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Enabling son?
(Preview)
My 36 year old son has decided to do a 90 day re-hap (thank God). Would I be enabling him if I paid his rent for the 90 days that he is in re-hab? He is on unemployment and has to give 80% of his check to re-hab.
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dervin17
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9
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588
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Worried about depressed/alcoholic ex-boyfriend
(Preview)
I am trying to move on and today it marks a week since I had him moved out of my house because two late-drunk nights showing up and my house not knowing where he was at either one. I have been told by my family that if I continue to call him that they will show me some tough love, which I know they will. I did not sp...
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Chenango
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5
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2872
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Why do we anylise everything?
(Preview)
I would really like peoples take on this, because I seem to do it selectively, and only with certain people, and I am getting a lot better, I used to have to replay conversations over and over inside my head, I think I had low self esteem when I was doing that so bad, because I really cared about the way I ans...
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Katy
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2
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608
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Please help.
(Preview)
I am new to this. I met a guy about 3 months ago. We instantly clicked and shared such strong feelings for each other and expressed so much and told each other everything. I knew he was a drinker, but at the age of 23, I never suspected he was an alcoholic. He moved in within a few weeks, and our relationship w...
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KSchumaker
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6
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589
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Please include my Mom in your prayers...
(Preview)
I believe in the power of prayer and raising vibes for others. So if you would please, include my Mom in your thoughts and prayers. She is having a medical procedure on Monday and will have to be put under. Supposedly, a safe procedure and I'm doing my best not to project, but.....When we were sayin...
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Christy
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22
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4818
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Trusting in my HP
(Preview)
Well I called the child support agency. There will be a paternity test done I have to take my son in November 7th and my A will be going a few weeks after. She said after that they will ask about visitation and if I want supervised it will go to family court. And until that summons come for me to go to court I can...
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Melissa21
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4
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508
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Need some support
(Preview)
My A revealed to me that he has been relapsing for two weeks already. I just feel exhausted and sad and alone. I am grateful for a program and for people who understand. The whole loss of the dream, the broken trust and the sadness is just overwhelming right now. I asked him to leave today. I do not know wher...
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RunnerChick
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9
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511
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I'm scared now...
(Preview)
I'm scared to try to start a new relationship... Scared I don't know how to have a "normal" relationship where I don't become too attached. Scared I'll get my kids wrapped around some guy who will just run off again thus repeating the seemingly never ending cycle of men who abandon them. Sc...
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carolinagirl
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9
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549
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Paying it forward.........reflections of a codie:)
(Preview)
I was heading into this month with a "next month is going to be tough" attitude and stressing over things a month away. I laugh now at the insanity in that!!!! I've been really devoting myself to my program and am slowly reaching an inner peace and calmness that I haven't known in ages, if eve...
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shellyj123
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3
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520
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Get those mamograms!
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), Good morning. This is my annual reminder to all of my family here: GET THOSE MAMOGRAMS! October is breast cancer awareness month. So let's get this done. I have mine tomorrow. Such a simple procedure that can save your life. Tell all your mothers, cousins, sisters and friend...
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Karilynn
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4
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482
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My Drug and Emotional Sobriety
(Preview)
I don't mean to double dip today, and but I have been writing and processing alot of things, talking to program peeps and other means of support. My ABF is my drug. The anxiety I feel when I consider ending our relationship is because he is all of my good feelings. He fills that hole within me. I've used him...
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RunnerChick
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6
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660
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Drinking with your alcoholic?
(Preview)
Hi all-- My AH was in recovery for a very brief time after a stint in detox and an IOP. He has resumed drinking again and is using daily (although he says he's not because perhaps 1 day out of 7 he might not). When he went through treatment and I participated too, I stated I would no longer drink alcohol eithe...
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3littlekittens
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18
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677
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My Day....Butterfly Kisses....
(Preview)
Growing Up an ACOA My Ideal of marriage was something that oftem times i couldn't bring myself to think about, I would say mainly because My parents had a Brutle Divorce when I was but 9 years old... It really took from me ALOT of my Dreams as a small child for I still lived in a fantasy world that would consi...
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Jozie
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3
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2502
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Today, I'm a locksmith!
(Preview)
Hello, Well, I just didn't like the tone of his voice when he said, i can come and go as i want in that house, its mine. HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, i don't think so, he moved out 6 weeks ago and took a few of his possessions with him. So today, I changed the locks. Locks are to keep the honest people out, I hope it wor...
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Sincerely
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7
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586
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HELP!!!! 4th Step Questions...
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I'm new at this and a year and a half into this program. Here is my question, and I would really appreciate your feedback on this. I have a sponsor, whom I love and respect dearly. I am currently on my fourth step, (have been for the last 4-5 months at least) I feel the reason why this is taking so...
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therack76
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4
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4156
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Overwelmed, happy and blessed.......
(Preview)
I am currently feeling completely overwelmed, happy and blessed all at the same time. I'm seeing more and more, daily, the program working in my life as I attempt to make it the center of my life. I had wanted to do ninety meetings in ninety days, and thus far have managed to make a meeting a day, but honest...
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shellyj123
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2
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946
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I'm sorry
(Preview)
I'm sorry I didn't know the location of the picture you were looking for yesterday. I was unsure of what had happened to it when you asked me about it. I'm sorry I set my boundaries and you chose to ignore them. I'm sorry I snapped at you when I did so. I'm sorry I lost my composure last night. Heaven kn...
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blender_girl
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4
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535
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Using the tools of Al-anon
(Preview)
I am so eternally grateful for all of you here, who have shared so openly and honestly with me about your E,S&H on relapse and heartbreak. My wound feels fresh and open and oh so painful.I can't seem to sort out of my heartstrings from my mind. I find myself terrified of losing this man again- feeling...
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RunnerChick
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1
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453
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New here
(Preview)
Hello all, I have been lurking for a while now and have finally decided to join. I have been married for three years, and for the last 2 or so have been struggling a great deal with AH's drinking. I was searching for bottles, pouring out or giving away liquor, counting how much he drank, asking him to ple...
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cdngirl
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3
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444
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new here - in lots of pain, lots of questions
(Preview)
My wife went in to rehab last week. It's been 8 days. She's a party drunk. Her parties are herself and a six-pack on the beach. She's 43. We had been fighting about drinking for a few years, and recently (two months? two years?) she'd been getting a six-pack and riding around after she finished her...
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iSaint
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14
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752
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I am never prepared for that 1st phone call from rehab....
(Preview)
Hello everyone! My phone rang last night about 9pm. I was not expecting it to be my A hubby. He's in rehab. 3 day down. Yesterday was 1 month since I asked him to leave our home. I don't know why he called me. I would have preferred he didn't. You see, I "think" I have detached w/love. I d...
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Sincerely
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6
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638
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Handling Finances with an A
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I was wondering if you could share you ESH in how to handle household finances with an A. I am the main breadwinner in our family. AH works as an outside labourer and is unemployed in the winter (and goes on unemployment insurance). One of the ways I used to try and control his drinkin...
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MissyPoo
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10
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567
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how do you know if yur right about them drinking?
(Preview)
Last night my exaH came to pick up our son for a group they belong to. I thought I smelled booze on aH, though I didn't notice any "affects". Then again, I thought I smelled booze. And they left. The hour that they were gone all I could think about is why did I do that? I know why I didn't say a...
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Rora
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11
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948
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just totally lost it.
(Preview)
Got woken up this morning by neigbors thumping music. Went on all day. ALL day. I tried to keep cool. I have PTSD from 9/11 among othr things (lived on E 13th St). Went out, came home. Still going. Then the other neighbors start up - 20 Hindus chanting with bongos. That and the techno****. My partner tried...
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alanonicScotland
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7
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686
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the last week .... a share
(Preview)
Hello everyone, Well ... where to begin? I've had a lot of time and ways to practice my program this past week or so. My sad news, my old blind cat had liver failure and I had to take him in to be put to sleep. I really miss him. we could be blind together and usually had to call and meow to each other until i saw a g...
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Jennifer
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3
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510
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Support and Prayers needed for BIG decision.
(Preview)
Hello Friends, I don't like to talk about it much, but my first husband, my child's father was an addict. Addicted to street drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex...you name it and he was addicted to it. He was my childhood sweetheart and high school boyfriend. He was a big football...
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MaryPoppins
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5
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509
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boundaries.
(Preview)
One new thing for me in making any kind of friendship is looking at that persons boundaries. If they have an issue with them that is a red flag for me. I no longer charge into any relationship because I "like" someone. I evaulate, feed back, look at levels, work on how I can change my bounda...
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maresie
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0
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459
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Just Wanted To Say Hello And Thanks
(Preview)
To MY MIP FAMILY, Just a short post to tell everyone I am alive and well. I check in almost every day and I miss posting, but I have been so busy with my business (Ladies Wholesale Apparel) that I have had very little time. Thank goodness ladies don't know we are in a recession, only their husbands do. LOL...
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RLC
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6
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739
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More Drama with the ex bf - I think I'm making progress
(Preview)
So Friday night I took my kids to the local buffalo wild wings for karaoke, we met up with a few other single moms and their kids. My oldest daughter (15) was out at the movies with her friends and got dropped off there after the show. So I'm talking to a nice guy and we are really hitting it off. She walks u...
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carolinagirl
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5
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429
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DIDN'T HAVE A POSITIVE DAY THOUGH I TRIED!
(Preview)
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT MY DAY WAS GOING TO TURN AROUND, I GOT A BILL! DON'T KNOW YET IF I HAVE TO PAY IT! IT JUST IRKS ME TO RECEIVE A BILL WHEN THERE IS BASICALLY NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT ON THE WEEKEND WHEN I RECEIVED IT! SO, I STRESSED & LET IT BOTHER ME FOR QUITE AWHILE ON SATURDAY WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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565
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Stressed
(Preview)
Sorry Just need to rant and then Ill go away again AH not well this am vomiting, etc. I went to work, telling him to keep taking sips of water and brandy if he could to ward off withdrawal seizures. Son phoned me at 10 to say his dad was being sick and he was worried. I asked if he was talking to him and taking sip...
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Tattyhead
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3
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469
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Looking for Ideas.. :o) Honoring :o)
(Preview)
Welp... Made it thru yet another LONG weekend... My boy had a game first thing Sat. Morn, and it was agaisnt a Christian Acadamy, which in the end could have ended alot uglier then it did, but our boys hung in there, and did the best they could playing against a team that had "Highschool" kids o...
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Jozie
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2
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543
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After six years the phone rings
(Preview)
I had dated this lady for a few months seven years ago. I broke up with her because of her heavy drinking. So I get a call from her back in march out of the blue. I was just coming out of another relationship. So we eventually started seeing each other again. She told me she no longer drank much, nor did she ca...
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rutnut
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10
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876
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Anyone deal with going to court for visitation with an A
(Preview)
Any ESH is much appreciated! Court will be coming up for child support and my A thinks they will do visitation at that time. I have no clue, but if they don't it will be sometime. I know I should just worry about today and not the future, but I think I need to prepare myself for when the time comes. I do not want...
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Melissa21
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12
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576
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Hi to all and gratitude to Shelly
(Preview)
Dear (((All))) Just checking in to say'HI' and thank you all for being here. I continue to work my program and make small steps forward in my recovery. Things are going ok and I'm getting so much better at setting and keeping my boundaries with my ex A, I realise I cant rest back on this as it is so easy for...
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Mariner
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4
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526
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trying to stay possitive!
(Preview)
I WILL TRY TO STAY POSITIVE TODAY! NOT EVEN THE RAIN WILL BRING ME DOWN! I KNOW THE RAIN IS NECESSARY BUT SOMETIMES IT CAUSES A BIT OF SADD! EVERYONE PLEASE DO THE SAME. I KNOW THAT WE CAN ALL PULL TOGETHER & SUPPORT EACH OTHER NOW MATTER WHAT! BLESS YOU ALL!
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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611
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rehab round 2...over
(Preview)
Hello everyone, My hubbys round two at rehab ended after 9 days this time. First time was 4 days. The difference for me is that I had no expectations this time. This short round 2 is confirmation that i made the right decision to ask him to leave our home 6 weeks ago. I'm good. I'm happy. And I lost 18lbs...
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Sincerely
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5
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573
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Day One of Husband in Treatment
(Preview)
We dropped my husband off at the treatment facility in Tucson yesterday. We were lucky enough to have insurance cover a HUGE portion of it. He will be gone for 30 to 45 days depending on how many days insurance wants to cover. I'm having some anxiety with him being gone and me being home alone to handle...
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N8SMOM
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8
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605
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Update on son and photo
(Preview)
I have attached a photo of sons and nephew for you to look at. Lucas is the one in the middle, sitting in the chair with the dog on his lap. His younger brother is the one with the white shirt and hat and the other is their cousin. Lucas is doing so well. He is healing very well and about to go to full time at work...
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doxie
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12
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676
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FEAR
(Preview)
It sucks and sucks the life out of you. My husband is having a rough time right now. His brother is dying and he's under a lot of stress and pressure. We've been doing VERY VERY well because we've both been pursing active healthy things and avoiding the negative. I'm very very proud of myself and him. HO...
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Inpain
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6
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1492
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simple meetings
(Preview)
Recently a program friend and I were discussing meeting topics, essentially saying what a simple program this is, no need to make it complicated with off the wall, frilly kind of topics. There's plenty that can be found in Forums and the index of the literature. Not to say that they too don't serve a pur...
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sunshines1
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4
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585
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Alanon Humor
(Preview)
Hi Family, I had something funny happen that I just wanted to share with you and I hope it gives you all a chuckle like it did the f2f group I shared with last night. Last night I went to a f2f meeting. It was pretty small and with 30 minutes left to the end of the meeting we had all shared. Well the chair asked us...
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Mandy123
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3
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4425
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I did it! And it's so hard!!
(Preview)
I finally left the A father of my 10 mos. old child after six years. After watching him devolve into his old self so many times, and standing by him when he came to and decided to make changes and then fall again, I have left, moved out on my own and am living with friends and at my office. Although it is painf...
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lonewolfmama
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9
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932
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I'm New
(Preview)
I am new to this, and everyone else seems to know all the language and the processes and the way to do stuff? How do you learn, and how do you get started?
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HollyM
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9
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569
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September Business Meeting Minutes
(Preview)
Sorry for the delay everyone!!! September Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held September 13, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept August Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted no revisions were m...
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ernie
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0
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349
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recognizing the family disease
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here. :) my significant other is an alcoholic. I am here to learn more about the disease and how it has affected me. I recognize that it is a family disease and it not only affects them but us as well. I have detachment issues; I want to learn to detach. My friend attends meetings as well and says...
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Data395
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4
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700
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October Business Meeting Agenda 10/4 9pm est
(Preview)
October Agenda Review of September minutes Review of op meeting schedule New Business Nominations for service positions Chairperson Secretary Discussion of addition to FAQS Old Business Op duties Chairing meetings Idle times Please pm me if you have any additional items -- Edited...
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danz123
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0
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509
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Cheery Platitudes
(Preview)
Today's reading (Oct. 3) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, reminded me that sometimes I need to be gentle with the newcomer. They are not familiar with all our slogans and sayings. I don't want them to feel the outsider or act as if I have it all together and that they just need to 'snap out of it'. I don't know...
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Overcome
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3
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717
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acceptance
(Preview)
I am almost 2 months out now from having had the check stolen. There is no sign of a replacement check. I can either let this issue consume me (which it certainly has) or detach detach and then detach some more. Of course I want it to be anything but it is. I don't believe I actually have a choice if I want to...
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maresie
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4
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569
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NEW HERE....FINALLY AN ANSWER
(Preview)
First of all, I want to say I'm glad I found this board and I apologize in advance for the long rant coming. I've been doing some reading to get more information, and it is now clear to me what is going on with my husband. I am in my second marriage (almost 3 years) and was married the first time for 22 year...
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flower5361
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9
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536
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RESENTMENT & ANGER.....NORMAL EVEN BEFORE HE GOES TO REHAB????
(Preview)
HELLO ALL--- JUST WANTING TO VENT A LITTLE BIT RIGHT NOW. I GUESS AS I START THE WORDS HOPEFULLY WILL FLOW RIGHT FROM MY LAST POST TO NOW, I HAVE RECIEVED GREAT FEEDBACK ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS IN THE RIGHT MANNER. I HAVE BEEN TAKING "MYSELF" OUT OF THE EQUATION AND LOOKING AT IT FROM A DIFFERENT P...
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layneee
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7
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992
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Need some honest advice!
(Preview)
My husband is an alcoholic who just started attending meetings 2 weeks ago. It seems, to me, that he has replaced alcohol with attending meetings. He leaves an hour before the meeting is to start and comes home an hour or more after the meeting ends. Our marriage is in shambles from the drinking and n...
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Stormy
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9
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575
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Tips!!!???
(Preview)
Does anyone have any tips for impusle control? I think I have ADHD... I get the urge to do/say something and I do it. I make really poor decisions when I'm mad or sick and I need some tips on how other people control the impulse. Anything?
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carolinagirl
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4
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607
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90 meetings in 90 days.........Question about online meetings??? Need some help....
(Preview)
I wanted to do 90 meetings in 90 days, starting tomorrow, and REALLY put myself into the program as much as possible right now. I need it for myself and I need it to help me keep the focus on me (as a very close friend told me and is correct-when I was REALLY working the program I was at my happiest) In my area...
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shellyj123
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9
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818
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This program really does work if you work it! Letting go and movin forward......
(Preview)
Yesterday was a trying day in many ways. I've had harder I'm sure, but yesterday I was being tested or so it felt. I started the day having to call my son's father's place and dealing with his wife. (my son's father has been an absent parent from day one and I have fought child support battles for years wi...
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shellyj123
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3
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587
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I don't have the allergy, but I can still relate!
(Preview)
I've been having a challenging week. AH's family is out visiting and when they visit, AH goes dry. And when he is dry, his disease is exposed and raw and it is ANGRY and HOSTILE and on a witch hunt. The nice thing is, AH's brother and his girlfriend are AA members who take their meetings seriously. I know I g...
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Aloha
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2
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677
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Day One of 90..Heading in strong
(Preview)
Woke up this am DETERMINED to put my focus back on me and get out of the rut I have been in. Hit my dailys hard, always grateful that I had the extra money to buy them as they are a gift in each and every way, everyday. Came into the office and the first thing I did was come here and read.....always the best way t...
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shellyj123
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3
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721
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Getting better
(Preview)
So far so good. It' been almost 3 years since my first Al-Anon meeting 11/06 and 2 years online as well. Not so long compared to many veterans. Not that I'm getting complacent because I know there is so much more for me to do. It's taken this long just to cut through some of my denial and really start to under...
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Baffled
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3
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588
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All I did wrong was? to chose someone to marry for all the wrong reasons!
(Preview)
I married someone that I thought I could fix, I married someone that I thought would work hard at wanting to work hard at buliding a life together, note the (I)! It was all about what I wanted, what I thought I should have, fast forward 29 years +, It was very selfish of me to think I had that control over anot...
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Katy
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6
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689
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Alcoholism...Strikes again...
(Preview)
Hey Guys :) Sorry I have been vacant here lately... I have been having DAILY Headaches that have been limiting my Computer time.. I work at a computer all day, and most evennings My Head hurts so bad I can't seem to get on... I am sure "this too Shall Pass" but it has really weighed me to death it s...
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Jozie
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8
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839
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