The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AH is detoxing from drugs at home. Our health insurance does not cover any drug or alcohol coverage whatsoever and the county has a long line for help and denied him.
So he's been laying in bed for 3 days mostly.
But I'm proud of myself for not being led into arguements when he's tried by saying, "Why do you care, no one cares about me"
and when he found out that I took myself off our joint account that he emptied and bounced everything from, "Of course, total overreaction again on your part." It's not an overreaction, its protection.
I just said, I'm working my program (he preached to me for a long time to go to Al-Anon) and left it at that.
I shoveled all the snow yesterday by myself and took care of my sick kids.
I feel more empowered and a little better even though theres a huge part of me that really wants to punch him in the face and say look what you've done.
But I won't. I won't let him do that to me, I want to make my life better for me and my kids.
((Destynee)) Has your AH been to a doctor? How is he doing physically with the detox? My AH recently went through detox at home but he was seeing a doctor for monitoring and the doctor had him on valium for the first few days to help with the withdrawal symptoms. He got through it OK with only minor problems but I know it can be very dangerous in some situations and best to have medical help. Drinking lots of fluids-water, juice, soda, etc. is recommended. Also I've read that sweets help with the cravings. I noticed this was true with my A so I made sure there was always fruit or muffins or candy around. ¨....a huge part of me that really wants to punch him in the face and say look what you've done.¨ Hey, I know that feeling! But it wouldn't have helped anything, only made me feel worse afterward. I didn't do it, and either did you. Good for us! You're doing great for not reacting to his self pity and hurtful comments. Keep working your program and take care of yourself and your kids. And keep coming back.
I shoveled all the snow yesterday by myself and took care of my sick kids.
I feel more empowered and a little better even though theres a huge part of me that really wants to punch him in the face and say look what you've done.
But I won't. I won't let him do that to me, I want to make my life better for me and my kids.
It's nice to have just a hint of hope.
Dear ((((Destynee))))
WOW Thank you for your powerful life affirming share. Great progress.
Seing what you would like to do and choosing to act and feel differently is the very power of this program.
Aloha Destynee...The disease can teach you how to laugh also. God it is sooooo humorous at times; the self pity and whining. Pooor me!! It is also indiotic when the warped perceptions end in the drunken rant. Over reaction? is that kinda sorta like a OVER DOSE? That's my own past sarcasm to the situation and you gotta find your own if you want to. They are best used when by yourself as if you're with your alcoholic it will make things worse and you don't need that.
Do your program stuff girl...recover while he's still on his back. There is not law that says you gotta die while he's killing himself. I re-read my marriage contract(s) and none of them said that the death in "till death do us part" has to be mine if I could help it.
Good program...get to a meeting yet? (((((hugs)))))
Thank you all. He's eating sweets. He's taking klonopin as prescribed by a doctor. He did go to work tonight but he's a nervous wreck about it.
I haven't gone to a f2f meeting this week. We had 19 inches of snow the last 2 days and I had my 3 year old to the docs today and she has brochitis and a fever for 3 days. She has horrible asthma.
I'm hoping to get out when she's a bit better next week. I found a meeting that has a children's room so that's great for me and made me really happy.
The bad thing is that my unemployment ran out this week, but I applied for 3 jobs and hope to apply for more. I have faith in my HP that things will work out for me the way they are supposed to.
I think its formidable that you make choices with so much on your plate. I know I was a long long time in the program before I managed to make choices not to argue and to take care of myself.
The ex A I was with never detoxed. I don't think he ever imagined a life without drugs and alcohol no matter what his health did (which was to completely cave in).
I could not conceive of having a better life for myself for such a long long time. I could conceive of not having so much drama and pain. I could conceive of making better choices but I felt absolutely imprisoned by his addiction for so so long. I am impressed by your attitude, lightness and compassion for him.
