Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · Debilyn

Thank you all for catching me. Things are even better. It shocks me how situations can happen,blows up in your face sorta, it feels sooo awful, can't eat, drink, sleep, breath. Ya just don't think yet you are on this train to what you believe is the worst thing. Then whoa, I did learn something! I admit al...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Language of Letting Go (which is not 12-step literature) talked today about not getting hooked into power plays and manipulation by others. The phone rings. It's my mother's cousin. She called me to do a power play - it was totally obvious. Insane, actually. I wish I handled it better. I lied and said s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so my health is very important. But, yesterday my doctor ordered an ultrasound. He wasn't being very nice either because he was dissatisfied w/ the incompetence he found in he lab results. No word on them until I got there. OH well...he is human. I really don't like him but oh well...at least I got him...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

If all you nice Alanoners don't want your alcoholic to lie to you, don't ask him any stupid questions. "Where were you last night?" or "What happened to your paycheck?" or "Why do you smell like Avon's Roses Roses?" Or my all-time favorite one: "W...

rellik · rellik

So I'm starting to lose the perception of control. I call it perception cuz I know I never had control. But I want it so bad!!! there is a slogan or formula that I have mentioned before that goes like this E+R=O. E=Event, these can be anything in our lives. being the spouse of an acoholic the "event&q...

xeno59 · xeno59

So spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the insides *sigh*. Bought a new computer and had everything transferred over but can't access the chatroom >tear<. I think I have downloaded Java a dozen times, no luck. Tried Mirc but i am just not that computer litterate. So until i get this worked out,...

Pushka · Pushka

I was mulling this around this early AM today, yes .. I probably shouldn't think to much however I am in the middle of a nasty little situation. I have to say that the lying is so part of the disease that in my case in dealing with the STBAX .. he can't tell the truth. It's not a matter of won't. If he were pra...

bryteyes · bryteyes

So ive read im supposed to detach myself. Im a very emotional person more like a caregiver so its very hard to do. Im angry that he is emotionless, has ño sense to what hes done to me and im supposed to not bring up anything to him cause I would be enabling him? My abnormal thought is that we have a 4 month old th...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ugh, AH has returned from Costa Rica all filled with love and appreciation for me. He thinks our marriage is over and actually said, "I wish you could have changed me.". Wow, I guess I didn't realize how hard I must have been working to change him all these years. Unfortunately, what he still...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I like this and sometimes need to remind myself ... God Grant me the serenity To accept the one I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Hope everybody has a higher powered day. TT

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

In our last session with the marriage counselor I was asked: what do you need or want from your husband? Honestly, I don't think I was prepared to give a response and so I didn't. Granted, I want him to find real sobriety but I want him to do that for himself, not just to cross off check marks for me. I have...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi. My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. My alcoholic father keeps re-hashing the past and things that he regrets. I keep receiving text messages from him and it's just a giant pity party. Here's how the conversation went. 'I love you' 'I wouldn't replace you for the world' Me: &q...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Just a little thought for everyone... I never used to realize all of the "elephants" walking around. I've now become SO sensitive to alcohol in general because of the AW. I can almost feel my heart beat get faster when I see an ad on TV for a wine festival coming up. Yesterday we went to Busc...

Ontario · Ontario

Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...

Lmtjude · Lmtjude

Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...

Adi · Adi

I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...

rellik · rellik

Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...

hotrod · hotrod

HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...

rellik · rellik

I don't know how everyone feels about music. But i found a song that really makes me feel good about "let go and let God" it is " the cave" by mumford and sons. When my spirits are down and i feel week, i play this song and i feel better about right now and tomorrow.

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

What's that saying, don't pray for patience, or God will test you? I've been working and learning to turn my life over to my HP. Guess he decided levelling things was a better way to start, apparently my foundation is shakey LOL. Ok this is "not" funny news, forgive my air of humor but this is...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Not that im terribly surprised.he texted at 3 yezterday to say he was at budxies an hourplus from home...would prob have dinner and then "who knows". That was the last I heard from him despite me texting asking that he call our child to say gnight...didnt happen. The excuse is always....my...

denro · denro

My business partner keeps promising me money. He keeps making promises and breaking them. I get attached, uncomfortable and resentful. I know I need to turn it over to the higher power and I am struggling with that. I am looking to see how I can make it more natural to let it go and let my business partner b...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I left My A/BF on Wednesday, Moved in with my daughter, got a job ( A hard job making 55.00 a day cash for 3 days) Tomarrow will be my 2nd Day. My A calls tonight, begging, begging to please come home. Things will be different. On, and On..... He has made promises before, but this time is different, it's like...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am waiting for the results from all the tests & on Monday I hopefully will know what is going on w/ all the pain in my body. I have been struggling a lot & I just want to know what is wrong, what it is called & what the doctor can do about it--treatment. I will let you all know as soon as I can. It is s...

Desirae · Desirae

Todays meeting is scheduled for 10:00AM Eastern time. I am just wondering if there is a chair today...

CDK · CDK

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I still read here several times a week, and continue to learn and grow from you all. Thank you all so much. Im doing so much better than I ever thought possible when I first showed up here ay the beginning of the summer. I have decided to continue my 12 step journey in a CoDa...

Umutlu · Umutlu

This is my first time posting. I've never been to a meeting and I've only ever told two people that I think my husband has a drinking problem. I am 48 years old, I've been married for 21 years. I have two teenage children. I live in Europe. I am married to a wonderful man. He is loving, affectionate, support...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

When I was looking at our online banking today comparing it to our checkbook, I noticed that this morning the wife must have gone to the grocery store on the way in to work. Guess what my first thought was...? Yes, I bet she bought some alcohol. Maybe a small breakthrough but here is how my thoughts wen...

Jozie · Jozie

This Seems at times in My Life! I Start the Fun Little Roller Coaster Ride, and then when it gets going in all directions I Find a Safe Place to Land & Get off! I hand My Problems & My Life over to the God of My Understanding... Then... I take it back... I know I'm Human & Not Alone but sometimes It...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been having my struggles as of late and not only with the wise old timers, but with the new comers I am learning so much! I am so glad to listen to their ESH. Where they are at also reminds me of what I have been through and thanks to Al-anon it's a lot easier. I have my handy tool belt with lots of tools a...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so the AH got that I did not have a great day. I had told her on the phone (she was addimant and asked) that I was not comfortable with her drinking at all. She said "So now things have changed and you don't want me to drink at all." I replied that the decision was hers to do what she wanted to d...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop. I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish. Except that w...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so I went to my first meeting. Not really what I thought. I plan on continuing with Al-Anon to give it a chance as everyone has suggested. I also plan on attending more than one group to see which one "fits" me if that makes sense. I was the only male there and most of the women were older (...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am pissed that my boyfriend last night was found to be be sneaky and hiding fb messages between him and the girl we had already had to discuss due to a weird party photo of them previously titled getting leighed with Jen, funny huh, not to this girlfriend, Why would he be needing hugs and hanging on som...

davie · davie

Hi everyone, im new to this but i know full well that alanon and a.a support groups can help with people in desperate times when no one understands and no one knows what it like living with an alcoholic. my situation is that my wife of 11 years has been on and off alcohol for most this time wheras we breakup a...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Im not sure whats right or wrong or how to help.

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

I have been living with a functioning alcoholic for nearly a year now. I didn't realise at first that he was an alcoholic. Surprisingly. I've never existed near anyone who drank heavily or frequently. When we first got together it was a case of 8 pints a night, same on a Saturday and Sunday afterno...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Boy, this day got off to a terrible start. Went downstairs this morning to discover a huge puddle of dog pee in the living room, on my son's toybox. Cleaned that up. Then had a fight with my AH, in which he called me a name he has never, ever called me before, and which upset me more than anything else he ha...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So far this week I have been feeling pretty good about the wife and her alcohol use. It appeared this week she had not had anything to drink. Had a HUGE setback this morning. As she was leaving for work I heard her put something in the trash can outside. I immediately thought "wonder if that is al...

ember127 · ember127

My father has been an alcoholic for my whole life and then some. He was a mean drunk for the most of my childhood and then his anger got better after I became an adult but his drinking didn't. He refuses to get help and tells us all that he drinks and we need to adapt to that. He still gets angry sometimes and no...

Honeybee52000 · Honeybee52000

Hello fellow Recovery friends! I am putting together a basket for an Al-Anon function... the theme: looking for a Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store. The problem: I cannot find the reading in our literature! AGH! We use this phrase all the time in meetings, and I cant find the reading (which I know ex...

EpiBound · EpiBound

Every once in a while I like to find the exact source of things. I first read the phrase "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" in early 1993. Since then I often hear it quoted, and a web search for the phrase shows how much of a commonplace it's become. But no one gives exact credit, an...

KateEN · KateEN

Does anyone have recommendations on al-anon literature? I am reading "How al-anon works" and have found it very helpful. I'd love some advice on where to go from here. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so anything geared towards this is especially helpful. Also, how did everyone find their...

Oksie · Oksie

HI all Not sure how many people are here who remember me. I went overseas for a while and didnt' get to computers or MIP. But I am back from my holiday. Things went quite well. My husband and I had a lovely holiday together, with the addict only coming out to visit when we went to Amsterdam (he is a pot addic...

Jozie · Jozie

Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! I tell you I have been Fighting & Biting & Kicking My Way these last Couple Weeks! But I'm Nearin the Finish LIne, and I have to say, I will Feel a Least I Little Relief when it lands! I have been doing my best to stay IN the "Me &...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

For the past year or so my sponsor have been dealing with her own issues, divorce and all the fallout from that, I've felt like the roles are reversed. Anyway, I've been thinking I needed a new sponsor. Yesterday, at a meeting I was impressed by a members comment during the meeting, she attends regula...

chinup · chinup

my a b/f came over just for a few mins to eat a bite or maybe it was more like 30 mins or so,anyway i was ready for him to leave as soon as he got here cause he drags his beer around withhim like its a purse,and i could tell with his personality he had a good buzz going,he still talking like we are married and what o...

tortuga · tortuga

I am currently trying to start, (still ongoing!!) my personal inventory. And I noticed, with the hint of my sponsor, that I wasn't completely 'fearful' yet to do that. I hadn't noticed before. Actually I am full of fear to write down those truths on paper I already know or noticed about myself. My spon...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am so torn. This weekend was so emotionally confusing and draining. With my soon to be ex (yes, I have made up my mind) being so nasty ans saying such hurtful things, I wonder if I am making a mole hill out of a mountain or the other way around??? He wants to see his daughter this weekend. I want my daught...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

As AH and I are currently seperated and I am trying to figure out if I want to stay married to him, I have had to do a lot of soul searching. When I tell him my hesitations (all the years of lying, hiding, verbal abuse, etc.) he keeps coming back at me with "well if you can't forgive me then that's your pr...

Samantha87 · Samantha87

hey all! :) I was referred to join an Alanon group to learn how to cope with the (drug) addiction of my mother. I've been trying to muster up the confidence to walk into a meeting but for some reason I am finding that harder to do than I thought. I don't want to do it alone, I suppose. I thought randomly, maybe...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've been in a "mood" for about half a week. I've been irritable, nit-picky and my favorite line "I can't stand to be around myself". Not in a beat myself up way, but I am trying to be more self aware. I haven't been feeling this way in awhile and I have the ability to either figure i...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Searching for myself again. Where have I gone and What happened to all my morals and plans for my life and how do I get that back. I have a sponcer she says to keep going to meetings that is how I will learn to find myself again. I know its part of codependence I lost all that. Only 7 years ago I went to school for...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told...

chinup · chinup

im still haveing issues with saying no to my ab/f,when it comes to him wanting to stay all nite with me when i really dont want him to,saying no to him when he wants sex when ive changed my way of thinking of all of it that his world isnt my world mine has changed alot that i dont want to do nothing thats gonna go...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ya jest never know! (Preview) Thank you all for catching me. Things are even better. It shocks me how situations can happen,blows up in your face sorta, it feels sooo awful, can't eat, drink, sleep, breath. Ya just don't think yet you are on this train to what you believe is the worst thing. Then whoa, I did learn something! I admit al...	Debilyn	4	550	Oct 26, 2012 by Debilyn
	Meditation Book Came True Today (Preview) Language of Letting Go (which is not 12-step literature) talked today about not getting hooked into power plays and manipulation by others. The phone rings. It's my mother's cousin. She called me to do a power play - it was totally obvious. Insane, actually. I wish I handled it better. I lied and said s...	WorkingThroughIt	9	663	Oct 25, 2012 by orchidlover
	something else I gotta do! (Preview) OK so my health is very important. But, yesterday my doctor ordered an ultrasound. He wasn't being very nice either because he was dissatisfied w/ the incompetence he found in he lab results. No word on them until I got there. OH well...he is human. I really don't like him but oh well...at least I got him...	Hoot Nanny	2	251	Oct 25, 2012 by Icie
	Having a hard time with step 3 (Preview) I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long a...	daisy31	7	531	Oct 25, 2012 by mehere80
	A Suggestion from a Double-Winner (Preview) If all you nice Alanoners don't want your alcoholic to lie to you, don't ask him any stupid questions. "Where were you last night?" or "What happened to your paycheck?" or "Why do you smell like Avon's Roses Roses?" Or my all-time favorite one: "W...	WorkingThroughIt	18	625	Oct 25, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Solution to the CONTROL freek in me (Preview) So I'm starting to lose the perception of control. I call it perception cuz I know I never had control. But I want it so bad!!! there is a slogan or formula that I have mentioned before that goes like this E+R=O. E=Event, these can be anything in our lives. being the spouse of an acoholic the "event&q...	rellik	5	538	Oct 24, 2012 by rellik
	Fried computer (Preview) So spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the insides sigh. Bought a new computer and had everything transferred over but can't access the chatroom >tear<. I think I have downloaded Java a dozen times, no luck. Tried Mirc but i am just not that computer litterate. So until i get this worked out,...	xeno59	4	268	Oct 24, 2012 by xeno59
	Can't VS Won't (Preview) I was mulling this around this early AM today, yes .. I probably shouldn't think to much however I am in the middle of a nasty little situation. I have to say that the lying is so part of the disease that in my case in dealing with the STBAX .. he can't tell the truth. It's not a matter of won't. If he were pra...	Pushka	11	529	Oct 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	im angry confused and habing abnormal thoughtse (Preview) So ive read im supposed to detach myself. Im a very emotional person more like a caregiver so its very hard to do. Im angry that he is emotionless, has ño sense to what hes done to me and im supposed to not bring up anything to him cause I would be enabling him? My abnormal thought is that we have a 4 month old th...	bryteyes	8	613	Oct 23, 2012 by BeTheChange
	My head is going to explode! (Preview) Ugh, AH has returned from Costa Rica all filled with love and appreciation for me. He thinks our marriage is over and actually said, "I wish you could have changed me.". Wow, I guess I didn't realize how hard I must have been working to change him all these years. Unfortunately, what he still...	ilovedogs	7	629	Oct 23, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	A New Twist on an Old Prayer (Preview) I like this and sometimes need to remind myself ... God Grant me the serenity To accept the one I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Hope everybody has a higher powered day. TT	tiredtonite	4	343	Oct 23, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	What do YOU NEED and WANT? (Preview) In our last session with the marriage counselor I was asked: what do you need or want from your husband? Honestly, I don't think I was prepared to give a response and so I didn't. Granted, I want him to find real sobriety but I want him to do that for himself, not just to cross off check marks for me. I have...	ilovedogs	18	714	Oct 23, 2012 by OZ Amplexd
	He's drunk again (share) (Preview) Hi. My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. My alcoholic father keeps re-hashing the past and things that he regrets. I keep receiving text messages from him and it's just a giant pity party. Here's how the conversation went. 'I love you' 'I wouldn't replace you for the world' Me: &q...	slogan_jim	5	529	Oct 23, 2012 by xeno59
	Never used to see all the elephants walking around... (Preview) Just a little thought for everyone... I never used to realize all of the "elephants" walking around. I've now become SO sensitive to alcohol in general because of the AW. I can almost feel my heart beat get faster when I see an ad on TV for a wine festival coming up. Yesterday we went to Busc...	hdftby100	1	308	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Not trusting my judgement (Preview) Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...	Ontario	6	689	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Help for my daughter (Preview) Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...	Lmtjude	4	424	Oct 23, 2012 by Temple
	Help me decide please (Preview) I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...	Adi	8	537	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	She couldn't do it... (Preview) Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...	hdftby100	3	416	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	First hurdle (Preview) Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...	rellik	6	427	Oct 22, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Don't know what God's will is? (Preview) I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...	Highlyfavored	9	579	Oct 22, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	practicing these principles (Preview) Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...	tiredtonite	7	589	Oct 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...	hotrod	2	275	Oct 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Confused, and hurting need your help please. (Preview) Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...	Debilyn	19	783	Oct 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	My song of change (Preview) I don't know how everyone feels about music. But i found a song that really makes me feel good about "let go and let God" it is " the cave" by mumford and sons. When my spirits are down and i feel week, i play this song and i feel better about right now and tomorrow.	rellik	7	368	Oct 21, 2012 by rellik
	Awe HP you have a sense of humor! (Preview) What's that saying, don't pray for patience, or God will test you? I've been working and learning to turn my life over to my HP. Guess he decided levelling things was a better way to start, apparently my foundation is shakey LOL. Ok this is "not" funny news, forgive my air of humor but this is...	AStrongerMe	5	451	Oct 21, 2012 by Wolfie55
	he stayed out all night...again. (Preview) Not that im terribly surprised.he texted at 3 yezterday to say he was at budxies an hourplus from home...would prob have dinner and then "who knows". That was the last I heard from him despite me texting asking that he call our child to say gnight...didnt happen. The excuse is always....my...	Theoceancalls	9	3201	Oct 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Handling a Broken Promise (Preview) My business partner keeps promising me money. He keeps making promises and breaking them. I get attached, uncomfortable and resentful. I know I need to turn it over to the higher power and I am struggling with that. I am looking to see how I can make it more natural to let it go and let my business partner b...	denro	8	479	Oct 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Don't know how to handle this??? (Preview) I left My A/BF on Wednesday, Moved in with my daughter, got a job ( A hard job making 55.00 a day cash for 3 days) Tomarrow will be my 2nd Day. My A calls tonight, begging, begging to please come home. Things will be different. On, and On..... He has made promises before, but this time is different, it's like...	sisdragonfly1957	4	629	Oct 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	where do I go from here? (Preview) I am waiting for the results from all the tests & on Monday I hopefully will know what is going on w/ all the pain in my body. I have been struggling a lot & I just want to know what is wrong, what it is called & what the doctor can do about it--treatment. I will let you all know as soon as I can. It is s...	Hoot Nanny	4	464	Oct 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	Is there an Al-anon meeting today? :pc: (Preview) Todays meeting is scheduled for 10:00AM Eastern time. I am just wondering if there is a chair today...	Desirae	0	266	Oct 20, 2012 by Desirae
	Hello! (Preview) Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I still read here several times a week, and continue to learn and grow from you all. Thank you all so much. Im doing so much better than I ever thought possible when I first showed up here ay the beginning of the summer. I have decided to continue my 12 step journey in a CoDa...	CDK	2	322	Oct 20, 2012 by ilovedogs
	New and Confused (Preview) This is my first time posting. I've never been to a meeting and I've only ever told two people that I think my husband has a drinking problem. I am 48 years old, I've been married for 21 years. I have two teenage children. I live in Europe. I am married to a wonderful man. He is loving, affectionate, support...	Umutlu	7	566	Oct 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	So, I think my AW went by teh grocery store on the way to work... (Preview) When I was looking at our online banking today comparing it to our checkbook, I noticed that this morning the wife must have gone to the grocery store on the way in to work. Guess what my first thought was...? Yes, I bet she bought some alcohol. Maybe a small breakthrough but here is how my thoughts wen...	hdftby100	7	481	Oct 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	On-Off... Give away-Take back.... (Preview) This Seems at times in My Life! I Start the Fun Little Roller Coaster Ride, and then when it gets going in all directions I Find a Safe Place to Land & Get off! I hand My Problems & My Life over to the God of My Understanding... Then... I take it back... I know I'm Human & Not Alone but sometimes It...	Jozie	3	447	Oct 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I am loving all the new comers (Preview) I have been having my struggles as of late and not only with the wise old timers, but with the new comers I am learning so much! I am so glad to listen to their ESH. Where they are at also reminds me of what I have been through and thanks to Al-anon it's a lot easier. I have my handy tool belt with lots of tools a...	Breakingfree	4	397	Oct 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Can't sleep. Did some things wrong this evening and some mixed results... (Preview) Ok, so the AH got that I did not have a great day. I had told her on the phone (she was addimant and asked) that I was not comfortable with her drinking at all. She said "So now things have changed and you don't want me to drink at all." I replied that the decision was hers to do what she wanted to d...	hdftby100	6	543	Oct 19, 2012 by orchidlover
	keeping my focus (Preview) Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop. I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish. Except that w...	Jackie11	2	363	Oct 19, 2012 by Jackie11
	Went to my first meeting... (Preview) Ok, so I went to my first meeting. Not really what I thought. I plan on continuing with Al-Anon to give it a chance as everyone has suggested. I also plan on attending more than one group to see which one "fits" me if that makes sense. I was the only male there and most of the women were older (...	hdftby100	13	571	Oct 19, 2012 by Gailey
	Thinking, I am meant to walk alone atleast at this point. (Preview) I am pissed that my boyfriend last night was found to be be sneaky and hiding fb messages between him and the girl we had already had to discuss due to a weird party photo of them previously titled getting leighed with Jen, funny huh, not to this girlfriend, Why would he be needing hugs and hanging on som...	Breakingfree	11	2361	Oct 19, 2012 by Dawn Marie
	alcoholic wife wont let me move on !! (Preview) Hi everyone, im new to this but i know full well that alanon and a.a support groups can help with people in desperate times when no one understands and no one knows what it like living with an alcoholic. my situation is that my wife of 11 years has been on and off alcohol for most this time wheras we breakup a...	davie	12	773	Oct 19, 2012 by davie
	plz help im new. not sure how to write on here. im dealing with a recovery alcoholic who is verbally abusive. (Preview) Im not sure whats right or wrong or how to help.	bryteyes	9	646	Oct 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Hi and help and advice please (Preview) I have been living with a functioning alcoholic for nearly a year now. I didn't realise at first that he was an alcoholic. Surprisingly. I've never existed near anyone who drank heavily or frequently. When we first got together it was a case of 8 pints a night, same on a Saturday and Sunday afterno...	Cherubhmm	9	602	Oct 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Saving a Rotten, Rotten Day (Preview) Boy, this day got off to a terrible start. Went downstairs this morning to discover a huge puddle of dog pee in the living room, on my son's toybox. Cleaned that up. Then had a fight with my AH, in which he called me a name he has never, ever called me before, and which upset me more than anything else he ha...	stephaniej	6	479	Oct 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Crushed this morning, barely holding it together. (Preview) So far this week I have been feeling pretty good about the wife and her alcohol use. It appeared this week she had not had anything to drink. Had a HUGE setback this morning. As she was leaving for work I heard her put something in the trash can outside. I immediately thought "wonder if that is al...	hdftby100	16	758	Oct 19, 2012 by wp
	NEED ADVICE (Preview) My father has been an alcoholic for my whole life and then some. He was a mean drunk for the most of my childhood and then his anger got better after I became an adult but his drinking didn't. He refuses to get help and tells us all that he drinks and we need to adapt to that. He still gets angry sometimes and no...	ember127	6	738	Oct 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store loaf of bread hardware tools readings literature (Preview) Hello fellow Recovery friends! I am putting together a basket for an Al-Anon function... the theme: looking for a Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store. The problem: I cannot find the reading in our literature! AGH! We use this phrase all the time in meetings, and I cant find the reading (which I know ex...	Honeybee52000	1	5878	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	Hardware Store 100% Whole Wheat hardware store for a loaf of bread Courage to Change (Preview) Every once in a while I like to find the exact source of things. I first read the phrase "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" in early 1993. Since then I often hear it quoted, and a web search for the phrase shows how much of a commonplace it's become. But no one gives exact credit, an...	EpiBound	5	3046	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	Still learning.... Literature & Sponsor Sponsor literature (Preview) Does anyone have recommendations on al-anon literature? I am reading "How al-anon works" and have found it very helpful. I'd love some advice on where to go from here. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so anything geared towards this is especially helpful. Also, how did everyone find their...	KateEN	5	4792	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	I'm back (Preview) HI all Not sure how many people are here who remember me. I went overseas for a while and didnt' get to computers or MIP. But I am back from my holiday. Things went quite well. My husband and I had a lovely holiday together, with the addict only coming out to visit when we went to Amsterdam (he is a pot addic...	Oksie	6	452	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! (Preview) Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! I tell you I have been Fighting & Biting & Kicking My Way these last Couple Weeks! But I'm Nearin the Finish LIne, and I have to say, I will Feel a Least I Little Relief when it lands! I have been doing my best to stay IN the "Me &...	Jozie	1	494	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	Getting a new sponsor (Preview) For the past year or so my sponsor have been dealing with her own issues, divorce and all the fallout from that, I've felt like the roles are reversed. Anyway, I've been thinking I needed a new sponsor. Yesterday, at a meeting I was impressed by a members comment during the meeting, she attends regula...	Highlyfavored	3	354	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	i invited my a b/f over to eat (Preview) my a b/f came over just for a few mins to eat a bite or maybe it was more like 30 mins or so,anyway i was ready for him to leave as soon as he got here cause he drags his beer around withhim like its a purse,and i could tell with his personality he had a good buzz going,he still talking like we are married and what o...	chinup	4	712	Oct 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	ESH needed on detachment, and letting go of ones own shortcomings! (Preview) I am currently trying to start, (still ongoing!!) my personal inventory. And I noticed, with the hint of my sponsor, that I wasn't completely 'fearful' yet to do that. I hadn't noticed before. Actually I am full of fear to write down those truths on paper I already know or noticed about myself. My spon...	tortuga	4	622	Oct 17, 2012 by Kismet
	Molehill out of a mountain or mountain out of a molehill??? (Preview) I am so torn. This weekend was so emotionally confusing and draining. With my soon to be ex (yes, I have made up my mind) being so nasty ans saying such hurtful things, I wonder if I am making a mole hill out of a mountain or the other way around??? He wants to see his daughter this weekend. I want my daught...	dragonflys	2	669	Oct 17, 2012 by tiredtonite
	What Forgiveness Doesn't Mean (Preview) As AH and I are currently seperated and I am trying to figure out if I want to stay married to him, I have had to do a lot of soul searching. When I tell him my hesitations (all the years of lying, hiding, verbal abuse, etc.) he keeps coming back at me with "well if you can't forgive me then that's your pr...	TrudyS85	13	1519	Oct 17, 2012 by TrudyS85
	New here & would like some info! :) (Preview) hey all! :) I was referred to join an Alanon group to learn how to cope with the (drug) addiction of my mother. I've been trying to muster up the confidence to walk into a meeting but for some reason I am finding that harder to do than I thought. I don't want to do it alone, I suppose. I thought randomly, maybe...	Samantha87	4	460	Oct 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	Amazing what quiet will do (Preview) I've been in a "mood" for about half a week. I've been irritable, nit-picky and my favorite line "I can't stand to be around myself". Not in a beat myself up way, but I am trying to be more self aware. I haven't been feeling this way in awhile and I have the ability to either figure i...	AStrongerMe	5	415	Oct 17, 2012 by LulaMay
	Searching (Preview) Searching for myself again. Where have I gone and What happened to all my morals and plans for my life and how do I get that back. I have a sponcer she says to keep going to meetings that is how I will learn to find myself again. I know its part of codependence I lost all that. Only 7 years ago I went to school for...	peacewithin	4	454	Oct 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A good night (Preview) So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told...	hdftby100	3	330	Oct 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	hard to say no (Preview) im still haveing issues with saying no to my ab/f,when it comes to him wanting to stay all nite with me when i really dont want him to,saying no to him when he wants sex when ive changed my way of thinking of all of it that his world isnt my world mine has changed alot that i dont want to do nothing thats gonna go...	chinup	6	523	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.