Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

buick23 · buick23

I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...

susannah · susannah

I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...

Maria123 · Maria123

Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...

lmw · lmw

Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...

susannah · susannah

I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...

charlescharles · charlescharles

feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...

maresie · b

Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...

untitled33 · untitled33

Hi, I was considering going to an Al-Anon meeting, but can't find any close enough, soon enough, so I found this board instead. I recently graduated college, and work full time now. I've been out of my parent's house for about 6 years. I myself am very familiar with 12-step programs, as I attended one du...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I sit here, trying to figure out what to say, all of these half thoughts are racing thru my mind. Asober b/f came to me this morning and told him how very sorry he was/is that things got so out of control the other night. He told me that I had nothing to fear from him, that he would never hurt me physically...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I am living in the same house as AH and am trying to get seperated. It's a slow and not very productive proccess. He was arrested for DUI 2 1/2 weeks ago. I told him he had to leave. e would half ass look in the classified adds but never did a thing and continues to drink (oh so discreetly) in the house. Last nig...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have not heard from, nor spoken to my parents since I made it clear I was stepping out of the drama involving AD's totaled car and her now driving the Nissan. This morning I went to check email, and as all the messages were downloading, I did catch a glimpse of Dad's email address as it went to trash (I set a...

buick23 · buick23

It's funny how one day is good, the next isn't, then it changes again. Again, he's showing me how selfish he is, and arguments about little stupid things come up, but they really have a bigger meaning. This last argument was about catlitter. He used to always buy the catfood and litter. Now he refuses to...

mslouise · mslouise

The last couple of days I have been trying real hard to focus on me more. I am reading the toby rice book that I received from Canidianguy and my ODAT book and going to meetings. I have been trying not to worry about how my bf has been hanging with his friend alot lately. If I have spare time, I have be...

maresie · maresie

Last night my landlord who I could really have a difficult relationship with if I did not detach came to the house I live in. Many of the people who rent from him have a very difficult relationship with him. I certainly used to. At one point when he was speaking to several of us he volunteered a political o...

Codependent · Codependent

Okay so Canada Guy sent me Getting the Sober and I have started reading. I am also reading "When you love them more than they love you". I am also reading the Alanon book. I am posting here and over on the NA site some. Yet, I keep coming up with these questions...Why does he resent me so much? It...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I feel as if I am losing my mind. Funny how when push comes to shove, the people who offer you help renig on their offer. I got kinda beaten up last night by asober b/f. I am so scared, I am so poor and I am so desperate. I truly feel that there is no one who can help me, and I am not in a situation to help myself r...

susannah · susannah

I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I wi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I always get excited when a hurricane is coming. I think this is part of my drama/chaos addiction. I can feel the thrill of excitement in the air as it closes in, no fear just anticipation. I know that's kinda silly considering the destruction and danger that comes with them, but I can't help myself. So...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been detaching from my partners life haning it back to him more and more as I develop in Al anomn. Mircles are beginning to slowely happen as I make healthy choices for me and leave his choices to him. HP is working with him and I am trying to concentrate on me. Juat when I thought I am getting this a...

Codependent · Codependent

Apparently the A told his sister in law that even though he is now with the girl he got arrested with she is good for him as she is clean now. He said that I am not good for him as when we go out all I want to do is use! I know I mentioned last week that we used together- both times we went out. I am not making excus...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Just wanted to let you all know, Piper was given a clean bill of health today! She even managed to gain back some weight. The vet was very pleased. I could tell she was getting back to her normal self. Last Sunday when I came home from work, I walked into the bedroom to find not one...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just sort of pissed off tonight..fueled..angry..resentful..full of hate and rage at my a and at myself for letting her go..keeping her around..talking with her and not talking with her pissed at some of the things that went down between me and her...fights..punches to the face..spitting on each o...

buick23 · buick23

I have learned that A's still have many of the traits they had when they were active. One thing that shocked me was that a lot of them still lie. That has gotten me thinking. More reason for me not to trust him, but I've decided I won't obsess over it. I'm tired of him doing nothing but watching TV at home. I me...

suzip · suzip

I had a great day with my Ah yesterday, he was very upbeat, great mood, very positive actually for the first time about his soon to be jail time(just a matter of time till he turns himself in) and today it is back to Mr. Downer. I have been having a great summer with friends and taking care of myself and my kid...

susannah · susannah

Hi~ I need some thoughts on whether you think I am in the right place. My father was an alcoholic growing up. There are many, many memories of embarassment, shame, anxiety, anger and denial. On the outside, it was all denial. I smiled through every embarrassing moment just as my mother did. She was like...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I am almost done....I have my plan b in motion and will carry it out probably over this upcoming weekend. What has been happening here for the past 24 hours is just making it so much more unbearable. I thought I would have time to prepare and plan better, but with the support of a good, no make that great,...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, Have enjoyed reading the post, especially Maresie's in relation to guarding private space. I am up the walls as usual but detaching from my step mom's daughers, two of which are half sisters are mine. She having radiation for brain cancer and I rang and spoke to her today, she was civil, unfortu...

charlescharles · charlescharles

12 in the morning..night time..dark night..quiet once again my mind races to my a..haven't heard from her tonight..a blessing in disguise?...or just a blessing!! don't mean to sound cruel..as i do miss her and do feel a bit uptight that she may be hooking up with someone else..but i got to give all of t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Went to the Boy Scouts awards ceremony and planning meeting last night. I painfully sat through the whole thing with my preschooler on my lap and my daughter beside me. I volunteered my AH for two fundraising activities (that he has done in the past) and I volunteered myself for, get this, NOTHING!...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

...although it isnt directly related to addicts. I was given a gift from my sister this weekend. Its a book by Harold H. Bloomfield called "How to Survive The Loss of a Love". As I said, although it isnt directly related to addicts, it can certainly apply to the end of a relationship with one...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi I'm still reeling from being asked by my partner to end our relationship.Before he went into rehab we were all good. I think now I've been really stupid. He's a great guy and really didnt plan on hurting me. I feel bad that I could of have messed up his recovery. Thank God he's got the strength to do the...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi guys, really struggling this morning re: housing...I just moved to a new part of the country and am living in a temporary situation in a shared household with another woman- its OK but not ideal. I have this picture in my mind of what I want and I found it (I think) but cannot afford it yet. I am trying to c...

mslouise · mslouise

Well, as a follow up to my previous post about me looking in my bfsober phone, here is what happened. I went home ready to admit what I did, and ready for him to get angry and leave. Because that is what I expected because it was what he did when he was drinking...you don't trust me etc. But the differe...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

It is so easy for me to get overwhelmed with 5 online classes, I have my disability hearing next month (finally), and always practicing detachment from the youngest AD. For those of us taking online classes, we can find a proctor to monitor our final exams vs. driving to the campus. Yesterday I contact...

Leetle · Leetle

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am starting a new job, putting my four and a half month old baby in daycare for the first time, having my mother handle transporation and errands for my older daughter, who turns five years old tomorrow, too!!! I am feeling optimistic tonight, that everything will go wel...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Friends! I am Tonya and I live in Terrebonne Parish Louisiana. That is where Gustav 1st hit land. For the first time ever in my life, I have ran from a hurricane. We went to family in Shreveport. My mom's family. I evacuated with my AHusband, my NABrother in Law and my A Mother. With my NA Uncl...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Its been a while since I have posted, and though I thought things were going well, I was wrong. My asoberb/f is coming into some money. We have known about this for a few months. When he told me about it, he promised me that half of that money would be for me. I told him I would not expect otherw...

Codependent · Codependent

I am trying really hard to not react to the things going on in the A's life. Though this morning when his boss texted me to see if I knew where he was, I not only suggested where I thought but also texted my sister in law to let him know they were looking for him. When I did it I knew I was overstepping. I am tryi...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I have to admit that I was very nervous about how things were going to work out with my AH moving back in. I had accepted that he was going to keep drinking and quite when he chose to do so. I was able to do that because I have put so much work into my program. I do have my eyes wide open, watching what he does and no...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i just feel like free writing this morning it is a very nice morning here...the sun is out..kind of quiet around here right now i plan on going to a 12 15 aa meeting today..its one of my favorites at the moment my a is still in detroit and i am somewhat glad she is there..all though we are still in contact...m...

stormie · stormie

It's been one year since my AH has been out of detox/rehab. He has, that I know of, slipped up a few times and drank. How much at any given time? I don't know, for I don't inquire any longer. It's his business, not mine. The other day I caught him hiding a Pepsi bottle (about a 16 oz) in the bottom of his bo...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I finally called my ex's counsellor at rehab. Apparently the reason she wanted to talk with me specifically is because he has told her that I am his significant other. He told her that we are getting engaged and to be married this winter. WHOA! News to me. I dont know his reasons for giving her...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((((((My Friends)))))))))))))), Today I start school. For some unknown reason, I am feeling fearful. Fearful about so many things -- security (the city at night), financing my education and not excelling in classes -- to name a few. If you happen to be thinking of me today, would you please...

angel123 · angel123

Thank you for the love and support,love Sharon/angel123

mslouise · mslouise

I need help. I found out my bf lied to me about something. I gave him plenty of chances to say something but he never did. There has been issues with his best friend and best friends girlfriend. My bf promised me he would tell me if the gf contacted him for any reason, even if small. Well, I found out she...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

More progreess! Got some more stuff out of apt. & moved into "our" place. I am so looking forward to the end of the month when everything is over & I can rest easy. I know it won't be easy all the time & that there are no guarantees. I just have to take it one day at a time & trudg...

Kary · Kary

I went to my first F2F Alanon meeting on Friday and felt some hope for the first time in a while. Then yesterday, AH started drinking in the afternoon and started sending me these weird texts in which he basically told me that I was only concerned with my own happiness and not his. THen he blasted my friend...

Codependent · Codependent

I called the A to see if he wanted to go to the lake and he said he would call me back. He then called back to say that he thought he would have Janelle bring him as she was there. She would just be dropping him off as she had to go to work. Janelle is the girl he was arrested with a few months ago that he still ta...

charlescharles · charlescharles

another day is setting to start and here i am once again...trying to play my part..in all good and bad happy days to us all..if that is our higher powers will for us..looking foward to whatever he has to bring for me but i need more...i need more strength more courage..more wisdom..more certainty..and...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Is it true they will write a letter and just mail it if they just can't 'see' the person and do it face to face to make amends? Also, it sounds like the sponsor has an awful lot of weight in this process, what if they aren't a good influence, they are not licensed counselors.

Codependent · Codependent

Woke up this morning and found out that the A also went out last night with a group of friends. Obviously did not ask me to go. I really am trying to detach, but how do you fight this feeling of anxiety, of jealousy, of HURT? Thanks so much for letting me get this out. This board is such a lifesaver for me....

Joanp62 · Joanp62

I had to submit my post before I was finished because the cursor froze up and wouldn't let me post more. I know this is long, I am sorry, but I am desperate also. Before you say that maybe he needed to get away from me because I was hindering his sobriety or anything like that, please know that is not the case...

Joanp62 · Joanp62

Hi I really hope someone can give me some answers here, I am at the end of my rope. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married 23 years. Things did not get really that bad until about 4 years ago, then he really started to lose control. Fortunately afte 2 years he started going to AA, a local group in th...

Mariner · Mariner

My partner iwent to rehab two months ago, he's doing really well and started step 2 last week. He was advised by group leader against being in a relationship whilst recovering. He was upset and has spent the last week thinking on this, tonight he asked me to tell him that I dont want to see him agai...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just got home from a pretty full day all though all is not well but i think the universe and the will of my hp helped me make a few decisions today that hopefully...or with out doubt..where the right decisions to make i made two meetings today..one of them was a fourth step meeting and the underlining aspe...

buick23 · buick23

My "Astarkravingsober" has been grumpy for 2 days now. He complains about stupid things. Of course I ended up arguing with him, couldn't help myself. Really I was defending myself and trying to show him my point which he did not care about. He's playing the blame game again, and again, I am n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	sharing alanon words (Preview) I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...	buick23	6	539	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Couage to let go (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...	Rocky38	3	1052	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Picking a sponsor (Preview) I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...	susannah	6	536	Sep 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	And then comes the dawn . . . (Preview) Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...	Maria123	6	1024	Sep 6, 2008 by Loupiness
	Necessity is the mother of invention... (Preview) I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...	Tenderheartsks	5	507	Sep 6, 2008 by lin0606
	Still Lost (Preview) Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...	Mariner	4	516	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling sad tonight (Preview) Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...	lmw	4	551	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...	Mariner	4	465	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Getting past step one.... (Preview) I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...	susannah	5	483	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	discontent this morning (Preview) feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...	charlescharles	4	505	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling so angry and disappointed! (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...	b	3	461	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	An incredibly long introductory post (Preview) Hi, I was considering going to an Al-Anon meeting, but can't find any close enough, soon enough, so I found this board instead. I recently graduated college, and work full time now. I've been out of my parent's house for about 6 years. I myself am very familiar with 12-step programs, as I attended one du...	untitled33	4	602	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	so now what? (Preview) As I sit here, trying to figure out what to say, all of these half thoughts are racing thru my mind. Asober b/f came to me this morning and told him how very sorry he was/is that things got so out of control the other night. He told me that I had nothing to fear from him, that he would never hurt me physically...	liljeannie	10	631	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	withholding information (Preview) I am living in the same house as AH and am trying to get seperated. It's a slow and not very productive proccess. He was arrested for DUI 2 1/2 weeks ago. I told him he had to leave. e would half ass look in the classified adds but never did a thing and continues to drink (oh so discreetly) in the house. Last nig...	RainyJamie	7	1086	Sep 6, 2008 by CJ
	Staying out of the drama between youngest AD and my parents (Preview) I have not heard from, nor spoken to my parents since I made it clear I was stepping out of the drama involving AD's totaled car and her now driving the Nissan. This morning I went to check email, and as all the messages were downloading, I did catch a glimpse of Dad's email address as it went to trash (I set a...	Tenderheartsks	5	597	Sep 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	arguments about stupid little things (Preview) It's funny how one day is good, the next isn't, then it changes again. Again, he's showing me how selfish he is, and arguments about little stupid things come up, but they really have a bigger meaning. This last argument was about catlitter. He used to always buy the catfood and litter. Now he refuses to...	buick23	9	598	Sep 5, 2008 by lin0606
	I know what this means when my bf said this...focus on me (Preview) The last couple of days I have been trying real hard to focus on me more. I am reading the toby rice book that I received from Canidianguy and my ODAT book and going to meetings. I have been trying not to worry about how my bf has been hanging with his friend alot lately. If I have spare time, I have be...	mslouise	7	537	Sep 5, 2008 by lin0606
	rewards of detachment (Preview) Last night my landlord who I could really have a difficult relationship with if I did not detach came to the house I live in. Many of the people who rent from him have a very difficult relationship with him. I certainly used to. At one point when he was speaking to several of us he volunteered a political o...	maresie	4	459	Sep 5, 2008 by maresie
	Resentment (Preview) Okay so Canada Guy sent me Getting the Sober and I have started reading. I am also reading "When you love them more than they love you". I am also reading the Alanon book. I am posting here and over on the NA site some. Yet, I keep coming up with these questions...Why does he resent me so much? It...	Codependent	6	672	Sep 5, 2008 by serendipity
	bad to worse.....hurt, scared, desperate HELP please!! (Preview) I feel as if I am losing my mind. Funny how when push comes to shove, the people who offer you help renig on their offer. I got kinda beaten up last night by asober b/f. I am so scared, I am so poor and I am so desperate. I truly feel that there is no one who can help me, and I am not in a situation to help myself r...	liljeannie	9	580	Sep 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	where do I go from here? (Preview) I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I wi...	susannah	5	501	Sep 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Hurricane coming!!!!! (Preview) I always get excited when a hurricane is coming. I think this is part of my drama/chaos addiction. I can feel the thrill of excitement in the air as it closes in, no fear just anticipation. I know that's kinda silly considering the destruction and danger that comes with them, but I can't help myself. So...	carolinagirl	4	423	Sep 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	let go of control (Preview) I have been detaching from my partners life haning it back to him more and more as I develop in Al anomn. Mircles are beginning to slowely happen as I make healthy choices for me and leave his choices to him. HP is working with him and I am trying to concentrate on me. Juat when I thought I am getting this a...	Tracy	2	473	Sep 5, 2008 by maire rua
	He said I wasn't good for him- true (Preview) Apparently the A told his sister in law that even though he is now with the girl he got arrested with she is good for him as she is clean now. He said that I am not good for him as when we go out all I want to do is use! I know I mentioned last week that we used together- both times we went out. I am not making excus...	Codependent	10	612	Sep 5, 2008 by maire rua
	Clean bill of health! (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Just wanted to let you all know, Piper was given a clean bill of health today! She even managed to gain back some weight. The vet was very pleased. I could tell she was getting back to her normal self. Last Sunday when I came home from work, I walked into the bedroom to find not one...	Karilynn	9	464	Sep 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	angry at myself and others (Preview) just sort of pissed off tonight..fueled..angry..resentful..full of hate and rage at my a and at myself for letting her go..keeping her around..talking with her and not talking with her pissed at some of the things that went down between me and her...fights..punches to the face..spitting on each o...	charlescharles	2	609	Sep 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just an update (Preview) I have learned that A's still have many of the traits they had when they were active. One thing that shocked me was that a lot of them still lie. That has gotten me thinking. More reason for me not to trust him, but I've decided I won't obsess over it. I'm tired of him doing nothing but watching TV at home. I me...	buick23	3	451	Sep 4, 2008 by nmike
	bad attitude (Preview) I had a great day with my Ah yesterday, he was very upbeat, great mood, very positive actually for the first time about his soon to be jail time(just a matter of time till he turns himself in) and today it is back to Mr. Downer. I have been having a great summer with friends and taking care of myself and my kid...	suzip	2	502	Sep 4, 2008 by maresie
	Hi people! (Preview) Hi~ I need some thoughts on whether you think I am in the right place. My father was an alcoholic growing up. There are many, many memories of embarassment, shame, anxiety, anger and denial. On the outside, it was all denial. I smiled through every embarrassing moment just as my mother did. She was like...	susannah	6	674	Sep 4, 2008 by susannah
	A rainbow among the rain of tears (Preview) I am almost done....I have my plan b in motion and will carry it out probably over this upcoming weekend. What has been happening here for the past 24 hours is just making it so much more unbearable. I thought I would have time to prepare and plan better, but with the support of a good, no make that great,...	liljeannie	2	329	Sep 4, 2008 by wildthang86
	re: update (Preview) Hi All, Have enjoyed reading the post, especially Maresie's in relation to guarding private space. I am up the walls as usual but detaching from my step mom's daughers, two of which are half sisters are mine. She having radiation for brain cancer and I rang and spoke to her today, she was civil, unfortu...	maire rua	1	592	Sep 4, 2008 by maresie
	at night (Preview) 12 in the morning..night time..dark night..quiet once again my mind races to my a..haven't heard from her tonight..a blessing in disguise?...or just a blessing!! don't mean to sound cruel..as i do miss her and do feel a bit uptight that she may be hooking up with someone else..but i got to give all of t...	charlescharles	2	477	Sep 4, 2008 by Tracy
	Gimme an "N"... (Preview) Went to the Boy Scouts awards ceremony and planning meeting last night. I painfully sat through the whole thing with my preschooler on my lap and my daughter beside me. I volunteered my AH for two fundraising activities (that he has done in the past) and I volunteered myself for, get this, NOTHING!...	Loupiness	7	668	Sep 4, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Found a new book worth sharing... (Preview) ...although it isnt directly related to addicts. I was given a gift from my sister this weekend. Its a book by Harold H. Bloomfield called "How to Survive The Loss of a Love". As I said, although it isnt directly related to addicts, it can certainly apply to the end of a relationship with one...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	482	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	I cant do this (Preview) Hi I'm still reeling from being asked by my partner to end our relationship.Before he went into rehab we were all good. I think now I've been really stupid. He's a great guy and really didnt plan on hurting me. I feel bad that I could of have messed up his recovery. Thank God he's got the strength to do the...	Mariner	3	465	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Thy will, not my will (Preview) Hi guys, really struggling this morning re: housing...I just moved to a new part of the country and am living in a temporary situation in a shared household with another woman- its OK but not ideal. I have this picture in my mind of what I want and I found it (I think) but cannot afford it yet. I am trying to c...	Jean4444	5	811	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Thanks to everyone...confronted boyfriend (Preview) Well, as a follow up to my previous post about me looking in my bfsober phone, here is what happened. I went home ready to admit what I did, and ready for him to get angry and leave. Because that is what I expected because it was what he did when he was drinking...you don't trust me etc. But the differe...	mslouise	5	470	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Tackling the tasks one at a time. (Preview) It is so easy for me to get overwhelmed with 5 online classes, I have my disability hearing next month (finally), and always practicing detachment from the youngest AD. For those of us taking online classes, we can find a proctor to monitor our final exams vs. driving to the campus. Yesterday I contact...	Tenderheartsks	4	535	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Keep me in your good thoughts! (Preview) Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am starting a new job, putting my four and a half month old baby in daycare for the first time, having my mother handle transporation and errands for my older daughter, who turns five years old tomorrow, too!!! I am feeling optimistic tonight, that everything will go wel...	Leetle	8	539	Sep 3, 2008 by CJ
	Now I had enough...Gustav Evacuation and Addicts All Around Me (Preview) Hello Friends! I am Tonya and I live in Terrebonne Parish Louisiana. That is where Gustav 1st hit land. For the first time ever in my life, I have ran from a hurricane. We went to family in Shreveport. My mom's family. I evacuated with my AHusband, my NABrother in Law and my A Mother. With my NA Uncl...	Sincerely	5	1409	Sep 3, 2008 by wp
	out of control!! (Preview) Hello all, Its been a while since I have posted, and though I thought things were going well, I was wrong. My asoberb/f is coming into some money. We have known about this for a few months. When he told me about it, he promised me that half of that money would be for me. I told him I would not expect otherw...	liljeannie	4	406	Sep 3, 2008 by Jean4444
	My mind still feels cluttered with him (Preview) I am trying really hard to not react to the things going on in the A's life. Though this morning when his boss texted me to see if I knew where he was, I not only suggested where I thought but also texted my sister in law to let him know they were looking for him. When I did it I knew I was overstepping. I am tryi...	Codependent	6	630	Sep 3, 2008 by Jean4444
	UPDATE, on AH moving back home (Preview) I have to admit that I was very nervous about how things were going to work out with my AH moving back in. I had accepted that he was going to keep drinking and quite when he chose to do so. I was able to do that because I have put so much work into my program. I do have my eyes wide open, watching what he does and no...	wildthang86	1	545	Sep 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	morning ramble (Preview) i just feel like free writing this morning it is a very nice morning here...the sun is out..kind of quiet around here right now i plan on going to a 12 15 aa meeting today..its one of my favorites at the moment my a is still in detroit and i am somewhat glad she is there..all though we are still in contact...m...	charlescharles	1	524	Sep 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	I Found Someone to Trust! (Preview) It's been one year since my AH has been out of detox/rehab. He has, that I know of, slipped up a few times and drank. How much at any given time? I don't know, for I don't inquire any longer. It's his business, not mine. The other day I caught him hiding a Pepsi bottle (about a 16 oz) in the bottom of his bo...	stormie	7	863	Sep 3, 2008 by maresie
	Spoke with his counsellor (Preview) Well, I finally called my ex's counsellor at rehab. Apparently the reason she wanted to talk with me specifically is because he has told her that I am his significant other. He told her that we are getting engaged and to be married this winter. WHOA! News to me. I dont know his reasons for giving her...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	7	469	Sep 3, 2008 by maresie
	Walking Through the Fear (Preview) ((((((((((((My Friends)))))))))))))), Today I start school. For some unknown reason, I am feeling fearful. Fearful about so many things -- security (the city at night), financing my education and not excelling in classes -- to name a few. If you happen to be thinking of me today, would you please...	Maria123	10	707	Sep 2, 2008 by wp
	Thank you (Preview) Thank you for the love and support,love Sharon/angel123	angel123	2	390	Sep 2, 2008 by serendipity
	Please I need advice on this quick (Preview) I need help. I found out my bf lied to me about something. I gave him plenty of chances to say something but he never did. There has been issues with his best friend and best friends girlfriend. My bf promised me he would tell me if the gf contacted him for any reason, even if small. Well, I found out she...	mslouise	18	1130	Sep 2, 2008 by Jean4444
	Still hanging in! (Preview) More progreess! Got some more stuff out of apt. & moved into "our" place. I am so looking forward to the end of the month when everything is over & I can rest easy. I know it won't be easy all the time & that there are no guarantees. I just have to take it one day at a time & trudg...	Hoot Nanny	1	453	Sep 2, 2008 by J.R.
	It's Getting Worse Yet Again (Preview) I went to my first F2F Alanon meeting on Friday and felt some hope for the first time in a while. Then yesterday, AH started drinking in the afternoon and started sending me these weird texts in which he basically told me that I was only concerned with my own happiness and not his. THen he blasted my friend...	Kary	8	704	Sep 2, 2008 by canadianguy
	He was with the "other" girl this weekend (Preview) I called the A to see if he wanted to go to the lake and he said he would call me back. He then called back to say that he thought he would have Janelle bring him as she was there. She would just be dropping him off as she had to go to work. Janelle is the girl he was arrested with a few months ago that he still ta...	Codependent	4	640	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	good morning all (Preview) another day is setting to start and here i am once again...trying to play my part..in all good and bad happy days to us all..if that is our higher powers will for us..looking foward to whatever he has to bring for me but i need more...i need more strength more courage..more wisdom..more certainty..and...	charlescharles	2	390	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Question, letter in 12 step program (Preview) Is it true they will write a letter and just mail it if they just can't 'see' the person and do it face to face to make amends? Also, it sounds like the sponsor has an awful lot of weight in this process, what if they aren't a good influence, they are not licensed counselors.	codependent_who_knew	5	819	Sep 2, 2008 by codependent_who_knew
	How do you fight the jealousy feelings? (Preview) Woke up this morning and found out that the A also went out last night with a group of friends. Obviously did not ask me to go. I really am trying to detach, but how do you fight this feeling of anxiety, of jealousy, of HURT? Thanks so much for letting me get this out. This board is such a lifesaver for me....	Codependent	8	3404	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Part 2 New here and need answers (Preview) I had to submit my post before I was finished because the cursor froze up and wouldn't let me post more. I know this is long, I am sorry, but I am desperate also. Before you say that maybe he needed to get away from me because I was hindering his sobriety or anything like that, please know that is not the case...	Joanp62	8	746	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Hi-I am new here and really need help and answers (Preview) Hi I really hope someone can give me some answers here, I am at the end of my rope. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married 23 years. Things did not get really that bad until about 4 years ago, then he really started to lose control. Fortunately afte 2 years he started going to AA, a local group in th...	Joanp62	9	672	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Help I feel discarded (Preview) My partner iwent to rehab two months ago, he's doing really well and started step 2 last week. He was advised by group leader against being in a relationship whilst recovering. He was upset and has spent the last week thinking on this, tonight he asked me to tell him that I dont want to see him agai...	Mariner	7	740	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	night time (Preview) just got home from a pretty full day all though all is not well but i think the universe and the will of my hp helped me make a few decisions today that hopefully...or with out doubt..where the right decisions to make i made two meetings today..one of them was a fourth step meeting and the underlining aspe...	charlescharles	3	440	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	I'm so ready for another meeting (Preview) My "Astarkravingsober" has been grumpy for 2 days now. He complains about stupid things. Of course I ended up arguing with him, couldn't help myself. Really I was defending myself and trying to show him my point which he did not care about. He's playing the blame game again, and again, I am n...	buick23	4	901	Sep 2, 2008 by buick23
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