Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Evian · Evian

This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I...

Diva · Diva

I've just learned how to handle myself. Does it hurt? Does it anger me? Yep. Do I dwell? I do not. Wishing all of you happiness and peace, Diva

dean · dean

This is my first post. I have been married 21 years tomorrow to a once, wonderful lady, but over the past 7-8 years, she turned to alcohol. It has been a long road with her having no real desire to do treatment. This past Holiday, I decided to separate from her and file for divorce. She has been in and ou...

parfait624 · parfait624

Today I am frustrated.....my dry ABF and I took a break this winter, for about two 1/2 months. About a month ago we started communicating again. He has an issue with gambling but like when he was drinking he is a functioning gambler, bills get paid etc. Poker replaced drinking and eventually like no...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we have had a good few abusive arguments and two weeks ago we were going to split up, until we both got so upset that we decided to give it another go, he promised he would change although he did blame me for the argument, saying I sided with my family...

tommyecat · tommyecat

The following is taken from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011 from WSO: How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life? We can easily recognize how alcohol affects he drinker. It's not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker's behavior has affected them. These...

member922 · member922

I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board). He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how w...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So its been a few weeks since I've been on this site. The reason being is that I finally got a full time teaching posiiton and I also work at a restaurant a few night a week. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I barely have time to make it to face to face meetings and I am feeling really guilty about it and falling...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I received the following in an email when I first began my journey of recovery. I thought how does one do this? Years later, I now know Alanon has taught me how. I hope you all enjoy. Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify w...

likemyheart · likemyheart

A woman three blocks away from where I live was murdered last night by her substance abusing estranged husband, then he rolled his car down a hill in a high speed pursuit, was ejected and flown to the big city via helicopter and whether or not he makes it is anybodys guess. When I told my AH (in a text) he res...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Found this on Codependency and thought I'd share with anyone else learning about this topic too. It's quite scary but helpful to learn about ourselves in this process. This is not Al Anon material, but was helpful to me when I read it. Characteristics of Codependency *************************...

Evian · Evian

I saw AH the other day... he went through detox and is now going through the rehab. He is still convinced that he has no problem. Oh well.. his problem, not mine. He said something that I couldn't believe. He told me.. "Well, you have to change too.. you have to learn that when I've had a couple beers n...

peacewithin · peacewithin

This family disease really sucks. My oldest son never returns my calls, he never called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. It just hurts me so much. Then when I see him he acts like nothing it wrong. I feel like Hes got the perfect behavior of an Acoholic in many ways can this happen? I feel like the victim I get...

Jozie · Jozie

You know, I have been trying to get back in tune on a respectable Level with my HP here lately, and tho never from from my thoughts, I have be trying to see & notice things that have been apart of my moods, and emotions, things that help... things that do not... I found a Weird Connection with Clothes to...

Kate_P · Kate_P

Hi I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past wit...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I didn't get to go to the meeting last night, when we got home, my son's needed some mom time after supper. So instead of a meeting, we took a walk, we played at the play ground near by, and we laughed a lot. It was actually really nice. I felt that I needed the time with them. I am on here this morning askin...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I love to go to an early Saturday morning Alanon meeting at 8.30 AM. The reason why I go walking in with wet hair, fresh out of the shower is because of the years of solid recovery in that room. So many people with forty plus years of recovery are there and say the darndest things such as this past week. &q...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I just replied to another post with this joke I heard in the Alanon rooms. It just tickles me so much I wanted to share it with all of you. P.S., God is showing off today! >>>>>>>HERE IS A JOKE TO LIGHTEN THE SPONSOR LOAD<<<<<<<<<< A man in a ho...

member922 · member922

Hi Gang. I always feel bad when I get this way and it's hard for me to offer support, yet I come here begging for it. So I told the abf that we really need some time apart, not just a breather for a week, but a decent amount of time to work on ourselves and see if we really miss each other and want to be together. ...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I found my own meeting for tonight and I am going. Its open and so bf asked if he could join me. He went to his own meetings over the weekend with the guy he spoke with Friday night and Saturday morning. I think something is changing in me and maybe in him as well. I feel as if a weight has been lifted, and I...

ythannah · ythannah

I've had a pretty smooth ride of it, not having to use my "active" (as I think of them) Al-Anon tools because my ABF has been sober. So last week he got a sore throat with a bad cough -- it's pretty bad, I got it a couple days later, and it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades -- and decided to take...

DanH · DanH

I just found this site last weekend, and everyone support has been truly great. But I feel incredibly guilty because my friend hurt himself on Thursday night/Friday morning after getting behind the wheel. Long story short, I've tried reaching out to him about his drinking, he's lied about seeing a t...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son called last night. It was rather early but for some reason I was asleep in bed and didn't even hear the phone ring in my room. That's a first! My husband told me this morning that he called and was drunk. He was getting ready to go to sleep IN HIS TRUCK! That would have completely ruined my good night'...

Otie · Otie

Hi. I am feeling so miserable this morning and badly need to talk to someone about it. Since my husband unexpectedly died recently, I have had many people making requests of me since I live in a large house with lots of storage space. They have requested to live here while "getting on their fee...

clep · clep

My A is consistently asking me what is wrong. I mean numerous times a day. If I am thinking about something that has to do with me and just me, I may look like I am thiking. He has to know about what. If what I say doesn't sound believable enough he questions me about it. Basically he will only accept an a...

Gailey · Gailey

I am so dissatisfied with my life! I don't like my homelife with my husband. I don't like my job or my co-workers and I am even having a hard time with my siblings. My kids are a given..... The past few years my husband has distance himself from me for whatever reason. I don't even care anymore. We are buyi...

glad lee · glad lee

Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes. I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow. I trust that, in the future, I will not...

sienna · sienna

My life has been completely devastated. I went to meetings, I set boundaries and stuck to them, I eventually asked him to move out if he continued to drink and drive. I have been doing the work on my own recovery for 7 years and was feeling good about myself and how well I was doing not enabling him any lon...

atheos · atheos

Everybody always shares positive things... even when it's something really bad, they're positive about it, and how the program has helped them with it. Right now, I am barely clinging to hope by my fingernails, and every day seems worse than the last. But I don't want to bring down the mood of the meeti...

oldergal · oldergal

What should you look for in a sponsor, and what makes a good sponsee? -- Edited by oldergal on Friday 6th of May 2011 10:33:47 PM

Loupiness · Loupiness

I feel good that I've had enough holidays since my exAH left now, that I am able to make them whatever I want. Spent the day with my younger two, brought sandwiches to my parents, went on a walk. ExAH sent me a text and dropped off a card. I accepted them as the nice gestures they were. Over all, it was sim...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mother's Day during the journey...My Mom is a memory today. She passed away years ago and was part of my recovery journey...She was one of 6 daughters of an alcoholic abusive life and carried the affects with her. One sister became alcoholic, one left the family to become a Nun, 3 others (including...

youfoundme · youfoundme

It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not...

Aimee · Aimee

I just finished step 5 with my sponsor yesterday and words can't describe how I feel, but I'll try . I keep thinking, maybe this has worked for some people but it isn't going to work for me. I've always been a very cynical person, the glass is always half-empty. I've been proven wrong ever single step so fa...

Fordsmom · Fordsmom

Hello all! I am new to the forum. I typed "pity party" and "al-anon" into my search engine and here I am. I am so terribly frustrated today. My husband sat on the couch all morning and didn't do a thing to help with the kids. I cleaned and took care of them and then he announced tha...

Otie · Otie

I saw Dick Van Dyke being interviewed a couple of times this week in the popular media. He spoke of sliding into "functional addiction" earlier into his career "about 10yrs. worth" He said that he was painfilly shy and began using alcohol to overcome this. He says that he was...

RLC · RLC

I am proud and almost have a feeling of guilt after read others post today. I was truly blessed and grateful to have a Mother (and Father) who raised me right, was always there for me, and led me in the right direction. For that I will always be thankful. My Mother left this world ten years ago to be in a bette...

Tracy · Tracy

My sober ABF rang this morning very uspset he said he could not believe how selfish I am being and never wants to talk to me again. he said I have been like a dad to the kids I want to go to the 18th. My son has also said its my prob and he wants my ex there. even my brother who doesnt want me with him said he shoul...

member922 · member922

Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful mother's day. It is a nice day here. My children gave me beautiful gifts, one homemade, one store bought. I was supposed to receive breakfast in bed lol, but one of them is still in bed herself . I appreciate my mom as well. She lives far away and I miss her very mu...

denver_co · denver_co

6 months ago I moved out of the house I lived in with my ABF. I am on the title, the mortgage. 5 months ago I stopped going to F2F alanon meetings. Many reasons for this, none of which matter really. My ABF and I were still 'seeing' each other all this time. Meanwhile, my boundaries are getting more and m...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I grew up in an alcoholic home. There was violence physical, emotional and verbal abuse. My father was the alcoholic, a daily drunk but always home by 4.30, dinner on the table by 5 PM and passed out by 6.30 in his easy chair, cigarette burning in hand with the local news station on. My dad and I got alo...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the meeting on Monday as I will be out of town that day. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks

lyn46 · lyn46

Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Lyn..my husband is an addict. We are going on 10 years of marriage, but are facing a seperation due to his addiction. Something has to give. I can't take the decietfulness. Its like I'm living in his fantasy world where nothing is true. It seems t...

Tracy · Tracy

I rang my sober ex ABf once I carmed down. I told him I was experiencing a hard time looking at me he understood as he is in recovery. I told him it was not personal but I was not strong enough for him to come to my sons 18th. He said o.k. I said I will most prob contact you when I do step nine afet making amends...

member922 · member922

I have to come clean to somebody. I was drinking last night. I called the abf and screamed my head off at him about everything rotten that he ever said and did to me. Pretty pathetic. I did apologize today via email, but we basically agreed last night that our relationship is pretty much over. I have kn...

Aloha · Aloha

My mom is my bloodline qualifier in my life. To this very day, I still struggle with some part inside of me that just does NOT want to open up and forgive. When I look at it, I think I see a very scared, confused child that tried to understand what on earth was going on with Mom. My mom got sober when I was about t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have been really having a serene, good time living now. Had some thoughts today that just sorta all gathered together. Been probaly 9 years now since the ex AH and I still had a connection. 9 years of me not having a mate again. last time, when first husband died it was 18+ years. My Mother died in 2000. An...

Katy · Katy

Sure does, I have been focussing heavily on my hubbie again, and guess what? I got drunk, I isolated and I sat licking my wounds and I really don't like that place anymore, on my bad days I can say quite honestly well I have every right to feel like this, but thats my choice, progress right there, my awarene...

Tracy · Tracy

the topic at our meeting tonight was obsession. I shared honestly that I am obsessed by many things it was the drinkers drinking, then when he got sober it was his life. Lately we have not seen each other but I am still sick my mind hurts from all the obsessive thinking, I even obsess in my s;leep. This i...

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I have more than one alcoholic roommate. I have been so tangled up in reacting to them most of the time that I'm not able to be detached. Lately things have been a bit quieter and probably most of that is my state of mind. Lately in the cold light of day I can see an alcoholic for what they ar...

shannah · shannah

My crazy alcoholic ex owes me a substantial amount of money. As I had him sign papers, I sent him a credit collector, who was unsuccessful. Then a lawyer.He called me pretending he would pay me back a small amount each month that would take 5 years!!!!!!And that he refuses to go thoruhg my lawyer and star...

tommyecat · tommyecat

With Mother's Day right around the corner, I thought I would share laugh with the forum. Perhaps you would recognize some of these one liners. I certainly do. This was passed on to me years ago, I hope you enjoy it too. Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Things My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me T...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

My ex-abf told me I was crazy anytime I confronted him on his bad behavior. I really think he enjoyed rallying his family and friends around him convincing him that I was the sick crazy one after all and he is perfect. He could cheat,lie, drink, do drugs, etc. and in their eyes he's perfect but heaven forb...

Aimee · Aimee

I just found out this morning that my AH had an affair at the begining of our marriage. I already knew about two other one night stands that had happened during his relapse in the recient past but had no idea about this on going affair he had 11 years ago. I had been in a great place before this morning, the ha...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I decided for Mother's Day I will realize my Mother gave me what she could from where she came from and I love her for it. I will forgive her and let go of the not so good from my childhood and embrace the joys to let me off the hook as much as for her. I will love her through her dysfunctions and show her compass...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

hi,im back in my same a/d relationship agin ,i love him he is trying last few times he has come to visit he isnt tanked up on nothing,he says he is quitting it all for me and himself mostly,but he sounded messed up on ph.earlier im not answering his calls cause i refuse to put up with him tanked up on enything...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Oh dear - Daughter has just texted me: - "I can't talk on the phone at the mo but I've been really worried about (Partner). he doesn't sleep - he only eats when I make him and he's down all the time". (He did have a problem last year when he was sacked from his job. He has another very good job now but...

Georgia · Georgia

still fairly new to everything it seems - not just this board. 3 weeks of al anon meetings and i am already beginning to feel like a different person. a much happier, healthier person. i had "the" conversation with AH about 3 1/2 weeks ago - the one where i confronted him with his alcoholis...

Katy · Katy

I thought when I entered alanon I would just get it and that would be that, CURED! BUT? there is just soso much I need to get, I must confess I am still doing the same old same old and not expecting different results but, questioning myself, why am I still doing this when I know what the outcome will be, when I...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I received this book yesterday and am going to start it tonight. I had 2 people tell me it was awesome and wondered if anyone has read this and has anything to say. I also received Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. and wondered if these impacted anyone and if anyone has more books to add to my l...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling the frustration, taking deep breaths and saying the Serenity Prayer (Preview) This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I...	Evian	4	762	May 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Nothing's changed here.... (Preview) I've just learned how to handle myself. Does it hurt? Does it anger me? Yep. Do I dwell? I do not. Wishing all of you happiness and peace, Diva	Diva	5	614	May 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Wife in hospital (Preview) This is my first post. I have been married 21 years tomorrow to a once, wonderful lady, but over the past 7-8 years, she turned to alcohol. It has been a long road with her having no real desire to do treatment. This past Holiday, I decided to separate from her and file for divorce. She has been in and ou...	dean	5	615	May 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Games (Preview) Today I am frustrated.....my dry ABF and I took a break this winter, for about two 1/2 months. About a month ago we started communicating again. He has an issue with gambling but like when he was drinking he is a functioning gambler, bills get paid etc. Poker replaced drinking and eventually like no...	parfait624	5	2573	May 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Boyfriend is depressed (Preview) I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we have had a good few abusive arguments and two weeks ago we were going to split up, until we both got so upset that we decided to give it another go, he promised he would change although he did blame me for the argument, saying I sided with my family...	Jules1011	4	476	May 11, 2011 by hotrod
	How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life (Preview) The following is taken from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011 from WSO: How can I recognize the effects of someone else's drinking in my life? We can easily recognize how alcohol affects he drinker. It's not as easy for family and friends to recognize how the drinker's behavior has affected them. These...	tommyecat	1	413	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	The Agreement (Preview) I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board). He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how w...	member922	6	490	May 11, 2011 by member922
	Looking for experiences (Preview) So its been a few weeks since I've been on this site. The reason being is that I finally got a full time teaching posiiton and I also work at a restaurant a few night a week. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I barely have time to make it to face to face meetings and I am feeling really guilty about it and falling...	Corgi2	5	502	May 11, 2011 by Tracy
	Property Lines (Preview) I received the following in an email when I first began my journey of recovery. I thought how does one do this? Years later, I now know Alanon has taught me how. I hope you all enjoy. Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify w...	tommyecat	3	350	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Violence close to home (Preview) A woman three blocks away from where I live was murdered last night by her substance abusing estranged husband, then he rolled his car down a hill in a high speed pursuit, was ejected and flown to the big city via helicopter and whether or not he makes it is anybodys guess. When I told my AH (in a text) he res...	likemyheart	3	527	May 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Codependency (Preview) Found this on Codependency and thought I'd share with anyone else learning about this topic too. It's quite scary but helpful to learn about ourselves in this process. This is not Al Anon material, but was helpful to me when I read it. Characteristics of Codependency *************************...	roonpugs	5	5653	May 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	And so it continues (Preview) I saw AH the other day... he went through detox and is now going through the rehab. He is still convinced that he has no problem. Oh well.. his problem, not mine. He said something that I couldn't believe. He told me.. "Well, you have to change too.. you have to learn that when I've had a couple beers n...	Evian	3	355	May 11, 2011 by Evian
	SAD (Preview) This family disease really sucks. My oldest son never returns my calls, he never called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. It just hurts me so much. Then when I see him he acts like nothing it wrong. I feel like Hes got the perfect behavior of an Acoholic in many ways can this happen? I feel like the victim I get...	peacewithin	9	904	May 10, 2011 by likemyheart
	Isn't it Strange... ;0) (Preview) You know, I have been trying to get back in tune on a respectable Level with my HP here lately, and tho never from from my thoughts, I have be trying to see & notice things that have been apart of my moods, and emotions, things that help... things that do not... I found a Weird Connection with Clothes to...	Jozie	6	578	May 10, 2011 by pineapple
	New to the board and going back to Al-Anon (Preview) Hi I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past wit...	Kate_P	4	495	May 10, 2011 by Kate_P
	What do you tell your kids about going to a meeting? (Preview) I didn't get to go to the meeting last night, when we got home, my son's needed some mom time after supper. So instead of a meeting, we took a walk, we played at the play ground near by, and we laughed a lot. It was actually really nice. I felt that I needed the time with them. I am on here this morning askin...	youfoundme	11	768	May 10, 2011 by Tracy
	Heard in a meeting (Preview) I love to go to an early Saturday morning Alanon meeting at 8.30 AM. The reason why I go walking in with wet hair, fresh out of the shower is because of the years of solid recovery in that room. So many people with forty plus years of recovery are there and say the darndest things such as this past week. *&q...*	tommyecat	7	486	May 10, 2011 by RLC
	Sponsorship Joke (Preview) I just replied to another post with this joke I heard in the Alanon rooms. It just tickles me so much I wanted to share it with all of you. *P.S., God is showing off today!* >>>>>>>HERE IS A JOKE TO LIGHTEN THE SPONSOR LOAD<<<<<<<<<< A man in a ho...	tommyecat	6	3232	May 10, 2011 by member922
	Same old post... (Preview) Hi Gang. I always feel bad when I get this way and it's hard for me to offer support, yet I come here begging for it. So I told the abf that we really need some time apart, not just a breather for a week, but a decent amount of time to work on ourselves and see if we really miss each other and want to be together. ...	member922	9	601	May 10, 2011 by member922
	Tonight is open alanon for me :) (Preview) I found my own meeting for tonight and I am going. Its open and so bf asked if he could join me. He went to his own meetings over the weekend with the guy he spoke with Friday night and Saturday morning. I think something is changing in me and maybe in him as well. I feel as if a weight has been lifted, and I...	youfoundme	5	618	May 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	16 Months Sober and Now a Relapse (Preview) I've had a pretty smooth ride of it, not having to use my "active" (as I think of them) Al-Anon tools because my ABF has been sober. So last week he got a sore throat with a bad cough -- it's pretty bad, I got it a couple days later, and it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades -- and decided to take...	ythannah	10	1225	May 10, 2011 by ythannah
	my friend got in a car accident after driving, and I feel the guilt... (Preview) I just found this site last weekend, and everyone support has been truly great. But I feel incredibly guilty because my friend hurt himself on Thursday night/Friday morning after getting behind the wheel. Long story short, I've tried reaching out to him about his drinking, he's lied about seeing a t...	DanH	7	1358	May 10, 2011 by Karilynn
	thank God I didn't hear the phone last night (Preview) My A son called last night. It was rather early but for some reason I was asleep in bed and didn't even hear the phone ring in my room. That's a first! My husband told me this morning that he called and was drunk. He was getting ready to go to sleep IN HIS TRUCK! That would have completely ruined my good night'...	Gailey	4	673	May 10, 2011 by Karilynn
	Has Anyone Faced This? (Preview) Hi. I am feeling so miserable this morning and badly need to talk to someone about it. Since my husband unexpectedly died recently, I have had many people making requests of me since I live in a large house with lots of storage space. They have requested to live here while "getting on their fee...	Otie	10	704	May 10, 2011 by Otie
	Need a one liner or twelve. (Preview) My A is consistently asking me what is wrong. I mean numerous times a day. If I am thinking about something that has to do with me and just me, I may look like I am thiking. He has to know about what. If what I say doesn't sound believable enough he questions me about it. Basically he will only accept an a...	clep	15	754	May 9, 2011 by glad lee
	do you find it hard being with just yourself? (Preview) I am so dissatisfied with my life! I don't like my homelife with my husband. I don't like my job or my co-workers and I am even having a hard time with my siblings. My kids are a given..... The past few years my husband has distance himself from me for whatever reason. I don't even care anymore. We are buyi...	Gailey	14	514	May 9, 2011 by Aloha
	Today's thought - I have made mistakes (Preview) Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes. I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow. I trust that, in the future, I will not...	glad lee	8	1222	May 9, 2011 by member922
	I should have thought twice about staying married to an A (Preview) My life has been completely devastated. I went to meetings, I set boundaries and stuck to them, I eventually asked him to move out if he continued to drink and drive. I have been doing the work on my own recovery for 7 years and was feeling good about myself and how well I was doing not enabling him any lon...	sienna	16	912	May 9, 2011 by member922
	I'm having trouble talking at meetings (Preview) Everybody always shares positive things... even when it's something really bad, they're positive about it, and how the program has helped them with it. Right now, I am barely clinging to hope by my fingernails, and every day seems worse than the last. But I don't want to bring down the mood of the meeti...	atheos	13	1029	May 9, 2011 by clep
	Sponsor/Sponsee relationships (Preview) What should you look for in a sponsor, and what makes a good sponsee? -- Edited by oldergal on Friday 6th of May 2011 10:33:47 PM	oldergal	4	1108	May 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	fighting me (Preview) I feel good that I've had enough holidays since my exAH left now, that I am able to make them whatever I want. Spent the day with my younger two, brought sandwiches to my parents, went on a walk. ExAH sent me a text and dropped off a card. I accepted them as the nice gestures they were. Over all, it was sim...	Loupiness	5	597	May 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Mother's Days (Preview) Mother's Day during the journey...My Mom is a memory today. She passed away years ago and was part of my recovery journey...She was one of 6 daughters of an alcoholic abusive life and carried the affects with her. One sister became alcoholic, one left the family to become a Nun, 3 others (including...	Jerry F	9	514	May 9, 2011 by Jozie
	Went to open AA last night (Preview) It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not...	youfoundme	5	662	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	There is a solution! (Preview) I just finished step 5 with my sponsor yesterday and words can't describe how I feel, but I'll try . I keep thinking, maybe this has worked for some people but it isn't going to work for me. I've always been a very cynical person, the glass is always half-empty. I've been proven wrong ever single step so fa...	Aimee	4	561	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	New and hosting my own pity party (Preview) Hello all! I am new to the forum. I typed "pity party" and "al-anon" into my search engine and here I am. I am so terribly frustrated today. My husband sat on the couch all morning and didn't do a thing to help with the kids. I cleaned and took care of them and then he announced tha...	Fordsmom	4	556	May 8, 2011 by roonpugs
	WHat About Dick Van Dyke!?? (Preview) I saw Dick Van Dyke being interviewed a couple of times this week in the popular media. He spoke of sliding into "functional addiction" earlier into his career "about 10yrs. worth" He said that he was painfilly shy and began using alcohol to overcome this. He says that he was...	Otie	7	4662	May 8, 2011 by maryjane
	Thanks Mom (Preview) I am proud and almost have a feeling of guilt after read others post today. I was truly blessed and grateful to have a Mother (and Father) who raised me right, was always there for me, and led me in the right direction. For that I will always be thankful. My Mother left this world ten years ago to be in a bette...	RLC	6	832	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	Carnt win (Preview) My sober ABF rang this morning very uspset he said he could not believe how selfish I am being and never wants to talk to me again. he said I have been like a dad to the kids I want to go to the 18th. My son has also said its my prob and he wants my ex there. even my brother who doesnt want me with him said he shoul...	Tracy	3	490	May 8, 2011 by danielle0516
	Happy Mother's Day (Preview) Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful mother's day. It is a nice day here. My children gave me beautiful gifts, one homemade, one store bought. I was supposed to receive breakfast in bed lol, but one of them is still in bed herself . I appreciate my mom as well. She lives far away and I miss her very mu...	member922	3	445	May 8, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I feel like I'm drowning (Preview) 6 months ago I moved out of the house I lived in with my ABF. I am on the title, the mortgage. 5 months ago I stopped going to F2F alanon meetings. Many reasons for this, none of which matter really. My ABF and I were still 'seeing' each other all this time. Meanwhile, my boundaries are getting more and m...	denver_co	8	820	May 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Forgiveness for my mother on Mother's Day (Preview) I grew up in an alcoholic home. There was violence physical, emotional and verbal abuse. My father was the alcoholic, a daily drunk but always home by 4.30, dinner on the table by 5 PM and passed out by 6.30 in his easy chair, cigarette burning in hand with the local news station on. My dad and I got alo...	tommyecat	5	556	May 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting (Preview) I am unable to chair the meeting on Monday as I will be out of town that day. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks	shimo	0	304	May 8, 2011 by shimo
	new to boards (Preview) Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Lyn..my husband is an addict. We are going on 10 years of marriage, but are facing a seperation due to his addiction. Something has to give. I can't take the decietfulness. Its like I'm living in his fantasy world where nothing is true. It seems t...	lyn46	10	476	May 7, 2011 by lyn46
	hes not coming (Preview) I rang my sober ex ABf once I carmed down. I told him I was experiencing a hard time looking at me he understood as he is in recovery. I told him it was not personal but I was not strong enough for him to come to my sons 18th. He said o.k. I said I will most prob contact you when I do step nine afet making amends...	Tracy	2	463	May 7, 2011 by Otie
	Not so proud today (Preview) I have to come clean to somebody. I was drinking last night. I called the abf and screamed my head off at him about everything rotten that he ever said and did to me. Pretty pathetic. I did apologize today via email, but we basically agreed last night that our relationship is pretty much over. I have kn...	member922	18	1346	May 7, 2011 by atheos
	Mother's Day - tough one for me (Preview) My mom is my bloodline qualifier in my life. To this very day, I still struggle with some part inside of me that just does NOT want to open up and forgive. When I look at it, I think I see a very scared, confused child that tried to understand what on earth was going on with Mom. My mom got sober when I was about t...	Aloha	4	656	May 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Protecting myself (Preview) I have been really having a serene, good time living now. Had some thoughts today that just sorta all gathered together. Been probaly 9 years now since the ex AH and I still had a connection. 9 years of me not having a mate again. last time, when first husband died it was 18+ years. My Mother died in 2000. An...	Debilyn	6	801	May 7, 2011 by Otie
	What we focus on becomes our reality! (Preview) Sure does, I have been focussing heavily on my hubbie again, and guess what? I got drunk, I isolated and I sat licking my wounds and I really don't like that place anymore, on my bad days I can say quite honestly well I have every right to feel like this, but thats my choice, progress right there, my awarene...	Katy	9	973	May 6, 2011 by Debilyn
	obsession (Preview) the topic at our meeting tonight was obsession. I shared honestly that I am obsessed by many things it was the drinkers drinking, then when he got sober it was his life. Lately we have not seen each other but I am still sick my mind hurts from all the obsessive thinking, I even obsess in my s;leep. This i...	Tracy	3	646	May 6, 2011 by Jerry F
	seeing the alcoholic in a new light (Preview) As many of you know I have more than one alcoholic roommate. I have been so tangled up in reacting to them most of the time that I'm not able to be detached. Lately things have been a bit quieter and probably most of that is my state of mind. Lately in the cold light of day I can see an alcoholic for what they ar...	maresie	7	1051	May 6, 2011 by maresie
	My crazy ex is using the 12 steps against me -Help! (Preview) My crazy alcoholic ex owes me a substantial amount of money. As I had him sign papers, I sent him a credit collector, who was unsuccessful. Then a lawyer.He called me pretending he would pay me back a small amount each month that would take 5 years!!!!!!And that he refuses to go thoruhg my lawyer and star...	shannah	12	867	May 6, 2011 by shannah
	Oh Mommy Dearest (Preview) With Mother's Day right around the corner, I thought I would share laugh with the forum. Perhaps you would recognize some of these one liners. I certainly do. This was passed on to me years ago, I hope you enjoy it too. Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Things My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me T...	tommyecat	6	740	May 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Why do they make us out to be the crazy one and the one to blame for EVERYTHING? (Preview) My ex-abf told me I was crazy anytime I confronted him on his bad behavior. I really think he enjoyed rallying his family and friends around him convincing him that I was the sick crazy one after all and he is perfect. He could cheat,lie, drink, do drugs, etc. and in their eyes he's perfect but heaven forb...	Stillalive2dream	11	1020	May 6, 2011 by maryjane
	Getting over the past? (Preview) I just found out this morning that my AH had an affair at the begining of our marriage. I already knew about two other one night stands that had happened during his relapse in the recient past but had no idea about this on going affair he had 11 years ago. I had been in a great place before this morning, the ha...	Aimee	10	758	May 6, 2011 by Jerry F
	For Mother's Day (Preview) I decided for Mother's Day I will realize my Mother gave me what she could from where she came from and I love her for it. I will forgive her and let go of the not so good from my childhood and embrace the joys to let me off the hook as much as for her. I will love her through her dysfunctions and show her compass...	flopadopilus	2	533	May 6, 2011 by nmike
	completely getting confused and i dont know (Preview) hi,im back in my same a/d relationship agin ,i love him he is trying last few times he has come to visit he isnt tanked up on nothing,he says he is quitting it all for me and himself mostly,but he sounded messed up on ph.earlier im not answering his calls cause i refuse to put up with him tanked up on enything...	pattyann1963	5	704	May 6, 2011 by pattyann1963
	What On Earth Do I Say To Daughter? (Preview) Oh dear - Daughter has just texted me: - "I can't talk on the phone at the mo but I've been really worried about (Partner). he doesn't sleep - he only eats when I make him and he's down all the time". (He did have a problem last year when he was sacked from his job. He has another very good job now but...	Tattyhead	10	1025	May 6, 2011 by Tattyhead
	do you acknowledge the behavior? (Preview) still fairly new to everything it seems - not just this board. 3 weeks of al anon meetings and i am already beginning to feel like a different person. a much happier, healthier person. i had "the" conversation with AH about 3 1/2 weeks ago - the one where i confronted him with his alcoholis...	Georgia	12	1074	May 6, 2011 by kitty
	questioning my habits? (Preview) I thought when I entered alanon I would just get it and that would be that, CURED! BUT? there is just soso much I need to get, I must confess I am still doing the same old same old and not expecting different results but, questioning myself, why am I still doing this when I know what the outcome will be, when I...	Katy	8	782	May 6, 2011 by Katy
	The 12 Steps for Adult Children book by ? (Preview) I received this book yesterday and am going to start it tonight. I had 2 people tell me it was awesome and wondered if anyone has read this and has anything to say. I also received Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. and wondered if these impacted anyone and if anyone has more books to add to my l...	flopadopilus	6	2947	May 6, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.