The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today.....
I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was looking for someone who would always be there
for me but would not impose on me very much. Looking back, it's almost as if I were looking for a pet rather than a human being. Naturally, this outlook put a strain on my relationships.
In Al-anon I have learned there is a difference between what I expect and what I need. No one person can be all things to me.
Once again I'm faced with examining my own attitudes. What do I expect, and is that expectation realistic? Do I respect other people's individuality---or only the parts that suit my fancy? Do I appreciate what I do receive?
TODAY'S REMINDER
Trying to change other people is futile, foolish, and certainly not loving. Today, instead of assuming that they are the problem, I can look at myself and see what needs changing within.
" The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fix our own image" Thomas Merton
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thanks Catherine I just finished the reading for today and it also speaks to allowing others to be who they are..
C2C seemed to connect with the thoughts in the ODAT. The simple sentence that states: "In order to stop the vicious cycle of unhappiness we must learn new ways of relating" . For me this has so many meanings and what I am learning here.
ODAT reminded me that I can start a new day by leaving the past in the past, I can remember knowing that I had" to erase the blackboard of the past" and trust that HP would show me the lessons of the past so that I could begin my new day as a new beginning.. I believe I have learned many of the lessons of the past and of my youth, and know truly embrace the statement that "Life must be lived going forward but understood in retrospect" That is what program is all about.
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 17th of December 2013 11:08:45 AM
I love my C2C book and read it daily. Often I feel the reading is speaking directly to me. What you wrote above is so true. I can only change myself. I try to practice "acceptance" and sometimes I'm good at it and sometimes need more work! Looking at myself is harder that looking at others, but alanon is teaching me to do that. Thanks Cathyinez, Lyne
Oh boy, did I need to read this! I'm thinking of getting it tattooed
Thank you.
'I was looking for someone who would always be there for me but would not impose on me very much. Looking back, it's almost as if I were looking for a pet rather than a human being. Naturally, this outlook put a strain on my relationships.'
Great readings, I love my books, you should see the state of them, I dont go out without at least one of them so they are very tatty but well loved and well used. Milkwood I have also thought of getting a tattoo with one of our slogans just in case I forget. I was thinking 'Let it begin with me' or 'This too shall Pass' What do you think?x
