Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

oscarmom · oscarmom

I am new to the board. for many years my husband has been an alcoholic. I tried everything, as we all have at some point. he got a dui a few years ago, that scared him and he stopped for a while. but of course it doesn't last. so I keep attending al anon meetings for myself. recently he has been drinking more an...

concerned · concerned

I am new here.. My husband is disabled and has had multiple back problems.. He cannot work a steady job. He has several friends who are retired that he hangs out with. He is younger than them, he is 35 they are in 50's... Well they sit around all day and drink.. he has to take meds for his back so the alcohol an...

QOD · QOD

Ok I realize that this is off the subject of Aism....but..... I was wondering if anyone out there has used any of those credit card debt consolidation companies. You can private message me if you want. I have been contemplating them for a while to help me with the credit card debt I have gotten myself...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I think I am finally getting to the point where I can say I am ok by myself. I really don't have time for a man and maybe I have made it this way on purpose because I know it's what I really need. My biggest focus right now is dealing with the situation with my oldest daughter and the daily chaos she creates. ...

maresie · maresie

I know one of the things that kept me stuck on the ex A was his intriguing. Nothing he said made sense, he was full of what he was going to do and how I held him back from doing it. Whatever he wanted to do was unattainable in some way. He was also full of inconsistencies. I am all too aware of this as I now work w...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I've posted here a few times and my posts have run from "why am I dealing with this" to "I have found the serenity". I come here almost every day and read all the ESH from everyone and I feel so blessed to have somewhere to turn to now, nothing feels helpless to me anymore. being her...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Whelp tomorrow is my final court date for the divorce to be final. In some ways the time has flwon by and in other ways it has dragged. I had court this morning becasue my hub did not take the state mandatory parenting class. The divorce would not have been granted without both of us taking this clas...

QOD · QOD

I am struggling a lot lately with my exAH/boyfriend. We have been back together (dating but not living together) since Oct 2008 after a 15 year marriage & 2 year separation/divorce. Crazy I know but it seems to work for the most part. I refuse to let him move back in b/c he still has issues with dep...

xter · xter

i've been inactive for a long time. probably since the 2nd week of August, 09. My AH and I broke up for good on August 6th. just like that, yeah. i remember that morning. we were in our marriage counselor's office and i said, "i'm still really angry with you that you won't admit to cheating on me...

xter · xter

ok - it's another day that i have to be awake and a productive and sane member of society. i really wish i didn't have to be - i'm tired of pretending to be sane :) i'm going to try to be kind to myself today. perhaps the most important thing i can do is to leave the office at 6:30 instead of 8 or 9 like i usually d...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF rang and told me that he has not drank but did do cocain and thats why he never came down. I am s angrey he can not drink he accepts that but still smoke pot on ocassion and now this. I know its not personal just his road of recovery he has these slips and does seem to learn from each one but its like he has...

Destynee · Destynee

AH is detoxing from drugs at home. Our health insurance does not cover any drug or alcohol coverage whatsoever and the county has a long line for help and denied him. So he's been laying in bed for 3 days mostly. But I'm proud of myself for not being led into arguements when he's tried by saying, "Wh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and a pussycat came ashore!! We got the drama but not the whole show and while the TV and News people were hyperventilating over what might happen they didn't mention what did happen. Thanks for the prayers you all turning back a tital wave or tsunami is big work for HP. All we had to do was ask. Keep...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

First of all, I feel a strong urge to thank all Al-Anons for their support, love, and understanding and to remind you to always keep your chins up high, because after all, we are good people that actually do give a damn about our types of situations. If anything we are brave in understanding and confron...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF has just rang and I could not pick up the phone I have spent all day shopping with my daughter to stay focused on my life responsibilities. I do not feel ready to hear what he has to say. Not because I want to punish him. I really do not know what I want or how I feel anymore. Been asking HP for guidan...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

My husband is an alcoholic. For the first 2 years we had kids, life was hell. I stuck by him (so I thought) through rehab. Then he got sober for 4 years. Now our kids are 9 and 7. He has relapsed for the past year. I have recently started to attend Al-Anon. When the kids were babies, it was only me (and him, of co...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

Hi Everyone! I came across a list that shows the principle that goes along with each of the 12 steps and I really found it interesting and wanted to share it and find out what yall thought of it too. (This list does not show to be Al-Anon approved lit) 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that ou...

miss lucy · miss lucy

there is a saying here in england that it never rains but it pours! nothing could be more true for me.... i think there is a permanent rain cloud following me ready to dampen even the best of days! i am starting my study next week....3months of hard work infront of me and i will be ready to launch my busine...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Just passing along something really neat :). Save the date! Hallmark Hall of Fame Presentation on the CBS, Sunday, April 25 at 9 P.M. WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH: THE LOIS WILSON STORY a new Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation starri...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to three years from when I moved out from the ex A. For a full year or more after that I remined enmeshed and totally involved with him on many levels (i.e. he took up every minute of my time and more). Now after three good years of al anon and not living with him I can see that there were many man...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Last night must have been "the night...." My AH fell off the wagon again last night too. I was just going to reply to a post, but decided to start a little different one. I really wanted to go into one of my screaming sessions, but managed to walk away (of course, I threw in a few snide remarks lea...

tweety23 · tweety23

Hi all. Haven't posted in a while but I am starting to feel like I need it again; feeling the anxiety again. I can't really make f2f meetings due to babysitting issues but try to read literature and work the program as much as I can. But I have been slacking lately and getting "those feelings" a...

tlcate · tlcate

This was posted on the MIP AA site. Thought I would share it here. I am looking forward to watching this. The Lois Wilson Story-the Founding of Al-Anon and her life with Bill Wilson... Hallmark Hall of Fame April 25, 2010-looks like a very important production especially for people in recovery......

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. If an OP is unavailable, perhaps one of the members could step-up and chair. Thanks! Love in recovery, Shimo -- Edited by shimo on Sunday 28th of February 2010 12:38:25 PM

tlcate · tlcate

Every so often we see posts that express frustration about moderation on MIP, what can be posted and what can't, what literature can be discussed, whether we are WSO approved and so forth. I was made a moderator and not really given a set of "rules" or told to go to business meetings etc. I ju...

tlcate · tlcate

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42763&p=3&topicID=34341854-- Edited by tlcate on Su...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I thought I really hit my bottom last year when I almost went on a roadtrip with my ah who was planning on taking enough drugs to kill himself and our whole family when we were driving to Mexico. But this year, same time, I am totally overwhelmed by my two toddlers being sick all the time and my ah in recovery...

teddybearpoet · teddybearpoet

Is anyone else having problems get into the chatroom??? I have tried a few times and it says about the server.. Cathy

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

If I'm not snooping, and I happen upon something that indicates that someone has lied to me, what do I do? Lying is unacceptable. I want to let the other person know that. It crossed my honesty boundary. But how can I communicate this without trying to control the other person? I'm really sad, honest...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Came home from a stressful day at work. AH in bed, v ill with "indigestion". (not the first time by a long way). I don't know what to do any more. I said he ought to go to the family doctor - he says he will make the appointment in his own time - I'm not to do it. I don't know what I can say/do that wil...

Tracy · Tracy

I am trying very very hard to work my programme. My A has disappeared again. He got sober last may. then had a slip in November. Has been sober again for around 10 weeks. In this time I have been taken out on dates, bought flowers treated how I desearve. Then bang the disease attacks again. I got on w...

Tracy · Tracy

-- Edited by Tracy on Saturday 27th of February 2010 07:44:18 PM

Jerry F · Jerry F

For the minute but knowing this group another meeting place can pop up at any second!! Tsunami warnings are closing off the area and evacuating the people from it as it is about 10 feet above sea level. Staying home and attending MIP and praying that the victims of yet another earthquake find healing....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I find the older I get and the longer I am on this path the more I know myself: Impatience - I want everything and I want it right now! Neediness - I want to be validated by someone else all the time (preferably a man) Impulsivity - I make rash life changing decisions on a whim. Bossiness - I can't really think...

fishinmama · fishinmama

HI family, Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. We went and visited son in jail. Night before daughter spent her night in jail. Not exactly the picture I had in my head when I brought them home from the hospital. Just trying not to own their problems, sometimes it is difficult. I keep praying that my hp...

maresie · maresie

I grew up in a family toxic with resentment, chaos and frustration. I know that set up meant that I gravitated towards dysfunctional people, they were familiar I knew how to interact around them and I also knew what was expected. These days after losing everything and I mean everything after a relati...

wp · wp

Today Feb 21 is ms joni's birthday. Let's all say Happy Birthday to o2bnormaljoni :) w[

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks to everyone who posted & commented on my last posting. I was very hesitant when I thought about mentioning it. I guess I was nervous that I would be criticized for not totally letting go of that significant date in my long history of dating & marrying alcoholics in the past. I remember e...

new member · siorghra

Hi, I'm new here and I wasn't sure how this works, but oh well. I'm deployed right now and I was informed that my husband has been AWOL and essentially missing for more than a month. He was supposed to be going to ASAP (army substance abuse program) for alcohol abuse. Even though I told his unit that he was o...

Tracy · Tracy

My ex husband has an addiction that has progressed to a level that he has deserted my children. I am so tired I work ful time. Have the house to run, no help fincually , the chores, rearing two teenager. I do not know what I feel. Thanks to Al anon I know that he is ill and it is not personal. But this does n...

New member, this is my story · Alyana

My relationship with my father is ruining the rest of the relationships in my life. My father has been an alcoholic all of my life. By the time I was 19, I had come to terms with this fact, and told myself that, to have any sort of relationship with this man, I cannot trust him. He's the person I would go to wh...

speck31 · speck31

I haven't commented on very many peoples posts yet because I don't think I have much to offer at this point...but again - I am very thankful to read all that you all share on here! I feel like I have gotten worse in the past couple of days. I was doing so well - staying away from him. But his ex-wife let me kno...

jasobel · jasobel

I am feeling really confused about alcoholism today. I know I need to detach and work on myself. I have been working really hard on this, but today I need to vent. My A BF left me 3 months ago for another woman who is an alcoholic. He is further down the rabbit hole then he has ever been now that he is with her a...

Slugcat · Slugcat

i am a recovering alcoholic myself. my husband I think is starting to have a drink problem. We used to drink together about 10 years ago he managed to cut down and i couldnt cut down, i had to stop and go to aa. his drinking has always been ok, heavey sometimes but he can take it or leave it, seemingly. recent...

doxie · doxie

February 22, 2010 Before you read my nephew's letter to the judge.........One cousin died that week, once cousin lived. Two automobile accidents, two very different results. One shattered family......ours. Goodbye dear Debbie. I hope that justice is served for our beloved daughter, sister, n...

melsim · melsim

hi i am all new to this, i have been with my partner for 6 years and he is addicted to alcahol, he is 28 and has been drinking since he was very young, i got with him not knowing he was an addict. he told me about 3 year ago, i was shocked but i knew something wasnt right, i couldnt leave him as i thought everything...

freeagain · freeagain

William Moyers was on GMA this morning. He is a higher up at Hazelden. He was speaking about Charlie Sheen going back into rehab. He identified himself as a recovering A of 16 years. His message was good, on target. But it made me wonder about attraction rather than promotion. From Hazelden, the leadi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so this may seem silly - well probably not to all of you but maybe the rest of the rational world. I have always been one to jump right into relationships. It's either all or nothing. It's on or it's off. It's hot or it's cold. We are living together from almost the day we meet and are inseperable. S...

Destynee · Destynee

I can't get to a f2f meeting. A/DH took our car and I have no one to babysit my kids anyway and one is sick. This is new to me. He came home last night for the first time in 4 days and was high on crack/herion what have you. He was so angry and blamed me for all this. Was awful. Was a bit threatening. I staye...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Settling and maintaining boundaries is what I think I need to focus on right now. I've gotten tons better at thinking about where I want the boundary to go and wanting it to exist. That's progress for me, believe it or not. When I got here, I didn't realize how much I allowed people to step all over me or...

Aloha · Aloha

I was reading Canadian Guy's post about loving yourself from the CODA board, and it made me think of a book I've been reading lately called "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It's not CAL, but I've really found for me that I picked up this book at exactl...

Destynee · Destynee

It's been a while since I've been here. My husband was an active A. In March 2008, he went to rehab and got sober. March 7th of this year would have been 2 years. 3 weeks ago he started drinking. He hooked up with an old friend and started using drugs. He admitted to cocaine and crack. I got laid off in A...

essgee1952 · essgee1952

I have read a lot here and posted a little, mostly learning, gaining hope and inspiration. My AH of 18 years is typical in many ways, not so in others. He has a good job and makes good money, although we are in bankruptcy because of repeated arrests for DUI and public drunk, disturbing the peace, etc. H...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... I found this list on the CODA website, along with dozens of affirmations.... This list seems to be a good tool for practicing that "self-love" that has been talked about a lot on the board in recent days. (printed with permission from CODA website www.onlinecoda.net ) Take care...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hi I need an op to chair the Thrusday meeting Feb 25th. 2010. I have my childrens concert at thier school tommorow night and wont be able to chair. It is a step tradition meeting however you can skip that and just do a regular meeting i will pick up the traditions next week. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)

maresie · maresie

One of my neighbors ended up being hosptialized this last weekend. She has a girlfriend who basically stole all her medication and she just lost it over time as she could not get anymore medication for herself. She is still in the hospital at this point. I really believe I was certainly in the same pla...

maresie · maresie

Since I left the ex A the only men I have met have (a) active addictions (b) no boundaries and (c) both issues. There are many days when I can buckle up and say that I dont' mind being alone. Really I have not known what it is like to have an active partnership that is someone who helps out rather than deman...

Codependent · Codependent

I called the A tonight to see how he was doing. Was feeling bad about a friendship that had fallen apart. I was deceptive and hinted that it was a male friend- it wasn't. Anyway, the A ends up telling me that his mom visited this weekend in Florida and that he thinks she is bothered by the fact that he drin...

Maria123 · Maria123

A day late and a dollar short . . . but in Alanon I learned it's never too late So . . . . A BIG SPECIAL HAPPY to Grammie yesterday. I love attending meetings with you, your ESH is so full of experience, strength and hope. I hope your birthday was the best! Maria

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I talked to my ex MIL on the phone last night and she has said she is finally done rescuing the A. She has been there to bail him out every time for YEARS and I have been saying over and over that she is not helping him. She is in AA herself and said yesterday that all of her AA friends said she is not helping him...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	husband finally entered treatment (Preview) I am new to the board. for many years my husband has been an alcoholic. I tried everything, as we all have at some point. he got a dui a few years ago, that scared him and he stopped for a while. but of course it doesn't last. so I keep attending al anon meetings for myself. recently he has been drinking more an...	oscarmom	7	856	Mar 3, 2010 by ythannah
	Worried wife (Preview) I am new here.. My husband is disabled and has had multiple back problems.. He cannot work a steady job. He has several friends who are retired that he hangs out with. He is younger than them, he is 35 they are in 50's... Well they sit around all day and drink.. he has to take meds for his back so the alcohol an...	concerned	3	592	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	Credit Card Debt Consolidation (Preview) Ok I realize that this is off the subject of Aism....but..... I was wondering if anyone out there has used any of those credit card debt consolidation companies. You can private message me if you want. I have been contemplating them for a while to help me with the credit card debt I have gotten myself...	QOD	7	839	Mar 3, 2010 by QOD
	Feeling pretty good about life lately (Preview) I think I am finally getting to the point where I can say I am ok by myself. I really don't have time for a man and maybe I have made it this way on purpose because I know it's what I really need. My biggest focus right now is dealing with the situation with my oldest daughter and the daily chaos she creates. ...	carolinagirl	2	771	Mar 3, 2010 by pineapple
	Intriguing (Preview) I know one of the things that kept me stuck on the ex A was his intriguing. Nothing he said made sense, he was full of what he was going to do and how I held him back from doing it. Whatever he wanted to do was unattainable in some way. He was also full of inconsistencies. I am all too aware of this as I now work w...	maresie	12	834	Mar 3, 2010 by maresie
	Feeding the positive (Preview) I've posted here a few times and my posts have run from "why am I dealing with this" to "I have found the serenity". I come here almost every day and read all the ESH from everyone and I feel so blessed to have somewhere to turn to now, nothing feels helpless to me anymore. being her...	lizzakiss	6	971	Mar 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	"D" day is fast approaching (Preview) Hi all, Whelp tomorrow is my final court date for the divorce to be final. In some ways the time has flwon by and in other ways it has dragged. I had court this morning becasue my hub did not take the state mandatory parenting class. The divorce would not have been granted without both of us taking this clas...	Mandy123	8	920	Mar 2, 2010 by tea2
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) I am struggling a lot lately with my exAH/boyfriend. We have been back together (dating but not living together) since Oct 2008 after a 15 year marriage & 2 year separation/divorce. Crazy I know but it seems to work for the most part. I refuse to let him move back in b/c he still has issues with dep...	QOD	11	998	Mar 2, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Now what? (Preview) i've been inactive for a long time. probably since the 2nd week of August, 09. My AH and I broke up for good on August 6th. just like that, yeah. i remember that morning. we were in our marriage counselor's office and i said, "i'm still really angry with you that you won't admit to cheating on me...	xter	7	684	Mar 2, 2010 by blender_girl
	one minute at a time (Preview) ok - it's another day that i have to be awake and a productive and sane member of society. i really wish i didn't have to be - i'm tired of pretending to be sane :) i'm going to try to be kind to myself today. perhaps the most important thing i can do is to leave the office at 6:30 instead of 8 or 9 like i usually d...	xter	6	661	Mar 2, 2010 by maresie
	slipping so angrey (Preview) My ABF rang and told me that he has not drank but did do cocain and thats why he never came down. I am s angrey he can not drink he accepts that but still smoke pot on ocassion and now this. I know its not personal just his road of recovery he has these slips and does seem to learn from each one but its like he has...	Tracy	4	851	Mar 2, 2010 by Karilynn
	Feeling a bit better about myself (Preview) AH is detoxing from drugs at home. Our health insurance does not cover any drug or alcohol coverage whatsoever and the county has a long line for help and denied him. So he's been laying in bed for 3 days mostly. But I'm proud of myself for not being led into arguements when he's tried by saying, "Wh...	Destynee	7	1061	Mar 1, 2010 by maresie
	The prayers worked!! (Preview) and a pussycat came ashore!! We got the drama but not the whole show and while the TV and News people were hyperventilating over what might happen they didn't mention what did happen. Thanks for the prayers you all turning back a tital wave or tsunami is big work for HP. All we had to do was ask. Keep...	Jerry F	7	964	Mar 1, 2010 by maresie
	Outside Al-Anon Friendships (Preview) First of all, I feel a strong urge to thank all Al-Anons for their support, love, and understanding and to remind you to always keep your chins up high, because after all, we are good people that actually do give a damn about our types of situations. If anything we are brave in understanding and confron...	RoseODAT	4	1619	Mar 1, 2010 by maresie
	confused (Preview) My ABF has just rang and I could not pick up the phone I have spent all day shopping with my daughter to stay focused on my life responsibilities. I do not feel ready to hear what he has to say. Not because I want to punish him. I really do not know what I want or how I feel anymore. Been asking HP for guidan...	Tracy	6	873	Mar 1, 2010 by Mattie
	Can't get my head wrapped around the steps... (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. For the first 2 years we had kids, life was hell. I stuck by him (so I thought) through rehab. Then he got sober for 4 years. Now our kids are 9 and 7. He has relapsed for the past year. I have recently started to attend Al-Anon. When the kids were babies, it was only me (and him, of co...	looking_for_peace	9	972	Mar 1, 2010 by miss lucy
	Something I thought might be of interest to everyone (Preview) Hi Everyone! I came across a list that shows the principle that goes along with each of the 12 steps and I really found it interesting and wanted to share it and find out what yall thought of it too. (This list does not show to be Al-Anon approved lit) 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that ou...	Suzi1965	4	681	Mar 1, 2010 by miss lucy
	just letting off steam!!! (Preview) there is a saying here in england that it never rains but it pours! nothing could be more true for me.... i think there is a permanent rain cloud following me ready to dampen even the best of days! i am starting my study next week....3months of hard work infront of me and i will be ready to launch my busine...	miss lucy	3	895	Mar 1, 2010 by miss lucy
	Losi Wilson's Story to be on CBS---April 25th (Preview) Hi all, Just passing along something really neat :). Save the date! Hallmark Hall of Fame Presentation on the CBS, Sunday, April 25 at 9 P.M. WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH: THE LOIS WILSON STORY a new Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation starri...	Mandy123	1	1361	Mar 1, 2010 by Suzi1965
	denial over responsibility and chaos (Preview) I am coming up to three years from when I moved out from the ex A. For a full year or more after that I remined enmeshed and totally involved with him on many levels (i.e. he took up every minute of my time and more). Now after three good years of al anon and not living with him I can see that there were many man...	maresie	1	773	Mar 1, 2010 by hotrod
	An eye opener for me (Preview) Last night must have been "the night...." My AH fell off the wagon again last night too. I was just going to reply to a post, but decided to start a little different one. I really wanted to go into one of my screaming sessions, but managed to walk away (of course, I threw in a few snide remarks lea...	Sweet Stanley	5	890	Mar 1, 2010 by QOD
	Creating normal, happy memories for kids, with an A in the house.. (Preview) Hi all. Haven't posted in a while but I am starting to feel like I need it again; feeling the anxiety again. I can't really make f2f meetings due to babysitting issues but try to read literature and work the program as much as I can. But I have been slacking lately and getting "those feelings" a...	tweety23	12	1023	Mar 1, 2010 by DreamXL
	The Lois Wilson Story starring Winona Ryder... (Preview) This was posted on the MIP AA site. Thought I would share it here. I am looking forward to watching this. The Lois Wilson Story-the Founding of Al-Anon and her life with Bill Wilson... Hallmark Hall of Fame April 25, 2010-looks like a very important production especially for people in recovery......	tlcate	3	1263	Feb 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	Monday A.M. Al-Anon Meeting (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. If an OP is unavailable, perhaps one of the members could step-up and chair. Thanks! Love in recovery, Shimo -- Edited by shimo on Sunday 28th of February 2010 12:38:25 PM	shimo	1	450	Feb 28, 2010 by Suzi1965
	Group Conscience (Preview) Every so often we see posts that express frustration about moderation on MIP, what can be posted and what can't, what literature can be discussed, whether we are WSO approved and so forth. I was made a moderator and not really given a set of "rules" or told to go to business meetings etc. I ju...	tlcate	1	1404	Feb 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	Step One - Posted on the Step Board (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42763&p=3&topicID=34341854-- Edited by tlcate on Su...	tlcate	1	737	Feb 28, 2010 by hotrod
	overwhelmed mom and very angry at ah (Preview) I thought I really hit my bottom last year when I almost went on a roadtrip with my ah who was planning on taking enough drugs to kill himself and our whole family when we were driving to Mexico. But this year, same time, I am totally overwhelmed by my two toddlers being sick all the time and my ah in recovery...	angelchar375	10	1628	Feb 28, 2010 by khdhjw
	CHATROOM (Preview) Is anyone else having problems get into the chatroom??? I have tried a few times and it says about the server.. Cathy	teddybearpoet	1	505	Feb 27, 2010 by tea2
	Lying (Preview) If I'm not snooping, and I happen upon something that indicates that someone has lied to me, what do I do? Lying is unacceptable. I want to let the other person know that. It crossed my honesty boundary. But how can I communicate this without trying to control the other person? I'm really sad, honest...	White Rabbit	12	1405	Feb 27, 2010 by tweety23
	What do I do now? (Preview) Came home from a stressful day at work. AH in bed, v ill with "indigestion". (not the first time by a long way). I don't know what to do any more. I said he ought to go to the family doctor - he says he will make the appointment in his own time - I'm not to do it. I don't know what I can say/do that wil...	Tattyhead	7	706	Feb 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	disease is on the attack (Preview) I am trying very very hard to work my programme. My A has disappeared again. He got sober last may. then had a slip in November. Has been sober again for around 10 weeks. In this time I have been taken out on dates, bought flowers treated how I desearve. Then bang the disease attacks again. I got on w...	Tracy	4	905	Feb 27, 2010 by Mandy123
	disease on the attack (Preview) -- Edited by Tracy on Saturday 27th of February 2010 07:44:18 PM	Tracy	0	755	Feb 27, 2010 by Tracy
	Super Saturday AFG Canceled... (Preview) For the minute but knowing this group another meeting place can pop up at any second!! Tsunami warnings are closing off the area and evacuating the people from it as it is about 10 feet above sea level. Staying home and attending MIP and praying that the victims of yet another earthquake find healing....	Jerry F	4	904	Feb 27, 2010 by Tracy
	My faults (Preview) I find the older I get and the longer I am on this path the more I know myself: Impatience - I want everything and I want it right now! Neediness - I want to be validated by someone else all the time (preferably a man) Impulsivity - I make rash life changing decisions on a whim. Bossiness - I can't really think...	carolinagirl	3	672	Feb 27, 2010 by Sheila46
	A Trip To Jail (Preview) HI family, Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. We went and visited son in jail. Night before daughter spent her night in jail. Not exactly the picture I had in my head when I brought them home from the hospital. Just trying not to own their problems, sometimes it is difficult. I keep praying that my hp...	fishinmama	6	941	Feb 27, 2010 by Suzi1965
	the luxury of resentment. (Preview) I grew up in a family toxic with resentment, chaos and frustration. I know that set up meant that I gravitated towards dysfunctional people, they were familiar I knew how to interact around them and I also knew what was expected. These days after losing everything and I mean everything after a relati...	maresie	3	1489	Feb 27, 2010 by maresie
	birthday in room (Preview) Today Feb 21 is ms joni's birthday. Let's all say Happy Birthday to o2bnormaljoni :) w[	wp	12	954	Feb 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	THANKS (Preview) Thanks to everyone who posted & commented on my last posting. I was very hesitant when I thought about mentioning it. I guess I was nervous that I would be criticized for not totally letting go of that significant date in my long history of dating & marrying alcoholics in the past. I remember e...	Hoot Nanny	2	820	Feb 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	new member (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and I wasn't sure how this works, but oh well. I'm deployed right now and I was informed that my husband has been AWOL and essentially missing for more than a month. He was supposed to be going to ASAP (army substance abuse program) for alcohol abuse. Even though I told his unit that he was o...	siorghra	5	809	Feb 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	How do I feel? (Preview) My ex husband has an addiction that has progressed to a level that he has deserted my children. I am so tired I work ful time. Have the house to run, no help fincually , the chores, rearing two teenager. I do not know what I feel. Thanks to Al anon I know that he is ill and it is not personal. But this does n...	Tracy	2	919	Feb 27, 2010 by blender_girl
	New member, this is my story (Preview) My relationship with my father is ruining the rest of the relationships in my life. My father has been an alcoholic all of my life. By the time I was 19, I had come to terms with this fact, and told myself that, to have any sort of relationship with this man, I cannot trust him. He's the person I would go to wh...	Alyana	12	1108	Feb 26, 2010 by Alyana
	Sort of spinning (Preview) I haven't commented on very many peoples posts yet because I don't think I have much to offer at this point...but again - I am very thankful to read all that you all share on here! I feel like I have gotten worse in the past couple of days. I was doing so well - staying away from him. But his ex-wife let me kno...	speck31	9	876	Feb 26, 2010 by jasobel
	I know I need to detach but I need to vent... (Preview) I am feeling really confused about alcoholism today. I know I need to detach and work on myself. I have been working really hard on this, but today I need to vent. My A BF left me 3 months ago for another woman who is an alcoholic. He is further down the rabbit hole then he has ever been now that he is with her a...	jasobel	5	934	Feb 26, 2010 by jasobel
	not knowing anything. waiting. its hard. (Preview) i am a recovering alcoholic myself. my husband I think is starting to have a drink problem. We used to drink together about 10 years ago he managed to cut down and i couldnt cut down, i had to stop and go to aa. his drinking has always been ok, heavey sometimes but he can take it or leave it, seemingly. recent...	Slugcat	6	853	Feb 26, 2010 by maresie
	A tribute to my niece Debbie who was killed five days after her cousin's (my son) almost fatal accident. (Preview) February 22, 2010 Before you read my nephew's letter to the judge.........One cousin died that week, once cousin lived. Two automobile accidents, two very different results. One shattered family......ours. Goodbye dear Debbie. I hope that justice is served for our beloved daughter, sister, n...	doxie	9	3908	Feb 26, 2010 by Karilynn
	help (Preview) hi i am all new to this, i have been with my partner for 6 years and he is addicted to alcahol, he is 28 and has been drinking since he was very young, i got with him not knowing he was an addict. he told me about 3 year ago, i was shocked but i knew something wasnt right, i couldnt leave him as i thought everything...	melsim	2	753	Feb 26, 2010 by RLC
	Charlie Sheen and Hazelden (Preview) William Moyers was on GMA this morning. He is a higher up at Hazelden. He was speaking about Charlie Sheen going back into rehab. He identified himself as a recovering A of 16 years. His message was good, on target. But it made me wonder about attraction rather than promotion. From Hazelden, the leadi...	freeagain	16	5456	Feb 26, 2010 by Karilynn
	What does "taking it slow" look like? (Preview) Ok so this may seem silly - well probably not to all of you but maybe the rest of the rational world. I have always been one to jump right into relationships. It's either all or nothing. It's on or it's off. It's hot or it's cold. We are living together from almost the day we meet and are inseperable. S...	carolinagirl	8	882	Feb 26, 2010 by Karilynn
	I have some simple questions as a new person-can you help? (Preview) I can't get to a f2f meeting. A/DH took our car and I have no one to babysit my kids anyway and one is sick. This is new to me. He came home last night for the first time in 4 days and was high on crack/herion what have you. He was so angry and blamed me for all this. Was awful. Was a bit threatening. I staye...	Destynee	5	1023	Feb 25, 2010 by kitty
	Boundaries and saying NO (Preview) Settling and maintaining boundaries is what I think I need to focus on right now. I've gotten tons better at thinking about where I want the boundary to go and wanting it to exist. That's progress for me, believe it or not. When I got here, I didn't realize how much I allowed people to step all over me or...	White Rabbit	5	1405	Feb 25, 2010 by miss lucy
	A great companion book (Preview) I was reading Canadian Guy's post about loving yourself from the CODA board, and it made me think of a book I've been reading lately called "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It's not CAL, but I've really found for me that I picked up this book at exactl...	Aloha	1	919	Feb 25, 2010 by miss lucy
	Its been a while since I've been here and I'm so lost and feeling guilty (Preview) It's been a while since I've been here. My husband was an active A. In March 2008, he went to rehab and got sober. March 7th of this year would have been 2 years. 3 weeks ago he started drinking. He hooked up with an old friend and started using drugs. He admitted to cocaine and crack. I got laid off in A...	Destynee	12	731	Feb 25, 2010 by Slugcat
	Better Off Dead Or In Jail? (Preview) I have read a lot here and posted a little, mostly learning, gaining hope and inspiration. My AH of 18 years is typical in many ways, not so in others. He has a good job and makes good money, although we are in bankruptcy because of repeated arrests for DUI and public drunk, disturbing the peace, etc. H...	essgee1952	4	1057	Feb 25, 2010 by Jerry F
	10 Steps to Loving Yourself... (Preview) Hi all... I found this list on the CODA website, along with dozens of affirmations.... This list seems to be a good tool for practicing that "self-love" that has been talked about a lot on the board in recent days. (printed with permission from CODA website www.onlinecoda.net ) Take care...	canadianguy	10	2509	Feb 25, 2010 by Festfan
	Need op to chair Feb 25th Meeting 9pm (Preview) Hi I need an op to chair the Thrusday meeting Feb 25th. 2010. I have my childrens concert at thier school tommorow night and wont be able to chair. It is a step tradition meeting however you can skip that and just do a regular meeting i will pick up the traditions next week. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	369	Feb 24, 2010 by kerry5
	Stress levels (Preview) One of my neighbors ended up being hosptialized this last weekend. She has a girlfriend who basically stole all her medication and she just lost it over time as she could not get anymore medication for herself. She is still in the hospital at this point. I really believe I was certainly in the same pla...	maresie	6	875	Feb 24, 2010 by maresie
	Being lonely (Preview) Since I left the ex A the only men I have met have (a) active addictions (b) no boundaries and (c) both issues. There are many days when I can buckle up and say that I dont' mind being alone. Really I have not known what it is like to have an active partnership that is someone who helps out rather than deman...	maresie	7	899	Feb 24, 2010 by carolinagirl
	Feedback Please (Preview) I called the A tonight to see how he was doing. Was feeling bad about a friendship that had fallen apart. I was deceptive and hinted that it was a male friend- it wasn't. Anyway, the A ends up telling me that his mom visited this weekend in Florida and that he thinks she is bothered by the fact that he drin...	Codependent	11	1023	Feb 24, 2010 by carolinagirl
	Grammie's Birthday (Preview) A day late and a dollar short . . . but in Alanon I learned it's never too late So . . . . A BIG SPECIAL HAPPY to Grammie yesterday. I love attending meetings with you, your ESH is so full of experience, strength and hope. I hope your birthday was the best! Maria	Maria123	14	1391	Feb 23, 2010 by Peggy7
	A little hope (Preview) I talked to my ex MIL on the phone last night and she has said she is finally done rescuing the A. She has been there to bail him out every time for YEARS and I have been saying over and over that she is not helping him. She is in AA herself and said yesterday that all of her AA friends said she is not helping him...	carolinagirl	3	766	Feb 23, 2010 by maire rua
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.