Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

The A who I was once with calls maybe once every six weeks. No matter what I do or say he keeps up the calls. In his law of averages he feels I am sure that eventually I'll break down and feel sorry for him or say something that will somehow engage him. My only recourse through all this has to be really diligen...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I finally get up the courage to get my AH out of the house in hopes that I can find some peace. Now my 18 year old is trying to take over. He is in his last week of High school and has no idea where he wants to go to school and has no financial aide. He goes to school for a few hours in the morning and then goes to work f...

debilyn · debilyn

Geez we have the addicts having drug affected babies,out to adoption. addicts keeping their kids,no supervision,no mentors... And now we have a generation of "parents" who want to be FRIENDS with their kids and wonder why they are writing on walls, uncontrollable, rrrrrr Today I was wa...

Aloha · Aloha

My AH and I went to small claims court today for our hearing on getting our security deposit back from our previous land lord. No surprise, she didn't show up. We sat in the courtroom with AC set to "Arctic" for a good hour until we were called, and then the judge reads a letter from her requesti...

glad · glad

In a case where one has "given their power away" by letting someone push your buttons "big time" and when one realizes it way too late. Like 2 years later or so, what to do? Contacting the person to "take your power back" would seem like just giving them more power. Si...

maresie · maresie

I think I have always been highly reactive. I grew up in a house where it was a fight to survive. I learned to just react, over react, react. These days I am trying not to be that way and its pretty much a mental discipline. Sometimes I do better than others. I keep having to look at my part in it and generally...

shadow1 · shadow1

Mike You have a pm

glad · glad

My issues I feel I can't control but think maybe I should find a way to are?? It's not my cat. I don't really like or dislike her. The cat pan is always full of poop, I have to empty it. It makes the house stink! The cat has kittens like a million times a year, babies stay in our bedroom and make it stink!! If I wan...

Hello, I am a new member... · wildthang86

I just joined today. My AH was just removed from our home a week and half ago and for those of your familiar with that you know that a court hearing comes after that. I also requested that he not be allowed to see our children, one who is 18 and one who is 14. The AH got wind that I was filing for an Order of Protec...

omajoy · omajoy

Life keeps piling on me,it seems. Just got a call that my 88 year old Dad, newly widowed eight weeks ago, was taken to hospital this morning with weakness and vomiting. Now I sit waiting and worried about that. He is 1000 miles away and as it was with my mother, I am not nearby to provide anything to him....

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

my birthday was on Friday and Mothers Day is today and it has been a miserable weekend. Let's start with Friday. My home health aide didn't acknowledge my birthday the entire day and she had plenty of chances cause it was acknowledged all day by other people. Now, I've always thought that if you knew it w...

Loupiness · Loupiness

This is my weekend with the kids, but my AH asked if he could have the kids tonight so he could take them to his mom's house and cook her dinner for Mother's Day. No problem for me. Now I get to go to al-anon! Anyhow, I texted him a quick message this evening because I wanted the kids ready so he wouldn't hang ar...

amybear · amybear

Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent... Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...

omajoy · omajoy

My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...

paulaque · paulaque

Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...

debilyn · debilyn

I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...

cara33 · cara33

Hi everyone Quick history Son has been on opiates for over 2 years He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days. He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...

round3 · round3

As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...

bev · bev

my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...

meagain · meagain

I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...

JohnL · JohnL

Hello all....I'm brand new to this site. My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...

ddub · ddub

"What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...

z28mama8 · z28mama8

Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...

barbie · barbie

My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Family)))) A very Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are a mother to children or pets or both like I am. May you all have a blessed Mothers Day!! Love, Claudia

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still struggling with MD! I am not very happy this time of year anymore! I have two mothers to celebrate with and not myself. I have never had children and regret it very much. I have wanted children but know that I shouldn't. It is a very tough decision I had to make, too. I will make it through, I k...

ddub · ddub

"More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking." I have been frustrated with stressed kids over failing grades and missing school, but today they are camping with scouts so all three of us can have a break from the pressure. My sleep has been poor and many naps to be rested for the...

norwood · norwood

Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.

krazykatlady · krazykatlady

I'm new here and new to any addiction board. I'm here to get some advice on dealing with my brother. My brother is 33 and is an alcoholic in denial. We haven't actually had a major talk about his drinking but I'm wondering if we should. He actually wrecked his truck on Jan. 5 of this year and thank God he didn...

RLC · RLC

Hello Everyone, I was a member of MIP for 3 wks . Last week I changed my name because my full name appeared on my post. With the help of jerry F, and David62 I was able to get that corrected. And, thanks again to Jerry,and David for helping. Anyway, that is not what I wanted to talk about today. I went to our g...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello Family I just spent the bank holiday weekend with my daughter and her family, and don't get me wrong it was one of the best times I have ever spent with her and the children. I give thanks for that, it was a first. Now I am back home, and I have been to my weekly hospital PMP session and I am so tired and low...

Jorbax · Jorbax

I wrote about my AB moving in w/ us at assumed rock bottom and messing up again. I wrote letter to him w no response. He will not talk about anything. I went to my 2nd AlAnon f2f mtg tonight. I realize that I am to focus on me and live for today only. But this will take much practice for me. I cannot help bu...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today's thought from Hazelden is: Daily, we determine our priorities. Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day. Being closely in touch with our inner selves a...

glad · glad

Someone else's post made me think... My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year. I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??n...

ditto · ditto

I was chatting with a man last night. He wants me to date him. He sent me the following eMail regarding a conversation we had last night: "Ah, yes, I remember. Sometimes I get fuzzy around evening conversations after long days and a glass of wine or two." Ok, you guys know that I am very conce...

still searching · still searching

Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the sa...

cara33 · cara33

Hi everyone.. I am not new to addiction forums I have been chatting with various people over the last few months when I finally came 'out' of denial and realized my son was an addict. I am here today to get to know some of you because I know I will need to know all there is to know about his stay in rehab, his ret...

glad · glad

I keep reading things here that remind me that my situation is not unique. I am so thankful for all of you here. And the opportunity to ask for your ideas. From your experiences what is up with the "A" when you write him a heartfelt letter regarding issues and he ignores it. I mean obviously he i...

omajoy · omajoy

I hope all mothers among you will have a wonderful day Sunday. I have dreaded Mother's Day Sunday for weeks....just as I dread almost all holidays for the past couple of years. When your family falls apart, any holiday is fraught with sadness and I just want them OVER!!! I helped the grandbaby make...

maresie · maresie

A year ago I was devasted that the A could respond to me with contempt on my birthday. I had no idea that one year later I could detach from that kind of venom or that I could consider living without him or obsessing about him 24/7. I am trying to look on that as a "present". Indeed I am trying t...

grizmom · grizmom

I have heard it said, several times, that eventually alcoholics/addicts fall into one of three categories: locked up, covered up or sobered up. My husband is locked up, my cousin was buried yesterday and I know some one who has 5 years of sobriety. My cousin was wonderful man. He was a beautiful per...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, hope you have all had a great week!!! I have been wondering how you would go about getting an al-anon meeting going in a town that dont have one.....my town has two different AA meetings, but no Al-Anon....I have been to both of the AA meetings and realize now they both have different peo...

Aloha · Aloha

I really dislike it when I have nightmares... you know how they can come across so "real" to you while you're sleeping, that even after waking, you sometimes wonder... "did that really happen?" I had a wonderful meditation session last night again, and went to bed feeling pr...

glad · glad

The more he makes you think you are the one with the problems, the more the focus is on you instead of him. It's a common alcoholic manipulation. I just read this in someone else's post and well I just had to say wow... I think maybe HP is directing me to continue to look at how I may be "restored to sanit...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My sponsor's wife and I are looking at Alanon literature to order for our meetings. Besides the meditation book, what else is recommended to keep on hand for meetings? Thanks in advance for any help? We've found several of the CAL books at amazon pretty cheap used.

Jorbax · Jorbax

How do you "detach" w love? I have only been able to make it to 1 meeting.....so a newcomer here......... I wrote last week about allowing my 58 yr old bro (who I thought had hit rock bottom) to move in w/ my family (hubby of 25 yrs, 9 yr old, 14 yr old and my 80 yr old mother w/ alzheimers). Should...

ddub · ddub

my 4th child has hit puberty and like the rest, depression has hit him hard this week. I have a dr. appt this afternoon for him and piles of makeup homework. 6th grade and he has a 12 page power point due Friday, good grief! here we go again.......I am so tired of this but it seems to be in the cards for us. I...

Aloha · Aloha

I've slowly been working on increasing the amount of meditation I do. Of course, before the beginning of the year, my mediation routine was pretty much non-existent. I'd meditate sometimes, and then not do it again for months. In the last couple weeks, I've been trying to at least meditate one ti...

Diva · Diva

During every unfortunate situation of our lives, there comes that "Aha" moment when we suddenly realize there is a door open straight ahead with a bright light shining to welcome us to a renewal of positive forces. I woke up this morning to an amazing revelation. I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Last week I posted a letter to someone who I am interested in but for all the wrong reasons. I can honestly say I would not be singing from the absolute honesty programme. Today the same letter was returned to me unopened as the address was slightly wrong. This would normally never happen and I t...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, I guess my codependency is alive and well. I've been thinking about my ex-AH....like, seeing if he wants to to go to a favorite restaurant we had together ....and maybe coming back to my place. Ugh.... I just had to get that out. It's insane, I know it. He is completely untrustworth...

cookie1973 · cookie1973

Hi everyone. I am 35 and my hubby is 48. We have been together for 14 years. Hubby is an alcoholic. He just entered rehab last Thurs. He has always been a drinker. I never thought much of it. He never harmed me or said anything abusive towards me. I guess I married a "happy drunk". Anyway, for yea...

glad · glad

Once you detach a little you begin to notice things you didn't really see clearly before. Behaviors that are so self defeating for A and myself. He says he wants to change certain things. Be more responsible, make a better plan for dealing with his money. Do more to help our around house, and drink less....

Loupiness · Loupiness

Had our meeting with the attorneys today. We sat around a 6-person conference table and the two chairs on either end were empty - I had God sitting on my left and all of you shared the other one. The way I saw it, God led the meeting and you all kept it under control. I thank you for that. I did pretty good, bu...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I hate when someone says or does something that brings my inner child in all her glory out. She feels deflated, frozen in the thought that she will forever be a screw up. This makes her sad because all she wants is to be recognized for the good that is in her instead of the bad all the time. She is also angry b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing? I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week. I have decid...

arty · arty

HI all, i havent posted in over a year. I broke up with my A last year because i couldnt deal with the drink anymore, and since then i have been so happy...most days. But recently i have been bumping into old friends whom i havent seen in a long time, so im finding myself explaining the breakup. It seems th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Giving away all my power to the A. (Preview) The A who I was once with calls maybe once every six weeks. No matter what I do or say he keeps up the calls. In his law of averages he feels I am sure that eventually I'll break down and feel sorry for him or say something that will somehow engage him. My only recourse through all this has to be really diligen...	maresie	2	424	May 14, 2008 by maresie
	AH out of the house and oldest son trying to take over (Preview) I finally get up the courage to get my AH out of the house in hopes that I can find some peace. Now my 18 year old is trying to take over. He is in his last week of High school and has no idea where he wants to go to school and has no financial aide. He goes to school for a few hours in the morning and then goes to work f...	wildthang86	8	427	May 14, 2008 by paulaque
	gads what is the child rearing world coming too???/ (Preview) Geez we have the addicts having drug affected babies,out to adoption. addicts keeping their kids,no supervision,no mentors... And now we have a generation of "parents" who want to be FRIENDS with their kids and wonder why they are writing on walls, uncontrollable, rrrrrr Today I was wa...	debilyn	4	578	May 14, 2008 by debilyn
	So court will be dragged on (Preview) My AH and I went to small claims court today for our hearing on getting our security deposit back from our previous land lord. No surprise, she didn't show up. We sat in the courtroom with AC set to "Arctic" for a good hour until we were called, and then the judge reads a letter from her requesti...	Aloha	1	320	May 14, 2008 by maresie
	Question on giving power away? (Preview) In a case where one has "given their power away" by letting someone push your buttons "big time" and when one realizes it way too late. Like 2 years later or so, what to do? Contacting the person to "take your power back" would seem like just giving them more power. Si...	glad	8	802	May 14, 2008 by canadianguy
	on not being reactive (Preview) I think I have always been highly reactive. I grew up in a house where it was a fight to survive. I learned to just react, over react, react. These days I am trying not to be that way and its pretty much a mental discipline. Sometimes I do better than others. I keep having to look at my part in it and generally...	maresie	1	311	May 14, 2008 by nmike
	Mike1106 check your pm (Preview) Mike You have a pm	shadow1	0	261	May 14, 2008 by shadow1
	Things I can control or things I can't?? (Preview) My issues I feel I can't control but think maybe I should find a way to are?? It's not my cat. I don't really like or dislike her. The cat pan is always full of poop, I have to empty it. It makes the house stink! The cat has kittens like a million times a year, babies stay in our bedroom and make it stink!! If I wan...	glad	3	585	May 14, 2008 by Peggy7
	Hello, I am a new member... (Preview) I just joined today. My AH was just removed from our home a week and half ago and for those of your familiar with that you know that a court hearing comes after that. I also requested that he not be allowed to see our children, one who is 18 and one who is 14. The AH got wind that I was filing for an Order of Protec...	wildthang86	8	639	May 14, 2008 by Peggy7
	news to cope with (Preview) Life keeps piling on me,it seems. Just got a call that my 88 year old Dad, newly widowed eight weeks ago, was taken to hospital this morning with weakness and vomiting. Now I sit waiting and worried about that. He is 1000 miles away and as it was with my mother, I am not nearby to provide anything to him....	omajoy	6	357	May 14, 2008 by Aloha
	explosion (Preview) my birthday was on Friday and Mothers Day is today and it has been a miserable weekend. Let's start with Friday. My home health aide didn't acknowledge my birthday the entire day and she had plenty of chances cause it was acknowledged all day by other people. Now, I've always thought that if you knew it w...	seekingserenity	4	328	May 13, 2008 by maresie
	Busted! (Preview) This is my weekend with the kids, but my AH asked if he could have the kids tonight so he could take them to his mom's house and cook her dinner for Mother's Day. No problem for me. Now I get to go to al-anon! Anyhow, I texted him a quick message this evening because I wanted the kids ready so he wouldn't hang ar...	Loupiness	10	501	May 13, 2008 by maresie
	rough night... (Preview) Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent... Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...	amybear	8	566	May 13, 2008 by amybear
	imagine it and it WILL come to pass (Preview) My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...	omajoy	6	550	May 13, 2008 by carolinagirl
	What is WRONG with me? (Preview) Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...	paulaque	12	690	May 13, 2008 by paulaque
	Pondering how the heck I got here (Preview) I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...	debilyn	6	690	May 13, 2008 by debilyn
	need advice quickly (Preview) Hi everyone Quick history Son has been on opiates for over 2 years He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days. He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...	cara33	6	444	May 13, 2008 by Christy
	A question of emotions (Preview) As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...	round3	5	676	May 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	MY AH moved out (Preview) Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...	CJ098	4	511	May 12, 2008 by glad
	well he slipped (Preview) my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...	bev	4	528	May 12, 2008 by maresie
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...	Hoot Nanny	1	329	May 12, 2008 by glad
	need advice asap! (Preview) I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...	meagain	10	482	May 12, 2008 by debilyn
	How do I deal with... (Preview) ...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...	Suzannah	4	593	May 12, 2008 by maresie
	My brother is in the hospital (Preview) Hello all....I'm brand new to this site. My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...	JohnL	10	783	May 12, 2008 by JohnL
	faith, courage & love (Preview) "What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...	ddub	1	331	May 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	what to do (Preview) Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...	z28mama8	7	434	May 12, 2008 by z28mama8
	Young People Taking a Pledge Not to use Drugs or Alcohol (Preview) My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...	barbie	4	536	May 12, 2008 by barbie
	HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! (Preview) (((((Family)))) A very Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are a mother to children or pets or both like I am. May you all have a blessed Mothers Day!! Love, Claudia	cookie1971	2	269	May 11, 2008 by Maria123
	Another Mother's Day! (Preview) I am still struggling with MD! I am not very happy this time of year anymore! I have two mothers to celebrate with and not myself. I have never had children and regret it very much. I have wanted children but know that I shouldn't. It is a very tough decision I had to make, too. I will make it through, I k...	Hoot Nanny	3	422	May 11, 2008 by round3
	A new way, a new day, a good day (Preview) "More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking." I have been frustrated with stressed kids over failing grades and missing school, but today they are camping with scouts so all three of us can have a break from the pressure. My sleep has been poor and many naps to be rested for the...	ddub	5	703	May 11, 2008 by Tracy
	My newest favorite quote to live by about letting go of anger and resentment (Preview) Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.	norwood	2	556	May 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	New- talk to my brother? (Preview) I'm new here and new to any addiction board. I'm here to get some advice on dealing with my brother. My brother is 33 and is an alcoholic in denial. We haven't actually had a major talk about his drinking but I'm wondering if we should. He actually wrecked his truck on Jan. 5 of this year and thank God he didn...	krazykatlady	2	454	May 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	I was reminded of the horrible disease again today!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I was a member of MIP for 3 wks . Last week I changed my name because my full name appeared on my post. With the help of jerry F, and David62 I was able to get that corrected. And, thanks again to Jerry,and David for helping. Anyway, that is not what I wanted to talk about today. I went to our g...	RLC	1	523	May 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	Depression - I hate it! Really low! (Preview) Hello Family I just spent the bank holiday weekend with my daughter and her family, and don't get me wrong it was one of the best times I have ever spent with her and the children. I give thanks for that, it was a first. Now I am back home, and I have been to my weekly hospital PMP session and I am so tired and low...	Suzannah	7	590	May 10, 2008 by serendipity
	What do i do now?............... (Preview) I wrote about my AB moving in w/ us at assumed rock bottom and messing up again. I wrote letter to him w no response. He will not talk about anything. I went to my 2nd AlAnon f2f mtg tonight. I realize that I am to focus on me and live for today only. But this will take much practice for me. I cannot help bu...	Jorbax	5	763	May 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	Priorities (Preview) Today's thought from Hazelden is: Daily, we determine our priorities. Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day. Being closely in touch with our inner selves a...	Tiger2006	4	327	May 10, 2008 by ddub
	Birthdays! (Preview) Someone else's post made me think... My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year. I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??n...	glad	3	324	May 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	Is This A Huge Clue? (Preview) I was chatting with a man last night. He wants me to date him. He sent me the following eMail regarding a conversation we had last night: "Ah, yes, I remember. Sometimes I get fuzzy around evening conversations after long days and a glass of wine or two." Ok, you guys know that I am very conce...	ditto	9	714	May 10, 2008 by arty
	drinking and work (Preview) Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the sa...	still searching	3	415	May 9, 2008 by Jerry F
	son leaving for rehab @ 1:30 today (Preview) Hi everyone.. I am not new to addiction forums I have been chatting with various people over the last few months when I finally came 'out' of denial and realized my son was an addict. I am here today to get to know some of you because I know I will need to know all there is to know about his stay in rehab, his ret...	cara33	10	657	May 9, 2008 by cara33
	Letters to your "A"? (Preview) I keep reading things here that remind me that my situation is not unique. I am so thankful for all of you here. And the opportunity to ask for your ideas. From your experiences what is up with the "A" when you write him a heartfelt letter regarding issues and he ignores it. I mean obviously he i...	glad	9	676	May 9, 2008 by Jorbax
	cannot bear holidays (Preview) I hope all mothers among you will have a wonderful day Sunday. I have dreaded Mother's Day Sunday for weeks....just as I dread almost all holidays for the past couple of years. When your family falls apart, any holiday is fraught with sadness and I just want them OVER!!! I helped the grandbaby make...	omajoy	7	433	May 9, 2008 by Jill
	Birthday tomorrow (Preview) A year ago I was devasted that the A could respond to me with contempt on my birthday. I had no idea that one year later I could detach from that kind of venom or that I could consider living without him or obsessing about him 24/7. I am trying to look on that as a "present". Indeed I am trying t...	maresie	8	448	May 9, 2008 by Tracy
	Deeply angered (Preview) I have heard it said, several times, that eventually alcoholics/addicts fall into one of three categories: locked up, covered up or sobered up. My husband is locked up, my cousin was buried yesterday and I know some one who has 5 years of sobriety. My cousin was wonderful man. He was a beautiful per...	grizmom	9	492	May 9, 2008 by stariana
	new al-anon meetings (Preview) Hello All, hope you have all had a great week!!! I have been wondering how you would go about getting an al-anon meeting going in a town that dont have one.....my town has two different AA meetings, but no Al-Anon....I have been to both of the AA meetings and realize now they both have different peo...	acjmom	3	500	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	Dreams / Nightmares (Preview) I really dislike it when I have nightmares... you know how they can come across so "real" to you while you're sleeping, that even after waking, you sometimes wonder... "did that really happen?" I had a wonderful meditation session last night again, and went to bed feeling pr...	Aloha	5	432	May 9, 2008 by Jerry F
	Oh how we help eachother! (Preview) *The more he makes you think you are the one with the problems, the more the focus is on you instead of him. It's a common alcoholic manipulation.* I just read this in someone else's post and well I just had to say wow... I think maybe HP is directing me to continue to look at how I may be "restored to sanit...	glad	3	610	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	Question on literature for meetings (Preview) My sponsor's wife and I are looking at Alanon literature to order for our meetings. Besides the meditation book, what else is recommended to keep on hand for meetings? Thanks in advance for any help? We've found several of the CAL books at amazon pretty cheap used.	Tenderheartsks	4	593	May 9, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Need help...How do you.................. (Preview) How do you "detach" w love? I have only been able to make it to 1 meeting.....so a newcomer here......... I wrote last week about allowing my 58 yr old bro (who I thought had hit rock bottom) to move in w/ my family (hubby of 25 yrs, 9 yr old, 14 yr old and my 80 yr old mother w/ alzheimers). Should...	Jorbax	6	679	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	family mental health (Preview) my 4th child has hit puberty and like the rest, depression has hit him hard this week. I have a dr. appt this afternoon for him and piles of makeup homework. 6th grade and he has a 12 page power point due Friday, good grief! here we go again.......I am so tired of this but it seems to be in the cards for us. I...	ddub	4	321	May 9, 2008 by nmike
	Meditation (Preview) I've slowly been working on increasing the amount of meditation I do. Of course, before the beginning of the year, my mediation routine was pretty much non-existent. I'd meditate sometimes, and then not do it again for months. In the last couple weeks, I've been trying to at least meditate one ti...	Aloha	4	450	May 9, 2008 by Aloha
	Free at last!!!!!! (Preview) During every unfortunate situation of our lives, there comes that "Aha" moment when we suddenly realize there is a door open straight ahead with a bright light shining to welcome us to a renewal of positive forces. I woke up this morning to an amazing revelation. I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!...	Diva	13	502	May 9, 2008 by leo
	HP working in mysterious ways (Preview) Dear All, Last week I posted a letter to someone who I am interested in but for all the wrong reasons. I can honestly say I would not be singing from the absolute honesty programme. Today the same letter was returned to me unopened as the address was slightly wrong. This would normally never happen and I t...	maire rua	2	555	May 8, 2008 by glad
	Missing him (Preview) Dear Family, I guess my codependency is alive and well. I've been thinking about my ex-AH....like, seeing if he wants to to go to a favorite restaurant we had together ....and maybe coming back to my place. Ugh.... I just had to get that out. It's insane, I know it. He is completely untrustworth...	glad lee	3	488	May 8, 2008 by maresie
	New here and need to vent this before I explode!!(long and sorry for that) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am 35 and my hubby is 48. We have been together for 14 years. Hubby is an alcoholic. He just entered rehab last Thurs. He has always been a drinker. I never thought much of it. He never harmed me or said anything abusive towards me. I guess I married a "happy drunk". Anyway, for yea...	cookie1973	7	594	May 8, 2008 by cookie1973
	Odd behavior? (Preview) Once you detach a little you begin to notice things you didn't really see clearly before. Behaviors that are so self defeating for A and myself. He says he wants to change certain things. Be more responsible, make a better plan for dealing with his money. Do more to help our around house, and drink less....	glad	2	303	May 8, 2008 by Jen
	and I 'm not devastated... (Preview) Had our meeting with the attorneys today. We sat around a 6-person conference table and the two chairs on either end were empty - I had God sitting on my left and all of you shared the other one. The way I saw it, God led the meeting and you all kept it under control. I thank you for that. I did pretty good, bu...	Loupiness	8	664	May 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	I hate this (Preview) I hate when someone says or does something that brings my inner child in all her glory out. She feels deflated, frozen in the thought that she will forever be a screw up. This makes her sad because all she wants is to be recognized for the good that is in her instead of the bad all the time. She is also angry b...	seekingserenity	5	365	May 8, 2008 by Jen
	I forgot to mention... (Preview) Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing? I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week. I have decid...	carolinagirl	6	561	May 8, 2008 by serendipity
	why does it bother me so much? (Preview) HI all, i havent posted in over a year. I broke up with my A last year because i couldnt deal with the drink anymore, and since then i have been so happy...most days. But recently i have been bumping into old friends whom i havent seen in a long time, so im finding myself explaining the breakup. It seems th...	arty	12	816	May 8, 2008 by Diva
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.