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Starting to question my abilities to cope...
(Preview)
For those of you keeping up with the "saga", I had to tell my 18 year old to leave the house. I had laid down rules for him to go by in order to stay here, one of which he COULD NOT use my car and had to find his own way to school, work and friends, etc.. Well this morning he came to me and wanted to use my c...
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wildthang86
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14
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778
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A's love to make you feel guilty
(Preview)
Hi all, Thank you so much for everyone's posts to my last entry. I'm having a really hard time with my feelings since my AH moved out. I feel happy, not depressed that he's gone. Yet everyone in my life is constantly asking me how I'm doing and worried I'll take him back. I don't understand why everyon...
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CJ098
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8
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1239
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My AH is mad at me....boohoo!!
(Preview)
Yes, my AH is mad at me for the way I had him removed from our home. He says because the way I was so sneaky about it and why didn't I just talk to him about things. He knows the program of AA and I don't think he is real familiar with Alanon but I just told him that I was scared to tell him because he was either drunk...
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wildthang86
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4
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724
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My awakening
(Preview)
It is true, my ah is an a. I never wanted to admit it. for 20 years he has never really showed Huge signs of this disease. (maybe i didn't want to see them) They are coming out full force now, (his choice) I am understanding (i think) the progression of Aism, And where he is taking himself. As i am reading the...
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charr
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4
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593
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so sad
(Preview)
I gotta get this out, thanks for listening.
I am getting divorced. Just really sad about all the hope and dreams so far gone, so distorted, such a useless waste of energy, etc. So sad, just a lot of tears. I know it will pass. I know it is grief. I know HP is holding me close. I just am having a lot of uncomfor...
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Jean4444
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16
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527
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What would your advertisement look like??
(Preview)
The beer companies paint pictures of "hot" young girls, beautiful "rocky mountains" a room full of "friends" etc. Are all these supposed to represent what drinking will "bring' you. What would our ad campains look like?? I always had a picture of cars crashe...
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glad
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6
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674
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GOOD NEWS!!
(Preview)
(((((Family))))) As many of you know, I recently got a new supervisor, and I was very upset because she was my former partner, and we had some very bad feelings between us while she was at my store. As a result of all of these problems she was moved to another store. I was really afraid that things woul...
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cookie1971
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4
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334
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I got dumped on.....by HP
(Preview)
Ok,some of you know I live in a bunkhouse on the end of my barn. I use a toilet you put bags in..... gross, but functional. BUT guess what!!! I sold my FannieAlice to be a breeder to a very nice knowledgeable PLUMBER!! I asked him if he would trade putting a toilet in here for me. He quickly said no problem!!!...
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debilyn
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8
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709
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Blessed and almost missed it!!!!
(Preview)
Regarding last post: Hope you guys don't get sick of my "drama" but.... I just realized I need to be thankful, I tried to set boundries, he got offended And he told me so: that is an emotion, He told me about an emotion!!! He told me it made him feel like he was being treated like a baby. He used the...
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glad
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2
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442
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Reality Stinks
(Preview)
Reality: working in a gas station as a cashier for $7/hr instead of in the field I spent the last year in school for Dream world: Perfect job, perfect boss, perfect peers Reality: Not being able to take care of my kids because I can't even take care of myself right now Dream World: Having the faculites to c...
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JenniferN
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4
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503
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The proof is in the way we live our lives!
(Preview)
The proof is in the end result. The proof is in the way we live our lives. The road to poverty with us is paved with good intentions, for us. We contantly struggle with being out of cash due to paying todays expenses with money that is due tomorrow. He was uspset with me for messing up a good night last nigh...
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glad
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1
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715
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What happens from here....
(Preview)
Well the A was sentenced today for his DUI/snowmobile in January. Huge fine...and 10 days in jail/work release. He is to start serving his time next Friday. While it kills me to think that he will be away from the family for 10 (8) days, I am trying to think positive....at least it is ONLY 8 days. But...
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tma0413
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4
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482
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Stories that make you roll your eyes.......
(Preview)
Two recent stories have popped up on the news in recent days, and they both sure smack of "alcoholism"..... In Australia, a man was pulled over by police, and he had a 24-pack of beer snugly fastened in the seatbelt, while his 5-year old boy was sitting on the floor of the vehicle, NOT buckled...
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canadianguy
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4
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775
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Suspicious A's
(Preview)
I've been finding my AH is deciding to be suspicious of me every now and then.
A few weeks ago, he got upset at me for coming home late after an Al-Anon meeting - I turn my cell off during the meetings and then right after the meeting, I often find I'm talking with other members for a while and often don't ge...
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Aloha
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5
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519
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What a fool I have been...
(Preview)
The more I read others here, the more I realise I was so uneducated and so gullible and so naive. I know I cannot go back, o that I could my mind says on irrational days, and I would not want to, however I am so so naive, or rather I was. The things I did wrong; they make me cringe. I fell for all the A's insanity an...
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Suzannah
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10
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692
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Wondering about different things
(Preview)
Hello All, I have been reading more of the posts on here and maybe Im not having such a great understanding of the way somethings are....I have been working very hard on step one and the issue of control...some days are better than others but I am still trying....but one thing that keeps popping in...
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acjmom
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4
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409
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I need help/advice AND online sponsor
(Preview)
I am not dealing with things very well today to be honest..........I am wondering what you guys think about this: I let my 58 yr old A. brother move in with us (thought he was at rock bottom & ready for change) He is here and has already lost a job nearby due to drinking/ fighting (he is a belligerent d...
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Jorbax
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2
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1326
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Rejoice?
(Preview)
When I was in denial, the rules kept changing based on whether AH was drunk or not. Trying to keep everything going smoothly was impossible because the rules changed. At the time, I had negative thoughts that I wasn't trying hard enough, I was just not smart enough or I always messed things up. The u...
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ddub
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1
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343
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from good to bad
(Preview)
I initially looked forward to posting about what I great day I had. I got off work early, stopped to make an appt for a haircut and was able to get one immediately, and then bought an outfit for a event I am going to this weekend. I even got a local discount, and my pants are being hemmed for free. While shoppi...
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Loupiness
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3
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428
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I have the best brother in the world!
(Preview)
Several weeks ago my brother called me to see if I wanted his 'old' laptop as he was getting a new one. He has a sound studio at his home where he does radio commercials for businesses all over the country as a side business. He's also the creative director for TIC-FM in Hartford, CT, and also does the late a...
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Tenderheartsks
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5
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947
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Is this letting go?
(Preview)
When do you know if you are really letting go? Or are you just stuffing it? I saw my Ahsober a few times this week. I have to prepare myself ahead of time because he comes, speaks to me about "the weather" type of things and then he is gone. I ask myself have I let go because I turn on my heel and walk h...
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nmike
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1
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631
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? re: Sponsor
(Preview)
New to AlAnon....have only been to 2 f2f mtgs....but have called the lady I met several times in charge of the meeting whose # was given to me upon calling from the phonebook. I feel like I have called her too much. At the last mtg I apologized and she told me that I had only called her twice that week. Sh...
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Jorbax
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6
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594
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I'm NOT an A ... why do YOU need Al-anon???
(Preview)
Hi all... Recovering from my surgery... literally feel like I was kicked in the gut, but I'm moving around a bit better and taking my time to heal - physically and emotionally... But tonight, I wanted to get some thoughts on dealing with your A when they realize you are trying to find serenity... and the...
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amybear
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12
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721
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From too much to not enough!
(Preview)
I was thinking earlier about how significantly my life has changed since leaving the A. When I first left I had all this empty time and more importantly space in my mind and it left a HUGE gaping hole in my life when I moved out. I realize now that was because my whole life was about him and what HE was doing...
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carolinagirl
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7
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600
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First f2f alanon meeting
(Preview)
Hi everyone I am pleased to tell you all i worked up the courage to go to my first f2f meeting. Everyone was so nice to me, a little touchy feely for my liking as im not use to hugs, but guess its something i should get use to. Josh let out a huge burp whiched echoed around the church hall, was really funny. Feel...
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mum2leahnjosh
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7
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363
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It Happened On Mother's Day
(Preview)
My husband brought me fresh cut lilacs and had coffee already made. The day was beautiful with sunshine and spring in the air. I called Mother and wished her a happy mother's day and asked her, if she could have done it all over again knowing what she does now or chosen to be a famous movie star instead wh...
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Peggy7
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11
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914
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f2f meetings
(Preview)
I went to my first f2f Al-Anon meeting tonight. I cried off and on throughout it but I did speak - childlike though. I bought Courage to Change One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II. ESH would be appreciated. Lanchas
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Lanchas
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8
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449
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Just Do the Legwork
(Preview)
Then turn it over. Easier said than done at least for me anyways. Im ok with doing the legwork - but the turning over still gets me sometimes. I have a tendency to obsess a bit on things (something Im sure noone here is familiar with lol). Yesterday I got great news that we were approved for a loan for a n...
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AlaMom
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2
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373
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i did a bad thing?
(Preview)
last night i went off on one of my ah friends, saying he was a bad influence on my husband and if things didn't change, i would make them change. when this guy or any of his friends come over it give him the right to drink and get away from me. He is saying i am the crazy one, i need help he wants to go to my therapy l...
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charr
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10
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558
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Louisville, here I come!
(Preview)
I GOT A JOB! I'm in the Americorp, in Louisville, KY! I start the last week of june. WooHoo! WhoopWhoop!
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Tiger2006
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6
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419
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Mouse in little box again...ughh!!
(Preview)
Okay I understand that we don't need to get our validation from other people, and I have hoped for just that all my life while continuing to choose men who are not communicative or very open emotionally. Husband of 15 years just didn't have it IQ wise. Current BF of 5 years is very smart, charming an...
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glad
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4
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680
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slips progress not perfection
(Preview)
My A has been in touch after nearly three weeks. I tried to understand he was ill while still trying to protect me. I have not allowed him back and have only seen him twice. I am aware he is trying to start the cycle agian promises that will not be kept, apologies that make me feel sorry for him. I care for h...
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Tracy
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5
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553
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Let Go and Let God
(Preview)
I was in an online alanon room and I saw the words Let Go and Let God, I'm grateful for that. Today has been one of those days when I have the instinct to force everything, or more to the point, force the people that I love and want to love me back so that I will feel better about myself. I have been doing this all...
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seekingserenity
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1
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449
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Giving away all my power to the A.
(Preview)
The A who I was once with calls maybe once every six weeks. No matter what I do or say he keeps up the calls. In his law of averages he feels I am sure that eventually I'll break down and feel sorry for him or say something that will somehow engage him. My only recourse through all this has to be really diligen...
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maresie
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2
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482
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AH out of the house and oldest son trying to take over
(Preview)
I finally get up the courage to get my AH out of the house in hopes that I can find some peace. Now my 18 year old is trying to take over. He is in his last week of High school and has no idea where he wants to go to school and has no financial aide. He goes to school for a few hours in the morning and then goes to work f...
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wildthang86
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8
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489
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gads what is the child rearing world coming too???/
(Preview)
Geez we have the addicts having drug affected babies,out to adoption. addicts keeping their kids,no supervision,no mentors... And now we have a generation of "parents" who want to be FRIENDS with their kids and wonder why they are writing on walls, uncontrollable, rrrrrr Today I was wa...
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debilyn
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4
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645
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So court will be dragged on
(Preview)
My AH and I went to small claims court today for our hearing on getting our security deposit back from our previous land lord. No surprise, she didn't show up. We sat in the courtroom with AC set to "Arctic" for a good hour until we were called, and then the judge reads a letter from her requesti...
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Aloha
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1
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378
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Question on giving power away?
(Preview)
In a case where one has "given their power away" by letting someone push your buttons "big time" and when one realizes it way too late. Like 2 years later or so, what to do? Contacting the person to "take your power back" would seem like just giving them more power. Si...
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glad
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8
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867
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on not being reactive
(Preview)
I think I have always been highly reactive. I grew up in a house where it was a fight to survive. I learned to just react, over react, react. These days I am trying not to be that way and its pretty much a mental discipline. Sometimes I do better than others. I keep having to look at my part in it and generally...
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maresie
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1
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365
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Mike1106 check your pm
(Preview)
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shadow1
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0
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314
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Things I can control or things I can't??
(Preview)
My issues I feel I can't control but think maybe I should find a way to are?? It's not my cat. I don't really like or dislike her. The cat pan is always full of poop, I have to empty it. It makes the house stink! The cat has kittens like a million times a year, babies stay in our bedroom and make it stink!! If I wan...
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glad
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3
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642
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Hello, I am a new member...
(Preview)
I just joined today. My AH was just removed from our home a week and half ago and for those of your familiar with that you know that a court hearing comes after that. I also requested that he not be allowed to see our children, one who is 18 and one who is 14. The AH got wind that I was filing for an Order of Protec...
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wildthang86
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8
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695
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news to cope with
(Preview)
Life keeps piling on me,it seems. Just got a call that my 88 year old Dad, newly widowed eight weeks ago, was taken to hospital this morning with weakness and vomiting. Now I sit waiting and worried about that. He is 1000 miles away and as it was with my mother, I am not nearby to provide anything to him....
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omajoy
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6
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411
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explosion
(Preview)
my birthday was on Friday and Mothers Day is today and it has been a miserable weekend. Let's start with Friday. My home health aide didn't acknowledge my birthday the entire day and she had plenty of chances cause it was acknowledged all day by other people. Now, I've always thought that if you knew it w...
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seekingserenity
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4
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385
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Busted!
(Preview)
This is my weekend with the kids, but my AH asked if he could have the kids tonight so he could take them to his mom's house and cook her dinner for Mother's Day. No problem for me. Now I get to go to al-anon! Anyhow, I texted him a quick message this evening because I wanted the kids ready so he wouldn't hang ar...
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Loupiness
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10
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556
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rough night...
(Preview)
Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent...
Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...
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amybear
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8
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622
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imagine it and it WILL come to pass
(Preview)
My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...
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omajoy
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6
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617
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What is WRONG with me?
(Preview)
Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...
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paulaque
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12
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748
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Pondering how the heck I got here
(Preview)
I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...
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debilyn
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6
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751
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need advice quickly
(Preview)
Hi everyone
Quick history
Son has been on opiates for over 2 years
He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night
He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days.
He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...
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cara33
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6
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500
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A question of emotions
(Preview)
As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...
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round3
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5
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743
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MY AH moved out
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...
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CJ098
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4
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568
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well he slipped
(Preview)
my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...
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bev
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4
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587
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Thanks
(Preview)
Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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382
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need advice asap!
(Preview)
I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...
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meagain
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10
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540
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How do I deal with...
(Preview)
...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...
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Suzannah
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4
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652
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My brother is in the hospital
(Preview)
Hello all....I'm brand new to this site.
My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...
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JohnL
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10
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855
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faith, courage & love
(Preview)
"What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...
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ddub
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1
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387
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what to do
(Preview)
Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...
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z28mama8
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7
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499
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Young People Taking a Pledge Not to use Drugs or Alcohol
(Preview)
My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...
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barbie
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4
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685
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