Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

charr · charr

It is true, my ah is an a. I never wanted to admit it. for 20 years he has never really showed Huge signs of this disease. (maybe i didn't want to see them) They are coming out full force now, (his choice) I am understanding (i think) the progression of Aism, And where he is taking himself. As i am reading the...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I gotta get this out, thanks for listening. I am getting divorced. Just really sad about all the hope and dreams so far gone, so distorted, such a useless waste of energy, etc. So sad, just a lot of tears. I know it will pass. I know it is grief. I know HP is holding me close. I just am having a lot of uncomfor...

glad · glad

The beer companies paint pictures of "hot" young girls, beautiful "rocky mountains" a room full of "friends" etc. Are all these supposed to represent what drinking will "bring' you. What would our ad campains look like?? I always had a picture of cars crashe...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Family))))) As many of you know, I recently got a new supervisor, and I was very upset because she was my former partner, and we had some very bad feelings between us while she was at my store. As a result of all of these problems she was moved to another store. I was really afraid that things woul...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok,some of you know I live in a bunkhouse on the end of my barn. I use a toilet you put bags in..... gross, but functional. BUT guess what!!! I sold my FannieAlice to be a breeder to a very nice knowledgeable PLUMBER!! I asked him if he would trade putting a toilet in here for me. He quickly said no problem!!!...

glad · glad

Regarding last post: Hope you guys don't get sick of my "drama" but.... I just realized I need to be thankful, I tried to set boundries, he got offended And he told me so: that is an emotion, He told me about an emotion!!! He told me it made him feel like he was being treated like a baby. He used the...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Reality: working in a gas station as a cashier for $7/hr instead of in the field I spent the last year in school for Dream world: Perfect job, perfect boss, perfect peers Reality: Not being able to take care of my kids because I can't even take care of myself right now Dream World: Having the faculites to c...

glad · glad

The proof is in the end result. The proof is in the way we live our lives. The road to poverty with us is paved with good intentions, for us. We contantly struggle with being out of cash due to paying todays expenses with money that is due tomorrow. He was uspset with me for messing up a good night last nigh...

tma0413 · tma0413

Well the A was sentenced today for his DUI/snowmobile in January. Huge fine...and 10 days in jail/work release. He is to start serving his time next Friday. While it kills me to think that he will be away from the family for 10 (8) days, I am trying to think positive....at least it is ONLY 8 days. But...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Two recent stories have popped up on the news in recent days, and they both sure smack of "alcoholism"..... In Australia, a man was pulled over by police, and he had a 24-pack of beer snugly fastened in the seatbelt, while his 5-year old boy was sitting on the floor of the vehicle, NOT buckled...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been finding my AH is deciding to be suspicious of me every now and then. A few weeks ago, he got upset at me for coming home late after an Al-Anon meeting - I turn my cell off during the meetings and then right after the meeting, I often find I'm talking with other members for a while and often don't ge...

Suzannah · Suzannah

The more I read others here, the more I realise I was so uneducated and so gullible and so naive. I know I cannot go back, o that I could my mind says on irrational days, and I would not want to, however I am so so naive, or rather I was. The things I did wrong; they make me cringe. I fell for all the A's insanity an...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I have been reading more of the posts on here and maybe Im not having such a great understanding of the way somethings are....I have been working very hard on step one and the issue of control...some days are better than others but I am still trying....but one thing that keeps popping in...

Jorbax · Jorbax

I am not dealing with things very well today to be honest..........I am wondering what you guys think about this: I let my 58 yr old A. brother move in with us (thought he was at rock bottom & ready for change) He is here and has already lost a job nearby due to drinking/ fighting (he is a belligerent d...

ddub · ddub

When I was in denial, the rules kept changing based on whether AH was drunk or not. Trying to keep everything going smoothly was impossible because the rules changed. At the time, I had negative thoughts that I wasn't trying hard enough, I was just not smart enough or I always messed things up. The u...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I initially looked forward to posting about what I great day I had. I got off work early, stopped to make an appt for a haircut and was able to get one immediately, and then bought an outfit for a event I am going to this weekend. I even got a local discount, and my pants are being hemmed for free. While shoppi...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Several weeks ago my brother called me to see if I wanted his 'old' laptop as he was getting a new one. He has a sound studio at his home where he does radio commercials for businesses all over the country as a side business. He's also the creative director for TIC-FM in Hartford, CT, and also does the late a...

nmike · nmike

When do you know if you are really letting go? Or are you just stuffing it? I saw my Ahsober a few times this week. I have to prepare myself ahead of time because he comes, speaks to me about "the weather" type of things and then he is gone. I ask myself have I let go because I turn on my heel and walk h...

Jorbax · Jorbax

New to AlAnon....have only been to 2 f2f mtgs....but have called the lady I met several times in charge of the meeting whose # was given to me upon calling from the phonebook. I feel like I have called her too much. At the last mtg I apologized and she told me that I had only called her twice that week. Sh...

amybear · amybear

Hi all... Recovering from my surgery... literally feel like I was kicked in the gut, but I'm moving around a bit better and taking my time to heal - physically and emotionally... But tonight, I wanted to get some thoughts on dealing with your A when they realize you are trying to find serenity... and the...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking earlier about how significantly my life has changed since leaving the A. When I first left I had all this empty time and more importantly space in my mind and it left a HUGE gaping hole in my life when I moved out. I realize now that was because my whole life was about him and what HE was doing...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Hi everyone I am pleased to tell you all i worked up the courage to go to my first f2f meeting. Everyone was so nice to me, a little touchy feely for my liking as im not use to hugs, but guess its something i should get use to. Josh let out a huge burp whiched echoed around the church hall, was really funny. Feel...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

My husband brought me fresh cut lilacs and had coffee already made. The day was beautiful with sunshine and spring in the air. I called Mother and wished her a happy mother's day and asked her, if she could have done it all over again knowing what she does now or chosen to be a famous movie star instead wh...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I went to my first f2f Al-Anon meeting tonight. I cried off and on throughout it but I did speak - childlike though. I bought Courage to Change One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II. ESH would be appreciated. Lanchas

AlaMom · AlaMom

Then turn it over. Easier said than done at least for me anyways. Im ok with doing the legwork - but the turning over still gets me sometimes. I have a tendency to obsess a bit on things (something Im sure noone here is familiar with lol). Yesterday I got great news that we were approved for a loan for a n...

charr · charr

last night i went off on one of my ah friends, saying he was a bad influence on my husband and if things didn't change, i would make them change. when this guy or any of his friends come over it give him the right to drink and get away from me. He is saying i am the crazy one, i need help he wants to go to my therapy l...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I GOT A JOB! I'm in the Americorp, in Louisville, KY! I start the last week of june. WooHoo! WhoopWhoop!

glad · glad

Okay I understand that we don't need to get our validation from other people, and I have hoped for just that all my life while continuing to choose men who are not communicative or very open emotionally. Husband of 15 years just didn't have it IQ wise. Current BF of 5 years is very smart, charming an...

Tracy · Tracy

My A has been in touch after nearly three weeks. I tried to understand he was ill while still trying to protect me. I have not allowed him back and have only seen him twice. I am aware he is trying to start the cycle agian promises that will not be kept, apologies that make me feel sorry for him. I care for h...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I was in an online alanon room and I saw the words Let Go and Let God, I'm grateful for that. Today has been one of those days when I have the instinct to force everything, or more to the point, force the people that I love and want to love me back so that I will feel better about myself. I have been doing this all...

maresie · maresie

The A who I was once with calls maybe once every six weeks. No matter what I do or say he keeps up the calls. In his law of averages he feels I am sure that eventually I'll break down and feel sorry for him or say something that will somehow engage him. My only recourse through all this has to be really diligen...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I finally get up the courage to get my AH out of the house in hopes that I can find some peace. Now my 18 year old is trying to take over. He is in his last week of High school and has no idea where he wants to go to school and has no financial aide. He goes to school for a few hours in the morning and then goes to work f...

debilyn · debilyn

Geez we have the addicts having drug affected babies,out to adoption. addicts keeping their kids,no supervision,no mentors... And now we have a generation of "parents" who want to be FRIENDS with their kids and wonder why they are writing on walls, uncontrollable, rrrrrr Today I was wa...

Aloha · Aloha

My AH and I went to small claims court today for our hearing on getting our security deposit back from our previous land lord. No surprise, she didn't show up. We sat in the courtroom with AC set to "Arctic" for a good hour until we were called, and then the judge reads a letter from her requesti...

glad · glad

In a case where one has "given their power away" by letting someone push your buttons "big time" and when one realizes it way too late. Like 2 years later or so, what to do? Contacting the person to "take your power back" would seem like just giving them more power. Si...

maresie · maresie

I think I have always been highly reactive. I grew up in a house where it was a fight to survive. I learned to just react, over react, react. These days I am trying not to be that way and its pretty much a mental discipline. Sometimes I do better than others. I keep having to look at my part in it and generally...

shadow1 · shadow1

Mike You have a pm

glad · glad

My issues I feel I can't control but think maybe I should find a way to are?? It's not my cat. I don't really like or dislike her. The cat pan is always full of poop, I have to empty it. It makes the house stink! The cat has kittens like a million times a year, babies stay in our bedroom and make it stink!! If I wan...

Hello, I am a new member... · wildthang86

I just joined today. My AH was just removed from our home a week and half ago and for those of your familiar with that you know that a court hearing comes after that. I also requested that he not be allowed to see our children, one who is 18 and one who is 14. The AH got wind that I was filing for an Order of Protec...

omajoy · omajoy

Life keeps piling on me,it seems. Just got a call that my 88 year old Dad, newly widowed eight weeks ago, was taken to hospital this morning with weakness and vomiting. Now I sit waiting and worried about that. He is 1000 miles away and as it was with my mother, I am not nearby to provide anything to him....

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

my birthday was on Friday and Mothers Day is today and it has been a miserable weekend. Let's start with Friday. My home health aide didn't acknowledge my birthday the entire day and she had plenty of chances cause it was acknowledged all day by other people. Now, I've always thought that if you knew it w...

Loupiness · Loupiness

This is my weekend with the kids, but my AH asked if he could have the kids tonight so he could take them to his mom's house and cook her dinner for Mother's Day. No problem for me. Now I get to go to al-anon! Anyhow, I texted him a quick message this evening because I wanted the kids ready so he wouldn't hang ar...

amybear · amybear

Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent... Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...

omajoy · omajoy

My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...

paulaque · paulaque

Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...

debilyn · debilyn

I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...

cara33 · cara33

Hi everyone Quick history Son has been on opiates for over 2 years He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days. He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...

round3 · round3

As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...

bev · bev

my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...

meagain · meagain

I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...

JohnL · JohnL

Hello all....I'm brand new to this site. My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...

ddub · ddub

"What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...

z28mama8 · z28mama8

Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...

barbie · barbie

My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Family)))) A very Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are a mother to children or pets or both like I am. May you all have a blessed Mothers Day!! Love, Claudia

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still struggling with MD! I am not very happy this time of year anymore! I have two mothers to celebrate with and not myself. I have never had children and regret it very much. I have wanted children but know that I shouldn't. It is a very tough decision I had to make, too. I will make it through, I k...

ddub · ddub

"More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking." I have been frustrated with stressed kids over failing grades and missing school, but today they are camping with scouts so all three of us can have a break from the pressure. My sleep has been poor and many naps to be rested for the...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My awakening (Preview) It is true, my ah is an a. I never wanted to admit it. for 20 years he has never really showed Huge signs of this disease. (maybe i didn't want to see them) They are coming out full force now, (his choice) I am understanding (i think) the progression of Aism, And where he is taking himself. As i am reading the...	charr	4	574	May 19, 2008 by maresie
	so sad (Preview) I gotta get this out, thanks for listening. I am getting divorced. Just really sad about all the hope and dreams so far gone, so distorted, such a useless waste of energy, etc. So sad, just a lot of tears. I know it will pass. I know it is grief. I know HP is holding me close. I just am having a lot of uncomfor...	Jean4444	16	507	May 19, 2008 by maresie
	What would your advertisement look like?? (Preview) The beer companies paint pictures of "hot" young girls, beautiful "rocky mountains" a room full of "friends" etc. Are all these supposed to represent what drinking will "bring' you. What would our ad campains look like?? I always had a picture of cars crashe...	glad	6	656	May 19, 2008 by Tiger2006
	GOOD NEWS!! (Preview) (((((Family))))) As many of you know, I recently got a new supervisor, and I was very upset because she was my former partner, and we had some very bad feelings between us while she was at my store. As a result of all of these problems she was moved to another store. I was really afraid that things woul...	cookie1971	4	315	May 19, 2008 by Tiger2006
	I got dumped on.....by HP (Preview) Ok,some of you know I live in a bunkhouse on the end of my barn. I use a toilet you put bags in..... gross, but functional. BUT guess what!!! I sold my FannieAlice to be a breeder to a very nice knowledgeable PLUMBER!! I asked him if he would trade putting a toilet in here for me. He quickly said no problem!!!...	debilyn	8	685	May 18, 2008 by cookie1971
	Blessed and almost missed it!!!! (Preview) Regarding last post: Hope you guys don't get sick of my "drama" but.... I just realized I need to be thankful, I tried to set boundries, he got offended And he told me so: that is an emotion, He told me about an emotion!!! He told me it made him feel like he was being treated like a baby. He used the...	glad	2	425	May 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Reality Stinks (Preview) Reality: working in a gas station as a cashier for $7/hr instead of in the field I spent the last year in school for Dream world: Perfect job, perfect boss, perfect peers Reality: Not being able to take care of my kids because I can't even take care of myself right now Dream World: Having the faculites to c...	JenniferN	4	487	May 18, 2008 by glad
	The proof is in the way we live our lives! (Preview) The proof is in the end result. The proof is in the way we live our lives. The road to poverty with us is paved with good intentions, for us. We contantly struggle with being out of cash due to paying todays expenses with money that is due tomorrow. He was uspset with me for messing up a good night last nigh...	glad	1	699	May 18, 2008 by nmike
	What happens from here.... (Preview) Well the A was sentenced today for his DUI/snowmobile in January. Huge fine...and 10 days in jail/work release. He is to start serving his time next Friday. While it kills me to think that he will be away from the family for 10 (8) days, I am trying to think positive....at least it is ONLY 8 days. But...	tma0413	4	465	May 18, 2008 by tma0413
	Stories that make you roll your eyes....... (Preview) Two recent stories have popped up on the news in recent days, and they both sure smack of "alcoholism"..... In Australia, a man was pulled over by police, and he had a 24-pack of beer snugly fastened in the seatbelt, while his 5-year old boy was sitting on the floor of the vehicle, NOT buckled...	canadianguy	4	758	May 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Suspicious A's (Preview) I've been finding my AH is deciding to be suspicious of me every now and then. A few weeks ago, he got upset at me for coming home late after an Al-Anon meeting - I turn my cell off during the meetings and then right after the meeting, I often find I'm talking with other members for a while and often don't ge...	Aloha	5	502	May 17, 2008 by wildthang86
	What a fool I have been... (Preview) The more I read others here, the more I realise I was so uneducated and so gullible and so naive. I know I cannot go back, o that I could my mind says on irrational days, and I would not want to, however I am so so naive, or rather I was. The things I did wrong; they make me cringe. I fell for all the A's insanity an...	Suzannah	10	675	May 16, 2008 by maresie
	Wondering about different things (Preview) Hello All, I have been reading more of the posts on here and maybe Im not having such a great understanding of the way somethings are....I have been working very hard on step one and the issue of control...some days are better than others but I am still trying....but one thing that keeps popping in...	acjmom	4	392	May 16, 2008 by canadianguy
	I need help/advice AND online sponsor (Preview) I am not dealing with things very well today to be honest..........I am wondering what you guys think about this: I let my 58 yr old A. brother move in with us (thought he was at rock bottom & ready for change) He is here and has already lost a job nearby due to drinking/ fighting (he is a belligerent d...	Jorbax	2	1307	May 16, 2008 by maresie
	Rejoice? (Preview) When I was in denial, the rules kept changing based on whether AH was drunk or not. Trying to keep everything going smoothly was impossible because the rules changed. At the time, I had negative thoughts that I wasn't trying hard enough, I was just not smart enough or I always messed things up. The u...	ddub	1	324	May 16, 2008 by nmike
	from good to bad (Preview) I initially looked forward to posting about what I great day I had. I got off work early, stopped to make an appt for a haircut and was able to get one immediately, and then bought an outfit for a event I am going to this weekend. I even got a local discount, and my pants are being hemmed for free. While shoppi...	Loupiness	3	411	May 16, 2008 by Jean4444
	I have the best brother in the world! (Preview) Several weeks ago my brother called me to see if I wanted his 'old' laptop as he was getting a new one. He has a sound studio at his home where he does radio commercials for businesses all over the country as a side business. He's also the creative director for TIC-FM in Hartford, CT, and also does the late a...	Tenderheartsks	5	929	May 16, 2008 by lmw
	Is this letting go? (Preview) When do you know if you are really letting go? Or are you just stuffing it? I saw my Ahsober a few times this week. I have to prepare myself ahead of time because he comes, speaks to me about "the weather" type of things and then he is gone. I ask myself have I let go because I turn on my heel and walk h...	nmike	1	614	May 15, 2008 by Jerry F
	? re: Sponsor (Preview) New to AlAnon....have only been to 2 f2f mtgs....but have called the lady I met several times in charge of the meeting whose # was given to me upon calling from the phonebook. I feel like I have called her too much. At the last mtg I apologized and she told me that I had only called her twice that week. Sh...	Jorbax	6	567	May 15, 2008 by nmike
	I'm NOT an A ... why do YOU need Al-anon??? (Preview) Hi all... Recovering from my surgery... literally feel like I was kicked in the gut, but I'm moving around a bit better and taking my time to heal - physically and emotionally... But tonight, I wanted to get some thoughts on dealing with your A when they realize you are trying to find serenity... and the...	amybear	12	703	May 15, 2008 by wp
	From too much to not enough! (Preview) I was thinking earlier about how significantly my life has changed since leaving the A. When I first left I had all this empty time and more importantly space in my mind and it left a HUGE gaping hole in my life when I moved out. I realize now that was because my whole life was about him and what HE was doing...	carolinagirl	7	586	May 15, 2008 by maresie
	First f2f alanon meeting (Preview) Hi everyone I am pleased to tell you all i worked up the courage to go to my first f2f meeting. Everyone was so nice to me, a little touchy feely for my liking as im not use to hugs, but guess its something i should get use to. Josh let out a huge burp whiched echoed around the church hall, was really funny. Feel...	mum2leahnjosh	7	346	May 15, 2008 by serendipity
	It Happened On Mother's Day (Preview) My husband brought me fresh cut lilacs and had coffee already made. The day was beautiful with sunshine and spring in the air. I called Mother and wished her a happy mother's day and asked her, if she could have done it all over again knowing what she does now or chosen to be a famous movie star instead wh...	Peggy7	11	896	May 14, 2008 by Maria123
	f2f meetings (Preview) I went to my first f2f Al-Anon meeting tonight. I cried off and on throughout it but I did speak - childlike though. I bought Courage to Change One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II. ESH would be appreciated. Lanchas	Lanchas	8	432	May 14, 2008 by Maria123
	Just Do the Legwork (Preview) Then turn it over. Easier said than done at least for me anyways. Im ok with doing the legwork - but the turning over still gets me sometimes. I have a tendency to obsess a bit on things (something Im sure noone here is familiar with lol). Yesterday I got great news that we were approved for a loan for a n...	AlaMom	2	356	May 14, 2008 by Maria123
	i did a bad thing? (Preview) last night i went off on one of my ah friends, saying he was a bad influence on my husband and if things didn't change, i would make them change. when this guy or any of his friends come over it give him the right to drink and get away from me. He is saying i am the crazy one, i need help he wants to go to my therapy l...	charr	10	541	May 14, 2008 by cookie1971
	Louisville, here I come! (Preview) I GOT A JOB! I'm in the Americorp, in Louisville, KY! I start the last week of june. WooHoo! WhoopWhoop!	Tiger2006	6	399	May 14, 2008 by cookie1971
	Mouse in little box again...ughh!! (Preview) Okay I understand that we don't need to get our validation from other people, and I have hoped for just that all my life while continuing to choose men who are not communicative or very open emotionally. Husband of 15 years just didn't have it IQ wise. Current BF of 5 years is very smart, charming an...	glad	4	661	May 14, 2008 by lin0606
	slips progress not perfection (Preview) My A has been in touch after nearly three weeks. I tried to understand he was ill while still trying to protect me. I have not allowed him back and have only seen him twice. I am aware he is trying to start the cycle agian promises that will not be kept, apologies that make me feel sorry for him. I care for h...	Tracy	5	535	May 14, 2008 by wildthang86
	Let Go and Let God (Preview) I was in an online alanon room and I saw the words Let Go and Let God, I'm grateful for that. Today has been one of those days when I have the instinct to force everything, or more to the point, force the people that I love and want to love me back so that I will feel better about myself. I have been doing this all...	seekingserenity	1	432	May 14, 2008 by maresie
	Giving away all my power to the A. (Preview) The A who I was once with calls maybe once every six weeks. No matter what I do or say he keeps up the calls. In his law of averages he feels I am sure that eventually I'll break down and feel sorry for him or say something that will somehow engage him. My only recourse through all this has to be really diligen...	maresie	2	463	May 14, 2008 by maresie
	AH out of the house and oldest son trying to take over (Preview) I finally get up the courage to get my AH out of the house in hopes that I can find some peace. Now my 18 year old is trying to take over. He is in his last week of High school and has no idea where he wants to go to school and has no financial aide. He goes to school for a few hours in the morning and then goes to work f...	wildthang86	8	468	May 14, 2008 by paulaque
	gads what is the child rearing world coming too???/ (Preview) Geez we have the addicts having drug affected babies,out to adoption. addicts keeping their kids,no supervision,no mentors... And now we have a generation of "parents" who want to be FRIENDS with their kids and wonder why they are writing on walls, uncontrollable, rrrrrr Today I was wa...	debilyn	4	627	May 14, 2008 by debilyn
	So court will be dragged on (Preview) My AH and I went to small claims court today for our hearing on getting our security deposit back from our previous land lord. No surprise, she didn't show up. We sat in the courtroom with AC set to "Arctic" for a good hour until we were called, and then the judge reads a letter from her requesti...	Aloha	1	361	May 14, 2008 by maresie
	Question on giving power away? (Preview) In a case where one has "given their power away" by letting someone push your buttons "big time" and when one realizes it way too late. Like 2 years later or so, what to do? Contacting the person to "take your power back" would seem like just giving them more power. Si...	glad	8	847	May 14, 2008 by canadianguy
	on not being reactive (Preview) I think I have always been highly reactive. I grew up in a house where it was a fight to survive. I learned to just react, over react, react. These days I am trying not to be that way and its pretty much a mental discipline. Sometimes I do better than others. I keep having to look at my part in it and generally...	maresie	1	348	May 14, 2008 by nmike
	Mike1106 check your pm (Preview) Mike You have a pm	shadow1	0	297	May 14, 2008 by shadow1
	Things I can control or things I can't?? (Preview) My issues I feel I can't control but think maybe I should find a way to are?? It's not my cat. I don't really like or dislike her. The cat pan is always full of poop, I have to empty it. It makes the house stink! The cat has kittens like a million times a year, babies stay in our bedroom and make it stink!! If I wan...	glad	3	625	May 14, 2008 by Peggy7
	Hello, I am a new member... (Preview) I just joined today. My AH was just removed from our home a week and half ago and for those of your familiar with that you know that a court hearing comes after that. I also requested that he not be allowed to see our children, one who is 18 and one who is 14. The AH got wind that I was filing for an Order of Protec...	wildthang86	8	677	May 14, 2008 by Peggy7
	news to cope with (Preview) Life keeps piling on me,it seems. Just got a call that my 88 year old Dad, newly widowed eight weeks ago, was taken to hospital this morning with weakness and vomiting. Now I sit waiting and worried about that. He is 1000 miles away and as it was with my mother, I am not nearby to provide anything to him....	omajoy	6	394	May 14, 2008 by Aloha
	explosion (Preview) my birthday was on Friday and Mothers Day is today and it has been a miserable weekend. Let's start with Friday. My home health aide didn't acknowledge my birthday the entire day and she had plenty of chances cause it was acknowledged all day by other people. Now, I've always thought that if you knew it w...	seekingserenity	4	367	May 13, 2008 by maresie
	Busted! (Preview) This is my weekend with the kids, but my AH asked if he could have the kids tonight so he could take them to his mom's house and cook her dinner for Mother's Day. No problem for me. Now I get to go to al-anon! Anyhow, I texted him a quick message this evening because I wanted the kids ready so he wouldn't hang ar...	Loupiness	10	537	May 13, 2008 by maresie
	rough night... (Preview) Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent... Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...	amybear	8	605	May 13, 2008 by amybear
	imagine it and it WILL come to pass (Preview) My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...	omajoy	6	599	May 13, 2008 by carolinagirl
	What is WRONG with me? (Preview) Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...	paulaque	12	731	May 13, 2008 by paulaque
	Pondering how the heck I got here (Preview) I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...	debilyn	6	733	May 13, 2008 by debilyn
	need advice quickly (Preview) Hi everyone Quick history Son has been on opiates for over 2 years He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days. He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...	cara33	6	483	May 13, 2008 by Christy
	A question of emotions (Preview) As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...	round3	5	723	May 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	MY AH moved out (Preview) Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...	CJ098	4	551	May 12, 2008 by glad
	well he slipped (Preview) my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...	bev	4	573	May 12, 2008 by maresie
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...	Hoot Nanny	1	364	May 12, 2008 by glad
	need advice asap! (Preview) I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...	meagain	10	524	May 12, 2008 by debilyn
	How do I deal with... (Preview) ...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...	Suzannah	4	635	May 12, 2008 by maresie
	My brother is in the hospital (Preview) Hello all....I'm brand new to this site. My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...	JohnL	10	839	May 12, 2008 by JohnL
	faith, courage & love (Preview) "What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...	ddub	1	368	May 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	what to do (Preview) Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...	z28mama8	7	482	May 12, 2008 by z28mama8
	Young People Taking a Pledge Not to use Drugs or Alcohol (Preview) My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...	barbie	4	664	May 12, 2008 by barbie
	HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! (Preview) (((((Family)))) A very Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are a mother to children or pets or both like I am. May you all have a blessed Mothers Day!! Love, Claudia	cookie1971	2	308	May 11, 2008 by Maria123
	Another Mother's Day! (Preview) I am still struggling with MD! I am not very happy this time of year anymore! I have two mothers to celebrate with and not myself. I have never had children and regret it very much. I have wanted children but know that I shouldn't. It is a very tough decision I had to make, too. I will make it through, I k...	Hoot Nanny	3	464	May 11, 2008 by round3
	A new way, a new day, a good day (Preview) "More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking." I have been frustrated with stressed kids over failing grades and missing school, but today they are camping with scouts so all three of us can have a break from the pressure. My sleep has been poor and many naps to be rested for the...	ddub	5	749	May 11, 2008 by Tracy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.