The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long and then I am suppost to wait for my HP to tell me something? He doesn't talk audibly. I truly believe in a HP and I know he has been there for me my whole life and helped me so much. But I am so familiar with doing everything myself. I have so many self help books and have tried energy healing to no avail. I keep making mistakes too...like spending money that I really dont have and my husband is wanting me to tone that down - will step 3 help me with that? I really do feel like I am willing but then I wonder why I also feel this block. How do I turn my life over? What does that look like for you. I can't wait to read your responses because I know many of you have done step 3. I am so glad to be doing the steps but I also feel like I am in the desert with it all...confused.
Also, how did you feel when you were done with the steps. Was it like lighting hit you and you were a changed person or was it just a subtle awareness. I want like this huge "explosion" of life change....like I am a new person or something...........that all sounds funny doesn't it? haha....oh well...it's my real thoughts! :)
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It is very difficult to have a pity party when I am celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
It will aither work out, . . . or, . . . It will work out."
((((Daisy)))) such a precious and honest share about early struggles. I loved the memories it brings up for me because I've been there and done that myself and at times get to redo them. Our program is about progress - not perfection. We don't get to be more than human or less for that matter and learning to create new habits of living is reprograming. You have the willingness and the commitment and are doing the work and so it will come for you as it has for millions of other strugglers.
Turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood God was like this share and in the process for me I found out alot of things I didn't realize and know before the relationship with God started and started to work. Learning about absolute surrender was key. Learning about patience (In God's time not mine; and sometimes "No" can be God's answer) Learning about trust that while I was turning my will and my life over to God I was also into finding the solution also. Learning about not putting restraints on how God responds to me and thru what and thru whom. The miracles for me are about watching better come out for me in ways and thru times I could have never suspected and was able to recognize thru (if I keep and open mind I will find help) and knowing what the solution was and not the path to it. "When man listens...God Speaks"...I practice listening with all of the tools I have and not only my ears...for some blessing I am hearing impaired and so I get to see solutions with my eyes.
All of the steps are a daily life form and I don't believe I will ever get thru them and then find myself in an empty room with a diploma...I will never graduate the program.
White Light experiences!!?? LOL Keep listening to other member stories and you will realize that others have had those. I have had more than my share and sometime the light isn't white or bright. Sometimes they are referred to only by "Ahhh Ha".
Keep coming back and bringing your journey with you...It is soooo enlightening and supportive. Your Humility is a teacher. (((((hugs)))))
Some things that might be ideas you can work with: pray before you make decisions but do meditation prayer, give yourself a solid 30-60 minutes of quiet prayer time because actually our HP can work with us almost audibly. Be your HP a doorknob (in which case your conscience is going to be in play with your meditation), or a "God of your understanding" to which someone like me believes the holy spirit is speaking to my conscious. I have gotten HP responses quickly and in some cases several days or weeks of prayer have been required.
Another way I do this (and this one is hard for me) is to turn my worry over to my HP. I'm a bad worrier and if I don't push myself to hand it to my HP I will get myself all wound up. I literally take the worry, tell my HP in some fashion I'm giving it to him, and then I have to remind myself to stop thinking about it, my HP is taking care of it.
Reading literature is another way our HP can speak to us - through the words of others. I also believe a HP brings people to us when we need them.
Just some ideas - but something like the spending money - do you need an immediate response? No. Whtever you want to buy will be there in a day or a week, wait for the answer if it's not crystal clear. Say it's food, well my HP speaks pretty fast to me on that one "yeah you do have to feed those adorable kids of yours so get the food" LOL.
Love the responses you received. I too had no idea as to how to turn my will over and my sposnor pointed out that all I needed to do
in this Step was to make a decision to do so. By committing to working the program, using the slogans. calling my sponsor, attending meetings, working the Steps i was already working on that decision. Each time I did not react and prayed for guidance, I turned my will over, everytime I did not gossip or judge someone I had turned my will over. It is all a process and we seek progress not perfection.
As far as a spiritual awakening is concerned--- I did not have a lightening flash. It wa a gradual "waking up and acceptance of " the power of my God and his help in my life.
Thank you for the laugh, you brought me back to when I was new in the program.I too wanted this great big exposion...A lighening awakening, didn't happen ROFLMAO!
Nothing like that happened. Turning my will over to my Hp is using the solgans & following through like letting go & getting out of the way so God can do his work. Not getting my fingers back in there. Turning my will over to God's will. When I get really stuck & don't know what to do I sit quiet & ask myself what would my God approve of & usually I get a answer.Calling my sponsor, attending meetings, working the Steps to me is working step 3.
Sending loving support
Keep coming back
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Icie
"Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die..."
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, 1. We will be amazed before we are half way through. 2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. 3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. 4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. 5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. 6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. 7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. 8. Self-seeking will slip away. 9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. 10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. 11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. 12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves (spiritual awakening).
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
***Step 3 doesn't mean you become a robot and that God makes all your decisions now. It just means you are committing to a live of spiritual priciples. It means you believe enough in the program and the process to progress further. It means that you have accepted you can't really control situations that have been causing you so much trouble and you are throwing it back into the universe and trusting that your HP will guide you. It is believing that you will be transformed through further work into more of the person you want to be. It does not mean you will be a carbon copy of God or that you won't make mistakes. If you have they type of faith I described above, you are ready to move forward. It's all a process and you are never "done" because we live the steps daily. You will get better at knowing when the 3rd step needs to be used. You will become quicker to say the serenity prayer and move fowards when faced with out of control/powerless type situations. You have the gist of what this is about if you are willing to go on a path of spiritual discovery and are open minded to change.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Thursday 18th of October 2012 07:31:25 AM
I wanted to thank you for all of your support. It really means a lot. I just had no idea I would get so stuck on this step. I keep thinking back to my growing up years that if I dont believe a certain way then I am going to hell. I am so fearful. I freakin hate this! My body has been in pain from all the worrying. My sponsor wants to do a step a week and I feel like I barely got step 1 done. I dont know what to do. I just want to throw it all out the window. I didn't know it would be this hard.
__________________
It is very difficult to have a pity party when I am celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
It will aither work out, . . . or, . . . It will work out."
I've been working on step 3 for almost a year. A week?! ha! I came into this program as an "agnostic" so the HP stuff really has been hard for me as it is many- regardless of religious or non-religious background. I do feel ready for step 4 now, I've periodically worked on the blueprint but ultimately felt I needed to take it back to step 3, after a suggestion from an old-timer. I've also been reminded that it says "made a decision to..".... when we're trying and working at it we're doing it. It doesn't say Step 3: you've completely succeeded on every level to turn your will and life over to the care of god every day.
Great responses you're getting here. These words of wisdom are like gold, really.
When I'm angry/overwhelmed/struggling I know it probably means I'm trying to control or make things fit to be to my liking or have some other issue I need to deal with---I need to say "ok, your will not mine" and when I can say that and mean it- I instantly feel a weight lifted off of me. To me, this is my step 3. Good luck to you, I think you're doing just fine :)
