The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been in Al-Anon for almost a year now and still don't have a sponsor. I know I need one to successfully work the program and to make much-needed changes in my life. I've got 3 people that I would like to ask, but I'm not sure which one would be best. I've been praying about it and asking God to help me to find the right sponsor for me. I had an opportunity to ask one of my 3 choices today, but I just didn't have a good feeling about it. Is that my Higher Power's way of saying she's not right for me? Or am I just procrastinating (one of my many character defects)?
Can I please get some ESH on how any of you picked your sponsor?
Aloha Mom...sometimes the procrastination is really about fear...fear of any or many forms. If the person has some assets that you would like in yourself ask them for their sponsorship and give them the grace to say yes or no. Good luck with the draw.
I recently moved to another state, so I need to find a new sponsor here, someone that I can get f2f with. I'd like to find someone exactly like my old sponsor... so for me, my character defect of perfectionism is my big problem... I just gotta find the "perfect one."
It was suggested to me, that I just choose SOMEONE, and put a time limit on it, like a trial period. Just ask someone to be a temporary sponsor, for like a month. Then see how you feel.
Whatever you decide to do, you can always un-do. ((hugs))
-- Edited by glad lee on Saturday 20th of February 2010 11:36:16 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I agree with jerry it could just be your fear of a commitment , take your time listen to the 3 women , have they worked the steps are they positive do they smile alot >> ?? that was a biggie for me . When the right one and time presents itself there will be no doubt , you will know . Easy does it . Louise
When I looked for a sponosr I used the phone list. I called several people and talked to them. I tried to find one that sounded like she was willing to listen to me. I tried to find one that had a similar time schedule as I had....(no need to have a sponsor who works nights and sleeps days if my schedule is jsut the opposite) I also listened carefullly in the meetings to find a person who had worked the steps and who lived the program.
Once you do that and find somebody you are comfortable jsut talkign to, ASK!
I agree with what afglin said. No need to make a firm commitment right now. Talk to the 3 people you are thinking about for a while and after you get a sense that who the both of you will be comfortable with than "officially" ask that person to be your sponsor. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to other people for guidance and comfort.
Temporary sponsorship worked for me with my first sponsor. It didn't work out with her, she was too busy. My second was GREAT!!!
Funny thing is, the first sponsor is now able to take me through my second round of the steps. I called and asked, she called back and said she couldn't do it, too busy still. But my voicemail wasn't working, I only saw the missed call. So I emailed her my thoughts and needs and she accepted! I didn't get the message for another week that she couldn't do it! Interesting how things work out. I was a little afraid and apprehensive to ask, but I did it and let go of the results.
The neat thing is, it is an honor to be asked, and I learn more from those I sponsor than they learn from me.
Fear is tough. I find that when it is really standing in my way - I start the conversation with "I am really afraid...", or "I am nervous"... or "this is difficult for me". Seems to help and lets them know exactly how I feel and will help them help me walk through it.
Good luck. We are rooting for you!
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
