Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...

HawkRN · HawkRN

Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I need to detach - big time. My patience is wearing thin and my resentments are cropping up. The control freak in me is just bursting to get out. ARGH! After being on the receiving end of a couple of snarky emails and voicemails, I found myself thinking that if he didn't stop that behavior towards me...

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH has been doing really well and has been dry almost a week...we continue to live apart but see each other casually as we live so close to each other. we pass the time of day, share the car to go shopping, chat about our days and genuinely enjoy spending time together. he knows i have lost my trust in him b...

maresie · maresie

I came from a family where the parents reversed roles with the children. Somehow I became responsible for my younger sister's school phobia (I think to this day she still believes that), I was responsible for their poverty, isolation and desperate secrecy. So when I hear the word "selfish&...

regigse · regigse

I am a little confused, the majority of posts here that I am reading seem to indicate that many of the members here have an alcoholic/addict in their life, the majority appear to be boyfriends, husbands/wives, and if they are working their program then they are able to accept the A for who he or she is...

Tracy · Tracy

I ended up ringing my friend she said that she had been holding in things becaus e she new I was in a bad palce. basically we had a reaally unhealthy relationship. I people pleased all my friends now that i am looking out for me some who are healthy are o.k but the friend who got drunk is in a bad place and fe...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, So These last couple weeks, I have began again taking on Step 4, and in doing so I slammed into a "Personal" Road Block... Expectation Verses Respect... Is Respect an Expectation? I Mean Really...I am by no means perfect nor do I desire to have that kind of a Title placed upon me, however,...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

why is he so damn selfish? I swear he thinks the world revolves around him. everything is his way...what we watch, eat for dinner, board games we may play. and if i have a different opinion it's like dealing with a pouty 4 year old. but then it's me...i'm just a complainer and he does nothing right. ...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

I talked with my brother last night and told him that he had 3 weeks to find another place to live. He was very understanding and didn't seem to be upset. And then after we both went to bed and the house was quiet, I could hear him crying in the next room. Needless to say, I have felt like a complete heel eve...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Not sure WHAT it is, but I'm feeling pretty empty and sad. I'm just trying to allow myself to feel the feelings and allow them to be so they can pass over me and not to resist or fight them. I am tired of the cycle of self abuse and self rejection. I must remember that the answer is NOT a change in others, but a ch...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

I'm new at this, so please bear with me. I have found myself in the middle of a situation with my parents and alcoholic brother which I don't seem to know how to get myself out of. I am 32, single, own my own home, have a demanding job. My brother is 39. He has been in and out of jail, treatment, etc. for th...

sadforever · sadforever

hello, this is my first time here and need advice. i am the oldest (and only girl) of 3 kids in my family. my little brother, brian, is the alcoholic. he is the middle child. he has been an alcoholic for 9 years. numerous trips to the hospital, treatment 3x, legal problems, etc. he is 33 and still liv...

pineapple · pineapple

Lately I haven't been getting out much. I go to the market in the village on Saturdays to buy food for the week and that's about it. We live on a beautiful piece of property on the lake and it's very tranquil here. Plus I just haven't felt like seeing people. All of my friends here in Guate are also T's frien...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Just wanted to share a bit of a breakthrough that I think I had yesterday. AH has been doing OK lately.. He is dry at the best of times, not in recovery, and is on some depression meds that seem to be helping his moods. He still sinks into 'stinkin poor me thinking' bout once or twice a week, as he is a dry...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey MIP family! OK so I'm 90% sure that I'm going to be leaving my husband this summer after I graduate from college. (Nothing's 100% in life!) I'm working my Plan B, and so far it seems solid. My problem is this: how can I let my family know what's going on? They've been wonderfully supportive & helpe...

Festfan · Festfan

And its actually almost funny sometimes (in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" kind of way). The ABF took my first "boundary" pretty well - that I was not going to spend time with him when he is/has been drinking. mostly because I think he is happy and relieved that I won't be tr...

Charlie · Charlie

Why do there seem to be more women here than men? I believe the ratio of alcoholics and drug addicts is approximately the same for men and women, yet there seems to be fewer men sharing here. Any thoughts?

John · John

I read some of the post here today. I couldn't reply to alot of them, because there is no set of "right words" that will express what I'm feeling or make what you are feeling, feel better. One mourning the lose of a husband, another the lose of her mother. Others expressing anger, fear, sorrow, frustra...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last week was by far one of the most stressful weeks I have had in the past 6 mths-right on up to yesterday when my camera broke. (I have a HUGE sentimental attachment to it as it was the first and pretty much last, come to think of it, thing that I bought myself when I began recovery and began focusing on me...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Realising the power behind the programme has been a mission of mine for so many years and it would seem that the power is there for the taking only if one really does dedicate oneself whole-heartedly. Many times I have thought that I understood the programme and how to work it only to be shown that I was be...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Today is a good day....i am calm, i am collected, i am singing to the radio, and i am full of hope. i have my writing and my sense of humour to thank for that. i set out to write a letter and ended up writing a poem instead. i hope you like it!... peace to all gilly

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Lately, I feel we are having problems again. I need my Higher Power to show me a way.The right way, for me to go. I am wondering lately if I should be with this man, my fiance. I care for him, but this relationship is taking a toll on me, and he doesn't see that.Not that I need him to come save me from it. But I st...

Sam72 · Sam72

I would just like to express my disgust with certain members in the AA group. NOt this the ALANON group, just incase I confuse anyone. My Partner is an Acohlic who is still drinking. He started a topic on the AA message board. The topic was "Need some feedback" by Brett. If anyone reads it th...

maresie · maresie

I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease. Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts. I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out...

Diva · Diva

If the explanation is in plain sight, I have missed it. To the left of each original post appear a check mark. Some in black squares (No New Posts) and some in gray squares (New Posts). what is the significance of these check marks? Just askin' Diva who seems to collect the "No New Posts" ki...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am sure you have heard the saying: "Don't look back." Well, my post is about looking back. There's looking back - in a positive way, when suddenly realising one is making headway one turns to see how far one has come. And there's looking back - in a negative way, when one has not left the past...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I went out with the girls last night for a friends birhday. We were drinking but had a really great evening. Then one off my friends who normally does not drink too much was drunk she had over done it and got upset. I took her to the toilets. She was saying lots of stuff has some resentments...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hello. The woman that I met over Xmas---it isn't working out. She isn't an a, but my patterns with friendships are all too familiar. I found myself wanting her approval constantly. I lost myself to her. I thought she was "better than me". And my body was getting sick again because I was putti...

hazel1066 · hazel1066

First time with AlAnon - in real life or cyber space What do I do next to request advice....please. Peace Haze;1066

jasobel · jasobel

My boyfriend of over 2years, left me 1 month ago. I have been struggling with letting him go - he is now with someone else. I have also been struggling with my higher power, questioning why he left when we were to spend the rest of our lives together. The pain has been unyielding, constant. He left his dog w...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey MIP family! I need to post today about the trials of removing some of the dependence from my relationship with my AH. Hopefully some of ya'll can relate. ;) The dependence I'm talking about is transportation. My AH doesn't drive; I do. He has many "reasons" why he doesn't, and that's fin...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I went to a f2f meeting today and the topic was this quote: "If I'm not part of the problem, I'm not part of the solution." I remember when I first got to Alanon - I thought I knew exactly what everyone else needed to do in order for me to be happy. If my ex AH would just stop drinking and go to AA, if h...

ARSK · ARSK

So my co depence is screaming right now. What I consider to be one of my best friends is an A. She recently split from her husband because she reached sobrity and thought that she needed to do more exploration in life. In reality a year later and a failed relationship since her divorce she is missing...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello dear friends and family, I cannot believe that I have not been with you for so many weeks, yes even months, and yet when I opened up my account this morning I had a reply from Loupy sent in SEPTEMBER and a message from Jerry F which he sent to me in early DECEMBER. Please forgive me and take this as my sin...

RLC · RLC

Quote from the "One Quote at a Time" section "Fear" stretches our problems way out of proportion. ------- "Faith" shrinks them down to a manageable size.---- Quote from James G., MO. I still have fears, but with the Al-Anon program my HP will always help me get thr...

Charlie · Charlie

My wife took out 5 credit cards, without my knowledge, and ran them up to the hilt in persuit of her pain killers. She was/is buying from an "on line" pharmancy. She had been out of work for the last 2 1/2 years, but has been back at work for around four months. Before I took over the finances (s...

Holly09 · Holly09

So my ABF went to a friends surprise 40th b-day party yesterday that started at 5pm. He very rarely goes out like that anymore. As a matter of fact he doesn't drink very much anymore because he is always home (when not working 60 hrs a week) and I don't tolerate his behavior. That being said I knew havin...

Diva · Diva

Blood pressure this evening 212/96. I have to go on alone. I cannot stand any more of the undercurrent that is in this house even when all seems peaceful. He just left screaming and throwing things. I am beginning to feel my health deteriorating, and I know it is because of his abominable and abhor...

Diva · Diva

The following was not posted to me, but it is as true for one of us as it is for the other. These are words to live by gang. Jerry has a way of always "hitting the nail on the head". Thanks again Jerry. Eternally grateful for your presence here on MIP, DivaReply Quote "... it's about you...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Dear MIP family, I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that unfortunately my husband was taken by the disease earlier this week. Many of you know of his battles and the many illnesses that came as a result. I knew that he was suffering terribly, that his disease was progressing at a rapid pace,...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABf is still living in his mums after his slip in Nov. I have accepted that this illness is for life and that he can not promise that he will never drink again. He is in recovry so I am trying to live one day at a time and hand it all over to HP. The problem is I am taking care of me, I need to rely on me he is sick...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Normally I don't do this, but I felt it was too important not to. Many of you know hubby was in the pharmaceutical business and dealt with these type of things. This is a link to news about the Tylenol, Motrin and St. Joseph recalls. Go to this link and read the information and then che...

miss lucy · miss lucy

am worried....spoke to AH earlier this evening (which is now yesterday!) and he was bubbling with enthusiasm! He was so excited that he had done three days straight without a drink or a smoke of the green stuff. He had decided that he wants to make a list of things that need doing around his home (i have...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), As I look around at my cosy happy home and listen to the news about Haiti, it reminds how lucky I am. How lucky I have been despite the recent trials and tribulations in my life. It's nothing compared to what these poor people are going through. May we keep all the people affected by th...

Safferchick · Safferchick

Hi guys, I am new here. I am 28 year old white female living in South Africa. I am a fun loving person who enjoys being with family and friends. I need your guys help desperately badly. If I dont do something about my drinking now it will become a major major problem. My dad loved to drink and if I dont st...

frustratedfriend2010 · frustratedfriend2010

So...I really just need to get this all off of my chest. I have a friend who is clearly an alcoholic. For awhile, I thought maybe it was just college and she would get it out of her system but it doesn't appear that way. She ended up in a relationship with a bad guy who verbally threatened her and pushed he...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

Hi Everyone! Im fairly new here and just finding my way around all that is offered here, but I have a question about the step board. I am not only new to this site but also new to Al-Anon, so I was very interested in the step board to help me learn as much as possible about the 12 steps and working them. When I...

balst19 · balst19

Hello, I am new to al-anon. I have a wonderful husband who grew up in an alcoholic family. We recently had our first child which has made our relationship with his family more complicated. My MIL is very volatile and we are constantly walking on egg shells around her. While she is the hardest to deal...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

This weekend I got very sick. Exabf and I still live together. I am looking for a place, but we have agreed to remain in the house and save money until the Bank informs us as to when we need to vacate. Our previous landlord had the property foreclosed upon and now the bank is the owner. It was a huge mess and w...

Codependent · Codependent

I know in my heart of hearts that the Addicts drug has nothing to do with why he is not in love with me and, ultimately, it is that rejection that I struggle with most.

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Things get crazy and out of control so fast around here. I just don't have a chance to catch up with them. Even when I am not part of the insanity it still drips over on me. I try to keep my distance when my son and AH start going at each other. My son is 19 going on 20 in a few days and I think is capable of dealing wi...

miss lucy · miss lucy

am pleased to report that AH hasnt had a drink for 3 days - a decision he took all by himself! He text me last night to see if i would watch a film with him - which i did. And it was great! We huddled infront of the TV just like in the days when we first met, missed most of the film because of his constant chat...

jasobel · jasobel

My A ex left 31 days ago. No matter how many meetings I go to, or how much I read, pray or talk to others, the pain is as raw as the day he left. In a recent relapse he started dating this woman who is also an alcoholic. He came back to me when he was sober, started AA again and then 3 weeks later went back to her beca...

intothewoods · intothewoods

A reading came up tonight, and I wanted to share it with the board. "Those who benefit most from [Al-Anon] have the courage to face their difficulties instead of hiding them in some dark corner of their minds, to set up a gnawing sickness of spirit." "Most of us think we know what our pro...

pineapple · pineapple

Today has been awful. Even though my A has been mostly sober for the last two days he was drunk at 9 am today. The worst part is that we get our water from a well and the well pump quit working three days ago. We bought and share our property in partnership with a friend. We have two acres and T (my A)and I have ou...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Good morning friends, I got sometime to practice step one yesterday...My son got a DUI. Both of my kids are keeping the court system busy and causing choas to swirl. He came in and apologized to me yesterday. I said I am sorry too...I am sorry you have to drag your self through this and cause yourself a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This week has proven to be a test of my program in many ways, and Im happy to say that I really think I worked my program good (for the most part) and finally set some boundaries for the first time in my life that I am happy with. Ive never been good at boundaries but this week it hit me-I CAN SET BOUNDARIES! I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It's been a while - and I'm finally happy!!!! (Preview) Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...	CJ098	4	767	Jan 20, 2010 by nmike
	PAIN (Preview) Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...	Suzannah	5	1033	Jan 20, 2010 by maresie
	New and scared (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...	HawkRN	9	600	Jan 20, 2010 by maresie
	I am the problem (Preview) Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...	RunnerChick	7	852	Jan 20, 2010 by Debilyn
	Has anyone seen my ax? (Preview) I need to detach - big time. My patience is wearing thin and my resentments are cropping up. The control freak in me is just bursting to get out. ARGH! After being on the receiving end of a couple of snarky emails and voicemails, I found myself thinking that if he didn't stop that behavior towards me...	blender_girl	3	741	Jan 20, 2010 by Debilyn
	WALKING AWAY FELT GOOD (Preview) AH has been doing really well and has been dry almost a week...we continue to live apart but see each other casually as we live so close to each other. we pass the time of day, share the car to go shopping, chat about our days and genuinely enjoy spending time together. he knows i have lost my trust in him b...	miss lucy	8	839	Jan 20, 2010 by miss lucy
	Enmeshment. (Preview) I came from a family where the parents reversed roles with the children. Somehow I became responsible for my younger sister's school phobia (I think to this day she still believes that), I was responsible for their poverty, isolation and desperate secrecy. So when I hear the word "selfish&...	maresie	8	1583	Jan 20, 2010 by blender_girl
	Is this so? (Preview) I am a little confused, the majority of posts here that I am reading seem to indicate that many of the members here have an alcoholic/addict in their life, the majority appear to be boyfriends, husbands/wives, and if they are working their program then they are able to accept the A for who he or she is...	regigse	6	841	Jan 20, 2010 by pineapple
	spoke to friend. (Preview) I ended up ringing my friend she said that she had been holding in things becaus e she new I was in a bad palce. basically we had a reaally unhealthy relationship. I people pleased all my friends now that i am looking out for me some who are healthy are o.k but the friend who got drunk is in a bad place and fe...	Tracy	3	590	Jan 20, 2010 by Christy
	Expectation Verses Respect... Lookin for ESH (Preview) Ok, So These last couple weeks, I have began again taking on Step 4, and in doing so I slammed into a "Personal" Road Block... Expectation Verses Respect... Is Respect an Expectation? I Mean Really...I am by no means perfect nor do I desire to have that kind of a Title placed upon me, however,...	Jozie	8	961	Jan 19, 2010 by Jozie
	and another thing... (Preview) why is he so damn selfish? I swear he thinks the world revolves around him. everything is his way...what we watch, eat for dinner, board games we may play. and if i have a different opinion it's like dealing with a pouty 4 year old. but then it's me...i'm just a complainer and he does nothing right. ...	lizzakiss	6	847	Jan 19, 2010 by RunnerChick
	split personalities?? (Preview) I talked with my brother last night and told him that he had 3 weeks to find another place to live. He was very understanding and didn't seem to be upset. And then after we both went to bed and the house was quiet, I could hear him crying in the next room. Needless to say, I have felt like a complete heel eve...	Gypsy_Phisch	6	1819	Jan 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	Just feeling sad (Preview) Not sure WHAT it is, but I'm feeling pretty empty and sad. I'm just trying to allow myself to feel the feelings and allow them to be so they can pass over me and not to resist or fight them. I am tired of the cycle of self abuse and self rejection. I must remember that the answer is NOT a change in others, but a ch...	RunnerChick	5	650	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
	I need serious advice (Preview) I'm new at this, so please bear with me. I have found myself in the middle of a situation with my parents and alcoholic brother which I don't seem to know how to get myself out of. I am 32, single, own my own home, have a demanding job. My brother is 39. He has been in and out of jail, treatment, etc. for th...	Gypsy_Phisch	6	944	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
	how to give the problem back (Preview) hello, this is my first time here and need advice. i am the oldest (and only girl) of 3 kids in my family. my little brother, brian, is the alcoholic. he is the middle child. he has been an alcoholic for 9 years. numerous trips to the hospital, treatment 3x, legal problems, etc. he is 33 and still liv...	sadforever	6	903	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
	feeling unsociable (Preview) Lately I haven't been getting out much. I go to the market in the village on Saturdays to buy food for the week and that's about it. We live on a beautiful piece of property on the lake and it's very tranquil here. Plus I just haven't felt like seeing people. All of my friends here in Guate are also T's frien...	pineapple	8	1404	Jan 19, 2010 by pineapple
	Then and now, New Me and Old me and the struggle in my head (Preview) Just wanted to share a bit of a breakthrough that I think I had yesterday. AH has been doing OK lately.. He is dry at the best of times, not in recovery, and is on some depression meds that seem to be helping his moods. He still sinks into 'stinkin poor me thinking' bout once or twice a week, as he is a dry...	MissyPoo	3	911	Jan 19, 2010 by Iamhere
	telling family (Preview) Hey MIP family! OK so I'm 90% sure that I'm going to be leaving my husband this summer after I graduate from college. (Nothing's 100% in life!) I'm working my Plan B, and so far it seems solid. My problem is this: how can I let my family know what's going on? They've been wonderfully supportive & helpe...	intothewoods	5	820	Jan 19, 2010 by Christy
	He JUST doesn't get it!! (Preview) And its actually almost funny sometimes (in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" kind of way). The ABF took my first "boundary" pretty well - that I was not going to spend time with him when he is/has been drinking. mostly because I think he is happy and relieved that I won't be tr...	Festfan	11	990	Jan 19, 2010 by Festfan
	More Women than Men? (Preview) Why do there seem to be more women here than men? I believe the ratio of alcoholics and drug addicts is approximately the same for men and women, yet there seems to be fewer men sharing here. Any thoughts?	Charlie	4	2817	Jan 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	From Me to You... (Preview) I read some of the post here today. I couldn't reply to alot of them, because there is no set of "right words" that will express what I'm feeling or make what you are feeling, feel better. One mourning the lose of a husband, another the lose of her mother. Others expressing anger, fear, sorrow, frustra...	John	8	950	Jan 19, 2010 by Festfan
	What I feed~grows! (Preview) Last week was by far one of the most stressful weeks I have had in the past 6 mths-right on up to yesterday when my camera broke. (I have a HUGE sentimental attachment to it as it was the first and pretty much last, come to think of it, thing that I bought myself when I began recovery and began focusing on me...	shellyj123	3	721	Jan 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	Realising the POWER behind the PROGRAMME... (Preview) Realising the power behind the programme has been a mission of mine for so many years and it would seem that the power is there for the taking only if one really does dedicate oneself whole-heartedly. Many times I have thought that I understood the programme and how to work it only to be shown that I was be...	Suzannah	5	941	Jan 18, 2010 by Charlie
	Today I wrote a poem (Preview) Today is a good day....i am calm, i am collected, i am singing to the radio, and i am full of hope. i have my writing and my sense of humour to thank for that. i set out to write a letter and ended up writing a poem instead. i hope you like it!... peace to all gilly	miss lucy	5	816	Jan 18, 2010 by Charlie
	out of balance (Preview) Lately, I feel we are having problems again. I need my Higher Power to show me a way.The right way, for me to go. I am wondering lately if I should be with this man, my fiance. I care for him, but this relationship is taking a toll on me, and he doesn't see that.Not that I need him to come save me from it. But I st...	woopsadaisy	6	740	Jan 18, 2010 by jasobel
	Partner told to STFU on AA message board (Preview) I would just like to express my disgust with certain members in the AA group. NOt this the ALANON group, just incase I confuse anyone. My Partner is an Acohlic who is still drinking. He started a topic on the AA message board. The topic was "Need some feedback" by Brett. If anyone reads it th...	Sam72	24	2049	Jan 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	sometimes quickly sometime slowly. (Preview) I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease. Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts. I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out...	maresie	4	897	Jan 18, 2010 by Suzannah
	Can someone explain the column to the far left? (Preview) If the explanation is in plain sight, I have missed it. To the left of each original post appear a check mark. Some in black squares (No New Posts) and some in gray squares (New Posts). what is the significance of these check marks? Just askin' Diva who seems to collect the "No New Posts" ki...	Diva	3	755	Jan 18, 2010 by Diva
	There's looking back and there's looking back... (Preview) I am sure you have heard the saying: "Don't look back." Well, my post is about looking back. There's looking back - in a positive way, when suddenly realising one is making headway one turns to see how far one has come. And there's looking back - in a negative way, when one has not left the past...	Suzannah	4	851	Jan 18, 2010 by canadianguy
	upsets friend (Preview) Hi everyone, I went out with the girls last night for a friends birhday. We were drinking but had a really great evening. Then one off my friends who normally does not drink too much was drunk she had over done it and got upset. I took her to the toilets. She was saying lots of stuff has some resentments...	Tracy	4	734	Jan 18, 2010 by hotrod
	had to abandon a friend (Preview) Hello. The woman that I met over Xmas---it isn't working out. She isn't an a, but my patterns with friendships are all too familiar. I found myself wanting her approval constantly. I lost myself to her. I thought she was "better than me". And my body was getting sick again because I was putti...	Carol_Lynn	7	843	Jan 17, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Alcoholic dealing with alcoholics (Preview) First time with AlAnon - in real life or cyber space What do I do next to request advice....please. Peace Haze;1066	hazel1066	6	1424	Jan 17, 2010 by nmike
	a higher power breakthrough (Preview) My boyfriend of over 2years, left me 1 month ago. I have been struggling with letting him go - he is now with someone else. I have also been struggling with my higher power, questioning why he left when we were to spend the rest of our lives together. The pain has been unyielding, constant. He left his dog w...	jasobel	2	1187	Jan 17, 2010 by nmike
	removing dependence (Preview) Hey MIP family! I need to post today about the trials of removing some of the dependence from my relationship with my AH. Hopefully some of ya'll can relate. ;) The dependence I'm talking about is transportation. My AH doesn't drive; I do. He has many "reasons" why he doesn't, and that's fin...	intothewoods	4	864	Jan 17, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Minding my own business (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting today and the topic was this quote: "If I'm not part of the problem, I'm not part of the solution." I remember when I first got to Alanon - I thought I knew exactly what everyone else needed to do in order for me to be happy. If my ex AH would just stop drinking and go to AA, if h...	White Rabbit	7	1090	Jan 17, 2010 by maresie
	Loving my friends and my husband at the same times (Preview) So my co depence is screaming right now. What I consider to be one of my best friends is an A. She recently split from her husband because she reached sobrity and thought that she needed to do more exploration in life. In reality a year later and a failed relationship since her divorce she is missing...	ARSK	5	863	Jan 17, 2010 by maresie
	So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterday... (Preview) Hello dear friends and family, I cannot believe that I have not been with you for so many weeks, yes even months, and yet when I opened up my account this morning I had a reply from Loupy sent in SEPTEMBER and a message from Jerry F which he sent to me in early DECEMBER. Please forgive me and take this as my sin...	Suzannah	8	934	Jan 17, 2010 by blender_girl
	A Quote From Forum Magazine (Preview) Quote from the "One Quote at a Time" section "Fear" stretches our problems way out of proportion. ------- "Faith" shrinks them down to a manageable size.---- Quote from James G., MO. I still have fears, but with the Al-Anon program my HP will always help me get thr...	RLC	6	1264	Jan 17, 2010 by blender_girl
	Financial Protection (Preview) My wife took out 5 credit cards, without my knowledge, and ran them up to the hilt in persuit of her pain killers. She was/is buying from an "on line" pharmancy. She had been out of work for the last 2 1/2 years, but has been back at work for around four months. Before I took over the finances (s...	Charlie	11	1027	Jan 17, 2010 by Charlie
	mad at myself for being angry with him (Preview) So my ABF went to a friends surprise 40th b-day party yesterday that started at 5pm. He very rarely goes out like that anymore. As a matter of fact he doesn't drink very much anymore because he is always home (when not working 60 hrs a week) and I don't tolerate his behavior. That being said I knew havin...	Holly09	9	1260	Jan 17, 2010 by mac57
	I cannot allow him to kill me. (Preview) Blood pressure this evening 212/96. I have to go on alone. I cannot stand any more of the undercurrent that is in this house even when all seems peaceful. He just left screaming and throwing things. I am beginning to feel my health deteriorating, and I know it is because of his abominable and abhor...	Diva	19	1195	Jan 16, 2010 by Sam72
	Thanks Jerry, for the post. (Preview) The following was not posted to me, but it is as true for one of us as it is for the other. These are words to live by gang. Jerry has a way of always "hitting the nail on the head". Thanks again Jerry. Eternally grateful for your presence here on MIP, DivaReply Quote "... it's about you...	Diva	2	710	Jan 16, 2010 by intothewoods
	The passing of my husband - may he rest in peace (Preview) Dear MIP family, I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that unfortunately my husband was taken by the disease earlier this week. Many of you know of his battles and the many illnesses that came as a result. I knew that he was suffering terribly, that his disease was progressing at a rapid pace,...	Rocky38	21	1175	Jan 16, 2010 by blender_girl
	so angrey (Preview) My ABf is still living in his mums after his slip in Nov. I have accepted that this illness is for life and that he can not promise that he will never drink again. He is in recovry so I am trying to live one day at a time and hand it all over to HP. The problem is I am taking care of me, I need to rely on me he is sick...	Tracy	4	971	Jan 16, 2010 by maresie
	Important Recall Information! (Preview) (((((Family)))), Normally I don't do this, but I felt it was too important not to. Many of you know hubby was in the pharmaceutical business and dealt with these type of things. This is a link to news about the Tylenol, Motrin and St. Joseph recalls. Go to this link and read the information and then che...	Karilynn	1	771	Jan 16, 2010 by Jerry F
	too much too soon? (Preview) am worried....spoke to AH earlier this evening (which is now yesterday!) and he was bubbling with enthusiasm! He was so excited that he had done three days straight without a drink or a smoke of the green stuff. He had decided that he wants to make a list of things that need doing around his home (i have...	miss lucy	4	1100	Jan 16, 2010 by Andrea12
	Prayers for Haiti. (Preview) ((((Family)))), As I look around at my cosy happy home and listen to the news about Haiti, it reminds how lucky I am. How lucky I have been despite the recent trials and tribulations in my life. It's nothing compared to what these poor people are going through. May we keep all the people affected by th...	Karilynn	5	999	Jan 16, 2010 by Andrea12
	Urgent help (Preview) Hi guys, I am new here. I am 28 year old white female living in South Africa. I am a fun loving person who enjoys being with family and friends. I need your guys help desperately badly. If I dont do something about my drinking now it will become a major major problem. My dad loved to drink and if I dont st...	Safferchick	1	562	Jan 16, 2010 by ImFree2004
	I'm new... (Preview) So...I really just need to get this all off of my chest. I have a friend who is clearly an alcoholic. For awhile, I thought maybe it was just college and she would get it out of her system but it doesn't appear that way. She ended up in a relationship with a bad guy who verbally threatened her and pushed he...	frustratedfriend2010	13	1297	Jan 16, 2010 by Suzi1965
	Step Work Board Question (Preview) Hi Everyone! Im fairly new here and just finding my way around all that is offered here, but I have a question about the step board. I am not only new to this site but also new to Al-Anon, so I was very interested in the step board to help me learn as much as possible about the 12 steps and working them. When I...	Suzi1965	3	897	Jan 16, 2010 by Suzi1965
	New to al-anon - books? (Preview) Hello, I am new to al-anon. I have a wonderful husband who grew up in an alcoholic family. We recently had our first child which has made our relationship with his family more complicated. My MIL is very volatile and we are constantly walking on egg shells around her. While she is the hardest to deal...	balst19	7	1808	Jan 16, 2010 by pineapple
	Monitoring expectations (Preview) This weekend I got very sick. Exabf and I still live together. I am looking for a place, but we have agreed to remain in the house and save money until the Bank informs us as to when we need to vacate. Our previous landlord had the property foreclosed upon and now the bank is the owner. It was a huge mess and w...	RunnerChick	2	681	Jan 16, 2010 by woopsadaisy
	Sick or not he will still not want me.... (Preview) I know in my heart of hearts that the Addicts drug has nothing to do with why he is not in love with me and, ultimately, it is that rejection that I struggle with most.	Codependent	5	1003	Jan 15, 2010 by maresie
	When Will They Learn, to live together?!!! It's been 20 years now (Preview) Things get crazy and out of control so fast around here. I just don't have a chance to catch up with them. Even when I am not part of the insanity it still drips over on me. I try to keep my distance when my son and AH start going at each other. My son is 19 going on 20 in a few days and I think is capable of dealing wi...	wildthang86	6	1037	Jan 15, 2010 by maresie
	AH making a real effort! (Preview) am pleased to report that AH hasnt had a drink for 3 days - a decision he took all by himself! He text me last night to see if i would watch a film with him - which i did. And it was great! We huddled infront of the TV just like in the days when we first met, missed most of the film because of his constant chat...	miss lucy	4	918	Jan 15, 2010 by Tracy
	What to do with the pain of loss? (Preview) My A ex left 31 days ago. No matter how many meetings I go to, or how much I read, pray or talk to others, the pain is as raw as the day he left. In a recent relapse he started dating this woman who is also an alcoholic. He came back to me when he was sober, started AA again and then 3 weeks later went back to her beca...	jasobel	9	924	Jan 15, 2010 by Festfan
	putting our problems into words (Preview) A reading came up tonight, and I wanted to share it with the board. "Those who benefit most from [Al-Anon] have the courage to face their difficulties instead of hiding them in some dark corner of their minds, to set up a gnawing sickness of spirit." "Most of us think we know what our pro...	intothewoods	3	632	Jan 15, 2010 by idontknow
	In the middle (Preview) Today has been awful. Even though my A has been mostly sober for the last two days he was drunk at 9 am today. The worst part is that we get our water from a well and the well pump quit working three days ago. We bought and share our property in partnership with a friend. We have two acres and T (my A)and I have ou...	pineapple	5	776	Jan 15, 2010 by DreamsOver
	2 kids in the court system now...but I am so busy I can not join the choas (Preview) Good morning friends, I got sometime to practice step one yesterday...My son got a DUI. Both of my kids are keeping the court system busy and causing choas to swirl. He came in and apologized to me yesterday. I said I am sorry too...I am sorry you have to drag your self through this and cause yourself a...	fishinmama	4	878	Jan 15, 2010 by Festfan
	Living the serenity prayer....... (Preview) This week has proven to be a test of my program in many ways, and Im happy to say that I really think I worked my program good (for the most part) and finally set some boundaries for the first time in my life that I am happy with. Ive never been good at boundaries but this week it hit me-I CAN SET BOUNDARIES! I...	shellyj123	1	1546	Jan 15, 2010 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.