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Having trouble with my son
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks
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mercedes1959
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7
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321
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C2C
(Preview)
I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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297
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AD Doesn't Want to Meet with Me Over the Holidays
(Preview)
So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...
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Green Eyes
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9
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369
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The EGO and being called JUDGEMENTAL - ANY TAKERS?
(Preview)
I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...
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breamanic665
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9
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2294
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LIFE W/O FAMILY ON THE HOLIDAY...
(Preview)
UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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197
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Your Children
(Preview)
This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...
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oldergal
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7
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297
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A daughter sounded less rational
(Preview)
My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...
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lgnutah
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8
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415
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Time??trust?!
(Preview)
Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible)
I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas'
God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave.
But I've got p...
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sweeetr
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13
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523
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relationship with a recovering alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...
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Jessp98559
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7
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717
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I Vented BIG TIME TO MY SON
(Preview)
His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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422
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Day 3...
(Preview)
Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...
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Gaby
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4
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393
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Need some hugs or something
(Preview)
Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you.
So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...
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mm830
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14
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402
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Anti-alcohol. Another choice?
(Preview)
I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...
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irukan
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9
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443
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What a lovely time of the year this is!!!!
(Preview)
My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...
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el-cee
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9
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359
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View of addiction from the inside
(Preview)
I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...
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Mattie
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8
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428
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Feeling Overwhelmed/lost
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...
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slogan_jim
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12
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653
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How I am drowning myself
(Preview)
Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...
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breamanic665
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3
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414
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LOL! I feel like I need to post daily these days!
(Preview)
I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...
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ilovedogs
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13
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343
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Awareness-Acceptance-Action...and Coping with Withdrawal from the A
(Preview)
So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...
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tortuga
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5
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773
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I felt the support
(Preview)
Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox
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Corgi2
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4
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178
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My son is MIA!!! It hurts..
(Preview)
I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...
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Gaby
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14
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410
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Talking to the A's mum
(Preview)
Answered the phone. I knew it was her. When the phone rings and it is her, my whole body sort of slumps and I have to take a few moments to consider...do I really want to do this? Do I have enough to give today? Don't get me wrong. I care about A's mum. She has a loving heart and, unlike any other "mother in...
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Melly1248
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18
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485
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Super Saturday Al-Anon Christmas Party.
(Preview)
If anyone ever tries to tell me that we can't have fun when we want to I'm gonna tell them to "keep coming back". The meeting topic was Attitude which I will always show up for and then it was over and the food came out and then the "secret" by number gift exhange/swap and we got kno...
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Jerry F
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6
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397
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Oh no!!! Hes at it again
(Preview)
I am at work...EVERYONE knows NOT to call me unless it is emergency.....My A brother (my close one) knows my days bc I tell him ea. Sunday, "these are my days....NO calls" I am on my boss's computer working on the G/L making sure accounts are "ok" and no adjustments needed and phon...
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neshema2
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6
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354
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Another cycle
(Preview)
Good Morning all The son is on another cycle of drinking or drugs so will this time when he either gets hurt or comes down hard and he starts calling will I stay on my side of the street this time. Last time was my mistake of going to the hospital when I really didn't need to. This is like starting again for t...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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262
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every day is not rosey
(Preview)
So, every day is not rosey. I guess today could be one of those days if I let it. I am really just beginning my day. Time is going so fast that it is almost scary & hard to bear. But, in recovery we take it a day at a time. I am not an expert at anything but there are some things I do well. I am searching for more b...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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257
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Asking for prayers....
(Preview)
Hi everyone....I am asking for some positive thoughts/prayers to be sent my way because I can't stop beating myself up. I am harder on myself than anyone else in my life. I am especially being hard on myself because I am very vulnerable right now as I go through a break up and an old qualifier is trying to w...
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Corgi2
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6
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214
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My husband died
(Preview)
For you that have read my past posts. My worst nightmare came true. My husband (34 years old) died suddenly in front of me on November 5th, 2013. I tried saving him & then the ambulance didn't make it in time. I had already called the ambulance earlier in the night when he started feeling really b...
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swood31
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33
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1040
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Not In Control And So Sad
(Preview)
My son is coming up on 1 year clean and sober. I am suspecting an alcohol relapse. His behavior mimics old behavior. I detected a smell of what may be alcohol, and today his hands shook uncontrollably for several seconds. Ii know I am powerless, but I am filled with fear that it will escalate. He is on prob...
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Dotty2
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9
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501
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This is a horrible feeling...
(Preview)
So my son left the SLE HOME yesterday morning.. I again went out to look for him why ?? Because I just can't seem to let go.. Yes I found him parked in front of a pond shop.. I pulled in asking I want the car back n he can live his life.. He said NO!! I told him your addiction is out of control he agrees then I said I'...
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Gaby
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8
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437
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Waiting for God to reveal more
(Preview)
The place I'm at now is strange. I feel pretty good but I don't know where God wants me. i mean, I kind of do but I kind of really don't know at all. I'm an Adult Child, Alanon AND an Alcoholic. I fit in everywhere but nowhere. It's weird. one thing I am experiencing is that I am at Step 1 in Alanon. I've been real...
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WorkingThroughIt
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6
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464
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Thanks, neighbour!
(Preview)
Dear crazy neighbour. Thank-you for your unbelievably rude (and lengthy) note in my mailbox yesterday, and for the time you took to collect your patronising collection of pamphlets about "responsible pet ownership". I've never met you but I'm told that you are very advanced in age and p...
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Melly1248
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18
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456
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A look back on my week and when I did and did not use my Al-Anon principles!
(Preview)
What a very long week I have had. I allowed myself to become enmeshed in yet another situation that was not mine to take on. But, somehow I ended up smack in the middle of. Tues at 9AM a neighbor called and said the Sheriff was on the way to evict her. Not a huge surprise to me, she had not paid her mortgage in tw...
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Tricia911
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6
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364
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My strategy for surviving the holidays.
(Preview)
A humble strategy to survive holiday gatherings. (1) Begin by considering what you have, as not the absolute worst thing to have. At least there is something to complain about when we have family.Think of children who survived the Holocaust who have no memories of their parents, or very few left...
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Tricia911
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3
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778
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Again!!! My son is out there again..
(Preview)
He left the SLE HOUSE.. He is out there trying to get his next fix.. God is by me.. I feel the strength. I have done all I can do. All I can do now is pray !!! But I am so worried. I need peace !!
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Gaby
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12
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484
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some Alanon/ACOA sayings....swiped from houstonacas.com...
(Preview)
MORE HELPFUL ACA/Al-Anon SAYINGSIf you've been around 12 Step programs at all,you've heard at least one of these.Here's just a SMALL list of some of the sayingsyou'll hear around the "rooms." "When you're home by yourself you're behind enemy lines." "If you share you...
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neshema2
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9
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591
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HMMM....what do you buy an alcoholic/addict for Christmas
(Preview)
If you buy a nice gift they will sell it, if you give them money they will drink it....funny, but not funny, I am stumped... og A nice dinner is what seems to come to my mind....
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oldergal
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15
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615
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quote
(Preview)
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want!
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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148
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Replacing bad memories with new Good memories...
(Preview)
Came on here and looked up old post because I am so thankful, I no longer have that turning in my gut.. the constant pain that comes with allowing an Alcoholic room in my mind or heart... that feeling I was addicted to like an emotional cutter.... About two years ago.. I literally felt like it was death...
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glad
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7
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537
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Extra prayers please
(Preview)
Dear friends
Today is an important day for my A husband. He has an important meeting that could go very well or very poorly. He is so much better than he was one year ago, but the demons are still there. I am also much much healthier, but I still am worrying today about the "what ifs". What if he...
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ParisMemories
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10
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239
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trying to send some holiday cheer...
(Preview)
I can't seem to get the nerve or whatever motivation maybe to get some cards sent out to my friends & loved ones this year. I feel like I am always doing this & sometimes getting anxious & even frustrated w/ the whole process. I am doing things anonymously this year though. I am not going to to...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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268
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OT: doc found a mass
(Preview)
I just got back from my annual well woman visit. The doc found a mass under my right arm, in the armpit area next to my breast. She said it felt fluid filled, which I'm hoping is a good sign that it's not cancer. She wants me to get an ultrasound and a mammogram. I am already frustrated with insurance iss...
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ilovedogs
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22
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589
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Update on me
(Preview)
Things are crazy with finals next week Monday and Wednesday for my last 2 classes, I have passed and am done with the other 2 this week and passed them with A's, but the next 2 are the harder ones for sure. I need all the prayers and good thoughts my MIP family can muster. I have to score pretty good on Mondays...
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Breakingfree
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6
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240
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Should I feel guilty about this?
(Preview)
I have been dealing with an alcoholic Aunt (half Aunt) since I was a child; (I am now 52) and she is 56. She has been in and out of treatment too many times to count, and was sober for almost 8 years and started drinking again about a year ago. She has not been able to hold down a job and has depended on the fam...
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BeeBee
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8
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488
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Working through the holidays-Upsetting:(
(Preview)
So yeah, it takes a lot of work for me to enjoy this season, especially the past decade plus... My parents and only sibling are gone, and I have very little contact with my older sons, and none with my daughter. Long story short, bad bad divorce and aftermath. So this year, my 2 oldest sons are without vehi...
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Raven Juniper
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4
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510
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Obsession & Control
(Preview)
Any advice out there as to how people deal with their obsession and control? Can't seem to turn off my brain sometimes and just give it to my higher power. Any tools or coping mechanisms people have learned? Corgi
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Corgi2
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11
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503
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Questioning everything - just don't know how to do this
(Preview)
I have been married 19 years and have three children. He used to be a wonderful person. Until he became an alcoholic 4 years ago. I kicked him out a few weeks ago and have started divorce proceedings. We've been through AA and alanon and individual counseling and couples counseling and counseling for...
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sotiredofit
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10
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449
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Need to VENT !!
(Preview)
So my son moved into another SLE HOUSE. I had to ask him to leave Tuesday morning. It was just to hard to have him at home after him getting kicked out of the SLE APARTMENTS FOR A dirty test. So he found this home on his own an seems to like it. Today marks 5 days clean. My problem is detach, worry and fear. But I p...
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Gaby
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6
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227
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ehh,, it definatly gets better, I wonder how much better???
(Preview)
He is now with someone like him (and it's weird how happy that makes me, spooky weird) , I now have someone (I am taking it very very slowly with) who is so much like me it's awesome!! really it's odd.. but good odd.. I'm glad for both of us,,, but will I ever stop wishing my ex A well and "holding him d...
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glad
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6
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580
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Pinging--- Paula
(Preview)
Hey Paula, my good friend I am hoping that your boss has done something about security at your place of work.....That "near miss" was NOT something u need to be living with...I hope boss took this REAL serious...You are waaaay to precious to be at risk like that... Let us know how you are doin...
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neshema2
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3
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195
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Checking in
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I wanted to check in and let you all know I do come in and read time to time. I have been working my program to the fullest I can and today when I lay down I can sleep. It had been years since that has happened. I joined the step board, yet to post but enjoy looking around and am thankful for it to b...
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kn1228
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4
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201
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Quick; need advice
(Preview)
My AH is still going through with buying a house. I am NOT ok with it. Do I speak my concerns to him or let things play out?
If we get divorced, this is a community property state so both houses would be considered our assets. I'm just concerned about losing our savings for now as it would get lost in this new...
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ilovedogs
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13
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685
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Praying for restraint of tongue
(Preview)
At work - I wrote an email about how techs could be doing a better job at a few things. Lead tech responded trying to tell me that it is the job of the clinician to do this and that and stop pointing the finger at techs and be a team player. Um...I feel like I do their job all the time which is understandable in...
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pinkchip
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14
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500
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Stories of Recovery
(Preview)
I was looking for some Pod Casts and I came across this. Al-anon speakers..parents talking about their Children and Alcoholism....their stories. http://storiesofrecovery.org/Parents.htm
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Cathyinaz
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4
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2474
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Step 7
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 7 has been posted to the Step Work BoardHere is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55900128/step...
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hotrod
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0
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209
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Blaming Yourself
(Preview)
I had an unhealthy relationship with my son, I found that I was blaming myself for how he turned out, although I may have not raised him perfectly but I did my best with what I knew at the time. I latter learned to meditate and started living from the inside out. To me meditation put alot of my life in prospec...
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oldergal
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12
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528
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I hurt
(Preview)
My Sunday was a day to relax and watch movies. My son texts me that he is out of food and will not have any for 3 more days. I have been reading a lot this morning about stopping the enabling and stopping the recuses NO MATTER what happens. I hurt and feel sad but this has to be done. I can't step in anymore...
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Cathyinaz
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22
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634
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Giving and Receiving
(Preview)
At my meeting tonight the topic was giving and receiving. Sounds nice and just in time for Christmas. I thought about this in terms of my relationship with my son. I give - way too much and he receives too much. I give him too much thought, too much of my time thinking about him, too much of my happiness, wor...
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el-cee
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4
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465
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Looking Up Faith
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I have this overwhelming feeling all the time I need to take care of this, I need to do that. I need to help..no I can't do that...and on and on and on. My faith is not strong. I can't let go. I have read any and all I can find on posts about faith. I found a response from Jerry F back in 2011 that w...
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Cathyinaz
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18
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549
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Kudo's to our Service Workers!
(Preview)
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John
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9
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460
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