The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome.
You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc
Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being grateful.
Against, I cannot go on like this, so tired of the grieving, how can people go on being alone day in and day out? Go thru times of just wishing to join my family....but if I did,I would not ever see them again....(suicide,just an option,never attempted)
Not having a conversation for weeks, months.Never touched.
Living in conditions,that the AH left you,as he lives off, being a parasite on another. Having it all.
Well all the physical stuff.
I am grateful as i have the most important thing, love for and from my hp. Miracles happen every single day. I feel faith and the sweet smelling wind on my face, thru my hair.
He feels like walking dead every day.
It is very hard to lose everyone in your life to death. Since I am very devote and believe in the Bible,I live so differently than the "world." Would never sleep with anyone unless I was married, don't use profanity,do not steal, will take something back into the store if they did not charge me.
Will always put aside about anything, to help an animal or humans suffering.
Most people think I am stupid for this. I don't care at all. The point is..... well what is it?
Just venting, do my best not to look around and think, he came he/disease, beat me up,took everything I had,left me homeless,ruined my credit and left.
But he did not take my dignity, or integrity. I have something NO ONE can take from me, my relationship with my hp. It is always first.always.
I don't know how anyone could keep going in this world without that precious gift.
Earthquakes, food shortages, transport over the top fuel prices, people not caring about their own families, things used to be considered immoral,now ok in the world.
So the AH, for me is getting further and further to being a tiny piece of gravel in my life. Well we know how one tiny pebble can drive us nuts....
Well I get to go do yet another fence. Estersue and FannieAlice get some new, green, beautiful pasture today.They are my monster farm pigs....Can't ya just see them? Two huge pink pigs with big ears and long snouters,laying in the grass,feeling the sun on their tummies?
I guess hp really knows me.As long as my animals are ok, I am ok.
Hopefully that pepple will move into a place where it won't bug me today....
Debilyn of Potter's Eden, I do like you a whole lot!!! You are a woman of my heart and your expressions of belief in the basic morals of human decency are so heartfelt and I believe you with all I've got that these basics are the way you survive.
It would be so wonderful if many, many more people in this world would be honest and caring. I don't know what has happened to the world anymore; I feel like an alien at times...a really old out-of-it alien. Back in the 60's, when I was part of that massive youth generation, even then I felt old and out of it. I married at 19 and was a mother before I turned 21. I tried and still do to live right, do the right thing according to the 10 Commandments, my spiritual upbringing, take the high road. I have tried to do this all of my life.
Now I am 65 to be 66 in a few months. And like you, even though I am sure you are younger than I, try to live right. You asked "what the point is...?" and I understand that. In spite of trying to live right, you feel as if life has dealt you some bad hands. Me, too. Me, too. It is often difficult not to sink into pits of despair for our troubles. But look at you!!! You, Debilyn of Potter's Eden, are a survivor. In spite of the failures of other, you are still here, still giving your HP credit, still living to do the right thing, still being moral when it isn't the popular stance in the world today. So for today, just take care of Debilyn. Try to put each foot forward and allow yourself to be supported by your HP and by those of us who have read your post today and have smiled, knowing how special you are.
Blessings to you and those in your care. I do indeed like you a whole lot!!
You got to where you are because you are an honest, kind, moral person who will do right for anyone of your fellow humankind and animals. You got here because you have a big heart and compassion and walk a narrow path with integrity, love and caring.
You are going through another of those dark days of reflection that creep up on you and seem to take over.
Rest Debilyn, put on the music, pamper yourself and do you lovely nails. Be a feminine, gentle, caring person to yourself right now and take time out for you.
And remember that I might be over the sea and far away but I am with you in spirit, praying for God's blessings and peace to surround you and make you strong and whole and happy again.
I am asking that He will not rain on your parade, but bring you sunshine and a cool breeze and all that you need for today.
With love, always, special lady. Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Ya know I am not feeling bad,it is how it is. I really was just thinking.
I am glad to hear you relate to my being so different than the norm. lol I really did not have a point.lol I thought maybe as I wrote the feelings down, one would come to me! lol
I know what you meant though. But lady I tell ya, I KNOW the point now.There is a BIG miracle coming. My goal has been for many years now,that I keep searching for the truth,follow the HP laws to the letter,and be the best person I can be. Hopefully helping others to have hope.
Yep geez loueez my life has sure been interesting...like "someone" is doing their best to make me turn against my hp. Not going to happen.
Alanon sure has made me a stronger person, mellower,and serene. Sue sue oops that is what I call Estersue my pig!! HEY take that as a compliment.
I love my tape, thank you over and over. well no dahling no dark days, really pondering.
And there was a bit of sun today!! We are to have a couple days of rain,was cold enough for coats this morn, then omg it will hit us hard, 90'!! Oregon has gotten so weird. No more of those 70' to 80' mellow days hardly. gotta get out there and dig out the piggies mud spa.....lol half has a liner, half is nice soft mud.
Sue I am resting too much. I wake up thinking today I will do this and this and this. then I don't. do other things but not the heavy duty stuff that needs done.
But I have beds ready to put pumpkin and sunflowers into!! If all the seeds come up it will be a jungle. gardening is a major thing I do for me. therapy. did you get some sweet peas in???ya gotta ya gotta.
Wish I could find a way to go to a counselor to help me with this grieving stuff. Counseling helps me,now don't have insurance to cover it.
Since I am a counselor,it has to be someone good, that knows their stuff. Need more than I can tell myself.... well thank you for your responses.It helps me more than you guys know. got mouths to stuff.love,debilyn
Debilyn.......I find myself so relating to your post, experiencing much of the same things. My faith in my hp is also what brings me through. The reference to the pebble is so amazing, because thats what my a has become. Right now on the radio there is a country song by Emily....something....about learning to walk with rocks in your shoes, that song always lifts me up when I'm feeling a little down. Ty for posting, it hit home for me.....grateful
Just want to let you know I am thinking of you. I enjoy reading your thoughts; it's as if I am in your head. I don't enjoy the sad stuff, of course, but am glad you can honestly share.
You know there are counseling services that offer a sliding scale. May be a benficial thing to look into.
I KNOW you have a miracle coming. That's why I keep coming back.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
grateful, thank you for your words. it always amazes me that someone will relate becuz I feel like I am jabbering jibberish.lol
Lou, believe me I have looked and looked and there is nothing here that offers a sliding scale.
I did send a email to dr.Phil. lol I did really.
Then I did the questions he asked about our chain of our life etc. Could see how healthy I am, how far things have come in my noggin.
oh NOOOO you are in MY head??? is there room around all those marbles???? lol hugs,debilyn who has to keep getting up to put her Amazon parrot back on her perch. she keeps flying to my head, then will walk to my covers, go underneath and chew holes in my t shirt or nightgown....NOt tonight honey I have a headache...OH and she looks at me and says,"are you okkkkkkkk?" "do you need help? I love you ree, good boy ree" Reeba is a girl....silly poop
