Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...

PatrickSean · PatrickSean

This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...

ditto · ditto

Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...

Nellybelly · Nellybelly

HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...

heythere · heythere

We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...

brendastarr · brendastarr

My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...

tortuga · tortuga

Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...

Gaby · Gaby

Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...

Carla042 · Carla042

Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...

oldergal · oldergal

Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...

oldergal · oldergal

This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible) I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas' God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave. But I've got p...

Jessp98559 · Jessp98559

Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...

mm830 · mm830

Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you. So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...

irukan · irukan

I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...

el-cee · el-cee

My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...

Mattie · Mattie

I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...

tortuga · tortuga

So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox

Gaby · Gaby

I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Answered the phone. I knew it was her. When the phone rings and it is her, my whole body sort of slumps and I have to take a few moments to consider...do I really want to do this? Do I have enough to give today? Don't get me wrong. I care about A's mum. She has a loving heart and, unlike any other "mother in...

Jerry F · Jerry F

If anyone ever tries to tell me that we can't have fun when we want to I'm gonna tell them to "keep coming back". The meeting topic was Attitude which I will always show up for and then it was over and the food came out and then the "secret" by number gift exhange/swap and we got kno...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am at work...EVERYONE knows NOT to call me unless it is emergency.....My A brother (my close one) knows my days bc I tell him ea. Sunday, "these are my days....NO calls" I am on my boss's computer working on the G/L making sure accounts are "ok" and no adjustments needed and phon...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all The son is on another cycle of drinking or drugs so will this time when he either gets hurt or comes down hard and he starts calling will I stay on my side of the street this time. Last time was my mistake of going to the hospital when I really didn't need to. This is like starting again for t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, every day is not rosey. I guess today could be one of those days if I let it. I am really just beginning my day. Time is going so fast that it is almost scary & hard to bear. But, in recovery we take it a day at a time. I am not an expert at anything but there are some things I do well. I am searching for more b...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone....I am asking for some positive thoughts/prayers to be sent my way because I can't stop beating myself up. I am harder on myself than anyone else in my life. I am especially being hard on myself because I am very vulnerable right now as I go through a break up and an old qualifier is trying to w...

swood31 · swood31

For you that have read my past posts. My worst nightmare came true. My husband (34 years old) died suddenly in front of me on November 5th, 2013. I tried saving him & then the ambulance didn't make it in time. I had already called the ambulance earlier in the night when he started feeling really b...

Dotty2 · Dotty2

My son is coming up on 1 year clean and sober. I am suspecting an alcohol relapse. His behavior mimics old behavior. I detected a smell of what may be alcohol, and today his hands shook uncontrollably for several seconds. Ii know I am powerless, but I am filled with fear that it will escalate. He is on prob...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son left the SLE HOME yesterday morning.. I again went out to look for him why ?? Because I just can't seem to let go.. Yes I found him parked in front of a pond shop.. I pulled in asking I want the car back n he can live his life.. He said NO!! I told him your addiction is out of control he agrees then I said I'...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

The place I'm at now is strange. I feel pretty good but I don't know where God wants me. i mean, I kind of do but I kind of really don't know at all. I'm an Adult Child, Alanon AND an Alcoholic. I fit in everywhere but nowhere. It's weird. one thing I am experiencing is that I am at Step 1 in Alanon. I've been real...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Dear crazy neighbour. Thank-you for your unbelievably rude (and lengthy) note in my mailbox yesterday, and for the time you took to collect your patronising collection of pamphlets about "responsible pet ownership". I've never met you but I'm told that you are very advanced in age and p...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

What a very long week I have had. I allowed myself to become enmeshed in yet another situation that was not mine to take on. But, somehow I ended up smack in the middle of. Tues at 9AM a neighbor called and said the Sheriff was on the way to evict her. Not a huge surprise to me, she had not paid her mortgage in tw...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

A humble strategy to survive holiday gatherings. (1) Begin by considering what you have, as not the absolute worst thing to have. At least there is something to complain about when we have family.Think of children who survived the Holocaust who have no memories of their parents, or very few left...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm feeling relieved but upset (Preview) Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...	Cathyinaz	11	571	Dec 20, 2013 by milkwood
	Don't know if this is good or bad lol. (Preview) Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...	Melly1248	8	545	Dec 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Being let down (Preview) Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...	Hope2000	5	491	Dec 19, 2013 by Jen61
	Update on my son... (Preview) So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...	Gaby	6	404	Dec 19, 2013 by Debilyn
	She Crushed Me (Preview) This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...	PatrickSean	10	456	Dec 19, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Not sure what to do or think (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...	ditto	8	387	Dec 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Fighting the overwhelming urge to engage in arguments with my ex A husband (Preview) It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...	TryingToChange	5	284	Dec 19, 2013 by TryingToChange
	Not sure how to deal with a co worker (Preview) HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...	Nellybelly	3	357	Dec 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Getting results from my addict son while I work on me…. (Preview) We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...	heythere	5	312	Dec 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I have no guilt no matter what my X says (Preview) Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...	Cathyinaz	28	1326	Dec 19, 2013 by pinkchip
	Feeling like a big fake! Need ESH!!! (Preview) I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...	Breakingfree	17	543	Dec 19, 2013 by hotrod
	Trying to Help out Boyfriend with Alcoholic Mother (Preview) My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...	brendastarr	2	267	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	coping with lies (Preview) Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...	Lyne	2	479	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	did I take advantage of him? (Preview) Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...	Hoot Nanny	3	413	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	when anger and guilt having a battle... (Preview) Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...	tortuga	6	345	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	Higher Power speaking here. (Preview) Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...	el-cee	7	233	Dec 18, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Life Lesson (Preview) This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...	wifeofalcoholic	5	248	Dec 18, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Seeking guidance and a sanity check - how to respond, if at all ?? (Preview) I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...	texas yankee	13	484	Dec 18, 2013 by texas yankee
	Failed my exam this morning (Preview) I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!	Breakingfree	11	439	Dec 18, 2013 by tortuga
	These Kids of ours!! (Preview) Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...	el-cee	5	270	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	My son was found. (Preview) Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...	Gaby	10	499	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	A Letter to my AD (Preview) I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...	Green Eyes	5	268	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	resentment, help. crazymaking…. (Preview) Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...	giraffe13	10	452	Dec 17, 2013 by PP
	Crawling back.... (Preview) Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...	Carla042	12	390	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Random pointless babble. (Preview) Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...	Melly1248	19	481	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Some of us in Alanon are also Codependent... (Preview) Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...	oldergal	5	314	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Having trouble with my son (Preview) Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks	mercedes1959	7	339	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	C2C (Preview) I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...	Cathyinaz	5	315	Dec 17, 2013 by el-cee
	AD Doesn't Want to Meet with Me Over the Holidays (Preview) So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...	Green Eyes	9	390	Dec 17, 2013 by mercedes1959
	The EGO and being called JUDGEMENTAL - ANY TAKERS? (Preview) I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...	breamanic665	9	2431	Dec 17, 2013 by abbyal
	LIFE W/O FAMILY ON THE HOLIDAY... (Preview) UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...	Hoot Nanny	2	222	Dec 17, 2013 by Tricia911
	Your Children (Preview) This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...	oldergal	7	325	Dec 17, 2013 by Tricia911
	A daughter sounded less rational (Preview) My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...	lgnutah	8	435	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Time??trust?! (Preview) Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible) I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas' God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave. But I've got p...	sweeetr	13	542	Dec 16, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	relationship with a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...	Jessp98559	7	734	Dec 16, 2013 by Tasha
	I Vented BIG TIME TO MY SON (Preview) His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...	Cathyinaz	10	442	Dec 16, 2013 by pinkchip
	Day 3... (Preview) Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...	Gaby	4	410	Dec 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Need some hugs or something (Preview) Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you. So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...	mm830	14	419	Dec 16, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Anti-alcohol. Another choice? (Preview) I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...	irukan	9	466	Dec 16, 2013 by abbyalana
	What a lovely time of the year this is!!!! (Preview) My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...	el-cee	9	383	Dec 16, 2013 by neshema2
	View of addiction from the inside (Preview) I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...	Mattie	8	447	Dec 16, 2013 by breamanic665
	Feeling Overwhelmed/lost (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...	slogan_jim	12	673	Dec 16, 2013 by mercedes1959
	How I am drowning myself (Preview) Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...	breamanic665	3	429	Dec 16, 2013 by breamanic665
	LOL! I feel like I need to post daily these days! (Preview) I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...	ilovedogs	13	365	Dec 16, 2013 by el-cee
	Awareness-Acceptance-Action...and Coping with Withdrawal from the A (Preview) So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...	tortuga	5	794	Dec 16, 2013 by tortuga
	I felt the support (Preview) Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox	Corgi2	4	196	Dec 15, 2013 by PP
	My son is MIA!!! It hurts.. (Preview) I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...	Gaby	14	433	Dec 15, 2013 by oldergal
	Talking to the A's mum (Preview) Answered the phone. I knew it was her. When the phone rings and it is her, my whole body sort of slumps and I have to take a few moments to consider...do I really want to do this? Do I have enough to give today? Don't get me wrong. I care about A's mum. She has a loving heart and, unlike any other "mother in...	Melly1248	18	512	Dec 15, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Super Saturday Al-Anon Christmas Party. (Preview) If anyone ever tries to tell me that we can't have fun when we want to I'm gonna tell them to "keep coming back". The meeting topic was Attitude which I will always show up for and then it was over and the food came out and then the "secret" by number gift exhange/swap and we got kno...	Jerry F	6	426	Dec 15, 2013 by hotrod
	Oh no!!! Hes at it again (Preview) I am at work...EVERYONE knows NOT to call me unless it is emergency.....My A brother (my close one) knows my days bc I tell him ea. Sunday, "these are my days....NO calls" I am on my boss's computer working on the G/L making sure accounts are "ok" and no adjustments needed and phon...	neshema2	6	376	Dec 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Another cycle (Preview) Good Morning all The son is on another cycle of drinking or drugs so will this time when he either gets hurt or comes down hard and he starts calling will I stay on my side of the street this time. Last time was my mistake of going to the hospital when I really didn't need to. This is like starting again for t...	Cathyinaz	5	283	Dec 15, 2013 by hotrod
	every day is not rosey (Preview) So, every day is not rosey. I guess today could be one of those days if I let it. I am really just beginning my day. Time is going so fast that it is almost scary & hard to bear. But, in recovery we take it a day at a time. I am not an expert at anything but there are some things I do well. I am searching for more b...	Hoot Nanny	4	278	Dec 15, 2013 by Melly1248
	Asking for prayers.... (Preview) Hi everyone....I am asking for some positive thoughts/prayers to be sent my way because I can't stop beating myself up. I am harder on myself than anyone else in my life. I am especially being hard on myself because I am very vulnerable right now as I go through a break up and an old qualifier is trying to w...	Corgi2	6	235	Dec 15, 2013 by mm830
	My husband died (Preview) For you that have read my past posts. My worst nightmare came true. My husband (34 years old) died suddenly in front of me on November 5th, 2013. I tried saving him & then the ambulance didn't make it in time. I had already called the ambulance earlier in the night when he started feeling really b...	swood31	33	1062	Dec 15, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Not In Control And So Sad (Preview) My son is coming up on 1 year clean and sober. I am suspecting an alcohol relapse. His behavior mimics old behavior. I detected a smell of what may be alcohol, and today his hands shook uncontrollably for several seconds. Ii know I am powerless, but I am filled with fear that it will escalate. He is on prob...	Dotty2	9	519	Dec 15, 2013 by afglin
	This is a horrible feeling... (Preview) So my son left the SLE HOME yesterday morning.. I again went out to look for him why ?? Because I just can't seem to let go.. Yes I found him parked in front of a pond shop.. I pulled in asking I want the car back n he can live his life.. He said NO!! I told him your addiction is out of control he agrees then I said I'...	Gaby	8	455	Dec 15, 2013 by el-cee
	Waiting for God to reveal more (Preview) The place I'm at now is strange. I feel pretty good but I don't know where God wants me. i mean, I kind of do but I kind of really don't know at all. I'm an Adult Child, Alanon AND an Alcoholic. I fit in everywhere but nowhere. It's weird. one thing I am experiencing is that I am at Step 1 in Alanon. I've been real...	WorkingThroughIt	6	485	Dec 14, 2013 by Jerry F
	Thanks, neighbour! (Preview) Dear crazy neighbour. Thank-you for your unbelievably rude (and lengthy) note in my mailbox yesterday, and for the time you took to collect your patronising collection of pamphlets about "responsible pet ownership". I've never met you but I'm told that you are very advanced in age and p...	Melly1248	18	476	Dec 14, 2013 by sadsusie
	A look back on my week and when I did and did not use my Al-Anon principles! (Preview) What a very long week I have had. I allowed myself to become enmeshed in yet another situation that was not mine to take on. But, somehow I ended up smack in the middle of. Tues at 9AM a neighbor called and said the Sheriff was on the way to evict her. Not a huge surprise to me, she had not paid her mortgage in tw...	Tricia911	6	382	Dec 14, 2013 by el-cee
	My strategy for surviving the holidays. (Preview) A humble strategy to survive holiday gatherings. (1) Begin by considering what you have, as not the absolute worst thing to have. At least there is something to complain about when we have family.Think of children who survived the Holocaust who have no memories of their parents, or very few left...	Tricia911	3	859	Dec 14, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.