Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MAR2011 · MAR2011

If you didn't see my last post, my fiance and I have a 2 month old daughter. People have told us, "It's ok to let her cry sometimes." Yes, I know that but he takes it as every time. I have to ask him, "Could you pick her up? Could you make her a bottle? Could you give her the pacifier?" I ju...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared that my dear son,35, is married to an A. It has been the usual progression of horror. Breaks my heart. I am and have been blessed by MIP members to know how to listen to him. I have shared so many Al Anon tools and truths with him all along. He would call so miserable. I would say I know how horrib...

atheos · atheos

I just sent my boss an email explaining that the time when he usually asks me to work overtime really doesn't fit my schedule well, and listing other times when overtime would fit better into my schedule. I'm worried that maybe I shouldn't have done that. The company exists to serve our customers, not o...

Engaged · Engaged

Hey everyone. I am a bit lost right now and I found this site. I am hoping that someone here will understand and can give me some insight. My fiance is a recovering addict/alcoholic. She is 2.5 years clean from drugs and just a little over a month for alcohol. She is really trying to get her life toget...

poohead · poohead

Hi, I'm new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been sober for almost 3 months now. I am so angry!! I have so much rage inside of me and I don't know why. I can't go through the day without yelling at my kids. I am so mad about everything. I want to feel better so bad. I feel like I'm pushing my family away...

mr5191 · mr5191

This is my second posting but this is something that has been on my mind. I have started the Al-Anon recovery program and already my life is improving. I am no longer living my AW's life and feeling happier. I know I have a long way to go but this is another testament to this program's success. However,...

MAR2011 · MAR2011

My fiance is an alcoholic, he has totalled 4 cars in 5 years (one of which was mine). He was an alcoholic way before I met him, he has been to rehab once (3 years ago) but made no use of what he learned there and skipped out early. We have a 2month old daughter that he leaves me alone with all night so he can drink...

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is the place for this, but I have to vent. Its 1am and I was up to get a drink. I saw my husband's coat on the chair with the pocket all zipped up so I went inside. There I found a check with my name signed at the bottom and my supermarket checking card. He just did this to me a coupl...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

Hi Everyone, I've been reading here for months, but this is my first post. I've been attending alanon meetings for almost 18 months and have been working the steps with a sponsor for about 6 months. My wife is two weeks shy of having one year's sobriety. She's in program, working the steps, and is gon...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Got a nudge to share the readings that I am choosing to find my personal meaning in today. "Meaning-centered people do not try to control the moment but instead live in it. ... By stepping into and living within the moment, we get some seperation from on perspective on time. By living in the mome...

suave75 · suave75

Time article about addiction. How it affects the BRAINhttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html-- Edited by suave75 on Sunday 15th of May 2011 02:19:36 PM

member922 · member922

So I have stayed the course not communicating with the abf. Spent last evening watching tv and pretty much relaxing. Today, my son has a tball game. Then no plans, as well as for tomorrow. I am very happy to have the drama of weekend fighting, out of my life for now. I was invited to a tentative coffee d...

tommyecat · tommyecat

This prayer was shared at my 8.30 AM meeting today. I thought it was good stuff so I am passing it on. Hope you all enjoy! PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR Father, Thou knowest I am growing older. Keep me from becoming talkative, and possessed with the idea that I must express myself on every subject. Release...

atheos · atheos

My face-to-face meeting divides into tables in separate rooms. One of the rooms has a storage closet. My table finished first, and as I was leaving, a man who is not in Al-Anon asked me to go into the room with the storage closet (where people were still meeting) and get something for him (I think he wante...

Tracy · Tracy

I have not seen my sober ABF for a month, we have had one or two conversations but not much contact as I had hit my rock bottom and he was also feeling weak in his recovery, he has been sober for 8an a half months he was sober six months las time. he came to my sons 18th on friday we were very civil we acted normal...

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, So I told my AH that I would be moving out. Naturally he cried and carrried on. The next day at church he had this break-through revelation about how he needs to change his life. The day after that he confessed to me what he had been doing wrong as far as his shady addictive behavior goes. (I al...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I see the word relapse used a lot. In my thinking, relapse is what happens when you are truly working a program and trying to be straight and sober but something happens to drag you back down. My AH has not been sober mixed with relapses in my opinion - when he is not drinking he is doing so to prove to me that h...

Toricross · Toricross

I am angry not sure if it's at my self or him. Hate is all I feel can't express this to him because he is happy to be sober n it's 2 mths sober n he is on step 4. He knows every thing I try at times to talk but I am consumed with anger. I love him n hate at same time. Want to run as I do always. Tired pissed n feed up. What'...

parfait624 · parfait624

I have a question on interventions. First a little background. My Abf has been attending AA meetings, working the steps ,and has abstained from drinking since november of 2007. However, he did continue to smoke pot. As a dry drunk his sickness has caused us to have many issues over the last four ye...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have decided that I am going to confront the mother of my son's friend, whom i am certain is supplying my son with pot and cigarettes, and at the very least, which is undisputable, allowing and supporting such unhealthy and illegal behavior in minors. I am pretty sure she may have a medical marijuana l...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I will admit my ah behavior is fascinating he went from being a dry drunk of two months to a drunk in few hours ! He went from being miserable and depressed to a charming happy man he never was sober because he denies having a problem. I am detached from this now I am just observing. My daughter for the first t...

Sydkidney · Sydkidney

I am living with my boyfriend who, as it turns out, is addicted to vicodin. I grew up with my parents being drug addicts and am very used to relapse and dissapointment. Boyfriend has gone through rehab and it seemed to change his view on life. He is optomistic and striving to be responsible and, as far as I...

Diva · Diva

Last evening, after another full day of drinking his drink of choice, gin, he began threatening to kill people. I was dumbfounded. Raving, throwing furniture, and completely out of control. I left him alone, went to another part of the house, and after a while he calmed down and went to bed. I don'...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Figured out all the logistics, got myself to a meeting and I am so glad I did! It was a good meeting on resentments. I shared a little about me being there on my knees and not knowing WHAT to do anymore. I shared about my situation too. I got lots of kind words and smiles, imagine that! People kindly smi...

Georgia · Georgia

i've posted a few times - i'm very new to the board and Al Anon but not the disease. i am married to a highly intelligent, high functioning alcoholic. but over the last year or so...the cracks are starting to affect even his job and his ability to provide. long story short....i came home monday to a for...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! I'm not sure how to ask this so I'll do my best and hopefully it will make some sense. I am working the steps with my sponsor and I am feeling so good lately. I have done 4, 5, and 6 reciently and one of my biggest things was dealing with my resentments and fears surrounding my AH's infidelity. I feel like I...

laura dene · laura dene

im new to al anon (went to one f2f last week & have been reading the posts here for about a week also). im married to an alcoholic who just relapsed at easter after 5 months sober, and my dad is a (mostly functioning) alcoholic. im not sure where to start.. my dah is out at our friends farm drinking righ...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hello: I have a question; I would like to hear particularly from those who have been in Al-Anon for at least three or more years and have worked the steps thouroughly, at least once. Question: Is it wise to admit to the active alcoholic the wrongful attempts/strategies I used (in the past) to get him to s...

Otie · Otie

Hi everyone. I could sure use some input on a subject very close to my heart right now. I have done lots of reading and get what appears conflicting explainations, depending on the source. Does the A/addict ever feel remorse for the pain that they inflct upon their loved ones?? On one hand, some say th...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

Me and my exabf broke up months and months ago. I'm not going to go into the details bc it will just piss me off. Anywho, he treated me awful, lied, cheated, stole from me, called me crazy,etc. during our long dysfunctional relationship. My question is he treated me horribly broke-up with me like I never...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Is my qualifier. My abf. My sweet abf who is really a great person inside...he is the one I am obsessed with and addicted to. My sickness is so great that I can't focus on me for one minute. 30 seconds is too long sometimes. I struggle all day. I am so tired from a life time of concentrating on everyone...

new member · mr5191

New to board and new to Al-Anon. Attended my first meeting last week and it was nice to finally meet people who are going through or have gone through what I have. Typical story. Married 14 years to my wife and have 3 kids. She probably has been an alcoholic for a while but I guess I always ignored the si...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All - Some might recall that I shared a while back about attending Al-Anon meetings with my sister who has been in AA for several decades. I'm here to give those who are interested an update on how that is going. Initially, I was a bit disappointed that my sister began attending meetings with me. I f...

Evian · Evian

This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I...

Diva · Diva

I've just learned how to handle myself. Does it hurt? Does it anger me? Yep. Do I dwell? I do not. Wishing all of you happiness and peace, Diva

dean · dean

This is my first post. I have been married 21 years tomorrow to a once, wonderful lady, but over the past 7-8 years, she turned to alcohol. It has been a long road with her having no real desire to do treatment. This past Holiday, I decided to separate from her and file for divorce. She has been in and ou...

parfait624 · parfait624

Today I am frustrated.....my dry ABF and I took a break this winter, for about two 1/2 months. About a month ago we started communicating again. He has an issue with gambling but like when he was drinking he is a functioning gambler, bills get paid etc. Poker replaced drinking and eventually like no...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we have had a good few abusive arguments and two weeks ago we were going to split up, until we both got so upset that we decided to give it another go, he promised he would change although he did blame me for the argument, saying I sided with my family...

tommyecat · tommyecat

The following is taken from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011 from WSO: How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life? We can easily recognize how alcohol affects he drinker. It's not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker's behavior has affected them. These...

member922 · member922

I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board). He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how w...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So its been a few weeks since I've been on this site. The reason being is that I finally got a full time teaching posiiton and I also work at a restaurant a few night a week. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I barely have time to make it to face to face meetings and I am feeling really guilty about it and falling...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I received the following in an email when I first began my journey of recovery. I thought how does one do this? Years later, I now know Alanon has taught me how. I hope you all enjoy. Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify w...

likemyheart · likemyheart

A woman three blocks away from where I live was murdered last night by her substance abusing estranged husband, then he rolled his car down a hill in a high speed pursuit, was ejected and flown to the big city via helicopter and whether or not he makes it is anybodys guess. When I told my AH (in a text) he res...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Found this on Codependency and thought I'd share with anyone else learning about this topic too. It's quite scary but helpful to learn about ourselves in this process. This is not Al Anon material, but was helpful to me when I read it. Characteristics of Codependency *************************...

Evian · Evian

I saw AH the other day... he went through detox and is now going through the rehab. He is still convinced that he has no problem. Oh well.. his problem, not mine. He said something that I couldn't believe. He told me.. "Well, you have to change too.. you have to learn that when I've had a couple beers n...

peacewithin · peacewithin

This family disease really sucks. My oldest son never returns my calls, he never called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. It just hurts me so much. Then when I see him he acts like nothing it wrong. I feel like Hes got the perfect behavior of an Acoholic in many ways can this happen? I feel like the victim I get...

Jozie · Jozie

You know, I have been trying to get back in tune on a respectable Level with my HP here lately, and tho never from from my thoughts, I have be trying to see & notice things that have been apart of my moods, and emotions, things that help... things that do not... I found a Weird Connection with Clothes to...

Kate_P · Kate_P

Hi I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past wit...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I didn't get to go to the meeting last night, when we got home, my son's needed some mom time after supper. So instead of a meeting, we took a walk, we played at the play ground near by, and we laughed a lot. It was actually really nice. I felt that I needed the time with them. I am on here this morning askin...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I love to go to an early Saturday morning Alanon meeting at 8.30 AM. The reason why I go walking in with wet hair, fresh out of the shower is because of the years of solid recovery in that room. So many people with forty plus years of recovery are there and say the darndest things such as this past week. &q...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I just replied to another post with this joke I heard in the Alanon rooms. It just tickles me so much I wanted to share it with all of you. P.S., God is showing off today! >>>>>>>HERE IS A JOKE TO LIGHTEN THE SPONSOR LOAD<<<<<<<<<< A man in a ho...

member922 · member922

Hi Gang. I always feel bad when I get this way and it's hard for me to offer support, yet I come here begging for it. So I told the abf that we really need some time apart, not just a breather for a week, but a decent amount of time to work on ourselves and see if we really miss each other and want to be together. ...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I found my own meeting for tonight and I am going. Its open and so bf asked if he could join me. He went to his own meetings over the weekend with the guy he spoke with Friday night and Saturday morning. I think something is changing in me and maybe in him as well. I feel as if a weight has been lifted, and I...

ythannah · ythannah

I've had a pretty smooth ride of it, not having to use my "active" (as I think of them) Al-Anon tools because my ABF has been sober. So last week he got a sore throat with a bad cough -- it's pretty bad, I got it a couple days later, and it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades -- and decided to take...

DanH · DanH

I just found this site last weekend, and everyone support has been truly great. But I feel incredibly guilty because my friend hurt himself on Thursday night/Friday morning after getting behind the wheel. Long story short, I've tried reaching out to him about his drinking, he's lied about seeing a t...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son called last night. It was rather early but for some reason I was asleep in bed and didn't even hear the phone ring in my room. That's a first! My husband told me this morning that he called and was drunk. He was getting ready to go to sleep IN HIS TRUCK! That would have completely ruined my good night'...

Otie · Otie

Hi. I am feeling so miserable this morning and badly need to talk to someone about it. Since my husband unexpectedly died recently, I have had many people making requests of me since I live in a large house with lots of storage space. They have requested to live here while "getting on their fee...

clep · clep

My A is consistently asking me what is wrong. I mean numerous times a day. If I am thinking about something that has to do with me and just me, I may look like I am thiking. He has to know about what. If what I say doesn't sound believable enough he questions me about it. Basically he will only accept an a...

Gailey · Gailey

I am so dissatisfied with my life! I don't like my homelife with my husband. I don't like my job or my co-workers and I am even having a hard time with my siblings. My kids are a given..... The past few years my husband has distance himself from me for whatever reason. I don't even care anymore. We are buyi...

glad lee · glad lee

Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes. I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow. I trust that, in the future, I will not...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I can't tell him he's done something wrong without a blow up... (Preview) If you didn't see my last post, my fiance and I have a 2 month old daughter. People have told us, "It's ok to let her cry sometimes." Yes, I know that but he takes it as every time. I have to ask him, "Could you pick her up? Could you make her a bottle? Could you give her the pacifier?" I ju...	MAR2011	6	647	May 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	Want to share this (Preview) I have shared that my dear son,35, is married to an A. It has been the usual progression of horror. Breaks my heart. I am and have been blessed by MIP members to know how to listen to him. I have shared so many Al Anon tools and truths with him all along. He would call so miserable. I would say I know how horrib...	Debilyn	3	542	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Assertive, or pushy? (Preview) I just sent my boss an email explaining that the time when he usually asks me to work overtime really doesn't fit my schedule well, and listing other times when overtime would fit better into my schedule. I'm worried that maybe I shouldn't have done that. The company exists to serve our customers, not o...	atheos	7	1287	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	New and I'm trying to figure things out. (Preview) Hey everyone. I am a bit lost right now and I found this site. I am hoping that someone here will understand and can give me some insight. My fiance is a recovering addict/alcoholic. She is 2.5 years clean from drugs and just a little over a month for alcohol. She is really trying to get her life toget...	Engaged	6	1261	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I need help (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been sober for almost 3 months now. I am so angry!! I have so much rage inside of me and I don't know why. I can't go through the day without yelling at my kids. I am so mad about everything. I want to feel better so bad. I feel like I'm pushing my family away...	poohead	7	647	May 16, 2011 by kitty
	newbie with difficult medical question (Preview) This is my second posting but this is something that has been on my mind. I have started the Al-Anon recovery program and already my life is improving. I am no longer living my AW's life and feeling happier. I know I have a long way to go but this is another testament to this program's success. However,...	mr5191	11	679	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I'm new and thinking of going to a meeting... (Preview) My fiance is an alcoholic, he has totalled 4 cars in 5 years (one of which was mine). He was an alcoholic way before I met him, he has been to rehab once (3 years ago) but made no use of what he learned there and skipped out early. We have a 2month old daughter that he leaves me alone with all night so he can drink...	MAR2011	9	977	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	trouble (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't know if this is the place for this, but I have to vent. Its 1am and I was up to get a drink. I saw my husband's coat on the chair with the pocket all zipped up so I went inside. There I found a check with my name signed at the bottom and my supermarket checking card. He just did this to me a coupl...	lyn46	9	529	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Alcoholic Wife Takes My Inventory (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've been reading here for months, but this is my first post. I've been attending alanon meetings for almost 18 months and have been working the steps with a sponsor for about 6 months. My wife is two weeks shy of having one year's sobriety. She's in program, working the steps, and is gon...	surfingmaestro	16	1426	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	What I am meditating on today (Preview) Got a nudge to share the readings that I am choosing to find my personal meaning in today. "Meaning-centered people do not try to control the moment but instead live in it. ... By stepping into and living within the moment, we get some seperation from on perspective on time. By living in the mome...	Jennifer	3	573	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Time Article about Addiction from 2007 (Preview) Time article about addiction. How it affects the BRAINhttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html-- Edited by suave75 on Sunday 15th of May 2011 02:19:36 PM	suave75	2	470	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Weekend Update Anyone?? (Preview) So I have stayed the course not communicating with the abf. Spent last evening watching tv and pretty much relaxing. Today, my son has a tball game. Then no plans, as well as for tomorrow. I am very happy to have the drama of weekend fighting, out of my life for now. I was invited to a tentative coffee d...	member922	16	702	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Passing It On, Prayer shared in a meeting (Preview) This prayer was shared at my 8.30 AM meeting today. I thought it was good stuff so I am passing it on. Hope you all enjoy! PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR Father, Thou knowest I am growing older. Keep me from becoming talkative, and possessed with the idea that I must express myself on every subject. Release...	tommyecat	10	992	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Of all the stupid reasons to freak out... (Preview) My face-to-face meeting divides into tables in separate rooms. One of the rooms has a storage closet. My table finished first, and as I was leaving, a man who is not in Al-Anon asked me to go into the room with the storage closet (where people were still meeting) and get something for him (I think he wante...	atheos	11	725	May 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	disease on attack (Preview) I have not seen my sober ABF for a month, we have had one or two conversations but not much contact as I had hit my rock bottom and he was also feeling weak in his recovery, he has been sober for 8an a half months he was sober six months las time. he came to my sons 18th on friday we were very civil we acted normal...	Tracy	3	466	May 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	heart squished...again (Preview) Hi everyone, So I told my AH that I would be moving out. Naturally he cried and carrried on. The next day at church he had this break-through revelation about how he needs to change his life. The day after that he confessed to me what he had been doing wrong as far as his shady addictive behavior goes. (I al...	lyn46	10	672	May 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Relapse? (Preview) I see the word relapse used a lot. In my thinking, relapse is what happens when you are truly working a program and trying to be straight and sober but something happens to drag you back down. My AH has not been sober mixed with relapses in my opinion - when he is not drinking he is doing so to prove to me that h...	likemyheart	6	672	May 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Angry (Preview) I am angry not sure if it's at my self or him. Hate is all I feel can't express this to him because he is happy to be sober n it's 2 mths sober n he is on step 4. He knows every thing I try at times to talk but I am consumed with anger. I love him n hate at same time. Want to run as I do always. Tired pissed n feed up. What'...	Toricross	4	611	May 14, 2011 by Toricross
	Interventions (Preview) I have a question on interventions. First a little background. My Abf has been attending AA meetings, working the steps ,and has abstained from drinking since november of 2007. However, he did continue to smoke pot. As a dry drunk his sickness has caused us to have many issues over the last four ye...	parfait624	7	698	May 14, 2011 by parfait624
	taking some action (Preview) I have decided that I am going to confront the mother of my son's friend, whom i am certain is supplying my son with pot and cigarettes, and at the very least, which is undisputable, allowing and supporting such unhealthy and illegal behavior in minors. I am pretty sure she may have a medical marijuana l...	Loupiness	6	447	May 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Behaviors (Preview) I will admit my ah behavior is fascinating he went from being a dry drunk of two months to a drunk in few hours ! He went from being miserable and depressed to a charming happy man he never was sober because he denies having a problem. I am detached from this now I am just observing. My daughter for the first t...	Crazy Frog	3	661	May 14, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Wondering if anyone else has encountered this (Preview) I am living with my boyfriend who, as it turns out, is addicted to vicodin. I grew up with my parents being drug addicts and am very used to relapse and dissapointment. Boyfriend has gone through rehab and it seemed to change his view on life. He is optomistic and striving to be responsible and, as far as I...	Sydkidney	8	510	May 14, 2011 by oldergal
	Frightening! (Preview) Last evening, after another full day of drinking his drink of choice, gin, he began threatening to kill people. I was dumbfounded. Raving, throwing furniture, and completely out of control. I left him alone, went to another part of the house, and after a while he calmed down and went to bed. I don'...	Diva	10	576	May 13, 2011 by Diva
	Went to alanon meeting last night :) (Preview) Figured out all the logistics, got myself to a meeting and I am so glad I did! It was a good meeting on resentments. I shared a little about me being there on my knees and not knowing WHAT to do anymore. I shared about my situation too. I got lots of kind words and smiles, imagine that! People kindly smi...	youfoundme	4	512	May 13, 2011 by wp
	i am done with my AH/marriage....do i keep going to Al Anon? (Preview) i've posted a few times - i'm very new to the board and Al Anon but not the disease. i am married to a highly intelligent, high functioning alcoholic. but over the last year or so...the cracks are starting to affect even his job and his ability to provide. long story short....i came home monday to a for...	Georgia	11	496	May 13, 2011 by clep
	Letting go of resentments (Preview) Hi! I'm not sure how to ask this so I'll do my best and hopefully it will make some sense. I am working the steps with my sponsor and I am feeling so good lately. I have done 4, 5, and 6 reciently and one of my biggest things was dealing with my resentments and fears surrounding my AH's infidelity. I feel like I...	Aimee	6	3688	May 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	new here & have some questions (Preview) im new to al anon (went to one f2f last week & have been reading the posts here for about a week also). im married to an alcoholic who just relapsed at easter after 5 months sober, and my dad is a (mostly functioning) alcoholic. im not sure where to start.. my dah is out at our friends farm drinking righ...	laura dene	3	517	May 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Question on Making Amends (Preview) Hello: I have a question; I would like to hear particularly from those who have been in Al-Anon for at least three or more years and have worked the steps thouroughly, at least once. Question: Is it wise to admit to the active alcoholic the wrongful attempts/strategies I used (in the past) to get him to s...	GailMichelle	12	3321	May 12, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Guilt and remorse--Yes? No? Depends...? (Preview) Hi everyone. I could sure use some input on a subject very close to my heart right now. I have done lots of reading and get what appears conflicting explainations, depending on the source. Does the A/addict ever feel remorse for the pain that they inflct upon their loved ones?? On one hand, some say th...	Otie	14	5817	May 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	Need suggestions on detaching after breakup and moving on (Preview) Me and my exabf broke up months and months ago. I'm not going to go into the details bc it will just piss me off. Anywho, he treated me awful, lied, cheated, stole from me, called me crazy,etc. during our long dysfunctional relationship. My question is he treated me horribly broke-up with me like I never...	Stillalive2dream	8	1779	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	My drug of choice (Preview) Is my qualifier. My abf. My sweet abf who is really a great person inside...he is the one I am obsessed with and addicted to. My sickness is so great that I can't focus on me for one minute. 30 seconds is too long sometimes. I struggle all day. I am so tired from a life time of concentrating on everyone...	youfoundme	7	545	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	new member (Preview) New to board and new to Al-Anon. Attended my first meeting last week and it was nice to finally meet people who are going through or have gone through what I have. Typical story. Married 14 years to my wife and have 3 kids. She probably has been an alcoholic for a while but I guess I always ignored the si...	mr5191	8	437	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Attending Meetings w/My Alcoholic Sister (Preview) Hi All - Some might recall that I shared a while back about attending Al-Anon meetings with my sister who has been in AA for several decades. I'm here to give those who are interested an update on how that is going. Initially, I was a bit disappointed that my sister began attending meetings with me. I f...	GailMichelle	4	575	May 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Feeling the frustration, taking deep breaths and saying the Serenity Prayer (Preview) This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I...	Evian	4	823	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Nothing's changed here.... (Preview) I've just learned how to handle myself. Does it hurt? Does it anger me? Yep. Do I dwell? I do not. Wishing all of you happiness and peace, Diva	Diva	5	684	May 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Wife in hospital (Preview) This is my first post. I have been married 21 years tomorrow to a once, wonderful lady, but over the past 7-8 years, she turned to alcohol. It has been a long road with her having no real desire to do treatment. This past Holiday, I decided to separate from her and file for divorce. She has been in and ou...	dean	5	690	May 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Games (Preview) Today I am frustrated.....my dry ABF and I took a break this winter, for about two 1/2 months. About a month ago we started communicating again. He has an issue with gambling but like when he was drinking he is a functioning gambler, bills get paid etc. Poker replaced drinking and eventually like no...	parfait624	5	2749	May 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Boyfriend is depressed (Preview) I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we have had a good few abusive arguments and two weeks ago we were going to split up, until we both got so upset that we decided to give it another go, he promised he would change although he did blame me for the argument, saying I sided with my family...	Jules1011	4	540	May 11, 2011 by hotrod
	How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life (Preview) The following is taken from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011 from WSO: How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life? We can easily recognize how alcohol affects he drinker. It's not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker's behavior has affected them. These...	tommyecat	1	471	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	The Agreement (Preview) I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board). He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how w...	member922	6	557	May 11, 2011 by member922
	Looking for experiences (Preview) So its been a few weeks since I've been on this site. The reason being is that I finally got a full time teaching posiiton and I also work at a restaurant a few night a week. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I barely have time to make it to face to face meetings and I am feeling really guilty about it and falling...	Corgi2	5	569	May 11, 2011 by Tracy
	Property Lines (Preview) I received the following in an email when I first began my journey of recovery. I thought how does one do this? Years later, I now know Alanon has taught me how. I hope you all enjoy. Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify w...	tommyecat	3	411	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Violence close to home (Preview) A woman three blocks away from where I live was murdered last night by her substance abusing estranged husband, then he rolled his car down a hill in a high speed pursuit, was ejected and flown to the big city via helicopter and whether or not he makes it is anybodys guess. When I told my AH (in a text) he res...	likemyheart	3	595	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Codependency (Preview) Found this on Codependency and thought I'd share with anyone else learning about this topic too. It's quite scary but helpful to learn about ourselves in this process. This is not Al Anon material, but was helpful to me when I read it. Characteristics of Codependency *************************...	roonpugs	5	6088	May 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	And so it continues (Preview) I saw AH the other day... he went through detox and is now going through the rehab. He is still convinced that he has no problem. Oh well.. his problem, not mine. He said something that I couldn't believe. He told me.. "Well, you have to change too.. you have to learn that when I've had a couple beers n...	Evian	3	421	May 11, 2011 by Evian
	SAD (Preview) This family disease really sucks. My oldest son never returns my calls, he never called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. It just hurts me so much. Then when I see him he acts like nothing it wrong. I feel like Hes got the perfect behavior of an Acoholic in many ways can this happen? I feel like the victim I get...	peacewithin	9	976	May 10, 2011 by likemyheart
	Isn't it Strange... ;0) (Preview) You know, I have been trying to get back in tune on a respectable Level with my HP here lately, and tho never from from my thoughts, I have be trying to see & notice things that have been apart of my moods, and emotions, things that help... things that do not... I found a Weird Connection with Clothes to...	Jozie	6	641	May 10, 2011 by pineapple
	New to the board and going back to Al-Anon (Preview) Hi I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past wit...	Kate_P	4	560	May 10, 2011 by Kate_P
	What do you tell your kids about going to a meeting? (Preview) I didn't get to go to the meeting last night, when we got home, my son's needed some mom time after supper. So instead of a meeting, we took a walk, we played at the play ground near by, and we laughed a lot. It was actually really nice. I felt that I needed the time with them. I am on here this morning askin...	youfoundme	11	830	May 10, 2011 by Tracy
	Heard in a meeting (Preview) I love to go to an early Saturday morning Alanon meeting at 8.30 AM. The reason why I go walking in with wet hair, fresh out of the shower is because of the years of solid recovery in that room. So many people with forty plus years of recovery are there and say the darndest things such as this past week. *&q...*	tommyecat	7	557	May 10, 2011 by RLC
	Sponsorship Joke (Preview) I just replied to another post with this joke I heard in the Alanon rooms. It just tickles me so much I wanted to share it with all of you. *P.S., God is showing off today!* >>>>>>>HERE IS A JOKE TO LIGHTEN THE SPONSOR LOAD<<<<<<<<<< A man in a ho...	tommyecat	6	3536	May 10, 2011 by member922
	Same old post... (Preview) Hi Gang. I always feel bad when I get this way and it's hard for me to offer support, yet I come here begging for it. So I told the abf that we really need some time apart, not just a breather for a week, but a decent amount of time to work on ourselves and see if we really miss each other and want to be together. ...	member922	9	668	May 10, 2011 by member922
	Tonight is open alanon for me :) (Preview) I found my own meeting for tonight and I am going. Its open and so bf asked if he could join me. He went to his own meetings over the weekend with the guy he spoke with Friday night and Saturday morning. I think something is changing in me and maybe in him as well. I feel as if a weight has been lifted, and I...	youfoundme	5	684	May 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	16 Months Sober and Now a Relapse (Preview) I've had a pretty smooth ride of it, not having to use my "active" (as I think of them) Al-Anon tools because my ABF has been sober. So last week he got a sore throat with a bad cough -- it's pretty bad, I got it a couple days later, and it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades -- and decided to take...	ythannah	10	1299	May 10, 2011 by ythannah
	my friend got in a car accident after driving, and I feel the guilt... (Preview) I just found this site last weekend, and everyone support has been truly great. But I feel incredibly guilty because my friend hurt himself on Thursday night/Friday morning after getting behind the wheel. Long story short, I've tried reaching out to him about his drinking, he's lied about seeing a t...	DanH	7	1428	May 10, 2011 by Karilynn
	thank God I didn't hear the phone last night (Preview) My A son called last night. It was rather early but for some reason I was asleep in bed and didn't even hear the phone ring in my room. That's a first! My husband told me this morning that he called and was drunk. He was getting ready to go to sleep IN HIS TRUCK! That would have completely ruined my good night'...	Gailey	4	736	May 10, 2011 by Karilynn
	Has Anyone Faced This? (Preview) Hi. I am feeling so miserable this morning and badly need to talk to someone about it. Since my husband unexpectedly died recently, I have had many people making requests of me since I live in a large house with lots of storage space. They have requested to live here while "getting on their fee...	Otie	10	769	May 10, 2011 by Otie
	Need a one liner or twelve. (Preview) My A is consistently asking me what is wrong. I mean numerous times a day. If I am thinking about something that has to do with me and just me, I may look like I am thiking. He has to know about what. If what I say doesn't sound believable enough he questions me about it. Basically he will only accept an a...	clep	15	832	May 9, 2011 by glad lee
	do you find it hard being with just yourself? (Preview) I am so dissatisfied with my life! I don't like my homelife with my husband. I don't like my job or my co-workers and I am even having a hard time with my siblings. My kids are a given..... The past few years my husband has distance himself from me for whatever reason. I don't even care anymore. We are buyi...	Gailey	14	577	May 9, 2011 by Aloha
	Today's thought - I have made mistakes (Preview) Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes. I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow. I trust that, in the future, I will not...	glad lee	8	1324	May 9, 2011 by member922
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.