Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Gaby · Gaby

My son has not gone back to the ranch.. Pastor now says he is not allowed back on the ranch. That he has consequences to deal with. He is out in a different state and I feel guilty. I am a mess. Yes I do attend ala-non meetings. I need to find me a new Sponser.. I have a lot of family and friends support.. But this...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Hi everyone! I have tried to write an update for days and I can't ever find enough time to do much. Working full time with 2 small children and taking are of life by myself has me running ragged! I continue to read and learn all of the information I can about codependency, being a wife of an alcoholic, and...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Okay, So I was expecting to hang out with my husband tonight. He has had a very busy day today. He has been getting a couple of guys to do some work on our house?clean up the yard, fix some things. He also got them to go pick up a piano he bought for me at a thrift store. A super sweet gesture, really nice piano, $...

Rose50 · Rose50

I was surprised to get an email from my son today after weeks of silence. He wrote that he's still living in the rooming house and desperately needs to move out as guys are overdosing on heroin and smoking crack. He says he's looking for work - he will take just about anything at this point. As a last resort...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: It's been a while since I've posted but have gained so much ESH from reading all of your shares. I am upset tonight and having trouble getting past it. My oldest son (19) lives at home and is going to college locally. Mostly I love this. Tonight he asked to have some friends over. I said y...

neshema2 · neshema2

I wasn't gonna post this, but reconsidered bc some new folks might get a benefit from this bc I want to show just how MUCH this programme has worked for me...AND journalling out my "stuff" helps me move on as well.....I spoke w/my sponsor about this and she was like "OMG, you would in th...

Gaby · Gaby

My son woke up and walked off the ranch this morning.. He maybe out there in the cold.. Hungry .. And looking for his next fix. He is 4 hours away from me.. I can't live like this no more.. I can't save him .. I'm not god.. But I'm scared for him. I'm sick to my stomach and truly trying to realize that I can't help...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family..."No" is a complete sentence right? This time acting it out is better than verbalizing it because it was my Grand Daughter who I love to pieces who told me or was she asking hmmmm "you have to talk to dad (my eldest son who has relapsed)". Loving her permits me to...

John · John

I have been asked a few times if someone could have a copy of what I said in the meeting last night. I decided I would post it here, share it with everyone, and from here it can be copied by those who want to keep it for later reading. the topics were expectations, letting go of resentments, and acceptance...

Gaby · Gaby

I put in a face to face meeting last night. I clearly understand that I have to take it minute by minute. I clearly understand that I have no control of my son choices. He and I are 4 hours away and I can not rescue him because not only am I killing him but I'm killing me.. I wake up this morning with prayer. I am h...

Gaby · Gaby

Most of you know my situation with my A son.. He is 4 hours away because he said he does not want to live the way he has been living. He asked for the help. I provided it again. Today I get a phone from the recovery ranch and said my son walked off the ranch. This was 4 pm. I about fainted. Mind you he is out in no whe...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So never the case .. LOL .. . (Any references I make that seem offensive in terms of God or He .. .. this is the God of MY understanding, please feel free to insert the God of YOUR understanding into those statements as a whole I think they are universally true.) First off, big hugs to everyone who is strug...

Tasha · Tasha

One thing that's going on with me is that I'm realizing I'm still just as manipulative as always - I just know how to hide it under recovery slogans - sayings - and ideas. The things that I've 'learned' I'm just now using to still get what I want from people - and try to make them what I want them. What I have...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...

PatrickSean · PatrickSean

This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...

ditto · ditto

Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...

Nellybelly · Nellybelly

HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...

heythere · heythere

We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...

brendastarr · brendastarr

My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...

tortuga · tortuga

Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...

Gaby · Gaby

Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...

Carla042 · Carla042

Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...

oldergal · oldergal

Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...

oldergal · oldergal

This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible) I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas' God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave. But I've got p...

Jessp98559 · Jessp98559

Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...

mm830 · mm830

Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you. So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...

irukan · irukan

I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...

el-cee · el-cee

My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...

Mattie · Mattie

I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...

tortuga · tortuga

So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox

Gaby · Gaby

I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I have heard nothing and the guilt is in me.. (Preview) My son has not gone back to the ranch.. Pastor now says he is not allowed back on the ranch. That he has consequences to deal with. He is out in a different state and I feel guilty. I am a mess. Yes I do attend ala-non meetings. I need to find me a new Sponser.. I have a lot of family and friends support.. But this...	Gaby	12	481	Dec 21, 2013 by oldergal
	A lengthy update (Preview) Hi everyone! I have tried to write an update for days and I can't ever find enough time to do much. Working full time with 2 small children and taking are of life by myself has me running ragged! I continue to read and learn all of the information I can about codependency, being a wife of an alcoholic, and...	HisMrsWright	6	377	Dec 21, 2013 by slogan_jim
	feeling frustrated and sad (Preview) Okay, So I was expecting to hang out with my husband tonight. He has had a very busy day today. He has been getting a couple of guys to do some work on our house?clean up the yard, fix some things. He also got them to go pick up a piano he bought for me at a thrift store. A super sweet gesture, really nice piano, $...	sadsusie	7	534	Dec 21, 2013 by sadsusie
	Some News (Preview) I was surprised to get an email from my son today after weeks of silence. He wrote that he's still living in the rooming house and desperately needs to move out as guys are overdosing on heroin and smoking crack. He says he's looking for work - he will take just about anything at this point. As a last resort...	Rose50	8	445	Dec 21, 2013 by tiredtonite
	boundaries w son (Preview) Hi Everyone: It's been a while since I've posted but have gained so much ESH from reading all of your shares. I am upset tonight and having trouble getting past it. My oldest son (19) lives at home and is going to college locally. Mostly I love this. Tonight he asked to have some friends over. I said y...	yanksfan51	7	469	Dec 21, 2013 by bud
	Oh my!!! He called about visiting me (Preview) I wasn't gonna post this, but reconsidered bc some new folks might get a benefit from this bc I want to show just how MUCH this programme has worked for me...AND journalling out my "stuff" helps me move on as well.....I spoke w/my sponsor about this and she was like "OMG, you would in th...	neshema2	7	400	Dec 21, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	He is gone again!!! (Preview) My son woke up and walked off the ranch this morning.. He maybe out there in the cold.. Hungry .. And looking for his next fix. He is 4 hours away from me.. I can't live like this no more.. I can't save him .. I'm not god.. But I'm scared for him. I'm sick to my stomach and truly trying to realize that I can't help...	Gaby	15	536	Dec 21, 2013 by Melly1248
	"No" (Preview) Aloha family..."No" is a complete sentence right? This time acting it out is better than verbalizing it because it was my Grand Daughter who I love to pieces who told me or was she asking hmmmm "you have to talk to dad (my eldest son who has relapsed)". Loving her permits me to...	Jerry F	13	836	Dec 21, 2013 by el-cee
	My share on last nights meeting topics (expectations, Letting go of resentment, and acceptance) (Preview) I have been asked a few times if someone could have a copy of what I said in the meeting last night. I decided I would post it here, share it with everyone, and from here it can be copied by those who want to keep it for later reading. the topics were expectations, letting go of resentments, and acceptance...	John	14	582	Dec 20, 2013 by mm830
	Today.. (Preview) I put in a face to face meeting last night. I clearly understand that I have to take it minute by minute. I clearly understand that I have no control of my son choices. He and I are 4 hours away and I can not rescue him because not only am I killing him but I'm killing me.. I wake up this morning with prayer. I am h...	Gaby	5	464	Dec 20, 2013 by Mimi3
	I need some esh..?? (Preview) Most of you know my situation with my A son.. He is 4 hours away because he said he does not want to live the way he has been living. He asked for the help. I provided it again. Today I get a phone from the recovery ranch and said my son walked off the ranch. This was 4 pm. I about fainted. Mind you he is out in no whe...	Gaby	4	317	Dec 20, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'd say fast update .. (Preview) So never the case .. LOL .. . (Any references I make that seem offensive in terms of God or He .. .. this is the God of MY understanding, please feel free to insert the God of YOUR understanding into those statements as a whole I think they are universally true.) First off, big hugs to everyone who is strug...	SerenityRUS	5	352	Dec 20, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	What's under the slogans can be the same and feel the same... (Preview) One thing that's going on with me is that I'm realizing I'm still just as manipulative as always - I just know how to hide it under recovery slogans - sayings - and ideas. The things that I've 'learned' I'm just now using to still get what I want from people - and try to make them what I want them. What I have...	Tasha	4	358	Dec 20, 2013 by PP
	I'm feeling relieved but upset (Preview) Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...	Cathyinaz	11	597	Dec 20, 2013 by milkwood
	Don't know if this is good or bad lol. (Preview) Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...	Melly1248	8	578	Dec 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Being let down (Preview) Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...	Hope2000	5	521	Dec 19, 2013 by Jen61
	Update on my son... (Preview) So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...	Gaby	6	431	Dec 19, 2013 by Debilyn
	She Crushed Me (Preview) This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...	PatrickSean	10	482	Dec 19, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Not sure what to do or think (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...	ditto	8	414	Dec 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Fighting the overwhelming urge to engage in arguments with my ex A husband (Preview) It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...	TryingToChange	5	329	Dec 19, 2013 by TryingToChange
	Not sure how to deal with a co worker (Preview) HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...	Nellybelly	3	388	Dec 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Getting results from my addict son while I work on me…. (Preview) We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...	heythere	5	341	Dec 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I have no guilt no matter what my X says (Preview) Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...	Cathyinaz	28	1371	Dec 19, 2013 by pinkchip
	Feeling like a big fake! Need ESH!!! (Preview) I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...	Breakingfree	17	573	Dec 19, 2013 by hotrod
	Trying to Help out Boyfriend with Alcoholic Mother (Preview) My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...	brendastarr	2	295	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	coping with lies (Preview) Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...	Lyne	2	509	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	did I take advantage of him? (Preview) Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...	Hoot Nanny	3	445	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	when anger and guilt having a battle... (Preview) Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...	tortuga	6	375	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	Higher Power speaking here. (Preview) Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...	el-cee	7	261	Dec 18, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Life Lesson (Preview) This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...	wifeofalcoholic	5	273	Dec 18, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Seeking guidance and a sanity check - how to respond, if at all ?? (Preview) I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...	texas yankee	13	521	Dec 18, 2013 by texas yankee
	Failed my exam this morning (Preview) I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!	Breakingfree	11	466	Dec 18, 2013 by tortuga
	These Kids of ours!! (Preview) Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...	el-cee	5	293	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	My son was found. (Preview) Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...	Gaby	10	527	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	A Letter to my AD (Preview) I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...	Green Eyes	5	299	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	resentment, help. crazymaking…. (Preview) Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...	giraffe13	10	487	Dec 17, 2013 by PP
	Crawling back.... (Preview) Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...	Carla042	12	425	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Random pointless babble. (Preview) Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...	Melly1248	19	512	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Some of us in Alanon are also Codependent... (Preview) Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...	oldergal	5	342	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Having trouble with my son (Preview) Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks	mercedes1959	7	365	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	C2C (Preview) I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...	Cathyinaz	5	344	Dec 17, 2013 by el-cee
	AD Doesn't Want to Meet with Me Over the Holidays (Preview) So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...	Green Eyes	9	420	Dec 17, 2013 by mercedes1959
	The EGO and being called JUDGEMENTAL - ANY TAKERS? (Preview) I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...	breamanic665	9	2563	Dec 17, 2013 by abbyal
	LIFE W/O FAMILY ON THE HOLIDAY... (Preview) UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...	Hoot Nanny	2	249	Dec 17, 2013 by Tricia911
	Your Children (Preview) This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...	oldergal	7	356	Dec 17, 2013 by Tricia911
	A daughter sounded less rational (Preview) My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...	lgnutah	8	462	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Time??trust?! (Preview) Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible) I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas' God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave. But I've got p...	sweeetr	13	586	Dec 16, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	relationship with a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...	Jessp98559	7	765	Dec 16, 2013 by Tasha
	I Vented BIG TIME TO MY SON (Preview) His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...	Cathyinaz	10	473	Dec 16, 2013 by pinkchip
	Day 3... (Preview) Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...	Gaby	4	436	Dec 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Need some hugs or something (Preview) Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you. So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...	mm830	14	445	Dec 16, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Anti-alcohol. Another choice? (Preview) I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...	irukan	9	498	Dec 16, 2013 by abbyalana
	What a lovely time of the year this is!!!! (Preview) My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...	el-cee	9	417	Dec 16, 2013 by neshema2
	View of addiction from the inside (Preview) I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...	Mattie	8	477	Dec 16, 2013 by breamanic665
	Feeling Overwhelmed/lost (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...	slogan_jim	12	701	Dec 16, 2013 by mercedes1959
	How I am drowning myself (Preview) Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...	breamanic665	3	467	Dec 16, 2013 by breamanic665
	LOL! I feel like I need to post daily these days! (Preview) I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...	ilovedogs	13	404	Dec 16, 2013 by el-cee
	Awareness-Acceptance-Action...and Coping with Withdrawal from the A (Preview) So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...	tortuga	5	826	Dec 16, 2013 by tortuga
	I felt the support (Preview) Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox	Corgi2	4	221	Dec 15, 2013 by PP
	My son is MIA!!! It hurts.. (Preview) I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...	Gaby	14	465	Dec 15, 2013 by oldergal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.