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Step 8
(Preview)
Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Please join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56034097/alanon-step-8/
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hotrod
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1
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683
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ABF's big decision.
(Preview)
ABF came home tonight in a great mood. "Now I know you might not believe this" he says. "But I've come to a big decision". He sounded very serious. I was all ears and actually a little bit worried. "As of midnight, on New Years Eve, I'm not going to drink or smoke anymore&qu...
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Melly1248
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16
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467
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
(Preview)
To all my friends at MIP, I hope 2014 is the best year ever.
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mercedes1959
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6
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194
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Might Actually be Getting It
(Preview)
I am very hopeful today, despite my life repeating the same pattern the usual weekend breakup with the A and other problems I seem to be stuck in. Cathy in AZ said to me last week that things would change when I started to change. So after doing alot of thinking and praying, today I am going to take the bull b...
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mm830
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9
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249
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REELING! Completely abandoned reality - is this common? Confused/Scared, really need some comfort
(Preview)
After having set up going to christmas with my family, a great weekend, lots of love and affection, then walking off right as im fixing dinner Sunday, my A calls me yesterday and asks me if Im sitting down. I say I am. He blind sides me - we cant be together anymore because he is a monster and a terrible pers...
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breamanic665
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16
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499
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All I Want For Christmas Is.........
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I have been gone a Long time. I didn't realize how long until I read my messages. I am an only child and have been the parent to my parents for some time. This past year plus has been extra tough. My Father, my Hero, passed away 3 weeks ago. Two days before my birthday. Funeral two days af...
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Grace7
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7
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390
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Christmas cheer or not?
(Preview)
I have been having a bout w/ the fact that I don't have the feeling for the holiday that I wish I had. I have been listening to holiday music for about a month now. I even read that listening to the music is healthy. I know that I will change my tune after the weekend. I feel that time will change things. By the w...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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177
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Tired of All the Pain!
(Preview)
I don't know how A Person Can Cram so Many Blessings & Nightmares into the Same Week, But I Have Managed it! The Disease of Addiction ALWAYS seems to Hit in my Family! It is An Endless Cycle that just Keeps on Coming! My Grandchildren are Heartbroken, and THEY had to lay witness to the Nightmare of the...
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Jozie
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4
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511
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Am I managing his behavior by my not drinking?
(Preview)
When AH and I met, it was at a bar. As many ppl in their 20's ish age group do, we started going out on dates ordering dinners and wine, drinking at home, going out to bars, drinking at friends parties, throwing our own parties, etc. Nothing too crazy but all get-togethers would involve booze. We did th...
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gingerfizz
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9
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387
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Guilting Dad
(Preview)
I'm hoping someone may have some es&h to offer concerning a child of a sober alcoholic trying to parent their parent. My abf and I have been encountering some controlling behaviors on his eldest daughter's part. I have done a very good job of staying out of it but wish there was a response that wou...
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tiredtonite
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6
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359
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wish it were a different day...
(Preview)
Yeah, I only have today. But, I wish it were a different day...I have no choice but live this one. It is winter solstice in North America today. I don't know exactly what day it is all over the world. I happen to be remembering the day my dad died...but only for a little while. I will move on to other things. L...
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Hoot Nanny
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7
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412
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Christmas party..
(Preview)
The night went well. A lot of my close friends know how I am feeling and what I am going through. I have such supportive people in my life.. I had fun and for a minute just put aside what I was going through. I'm up early and still no word. I say my serenity prayer and I know I am powerless and I know that my son had...
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Gaby
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12
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468
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hard time despite all christmas cheer
(Preview)
not sure where to begin or what to say. its been a rough week. im trying to get in the christmas spirit yetvi just cant. i ususlly love the lights and the anticipation of the gifts and all, but thus year i.just feel blah. my ah has been drinking more the past two weeks and really miserable. all we have done is...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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410
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When are you prepared?
(Preview)
I've seen posts of people saying they were not prepared to leave abusive, alcoholic or just alcoholic partners. I wanted to add my personal experience without telling folks to ditch their partners. There is a difference between being ready or capable of doing what is necessary or feel you may want t...
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pinkchip
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31
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594
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Help!!!!
(Preview)
how or what do i do to find my last post??ive lost it and i been flipping through all the pages and nothing,i cant find nothing,need help please if anybody here knows how to tell me how to get to my posts.ty looking up
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lookingup
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3
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242
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saddened
(Preview)
here I am back here shoulda and should stay here but I always allow life to get me off track.my a b/f is now renting a room from me we are just friends been working out though he works 7 days a week 12 hour days so that's ok too,he don't drink as much if any I can tell if he has drank anything I set my bounderies wit...
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lookingup
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3
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342
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Sunday night meeting topics tonight are boundaries, letting go of martyrdom and taking care of ourselves during the hol
(Preview)
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mercedes1959
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2
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174
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I'm Done...
(Preview)
That's what A said to me Thursday, plus some lather rinse repeat of the usual. I hung up, and haven't made any attempt to contact since. Yesterday I made a decision that this belongs to my HP to sort out now, not me. One thing I am struggling with is his mother invited us to Christmas with them, we have share...
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mm830
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8
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424
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Scared, trying to make sure I'm in HP's will
(Preview)
I'm still going along with plans to find a rental. It's harder than I thought, mainly because of the dog but also because I need to find something that I think will 'fit' us. I'm not looking for anything fancy but just something practical and it's amazing how expensive some rentals are! I'm feeling di...
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ilovedogs
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8
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377
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Triggers for the A in our life
(Preview)
I have started reading about what triggers an A to start drinking again once they have stopped for a period of time. Any insight on this? Thanks, Jenny
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Jen61
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9
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349
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just for today I'm okay
(Preview)
Its been a long time since I've been on this site a lot has happened. My husband has been in full relapse mode for many months. At first it was a lot if lies and disappearances. Then one day he was so drunk he beat me. I stayed after that incident and I was very depressed I only left house to go to work. This past...
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texasgal
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9
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486
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I found someone I can poor all my love into and actually fix.....
(Preview)
Myself! I now have a break off from school for one whole month and I am going to eat healthy and work out and just enjoy myself and my friends and life. There were not enough people to take a super accelerated class for the January term class I needed to stay in the nursing program next semester. I made peace...
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Breakingfree
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11
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288
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Been awhile.. hello
(Preview)
HI all! I have not been on in a few weeks. My home computer is about shot and it is hard at work at times. Things have been going really well and to be honest, I start reading posts and some of the negative or sad posts get me down when I am feeling happy. I still love it here and it still helps me a lot just need a...
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Iwantthingsback
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7
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315
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serenity
(Preview)
Hi everyone, the topic at our meeting today was serenity. An old timer was sitting next to me as I shared about the first convention I attended Still very busy in my head still very very ill no serenity. I was rushing around and this old timer took hold of my hand and said very calmly, quietly, Tracy you kn...
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Tracy
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4
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316
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Trying to Help out Boyfriend with Alcoholic Mother
(Preview)
My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...
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brendastarr
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6
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234
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MIP Al-Anon Group Meeting Chairpersons and Message Board Monitors Needed.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! Our online Al-Anon group holds scheduled meetings every day of the week. 9am Monday - Friday 10am Saturday & Sunday 9pm Monday - Saturday 7pm Sunday. We have three chairperson slots open at this time. We would like to get these filled by currently active Al-Anon members with a mini...
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John
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1
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420
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I have to fake it till I make it..
(Preview)
I have prayed and surrendered to where I can't help my son. I have heard nothing as of right now. I know he knows to call me even collect to tell me that he is ok. I know there are churches or homeless shelters he can go to.. But I have to think of my family I have to take care of especially my 8 year old daughters t...
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Gaby
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7
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468
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Counting my blessings!!
(Preview)
Lots is right in my world these past couple of days. I am choosing to believe that because I kept myself calm and quiet (with the exception of whinging on here a bit) and reminded myself that "this too shall pass", my world has righted itself quickly and I have attracted some good karma. So I'l...
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Melly1248
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9
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531
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Al-Anon has given me choices.
(Preview)
Hey everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My alcoholic father just called and said he wanted to take me out to dinner tonight. In theory that sounds great and should be a good time. He was sober and seems like he's been for a few days (he also called Thursday to say hi and was f...
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slogan_jim
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3
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219
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24 years ago today....
(Preview)
I surrendered to the process of recovery and started this amazing journey. Thank you for trudging the road of happy destiny with me. John
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John
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10
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389
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I have heard nothing and the guilt is in me..
(Preview)
My son has not gone back to the ranch.. Pastor now says he is not allowed back on the ranch. That he has consequences to deal with. He is out in a different state and I feel guilty. I am a mess. Yes I do attend ala-non meetings. I need to find me a new Sponser.. I have a lot of family and friends support.. But this...
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Gaby
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12
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445
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A lengthy update
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I have tried to write an update for days and I can't ever find enough time to do much. Working full time with 2 small children and taking are of life by myself has me running ragged! I continue to read and learn all of the information I can about codependency, being a wife of an alcoholic, and...
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HisMrsWright
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6
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333
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feeling frustrated and sad
(Preview)
Okay, So I was expecting to hang out with my husband tonight. He has had a very busy day today. He has been getting a couple of guys to do some work on our house?clean up the yard, fix some things. He also got them to go pick up a piano he bought for me at a thrift store. A super sweet gesture, really nice piano, $...
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sadsusie
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7
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424
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Some News
(Preview)
I was surprised to get an email from my son today after weeks of silence. He wrote that he's still living in the rooming house and desperately needs to move out as guys are overdosing on heroin and smoking crack. He says he's looking for work - he will take just about anything at this point. As a last resort...
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Rose50
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8
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408
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boundaries w son
(Preview)
Hi Everyone: It's been a while since I've posted but have gained so much ESH from reading all of your shares. I am upset tonight and having trouble getting past it. My oldest son (19) lives at home and is going to college locally. Mostly I love this. Tonight he asked to have some friends over. I said y...
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yanksfan51
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7
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421
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Oh my!!! He called about visiting me
(Preview)
I wasn't gonna post this, but reconsidered bc some new folks might get a benefit from this bc I want to show just how MUCH this programme has worked for me...AND journalling out my "stuff" helps me move on as well.....I spoke w/my sponsor about this and she was like "OMG, you would in th...
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neshema2
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7
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370
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He is gone again!!!
(Preview)
My son woke up and walked off the ranch this morning.. He maybe out there in the cold.. Hungry .. And looking for his next fix. He is 4 hours away from me.. I can't live like this no more.. I can't save him .. I'm not god.. But I'm scared for him. I'm sick to my stomach and truly trying to realize that I can't help...
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Gaby
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15
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491
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"No"
(Preview)
Aloha family..."No" is a complete sentence right? This time acting it out is better than verbalizing it because it was my Grand Daughter who I love to pieces who told me or was she asking hmmmm "you have to talk to dad (my eldest son who has relapsed)". Loving her permits me to...
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Jerry F
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13
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761
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My share on last nights meeting topics (expectations, Letting go of resentment, and acceptance)
(Preview)
I have been asked a few times if someone could have a copy of what I said in the meeting last night. I decided I would post it here, share it with everyone, and from here it can be copied by those who want to keep it for later reading. the topics were expectations, letting go of resentments, and acceptance...
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John
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14
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539
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Today..
(Preview)
I put in a face to face meeting last night. I clearly understand that I have to take it minute by minute. I clearly understand that I have no control of my son choices. He and I are 4 hours away and I can not rescue him because not only am I killing him but I'm killing me.. I wake up this morning with prayer. I am h...
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Gaby
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5
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406
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I need some esh..??
(Preview)
Most of you know my situation with my A son.. He is 4 hours away because he said he does not want to live the way he has been living. He asked for the help. I provided it again. Today I get a phone from the recovery ranch and said my son walked off the ranch. This was 4 pm. I about fainted. Mind you he is out in no whe...
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Gaby
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4
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278
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I'd say fast update ..
(Preview)
So never the case .. LOL .. . (Any references I make that seem offensive in terms of God or He .. .. this is the God of MY understanding, please feel free to insert the God of YOUR understanding into those statements as a whole I think they are universally true.) First off, big hugs to everyone who is strug...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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307
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What's under the slogans can be the same and feel the same...
(Preview)
One thing that's going on with me is that I'm realizing I'm still just as manipulative as always - I just know how to hide it under recovery slogans - sayings - and ideas. The things that I've 'learned' I'm just now using to still get what I want from people - and try to make them what I want them. What I have...
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Tasha
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4
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310
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I'm feeling relieved but upset
(Preview)
Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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554
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Don't know if this is good or bad lol.
(Preview)
Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...
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Melly1248
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8
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511
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Being let down
(Preview)
Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...
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Hope2000
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5
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470
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Update on my son...
(Preview)
So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...
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Gaby
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6
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389
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She Crushed Me
(Preview)
This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...
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PatrickSean
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10
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440
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Not sure what to do or think
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...
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ditto
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8
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375
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Fighting the overwhelming urge to engage in arguments with my ex A husband
(Preview)
It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...
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TryingToChange
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5
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266
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Not sure how to deal with a co worker
(Preview)
HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...
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Nellybelly
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3
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340
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Getting results from my addict son while I work on me….
(Preview)
We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...
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heythere
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5
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296
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I have no guilt no matter what my X says
(Preview)
Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...
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Cathyinaz
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28
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1295
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Feeling like a big fake! Need ESH!!!
(Preview)
I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...
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Breakingfree
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17
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527
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Trying to Help out Boyfriend with Alcoholic Mother
(Preview)
My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...
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brendastarr
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2
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251
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coping with lies
(Preview)
Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...
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Lyne
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2
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461
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did I take advantage of him?
(Preview)
Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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399
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when anger and guilt having a battle...
(Preview)
Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...
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tortuga
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6
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324
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Higher Power speaking here.
(Preview)
Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...
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el-cee
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7
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217
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Life Lesson
(Preview)
This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict.
And this is what addicts do.
You cannot and will not change my behavior.
You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I
think...
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wifeofalcoholic
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5
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231
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