Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

Hi Everyone, I've been reading here for months, but this is my first post. I've been attending alanon meetings for almost 18 months and have been working the steps with a sponsor for about 6 months. My wife is two weeks shy of having one year's sobriety. She's in program, working the steps, and is gon...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Got a nudge to share the readings that I am choosing to find my personal meaning in today. "Meaning-centered people do not try to control the moment but instead live in it. ... By stepping into and living within the moment, we get some seperation from on perspective on time. By living in the mome...

suave75 · suave75

Time article about addiction. How it affects the BRAINhttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html-- Edited by suave75 on Sunday 15th of May 2011 02:19:36 PM

member922 · member922

So I have stayed the course not communicating with the abf. Spent last evening watching tv and pretty much relaxing. Today, my son has a tball game. Then no plans, as well as for tomorrow. I am very happy to have the drama of weekend fighting, out of my life for now. I was invited to a tentative coffee d...

tommyecat · tommyecat

This prayer was shared at my 8.30 AM meeting today. I thought it was good stuff so I am passing it on. Hope you all enjoy! PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR Father, Thou knowest I am growing older. Keep me from becoming talkative, and possessed with the idea that I must express myself on every subject. Release...

atheos · atheos

My face-to-face meeting divides into tables in separate rooms. One of the rooms has a storage closet. My table finished first, and as I was leaving, a man who is not in Al-Anon asked me to go into the room with the storage closet (where people were still meeting) and get something for him (I think he wante...

Tracy · Tracy

I have not seen my sober ABF for a month, we have had one or two conversations but not much contact as I had hit my rock bottom and he was also feeling weak in his recovery, he has been sober for 8an a half months he was sober six months las time. he came to my sons 18th on friday we were very civil we acted normal...

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, So I told my AH that I would be moving out. Naturally he cried and carrried on. The next day at church he had this break-through revelation about how he needs to change his life. The day after that he confessed to me what he had been doing wrong as far as his shady addictive behavior goes. (I al...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I see the word relapse used a lot. In my thinking, relapse is what happens when you are truly working a program and trying to be straight and sober but something happens to drag you back down. My AH has not been sober mixed with relapses in my opinion - when he is not drinking he is doing so to prove to me that h...

Toricross · Toricross

I am angry not sure if it's at my self or him. Hate is all I feel can't express this to him because he is happy to be sober n it's 2 mths sober n he is on step 4. He knows every thing I try at times to talk but I am consumed with anger. I love him n hate at same time. Want to run as I do always. Tired pissed n feed up. What'...

parfait624 · parfait624

I have a question on interventions. First a little background. My Abf has been attending AA meetings, working the steps ,and has abstained from drinking since november of 2007. However, he did continue to smoke pot. As a dry drunk his sickness has caused us to have many issues over the last four ye...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have decided that I am going to confront the mother of my son's friend, whom i am certain is supplying my son with pot and cigarettes, and at the very least, which is undisputable, allowing and supporting such unhealthy and illegal behavior in minors. I am pretty sure she may have a medical marijuana l...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I will admit my ah behavior is fascinating he went from being a dry drunk of two months to a drunk in few hours ! He went from being miserable and depressed to a charming happy man he never was sober because he denies having a problem. I am detached from this now I am just observing. My daughter for the first t...

Sydkidney · Sydkidney

I am living with my boyfriend who, as it turns out, is addicted to vicodin. I grew up with my parents being drug addicts and am very used to relapse and dissapointment. Boyfriend has gone through rehab and it seemed to change his view on life. He is optomistic and striving to be responsible and, as far as I...

Diva · Diva

Last evening, after another full day of drinking his drink of choice, gin, he began threatening to kill people. I was dumbfounded. Raving, throwing furniture, and completely out of control. I left him alone, went to another part of the house, and after a while he calmed down and went to bed. I don'...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Figured out all the logistics, got myself to a meeting and I am so glad I did! It was a good meeting on resentments. I shared a little about me being there on my knees and not knowing WHAT to do anymore. I shared about my situation too. I got lots of kind words and smiles, imagine that! People kindly smi...

Georgia · Georgia

i've posted a few times - i'm very new to the board and Al Anon but not the disease. i am married to a highly intelligent, high functioning alcoholic. but over the last year or so...the cracks are starting to affect even his job and his ability to provide. long story short....i came home monday to a for...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! I'm not sure how to ask this so I'll do my best and hopefully it will make some sense. I am working the steps with my sponsor and I am feeling so good lately. I have done 4, 5, and 6 reciently and one of my biggest things was dealing with my resentments and fears surrounding my AH's infidelity. I feel like I...

laura dene · laura dene

im new to al anon (went to one f2f last week & have been reading the posts here for about a week also). im married to an alcoholic who just relapsed at easter after 5 months sober, and my dad is a (mostly functioning) alcoholic. im not sure where to start.. my dah is out at our friends farm drinking righ...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hello: I have a question; I would like to hear particularly from those who have been in Al-Anon for at least three or more years and have worked the steps thouroughly, at least once. Question: Is it wise to admit to the active alcoholic the wrongful attempts/strategies I used (in the past) to get him to s...

Otie · Otie

Hi everyone. I could sure use some input on a subject very close to my heart right now. I have done lots of reading and get what appears conflicting explainations, depending on the source. Does the A/addict ever feel remorse for the pain that they inflct upon their loved ones?? On one hand, some say th...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

Me and my exabf broke up months and months ago. I'm not going to go into the details bc it will just piss me off. Anywho, he treated me awful, lied, cheated, stole from me, called me crazy,etc. during our long dysfunctional relationship. My question is he treated me horribly broke-up with me like I never...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Is my qualifier. My abf. My sweet abf who is really a great person inside...he is the one I am obsessed with and addicted to. My sickness is so great that I can't focus on me for one minute. 30 seconds is too long sometimes. I struggle all day. I am so tired from a life time of concentrating on everyone...

new member · mr5191

New to board and new to Al-Anon. Attended my first meeting last week and it was nice to finally meet people who are going through or have gone through what I have. Typical story. Married 14 years to my wife and have 3 kids. She probably has been an alcoholic for a while but I guess I always ignored the si...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All - Some might recall that I shared a while back about attending Al-Anon meetings with my sister who has been in AA for several decades. I'm here to give those who are interested an update on how that is going. Initially, I was a bit disappointed that my sister began attending meetings with me. I f...

Evian · Evian

This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I...

Diva · Diva

I've just learned how to handle myself. Does it hurt? Does it anger me? Yep. Do I dwell? I do not. Wishing all of you happiness and peace, Diva

dean · dean

This is my first post. I have been married 21 years tomorrow to a once, wonderful lady, but over the past 7-8 years, she turned to alcohol. It has been a long road with her having no real desire to do treatment. This past Holiday, I decided to separate from her and file for divorce. She has been in and ou...

parfait624 · parfait624

Today I am frustrated.....my dry ABF and I took a break this winter, for about two 1/2 months. About a month ago we started communicating again. He has an issue with gambling but like when he was drinking he is a functioning gambler, bills get paid etc. Poker replaced drinking and eventually like no...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we have had a good few abusive arguments and two weeks ago we were going to split up, until we both got so upset that we decided to give it another go, he promised he would change although he did blame me for the argument, saying I sided with my family...

tommyecat · tommyecat

The following is taken from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011 from WSO: How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life? We can easily recognize how alcohol affects he drinker. It's not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker's behavior has affected them. These...

member922 · member922

I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board). He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how w...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So its been a few weeks since I've been on this site. The reason being is that I finally got a full time teaching posiiton and I also work at a restaurant a few night a week. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I barely have time to make it to face to face meetings and I am feeling really guilty about it and falling...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I received the following in an email when I first began my journey of recovery. I thought how does one do this? Years later, I now know Alanon has taught me how. I hope you all enjoy. Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify w...

likemyheart · likemyheart

A woman three blocks away from where I live was murdered last night by her substance abusing estranged husband, then he rolled his car down a hill in a high speed pursuit, was ejected and flown to the big city via helicopter and whether or not he makes it is anybodys guess. When I told my AH (in a text) he res...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Found this on Codependency and thought I'd share with anyone else learning about this topic too. It's quite scary but helpful to learn about ourselves in this process. This is not Al Anon material, but was helpful to me when I read it. Characteristics of Codependency *************************...

Evian · Evian

I saw AH the other day... he went through detox and is now going through the rehab. He is still convinced that he has no problem. Oh well.. his problem, not mine. He said something that I couldn't believe. He told me.. "Well, you have to change too.. you have to learn that when I've had a couple beers n...

peacewithin · peacewithin

This family disease really sucks. My oldest son never returns my calls, he never called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. It just hurts me so much. Then when I see him he acts like nothing it wrong. I feel like Hes got the perfect behavior of an Acoholic in many ways can this happen? I feel like the victim I get...

Jozie · Jozie

You know, I have been trying to get back in tune on a respectable Level with my HP here lately, and tho never from from my thoughts, I have be trying to see & notice things that have been apart of my moods, and emotions, things that help... things that do not... I found a Weird Connection with Clothes to...

Kate_P · Kate_P

Hi I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past wit...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I didn't get to go to the meeting last night, when we got home, my son's needed some mom time after supper. So instead of a meeting, we took a walk, we played at the play ground near by, and we laughed a lot. It was actually really nice. I felt that I needed the time with them. I am on here this morning askin...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I love to go to an early Saturday morning Alanon meeting at 8.30 AM. The reason why I go walking in with wet hair, fresh out of the shower is because of the years of solid recovery in that room. So many people with forty plus years of recovery are there and say the darndest things such as this past week. &q...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I just replied to another post with this joke I heard in the Alanon rooms. It just tickles me so much I wanted to share it with all of you. P.S., God is showing off today! >>>>>>>HERE IS A JOKE TO LIGHTEN THE SPONSOR LOAD<<<<<<<<<< A man in a ho...

member922 · member922

Hi Gang. I always feel bad when I get this way and it's hard for me to offer support, yet I come here begging for it. So I told the abf that we really need some time apart, not just a breather for a week, but a decent amount of time to work on ourselves and see if we really miss each other and want to be together. ...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I found my own meeting for tonight and I am going. Its open and so bf asked if he could join me. He went to his own meetings over the weekend with the guy he spoke with Friday night and Saturday morning. I think something is changing in me and maybe in him as well. I feel as if a weight has been lifted, and I...

ythannah · ythannah

I've had a pretty smooth ride of it, not having to use my "active" (as I think of them) Al-Anon tools because my ABF has been sober. So last week he got a sore throat with a bad cough -- it's pretty bad, I got it a couple days later, and it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades -- and decided to take...

DanH · DanH

I just found this site last weekend, and everyone support has been truly great. But I feel incredibly guilty because my friend hurt himself on Thursday night/Friday morning after getting behind the wheel. Long story short, I've tried reaching out to him about his drinking, he's lied about seeing a t...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son called last night. It was rather early but for some reason I was asleep in bed and didn't even hear the phone ring in my room. That's a first! My husband told me this morning that he called and was drunk. He was getting ready to go to sleep IN HIS TRUCK! That would have completely ruined my good night'...

Otie · Otie

Hi. I am feeling so miserable this morning and badly need to talk to someone about it. Since my husband unexpectedly died recently, I have had many people making requests of me since I live in a large house with lots of storage space. They have requested to live here while "getting on their fee...

clep · clep

My A is consistently asking me what is wrong. I mean numerous times a day. If I am thinking about something that has to do with me and just me, I may look like I am thiking. He has to know about what. If what I say doesn't sound believable enough he questions me about it. Basically he will only accept an a...

Gailey · Gailey

I am so dissatisfied with my life! I don't like my homelife with my husband. I don't like my job or my co-workers and I am even having a hard time with my siblings. My kids are a given..... The past few years my husband has distance himself from me for whatever reason. I don't even care anymore. We are buyi...

glad lee · glad lee

Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes. I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow. I trust that, in the future, I will not...

sienna · sienna

My life has been completely devastated. I went to meetings, I set boundaries and stuck to them, I eventually asked him to move out if he continued to drink and drive. I have been doing the work on my own recovery for 7 years and was feeling good about myself and how well I was doing not enabling him any lon...

atheos · atheos

Everybody always shares positive things... even when it's something really bad, they're positive about it, and how the program has helped them with it. Right now, I am barely clinging to hope by my fingernails, and every day seems worse than the last. But I don't want to bring down the mood of the meeti...

oldergal · oldergal

What should you look for in a sponsor, and what makes a good sponsee? -- Edited by oldergal on Friday 6th of May 2011 10:33:47 PM

Loupiness · Loupiness

I feel good that I've had enough holidays since my exAH left now, that I am able to make them whatever I want. Spent the day with my younger two, brought sandwiches to my parents, went on a walk. ExAH sent me a text and dropped off a card. I accepted them as the nice gestures they were. Over all, it was sim...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mother's Day during the journey...My Mom is a memory today. She passed away years ago and was part of my recovery journey...She was one of 6 daughters of an alcoholic abusive life and carried the affects with her. One sister became alcoholic, one left the family to become a Nun, 3 others (including...

youfoundme · youfoundme

It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not...

Aimee · Aimee

I just finished step 5 with my sponsor yesterday and words can't describe how I feel, but I'll try . I keep thinking, maybe this has worked for some people but it isn't going to work for me. I've always been a very cynical person, the glass is always half-empty. I've been proven wrong ever single step so fa...

Fordsmom · Fordsmom

Hello all! I am new to the forum. I typed "pity party" and "al-anon" into my search engine and here I am. I am so terribly frustrated today. My husband sat on the couch all morning and didn't do a thing to help with the kids. I cleaned and took care of them and then he announced tha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Alcoholic Wife Takes My Inventory (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've been reading here for months, but this is my first post. I've been attending alanon meetings for almost 18 months and have been working the steps with a sponsor for about 6 months. My wife is two weeks shy of having one year's sobriety. She's in program, working the steps, and is gon...	surfingmaestro	16	1406	May 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	What I am meditating on today (Preview) Got a nudge to share the readings that I am choosing to find my personal meaning in today. "Meaning-centered people do not try to control the moment but instead live in it. ... By stepping into and living within the moment, we get some seperation from on perspective on time. By living in the mome...	Jennifer	3	555	May 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Time Article about Addiction from 2007 (Preview) Time article about addiction. How it affects the BRAINhttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html-- Edited by suave75 on Sunday 15th of May 2011 02:19:36 PM	suave75	2	452	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Weekend Update Anyone?? (Preview) So I have stayed the course not communicating with the abf. Spent last evening watching tv and pretty much relaxing. Today, my son has a tball game. Then no plans, as well as for tomorrow. I am very happy to have the drama of weekend fighting, out of my life for now. I was invited to a tentative coffee d...	member922	16	686	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Passing It On, Prayer shared in a meeting (Preview) This prayer was shared at my 8.30 AM meeting today. I thought it was good stuff so I am passing it on. Hope you all enjoy! PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR Father, Thou knowest I am growing older. Keep me from becoming talkative, and possessed with the idea that I must express myself on every subject. Release...	tommyecat	10	976	May 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Of all the stupid reasons to freak out... (Preview) My face-to-face meeting divides into tables in separate rooms. One of the rooms has a storage closet. My table finished first, and as I was leaving, a man who is not in Al-Anon asked me to go into the room with the storage closet (where people were still meeting) and get something for him (I think he wante...	atheos	11	708	May 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	disease on attack (Preview) I have not seen my sober ABF for a month, we have had one or two conversations but not much contact as I had hit my rock bottom and he was also feeling weak in his recovery, he has been sober for 8an a half months he was sober six months las time. he came to my sons 18th on friday we were very civil we acted normal...	Tracy	3	451	May 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	heart squished...again (Preview) Hi everyone, So I told my AH that I would be moving out. Naturally he cried and carrried on. The next day at church he had this break-through revelation about how he needs to change his life. The day after that he confessed to me what he had been doing wrong as far as his shady addictive behavior goes. (I al...	lyn46	10	654	May 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Relapse? (Preview) I see the word relapse used a lot. In my thinking, relapse is what happens when you are truly working a program and trying to be straight and sober but something happens to drag you back down. My AH has not been sober mixed with relapses in my opinion - when he is not drinking he is doing so to prove to me that h...	likemyheart	6	651	May 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Angry (Preview) I am angry not sure if it's at my self or him. Hate is all I feel can't express this to him because he is happy to be sober n it's 2 mths sober n he is on step 4. He knows every thing I try at times to talk but I am consumed with anger. I love him n hate at same time. Want to run as I do always. Tired pissed n feed up. What'...	Toricross	4	592	May 14, 2011 by Toricross
	Interventions (Preview) I have a question on interventions. First a little background. My Abf has been attending AA meetings, working the steps ,and has abstained from drinking since november of 2007. However, he did continue to smoke pot. As a dry drunk his sickness has caused us to have many issues over the last four ye...	parfait624	7	677	May 14, 2011 by parfait624
	taking some action (Preview) I have decided that I am going to confront the mother of my son's friend, whom i am certain is supplying my son with pot and cigarettes, and at the very least, which is undisputable, allowing and supporting such unhealthy and illegal behavior in minors. I am pretty sure she may have a medical marijuana l...	Loupiness	6	430	May 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Behaviors (Preview) I will admit my ah behavior is fascinating he went from being a dry drunk of two months to a drunk in few hours ! He went from being miserable and depressed to a charming happy man he never was sober because he denies having a problem. I am detached from this now I am just observing. My daughter for the first t...	Crazy Frog	3	643	May 14, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Wondering if anyone else has encountered this (Preview) I am living with my boyfriend who, as it turns out, is addicted to vicodin. I grew up with my parents being drug addicts and am very used to relapse and dissapointment. Boyfriend has gone through rehab and it seemed to change his view on life. He is optomistic and striving to be responsible and, as far as I...	Sydkidney	8	491	May 14, 2011 by oldergal
	Frightening! (Preview) Last evening, after another full day of drinking his drink of choice, gin, he began threatening to kill people. I was dumbfounded. Raving, throwing furniture, and completely out of control. I left him alone, went to another part of the house, and after a while he calmed down and went to bed. I don'...	Diva	10	559	May 13, 2011 by Diva
	Went to alanon meeting last night :) (Preview) Figured out all the logistics, got myself to a meeting and I am so glad I did! It was a good meeting on resentments. I shared a little about me being there on my knees and not knowing WHAT to do anymore. I shared about my situation too. I got lots of kind words and smiles, imagine that! People kindly smi...	youfoundme	4	497	May 13, 2011 by wp
	i am done with my AH/marriage....do i keep going to Al Anon? (Preview) i've posted a few times - i'm very new to the board and Al Anon but not the disease. i am married to a highly intelligent, high functioning alcoholic. but over the last year or so...the cracks are starting to affect even his job and his ability to provide. long story short....i came home monday to a for...	Georgia	11	478	May 13, 2011 by clep
	Letting go of resentments (Preview) Hi! I'm not sure how to ask this so I'll do my best and hopefully it will make some sense. I am working the steps with my sponsor and I am feeling so good lately. I have done 4, 5, and 6 reciently and one of my biggest things was dealing with my resentments and fears surrounding my AH's infidelity. I feel like I...	Aimee	6	3621	May 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	new here & have some questions (Preview) im new to al anon (went to one f2f last week & have been reading the posts here for about a week also). im married to an alcoholic who just relapsed at easter after 5 months sober, and my dad is a (mostly functioning) alcoholic. im not sure where to start.. my dah is out at our friends farm drinking righ...	laura dene	3	496	May 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Question on Making Amends (Preview) Hello: I have a question; I would like to hear particularly from those who have been in Al-Anon for at least three or more years and have worked the steps thouroughly, at least once. Question: Is it wise to admit to the active alcoholic the wrongful attempts/strategies I used (in the past) to get him to s...	GailMichelle	12	3291	May 12, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Guilt and remorse--Yes? No? Depends...? (Preview) Hi everyone. I could sure use some input on a subject very close to my heart right now. I have done lots of reading and get what appears conflicting explainations, depending on the source. Does the A/addict ever feel remorse for the pain that they inflct upon their loved ones?? On one hand, some say th...	Otie	14	5773	May 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	Need suggestions on detaching after breakup and moving on (Preview) Me and my exabf broke up months and months ago. I'm not going to go into the details bc it will just piss me off. Anywho, he treated me awful, lied, cheated, stole from me, called me crazy,etc. during our long dysfunctional relationship. My question is he treated me horribly broke-up with me like I never...	Stillalive2dream	8	1763	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	My drug of choice (Preview) Is my qualifier. My abf. My sweet abf who is really a great person inside...he is the one I am obsessed with and addicted to. My sickness is so great that I can't focus on me for one minute. 30 seconds is too long sometimes. I struggle all day. I am so tired from a life time of concentrating on everyone...	youfoundme	7	527	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	new member (Preview) New to board and new to Al-Anon. Attended my first meeting last week and it was nice to finally meet people who are going through or have gone through what I have. Typical story. Married 14 years to my wife and have 3 kids. She probably has been an alcoholic for a while but I guess I always ignored the si...	mr5191	8	421	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Attending Meetings w/My Alcoholic Sister (Preview) Hi All - Some might recall that I shared a while back about attending Al-Anon meetings with my sister who has been in AA for several decades. I'm here to give those who are interested an update on how that is going. Initially, I was a bit disappointed that my sister began attending meetings with me. I f...	GailMichelle	4	558	May 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Feeling the frustration, taking deep breaths and saying the Serenity Prayer (Preview) This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I...	Evian	4	804	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Nothing's changed here.... (Preview) I've just learned how to handle myself. Does it hurt? Does it anger me? Yep. Do I dwell? I do not. Wishing all of you happiness and peace, Diva	Diva	5	664	May 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Wife in hospital (Preview) This is my first post. I have been married 21 years tomorrow to a once, wonderful lady, but over the past 7-8 years, she turned to alcohol. It has been a long road with her having no real desire to do treatment. This past Holiday, I decided to separate from her and file for divorce. She has been in and ou...	dean	5	673	May 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Games (Preview) Today I am frustrated.....my dry ABF and I took a break this winter, for about two 1/2 months. About a month ago we started communicating again. He has an issue with gambling but like when he was drinking he is a functioning gambler, bills get paid etc. Poker replaced drinking and eventually like no...	parfait624	5	2729	May 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Boyfriend is depressed (Preview) I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we have had a good few abusive arguments and two weeks ago we were going to split up, until we both got so upset that we decided to give it another go, he promised he would change although he did blame me for the argument, saying I sided with my family...	Jules1011	4	525	May 11, 2011 by hotrod
	How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life (Preview) The following is taken from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011 from WSO: How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life? We can easily recognize how alcohol affects he drinker. It's not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker's behavior has affected them. These...	tommyecat	1	454	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	The Agreement (Preview) I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board). He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how w...	member922	6	538	May 11, 2011 by member922
	Looking for experiences (Preview) So its been a few weeks since I've been on this site. The reason being is that I finally got a full time teaching posiiton and I also work at a restaurant a few night a week. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I barely have time to make it to face to face meetings and I am feeling really guilty about it and falling...	Corgi2	5	552	May 11, 2011 by Tracy
	Property Lines (Preview) I received the following in an email when I first began my journey of recovery. I thought how does one do this? Years later, I now know Alanon has taught me how. I hope you all enjoy. Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify w...	tommyecat	3	395	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Violence close to home (Preview) A woman three blocks away from where I live was murdered last night by her substance abusing estranged husband, then he rolled his car down a hill in a high speed pursuit, was ejected and flown to the big city via helicopter and whether or not he makes it is anybodys guess. When I told my AH (in a text) he res...	likemyheart	3	579	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Codependency (Preview) Found this on Codependency and thought I'd share with anyone else learning about this topic too. It's quite scary but helpful to learn about ourselves in this process. This is not Al Anon material, but was helpful to me when I read it. Characteristics of Codependency *************************...	roonpugs	5	6000	May 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	And so it continues (Preview) I saw AH the other day... he went through detox and is now going through the rehab. He is still convinced that he has no problem. Oh well.. his problem, not mine. He said something that I couldn't believe. He told me.. "Well, you have to change too.. you have to learn that when I've had a couple beers n...	Evian	3	405	May 11, 2011 by Evian
	SAD (Preview) This family disease really sucks. My oldest son never returns my calls, he never called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. It just hurts me so much. Then when I see him he acts like nothing it wrong. I feel like Hes got the perfect behavior of an Acoholic in many ways can this happen? I feel like the victim I get...	peacewithin	9	959	May 10, 2011 by likemyheart
	Isn't it Strange... ;0) (Preview) You know, I have been trying to get back in tune on a respectable Level with my HP here lately, and tho never from from my thoughts, I have be trying to see & notice things that have been apart of my moods, and emotions, things that help... things that do not... I found a Weird Connection with Clothes to...	Jozie	6	626	May 10, 2011 by pineapple
	New to the board and going back to Al-Anon (Preview) Hi I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past wit...	Kate_P	4	544	May 10, 2011 by Kate_P
	What do you tell your kids about going to a meeting? (Preview) I didn't get to go to the meeting last night, when we got home, my son's needed some mom time after supper. So instead of a meeting, we took a walk, we played at the play ground near by, and we laughed a lot. It was actually really nice. I felt that I needed the time with them. I am on here this morning askin...	youfoundme	11	814	May 10, 2011 by Tracy
	Heard in a meeting (Preview) I love to go to an early Saturday morning Alanon meeting at 8.30 AM. The reason why I go walking in with wet hair, fresh out of the shower is because of the years of solid recovery in that room. So many people with forty plus years of recovery are there and say the darndest things such as this past week. *&q...*	tommyecat	7	540	May 10, 2011 by RLC
	Sponsorship Joke (Preview) I just replied to another post with this joke I heard in the Alanon rooms. It just tickles me so much I wanted to share it with all of you. *P.S., God is showing off today!* >>>>>>>HERE IS A JOKE TO LIGHTEN THE SPONSOR LOAD<<<<<<<<<< A man in a ho...	tommyecat	6	3508	May 10, 2011 by member922
	Same old post... (Preview) Hi Gang. I always feel bad when I get this way and it's hard for me to offer support, yet I come here begging for it. So I told the abf that we really need some time apart, not just a breather for a week, but a decent amount of time to work on ourselves and see if we really miss each other and want to be together. ...	member922	9	653	May 10, 2011 by member922
	Tonight is open alanon for me :) (Preview) I found my own meeting for tonight and I am going. Its open and so bf asked if he could join me. He went to his own meetings over the weekend with the guy he spoke with Friday night and Saturday morning. I think something is changing in me and maybe in him as well. I feel as if a weight has been lifted, and I...	youfoundme	5	669	May 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	16 Months Sober and Now a Relapse (Preview) I've had a pretty smooth ride of it, not having to use my "active" (as I think of them) Al-Anon tools because my ABF has been sober. So last week he got a sore throat with a bad cough -- it's pretty bad, I got it a couple days later, and it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades -- and decided to take...	ythannah	10	1282	May 10, 2011 by ythannah
	my friend got in a car accident after driving, and I feel the guilt... (Preview) I just found this site last weekend, and everyone support has been truly great. But I feel incredibly guilty because my friend hurt himself on Thursday night/Friday morning after getting behind the wheel. Long story short, I've tried reaching out to him about his drinking, he's lied about seeing a t...	DanH	7	1412	May 10, 2011 by Karilynn
	thank God I didn't hear the phone last night (Preview) My A son called last night. It was rather early but for some reason I was asleep in bed and didn't even hear the phone ring in my room. That's a first! My husband told me this morning that he called and was drunk. He was getting ready to go to sleep IN HIS TRUCK! That would have completely ruined my good night'...	Gailey	4	718	May 10, 2011 by Karilynn
	Has Anyone Faced This? (Preview) Hi. I am feeling so miserable this morning and badly need to talk to someone about it. Since my husband unexpectedly died recently, I have had many people making requests of me since I live in a large house with lots of storage space. They have requested to live here while "getting on their fee...	Otie	10	752	May 10, 2011 by Otie
	Need a one liner or twelve. (Preview) My A is consistently asking me what is wrong. I mean numerous times a day. If I am thinking about something that has to do with me and just me, I may look like I am thiking. He has to know about what. If what I say doesn't sound believable enough he questions me about it. Basically he will only accept an a...	clep	15	812	May 9, 2011 by glad lee
	do you find it hard being with just yourself? (Preview) I am so dissatisfied with my life! I don't like my homelife with my husband. I don't like my job or my co-workers and I am even having a hard time with my siblings. My kids are a given..... The past few years my husband has distance himself from me for whatever reason. I don't even care anymore. We are buyi...	Gailey	14	560	May 9, 2011 by Aloha
	Today's thought - I have made mistakes (Preview) Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes. I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow. I trust that, in the future, I will not...	glad lee	8	1295	May 9, 2011 by member922
	I should have thought twice about staying married to an A (Preview) My life has been completely devastated. I went to meetings, I set boundaries and stuck to them, I eventually asked him to move out if he continued to drink and drive. I have been doing the work on my own recovery for 7 years and was feeling good about myself and how well I was doing not enabling him any lon...	sienna	16	959	May 9, 2011 by member922
	I'm having trouble talking at meetings (Preview) Everybody always shares positive things... even when it's something really bad, they're positive about it, and how the program has helped them with it. Right now, I am barely clinging to hope by my fingernails, and every day seems worse than the last. But I don't want to bring down the mood of the meeti...	atheos	13	1085	May 9, 2011 by clep
	Sponsor/Sponsee relationships (Preview) What should you look for in a sponsor, and what makes a good sponsee? -- Edited by oldergal on Friday 6th of May 2011 10:33:47 PM	oldergal	4	1164	May 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	fighting me (Preview) I feel good that I've had enough holidays since my exAH left now, that I am able to make them whatever I want. Spent the day with my younger two, brought sandwiches to my parents, went on a walk. ExAH sent me a text and dropped off a card. I accepted them as the nice gestures they were. Over all, it was sim...	Loupiness	5	649	May 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Mother's Days (Preview) Mother's Day during the journey...My Mom is a memory today. She passed away years ago and was part of my recovery journey...She was one of 6 daughters of an alcoholic abusive life and carried the affects with her. One sister became alcoholic, one left the family to become a Nun, 3 others (including...	Jerry F	9	558	May 9, 2011 by Jozie
	Went to open AA last night (Preview) It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not...	youfoundme	5	708	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	There is a solution! (Preview) I just finished step 5 with my sponsor yesterday and words can't describe how I feel, but I'll try . I keep thinking, maybe this has worked for some people but it isn't going to work for me. I've always been a very cynical person, the glass is always half-empty. I've been proven wrong ever single step so fa...	Aimee	4	612	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	New and hosting my own pity party (Preview) Hello all! I am new to the forum. I typed "pity party" and "al-anon" into my search engine and here I am. I am so terribly frustrated today. My husband sat on the couch all morning and didn't do a thing to help with the kids. I cleaned and took care of them and then he announced tha...	Fordsmom	4	608	May 8, 2011 by roonpugs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.