Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...

java · java

I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...

Suzannah · Suzannah

((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I think that the last time I posted was when I had an interview. Alot has happened since then. I did interview on a Friday two weeks ago. I thought that it went well. By Monday, someone in the company said congratulations on getting the job. Wow, but I haven't received anything official yet...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi all, I am 30 years old and have been "seeing" a guy (sort of) who is addicted to many things, including alcohol, many drugs (pills, pot, etc). He's tried a few times that I know of to stop, but to be honest it just seems like halfattempts. He's been in rehab twice in the 6 months i dated him, b...

joyoma · joyoma

I posted last about "how do I accept what I cannot change?". Since that post I have been reluctant to say much more. It seems that what I really need to acknowledge are the final two words: CANNOT CHANGE. My son's problems have nearly taken away every shred of my ability to cope with anythin...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I learned something the other day, regarding "CAL" (conference approved literature). The ONLY things that are CAL approved by AA, Al-Anon, etc., are books that are anonymous and or specifically written for these groups - i.e. AA Big Book, Courage to Change, etc.... Even such treasure...

charlescharles · charlescharles

morning..tired this morning..went to a friends wedding yesterday..no drinking for me...that was easy..ran into old friends..it was good...young ladies i knew a lifetime or two ago..good to see friendly faces...woman that i know actually love me anyway..just thought i'd share my commitiment t...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, I don't feel I belong here right now I am so mixed up as to where I should be, who I should be talking to and what I should be doing that I don't feel comfortable. Right now.................no that's not right............for a couple of months now I feel I have been back tracking and I know tha...

glad · glad

Ugh!!! So much drama within my head. Time with my higher power will heal me. My A that I love, came back from out of town working for 10 days ignoring me, down appeared depressed said he was stressed then said he was bored. Basically he was just really unhappy and I have no real idea why and probably never w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So long time no see once again. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know how things are going for me and my family. The kids are all back in school, everyone is in the grade that they should be in and in fact the oldest daughter who was held back in the 8th grade last year is in high school (thanks to my pes...

buick23 · buick23

I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still up...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

In order to get past the pain, I have to walk through it. My sponsor has said more than once that when we start to get better in a program of recovery, there will be those who don't want us to get well. In my case, it's my family of origin. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for my youngest AD's actions, and I know...

Codependent · Codependent

I think I told you that last week I was having panic attacks. Anyway, they upped my zoloft and added ativan. I mentioned this to my A who responded "how many pills do you take?" Anyway, he has been with the other woman and I am trying to detach. A friend from out of town had gone out with him th...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, As some of you may have read, its been a pretty horrendous week for me. I am finally coming thru the fog, and I am beginning to think, REALLY think about what my options are. I just realized that I do indeed have them. I want this relationship to end. I know that more than I know anything el...

Mariner · Mariner

This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for...

notmywill · notmywill

Feeling really horrible about a situation tonight. I have a guy friend that has been there for me since I broke up with my EX-A. He has been so patient and understanding when I ask him the same questions over and over again. It' been almost 2 yrs. for our friendship, he has been incredible. the nicest gu...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingSeptember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report Approval of September Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Sorry this took so long.....a lot going on here at home. Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.With the Absence of the Secretary Chair requested approval of Julys minutes. Motion was made and minutes approved.With the Absence of Treasurer there was not a treasurers report. Chai...

Jasocal · Jasocal

My son's going to be 3 in December. He's not aware enough of the dynamics of our situation to understand his mom's got a drinking problem. She doesn't drink a lot in front of him and is not falling down drunk. But she's clipping or slurring her words every night when he and I get home from daycare and wor...

buick23 · buick23

I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...

susannah · susannah

I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...

Maria123 · Maria123

Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...

lmw · lmw

Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...

susannah · susannah

I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...

charlescharles · charlescharles

feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...

maresie · b

Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...

untitled33 · untitled33

Hi, I was considering going to an Al-Anon meeting, but can't find any close enough, soon enough, so I found this board instead. I recently graduated college, and work full time now. I've been out of my parent's house for about 6 years. I myself am very familiar with 12-step programs, as I attended one du...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I sit here, trying to figure out what to say, all of these half thoughts are racing thru my mind. Asober b/f came to me this morning and told him how very sorry he was/is that things got so out of control the other night. He told me that I had nothing to fear from him, that he would never hurt me physically...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I am living in the same house as AH and am trying to get seperated. It's a slow and not very productive proccess. He was arrested for DUI 2 1/2 weeks ago. I told him he had to leave. e would half ass look in the classified adds but never did a thing and continues to drink (oh so discreetly) in the house. Last nig...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have not heard from, nor spoken to my parents since I made it clear I was stepping out of the drama involving AD's totaled car and her now driving the Nissan. This morning I went to check email, and as all the messages were downloading, I did catch a glimpse of Dad's email address as it went to trash (I set a...

buick23 · buick23

It's funny how one day is good, the next isn't, then it changes again. Again, he's showing me how selfish he is, and arguments about little stupid things come up, but they really have a bigger meaning. This last argument was about catlitter. He used to always buy the catfood and litter. Now he refuses to...

mslouise · mslouise

The last couple of days I have been trying real hard to focus on me more. I am reading the toby rice book that I received from Canidianguy and my ODAT book and going to meetings. I have been trying not to worry about how my bf has been hanging with his friend alot lately. If I have spare time, I have be...

maresie · maresie

Last night my landlord who I could really have a difficult relationship with if I did not detach came to the house I live in. Many of the people who rent from him have a very difficult relationship with him. I certainly used to. At one point when he was speaking to several of us he volunteered a political o...

Codependent · Codependent

Okay so Canada Guy sent me Getting the Sober and I have started reading. I am also reading "When you love them more than they love you". I am also reading the Alanon book. I am posting here and over on the NA site some. Yet, I keep coming up with these questions...Why does he resent me so much? It...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I feel as if I am losing my mind. Funny how when push comes to shove, the people who offer you help renig on their offer. I got kinda beaten up last night by asober b/f. I am so scared, I am so poor and I am so desperate. I truly feel that there is no one who can help me, and I am not in a situation to help myself r...

susannah · susannah

I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I wi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I always get excited when a hurricane is coming. I think this is part of my drama/chaos addiction. I can feel the thrill of excitement in the air as it closes in, no fear just anticipation. I know that's kinda silly considering the destruction and danger that comes with them, but I can't help myself. So...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been detaching from my partners life haning it back to him more and more as I develop in Al anomn. Mircles are beginning to slowely happen as I make healthy choices for me and leave his choices to him. HP is working with him and I am trying to concentrate on me. Juat when I thought I am getting this a...

Codependent · Codependent

Apparently the A told his sister in law that even though he is now with the girl he got arrested with she is good for him as she is clean now. He said that I am not good for him as when we go out all I want to do is use! I know I mentioned last week that we used together- both times we went out. I am not making excus...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Just wanted to let you all know, Piper was given a clean bill of health today! She even managed to gain back some weight. The vet was very pleased. I could tell she was getting back to her normal self. Last Sunday when I came home from work, I walked into the bedroom to find not one...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just sort of pissed off tonight..fueled..angry..resentful..full of hate and rage at my a and at myself for letting her go..keeping her around..talking with her and not talking with her pissed at some of the things that went down between me and her...fights..punches to the face..spitting on each o...

buick23 · buick23

I have learned that A's still have many of the traits they had when they were active. One thing that shocked me was that a lot of them still lie. That has gotten me thinking. More reason for me not to trust him, but I've decided I won't obsess over it. I'm tired of him doing nothing but watching TV at home. I me...

suzip · suzip

I had a great day with my Ah yesterday, he was very upbeat, great mood, very positive actually for the first time about his soon to be jail time(just a matter of time till he turns himself in) and today it is back to Mr. Downer. I have been having a great summer with friends and taking care of myself and my kid...

susannah · susannah

Hi~ I need some thoughts on whether you think I am in the right place. My father was an alcoholic growing up. There are many, many memories of embarassment, shame, anxiety, anger and denial. On the outside, it was all denial. I smiled through every embarrassing moment just as my mother did. She was like...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I am almost done....I have my plan b in motion and will carry it out probably over this upcoming weekend. What has been happening here for the past 24 hours is just making it so much more unbearable. I thought I would have time to prepare and plan better, but with the support of a good, no make that great,...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, Have enjoyed reading the post, especially Maresie's in relation to guarding private space. I am up the walls as usual but detaching from my step mom's daughers, two of which are half sisters are mine. She having radiation for brain cancer and I rang and spoke to her today, she was civil, unfortu...

charlescharles · charlescharles

12 in the morning..night time..dark night..quiet once again my mind races to my a..haven't heard from her tonight..a blessing in disguise?...or just a blessing!! don't mean to sound cruel..as i do miss her and do feel a bit uptight that she may be hooking up with someone else..but i got to give all of t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Went to the Boy Scouts awards ceremony and planning meeting last night. I painfully sat through the whole thing with my preschooler on my lap and my daughter beside me. I volunteered my AH for two fundraising activities (that he has done in the past) and I volunteered myself for, get this, NOTHING!...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

...although it isnt directly related to addicts. I was given a gift from my sister this weekend. Its a book by Harold H. Bloomfield called "How to Survive The Loss of a Love". As I said, although it isnt directly related to addicts, it can certainly apply to the end of a relationship with one...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi I'm still reeling from being asked by my partner to end our relationship.Before he went into rehab we were all good. I think now I've been really stupid. He's a great guy and really didnt plan on hurting me. I feel bad that I could of have messed up his recovery. Thank God he's got the strength to do the...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi guys, really struggling this morning re: housing...I just moved to a new part of the country and am living in a temporary situation in a shared household with another woman- its OK but not ideal. I have this picture in my mind of what I want and I found it (I think) but cannot afford it yet. I am trying to c...

mslouise · mslouise

Well, as a follow up to my previous post about me looking in my bfsober phone, here is what happened. I went home ready to admit what I did, and ready for him to get angry and leave. Because that is what I expected because it was what he did when he was drinking...you don't trust me etc. But the differe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Living in a confused state (Preview) Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...	olg1213	3	527	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Al-anon relapse (Preview) I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...	java	5	1992	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Okay family, honesty is the best policy and thank you all for being there for me... Love you... (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...	Suzannah	7	576	Sep 9, 2008 by Jen
	Gratitude (Preview) Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...	Mariner	3	516	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Walking on eggshells (Preview) Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...	maire rua	6	693	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Where do I start? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I think that the last time I posted was when I had an interview. Alot has happened since then. I did interview on a Friday two weeks ago. I thought that it went well. By Monday, someone in the company said congratulations on getting the job. Wow, but I haven't received anything official yet...	nmike	7	930	Sep 9, 2008 by Loupiness
	New at This, Please Help - Need Advice!!! (Preview) Hi all, I am 30 years old and have been "seeing" a guy (sort of) who is addicted to many things, including alcohol, many drugs (pills, pot, etc). He's tried a few times that I know of to stop, but to be honest it just seems like halfattempts. He's been in rehab twice in the 6 months i dated him, b...	cherrygirl30	10	644	Sep 8, 2008 by Mariner
	letting go (Preview) I posted last about "how do I accept what I cannot change?". Since that post I have been reluctant to say much more. It seems that what I really need to acknowledge are the final two words: CANNOT CHANGE. My son's problems have nearly taken away every shred of my ability to cope with anythin...	joyoma	3	491	Sep 8, 2008 by Jen
	CAL vs. "other stuff" (Preview) I learned something the other day, regarding "CAL" (conference approved literature). The ONLY things that are CAL approved by AA, Al-Anon, etc., are books that are anonymous and or specifically written for these groups - i.e. AA Big Book, Courage to Change, etc.... Even such treasure...	canadianguy	6	2131	Sep 8, 2008 by Rita G
	another morning rant (Preview) morning..tired this morning..went to a friends wedding yesterday..no drinking for me...that was easy..ran into old friends..it was good...young ladies i knew a lifetime or two ago..good to see friendly faces...woman that i know actually love me anyway..just thought i'd share my commitiment t...	charlescharles	1	376	Sep 8, 2008 by maresie
	I don't feel I belong here any more (Preview) Hi Family, I don't feel I belong here right now I am so mixed up as to where I should be, who I should be talking to and what I should be doing that I don't feel comfortable. Right now.................no that's not right............for a couple of months now I feel I have been back tracking and I know tha...	Suzannah	12	832	Sep 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	God Grant me the ability to think of myself (Preview) Ugh!!! So much drama within my head. Time with my higher power will heal me. My A that I love, came back from out of town working for 10 days ignoring me, down appeared depressed said he was stressed then said he was bored. Basically he was just really unhappy and I have no real idea why and probably never w...	glad	5	679	Sep 8, 2008 by 3Hz
	Update (long) (Preview) So long time no see once again. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know how things are going for me and my family. The kids are all back in school, everyone is in the grade that they should be in and in fact the oldest daughter who was held back in the 8th grade last year is in high school (thanks to my pes...	carolinagirl	4	532	Sep 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	here we go again (Preview) I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still up...	buick23	2	389	Sep 7, 2008 by kitty
	Mixed Signals (Preview) I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...	Marshmallow	2	535	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Hurting today (Preview) In order to get past the pain, I have to walk through it. My sponsor has said more than once that when we start to get better in a program of recovery, there will be those who don't want us to get well. In my case, it's my family of origin. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for my youngest AD's actions, and I know...	Tenderheartsks	6	860	Sep 7, 2008 by glad
	They think I am crazy (Preview) I think I told you that last week I was having panic attacks. Anyway, they upped my zoloft and added ativan. I mentioned this to my A who responded "how many pills do you take?" Anyway, he has been with the other woman and I am trying to detach. A friend from out of town had gone out with him th...	Codependent	7	570	Sep 7, 2008 by notmywill
	building a bridge..... (Preview) Hello family, As some of you may have read, its been a pretty horrendous week for me. I am finally coming thru the fog, and I am beginning to think, REALLY think about what my options are. I just realized that I do indeed have them. I want this relationship to end. I know that more than I know anything el...	liljeannie	2	578	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Heading For A Fall (Preview) This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for...	Mariner	2	490	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Feeling Horrible (Preview) Feeling really horrible about a situation tonight. I have a guy friend that has been there for me since I broke up with my EX-A. He has been so patient and understanding when I ask him the same questions over and over again. It' been almost 2 yrs. for our friendship, he has been incredible. the nicest gu...	notmywill	6	717	Sep 7, 2008 by notmywill
	September Business Meeting (Preview) MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingSeptember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report Approval of September Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	317	Sep 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	August Meeting Minutes (Preview) Hi all, Sorry this took so long.....a lot going on here at home. Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.With the Absence of the Secretary Chair requested approval of Julys minutes. Motion was made and minutes approved.With the Absence of Treasurer there was not a treasurers report. Chai...	Mandy123	0	384	Sep 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	Toddlers with Alcoholic Parents (Preview) My son's going to be 3 in December. He's not aware enough of the dynamics of our situation to understand his mom's got a drinking problem. She doesn't drink a lot in front of him and is not falling down drunk. But she's clipping or slurring her words every night when he and I get home from daycare and wor...	Jasocal	7	3704	Sep 7, 2008 by Jasocal
	sharing alanon words (Preview) I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...	buick23	6	567	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Couage to let go (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...	Rocky38	3	1086	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Picking a sponsor (Preview) I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...	susannah	6	568	Sep 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	And then comes the dawn . . . (Preview) Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...	Maria123	6	1061	Sep 6, 2008 by Loupiness
	Necessity is the mother of invention... (Preview) I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...	Tenderheartsks	5	536	Sep 6, 2008 by lin0606
	Still Lost (Preview) Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...	Mariner	4	547	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling sad tonight (Preview) Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...	lmw	4	587	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...	Mariner	4	497	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Getting past step one.... (Preview) I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...	susannah	5	515	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	discontent this morning (Preview) feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...	charlescharles	4	536	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling so angry and disappointed! (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...	b	3	492	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	An incredibly long introductory post (Preview) Hi, I was considering going to an Al-Anon meeting, but can't find any close enough, soon enough, so I found this board instead. I recently graduated college, and work full time now. I've been out of my parent's house for about 6 years. I myself am very familiar with 12-step programs, as I attended one du...	untitled33	4	636	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	so now what? (Preview) As I sit here, trying to figure out what to say, all of these half thoughts are racing thru my mind. Asober b/f came to me this morning and told him how very sorry he was/is that things got so out of control the other night. He told me that I had nothing to fear from him, that he would never hurt me physically...	liljeannie	10	663	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	withholding information (Preview) I am living in the same house as AH and am trying to get seperated. It's a slow and not very productive proccess. He was arrested for DUI 2 1/2 weeks ago. I told him he had to leave. e would half ass look in the classified adds but never did a thing and continues to drink (oh so discreetly) in the house. Last nig...	RainyJamie	7	1115	Sep 6, 2008 by CJ
	Staying out of the drama between youngest AD and my parents (Preview) I have not heard from, nor spoken to my parents since I made it clear I was stepping out of the drama involving AD's totaled car and her now driving the Nissan. This morning I went to check email, and as all the messages were downloading, I did catch a glimpse of Dad's email address as it went to trash (I set a...	Tenderheartsks	5	629	Sep 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	arguments about stupid little things (Preview) It's funny how one day is good, the next isn't, then it changes again. Again, he's showing me how selfish he is, and arguments about little stupid things come up, but they really have a bigger meaning. This last argument was about catlitter. He used to always buy the catfood and litter. Now he refuses to...	buick23	9	631	Sep 5, 2008 by lin0606
	I know what this means when my bf said this...focus on me (Preview) The last couple of days I have been trying real hard to focus on me more. I am reading the toby rice book that I received from Canidianguy and my ODAT book and going to meetings. I have been trying not to worry about how my bf has been hanging with his friend alot lately. If I have spare time, I have be...	mslouise	7	567	Sep 5, 2008 by lin0606
	rewards of detachment (Preview) Last night my landlord who I could really have a difficult relationship with if I did not detach came to the house I live in. Many of the people who rent from him have a very difficult relationship with him. I certainly used to. At one point when he was speaking to several of us he volunteered a political o...	maresie	4	487	Sep 5, 2008 by maresie
	Resentment (Preview) Okay so Canada Guy sent me Getting the Sober and I have started reading. I am also reading "When you love them more than they love you". I am also reading the Alanon book. I am posting here and over on the NA site some. Yet, I keep coming up with these questions...Why does he resent me so much? It...	Codependent	6	704	Sep 5, 2008 by serendipity
	bad to worse.....hurt, scared, desperate HELP please!! (Preview) I feel as if I am losing my mind. Funny how when push comes to shove, the people who offer you help renig on their offer. I got kinda beaten up last night by asober b/f. I am so scared, I am so poor and I am so desperate. I truly feel that there is no one who can help me, and I am not in a situation to help myself r...	liljeannie	9	613	Sep 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	where do I go from here? (Preview) I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I wi...	susannah	5	537	Sep 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Hurricane coming!!!!! (Preview) I always get excited when a hurricane is coming. I think this is part of my drama/chaos addiction. I can feel the thrill of excitement in the air as it closes in, no fear just anticipation. I know that's kinda silly considering the destruction and danger that comes with them, but I can't help myself. So...	carolinagirl	4	454	Sep 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	let go of control (Preview) I have been detaching from my partners life haning it back to him more and more as I develop in Al anomn. Mircles are beginning to slowely happen as I make healthy choices for me and leave his choices to him. HP is working with him and I am trying to concentrate on me. Juat when I thought I am getting this a...	Tracy	2	502	Sep 5, 2008 by maire rua
	He said I wasn't good for him- true (Preview) Apparently the A told his sister in law that even though he is now with the girl he got arrested with she is good for him as she is clean now. He said that I am not good for him as when we go out all I want to do is use! I know I mentioned last week that we used together- both times we went out. I am not making excus...	Codependent	10	642	Sep 5, 2008 by maire rua
	Clean bill of health! (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Just wanted to let you all know, Piper was given a clean bill of health today! She even managed to gain back some weight. The vet was very pleased. I could tell she was getting back to her normal self. Last Sunday when I came home from work, I walked into the bedroom to find not one...	Karilynn	9	497	Sep 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	angry at myself and others (Preview) just sort of pissed off tonight..fueled..angry..resentful..full of hate and rage at my a and at myself for letting her go..keeping her around..talking with her and not talking with her pissed at some of the things that went down between me and her...fights..punches to the face..spitting on each o...	charlescharles	2	637	Sep 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just an update (Preview) I have learned that A's still have many of the traits they had when they were active. One thing that shocked me was that a lot of them still lie. That has gotten me thinking. More reason for me not to trust him, but I've decided I won't obsess over it. I'm tired of him doing nothing but watching TV at home. I me...	buick23	3	483	Sep 4, 2008 by nmike
	bad attitude (Preview) I had a great day with my Ah yesterday, he was very upbeat, great mood, very positive actually for the first time about his soon to be jail time(just a matter of time till he turns himself in) and today it is back to Mr. Downer. I have been having a great summer with friends and taking care of myself and my kid...	suzip	2	534	Sep 4, 2008 by maresie
	Hi people! (Preview) Hi~ I need some thoughts on whether you think I am in the right place. My father was an alcoholic growing up. There are many, many memories of embarassment, shame, anxiety, anger and denial. On the outside, it was all denial. I smiled through every embarrassing moment just as my mother did. She was like...	susannah	6	712	Sep 4, 2008 by susannah
	A rainbow among the rain of tears (Preview) I am almost done....I have my plan b in motion and will carry it out probably over this upcoming weekend. What has been happening here for the past 24 hours is just making it so much more unbearable. I thought I would have time to prepare and plan better, but with the support of a good, no make that great,...	liljeannie	2	361	Sep 4, 2008 by wildthang86
	re: update (Preview) Hi All, Have enjoyed reading the post, especially Maresie's in relation to guarding private space. I am up the walls as usual but detaching from my step mom's daughers, two of which are half sisters are mine. She having radiation for brain cancer and I rang and spoke to her today, she was civil, unfortu...	maire rua	1	642	Sep 4, 2008 by maresie
	at night (Preview) 12 in the morning..night time..dark night..quiet once again my mind races to my a..haven't heard from her tonight..a blessing in disguise?...or just a blessing!! don't mean to sound cruel..as i do miss her and do feel a bit uptight that she may be hooking up with someone else..but i got to give all of t...	charlescharles	2	508	Sep 4, 2008 by Tracy
	Gimme an "N"... (Preview) Went to the Boy Scouts awards ceremony and planning meeting last night. I painfully sat through the whole thing with my preschooler on my lap and my daughter beside me. I volunteered my AH for two fundraising activities (that he has done in the past) and I volunteered myself for, get this, NOTHING!...	Loupiness	7	709	Sep 4, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Found a new book worth sharing... (Preview) ...although it isnt directly related to addicts. I was given a gift from my sister this weekend. Its a book by Harold H. Bloomfield called "How to Survive The Loss of a Love". As I said, although it isnt directly related to addicts, it can certainly apply to the end of a relationship with one...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	511	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	I cant do this (Preview) Hi I'm still reeling from being asked by my partner to end our relationship.Before he went into rehab we were all good. I think now I've been really stupid. He's a great guy and really didnt plan on hurting me. I feel bad that I could of have messed up his recovery. Thank God he's got the strength to do the...	Mariner	3	498	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Thy will, not my will (Preview) Hi guys, really struggling this morning re: housing...I just moved to a new part of the country and am living in a temporary situation in a shared household with another woman- its OK but not ideal. I have this picture in my mind of what I want and I found it (I think) but cannot afford it yet. I am trying to c...	Jean4444	5	841	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Thanks to everyone...confronted boyfriend (Preview) Well, as a follow up to my previous post about me looking in my bfsober phone, here is what happened. I went home ready to admit what I did, and ready for him to get angry and leave. Because that is what I expected because it was what he did when he was drinking...you don't trust me etc. But the differe...	mslouise	5	501	Sep 3, 2008 by Maria123
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