The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am trying to move on and today it marks a week since I had him moved out of my house because two late-drunk nights showing up and my house not knowing where he was at either one. I have been told by my family that if I continue to call him that they will show me some tough love, which I know they will. I did not speak to him yesterday but still wondered if he even had the motivation to take a shower yet or even leave his room. He has told when I did talk to him calmly this time rather than the opposite that the only thing he could get himself to do was to go to AA. I want to believe that he has but the few times I have driven by his car is still in the same place. I just hate that this disease has turned him into something he is not-lazy and unmotivated. I am trying to have faith that everything will turn out because when he did this last April he turned his life around for the better for 4 months on his own. At this point I wanted to consider the fact and having him get help but since he stopped hiding the drinking I didn't. I am trying not to blame myself for figuring this out earlier but it is hard not to. If only... That is all I keep thinking about right now. Everything was going well, so why did this have to happen? What went wrong to such a great person who was in my life for almost 3 years? I keep telling myself that his life was not bad so I catch myself yelling at the air to try to motivate him to get out of bed and grow up. He has never failed and I don't think he wants to admit to that now. Any suggestions or advice? I am just trying to talk this all out to deal with more emotions I can handle.
Friend, laziness has nothing to do with it....It is a progressive disease. Keeps getting worse and worse, there are 4 ending roads to addiction....sobriety...which we all pray for....jail...institutions....or death that's it...
A week is no time, please give yourself a little time to heal before you make any life changing decisions...you both need to seek your own recovery.....your own way...
You have started try and get yourself to some face to face alanon meetings it will help you more than you can imagine....It saved my sanity.
He must seek his own recovery, his own program personally don't think it can be done on his own...that is my opinion anyway.
Screaming in the air, heck I use to get in my car and scream going down the road and one day I asked God, please if you can't save him Dear God save me....
Well I am still here...sanity or not well that's the question....lol.....but seriously it did work I was able to let God and let go.....just when you think you can not take one more step don't worry he will carry you for awhile..........
I am so sorry that you are experiencing the pain of this disease. You are not alone.
There is a booklet published by alanon entitled "So You Love An Alcoholic" When you get to face to face meetings look for it. It describes exactly how we all tend to act when alcoholism surfaces in our homes.
I too have screamed to/ at : HP, the wind and, and anyone who would listen. My fears and anxiety were ovepowering. That is when I found alanon.
Please look up alanon meetings in the white pages of your telephone directory, attend meetings, get literature read, come back here,post and try the chat room.
I highly recommend getting a copy of Getting them Sober. Toby Rice Drew cuts through all the if only's and sets boundaries that are very important. You deserve peace and happiness and you can get it.
Please forgive me if you chose to feel hurt by this, but he does not sound like your ex boy friend. You are still much attached to him. Let go and let God do his job without intereference from you.
