Recovering alcholic - Al-Anon Family Group

italia80 · Newbie

Recovering alcholic

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Italia

I am glad you found this board and alanon. I am also glad that your friend is seeking sobriety. AA and alanon suggest you make no major life changes for the first 6 months while you are attempting to recover from this disease. Please try to get to meetings. pickup literature and come here to share. You will feel better and the right decision will become clear.

Again welcome
Betty

Tracy · ~*Service Worker*~

This disease is the worst thing I have witnessed your partner is fighting for his life.
Its not personal it does not necessarily mean its over or he does not love you. He has accepted he is ill good on him, he may just need some time to focus on his recovery. My partner has been sober for 5 months at first I felt a bit neglected, unloved but today I know he loves me but needs to take care of him as he is very ill. I am also ill this disease has affected me so I try and concentrate on my recovery in al anon hope this helps

Andrea12 · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((((Welcome)))))),

I am so happy you have found this wonderful place for you to have your own place of recovery.

Right now he is fighting for his life and I truly mean that....30 days is just a start for him and maybe that is all he can handle on his plate right now.

Love has nothing to do with this disease....he may just need time to focus all he has on staying sober...it is not an easy task.

Be patient, get some well needed help for you as you are also affected by this disease. Maybe find some face to face alanon meetings for you.

Peace,
Andrea

db55 · Veteran Member

I really like the book Getting Them Sober. It may still be offered by someone on this sight. Read it and learn about alcoholism and codependency. That way you are working on you. And you may have more to talk to him about!

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

I spent a lifetime trying to figure out what people meant. Lately I go by my gut reaction. I am now able after a long period of doing a program to trust myself and my reactions.

Maresie.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Italia...Yes the first 30 days and longer incubate the insanity cycle of time.
Alcoholics trying to live without alcohol and starting to look at the world and life
with wide open undrugged vision is similar to coming out of a long blackout. The
greatest emotional defect is fear and if he is going thru fear of (whatever) keep
your expectations low or away. Fear keeps people from walking, talking, breathing
and sleeping. To an alcoholic fear will justify another drink...fast!!

So you love an alcoholic is the title of one of Al-Anon's very informative and helpful
pamphlets which is a part of their large literature library and conferenced approved.

You can get at all of this literature, lots of it free, at your nearest Al-Anon Family
Group meetings. Go to the face page and click on the Al-Anon meetings link and
you can find out what registered meetings are in your neighborhood. Go to as
many as you can in the next 90 days and make up your mind if the program has
any thing you need and keep coming back here also (((((hugs))))). smile

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Or call: 1-888-4alanon

Meetings can be found by going to this site, or calling. Believe me they want you there, and have so much to share.

Al Anon can teach you how to focus on you, not get into his recovery. It will help you to work on you while he is going through so many things.

When they go into recovery, serious recovery, they wake up to the maturity they were when they started. All those horrible situations they used away, come back like it was that moment. All the guilt they feel from the disease who caused havok oh their loved ones, right there.

Hard to face.
Plus they are learning to live with a disease.

The best thing we can do is get into a 12 step program ourselves. It helps you both big time.

I learned about manipulation, I had no idea what it was. Now the A's disease cannot mess with me anymore. Actually my A likes that fact now that he is in recovery, forced but he is glad he is there. He told me Al Anon is an using A's worst nightmare, we learn the truths they try to conceal.

Glad you are here! Please keep coming, you help us too! hugs,debilyn

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello Italia , right now he is stark raving sober , he will change his mind every 5 min , anything he says or does at this point can change in a split second . 30 days is not sober barley out ouf his system . The best way to support him is to find al anon meetings for yourself and learn how to detach with love and accept that his struggle is just that HIS . His biggest commitment right now is to sobriety thats all he can manage a day at a time .
Get the focus back on yourself and your own needs and leave him to AA and let Al-Anon take care of you Louise

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.