Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134

Codependent · Codependent

I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...

pineapple · pineapple

This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...

Caton · Caton

Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...

maire rua · maire rua

Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...

miss lucy · miss lucy

I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...

maresie · maresie

I am tryng to change my attitude from "its not fair", "poor me" to accepting what is my lot today. I know it is far far better than it was 3 years ago. My reflex thoughts are always its not fair and poor me so I have to take it second by second and I am finding it very hard going. No wonder...

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH is seriously testing my patience today....non stop text messages...indirect messages through other people....questions, questions, questions! of course i haven't let him know he is getting to me...i haven't entered into the arguement he is trying to cause....i haven't even answered his...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Retired from rescuing the big kids, horses, llamas, pigs huge and small. BUT have always wanted a tortoise in my life. So an opportunity came up to rescue one. He is only about a hundred pounds now, lives in my living room. lol I was going to make a bedroom just for him but decided heck with that, I don't wa...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know my daughter is an A and I`am trying not to engage in any more arguments with her. I really only want to talk to her about my grandaughter who she has custody of. This 6 year old has heard us have many an argument but mostly sees her mother scream and rage. Over X-mass I heard my daughter call me the filth...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

I just wanted to share the changes I have gone through since starting to work my program. I am really taking the idea of taking care of me seriously. I have gone to a Dr. and had a full check up, which doesnt sound like much but the thought of doing that always scared me before..(better not to know type thin...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hey Christy!!!! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday :) Hope its a good one for you!! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Kerry

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey all: I'm sitting here, tears and all trying to write my post. I guess since I've got 2 Active As in my home, I am extremely powerless. At times, I feel so powerless and confused, action is difficult. I did go to a meeting last night, and that was a good thing. I tried to go today, however the Ason got pu...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hello again...am back feeling much better than when i last posted. have had a good sleep and the meds kicked in so have eaten (first time since yesterday morning). thanks to all who posted hugs.....really appreciated them. Special thanks to Hotrod for reminding me of the unconditional love i get...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After talking to an old friend this am, I realized that I am still holding on to a tremendously large amount of resentments when it comes to my older brothers, for a variety of reasons, many to do with regards to my 77 year old mother, whom I am very close to. My friend suggested communication on all of our p...

brightmommy · brightmommy

I am struggling with everything right now. My world as I knew it has been turned upside down and inside out. I am having trouble letting go. We have been together since I was 14 years old and married for 11 years. I am currently going through a divorce. He has committed the ultimate betrayal. Last nig...

miss lucy · miss lucy

I NEED A HUG!!! i have been doing so well....but today i feel like throwing the towel in and returning to AH....i know i shouldn't for my sake as much as his. My IBS symptoms have presented themselves again (presumably due to the stress and the cold weather) and i feel lousy...weak....useless. i am tu...

miss lucy · miss lucy

good morning all......01.00 and i can't sleep....am busy finishing today's task of writing the next chapter of my novel, a task that should have been finished almost 2 years ago but AH stopped me working on the computer because he needed...well you know how that one goes! now i am in my own place i can d...

jasobel · jasobel

I have had so much going on in my life besides my ex A leaving me last month. My best friend has cancer, my ex-husband is on a rampage about my daughter and it just seems like life gets crazier every day. My sponsor said I am doing a good job at giving others in my life over to my HP - but not myself. How do I ask fo...

Charlie · Charlie

-Not a good night. -Empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. -Watching it all fall apart. I can't / don't want to discuss it right now. But, I guess you've all been there before. After not much sleep, I took my 20 minute drive to the MARC station to go to work. Waited around 15 minutes and got an announcement...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am finding that being me is OK. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin! I have had many setbacks in my recovery but today is a great day. The sun is shining & it is not cold up here. We have had unusually warm temps. for January so far. Too all who have been suffering from really bad weather, I fee...

Festfan · Festfan

Arrrggg The past few days have been rough I have had a lot of breakthroughs about myself from this forum and general self- assessment, but Im feeling a little battered because I see the problems (enabling, codepend, self esteem, etc.) but cant work through the solutions yet. I really need to start...

tryingtofindaway2009 · tryingtofindaway2009

I did it, Its been two weeks since i kicked him out and four days since i called it quits. He called last night asking to come home.... He said he would do out patient and go to meetings if he could just come home. I want him to do inpatient so i can see that getting better is something he is serious about... i al...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I genuinely believe, especially after this week, that my HP leads me right where I need to be, right when I need to be there. Not in my time-but always in His. To make a long story short, I set some boundaries this week-probally my first that I can really remember setting and thinking "I need to do th...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...

HawkRN · HawkRN

Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I need to detach - big time. My patience is wearing thin and my resentments are cropping up. The control freak in me is just bursting to get out. ARGH! After being on the receiving end of a couple of snarky emails and voicemails, I found myself thinking that if he didn't stop that behavior towards me...

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH has been doing really well and has been dry almost a week...we continue to live apart but see each other casually as we live so close to each other. we pass the time of day, share the car to go shopping, chat about our days and genuinely enjoy spending time together. he knows i have lost my trust in him b...

maresie · maresie

I came from a family where the parents reversed roles with the children. Somehow I became responsible for my younger sister's school phobia (I think to this day she still believes that), I was responsible for their poverty, isolation and desperate secrecy. So when I hear the word "selfish&...

regigse · regigse

I am a little confused, the majority of posts here that I am reading seem to indicate that many of the members here have an alcoholic/addict in their life, the majority appear to be boyfriends, husbands/wives, and if they are working their program then they are able to accept the A for who he or she is...

Tracy · Tracy

I ended up ringing my friend she said that she had been holding in things becaus e she new I was in a bad palce. basically we had a reaally unhealthy relationship. I people pleased all my friends now that i am looking out for me some who are healthy are o.k but the friend who got drunk is in a bad place and fe...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, So These last couple weeks, I have began again taking on Step 4, and in doing so I slammed into a "Personal" Road Block... Expectation Verses Respect... Is Respect an Expectation? I Mean Really...I am by no means perfect nor do I desire to have that kind of a Title placed upon me, however,...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

why is he so damn selfish? I swear he thinks the world revolves around him. everything is his way...what we watch, eat for dinner, board games we may play. and if i have a different opinion it's like dealing with a pouty 4 year old. but then it's me...i'm just a complainer and he does nothing right. ...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

I talked with my brother last night and told him that he had 3 weeks to find another place to live. He was very understanding and didn't seem to be upset. And then after we both went to bed and the house was quiet, I could hear him crying in the next room. Needless to say, I have felt like a complete heel eve...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Not sure WHAT it is, but I'm feeling pretty empty and sad. I'm just trying to allow myself to feel the feelings and allow them to be so they can pass over me and not to resist or fight them. I am tired of the cycle of self abuse and self rejection. I must remember that the answer is NOT a change in others, but a ch...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

I'm new at this, so please bear with me. I have found myself in the middle of a situation with my parents and alcoholic brother which I don't seem to know how to get myself out of. I am 32, single, own my own home, have a demanding job. My brother is 39. He has been in and out of jail, treatment, etc. for th...

sadforever · sadforever

hello, this is my first time here and need advice. i am the oldest (and only girl) of 3 kids in my family. my little brother, brian, is the alcoholic. he is the middle child. he has been an alcoholic for 9 years. numerous trips to the hospital, treatment 3x, legal problems, etc. he is 33 and still liv...

pineapple · pineapple

Lately I haven't been getting out much. I go to the market in the village on Saturdays to buy food for the week and that's about it. We live on a beautiful piece of property on the lake and it's very tranquil here. Plus I just haven't felt like seeing people. All of my friends here in Guate are also T's frien...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Just wanted to share a bit of a breakthrough that I think I had yesterday. AH has been doing OK lately.. He is dry at the best of times, not in recovery, and is on some depression meds that seem to be helping his moods. He still sinks into 'stinkin poor me thinking' bout once or twice a week, as he is a dry...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey MIP family! OK so I'm 90% sure that I'm going to be leaving my husband this summer after I graduate from college. (Nothing's 100% in life!) I'm working my Plan B, and so far it seems solid. My problem is this: how can I let my family know what's going on? They've been wonderfully supportive & helpe...

Festfan · Festfan

And its actually almost funny sometimes (in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" kind of way). The ABF took my first "boundary" pretty well - that I was not going to spend time with him when he is/has been drinking. mostly because I think he is happy and relieved that I won't be tr...

Charlie · Charlie

Why do there seem to be more women here than men? I believe the ratio of alcoholics and drug addicts is approximately the same for men and women, yet there seems to be fewer men sharing here. Any thoughts?

John · John

I read some of the post here today. I couldn't reply to alot of them, because there is no set of "right words" that will express what I'm feeling or make what you are feeling, feel better. One mourning the lose of a husband, another the lose of her mother. Others expressing anger, fear, sorrow, frustra...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last week was by far one of the most stressful weeks I have had in the past 6 mths-right on up to yesterday when my camera broke. (I have a HUGE sentimental attachment to it as it was the first and pretty much last, come to think of it, thing that I bought myself when I began recovery and began focusing on me...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Realising the power behind the programme has been a mission of mine for so many years and it would seem that the power is there for the taking only if one really does dedicate oneself whole-heartedly. Many times I have thought that I understood the programme and how to work it only to be shown that I was be...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Today is a good day....i am calm, i am collected, i am singing to the radio, and i am full of hope. i have my writing and my sense of humour to thank for that. i set out to write a letter and ended up writing a poem instead. i hope you like it!... peace to all gilly

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Lately, I feel we are having problems again. I need my Higher Power to show me a way.The right way, for me to go. I am wondering lately if I should be with this man, my fiance. I care for him, but this relationship is taking a toll on me, and he doesn't see that.Not that I need him to come save me from it. But I st...

Sam72 · Sam72

I would just like to express my disgust with certain members in the AA group. NOt this the ALANON group, just incase I confuse anyone. My Partner is an Acohlic who is still drinking. He started a topic on the AA message board. The topic was "Need some feedback" by Brett. If anyone reads it th...

maresie · maresie

I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease. Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts. I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out...

Diva · Diva

If the explanation is in plain sight, I have missed it. To the left of each original post appear a check mark. Some in black squares (No New Posts) and some in gray squares (New Posts). what is the significance of these check marks? Just askin' Diva who seems to collect the "No New Posts" ki...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am sure you have heard the saying: "Don't look back." Well, my post is about looking back. There's looking back - in a positive way, when suddenly realising one is making headway one turns to see how far one has come. And there's looking back - in a negative way, when one has not left the past...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I went out with the girls last night for a friends birhday. We were drinking but had a really great evening. Then one off my friends who normally does not drink too much was drunk she had over done it and got upset. I took her to the toilets. She was saying lots of stuff has some resentments...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hello. The woman that I met over Xmas---it isn't working out. She isn't an a, but my patterns with friendships are all too familiar. I found myself wanting her approval constantly. I lost myself to her. I thought she was "better than me". And my body was getting sick again because I was putti...

hazel1066 · hazel1066

First time with AlAnon - in real life or cyber space What do I do next to request advice....please. Peace Haze;1066

jasobel · jasobel

My boyfriend of over 2years, left me 1 month ago. I have been struggling with letting him go - he is now with someone else. I have also been struggling with my higher power, questioning why he left when we were to spend the rest of our lives together. The pain has been unyielding, constant. He left his dog w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Saturday (Preview) http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134	Debilyn	5	806	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	One more thing... (Preview) I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...	Codependent	4	679	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	The Chatter in my Brain --- The Pain in my Heart (Preview) Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...	Iamhere	15	979	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	enabling (Preview) This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...	pineapple	3	848	Jan 24, 2010 by idontknow
	advice needed... (Preview) Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...	Caton	5	924	Jan 23, 2010 by Mattie
	update on taking step-mom's dog last year (Preview) Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...	maire rua	8	924	Jan 23, 2010 by Charlie
	Progress (Preview) ((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...	Andrea12	3	522	Jan 23, 2010 by Karilynn
	The woman in the mirror (Preview) I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...	miss lucy	2	802	Jan 23, 2010 by CJ
	I'm scared...need ESH (Preview) Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...	3littlekittens	7	839	Jan 23, 2010 by 3littlekittens
	Attitude is everything. (Preview) I am tryng to change my attitude from "its not fair", "poor me" to accepting what is my lot today. I know it is far far better than it was 3 years ago. My reflex thoughts are always its not fair and poor me so I have to take it second by second and I am finding it very hard going. No wonder...	maresie	6	1135	Jan 22, 2010 by Christy
	just need to vent! (Preview) AH is seriously testing my patience today....non stop text messages...indirect messages through other people....questions, questions, questions! of course i haven't let him know he is getting to me...i haven't entered into the arguement he is trying to cause....i haven't even answered his...	miss lucy	0	512	Jan 22, 2010 by ImFree2004
	New Eden Addition (Preview) Retired from rescuing the big kids, horses, llamas, pigs huge and small. BUT have always wanted a tortoise in my life. So an opportunity came up to rescue one. He is only about a hundred pounds now, lives in my living room. lol I was going to make a bedroom just for him but decided heck with that, I don't wa...	Debilyn	10	841	Jan 22, 2010 by Rita G
	Practicing Keeping Quiet (Preview) I know my daughter is an A and I`am trying not to engage in any more arguments with her. I really only want to talk to her about my grandaughter who she has custody of. This 6 year old has heard us have many an argument but mostly sees her mother scream and rage. Over X-mass I heard my daughter call me the filth...	Samsgram	2	1263	Jan 22, 2010 by Andrea12
	New Year and new way of facing life.. thanks to Al-Anon (Preview) I just wanted to share the changes I have gone through since starting to work my program. I am really taking the idea of taking care of me seriously. I have gone to a Dr. and had a full check up, which doesnt sound like much but the thought of doing that always scared me before..(better not to know type thin...	Suzi1965	2	830	Jan 22, 2010 by hotrod
	Happy Birthday Christy (Cjo) (Preview) Hey Christy!!!! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday :) Hope its a good one for you!! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Kerry	kerry5	16	1061	Jan 22, 2010 by Karilynn
	Detachment - Why Harder for one than another? (Preview) Hey all: I'm sitting here, tears and all trying to write my post. I guess since I've got 2 Active As in my home, I am extremely powerless. At times, I feel so powerless and confused, action is difficult. I did go to a meeting last night, and that was a good thing. I tried to go today, however the Ason got pu...	Iamhere	8	955	Jan 22, 2010 by Iamhere
	creativity triumphs!!!! (Preview) hello again...am back feeling much better than when i last posted. have had a good sleep and the meds kicked in so have eaten (first time since yesterday morning). thanks to all who posted hugs.....really appreciated them. Special thanks to Hotrod for reminding me of the unconditional love i get...	miss lucy	3	747	Jan 21, 2010 by wildthang86
	Ways to deal with resentments???? Need some input..... (Preview) After talking to an old friend this am, I realized that I am still holding on to a tremendously large amount of resentments when it comes to my older brothers, for a variety of reasons, many to do with regards to my 77 year old mother, whom I am very close to. My friend suggested communication on all of our p...	shellyj123	5	835	Jan 21, 2010 by shellyj123
	divorce after 11 years of marriage...how to let go (Preview) I am struggling with everything right now. My world as I knew it has been turned upside down and inside out. I am having trouble letting go. We have been together since I was 14 years old and married for 11 years. I am currently going through a divorce. He has committed the ultimate betrayal. Last nig...	brightmommy	12	1322	Jan 21, 2010 by brightmommy
	am not feeling great today - (Preview) I NEED A HUG!!! i have been doing so well....but today i feel like throwing the towel in and returning to AH....i know i shouldn't for my sake as much as his. My IBS symptoms have presented themselves again (presumably due to the stress and the cold weather) and i feel lousy...weak....useless. i am tu...	miss lucy	7	871	Jan 21, 2010 by shellyj123
	MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME (Preview) good morning all......01.00 and i can't sleep....am busy finishing today's task of writing the next chapter of my novel, a task that should have been finished almost 2 years ago but AH stopped me working on the computer because he needed...well you know how that one goes! now i am in my own place i can d...	miss lucy	3	565	Jan 21, 2010 by miss lucy
	Step Two Help - Restoring myself to sanity (Preview) I have had so much going on in my life besides my ex A leaving me last month. My best friend has cancer, my ex-husband is on a rampage about my daughter and it just seems like life gets crazier every day. My sponsor said I am doing a good job at giving others in my life over to my HP - but not myself. How do I ask fo...	jasobel	5	603	Jan 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Sleepless Night (Preview) -Not a good night. -Empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. -Watching it all fall apart. I can't / don't want to discuss it right now. But, I guess you've all been there before. After not much sleep, I took my 20 minute drive to the MARC station to go to work. Waited around 15 minutes and got an announcement...	Charlie	6	880	Jan 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	BEING ME IS OK (Preview) I am finding that being me is OK. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin! I have had many setbacks in my recovery but today is a great day. The sun is shining & it is not cold up here. We have had unusually warm temps. for January so far. Too all who have been suffering from really bad weather, I fee...	Hoot Nanny	8	1086	Jan 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	I am a roadblock to myself... (Preview) Arrrggg The past few days have been rough I have had a lot of breakthroughs about myself from this forum and general self- assessment, but Im feeling a little battered because I see the problems (enabling, codepend, self esteem, etc.) but cant work through the solutions yet. I really need to start...	Festfan	3	754	Jan 21, 2010 by RunnerChick
	I told him i loved him and then i walked away (Preview) I did it, Its been two weeks since i kicked him out and four days since i called it quits. He called last night asking to come home.... He said he would do out patient and go to meetings if he could just come home. I want him to do inpatient so i can see that getting better is something he is serious about... i al...	tryingtofindaway2009	7	1052	Jan 21, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Detachment, boundaries and guilt- (Preview) I genuinely believe, especially after this week, that my HP leads me right where I need to be, right when I need to be there. Not in my time-but always in His. To make a long story short, I set some boundaries this week-probally my first that I can really remember setting and thinking "I need to do th...	shellyj123	4	2254	Jan 21, 2010 by Ness
	It's been a while - and I'm finally happy!!!! (Preview) Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...	CJ098	4	822	Jan 20, 2010 by nmike
	PAIN (Preview) Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...	Suzannah	5	1100	Jan 20, 2010 by maresie
	New and scared (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...	HawkRN	9	660	Jan 20, 2010 by maresie
	I am the problem (Preview) Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...	RunnerChick	7	915	Jan 20, 2010 by Debilyn
	Has anyone seen my ax? (Preview) I need to detach - big time. My patience is wearing thin and my resentments are cropping up. The control freak in me is just bursting to get out. ARGH! After being on the receiving end of a couple of snarky emails and voicemails, I found myself thinking that if he didn't stop that behavior towards me...	blender_girl	3	800	Jan 20, 2010 by Debilyn
	WALKING AWAY FELT GOOD (Preview) AH has been doing really well and has been dry almost a week...we continue to live apart but see each other casually as we live so close to each other. we pass the time of day, share the car to go shopping, chat about our days and genuinely enjoy spending time together. he knows i have lost my trust in him b...	miss lucy	8	902	Jan 20, 2010 by miss lucy
	Enmeshment. (Preview) I came from a family where the parents reversed roles with the children. Somehow I became responsible for my younger sister's school phobia (I think to this day she still believes that), I was responsible for their poverty, isolation and desperate secrecy. So when I hear the word "selfish&...	maresie	8	1654	Jan 20, 2010 by blender_girl
	Is this so? (Preview) I am a little confused, the majority of posts here that I am reading seem to indicate that many of the members here have an alcoholic/addict in their life, the majority appear to be boyfriends, husbands/wives, and if they are working their program then they are able to accept the A for who he or she is...	regigse	6	906	Jan 20, 2010 by pineapple
	spoke to friend. (Preview) I ended up ringing my friend she said that she had been holding in things becaus e she new I was in a bad palce. basically we had a reaally unhealthy relationship. I people pleased all my friends now that i am looking out for me some who are healthy are o.k but the friend who got drunk is in a bad place and fe...	Tracy	3	644	Jan 20, 2010 by Christy
	Expectation Verses Respect... Lookin for ESH (Preview) Ok, So These last couple weeks, I have began again taking on Step 4, and in doing so I slammed into a "Personal" Road Block... Expectation Verses Respect... Is Respect an Expectation? I Mean Really...I am by no means perfect nor do I desire to have that kind of a Title placed upon me, however,...	Jozie	8	1019	Jan 19, 2010 by Jozie
	and another thing... (Preview) why is he so damn selfish? I swear he thinks the world revolves around him. everything is his way...what we watch, eat for dinner, board games we may play. and if i have a different opinion it's like dealing with a pouty 4 year old. but then it's me...i'm just a complainer and he does nothing right. ...	lizzakiss	6	904	Jan 19, 2010 by RunnerChick
	split personalities?? (Preview) I talked with my brother last night and told him that he had 3 weeks to find another place to live. He was very understanding and didn't seem to be upset. And then after we both went to bed and the house was quiet, I could hear him crying in the next room. Needless to say, I have felt like a complete heel eve...	Gypsy_Phisch	6	1881	Jan 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	Just feeling sad (Preview) Not sure WHAT it is, but I'm feeling pretty empty and sad. I'm just trying to allow myself to feel the feelings and allow them to be so they can pass over me and not to resist or fight them. I am tired of the cycle of self abuse and self rejection. I must remember that the answer is NOT a change in others, but a ch...	RunnerChick	5	710	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
	I need serious advice (Preview) I'm new at this, so please bear with me. I have found myself in the middle of a situation with my parents and alcoholic brother which I don't seem to know how to get myself out of. I am 32, single, own my own home, have a demanding job. My brother is 39. He has been in and out of jail, treatment, etc. for th...	Gypsy_Phisch	6	1010	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
	how to give the problem back (Preview) hello, this is my first time here and need advice. i am the oldest (and only girl) of 3 kids in my family. my little brother, brian, is the alcoholic. he is the middle child. he has been an alcoholic for 9 years. numerous trips to the hospital, treatment 3x, legal problems, etc. he is 33 and still liv...	sadforever	6	963	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
	feeling unsociable (Preview) Lately I haven't been getting out much. I go to the market in the village on Saturdays to buy food for the week and that's about it. We live on a beautiful piece of property on the lake and it's very tranquil here. Plus I just haven't felt like seeing people. All of my friends here in Guate are also T's frien...	pineapple	8	1472	Jan 19, 2010 by pineapple
	Then and now, New Me and Old me and the struggle in my head (Preview) Just wanted to share a bit of a breakthrough that I think I had yesterday. AH has been doing OK lately.. He is dry at the best of times, not in recovery, and is on some depression meds that seem to be helping his moods. He still sinks into 'stinkin poor me thinking' bout once or twice a week, as he is a dry...	MissyPoo	3	975	Jan 19, 2010 by Iamhere
	telling family (Preview) Hey MIP family! OK so I'm 90% sure that I'm going to be leaving my husband this summer after I graduate from college. (Nothing's 100% in life!) I'm working my Plan B, and so far it seems solid. My problem is this: how can I let my family know what's going on? They've been wonderfully supportive & helpe...	intothewoods	5	877	Jan 19, 2010 by Christy
	He JUST doesn't get it!! (Preview) And its actually almost funny sometimes (in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" kind of way). The ABF took my first "boundary" pretty well - that I was not going to spend time with him when he is/has been drinking. mostly because I think he is happy and relieved that I won't be tr...	Festfan	11	1063	Jan 19, 2010 by Festfan
	More Women than Men? (Preview) Why do there seem to be more women here than men? I believe the ratio of alcoholics and drug addicts is approximately the same for men and women, yet there seems to be fewer men sharing here. Any thoughts?	Charlie	4	3046	Jan 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	From Me to You... (Preview) I read some of the post here today. I couldn't reply to alot of them, because there is no set of "right words" that will express what I'm feeling or make what you are feeling, feel better. One mourning the lose of a husband, another the lose of her mother. Others expressing anger, fear, sorrow, frustra...	John	8	1007	Jan 19, 2010 by Festfan
	What I feed~grows! (Preview) Last week was by far one of the most stressful weeks I have had in the past 6 mths-right on up to yesterday when my camera broke. (I have a HUGE sentimental attachment to it as it was the first and pretty much last, come to think of it, thing that I bought myself when I began recovery and began focusing on me...	shellyj123	3	779	Jan 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	Realising the POWER behind the PROGRAMME... (Preview) Realising the power behind the programme has been a mission of mine for so many years and it would seem that the power is there for the taking only if one really does dedicate oneself whole-heartedly. Many times I have thought that I understood the programme and how to work it only to be shown that I was be...	Suzannah	5	1003	Jan 18, 2010 by Charlie
	Today I wrote a poem (Preview) Today is a good day....i am calm, i am collected, i am singing to the radio, and i am full of hope. i have my writing and my sense of humour to thank for that. i set out to write a letter and ended up writing a poem instead. i hope you like it!... peace to all gilly	miss lucy	5	880	Jan 18, 2010 by Charlie
	out of balance (Preview) Lately, I feel we are having problems again. I need my Higher Power to show me a way.The right way, for me to go. I am wondering lately if I should be with this man, my fiance. I care for him, but this relationship is taking a toll on me, and he doesn't see that.Not that I need him to come save me from it. But I st...	woopsadaisy	6	812	Jan 18, 2010 by jasobel
	Partner told to STFU on AA message board (Preview) I would just like to express my disgust with certain members in the AA group. NOt this the ALANON group, just incase I confuse anyone. My Partner is an Acohlic who is still drinking. He started a topic on the AA message board. The topic was "Need some feedback" by Brett. If anyone reads it th...	Sam72	24	2116	Jan 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	sometimes quickly sometime slowly. (Preview) I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease. Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts. I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out...	maresie	4	974	Jan 18, 2010 by Suzannah
	Can someone explain the column to the far left? (Preview) If the explanation is in plain sight, I have missed it. To the left of each original post appear a check mark. Some in black squares (No New Posts) and some in gray squares (New Posts). what is the significance of these check marks? Just askin' Diva who seems to collect the "No New Posts" ki...	Diva	3	830	Jan 18, 2010 by Diva
	There's looking back and there's looking back... (Preview) I am sure you have heard the saying: "Don't look back." Well, my post is about looking back. There's looking back - in a positive way, when suddenly realising one is making headway one turns to see how far one has come. And there's looking back - in a negative way, when one has not left the past...	Suzannah	4	916	Jan 18, 2010 by canadianguy
	upsets friend (Preview) Hi everyone, I went out with the girls last night for a friends birhday. We were drinking but had a really great evening. Then one off my friends who normally does not drink too much was drunk she had over done it and got upset. I took her to the toilets. She was saying lots of stuff has some resentments...	Tracy	4	791	Jan 18, 2010 by hotrod
	had to abandon a friend (Preview) Hello. The woman that I met over Xmas---it isn't working out. She isn't an a, but my patterns with friendships are all too familiar. I found myself wanting her approval constantly. I lost myself to her. I thought she was "better than me". And my body was getting sick again because I was putti...	Carol_Lynn	7	901	Jan 17, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Alcoholic dealing with alcoholics (Preview) First time with AlAnon - in real life or cyber space What do I do next to request advice....please. Peace Haze;1066	hazel1066	6	1484	Jan 17, 2010 by nmike
	a higher power breakthrough (Preview) My boyfriend of over 2years, left me 1 month ago. I have been struggling with letting him go - he is now with someone else. I have also been struggling with my higher power, questioning why he left when we were to spend the rest of our lives together. The pain has been unyielding, constant. He left his dog w...	jasobel	2	1257	Jan 17, 2010 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.