Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

speck31 · speck31

My A is an ex-AB - so he floats in and out of my life on a weekly basis. For the past week, he was back(in my life) after he lost his job and sold everything in his house to pay for an 8 day binge. I didn't know where he was or how he was and vacillated between trying to not care to obsessing about where/how he was...

QOD · QOD

So the texting wars have started today between me and my exAH/bf. I have been waiting for this......he owes me 3 months worth of child support and the child support agency put a note on my acct that they requested it be taken from his tax refund. So I have been waiting for that to hit. It hit today appare...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

So as I had predicted, with the warmer weather comes more drinking. Yes last night was the start of the drinking and driving routine. Which I am sure he is oblivious to. But I am not. I knew it was coming and sure enough. He had to stop on his way home from work for a "meeting" at a bar/restaurant....

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I think the reality is hitting my AH that I am leaving in May after I graduate. He's drinking more and more every night and spiralling down into deep depression. It is a very hard thing to watch, knowing I am powerless. But then again, knowing I am powerless is freeing too. I didn't cause this and I can't...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW... Been Working on some "inner" step 4 work here of late, and have realized something about MY Addictions... At times I have had often wondered exactly "What" my addictions are... I know that Alcohol & Drugs are of course an addiction but "other" things als...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Got news yesterday that a close family friend was critically injured in a 4 wheeler accident over the weekend. He is in ICU and in critical condition. Such a wonderful man, I have been praying for his recovery, If you have a moment would you send a prayer too?? Daughter and I are trying to keep our pos...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I neede...

rylzmama · rylzmama

Hello there . . .here for advice . . . my alcholic has been sober for 2 months now and is going through alot of different emotions . . .we are a young couple with a one year old daughter. . . i have been through hell with him disappearing for days at a time and using. . . trust is a huge issue we are trying to ge...

maresie · maresie

I've come to realize that what I thought were suggestions were actually things I used to "do" for other people. These days in the reign of let go and let god I do make suggestions and I leave it at that. That is suggestions in terms of what to take for a cold rather than what's wrong with their li...

MapleMom · MapleMom

So things have actually been good for a few days. Husband and I had a great heart to heart a few days ago and really felt a deep connection with each other. I did ask that if he has anything to drink to please not come home, and he said well what if I only have one, I just repeated myself. I do not want him he...

Karilynn · Karilynn

African Proverb (one of my favorites): "To be able to love other people, you must be able to love yourself." Sound familiar? Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I've been off the board for some time. But I have found and moved into my own apartment. I don't have Internet connection there, so am posting at work, but need some support. I woke up this morning with this intense feeling of sadness and emptiness. I felt sick to my stomach that he wasn't there. It felt li...

RockaBetty · RockaBetty

Hi. My husband and I had a long, tearful (drunken for him) talk last night where he said several things that scared me: He said he wanted to die in his sleep. He told me I should divorce him because he can't ever get sober. He told me that he has "secrets". He said that I have never seen him sober...

Gailey · Gailey

when I woke up this morning I had this thought come to my mind that I have been cheated in life. So, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and when I don't go to Alanon meetings I get into this negative self talk. Here is where it took me: I grew up with an A father and a depressed mother. I always felt out of t...

moonchild · moonchild

Today I had to do the hardest thing a mother should have to do. I had to turn my son (25yrs) out in the cold. No money, no job and no place to go.. I have cried all day and I just want to know if I have done the right thing. He has been a substance abuser for the past 5 yrs. I have bailed him out time and time again. He...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Just a share: So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front. Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit. I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in m...

maresie · maresie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfmx783oEs One way that I manage to get to some objectivity out of my enmeshment with the ex a (and many many A's in my film) is to watch films and read biographies about them. After many a year of raging and raging about the ex a's behavior I am now (at last) beginning t...

bob6502 · bob6502

Hola mis amigos I am currently attending college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor. These are some of the things I have learned. 1. We did an exercise in class where people stood in a circle and they were given a label on the inside on their sleeves, and a label on the outside on their back...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Any good Self-Esteem tools anyone?? Because of the effects of alcholism, many of us have lost our self-esteem (as I). As much as we know our self-worth, how can we get out of the gutter and into self comfort, humor, and self-love once more????

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I cannot control other people Life is not going to go how I "want" it to go it's going to go how it goes. I really don't WANT to fix everyone's problems My thoughts for the day :) My new good friend (ex AH's most recent new ex gf) is a Buddhist and we were having this great discussion about how there...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Hi I am new here and am still coming to terms with accepting the fact that I have no control over my husbands disease, I can not control what days he comes home drunk, I can not control whether or not our next family gathering is going to be a wine fest or not, so I guess I am slowly letting go(tough as nails t...

maresie · maresie

When I met the ex A event hough I was middle aged and had been in therapy for years, I was still in the mode of trying to find someone to make it up to me. I wanted the knight in shining armor, the person who would give me all the love I had missed when I was a child. Most of all I wanted a fall back. I wanted someo...

psynanny · psynanny

I have just discovered that my BF of 2 1/2 years has been lying to me (or keeping frome me) that he is staying in hotels by himself and drinking. He indicates that he is terribly unhappy and going through a really diffficult time. There is no doubt in my mind that he has a dependence or addiction to alcoho...

jandlsmom · jandlsmom

I have been married to my husband for 23 years and feel like I am on a rollercoaster every day of our marriage. I believe that his father was an alcoholic, so I think that has affected him. I was divorced from an alcoholic before I met my husband and I swore that I would never marry another alcoholic. Of cour...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I work hard each day to make sure that I am working my program, so my life seems a little more normal. I know it's not normal with the AH in it but I can't imagine my life without him. So I have just as many issues as he does. But I was given some great advice the other day, by a wonderful person, to do more than one...

hailiestar · hailiestar

Hello, Hailie here. Reporting for duty! Tonight I am going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I made sure to find a beginners meeting so I don't get too confused. I'm a little anxious about the entire thing, it is going to be held in a church and I am so far from religious it isn't even close. Now, what I'm i...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been trying different meetings in the hope I can give my recovery a little bit of a shake up. The meeting I attended last night had the topic caretaking. I have took care of others all my life. I do believe that one of my positive attributes is that I am a caring person who has empathy for others. H...

blender_girl · blender_girl

There was a great share in the meeting this morning about denial - the person who shared had an interesting perspective. She shared that she was in denial that her HP wants to be with her, wants to love her and wants to be there for her. Up until this point, I had always associated denial with negative situ...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Here's what I've been doing - what about you? I took it easy when I was tired. Keep It Simple and Easy Does It at its best. I acknowledged my feelings without beating myself up for feeling them. I went to the chat room when I was feeling out of sorts and safely vented my feelings, received the support and va...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Apparently my offer of giving away free copies of the "Getting Them Sober" volume one, by Toby Rice Drews, has raised the ire of the MIP business group, and they have removed my offer from the board. While this group may, indeed, have the "power" to take such action, could I ple...

MapleMom · MapleMom

Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been to a couple of Al anon meetings, but find that its hard to get to any meeting, because of my kids and other commitments. I have come to realize that I can not go through this alone anymore. I need support. I have just come to terms with the fact that I can not change my h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

OK! Looks like all the paperwork is in so I will not loose my job and will get some money flowing. The world did not end, I did not shread anyone, feel no embarassment and even got the direct phone numbers to the people who can move this along in the future. So there was a reward for keeping my cool. I did not...

maresie · maresie

first of all I grew up without a self protective mechanism in me. My parents did not protect me (and yes I know they were very ill). I never got to internalize boundaries (there were none in my family) or an ability to protect myself. Much of this comes from not being able to really accept and absorb tha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Even in the midst of the health uncertainty, things have been going well for me. I am slowly finding my way in the insanity of alchoholism and am seeing the serenity at the end of the tunnel. I'm working my program the best that I can, though I know I could do more/better (the perfectionist in me), I am ha...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Well for the first time in a long time I am a single woman. The judge granted the divorce today. A friend from work came with me. She asked me weeks ago and I told her that I thought I would be okay on my own. She would have to take time off from work in order to support me. lol once again I do the "I...

Twiddle · Twiddle

Hello - I've been searching for answers and I'm hoping someone can shed some light for me. Let me explain my situation. Sorry in advance if I might ramble on. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and he quit drinking 7 months ago and joined AA. He was a horrible man to me when he was drinking (e...

mslouise · mslouise

Good morning...I haven't posted in a very long time...my ex-A is a distant part of my life (or I'm trying him to be)....made it clear to please leave me alone, don't call, etc....he is back into drugs now, hanging with bad people.....which is sad, but that's his deal. the thing is, is he does keep calli...

Holly09 · Holly09

To make a very long story short my A boyfriend who over the past 8 years has cut his drinking down to almost a quarter of what he drank when I met him, I think is now popping percocet instead of drinking. I have found them before in his shed and have noticed the difference in his eyes when he takes them. His b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have two sisters & one step-sister & one sister-in-law! They are all lovely ladies. They are mostly supportive & very loving for the most part. First, I will start with my older sister who I am trying to reach out to starting today. I have made attempts to call her but havent' been too suc...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Is a feeling that things in my life are temporary a part of the disease that will go away if I work the program? I notice that sometimes I really feel like some things are temporary (for example, sometimes I feel like where I live is just a temporary situation, not really a home), and I'm not sure if it's pa...

lmw · lmw

Last week, my ex-A promised our older daughter he would attend a religious service with the family this evening. This afternoon, he claimed he thought the service was on Friday and he will just take her (not the others) on Friday night. I have to be there this evening with the other two, and therefor...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

At work today I received a phone call from next door neighbour. A friend of AH had been hammering on our front door unable to get an answer - even though he was expected to call for a coffee. Another neighbour was also joining in banging on door and ringing house phone as well. They were worried (having bee...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Oh my goodness I have had a day. Went to the jail to visit son went ok however don't think I will put it on my priority list soon. Then I can home and found out that there has been a qlitch with getting med records to the insurance company. Actually this has been going on for about 3 weeks. I want to have a s...

anon8483 · anon8483

I'm trying to make this as anonymous as possible... I know a woman that I'm very close to. She has a very stressful day-to-day life as a stay-at-home mom, because she has many children. She is a recovering alcoholic, and she finished a rehab program late last year. She has been sober since, but I caught h...

Jozie · Jozie

Funny How.... The Seasons tend to change some people, Me being one of them... I know with each day, moment & year there is change, but I mean for me, it seems different in my mind... It is like a Test... Currantly I believe at times I'm failing, but thats ok... I'm slowly starting to see & at least b...

mgr · mgr

I have a grown divorced daughter with 4 girls who moved in with us in August 2009 and who is fighting an addiction to tramadol. She seems to be winning the battle. She met her current boyfriend in detox (cocaine). It seems her newest addiction is him. We have never met him and have no intention of mee...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

Today was a very sad day for me. I cooked and took a dish over to a woman who had just lost her husband of over 50 years. I have known this couple since I was a kid and have often marveled at how they had the strength to do the things they did. They married young and had children young, as was the culture in the r...

oscarmom · oscarmom

I am new to the board. for many years my husband has been an alcoholic. I tried everything, as we all have at some point. he got a dui a few years ago, that scared him and he stopped for a while. but of course it doesn't last. so I keep attending al anon meetings for myself. recently he has been drinking more an...

concerned · concerned

I am new here.. My husband is disabled and has had multiple back problems.. He cannot work a steady job. He has several friends who are retired that he hangs out with. He is younger than them, he is 35 they are in 50's... Well they sit around all day and drink.. he has to take meds for his back so the alcohol an...

QOD · QOD

Ok I realize that this is off the subject of Aism....but..... I was wondering if anyone out there has used any of those credit card debt consolidation companies. You can private message me if you want. I have been contemplating them for a while to help me with the credit card debt I have gotten myself...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I think I am finally getting to the point where I can say I am ok by myself. I really don't have time for a man and maybe I have made it this way on purpose because I know it's what I really need. My biggest focus right now is dealing with the situation with my oldest daughter and the daily chaos she creates. ...

maresie · maresie

I know one of the things that kept me stuck on the ex A was his intriguing. Nothing he said made sense, he was full of what he was going to do and how I held him back from doing it. Whatever he wanted to do was unattainable in some way. He was also full of inconsistencies. I am all too aware of this as I now work w...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I've posted here a few times and my posts have run from "why am I dealing with this" to "I have found the serenity". I come here almost every day and read all the ESH from everyone and I feel so blessed to have somewhere to turn to now, nothing feels helpless to me anymore. being her...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Whelp tomorrow is my final court date for the divorce to be final. In some ways the time has flwon by and in other ways it has dragged. I had court this morning becasue my hub did not take the state mandatory parenting class. The divorce would not have been granted without both of us taking this clas...

QOD · QOD

I am struggling a lot lately with my exAH/boyfriend. We have been back together (dating but not living together) since Oct 2008 after a 15 year marriage & 2 year separation/divorce. Crazy I know but it seems to work for the most part. I refuse to let him move back in b/c he still has issues with dep...

xter · xter

i've been inactive for a long time. probably since the 2nd week of August, 09. My AH and I broke up for good on August 6th. just like that, yeah. i remember that morning. we were in our marriage counselor's office and i said, "i'm still really angry with you that you won't admit to cheating on me...

xter · xter

ok - it's another day that i have to be awake and a productive and sane member of society. i really wish i didn't have to be - i'm tired of pretending to be sane :) i'm going to try to be kind to myself today. perhaps the most important thing i can do is to leave the office at 6:30 instead of 8 or 9 like i usually d...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF rang and told me that he has not drank but did do cocain and thats why he never came down. I am s angrey he can not drink he accepts that but still smoke pot on ocassion and now this. I know its not personal just his road of recovery he has these slips and does seem to learn from each one but its like he has...

Destynee · Destynee

AH is detoxing from drugs at home. Our health insurance does not cover any drug or alcohol coverage whatsoever and the county has a long line for help and denied him. So he's been laying in bed for 3 days mostly. But I'm proud of myself for not being led into arguements when he's tried by saying, "Wh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and a pussycat came ashore!! We got the drama but not the whole show and while the TV and News people were hyperventilating over what might happen they didn't mention what did happen. Thanks for the prayers you all turning back a tital wave or tsunami is big work for HP. All we had to do was ask. Keep...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Frustration with others...and learning to let go. (Preview) My A is an ex-AB - so he floats in and out of my life on a weekly basis. For the past week, he was back(in my life) after he lost his job and sold everything in his house to pay for an 8 day binge. I didn't know where he was or how he was and vacillated between trying to not care to obsessing about where/how he was...	speck31	5	1677	Mar 12, 2010 by Saved By Grace
	Oh the Texting Wars!!! (Preview) So the texting wars have started today between me and my exAH/bf. I have been waiting for this......he owes me 3 months worth of child support and the child support agency put a note on my acct that they requested it be taken from his tax refund. So I have been waiting for that to hit. It hit today appare...	QOD	12	1019	Mar 12, 2010 by blender_girl
	I was right about the weather, he went out drinking... (Preview) So as I had predicted, with the warmer weather comes more drinking. Yes last night was the start of the drinking and driving routine. Which I am sure he is oblivious to. But I am not. I knew it was coming and sure enough. He had to stop on his way home from work for a "meeting" at a bar/restaurant....	wildthang86	5	790	Mar 12, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Watching the Cycle of Depression (Preview) So I think the reality is hitting my AH that I am leaving in May after I graduate. He's drinking more and more every night and spiralling down into deep depression. It is a very hard thing to watch, knowing I am powerless. But then again, knowing I am powerless is freeing too. I didn't cause this and I can't...	intothewoods	7	2237	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	My "Not so" Addictive....Addictions.... (Preview) WOW... Been Working on some "inner" step 4 work here of late, and have realized something about MY Addictions... At times I have had often wondered exactly "What" my addictions are... I know that Alcohol & Drugs are of course an addiction but "other" things als...	Jozie	8	793	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	Could you take a moment with HP for us? (Preview) Got news yesterday that a close family friend was critically injured in a 4 wheeler accident over the weekend. He is in ICU and in critical condition. Such a wonderful man, I have been praying for his recovery, If you have a moment would you send a prayer too?? Daughter and I are trying to keep our pos...	fishinmama	5	621	Mar 12, 2010 by John
	Backslid a bit but keeping it positive... (Preview) So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I neede...	lizzakiss	3	885	Mar 11, 2010 by Jerry F
	AH IN RECOVERY . . . (Preview) Hello there . . .here for advice . . . my alcholic has been sober for 2 months now and is going through alot of different emotions . . .we are a young couple with a one year old daughter. . . i have been through hell with him disappearing for days at a time and using. . . trust is a huge issue we are trying to ge...	rylzmama	6	1166	Mar 11, 2010 by geraldatwork
	Suggesting rather than overdoing. (Preview) I've come to realize that what I thought were suggestions were actually things I used to "do" for other people. These days in the reign of let go and let god I do make suggestions and I leave it at that. That is suggestions in terms of what to take for a cold rather than what's wrong with their li...	maresie	2	762	Mar 11, 2010 by nmike
	Biting my tounge (Preview) So things have actually been good for a few days. Husband and I had a great heart to heart a few days ago and really felt a deep connection with each other. I did ask that if he has anything to drink to please not come home, and he said well what if I only have one, I just repeated myself. I do not want him he...	MapleMom	10	945	Mar 10, 2010 by Suzi1965
	African Proverb (Preview) African Proverb (one of my favorites): "To be able to love other people, you must be able to love yourself." Sound familiar? Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	2	668	Mar 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finally in my new apartment (Preview) I've been off the board for some time. But I have found and moved into my own apartment. I don't have Internet connection there, so am posting at work, but need some support. I woke up this morning with this intense feeling of sadness and emptiness. I felt sick to my stomach that he wasn't there. It felt li...	RunnerChick	12	873	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	Newbie: How do I get started? (Preview) Hi. My husband and I had a long, tearful (drunken for him) talk last night where he said several things that scared me: He said he wanted to die in his sleep. He told me I should divorce him because he can't ever get sober. He told me that he has "secrets". He said that I have never seen him sober...	RockaBetty	11	812	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	feeling cheated (Preview) when I woke up this morning I had this thought come to my mind that I have been cheated in life. So, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and when I don't go to Alanon meetings I get into this negative self talk. Here is where it took me: I grew up with an A father and a depressed mother. I always felt out of t...	Gailey	12	838	Mar 10, 2010 by Karilynn
	Help me please! (Preview) Today I had to do the hardest thing a mother should have to do. I had to turn my son (25yrs) out in the cold. No money, no job and no place to go.. I have cried all day and I just want to know if I have done the right thing. He has been a substance abuser for the past 5 yrs. I have bailed him out time and time again. He...	moonchild	20	905	Mar 10, 2010 by moonchild
	Reminders in Unexpected Places (Preview) Just a share: So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front. Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit. I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in m...	intothewoods	3	679	Mar 10, 2010 by intothewoods
	sense of perspective. (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfmx783oEs One way that I manage to get to some objectivity out of my enmeshment with the ex a (and many many A's in my film) is to watch films and read biographies about them. After many a year of raging and raging about the ex a's behavior I am now (at last) beginning t...	maresie	7	1600	Mar 9, 2010 by tlcate
	Judgment (Preview) Hola mis amigos I am currently attending college to become a certified alcohol and drug counselor. These are some of the things I have learned. 1. We did an exercise in class where people stood in a circle and they were given a label on the inside on their sleeves, and a label on the outside on their back...	bob6502	10	984	Mar 9, 2010 by tlcate
	Self-esteem tips anyone? (Preview) Any good Self-Esteem tools anyone?? Because of the effects of alcholism, many of us have lost our self-esteem (as I). As much as we know our self-worth, how can we get out of the gutter and into self comfort, humor, and self-love once more????	RoseODAT	8	869	Mar 9, 2010 by Rita G
	Things for me to remember... (Preview) I cannot control other people Life is not going to go how I "want" it to go it's going to go how it goes. I really don't WANT to fix everyone's problems My thoughts for the day :) My new good friend (ex AH's most recent new ex gf) is a Buddhist and we were having this great discussion about how there...	carolinagirl	7	890	Mar 9, 2010 by maresie
	Slowly letting go (Preview) Hi I am new here and am still coming to terms with accepting the fact that I have no control over my husbands disease, I can not control what days he comes home drunk, I can not control whether or not our next family gathering is going to be a wine fest or not, so I guess I am slowly letting go(tough as nails t...	MapleMom	4	1205	Mar 9, 2010 by Iamhere
	symbolic versus reality. (Preview) When I met the ex A event hough I was middle aged and had been in therapy for years, I was still in the mode of trying to find someone to make it up to me. I wanted the knight in shining armor, the person who would give me all the love I had missed when I was a child. Most of all I wanted a fall back. I wanted someo...	maresie	7	1152	Mar 8, 2010 by speck31
	Cheating or addiction? (Preview) I have just discovered that my BF of 2 1/2 years has been lying to me (or keeping frome me) that he is staying in hotels by himself and drinking. He indicates that he is terribly unhappy and going through a really diffficult time. There is no doubt in my mind that he has a dependence or addiction to alcoho...	psynanny	7	1034	Mar 8, 2010 by maresie
	Question about attending a meeting (Preview) I have been married to my husband for 23 years and feel like I am on a rollercoaster every day of our marriage. I believe that his father was an alcoholic, so I think that has affected him. I was divorced from an alcoholic before I met my husband and I swore that I would never marry another alcoholic. Of cour...	jandlsmom	11	756	Mar 8, 2010 by jandlsmom
	I work hard each day to work my program!!!! (Preview) I work hard each day to make sure that I am working my program, so my life seems a little more normal. I know it's not normal with the AH in it but I can't imagine my life without him. So I have just as many issues as he does. But I was given some great advice the other day, by a wonderful person, to do more than one...	wildthang86	3	889	Mar 8, 2010 by hotrod
	First Meeting Tonight. (Preview) Hello, Hailie here. Reporting for duty! Tonight I am going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I made sure to find a beginners meeting so I don't get too confused. I'm a little anxious about the entire thing, it is going to be held in a church and I am so far from religious it isn't even close. Now, what I'm i...	hailiestar	8	878	Mar 8, 2010 by shell87
	caretaking/controlling (Preview) I have been trying different meetings in the hope I can give my recovery a little bit of a shake up. The meeting I attended last night had the topic caretaking. I have took care of others all my life. I do believe that one of my positive attributes is that I am a caring person who has empathy for others. H...	Tracy	6	2023	Mar 7, 2010 by ythannah
	Perspective on Denial (Preview) There was a great share in the meeting this morning about denial - the person who shared had an interesting perspective. She shared that she was in denial that her HP wants to be with her, wants to love her and wants to be there for her. Up until this point, I had always associated denial with negative situ...	blender_girl	3	650	Mar 7, 2010 by miss lucy
	How have I practiced self-care this week? (Preview) Here's what I've been doing - what about you? I took it easy when I was tired. Keep It Simple and Easy Does It at its best. I acknowledged my feelings without beating myself up for feeling them. I went to the chat room when I was feeling out of sorts and safely vented my feelings, received the support and va...	blender_girl	3	556	Mar 7, 2010 by miss lucy
	What happened to the free book offer?? (Preview) Apparently my offer of giving away free copies of the "Getting Them Sober" volume one, by Toby Rice Drews, has raised the ire of the MIP business group, and they have removed my offer from the board. While this group may, indeed, have the "power" to take such action, could I ple...	canadianguy	11	1438	Mar 7, 2010 by Diva
	New here (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been to a couple of Al anon meetings, but find that its hard to get to any meeting, because of my kids and other commitments. I have come to realize that I can not go through this alone anymore. I need support. I have just come to terms with the fact that I can not change my h...	MapleMom	7	660	Mar 7, 2010 by MapleMom
	Lots of wonderful things can happen, usually after I think the sky is falling (Preview) OK! Looks like all the paperwork is in so I will not loose my job and will get some money flowing. The world did not end, I did not shread anyone, feel no embarassment and even got the direct phone numbers to the people who can move this along in the future. So there was a reward for keeping my cool. I did not...	fishinmama	3	793	Mar 6, 2010 by Jerry F
	centering or having a self protective mechanism. (Preview) first of all I grew up without a self protective mechanism in me. My parents did not protect me (and yes I know they were very ill). I never got to internalize boundaries (there were none in my family) or an ability to protect myself. Much of this comes from not being able to really accept and absorb tha...	maresie	3	747	Mar 6, 2010 by kitty
	Dealing wit Fears and Anxiety.........Any ESH appreciated.... (Preview) Even in the midst of the health uncertainty, things have been going well for me. I am slowly finding my way in the insanity of alchoholism and am seeing the serenity at the end of the tunnel. I'm working my program the best that I can, though I know I could do more/better (the perfectionist in me), I am ha...	shellyj123	8	729	Mar 5, 2010 by jpmger
	Divorce (Preview) Hi family, Well for the first time in a long time I am a single woman. The judge granted the divorce today. A friend from work came with me. She asked me weeks ago and I told her that I thought I would be okay on my own. She would have to take time off from work in order to support me. lol once again I do the "I...	Mandy123	9	1018	Mar 5, 2010 by barisax
	Confused please lend me your insight (Preview) Hello - I've been searching for answers and I'm hoping someone can shed some light for me. Let me explain my situation. Sorry in advance if I might ramble on. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and he quit drinking 7 months ago and joined AA. He was a horrible man to me when he was drinking (e...	Twiddle	8	1048	Mar 5, 2010 by Iamhere
	phone calls (Preview) Good morning...I haven't posted in a very long time...my ex-A is a distant part of my life (or I'm trying him to be)....made it clear to please leave me alone, don't call, etc....he is back into drugs now, hanging with bad people.....which is sad, but that's his deal. the thing is, is he does keep calli...	mslouise	6	734	Mar 5, 2010 by Iamhere
	from one substance to another (Preview) To make a very long story short my A boyfriend who over the past 8 years has cut his drinking down to almost a quarter of what he drank when I met him, I think is now popping percocet instead of drinking. I have found them before in his shed and have noticed the difference in his eyes when he takes them. His b...	Holly09	3	756	Mar 5, 2010 by kitty
	Sisters & what they mean to me! (Preview) I have two sisters & one step-sister & one sister-in-law! They are all lovely ladies. They are mostly supportive & very loving for the most part. First, I will start with my older sister who I am trying to reach out to starting today. I have made attempts to call her but havent' been too suc...	Hoot Nanny	2	920	Mar 4, 2010 by Rocky38
	Feeling that things are temporary (Preview) Is a feeling that things in my life are temporary a part of the disease that will go away if I work the program? I notice that sometimes I really feel like some things are temporary (for example, sometimes I feel like where I live is just a temporary situation, not really a home), and I'm not sure if it's pa...	White Rabbit	3	930	Mar 4, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Selfishness and an A (Preview) Last week, my ex-A promised our older daughter he would attend a religious service with the family this evening. This afternoon, he claimed he thought the service was on Friday and he will just take her (not the others) on Friday night. I have to be there this evening with the other two, and therefor...	lmw	5	916	Mar 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	Still at a loss as to what to do (Preview) At work today I received a phone call from next door neighbour. A friend of AH had been hammering on our front door unable to get an answer - even though he was expected to call for a coffee. Another neighbour was also joining in banging on door and ringing house phone as well. They were worried (having bee...	Tattyhead	6	1220	Mar 4, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	I guess you would call it frustration (Preview) Oh my goodness I have had a day. Went to the jail to visit son went ok however don't think I will put it on my priority list soon. Then I can home and found out that there has been a qlitch with getting med records to the insurance company. Actually this has been going on for about 3 weeks. I want to have a s...	fishinmama	3	936	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	Please Help Me (Preview) I'm trying to make this as anonymous as possible... I know a woman that I'm very close to. She has a very stressful day-to-day life as a stay-at-home mom, because she has many children. She is a recovering alcoholic, and she finished a rehab program late last year. She has been sober since, but I caught h...	anon8483	4	906	Mar 3, 2010 by Jerry F
	4ward then Back... 4ward then Back... 4ward again ;) (Preview) Funny How.... The Seasons tend to change some people, Me being one of them... I know with each day, moment & year there is change, but I mean for me, it seems different in my mind... It is like a Test... Currantly I believe at times I'm failing, but thats ok... I'm slowly starting to see & at least b...	Jozie	2	894	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	grown daughter has addiction living with us (Preview) I have a grown divorced daughter with 4 girls who moved in with us in August 2009 and who is fighting an addiction to tramadol. She seems to be winning the battle. She met her current boyfriend in detox (cocaine). It seems her newest addiction is him. We have never met him and have no intention of mee...	mgr	2	882	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	Need Prayers Saturday (Preview) Today was a very sad day for me. I cooked and took a dish over to a woman who had just lost her husband of over 50 years. I have known this couple since I was a kid and have often marveled at how they had the strength to do the things they did. They married young and had children young, as was the culture in the r...	MaryPoppins	6	929	Mar 3, 2010 by pineapple
	husband finally entered treatment (Preview) I am new to the board. for many years my husband has been an alcoholic. I tried everything, as we all have at some point. he got a dui a few years ago, that scared him and he stopped for a while. but of course it doesn't last. so I keep attending al anon meetings for myself. recently he has been drinking more an...	oscarmom	7	971	Mar 3, 2010 by ythannah
	Worried wife (Preview) I am new here.. My husband is disabled and has had multiple back problems.. He cannot work a steady job. He has several friends who are retired that he hangs out with. He is younger than them, he is 35 they are in 50's... Well they sit around all day and drink.. he has to take meds for his back so the alcohol an...	concerned	3	687	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	Credit Card Debt Consolidation (Preview) Ok I realize that this is off the subject of Aism....but..... I was wondering if anyone out there has used any of those credit card debt consolidation companies. You can private message me if you want. I have been contemplating them for a while to help me with the credit card debt I have gotten myself...	QOD	7	946	Mar 3, 2010 by QOD
	Feeling pretty good about life lately (Preview) I think I am finally getting to the point where I can say I am ok by myself. I really don't have time for a man and maybe I have made it this way on purpose because I know it's what I really need. My biggest focus right now is dealing with the situation with my oldest daughter and the daily chaos she creates. ...	carolinagirl	2	865	Mar 3, 2010 by pineapple
	Intriguing (Preview) I know one of the things that kept me stuck on the ex A was his intriguing. Nothing he said made sense, he was full of what he was going to do and how I held him back from doing it. Whatever he wanted to do was unattainable in some way. He was also full of inconsistencies. I am all too aware of this as I now work w...	maresie	12	942	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	Feeding the positive (Preview) I've posted here a few times and my posts have run from "why am I dealing with this" to "I have found the serenity". I come here almost every day and read all the ESH from everyone and I feel so blessed to have somewhere to turn to now, nothing feels helpless to me anymore. being her...	lizzakiss	6	1097	Mar 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	"D" day is fast approaching (Preview) Hi all, Whelp tomorrow is my final court date for the divorce to be final. In some ways the time has flwon by and in other ways it has dragged. I had court this morning becasue my hub did not take the state mandatory parenting class. The divorce would not have been granted without both of us taking this clas...	Mandy123	8	1030	Mar 2, 2010 by tea2
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) I am struggling a lot lately with my exAH/boyfriend. We have been back together (dating but not living together) since Oct 2008 after a 15 year marriage & 2 year separation/divorce. Crazy I know but it seems to work for the most part. I refuse to let him move back in b/c he still has issues with dep...	QOD	11	1111	Mar 2, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Now what? (Preview) i've been inactive for a long time. probably since the 2nd week of August, 09. My AH and I broke up for good on August 6th. just like that, yeah. i remember that morning. we were in our marriage counselor's office and i said, "i'm still really angry with you that you won't admit to cheating on me...	xter	7	824	Mar 2, 2010 by blender_girl
	one minute at a time (Preview) ok - it's another day that i have to be awake and a productive and sane member of society. i really wish i didn't have to be - i'm tired of pretending to be sane :) i'm going to try to be kind to myself today. perhaps the most important thing i can do is to leave the office at 6:30 instead of 8 or 9 like i usually d...	xter	6	768	Mar 2, 2010 by maresie
	slipping so angrey (Preview) My ABF rang and told me that he has not drank but did do cocain and thats why he never came down. I am s angrey he can not drink he accepts that but still smoke pot on ocassion and now this. I know its not personal just his road of recovery he has these slips and does seem to learn from each one but its like he has...	Tracy	4	953	Mar 2, 2010 by Karilynn
	Feeling a bit better about myself (Preview) AH is detoxing from drugs at home. Our health insurance does not cover any drug or alcohol coverage whatsoever and the county has a long line for help and denied him. So he's been laying in bed for 3 days mostly. But I'm proud of myself for not being led into arguements when he's tried by saying, "Wh...	Destynee	7	1175	Mar 1, 2010 by maresie
	The prayers worked!! (Preview) and a pussycat came ashore!! We got the drama but not the whole show and while the TV and News people were hyperventilating over what might happen they didn't mention what did happen. Thanks for the prayers you all turning back a tital wave or tsunami is big work for HP. All we had to do was ask. Keep...	Jerry F	7	1071	Mar 1, 2010 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.