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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> sometimes quickly sometime slowly.
Post Info TOPIC: sometimes quickly sometime slowly.
maresie


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sometimes quickly sometime slowly.
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I revisted this past week one of the places the ex A ended up when he was on his apparently long slow decline into surrender to his disease.  Being in denial I did not know at the time (2 plus years ago) that it was a skid row of sorts.  I also did not know that when I asked for money from his family to help him out he promptly spent it right back there on drugs.   My denial protected me on so many levels because I absolutely did not have the tools to know what to do, what to say or how to stop him. There was no stopping him of course because regardless of the bottom he smashed through it.

I know when I was with the ex A his journey downhill seemed incredibly slow and it seemed like he always dodged so many mishaps on a daily basis, driving drunk, stealing, being evicted, homeless and more.   Daily I wondered if this was the last one and somehow held myself responsbile for helping him when there was no helping someone on such a self destructive path.  There was only a way to get out of the way of him from pulling me under with him. 

For some people the journey is a long long one.  For others it seems like their process through alcoholism is fast, brief and just as heartbreaking.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/17/arts/music/17maerz.html?ref=arts

Personally I've found Corrine Bailey Rae's new songs a wonderful way to mediate my grief and sense of loss.  I don't believe I would "do it all again".  I do know I have limits these days and some of the limits include not having alcoholics in close proximity and more.  Nevertheless I am always aware of the tragedy of the disease both for those who have it and those around them who are pulled into it regardless. 

Maresie

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maresie
White Rabbit


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I felt a lot of emotion when I read this post. Alcoholism is really such a horrible disease, and can be such a tragedy for the alcoholic and everyone that loves the alcoholic. I'm so sorry for your loss, and so very glad you're here.

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* White Rabbit *

I can't fix my broken mind with my broken mind.
hotrod


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Maresie
I agree, the pain,sorrow and destruction of this disease of alcoholism is palbable .

  It  touches everyone  who cares about the person who is suffering.  I thank god for alanon and the meetings, literature and tools which enabled me to regain my sanity. 

I will keep showing up using these tools and praying for all who have been touched by this disease.  I know only too well that I can never say never when it comes to my interaction with this disease again!!!I just pray that when/if I do I will be able to use alanon tools with compassion. love and detachment.

Thanks so much for posting these thoughts

-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 17th of January 2010 09:20:12 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
nmike


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As you said, you didn't have the tools at the time. And then there is denial. I have some tools now. The veil of denial is slowly coming done.

In support,
Nancy

-- Edited by nmike on Sunday 17th of January 2010 10:04:25 PM

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Suzannah


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(((((((((((((((Maresie))))))))))))))

It seems you are a changing...and it is so good to see this.

You have come so far from the first posts of yours that I read a couple or three years ago.

And yet it too seems only like yesterday that Heartbroken first contacted this site and found you and so many others.

Thank you for sharing.

Love,
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.

Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
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