The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{they live only about 5 trailors from us now}he took a day or 2 off work,we got back here may2 and when he went to work that monday morning may 5 i snooped in the garbage outside and sure enough i found beer cans,and he also did drugs,i told him when i picked him up from work i had enough the trust is gone..i asked why he slipped he said it is because i wasnt there,that itself is an excuse,i went on to tell him i didnt love love him anymore,cause the trust has been broken once again,he says shut the hell up,im done i should have never come back,i was free until i came back last june i should have stayed away..i also told him i am tired of being treated like shit..i do everything he does nothing{i do all the cooking,dishes wash,take the dogs out ,the garbage everything,and he does nothing for me i also have to take him to and from work..he doesnt say i love you kiss me hug me or anything else,i heard from one of his former aa buddies a few months ago that he only wanted me back cause of the money and for something to do everything for him...since my daughter moved down i have bben at her almost the whole time he is home i come home when he is in bed just to avoid him,i really need to go to a lawyer and see what i can do to get him out...i know it is going to hurt moneywise but i will be a much better mother and grandmother to my daughter and grandchildren if he is gone..i have been down this road with him to many times{8 times in rehab 4 duis since 98}i just do this anymore,i really hope the lawyer says i can have him evicted since the home is in my name only.but this is florida,so who knows what the laws r here.............[lease pray that i can get him,before he really starts drinking more{he also has exploysive anger disorder and bipolar}and im afraid of him
Have you attended any face to face Al-Anon meetings? I would suggest doing as many as you can over the next 90 days before making any real deep decisions. Get there, get as much literature as you can and read it all. It's not to leave out for him but for yourself. Sit and listen, listen, listen to the experiences before, after and now and practice the steps, slogans and traditions plus anything else that you think may help you. See if there is someone special there who has qualities that you like and ask them to either sponsor you and if not just help you out with the program. It will make a world of difference in you and the right decisions will be much easier to make with less negative consequences.
Keep coming back here also. Too bad he went back out...alcoholism and drug addiction is hell of the user and the family. This disease kills after it causes insanity.
We have all been there in some way or another. I do know what it is like to live with someone who is totally self destructing. The main thing is for you to take care of you and work out what is the best transition for you.
for you. Please do what you have to to keep yourself safe.