM today, yes .. I probably shouldn't think to much however I am in the middle of a nasty little situation. I have to say that the lying is so part of the disease that in my case in dealing with the STBAX .. he can't tell the truth. It's not a matter of won't. If he were pra...	Pushka	11	561	Oct 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	im angry confused and habing abnormal thoughtse (Preview) So ive read im supposed to detach myself. Im a very emotional person more like a caregiver so its very hard to do. Im angry that he is emotionless, has ño sense to what hes done to me and im supposed to not bring up anything to him cause I would be enabling him? My abnormal thought is that we have a 4 month old th...	bryteyes	8	635	Oct 23, 2012 by BeTheChange
	My head is going to explode! (Preview) Ugh, AH has returned from Costa Rica all filled with love and appreciation for me. He thinks our marriage is over and actually said, "I wish you could have changed me.". Wow, I guess I didn't realize how hard I must have been working to change him all these years. Unfortunately, what he still...	ilovedogs	7	652	Oct 23, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	A New Twist on an Old Prayer (Preview) I like this and sometimes need to remind myself ... God Grant me the serenity To accept the one I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Hope everybody has a higher powered day. TT	tiredtonite	4	367	Oct 23, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	What do YOU NEED and WANT? (Preview) In our last session with the marriage counselor I was asked: what do you need or want from your husband? Honestly, I don't think I was prepared to give a response and so I didn't. Granted, I want him to find real sobriety but I want him to do that for himself, not just to cross off check marks for me. I have...	ilovedogs	18	759	Oct 23, 2012 by OZ Amplexd
	He's drunk again (share) (Preview) Hi. My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. My alcoholic father keeps re-hashing the past and things that he regrets. I keep receiving text messages from him and it's just a giant pity party. Here's how the conversation went. 'I love you' 'I wouldn't replace you for the world' Me: &q...	slogan_jim	5	558	Oct 23, 2012 by xeno59
	Never used to see all the elephants walking around... (Preview) Just a little thought for everyone... I never used to realize all of the "elephants" walking around. I've now become SO sensitive to alcohol in general because of the AW. I can almost feel my heart beat get faster when I see an ad on TV for a wine festival coming up. Yesterday we went to Busc...	hdftby100	1	329	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Not trusting my judgement (Preview) Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...	Ontario	6	717	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Help for my daughter (Preview) Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...	Lmtjude	4	445	Oct 23, 2012 by Temple
	Help me decide please (Preview) I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...	Adi	8	559	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	She couldn't do it... (Preview) Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...	hdftby100	3	440	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	First hurdle (Preview) Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...	rellik	6	454	Oct 22, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Don't know what God's will is? (Preview) I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...	Highlyfavored	9	605	Oct 22, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	practicing these principles (Preview) Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...	tiredtonite	7	611	Oct 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...	hotrod	2	296	Oct 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Confused, and hurting need your help please. (Preview) Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...	Debilyn	19	806	Oct 22, 2012 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.