The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. We went and visited son in jail. Night before daughter spent her night in jail. Not exactly the picture I had in my head when I brought them home from the hospital. Just trying not to own their problems, sometimes it is difficult. I keep praying that my hp will help me remember that this is an area I have no control over and to help me keep my focus on the work I have been doing for myself.
When you visit jail you only visit on camera. Didn't know that, guess they figure inmates don't need hugs. Truth is I sure would have liked to give him one. He is a mess. Started crying when he first saw us. His talk was great, just hoping we will see the walk. Found out that he has to stay in for 45 days on the dwi. Long time to think things over.
It is so hard not to think through your heart when it is your kids. I know I can do this with the thought that it just might be the start down a different path for them and the constant reminder that I know I have said everything I can think of to no avail. I promise myself to stay out of hp's way and let him work his magic.
For today I will remind my self to follow the path of nature and practice patience.
Such an inspiring post fishinmama. You are a perfect example of taking care of yourself first, doing the best thing you could possibly do for your son by detaching with love, then getting out of HP's way, realizing that he is in the best place he can be------In HP's hands.
Here's hoping that this is the start of him "finding his bottom", and he will use this as a wake-up call to chase his own recovery.... Perhaps 45 days, in a relatively safe environment, but with his privileges and rights severely cut back, will give him the necessary time and awakening to choose a different path for himself....
The other cool thing, is it also gives you 45 days - without the daily stresses - to work on you & your recovery!!
Good stuff
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru.....I hope and pray you are right....and this will be the start of a new beginning....for him and for you my prayers are with you....you are a strong woman.....keep faith on this journey as god is beside you......
(((Fishinmama))) - what a marvelous share! It sounds as if you fully recognize your day was difficult, however shared (and showed) how the program works in your life.
I can relate to your thought about ...not what I thought when I brought them home from hospital. I often find myself, not as frequently as before I arrived, wondering when things changed and if there was a 'trigger' or 'event'.
It's very, very difficult to let go of our kids - I agree and work on it every day. Thank you for your post and your ESH - needed to see/hear for sure.
Prayers your way from me too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
