The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was in an online alanon room and I saw the words Let Go and Let God, I'm grateful for that. Today has been one of those days when I have the instinct to force everything, or more to the point, force the people that I love and want to love me back so that I will feel better about myself. I have been doing this all day and I have that sick feeling in my stomach because I know this is not right. I know that I need to let go and let God because forcing things to conform to my will is going to lead to heartbreak and continued misery for me. So, I need to just surrender how I feel to my HP, know that HP loves me and is with me, and just relax...Thanks for listening...
I know for me I fought so hard to get a few scraps from everyone around me. Recently I've begun to see the person who I fought the hardest with to get anything from was "me". I internalized that from my parents but really if I give myself, approval, unconditional love, acceptance I'm not so desperate to get "it" from those around me. Whatever I get from them is a bonus.
