Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Just wanted to share a bit of a breakthrough that I think I had yesterday. AH has been doing OK lately.. He is dry at the best of times, not in recovery, and is on some depression meds that seem to be helping his moods. He still sinks into 'stinkin poor me thinking' bout once or twice a week, as he is a dry...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey MIP family! OK so I'm 90% sure that I'm going to be leaving my husband this summer after I graduate from college. (Nothing's 100% in life!) I'm working my Plan B, and so far it seems solid. My problem is this: how can I let my family know what's going on? They've been wonderfully supportive & helpe...

Festfan · Festfan

And its actually almost funny sometimes (in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" kind of way). The ABF took my first "boundary" pretty well - that I was not going to spend time with him when he is/has been drinking. mostly because I think he is happy and relieved that I won't be tr...

Charlie · Charlie

Why do there seem to be more women here than men? I believe the ratio of alcoholics and drug addicts is approximately the same for men and women, yet there seems to be fewer men sharing here. Any thoughts?

John · John

I read some of the post here today. I couldn't reply to alot of them, because there is no set of "right words" that will express what I'm feeling or make what you are feeling, feel better. One mourning the lose of a husband, another the lose of her mother. Others expressing anger, fear, sorrow, frustra...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last week was by far one of the most stressful weeks I have had in the past 6 mths-right on up to yesterday when my camera broke. (I have a HUGE sentimental attachment to it as it was the first and pretty much last, come to think of it, thing that I bought myself when I began recovery and began focusing on me...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Realising the power behind the programme has been a mission of mine for so many years and it would seem that the power is there for the taking only if one really does dedicate oneself whole-heartedly. Many times I have thought that I understood the programme and how to work it only to be shown that I was be...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Today is a good day....i am calm, i am collected, i am singing to the radio, and i am full of hope. i have my writing and my sense of humour to thank for that. i set out to write a letter and ended up writing a poem instead. i hope you like it!... peace to all gilly

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Lately, I feel we are having problems again. I need my Higher Power to show me a way.The right way, for me to go. I am wondering lately if I should be with this man, my fiance. I care for him, but this relationship is taking a toll on me, and he doesn't see that.Not that I need him to come save me from it. But I st...

Sam72 · Sam72

I would just like to express my disgust with certain members in the AA group. NOt this the ALANON group, just incase I confuse anyone. My Partner is an Acohlic who is still drinking. He started a topic on the AA message board. The topic was "Need some feedback" by Brett. If anyone reads it th...

maresie · maresie

I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease. Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts. I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out...

Diva · Diva

If the explanation is in plain sight, I have missed it. To the left of each original post appear a check mark. Some in black squares (No New Posts) and some in gray squares (New Posts). what is the significance of these check marks? Just askin' Diva who seems to collect the "No New Posts" ki...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am sure you have heard the saying: "Don't look back." Well, my post is about looking back. There's looking back - in a positive way, when suddenly realising one is making headway one turns to see how far one has come. And there's looking back - in a negative way, when one has not left the past...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I went out with the girls last night for a friends birhday. We were drinking but had a really great evening. Then one off my friends who normally does not drink too much was drunk she had over done it and got upset. I took her to the toilets. She was saying lots of stuff has some resentments...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hello. The woman that I met over Xmas---it isn't working out. She isn't an a, but my patterns with friendships are all too familiar. I found myself wanting her approval constantly. I lost myself to her. I thought she was "better than me". And my body was getting sick again because I was putti...

hazel1066 · hazel1066

First time with AlAnon - in real life or cyber space What do I do next to request advice....please. Peace Haze;1066

jasobel · jasobel

My boyfriend of over 2years, left me 1 month ago. I have been struggling with letting him go - he is now with someone else. I have also been struggling with my higher power, questioning why he left when we were to spend the rest of our lives together. The pain has been unyielding, constant. He left his dog w...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey MIP family! I need to post today about the trials of removing some of the dependence from my relationship with my AH. Hopefully some of ya'll can relate. ;) The dependence I'm talking about is transportation. My AH doesn't drive; I do. He has many "reasons" why he doesn't, and that's fin...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I went to a f2f meeting today and the topic was this quote: "If I'm not part of the problem, I'm not part of the solution." I remember when I first got to Alanon - I thought I knew exactly what everyone else needed to do in order for me to be happy. If my ex AH would just stop drinking and go to AA, if h...

ARSK · ARSK

So my co depence is screaming right now. What I consider to be one of my best friends is an A. She recently split from her husband because she reached sobrity and thought that she needed to do more exploration in life. In reality a year later and a failed relationship since her divorce she is missing...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello dear friends and family, I cannot believe that I have not been with you for so many weeks, yes even months, and yet when I opened up my account this morning I had a reply from Loupy sent in SEPTEMBER and a message from Jerry F which he sent to me in early DECEMBER. Please forgive me and take this as my sin...

RLC · RLC

Quote from the "One Quote at a Time" section "Fear" stretches our problems way out of proportion. ------- "Faith" shrinks them down to a manageable size.---- Quote from James G., MO. I still have fears, but with the Al-Anon program my HP will always help me get thr...

Charlie · Charlie

My wife took out 5 credit cards, without my knowledge, and ran them up to the hilt in persuit of her pain killers. She was/is buying from an "on line" pharmancy. She had been out of work for the last 2 1/2 years, but has been back at work for around four months. Before I took over the finances (s...

Holly09 · Holly09

So my ABF went to a friends surprise 40th b-day party yesterday that started at 5pm. He very rarely goes out like that anymore. As a matter of fact he doesn't drink very much anymore because he is always home (when not working 60 hrs a week) and I don't tolerate his behavior. That being said I knew havin...

Diva · Diva

Blood pressure this evening 212/96. I have to go on alone. I cannot stand any more of the undercurrent that is in this house even when all seems peaceful. He just left screaming and throwing things. I am beginning to feel my health deteriorating, and I know it is because of his abominable and abhor...

Diva · Diva

The following was not posted to me, but it is as true for one of us as it is for the other. These are words to live by gang. Jerry has a way of always "hitting the nail on the head". Thanks again Jerry. Eternally grateful for your presence here on MIP, DivaReply Quote "... it's about you...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Dear MIP family, I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that unfortunately my husband was taken by the disease earlier this week. Many of you know of his battles and the many illnesses that came as a result. I knew that he was suffering terribly, that his disease was progressing at a rapid pace,...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABf is still living in his mums after his slip in Nov. I have accepted that this illness is for life and that he can not promise that he will never drink again. He is in recovry so I am trying to live one day at a time and hand it all over to HP. The problem is I am taking care of me, I need to rely on me he is sick...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Normally I don't do this, but I felt it was too important not to. Many of you know hubby was in the pharmaceutical business and dealt with these type of things. This is a link to news about the Tylenol, Motrin and St. Joseph recalls. Go to this link and read the information and then che...

miss lucy · miss lucy

am worried....spoke to AH earlier this evening (which is now yesterday!) and he was bubbling with enthusiasm! He was so excited that he had done three days straight without a drink or a smoke of the green stuff. He had decided that he wants to make a list of things that need doing around his home (i have...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), As I look around at my cosy happy home and listen to the news about Haiti, it reminds how lucky I am. How lucky I have been despite the recent trials and tribulations in my life. It's nothing compared to what these poor people are going through. May we keep all the people affected by th...

Safferchick · Safferchick

Hi guys, I am new here. I am 28 year old white female living in South Africa. I am a fun loving person who enjoys being with family and friends. I need your guys help desperately badly. If I dont do something about my drinking now it will become a major major problem. My dad loved to drink and if I dont st...

frustratedfriend2010 · frustratedfriend2010

So...I really just need to get this all off of my chest. I have a friend who is clearly an alcoholic. For awhile, I thought maybe it was just college and she would get it out of her system but it doesn't appear that way. She ended up in a relationship with a bad guy who verbally threatened her and pushed he...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

Hi Everyone! Im fairly new here and just finding my way around all that is offered here, but I have a question about the step board. I am not only new to this site but also new to Al-Anon, so I was very interested in the step board to help me learn as much as possible about the 12 steps and working them. When I...

balst19 · balst19

Hello, I am new to al-anon. I have a wonderful husband who grew up in an alcoholic family. We recently had our first child which has made our relationship with his family more complicated. My MIL is very volatile and we are constantly walking on egg shells around her. While she is the hardest to deal...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

This weekend I got very sick. Exabf and I still live together. I am looking for a place, but we have agreed to remain in the house and save money until the Bank informs us as to when we need to vacate. Our previous landlord had the property foreclosed upon and now the bank is the owner. It was a huge mess and w...

Codependent · Codependent

I know in my heart of hearts that the Addicts drug has nothing to do with why he is not in love with me and, ultimately, it is that rejection that I struggle with most.

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Things get crazy and out of control so fast around here. I just don't have a chance to catch up with them. Even when I am not part of the insanity it still drips over on me. I try to keep my distance when my son and AH start going at each other. My son is 19 going on 20 in a few days and I think is capable of dealing wi...

miss lucy · miss lucy

am pleased to report that AH hasnt had a drink for 3 days - a decision he took all by himself! He text me last night to see if i would watch a film with him - which i did. And it was great! We huddled infront of the TV just like in the days when we first met, missed most of the film because of his constant chat...

jasobel · jasobel

My A ex left 31 days ago. No matter how many meetings I go to, or how much I read, pray or talk to others, the pain is as raw as the day he left. In a recent relapse he started dating this woman who is also an alcoholic. He came back to me when he was sober, started AA again and then 3 weeks later went back to her beca...

intothewoods · intothewoods

A reading came up tonight, and I wanted to share it with the board. "Those who benefit most from [Al-Anon] have the courage to face their difficulties instead of hiding them in some dark corner of their minds, to set up a gnawing sickness of spirit." "Most of us think we know what our pro...

pineapple · pineapple

Today has been awful. Even though my A has been mostly sober for the last two days he was drunk at 9 am today. The worst part is that we get our water from a well and the well pump quit working three days ago. We bought and share our property in partnership with a friend. We have two acres and T (my A)and I have ou...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Good morning friends, I got sometime to practice step one yesterday...My son got a DUI. Both of my kids are keeping the court system busy and causing choas to swirl. He came in and apologized to me yesterday. I said I am sorry too...I am sorry you have to drag your self through this and cause yourself a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This week has proven to be a test of my program in many ways, and Im happy to say that I really think I worked my program good (for the most part) and finally set some boundaries for the first time in my life that I am happy with. Ive never been good at boundaries but this week it hit me-I CAN SET BOUNDARIES! I...

Codependent · Codependent

The A left for Rehab today. I did not call to say bye. I did not call his mom. I did not call and offer support. However, at the last minute I sent him a pic via phone of him and his kids. I'm not sure why...well, maybe I am. I guess it was a last minute reminder of me. A last minute attempt to get reaction....

fishinmama · fishinmama

Goodmorning family, Strange where the message comes from. Yesterday I was watching The Joy of Painting on OPB with Bob Ross. He paints with 2 - 4 inch brushes and quickly. Has a very happy different outlook - at least different from mine. He was talking about painting clouds in his picture and he sa...

DBROOKS5511 · DBROOKS5511

Hi, my name is Diana and I am 20 years old. I have been in an on and off again relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years. He is EVERYTHING I would want in a man and I could definitely see myself marrying and starting a family with him, EXCEPT when he drinks. I am not sure if Al-Anon is right for me or not. Here is...

miss lucy · miss lucy

i read a sign a long time ago that has had a profound effect on me and stays with me to this day - you know the signs i mean? the cartoon type ones that are usually hung on the back of lavatory doors. In fact, if i remember correctly, it was on the back of my mum's lav door just after she split with schizo bf.......

Ness · Ness

My daughter, who became a single parent exactly one yr ago, when she asked her A husband to leave, has had the offer of not one job but two! One job is safe, (boring) well paid (with pension plan etc) but no chance for her to grow in her field. The other is with a vibrant, young dynamic company, 3 month trial...

idontknow · idontknow

i have a hard time with this--determining what is controlling vs putting up boundaries. I often feel like people are more trying to control me than vice versa. Like today, on a message board with one of my ex's. I have no relationship with him at all. (he dumped me--HARDCORE) Yet he constantly brings up...

Columbine 1122 · Columbine 1122

How do you begin to confront the feelings of losing a parent? I'm only 28 years old and my mom is gone. Forever. My mom was an alcoholic before I was even born. She used to think it was funny that she drank while she was pregnant with me and "my daughter turned out just fine!" I never thought...

intothewoods · intothewoods

The f2f meeting I *thought* was today is tomorrow. Well! One day at a time, right? Since there's no meeting for me, I thought I'd post here instead. I'm having mixed feelings that I need to let loose on the internet. Well... He went to a meeting with an addiction counselor today, and he got more info about...

Codependent · Codependent

My therapist says I have choices and just need to stop with all these "feelings" for him. "Feelings" of rejection. "Feelings" of wanting him. "Feelings" of preoccupation. How do you stop feelings?

regigse · regigse

Greetings everyone my name is Regina, I just joined your online al-anon message board. It surprises me that I did because I have been near al-anon before, and I didn't think I was enabler. I still am not sure that I am, but I do know that how I feel right now... Just about all of you have probably felt.....

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I know that no one can tell me what to do, but I want to run a situation by you and get some opinions. Last year we were supposed to go to Hawaii. We've been going every year for 10 years. We have a time-share there, so we don't every have to play for a place to stay. We bought 2 plane tickets and the 3rd one was p...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Life is too short not to dance around the house with our furry friends. So grab your pets, step away from the chaos and boogie down with them. You'll be surprised how much you smile. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the day. Much love and blessings to you and your families and of course, our pe...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hi all. i had a text last night from AH saying he missed me and the dog! BREAKTHROUGH #1. He never backs down. Up until now its always been me that has made the peace, done the chasing to make things better. I was shocked to say the least. It was quite late when he text so i naturally thought here we go.,.....

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I hope I'm not completely overstepping my posting boundaries here. Feel like I've been a posting demon the past week or so, but I guess this is my form of "sharing" outside of the rooms. For that I am SOOOO grateful for this board and for all of the wonderful members :) Last night, my exabf whom...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am told to PRACTICE powerlessness. Practice Step one. How? In my mind I seem to resist this surrender. I feel if I do this than there is no way my exabf will want me back. Ibelieve that my struggling and fighting and trying to maintain some sort of control - somehow prevents pain? I am learning that power...

pineapple · pineapple

My A still drank on the past two days, but unlike most days lately he didn't drink til he was drunk or passed out. He barely drank at all and was actually sober for most of the time. It was so nice having him ¨present¨ for a change. But it was so hard for me to admit my powerlessness. I kept thinking that becaus...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Then and now, New Me and Old me and the struggle in my head (Preview) Just wanted to share a bit of a breakthrough that I think I had yesterday. AH has been doing OK lately.. He is dry at the best of times, not in recovery, and is on some depression meds that seem to be helping his moods. He still sinks into 'stinkin poor me thinking' bout once or twice a week, as he is a dry...	MissyPoo	3	894	Jan 19, 2010 by Iamhere
	telling family (Preview) Hey MIP family! OK so I'm 90% sure that I'm going to be leaving my husband this summer after I graduate from college. (Nothing's 100% in life!) I'm working my Plan B, and so far it seems solid. My problem is this: how can I let my family know what's going on? They've been wonderfully supportive & helpe...	intothewoods	5	804	Jan 19, 2010 by Christy
	He JUST doesn't get it!! (Preview) And its actually almost funny sometimes (in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" kind of way). The ABF took my first "boundary" pretty well - that I was not going to spend time with him when he is/has been drinking. mostly because I think he is happy and relieved that I won't be tr...	Festfan	11	964	Jan 19, 2010 by Festfan
	More Women than Men? (Preview) Why do there seem to be more women here than men? I believe the ratio of alcoholics and drug addicts is approximately the same for men and women, yet there seems to be fewer men sharing here. Any thoughts?	Charlie	4	2662	Jan 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	From Me to You... (Preview) I read some of the post here today. I couldn't reply to alot of them, because there is no set of "right words" that will express what I'm feeling or make what you are feeling, feel better. One mourning the lose of a husband, another the lose of her mother. Others expressing anger, fear, sorrow, frustra...	John	8	933	Jan 19, 2010 by Festfan
	What I feed~grows! (Preview) Last week was by far one of the most stressful weeks I have had in the past 6 mths-right on up to yesterday when my camera broke. (I have a HUGE sentimental attachment to it as it was the first and pretty much last, come to think of it, thing that I bought myself when I began recovery and began focusing on me...	shellyj123	3	710	Jan 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	Realising the POWER behind the PROGRAMME... (Preview) Realising the power behind the programme has been a mission of mine for so many years and it would seem that the power is there for the taking only if one really does dedicate oneself whole-heartedly. Many times I have thought that I understood the programme and how to work it only to be shown that I was be...	Suzannah	5	924	Jan 18, 2010 by Charlie
	Today I wrote a poem (Preview) Today is a good day....i am calm, i am collected, i am singing to the radio, and i am full of hope. i have my writing and my sense of humour to thank for that. i set out to write a letter and ended up writing a poem instead. i hope you like it!... peace to all gilly	miss lucy	5	807	Jan 18, 2010 by Charlie
	out of balance (Preview) Lately, I feel we are having problems again. I need my Higher Power to show me a way.The right way, for me to go. I am wondering lately if I should be with this man, my fiance. I care for him, but this relationship is taking a toll on me, and he doesn't see that.Not that I need him to come save me from it. But I st...	woopsadaisy	6	723	Jan 18, 2010 by jasobel
	Partner told to STFU on AA message board (Preview) I would just like to express my disgust with certain members in the AA group. NOt this the ALANON group, just incase I confuse anyone. My Partner is an Acohlic who is still drinking. He started a topic on the AA message board. The topic was "Need some feedback" by Brett. If anyone reads it th...	Sam72	24	2022	Jan 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	sometimes quickly sometime slowly. (Preview) I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease. Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts. I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out...	maresie	4	875	Jan 18, 2010 by Suzannah
	Can someone explain the column to the far left? (Preview) If the explanation is in plain sight, I have missed it. To the left of each original post appear a check mark. Some in black squares (No New Posts) and some in gray squares (New Posts). what is the significance of these check marks? Just askin' Diva who seems to collect the "No New Posts" ki...	Diva	3	738	Jan 18, 2010 by Diva
	There's looking back and there's looking back... (Preview) I am sure you have heard the saying: "Don't look back." Well, my post is about looking back. There's looking back - in a positive way, when suddenly realising one is making headway one turns to see how far one has come. And there's looking back - in a negative way, when one has not left the past...	Suzannah	4	841	Jan 18, 2010 by canadianguy
	upsets friend (Preview) Hi everyone, I went out with the girls last night for a friends birhday. We were drinking but had a really great evening. Then one off my friends who normally does not drink too much was drunk she had over done it and got upset. I took her to the toilets. She was saying lots of stuff has some resentments...	Tracy	4	721	Jan 18, 2010 by hotrod
	had to abandon a friend (Preview) Hello. The woman that I met over Xmas---it isn't working out. She isn't an a, but my patterns with friendships are all too familiar. I found myself wanting her approval constantly. I lost myself to her. I thought she was "better than me". And my body was getting sick again because I was putti...	Carol_Lynn	7	784	Jan 17, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Alcoholic dealing with alcoholics (Preview) First time with AlAnon - in real life or cyber space What do I do next to request advice....please. Peace Haze;1066	hazel1066	6	1403	Jan 17, 2010 by nmike
	a higher power breakthrough (Preview) My boyfriend of over 2years, left me 1 month ago. I have been struggling with letting him go - he is now with someone else. I have also been struggling with my higher power, questioning why he left when we were to spend the rest of our lives together. The pain has been unyielding, constant. He left his dog w...	jasobel	2	1169	Jan 17, 2010 by nmike
	removing dependence (Preview) Hey MIP family! I need to post today about the trials of removing some of the dependence from my relationship with my AH. Hopefully some of ya'll can relate. ;) The dependence I'm talking about is transportation. My AH doesn't drive; I do. He has many "reasons" why he doesn't, and that's fin...	intothewoods	4	850	Jan 17, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Minding my own business (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting today and the topic was this quote: "If I'm not part of the problem, I'm not part of the solution." I remember when I first got to Alanon - I thought I knew exactly what everyone else needed to do in order for me to be happy. If my ex AH would just stop drinking and go to AA, if h...	White Rabbit	7	1073	Jan 17, 2010 by maresie
	Loving my friends and my husband at the same times (Preview) So my co depence is screaming right now. What I consider to be one of my best friends is an A. She recently split from her husband because she reached sobrity and thought that she needed to do more exploration in life. In reality a year later and a failed relationship since her divorce she is missing...	ARSK	5	838	Jan 17, 2010 by maresie
	So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterday... (Preview) Hello dear friends and family, I cannot believe that I have not been with you for so many weeks, yes even months, and yet when I opened up my account this morning I had a reply from Loupy sent in SEPTEMBER and a message from Jerry F which he sent to me in early DECEMBER. Please forgive me and take this as my sin...	Suzannah	8	915	Jan 17, 2010 by blender_girl
	A Quote From Forum Magazine (Preview) Quote from the "One Quote at a Time" section "Fear" stretches our problems way out of proportion. ------- "Faith" shrinks them down to a manageable size.---- Quote from James G., MO. I still have fears, but with the Al-Anon program my HP will always help me get thr...	RLC	6	1239	Jan 17, 2010 by blender_girl
	Financial Protection (Preview) My wife took out 5 credit cards, without my knowledge, and ran them up to the hilt in persuit of her pain killers. She was/is buying from an "on line" pharmancy. She had been out of work for the last 2 1/2 years, but has been back at work for around four months. Before I took over the finances (s...	Charlie	11	1012	Jan 17, 2010 by Charlie
	mad at myself for being angry with him (Preview) So my ABF went to a friends surprise 40th b-day party yesterday that started at 5pm. He very rarely goes out like that anymore. As a matter of fact he doesn't drink very much anymore because he is always home (when not working 60 hrs a week) and I don't tolerate his behavior. That being said I knew havin...	Holly09	9	1248	Jan 17, 2010 by mac57
	I cannot allow him to kill me. (Preview) Blood pressure this evening 212/96. I have to go on alone. I cannot stand any more of the undercurrent that is in this house even when all seems peaceful. He just left screaming and throwing things. I am beginning to feel my health deteriorating, and I know it is because of his abominable and abhor...	Diva	19	1181	Jan 16, 2010 by Sam72
	Thanks Jerry, for the post. (Preview) The following was not posted to me, but it is as true for one of us as it is for the other. These are words to live by gang. Jerry has a way of always "hitting the nail on the head". Thanks again Jerry. Eternally grateful for your presence here on MIP, DivaReply Quote "... it's about you...	Diva	2	695	Jan 16, 2010 by intothewoods
	The passing of my husband - may he rest in peace (Preview) Dear MIP family, I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that unfortunately my husband was taken by the disease earlier this week. Many of you know of his battles and the many illnesses that came as a result. I knew that he was suffering terribly, that his disease was progressing at a rapid pace,...	Rocky38	21	1166	Jan 16, 2010 by blender_girl
	so angrey (Preview) My ABf is still living in his mums after his slip in Nov. I have accepted that this illness is for life and that he can not promise that he will never drink again. He is in recovry so I am trying to live one day at a time and hand it all over to HP. The problem is I am taking care of me, I need to rely on me he is sick...	Tracy	4	954	Jan 16, 2010 by maresie
	Important Recall Information! (Preview) (((((Family)))), Normally I don't do this, but I felt it was too important not to. Many of you know hubby was in the pharmaceutical business and dealt with these type of things. This is a link to news about the Tylenol, Motrin and St. Joseph recalls. Go to this link and read the information and then che...	Karilynn	1	756	Jan 16, 2010 by Jerry F
	too much too soon? (Preview) am worried....spoke to AH earlier this evening (which is now yesterday!) and he was bubbling with enthusiasm! He was so excited that he had done three days straight without a drink or a smoke of the green stuff. He had decided that he wants to make a list of things that need doing around his home (i have...	miss lucy	4	1085	Jan 16, 2010 by Andrea12
	Prayers for Haiti. (Preview) ((((Family)))), As I look around at my cosy happy home and listen to the news about Haiti, it reminds how lucky I am. How lucky I have been despite the recent trials and tribulations in my life. It's nothing compared to what these poor people are going through. May we keep all the people affected by th...	Karilynn	5	983	Jan 16, 2010 by Andrea12
	Urgent help (Preview) Hi guys, I am new here. I am 28 year old white female living in South Africa. I am a fun loving person who enjoys being with family and friends. I need your guys help desperately badly. If I dont do something about my drinking now it will become a major major problem. My dad loved to drink and if I dont st...	Safferchick	1	548	Jan 16, 2010 by ImFree2004
	I'm new... (Preview) So...I really just need to get this all off of my chest. I have a friend who is clearly an alcoholic. For awhile, I thought maybe it was just college and she would get it out of her system but it doesn't appear that way. She ended up in a relationship with a bad guy who verbally threatened her and pushed he...	frustratedfriend2010	13	1272	Jan 16, 2010 by Suzi1965
	Step Work Board Question (Preview) Hi Everyone! Im fairly new here and just finding my way around all that is offered here, but I have a question about the step board. I am not only new to this site but also new to Al-Anon, so I was very interested in the step board to help me learn as much as possible about the 12 steps and working them. When I...	Suzi1965	3	868	Jan 16, 2010 by Suzi1965
	New to al-anon - books? (Preview) Hello, I am new to al-anon. I have a wonderful husband who grew up in an alcoholic family. We recently had our first child which has made our relationship with his family more complicated. My MIL is very volatile and we are constantly walking on egg shells around her. While she is the hardest to deal...	balst19	7	1791	Jan 16, 2010 by pineapple
	Monitoring expectations (Preview) This weekend I got very sick. Exabf and I still live together. I am looking for a place, but we have agreed to remain in the house and save money until the Bank informs us as to when we need to vacate. Our previous landlord had the property foreclosed upon and now the bank is the owner. It was a huge mess and w...	RunnerChick	2	661	Jan 16, 2010 by woopsadaisy
	Sick or not he will still not want me.... (Preview) I know in my heart of hearts that the Addicts drug has nothing to do with why he is not in love with me and, ultimately, it is that rejection that I struggle with most.	Codependent	5	986	Jan 15, 2010 by maresie
	When Will They Learn, to live together?!!! It's been 20 years now (Preview) Things get crazy and out of control so fast around here. I just don't have a chance to catch up with them. Even when I am not part of the insanity it still drips over on me. I try to keep my distance when my son and AH start going at each other. My son is 19 going on 20 in a few days and I think is capable of dealing wi...	wildthang86	6	1027	Jan 15, 2010 by maresie
	AH making a real effort! (Preview) am pleased to report that AH hasnt had a drink for 3 days - a decision he took all by himself! He text me last night to see if i would watch a film with him - which i did. And it was great! We huddled infront of the TV just like in the days when we first met, missed most of the film because of his constant chat...	miss lucy	4	901	Jan 15, 2010 by Tracy
	What to do with the pain of loss? (Preview) My A ex left 31 days ago. No matter how many meetings I go to, or how much I read, pray or talk to others, the pain is as raw as the day he left. In a recent relapse he started dating this woman who is also an alcoholic. He came back to me when he was sober, started AA again and then 3 weeks later went back to her beca...	jasobel	9	910	Jan 15, 2010 by Festfan
	putting our problems into words (Preview) A reading came up tonight, and I wanted to share it with the board. "Those who benefit most from [Al-Anon] have the courage to face their difficulties instead of hiding them in some dark corner of their minds, to set up a gnawing sickness of spirit." "Most of us think we know what our pro...	intothewoods	3	618	Jan 15, 2010 by idontknow
	In the middle (Preview) Today has been awful. Even though my A has been mostly sober for the last two days he was drunk at 9 am today. The worst part is that we get our water from a well and the well pump quit working three days ago. We bought and share our property in partnership with a friend. We have two acres and T (my A)and I have ou...	pineapple	5	753	Jan 15, 2010 by DreamsOver
	2 kids in the court system now...but I am so busy I can not join the choas (Preview) Good morning friends, I got sometime to practice step one yesterday...My son got a DUI. Both of my kids are keeping the court system busy and causing choas to swirl. He came in and apologized to me yesterday. I said I am sorry too...I am sorry you have to drag your self through this and cause yourself a...	fishinmama	4	866	Jan 15, 2010 by Festfan
	Living the serenity prayer....... (Preview) This week has proven to be a test of my program in many ways, and Im happy to say that I really think I worked my program good (for the most part) and finally set some boundaries for the first time in my life that I am happy with. Ive never been good at boundaries but this week it hit me-I CAN SET BOUNDARIES! I...	shellyj123	1	1530	Jan 15, 2010 by hotrod
	Reaction (Preview) The A left for Rehab today. I did not call to say bye. I did not call his mom. I did not call and offer support. However, at the last minute I sent him a pic via phone of him and his kids. I'm not sure why...well, maybe I am. I guess it was a last minute reminder of me. A last minute attempt to get reaction....	Codependent	3	876	Jan 14, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Clearer thoughts from an unlikely sourse (Preview) Goodmorning family, Strange where the message comes from. Yesterday I was watching The Joy of Painting on OPB with Bob Ross. He paints with 2 - 4 inch brushes and quickly. Has a very happy different outlook - at least different from mine. He was talking about painting clouds in his picture and he sa...	fishinmama	2	794	Jan 14, 2010 by miss lucy
	IS HE AN ALCOHOLIC?? (Preview) Hi, my name is Diana and I am 20 years old. I have been in an on and off again relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years. He is EVERYTHING I would want in a man and I could definitely see myself marrying and starting a family with him, EXCEPT when he drinks. I am not sure if Al-Anon is right for me or not. Here is...	DBROOKS5511	12	1210	Jan 14, 2010 by Ness
	practising detatchment (Preview) i read a sign a long time ago that has had a profound effect on me and stays with me to this day - you know the signs i mean? the cartoon type ones that are usually hung on the back of lavatory doors. In fact, if i remember correctly, it was on the back of my mum's lav door just after she split with schizo bf.......	miss lucy	4	808	Jan 14, 2010 by miss lucy
	Good news (Preview) My daughter, who became a single parent exactly one yr ago, when she asked her A husband to leave, has had the offer of not one job but two! One job is safe, (boring) well paid (with pension plan etc) but no chance for her to grow in her field. The other is with a vibrant, young dynamic company, 3 month trial...	Ness	6	701	Jan 14, 2010 by Ness
	controlling vs boundaries (Preview) i have a hard time with this--determining what is controlling vs putting up boundaries. I often feel like people are more trying to control me than vice versa. Like today, on a message board with one of my ex's. I have no relationship with him at all. (he dumped me--HARDCORE) Yet he constantly brings up...	idontknow	8	2183	Jan 14, 2010 by Mattie
	My heart is breaking for my mom who passed away last month. (Preview) How do you begin to confront the feelings of losing a parent? I'm only 28 years old and my mom is gone. Forever. My mom was an alcoholic before I was even born. She used to think it was funny that she drank while she was pregnant with me and "my daughter turned out just fine!" I never thought...	Columbine 1122	12	1141	Jan 14, 2010 by Karilynn
	trying not to hope (Preview) The f2f meeting I thought was today is tomorrow. Well! One day at a time, right? Since there's no meeting for me, I thought I'd post here instead. I'm having mixed feelings that I need to let loose on the internet. Well... He went to a meeting with an addiction counselor today, and he got more info about...	intothewoods	9	867	Jan 14, 2010 by kitty
	Feelings (Preview) My therapist says I have choices and just need to stop with all these "feelings" for him. "Feelings" of rejection. "Feelings" of wanting him. "Feelings" of preoccupation. How do you stop feelings?	Codependent	3	791	Jan 14, 2010 by RunnerChick
	I just miss her so much... (Preview) Greetings everyone my name is Regina, I just joined your online al-anon message board. It surprises me that I did because I have been near al-anon before, and I didn't think I was enabler. I still am not sure that I am, but I do know that how I feel right now... Just about all of you have probably felt.....	regigse	4	911	Jan 14, 2010 by regigse
	Making Sacrifices? (Preview) I know that no one can tell me what to do, but I want to run a situation by you and get some opinions. Last year we were supposed to go to Hawaii. We've been going every year for 10 years. We have a time-share there, so we don't every have to play for a place to stay. We bought 2 plane tickets and the 3rd one was p...	N8SMOM	13	885	Jan 13, 2010 by N8SMOM
	Thought for the day... (Preview) (((((Family)))), Life is too short not to dance around the house with our furry friends. So grab your pets, step away from the chaos and boogie down with them. You'll be surprised how much you smile. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the day. Much love and blessings to you and your families and of course, our pe...	Karilynn	3	2438	Jan 13, 2010 by Christy
	hubby taking small steps every day (Preview) hi all. i had a text last night from AH saying he missed me and the dog! BREAKTHROUGH #1. He never backs down. Up until now its always been me that has made the peace, done the chasing to make things better. I was shocked to say the least. It was quite late when he text so i naturally thought here we go.,.....	miss lucy	4	976	Jan 13, 2010 by miss lucy
	Does the 'Why' of it all, really matter? (Preview) I hope I'm not completely overstepping my posting boundaries here. Feel like I've been a posting demon the past week or so, but I guess this is my form of "sharing" outside of the rooms. For that I am SOOOO grateful for this board and for all of the wonderful members :) Last night, my exabf whom...	RunnerChick	8	981	Jan 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	Illusion of Control, Powerlessness & practicing STEP ONE (Preview) I am told to PRACTICE powerlessness. Practice Step one. How? In my mind I seem to resist this surrender. I feel if I do this than there is no way my exabf will want me back. Ibelieve that my struggling and fighting and trying to maintain some sort of control - somehow prevents pain? I am learning that power...	RunnerChick	17	2004	Jan 13, 2010 by Charlie
	morning rambling (Preview) My A still drank on the past two days, but unlike most days lately he didn't drink til he was drunk or passed out. He barely drank at all and was actually sober for most of the time. It was so nice having him ¨present¨ for a change. But it was so hard for me to admit my powerlessness. I kept thinking that becaus...	pineapple	3	634	Jan 13, 2010 by RLC
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.