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new member
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here and I wasn't sure how this works, but oh well. I'm deployed right now and I was informed that my husband has been AWOL and essentially missing for more than a month. He was supposed to be going to ASAP (army substance abuse program) for alcohol abuse. Even though I told his unit that he was o...
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siorghra
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5
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789
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How do I feel?
(Preview)
My ex husband has an addiction that has progressed to a level that he has deserted my children. I am so tired I work ful time. Have the house to run, no help fincually , the chores, rearing two teenager. I do not know what I feel. Thanks to Al anon I know that he is ill and it is not personal. But this does n...
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Tracy
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2
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903
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New member, this is my story
(Preview)
My relationship with my father is ruining the rest of the relationships in my life. My father has been an alcoholic all of my life. By the time I was 19, I had come to terms with this fact, and told myself that, to have any sort of relationship with this man, I cannot trust him. He's the person I would go to wh...
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Alyana
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12
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1078
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Sort of spinning
(Preview)
I haven't commented on very many peoples posts yet because I don't think I have much to offer at this point...but again - I am very thankful to read all that you all share on here! I feel like I have gotten worse in the past couple of days. I was doing so well - staying away from him. But his ex-wife let me kno...
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speck31
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9
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858
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I know I need to detach but I need to vent...
(Preview)
I am feeling really confused about alcoholism today. I know I need to detach and work on myself. I have been working really hard on this, but today I need to vent. My A BF left me 3 months ago for another woman who is an alcoholic. He is further down the rabbit hole then he has ever been now that he is with her a...
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jasobel
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5
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908
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not knowing anything. waiting. its hard.
(Preview)
i am a recovering alcoholic myself. my husband I think is starting to have a drink problem. We used to drink together about 10 years ago he managed to cut down and i couldnt cut down, i had to stop and go to aa. his drinking has always been ok, heavey sometimes but he can take it or leave it, seemingly. recent...
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Slugcat
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6
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836
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A tribute to my niece Debbie who was killed five days after her cousin's (my son) almost fatal accident.
(Preview)
February 22, 2010 Before you read my nephew's letter to the judge.........One cousin died that week, once cousin lived. Two automobile accidents, two very different results. One shattered family......ours. Goodbye dear Debbie. I hope that justice is served for our beloved daughter, sister, n...
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doxie
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9
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3737
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help
(Preview)
hi i am all new to this, i have been with my partner for 6 years and he is addicted to alcahol, he is 28 and has been drinking since he was very young, i got with him not knowing he was an addict. he told me about 3 year ago, i was shocked but i knew something wasnt right, i couldnt leave him as i thought everything...
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melsim
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2
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738
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Charlie Sheen and Hazelden
(Preview)
William Moyers was on GMA this morning. He is a higher up at Hazelden. He was speaking about Charlie Sheen going back into rehab. He identified himself as a recovering A of 16 years. His message was good, on target. But it made me wonder about attraction rather than promotion. From Hazelden, the leadi...
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freeagain
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16
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5270
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What does "taking it slow" look like?
(Preview)
Ok so this may seem silly - well probably not to all of you but maybe the rest of the rational world. I have always been one to jump right into relationships. It's either all or nothing. It's on or it's off. It's hot or it's cold. We are living together from almost the day we meet and are inseperable. S...
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carolinagirl
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8
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862
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I have some simple questions as a new person-can you help?
(Preview)
I can't get to a f2f meeting. A/DH took our car and I have no one to babysit my kids anyway and one is sick. This is new to me. He came home last night for the first time in 4 days and was high on crack/herion what have you. He was so angry and blamed me for all this. Was awful. Was a bit threatening. I staye...
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Destynee
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5
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997
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Boundaries and saying NO
(Preview)
Settling and maintaining boundaries is what I think I need to focus on right now. I've gotten tons better at thinking about where I want the boundary to go and wanting it to exist. That's progress for me, believe it or not. When I got here, I didn't realize how much I allowed people to step all over me or...
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White Rabbit
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5
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1327
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A great companion book
(Preview)
I was reading Canadian Guy's post about loving yourself from the CODA board, and it made me think of a book I've been reading lately called "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It's not CAL, but I've really found for me that I picked up this book at exactl...
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Aloha
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1
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903
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Its been a while since I've been here and I'm so lost and feeling guilty
(Preview)
It's been a while since I've been here. My husband was an active A. In March 2008, he went to rehab and got sober. March 7th of this year would have been 2 years. 3 weeks ago he started drinking. He hooked up with an old friend and started using drugs. He admitted to cocaine and crack. I got laid off in A...
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Destynee
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12
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718
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Better Off Dead Or In Jail?
(Preview)
I have read a lot here and posted a little, mostly learning, gaining hope and inspiration. My AH of 18 years is typical in many ways, not so in others. He has a good job and makes good money, although we are in bankruptcy because of repeated arrests for DUI and public drunk, disturbing the peace, etc. H...
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essgee1952
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4
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1035
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10 Steps to Loving Yourself...
(Preview)
Hi all... I found this list on the CODA website, along with dozens of affirmations.... This list seems to be a good tool for practicing that "self-love" that has been talked about a lot on the board in recent days. (printed with permission from CODA website www.onlinecoda.net ) Take care...
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canadianguy
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10
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2368
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Need op to chair Feb 25th Meeting 9pm
(Preview)
Hi I need an op to chair the Thrusday meeting Feb 25th. 2010. I have my childrens concert at thier school tommorow night and wont be able to chair. It is a step tradition meeting however you can skip that and just do a regular meeting i will pick up the traditions next week. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)
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kerry5
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0
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345
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Stress levels
(Preview)
One of my neighbors ended up being hosptialized this last weekend. She has a girlfriend who basically stole all her medication and she just lost it over time as she could not get anymore medication for herself. She is still in the hospital at this point. I really believe I was certainly in the same pla...
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maresie
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6
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862
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Being lonely
(Preview)
Since I left the ex A the only men I have met have (a) active addictions (b) no boundaries and (c) both issues. There are many days when I can buckle up and say that I dont' mind being alone. Really I have not known what it is like to have an active partnership that is someone who helps out rather than deman...
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maresie
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7
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884
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Feedback Please
(Preview)
I called the A tonight to see how he was doing. Was feeling bad about a friendship that had fallen apart. I was deceptive and hinted that it was a male friend- it wasn't. Anyway, the A ends up telling me that his mom visited this weekend in Florida and that he thinks she is bothered by the fact that he drin...
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Codependent
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11
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1012
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Grammie's Birthday
(Preview)
A day late and a dollar short . . . but in Alanon I learned it's never too late So . . . . A BIG SPECIAL HAPPY to Grammie yesterday. I love attending meetings with you, your ESH is so full of experience, strength and hope. I hope your birthday was the best! Maria
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Maria123
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14
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1369
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A little hope
(Preview)
I talked to my ex MIL on the phone last night and she has said she is finally done rescuing the A. She has been there to bail him out every time for YEARS and I have been saying over and over that she is not helping him. She is in AA herself and said yesterday that all of her AA friends said she is not helping him...
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carolinagirl
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3
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749
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The empty place
(Preview)
Hi MIP family,
I guess it has been just 5 short weeks since my AH passed away, although it seems so much longer than that. In that time, my family and I have been able to say goodbye, both here in the USA and my home country. I returned from my home country last week and have become very aware of an empty plac...
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Rocky38
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11
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829
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I'm new and frustrated.
(Preview)
Hello, my name is Hailie and I am currently in a four year relationship with an alcoholic. I've been thinking of attending the meetings, I feel quite alone. His addiction is beginning to affect me and I'm frightened, unsure of what to do next.
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hailiestar
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8
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960
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Going to my first meeting tonight...
(Preview)
I have been reading all of your posts for the past two weeks - I can't even tell you what a blessing it has been to read all of your stories and know that I am not alone! My exAbf broke up with me two weeks ago - out of the blue. He and I have dated off and on for a year...He had been clean this time for a little over...
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speck31
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7
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1020
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Lessons all over the place, Patience, expectations, gratitude WOW!
(Preview)
Good morning alanon family, fishinmama here. I have figured out I have an expectation problem. So much has happened in the last couple of weeks, geez months, for the first time I think I see a bit of the lesson here. Daughter went to court this last week, her dad took her. She got some pretty stiff fine...
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fishinmama
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5
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873
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Packing and Sad
(Preview)
First I want to thank everyone who responded to my earlier post a few days ago. I am so very, very grateful for this forum and for those who encourage me to "get back on the horse" and welcome me back into the recovery community with open arms. I feel far from my program. I recently sought help fo...
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RunnerChick
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8
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862
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I'm ready to make a change but I'm scarred of loosing everything!
(Preview)
I just found this forum and I know it was a blessing that I did. I grew up with an alcoholic mom and I have been with and I am married to a mean alcoholic for 12 years now. We have a 12 year old son and I'm really seeing the horrible effects that it has on him. He is a good kid but I see his frusteration/anger when it...
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HOPE79
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10
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954
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Ghosts of behaviors past
(Preview)
Hello all, It has been so very, very long since I have posted. As we all are doing, I have been working so hard on my recovery, and can honestly say, I finally feel like I am in a pretty good place. I can remember the woman who used to waste all her time, watching, waiting, seeking out the lies, the deceit,...
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liljeannie
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5
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885
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Another Sponsor Question
(Preview)
I've been in Al-Anon for almost a year now and still don't have a sponsor. I know I need one to successfully work the program and to make much-needed changes in my life. I've got 3 people that I would like to ask, but I'm not sure which one would be best. I've been praying about it and asking God to help me...
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N8SMOM
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6
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843
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AM I ENABLING IF I......
(Preview)
In my earlier post I said my 26. yr old son is on a 72 hour hold for depression and suicide. He is going to be released Monday morning and has no where to go! In order for him to go to rehab he needs to find a place with an available bed. He said he called a few places and he is on a waiting list, he didn't say how l...
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roxygirl
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6
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894
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Taking things personally.
(Preview)
I had a phone interview on Friday that the interviewer didn't show up for. Getting the time off for that interview was like standing on my head and the company never seem to be able to make it at a time that is convenient for me. That sent me into a tailspin of "poor me's" suddenly I was fed up if...
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maresie
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3
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1072
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list me some options please!
(Preview)
Hi- I need to know if anyone knows some options I have... Afiance-4 dwi's, on probation, no license and was drinking(of course at home in secret-while i was going in to the liquor store getting his stuff) well a week ago I told him I am done going to the store and he needs to get help or the kids and I will lea...
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lindseymommyof2
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7
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1070
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I feel stupid...we are not together anymore!
(Preview)
What do I care if my ex-husband & I would've celebrated twenty years of marriage on Tuesday! I am so over him but I can't seem to forget that date. It is not that I love him anymore. I don't even have a desire to see him or even talk to him at all! But my memory had me at a place as usual. I am so sorry that I eve...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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792
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Busyness and Isolation
(Preview)
Because I've been to "busy" latley, I've isolated myself from everyone, even my Al-anon friends. In the last year I've been to about 5 meetings, not including this second posting that I've put online. That is not enough.........I miss being part of a fellowship which I was when I had more t...
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RoseODAT
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6
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1002
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Need your perspective
(Preview)
My AHsober called last night. He is coming to town for meetings (we work for the same company). He asked if he could stay over night and then we both attend meetings on Friday. I said yes. Our son has moved back in with me after graduating from college. So he could see his son. His sister lives 10 miles down t...
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nmike
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6
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843
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Literature for the newcomer
(Preview)
Hi everyone, my name is Phil and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Although my girlfriend has never experienced me in active addiction, she is the child of an alcoholic, and has shown interest in attending Al-Anon meetings. Any suggested reading I should tell her about? We've had many conversations abo...
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phil a
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8
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1275
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different meetings
(Preview)
I have been going to two alanon meetings a week, I know they are good meetings that follow the principles of al anon. There are a couple of old timers that talk to us about the traditions etc dont give advice, no cross talking things like that. I went to a different meeting last week and people were givi...
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Tracy
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3
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745
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update
(Preview)
Hi all, I haven't posted for a while, but I have been lurking and replying to posts. :) I am never cease to be amazed by how much my life has changed since I decided to take it back and truly focus on me. My divorce from my "A" will be final on 03/02/10. I am anxious, nervous and a little sad. Even th...
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Mandy123
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7
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696
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HELP, I NEED ADVICE!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I have a question. My son is 26 yrs. old and he is the alcoholic. He voluntarily went to the hospital last night and had himself admitted because he is depressed and felt suicidal. He finally admitted he needed help. I thank God for that! He said he had no choice, that he lost everything...
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roxygirl
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6
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623
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Life changing stuff
(Preview)
Hi all, I would like to share some lyrics to a song that has really touched me and has kind of been my song for a while now. You've got your reasons Reasons just to walk away No one would blame you if you didn't want to face the pain You find yourself Up against the wall You're scared to push cause it might fal...
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Mandy123
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2
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692
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Haven't been here for awhile --- MEGA RELAPSE FOR ME
(Preview)
Grrrrrr I am so angry at myself. I had a mega slip the past month and a half. STILL living with exbf. We were still acting as though we were together. He took a turn this week and turned into this horrific individual - not wanting to be near me, saying nasty things. The worst part is that I convinced myself...
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RunnerChick
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8
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993
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why me?
(Preview)
just taking time out from studying to catch up with you all..... my there has been some real progress since the last time i was here for a lot of you! "taking care of you" is beginning to work and it fills me with hope. while i was reading through the posts i had missed i was struck by a common thr...
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miss lucy
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3
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746
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What to do about an active alcoholic?
(Preview)
I read someone post somewhere that its OK to post here everyday. I am going through a tough time, a trial of faith and a trial of someone I love getting close to hitting bottom. My ex boyfriend whom I write about is in a terrible cycle downward. He was sober 9 months with me - left for another alcoholic woman...
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jasobel
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6
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1342
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Have alot of belief in HP but don't have faith :(
(Preview)
Has anyone faced this confusion? I friend of mine recently told me I don't have faith. I said what - of course I have faith I have a strong belief in my higher power. Then I realized he a is right. I have a strong belief that a HP exists - that is is all loving, all knowing and wonderful. I belief in the after lif...
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jasobel
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3
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701
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I know it’s no use railing against life.........but sometimes...... (long...sorry).
(Preview)
Sorry in advance for this vent but my head is about to burst.My Ason (33) is due in court (maybe even been there already, I dont know) for criminal damage....and has another similar charge pending......all in the pursuit of drink. I never thought, as a mother, I would utter these words....... but I h...
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Ness
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4
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810
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Unhappy and discouraged...long, please read...help!
(Preview)
My A has been home from treatment, about 1month, and I am very unhappy. He was gone 4 months (we thought the issue was depression, he had a breakdown, where he pushed me through the laundry room doors and threatened me (he has never done anything like this before), he was arrested, with his parents for 1...
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SheWolf
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8
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927
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Blonde in a Blizzard
(Preview)
Laughter is the sound of recovery... have a great day (((everyone))) Blonde in a BlizzardIt was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car w...
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glad lee
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3
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796
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About Bub
(Preview)
I talked to mbub this morning - she is doing well sounded positive . Docs felt the procedure went well did what it was intended to do , she has new meds and will go back to docs in two weeks by then they will know how they will continue to treat the tumor. She may go home tomorrow if all goes well . she says t...
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abbyal
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3
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645
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so far so good
(Preview)
This is an update to my post a few days ago, ¨I have to do this¨. Anyway, since getting AH to the Dr. he found nothing obviously wrong with him except his drinking. AH said he wanted to quit and it's been three days so far. He looks so much better already. Had some withdrawal symptoms the first two days, but...
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pineapple
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4
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561
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Right where I needed to be.
(Preview)
All last week it was one stress on top of another......my serenity had crumbled and Tuesday night I was planning going to my f2f next day to try and find some healing in the room.Wednesday I woke to a silent snow-world, there had been a huge dump of snow overnight. I thought I wont impose on husb to drive me...
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Ness
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6
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997
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HP N Awareness... What a Week...
(Preview)
Hello All... ;) My Winter Slump is still in full swing, the snow outside is still at over a foot, the sun did try to come out a couple times thru out the week, but there was to much to melt... I started my Week off "Wonderfully", went to the Movies with some Girly's from our Home Group... BIG HELP....
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Jozie
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4
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844
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I can see the worm and I am not biting
(Preview)
Hi all, My soon to be ex "A" has been emailing me lately as this is our only form of communication at this time. Today I had two emails in my inbox and they were nothing but bait. The "I am sorrys" and the "I wish I wasn't such a failure" and the "I wish I was the man that y...
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Mandy123
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5
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773
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A Short Prayer That will Help Us To "Not React" To Our Alcoholic !!!
(Preview)
HP keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Wednesday 17th of February 2010 11:58:07 AM -- Edited by RLC on Wednesday 17th of February 2010 12:05:26 PM
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RLC
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12
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1753
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When is enough enough???
(Preview)
((((((((((Friends)))))))))), My two teenagers are driving me literally insane....I am at the end of my rope with them......I want to tell them get the hell out.....I have endured more than I can handle....all they do is argue and argue over the most stupid stuff....and it's not small arguing it's h...
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Andrea12
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9
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944
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Denial
(Preview)
After a year of putting back together my physical health (and I"m not finished yet) I have come to see my denial at the ex A's drinking, using and general insanity crossed the line into my own life. I certainly had enormous denial about the issues with my health, my financial picture (totally rui...
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maresie
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4
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1139
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wdiagw's post got me to thinking
(Preview)
For those of you who have alcoholic spouses who have done some really disgusting, embarassing things when they are drunk, how do you get past that. I mean really? Peeing in the fridge? Peeing on the tv? My AH has done a lot of things while he's drunk and I just don't see him as the same person anymore - I...
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N8SMOM
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9
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960
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The significant problems we have created cannot be solved at the same level of thinking at when we created them!
(Preview)
Some things just jump right out and bite ya bum, I'm not too good with words some people can just write very few and get it right out there, me I have to write essays, but the the thing is, it all takes time to process what it is, I read to understand it fully and then struggle to try and apply it to my life, even...
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Katy
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8
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1124
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Dry Drunk Infidelity...help.
(Preview)
On Sunday, February 6, I posted a question asking for ESH from those of you who have dealt, successfully, with infidelity by a dry alcoholic. I was very grateful for the 3 very helpful replies. There is one reply, which I wanted to read again because it was so powerful to me. Now it's gone. You know who you...
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ElizabethP65
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8
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3858
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Update
(Preview)
So I told a friend of mine I gave him 90 days before he would be in jail. He called me from somewhere Thurs and Fri. and he was sleeping w/ ppl for a place to stay. Fun, fun, fun. I got a strange call late Sat. night and sure enough he was in jail. I looked it up online and see he is in til the 22nd. So I thought,...
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carolinagirl
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3
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491
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