The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning alanon family, fishinmama here. I have figured out I have an expectation problem. So much has happened in the last couple of weeks, geez months, for the first time I think I see a bit of the lesson here. Daughter went to court this last week, her dad took her. She got some pretty stiff fines, and must do work crew which she has to pay 40.00 a day to do. She was hot when she got home. I was not mean but pointed out that it was the law's way of spanking her. Son went to court, no one attended that. Conflict with getting daughter to work. Yesterday son sent a letter, he has to stay in jail another month. That was all it said. Their dad was here, he is a dry meth addict no program in truth he and son did alot of meth together. After reading the letter he sat and cried for hours. I can't believe it but I kept my mouth shut, went outside and looked at my flowers coming up and did a bit of weeding.
Last night daughter and ex were really sad. Me, in truth I keep thinking wow their hp is really working on all of them, just keeping hopeing there are some bottoms being hit here. I did not say much.
This morning drinking coffee and thanking hp for letting me loose a few pounds...lol I have been working on the wii fit and progress has been slow. Haven't lost 10 lbs a day. This morning though showed some real progress. I was talking with hp and saying ty for helping me stick with it, with an attitude that was going sideways.. then bam!!! It hit me. I am working one patience. Giving up to hp and waiting for the right time and right order to happen in his world. I am an inpatient person, but the last few months I have told myself to just give it time...then come expectations...I have expected the 3 of them to get it together. I have spent a better part of the last 10 yrs or so giving them ultimatums (sp?) on what I expected. Expecting things of myself that oh my goodness were so out of line. Like doing yard work last week, when I headed out the door my goal was crazy. Daughter and I both worked a day then I worked a day and my goal will take a couple of more days to complete, another little lesson in expectation. At least I came in and chuckled to myself about how out of wack my time line and reality were.
The driving restriction, still have 2 more months, I'll tell you what this has been really hard but ya know not half as hard as I blew it up in my head to be. In the long run I will only think of gratitude because if none of this had happened I wouldn't be able to hear. Ummm 6 months no driving for hearing...Thank you HP!!
I don't know if this makes sense it is hard to explain but hopefully it will help me just enjoy the moment ahead of me rather than worrying away that precious moment for what ifs or if only's of the future.
Throw in a feeling of a ton of gratitude for me right now too.
I am off to do some wii fit boxing...lol didn't think I would like that either but love it now. Geez sure alot happening for me today....Life is good
Just loved that share Fishin...and the picture I got was that you are growing up while growing in at the same time. Congradulations on your growth and new eyesight and responses. This is the share that helps me grow and I too am grateful. Keep coming back and make sure none of those kicks or punches hit anything. LOL. ((((hugs))))
Fishinmama - I too thank you for your share. It's awesome to see how the program works in others - it seems to inspire me to think/reflect on changes I still can make.
I'm still learning to keep my mouth shut. That may be a lifelong lesson - but I've been doing much better with my reactions/control. More often that not, my open mouth of late has been to ask questions instead of giving orders. I still have a ways to go though as those questions may not always be timed right.
Hugs to you today and how fun that you're loving the Wii! Heard great things about it - might have to try myself one day. Keep taking care of you - it shows...the work and the progress!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
