Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I posted this dilemma on another support board, too, but I wanted to share here. I have been working on determining the difference between my will and discovering God's will for me. I had recently decided to separate from my AH. I am now backing away from that decision for reasons that I can't truly pin...

imom · imom

It has been months and months since I have been here. Things got very, very bad for my family and me and then they got better. Since things got better, I forgot to keep taking care of myself through al-anon. I have found myself recently being constantly suspicious and playing detective (old habits a...

Donna Lee · Donna Lee

Long story short, I called 911 on December 3 in order to enter my home after a disturbing call from my A. I had been staying at my mother's since June helping watch her and finding an assisted living place for her with my sister and preparing her house for sale. I entered the home with police and an ambula...

John · John

Hi everyone, Just throwing this out there, into the four winds tonight. I got a call this afternoon from my son, from jail. As some of you already know, this time last year (the same week before Christmas), I bailed him out of jail and he jumped the bond and ran three days later. I had to go through the pr...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hi all. A new and frightening topic. My ex A has dementia and alcoholic wet brain, along with black outs. He is totally unstable. A former serviceman as well with PTSD. He has a firearm and ammo. He is currently trying to get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. We haven't been together in years....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm sitting here at work getting ready to go home and I'm thinking about my son. Now this is nuts... I wonder if he's OK at his dads Is he bored Is he getting his business taken care of Is he getting along with his dad because they can butt heads I bet he's really anxious and wants a drink so bad he's going to d...

tortuga · tortuga

... and it's not easy. I am tending again to become invisible, an i'm making wrong choices. I am not taking care of myself as I should, for I allow A to have contact with me again. Because I want to deal with things in a civilized and human way. Because I'm not a robot and can't switch in a month just like that f...

el-cee · el-cee

My part of the world has saw rain and grey skies every day for what seems like weeks now, today though its dry and bright, no blue in the sky mind you but a huge difference. Everything seems clearer. The weather makes me think of nature and the part my higher power plays for me. I mean its like the daily remin...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

The holidays mean a busier work schedule, as well as having family & friends over. What has happened is that I haven't been even to my online meetings, let alone face to face. Well, I tried tonight to go to a face to face, but there was no one there. I haven't been to it before, so not sure if it still meet...

Oats · Oats

Hi all. I am new to this forum. I am truly struggling today with my alcoholic son. He has been drinking for several weeks, lies in bed all day and is deeply depressed. His health is suffering and he is extremely thin. He lives alone, so I constantly battle with the need to drive to his place to see if he i...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My son called today, he does not feel good. He wanted to go to the hospital. Everything he described sounds like anxiety panic attacks. I asked him to ride it Out. He has just been to the clinic 2 days before with fluid in his lungs. They gave him some shots and antibiotics. He was so panicked today and want...

neshema2 · neshema2

I put this on my facebook in the hopes that my brother will see it and get the message to this woman that she needs to BACK off and leave me alone what do you guys think????? I am gonna think...pray.....think again and ask for esh BEFORE i do anything....maybe i can get the phone company to help me, I don't k...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Other than me back bothering a bit, I am feeling pretty healthy today. I guess the massage therapist worked a little too hard on my back. I won't be seeing her until next year...hee hee! I have a sense of who I really am today. I know now that I am the best I can be. I have to remember to not put myself down. I rea...

el-cee · el-cee

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope this day is peaceful for everyone. The Hope for Today book has a lovely reading to help get your day started.x

Tricia911 · Tricia911

If you don't want to listen to a rant just close this now. I will understand completely I feel like I have fallen into a vat of super negatively. I am taking care of my mother while she is in the hospital. She is thee most negative person I have ever met in my entire life. She is ACOA and has some psych issues....

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

I was unable to get to my face to face meeting because whatever my daughter had on Christmas Eve I has by Christmas night and I was still running a fever come Thursday. That was not the gift I wanted to give my new friends lol! I was going to ask about finding a sponsor. I dug out the phone list was going to se...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

in my area the one meeting a week, is a bit unhealthy and a few people from here go 45 minutes away to a different great meeting that I love also. I am so busy that it just seems crazy that we don't have one in our bigger area and it might draw in more people (build it and they will come) at least that is what I hope...

mongowal · mongowal

My AH has been gone for 3 months now. His promise to get help has not happened due to every excuse he could come up with. I finally asked him in all seriousness if he wanted a divorce. I thought he would jump at the chance as he was the one who left us. He asked why I was asking that question. I told him he hasn't g...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My son came to pick me up today. I was going to take him to eat. Of course that was sorta a dumb idea. One place open, he does not like crowds, standing in line etc. So before we left the parking lot, we helped this gal and her teen girl who was rolling her eyes soooo embarrassed, jump her car. Guess it was where...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

overall it went good, I spent a few days around my exAh and his parents and I made the best of it. I went to a meeting with my old al-anon home group as soon as I arrived into town and it set me up to be strong in my program while spending Christmas with my children and ex family, who is currently dry, but not wor...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My grandson is a freshman in high school. His life hasn't been a walk in the park. He has all sorts of reasons to feel sorry for himself, but he doesn't. He just keeps his head down and keeps going despite various things that aren't to his liking. I stayed with both my daughter and my grandson Christma...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This Christmas morning was incredible. My partner surprised me by actually having bought the wedding bands we liked. He put mine in my stocking. It was wonderful. ..very emotional. Then I went to work. Many of the client were down. Some were on the verge of leaving AMA. They all have lots of issues and p...

Divedet · Divedet

Hello all. My first post here, after a couple weeks of trolling. I've been going through some personal turmoil, which seems to be magnified by the Holiday Season, but it's comforting to have another tool in the tool box to deal with life. I participated in my first online/chatroom meeting today, a...

mm830 · mm830

I have been feeling better despite everything since I discovered this group, and have been trying to stay connected with what HP wants for me, not what I want for me. I am not always there just more than it was, which I am so grateful for. So one thing that has surfaced and I plan on working on more is respect...

lookingup · lookingup

just got through talking to my daughter on skype ,talked about them getting out of military and she seems to think there no security for them here in the states,no jobs,no good schools,no nothings ,Ha i said she was all wrong that she and her little ones and hubby neede to just stay where their at ,englan...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well it 300am. i last saw my ah at 800am whn he left for work. sure he called a few times. . the last whn our daughter called him at 9pm to see if he was coming home. nope. . was at a buddies. spoke to me and said i wont be late lets plan to leave (for a trip i encouraged) by 930. yup. that should work well. he just dra...

Gaby · Gaby

I have not heard from my son. But I have said to myself.. I cannot help him.. He had to want it!!! I'm saying the serenity prayer every minute. I think about how much my daughter needs me!! I last told my son I live him and will be here for him when he is healthy and sober.. I told him I have lots if faith in god.. N...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Hope all of the family had a wonderful Christmas...ours was nice and then very special. My wife loves to bring me her presents (the ones she gets for me) and then sits and smiles with glee and the command "Okay...stop what you're doing and open these". I have to laugh cause she gets happy...

neshema2 · neshema2

should have put this here.... Thank all of you for stepping up and giving me some great input thus far i have done the following..... called my sponsor who is a ret. police detective from Seattle....she left the force when she and her husb. were working in robbery/homicide division and he got shot to de...

tweety23 · tweety23

I don't mean this in a mean way but I absolutely love the day after Christmas! Because me and my kids get together with family for leftovers lunch without AH and AFIL (is that an acronym?? It is now...) It's like a Do-over. Christmas without the drama. Blessings to all.. I don't post a lot but your share...

pixie · pixie

Yesterday he started drinking around 8:30 am and stopped when he fell asleep or passed out.I never can tell.But when all was said and done he'd had 13-14 pints of beer at least.Today he's already up to 3 pints at least and it's only 9:30.So today isn't going to be any different then any other day he's not a...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Whilst walking the dog today, we passed the library and after reading a sign, my daughter started musing over the word "committee". She babbled about it all the way home and then asked me "what committees can you think of?" and I started to laugh and said "well, it's a bit na...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

im not sure posting will help me right now but i know not what else to do. ive been emailing my sponsor and lisyening to her wisdom yet i remain paralyzed. my relationship with my active ah has just been miserable this month. its always a bad time for him. . details too much to mention and thn all i want is som...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi there How do people tackle this subject? The A in my life is my partner (we're not married but good as, been together 8 years, lived together 7 have a 6 year old daughter). I only discovered she was an A a few years ago and it's been a real tough slog. If it wasn't for our daughter I would have walked a long t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will try not to make this post too long...It worked! I wasn't really depressed this Christmas. I didn't get many calls except from my cousin on the answering machine at home. I didn't get to talk to her later. I didn't talk to my mother. That's OK. I spent the day w/ my friends who invited me to dinner. I mi...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

The "disappearances" im sure so many of you have dealt with. The cycles, and circles that have been repeated over and over again. This time, it was a break up on Tuesday, followed by an obsessive amount of calls, very loving conversations, followed by making plans with me, THEN BREAKING TH...

Tasha · Tasha

Setting Boundaries The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care of our self. Being forced to learn how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own our self, of learning to respect ourselves, of learning to love ourselves. If we never have to set a boundary, then we will never get in touch wit...

Jerry F · Jerry F

...the Big Island of Hawaii anchored in the Pacific Ocean. Mele Kalikimaka e Hauoli Makahiki Ho...Of course there's no fooling any of you because you know that is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year said from the center of my spirit with love. I have everything I need with my peace of mind and sereni...

texas yankee · texas yankee

The old me, without AlAnon, would have gone ballistic without a call from my recovering addict on Christmas Day - but thanks to the program, I was able to let it go and remind myself that WHY he didn't call is none of my business and that (hopefully) he's trying to work out his issues in his own way in his own...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

So I was listening to a CD my mom had in her car, driving home from Christmas with my dad, who is a recovering A. This was the first good christmas I ever remember with my dad, and I was thankful on my travels. If you have read any of my posts, I haven't spoken about my dad before, but only of my ABF. At any rate, i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well Merry Christmas to everyone .. the kids and I scooted down to McD's down the road to catch some internet tonight and see what was shaking .. it's pretty quiet to say the least. The kids are settled with their Christmas gifts and hanging out. We had a really nice Christmas, officially the best Chri...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

at my punishing family for making sure I was not included at Christmas today. i can't even begin to tell you how horrid their psychological abuse has been over the past two years. It is so disturbing it's too hard to hear. i'm also feeling that I am hurting everyone by giving them someone to blame. This do...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

That was as close to a perfect Christmas as it gets. On Christmas Eve, I travelled alone to my mums. A year ago I would have cried all the way there, knowing that I was going to Christmas without ABF. This time I was in a great mood. I took photos out the train window all the way there, called every family memb...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, Christmas was beautiful .. it was spent divided however because of the family disease .. My mother is dying and I'm watching family come together (the girls) .. and watching the isolation, the defects take them over .. (no judgments, criticisms, i have my own) .. I spent 13 years with an addict an...

nmike · nmike

We had an Alanon speaker last week at a round-up. He read the "Alanon Promises". I thought that he was reading from "Survival to Recovery". Does anyone know where the "Alanon Promises" are? Thanks so much, Nancy -- Edited by nmike at 23:04, 2008-09-21

Gaby · Gaby

Today I got up and celebrated with family. It was hard. After last night and my son saying he is suicidal.. And manipulated me the way he did. I'm am physically and emotionally sick. He told me that he won't call me no more. I told him I love him and to please think about his daughter. I can not stop him from do...

pixie · pixie

But I'll be glad when the holidays are over and things are back to normal.I haven't been on in a long time and guess I just need to vent.My husband the alcoholic is off work for the holidays.Every day he's off work he drinks more.I started playing this little game where I count the beer in the fridge at nigh...

Jen61 · Jen61

It has been an interesting eight years for me and my A. I was in denial for a long time that he really had a problem. I wanted to fix it and really thought I could. I did start going to Al-Anon meetings almost 8 years ago which I do think saved my life and sanity. I have completed step 1 and have two sponsors...

Gaby · Gaby

It's hard .. my son found his way home. He again said he wants to go to the SLE.. So I met up with him to take him and he decided to go to the Salvation Army... Me knowing he may leave.. He said he wants help and he will get it there. This whole time I know I again was manipulated. I told him I love him and I won't lose...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I think yesterday I talked about my AA Sponsor. It's good to have him but it's not enough. I really need to be working with a woman - and one in Alanon. More than anything else I'm Alanon qualified. Booze was a long-ago tossed out symptom of my Alanon issues. for the last few weeks I've been reading 10th Ste...

trelani · trelani

Can't believe it has been 17 plus years with my alky. Ask myself over and over why I am still here. Can't honestly say I love him. I care, but don't have love any longer..too many harsh words, pounding on locked doors, name calling, cuss words, filthy angry words and threats. He has been in hospital at lea...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Merry Christmas! A year ago I would've never thought I would be spending Christmas alone with just my daughter. My husband is still in rehab. He has called me several times and sounds positive. I first had doubts but the past week and a half I have been reading more and more on codependency and alcoholis...

Aloha · Aloha

Not so long ago, during this time of the year, I used to think that the amount of gifts I received from others was a tell tale sign of how loved and appreciated I was. The less gifts I received, the less I was appreciated and the lower my self-esteem dropped. This year has been a really, REALLY rough year for...

Dotty2 · Dotty2

I posted about 9 days ago that I was concerned my son had started drinking again after close to a year recovery. Two days ago I discovered a $100 bill was missing from my purse. Tonight I am missing lottery tickets that were gifts. I went into my son's room and found several of my gift cards that I had rounde...

Aloha · Aloha

I think it's funny, sometimes, when I catch myself and call myself on my wacky thinking. This morning while driving in to work today, my head was taking me on this imaginary "what if" trip. I won't bother with details, because it's all imagined stuff anyhow, but my mind was playing out these...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yes, today is Christmas eve! I am not going to be on here tomorrow. The stress is lifting! My husband & I are getting along. We actually went out for Mexican last night & it felt good to look at him across the table. He is my rock! I don't ever want to take him for granted again. Sometimes he seems lik...

mm830 · mm830

Merry Christmas all. I decided to go to A's family Christmas more for myself than anything, I don't want to ruin this holiday for people who have done a lot for me and my son. Let A ruin it fine, but his mother has been good to me. If A is acting out that's on him, my plan in that case is to leave my son at home so he...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Merry Christmas and thank you God for a solution. no, it's not easy to follow the directions you have given me yes my ego and pride are hurt but I know my family are sick people with no tools like me they get sick sometimes and I know this isn't a determination of who I am! help me respond the way you would wa...

bubblegum · bubblegum

Please join us at 9pm Eastern Standard Time Tuesday - Tonight --- Despite the festive eve for most families, some of us may need some emotional support. If you do, please join me tonight. Topics are Honesty, Hope and Healing.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My will vs God's will (Preview) I posted this dilemma on another support board, too, but I wanted to share here. I have been working on determining the difference between my will and discovering God's will for me. I had recently decided to separate from my AH. I am now backing away from that decision for reasons that I can't truly pin...	ilovedogs	16	796	Dec 30, 2013 by anonymous214
	glad to have you all in my life (Preview) It has been months and months since I have been here. Things got very, very bad for my family and me and then they got better. Since things got better, I forgot to keep taking care of myself through al-anon. I have found myself recently being constantly suspicious and playing detective (old habits a...	imom	7	448	Dec 30, 2013 by PP
	Christmas in Jail (Preview) Long story short, I called 911 on December 3 in order to enter my home after a disturbing call from my A. I had been staying at my mother's since June helping watch her and finding an assisted living place for her with my sister and preparing her house for sale. I entered the home with police and an ambula...	Donna Lee	9	495	Dec 30, 2013 by imom
	My son back in Jail and "Porter Potty Paul" in detox... (Preview) Hi everyone, Just throwing this out there, into the four winds tonight. I got a call this afternoon from my son, from jail. As some of you already know, this time last year (the same week before Christmas), I bailed him out of jail and he jumped the bond and ran three days later. I had to go through the pr...	John	21	1243	Dec 30, 2013 by hotrod
	Firearms and a demented A (Preview) Hi all. A new and frightening topic. My ex A has dementia and alcoholic wet brain, along with black outs. He is totally unstable. A former serviceman as well with PTSD. He has a firearm and ammo. He is currently trying to get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. We haven't been together in years....	Grace7	6	417	Dec 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Crazy Thinking (Preview) I'm sitting here at work getting ready to go home and I'm thinking about my son. Now this is nuts... I wonder if he's OK at his dads Is he bored Is he getting his business taken care of Is he getting along with his dad because they can butt heads I bet he's really anxious and wants a drink so bad he's going to d...	Cathyinaz	12	454	Dec 30, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	trying not to loose myself.... (Preview) ... and it's not easy. I am tending again to become invisible, an i'm making wrong choices. I am not taking care of myself as I should, for I allow A to have contact with me again. Because I want to deal with things in a civilized and human way. Because I'm not a robot and can't switch in a month just like that f...	tortuga	3	378	Dec 30, 2013 by tortuga
	weather (Preview) My part of the world has saw rain and grey skies every day for what seems like weeks now, today though its dry and bright, no blue in the sky mind you but a huge difference. Everything seems clearer. The weather makes me think of nature and the part my higher power plays for me. I mean its like the daily remin...	el-cee	5	445	Dec 30, 2013 by milkwood
	Feeling guilty...could be I need a meeting (Preview) The holidays mean a busier work schedule, as well as having family & friends over. What has happened is that I haven't been even to my online meetings, let alone face to face. Well, I tried tonight to go to a face to face, but there was no one there. I haven't been to it before, so not sure if it still meet...	ryanhearted	2	196	Dec 29, 2013 by neshema2
	Seeking Serenity (Preview) Hi all. I am new to this forum. I am truly struggling today with my alcoholic son. He has been drinking for several weeks, lies in bed all day and is deeply depressed. His health is suffering and he is extremely thin. He lives alone, so I constantly battle with the need to drive to his place to see if he i...	Oats	9	389	Dec 29, 2013 by Tracy
	He left treatment. (Preview) My son called today, he does not feel good. He wanted to go to the hospital. Everything he described sounds like anxiety panic attacks. I asked him to ride it Out. He has just been to the clinic 2 days before with fluid in his lungs. They gave him some shots and antibiotics. He was so panicked today and want...	Katytexasmom	15	484	Dec 29, 2013 by Carla042
	would appreciate some input on this (Preview) I put this on my facebook in the hopes that my brother will see it and get the message to this woman that she needs to BACK off and leave me alone what do you guys think????? I am gonna think...pray.....think again and ask for esh BEFORE i do anything....maybe i can get the phone company to help me, I don't k...	neshema2	18	471	Dec 29, 2013 by abbyal
	feeling healthy... (Preview) Other than me back bothering a bit, I am feeling pretty healthy today. I guess the massage therapist worked a little too hard on my back. I won't be seeing her until next year...hee hee! I have a sense of who I really am today. I know now that I am the best I can be. I have to remember to not put myself down. I rea...	Hoot Nanny	3	165	Dec 29, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Merry Christmas MIP family (Preview) Merry Christmas everyone, I hope this day is peaceful for everyone. The Hope for Today book has a lovely reading to help get your day started.x	el-cee	12	383	Dec 29, 2013 by el-cee
	I have fallen and I cant get up/out. (Preview) If you don't want to listen to a rant just close this now. I will understand completely I feel like I have fallen into a vat of super negatively. I am taking care of my mother while she is in the hospital. She is thee most negative person I have ever met in my entire life. She is ACOA and has some psych issues....	Tricia911	13	515	Dec 29, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Sponsorship Questions? (Preview) I was unable to get to my face to face meeting because whatever my daughter had on Christmas Eve I has by Christmas night and I was still running a fever come Thursday. That was not the gift I wanted to give my new friends lol! I was going to ask about finding a sponsor. I dug out the phone list was going to se...	HisMrsWright	9	1332	Dec 29, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Starting a new meeting.... (Preview) in my area the one meeting a week, is a bit unhealthy and a few people from here go 45 minutes away to a different great meeting that I love also. I am so busy that it just seems crazy that we don't have one in our bigger area and it might draw in more people (build it and they will come) at least that is what I hope...	Breakingfree	5	877	Dec 29, 2013 by abbyal
	Why not make a decision already (Preview) My AH has been gone for 3 months now. His promise to get help has not happened due to every excuse he could come up with. I finally asked him in all seriousness if he wanted a divorce. I thought he would jump at the chance as he was the one who left us. He asked why I was asking that question. I told him he hasn't g...	mongowal	14	543	Dec 28, 2013 by Breakingfree
	ugh, melancholy day, but serene (Preview) My son came to pick me up today. I was going to take him to eat. Of course that was sorta a dumb idea. One place open, he does not like crowds, standing in line etc. So before we left the parking lot, we helped this gal and her teen girl who was rolling her eyes soooo embarrassed, jump her car. Guess it was where...	Debilyn	7	426	Dec 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	I spent Christmas with my exAH and his parents.... (Preview) overall it went good, I spent a few days around my exAh and his parents and I made the best of it. I went to a meeting with my old al-anon home group as soon as I arrived into town and it set me up to be strong in my program while spending Christmas with my children and ex family, who is currently dry, but not wor...	Breakingfree	7	430	Dec 28, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	From the mouth of a teen (Preview) My grandson is a freshman in high school. His life hasn't been a walk in the park. He has all sorts of reasons to feel sorry for himself, but he doesn't. He just keeps his head down and keeps going despite various things that aren't to his liking. I stayed with both my daughter and my grandson Christma...	grateful2be	19	436	Dec 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	An emotional day (Preview) This Christmas morning was incredible. My partner surprised me by actually having bought the wedding bands we liked. He put mine in my stocking. It was wonderful. ..very emotional. Then I went to work. Many of the client were down. Some were on the verge of leaving AMA. They all have lots of issues and p...	pinkchip	15	457	Dec 28, 2013 by bud
	First post. (Preview) Hello all. My first post here, after a couple weeks of trolling. I've been going through some personal turmoil, which seems to be magnified by the Holiday Season, but it's comforting to have another tool in the tool box to deal with life. I participated in my first online/chatroom meeting today, a...	Divedet	13	369	Dec 28, 2013 by Courage
	New Goals - Respect (Preview) I have been feeling better despite everything since I discovered this group, and have been trying to stay connected with what HP wants for me, not what I want for me. I am not always there just more than it was, which I am so grateful for. So one thing that has surfaced and I plan on working on more is respect...	mm830	4	202	Dec 27, 2013 by hotrod
	my stubborn daughter and spoiled (Preview) just got through talking to my daughter on skype ,talked about them getting out of military and she seems to think there no security for them here in the states,no jobs,no good schools,no nothings ,Ha i said she was all wrong that she and her little ones and hubby neede to just stay where their at ,englan...	lookingup	12	447	Dec 27, 2013 by lookingup
	banging head against the same wall. . repeat (Preview) well it 300am. i last saw my ah at 800am whn he left for work. sure he called a few times. . the last whn our daughter called him at 9pm to see if he was coming home. nope. . was at a buddies. spoke to me and said i wont be late lets plan to leave (for a trip i encouraged) by 930. yup. that should work well. he just dra...	Theoceancalls	6	465	Dec 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Taking it one minute at a time.. (Preview) I have not heard from my son. But I have said to myself.. I cannot help him.. He had to want it!!! I'm saying the serenity prayer every minute. I think about how much my daughter needs me!! I last told my son I live him and will be here for him when he is healthy and sober.. I told him I have lots if faith in god.. N...	Gaby	7	291	Dec 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Christmas morning special... (Preview) Hope all of the family had a wonderful Christmas...ours was nice and then very special. My wife loves to bring me her presents (the ones she gets for me) and then sits and smiles with glee and the command "Okay...stop what you're doing and open these". I have to laugh cause she gets happy...	Jerry F	9	357	Dec 27, 2013 by Jerry F
	update on the "stalker" (Preview) should have put this here.... Thank all of you for stepping up and giving me some great input thus far i have done the following..... called my sponsor who is a ret. police detective from Seattle....she left the force when she and her husb. were working in robbery/homicide division and he got shot to de...	neshema2	2	258	Dec 27, 2013 by PP
	My favorite part of Christmas (Preview) I don't mean this in a mean way but I absolutely love the day after Christmas! Because me and my kids get together with family for leftovers lunch without AH and AFIL (is that an acronym?? It is now...) It's like a Do-over. Christmas without the drama. Blessings to all.. I don't post a lot but your share...	tweety23	5	173	Dec 27, 2013 by tweety23
	count down (Preview) Yesterday he started drinking around 8:30 am and stopped when he fell asleep or passed out.I never can tell.But when all was said and done he'd had 13-14 pints of beer at least.Today he's already up to 3 pints at least and it's only 9:30.So today isn't going to be any different then any other day he's not a...	pixie	8	443	Dec 27, 2013 by pixie
	Oh, and lol (Preview) Whilst walking the dog today, we passed the library and after reading a sign, my daughter started musing over the word "committee". She babbled about it all the way home and then asked me "what committees can you think of?" and I started to laugh and said "well, it's a bit na...	Melly1248	8	249	Dec 27, 2013 by mm830
	its just sad to be in this place (Preview) im not sure posting will help me right now but i know not what else to do. ive been emailing my sponsor and lisyening to her wisdom yet i remain paralyzed. my relationship with my active ah has just been miserable this month. its always a bad time for him. . details too much to mention and thn all i want is som...	Theoceancalls	13	426	Dec 27, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Sex with your A partner (Preview) Hi there How do people tackle this subject? The A in my life is my partner (we're not married but good as, been together 8 years, lived together 7 have a 6 year old daughter). I only discovered she was an A a few years ago and it's been a real tough slog. If it wasn't for our daughter I would have walked a long t...	jitsuka	12	593	Dec 27, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	IT WORKED! (Preview) I will try not to make this post too long...It worked! I wasn't really depressed this Christmas. I didn't get many calls except from my cousin on the answering machine at home. I didn't get to talk to her later. I didn't talk to my mother. That's OK. I spent the day w/ my friends who invited me to dinner. I mi...	Hoot Nanny	4	249	Dec 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Different behavior pattern for me - same for him (Preview) The "disappearances" im sure so many of you have dealt with. The cycles, and circles that have been repeated over and over again. This time, it was a break up on Tuesday, followed by an obsessive amount of calls, very loving conversations, followed by making plans with me, THEN BREAKING TH...	breamanic665	7	412	Dec 26, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Setting Boundaries (Preview) Setting Boundaries The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care of our self. Being forced to learn how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own our self, of learning to respect ourselves, of learning to love ourselves. If we never have to set a boundary, then we will never get in touch wit...	Tasha	7	549	Dec 26, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	From Moku Keawe (Preview) ...the Big Island of Hawaii anchored in the Pacific Ocean. Mele Kalikimaka e Hauoli Makahiki Ho...Of course there's no fooling any of you because you know that is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year said from the center of my spirit with love. I have everything I need with my peace of mind and sereni...	Jerry F	20	469	Dec 26, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	No "Merry Christmas" call yesterday (Preview) The old me, without AlAnon, would have gone ballistic without a call from my recovering addict on Christmas Day - but thanks to the program, I was able to let it go and remind myself that WHY he didn't call is none of my business and that (hopefully) he's trying to work out his issues in his own way in his own...	texas yankee	5	363	Dec 26, 2013 by texas yankee
	Song lyrics that really got me thinking! :) (Preview) So I was listening to a CD my mom had in her car, driving home from Christmas with my dad, who is a recovering A. This was the first good christmas I ever remember with my dad, and I was thankful on my travels. If you have read any of my posts, I haven't spoken about my dad before, but only of my ABF. At any rate, i...	breamanic665	4	402	Dec 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Merry Christmas and an update :) (Preview) Well Merry Christmas to everyone .. the kids and I scooted down to McD's down the road to catch some internet tonight and see what was shaking .. it's pretty quiet to say the least. The kids are settled with their Christmas gifts and hanging out. We had a really nice Christmas, officially the best Chri...	SerenityRUS	4	286	Dec 26, 2013 by bud
	Feeling angry again (Preview) at my punishing family for making sure I was not included at Christmas today. i can't even begin to tell you how horrid their psychological abuse has been over the past two years. It is so disturbing it's too hard to hear. i'm also feeling that I am hurting everyone by giving them someone to blame. This do...	WorkingThroughIt	12	517	Dec 26, 2013 by bud
	Yay for change. (Preview) That was as close to a perfect Christmas as it gets. On Christmas Eve, I travelled alone to my mums. A year ago I would have cried all the way there, knowing that I was going to Christmas without ABF. This time I was in a great mood. I took photos out the train window all the way there, called every family memb...	Melly1248	6	338	Dec 26, 2013 by likemyheart
	Speechless (Preview) So, Christmas was beautiful .. it was spent divided however because of the family disease .. My mother is dying and I'm watching family come together (the girls) .. and watching the isolation, the defects take them over .. (no judgments, criticisms, i have my own) .. I spent 13 years with an addict an...	MeTwo2	4	364	Dec 26, 2013 by oldergal
	Alanon Promises? (Preview) We had an Alanon speaker last week at a round-up. He read the "Alanon Promises". I thought that he was reading from "Survival to Recovery". Does anyone know where the "Alanon Promises" are? Thanks so much, Nancy -- Edited by nmike at 23:04, 2008-09-21	nmike	12	9930	Dec 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Merry Christmas.. (Preview) Today I got up and celebrated with family. It was hard. After last night and my son saying he is suicidal.. And manipulated me the way he did. I'm am physically and emotionally sick. He told me that he won't call me no more. I told him I love him and to please think about his daughter. I can not stop him from do...	Gaby	1	117	Dec 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Merry Christmas (Preview) But I'll be glad when the holidays are over and things are back to normal.I haven't been on in a long time and guess I just need to vent.My husband the alcoholic is off work for the holidays.Every day he's off work he drinks more.I started playing this little game where I count the beer in the fridge at nigh...	pixie	3	214	Dec 25, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Wow, it has been staring me in the face for 8 years, but now I get it. (Preview) It has been an interesting eight years for me and my A. I was in denial for a long time that he really had a problem. I wanted to fix it and really thought I could. I did start going to Al-Anon meetings almost 8 years ago which I do think saved my life and sanity. I have completed step 1 and have two sponsors...	Jen61	6	433	Dec 25, 2013 by Jen61
	Again!! I was manipulated !! (Preview) It's hard .. my son found his way home. He again said he wants to go to the SLE.. So I met up with him to take him and he decided to go to the Salvation Army... Me knowing he may leave.. He said he wants help and he will get it there. This whole time I know I again was manipulated. I told him I love him and I won't lose...	Gaby	8	431	Dec 25, 2013 by Mimi3
	Merry Christmas (Preview) Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS	Cathyinaz	12	343	Dec 25, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Facing Fears (Preview) I think yesterday I talked about my AA Sponsor. It's good to have him but it's not enough. I really need to be working with a woman - and one in Alanon. More than anything else I'm Alanon qualified. Booze was a long-ago tossed out symptom of my Alanon issues. for the last few weeks I've been reading 10th Ste...	WorkingThroughIt	5	353	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Go or stay..GO starting to make more sense (Preview) Can't believe it has been 17 plus years with my alky. Ask myself over and over why I am still here. Can't honestly say I love him. I care, but don't have love any longer..too many harsh words, pounding on locked doors, name calling, cuss words, filthy angry words and threats. He has been in hospital at lea...	trelani	3	382	Dec 25, 2013 by neshema2
	Alone on Christmas and OK with that! (Preview) Merry Christmas! A year ago I would've never thought I would be spending Christmas alone with just my daughter. My husband is still in rehab. He has called me several times and sounds positive. I first had doubts but the past week and a half I have been reading more and more on codependency and alcoholis...	HisMrsWright	4	408	Dec 25, 2013 by Heddy
	Gratitude for the self-esteem this program has brought me (Preview) Not so long ago, during this time of the year, I used to think that the amount of gifts I received from others was a tell tale sign of how loved and appreciated I was. The less gifts I received, the less I was appreciated and the lower my self-esteem dropped. This year has been a really, REALLY rough year for...	Aloha	5	273	Dec 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Christmas Eve Upset (Preview) I posted about 9 days ago that I was concerned my son had started drinking again after close to a year recovery. Two days ago I discovered a $100 bill was missing from my purse. Tonight I am missing lottery tickets that were gifts. I went into my son's room and found several of my gift cards that I had rounde...	Dotty2	6	471	Dec 25, 2013 by Debilyn
	Musings of the mind (Preview) I think it's funny, sometimes, when I catch myself and call myself on my wacky thinking. This morning while driving in to work today, my head was taking me on this imaginary "what if" trip. I won't bother with details, because it's all imagined stuff anyhow, but my mind was playing out these...	Aloha	1	181	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	still hanging in! (Preview) Yes, today is Christmas eve! I am not going to be on here tomorrow. The stress is lifting! My husband & I are getting along. We actually went out for Mexican last night & it felt good to look at him across the table. He is my rock! I don't ever want to take him for granted again. Sometimes he seems lik...	Hoot Nanny	1	148	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Doing well... (Preview) Merry Christmas all. I decided to go to A's family Christmas more for myself than anything, I don't want to ruin this holiday for people who have done a lot for me and my son. Let A ruin it fine, but his mother has been good to me. If A is acting out that's on him, my plan in that case is to leave my son at home so he...	mm830	4	209	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling much better today even though rejected (Preview) Merry Christmas and thank you God for a solution. no, it's not easy to follow the directions you have given me yes my ego and pride are hurt but I know my family are sick people with no tools like me they get sick sometimes and I know this isn't a determination of who I am! help me respond the way you would wa...	WorkingThroughIt	3	348	Dec 25, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Christmas Eve Meeting - please join me. Topics are Hope, Healing and Honesty. (Preview) Please join us at 9pm Eastern Standard Time Tuesday - Tonight --- Despite the festive eve for most families, some of us may need some emotional support. If you do, please join me tonight. Topics are Honesty, Hope and Healing.	bubblegum	0	223	Dec 24, 2013 by bubblegum
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.