Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

orchidlover · orchidlover

In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...

MelB · MelB

Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...

MelB · MelB

I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...

amills4294 · amills4294

This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...

debbiems · debbiems

So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...

atheos · atheos

A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I *hate* sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...

debbiems · debbiems

So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...

MelB · MelB

Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...

Not Alone · Not Alone

I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...

Lost survivor · Lost survivor

I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...

cypressmom · cypressmom

I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...

Pushka · Pushka

It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...

Ame · Ame

Hi everyone, My Fiance of 2 years is an alcoholic, he has been arrested for abusing me and the last time he went to jail for 3 months. When he's sober he's great when he's drinking he's angry. He tries to hide alcohol and I find it, he drinks and blacks out and ends up leaving or fighting with me. He is going t...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I am back. Back from holidays, back at work, and back from having to renew my internet account and access and then losing all my passwords hahahaha. Cairns was great. We went up to the Daintree rainforrest, world heritage area, and we went to Kuranda on the tablelands (more rainforest), and t...

Jules67 · Jules67

So this morning, I found out my fiance (who came home at 230 last night) left an empty wine bottle, two empty coke packets and an empty can of beer in our movie room. I'm glad I found that stuff before the kids did. I have spoken to his family, all of whom agrees he needs rehab. I told him that I loved him but tha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday was my alanon birthday--I shared it at a meeting w/ my friends & the lady I sponsor. She is still calling me her sponsor-yay! Anyhow, I have been in the program for 26 years now. I am so grateful today & happier in some ways than I have ever been in my life. I have gone through a lot since my...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I know this book is conference approved so I'm pretty sure I can quote this one, it's from Delimna of the Alcoholic Marriage pg 81. It's in regards to step 4, this was a light bulb moment for me this morning so I wanted to share "I have done my best and it isn't good enough. Now I know I need the help of a p...

MelB · MelB

So I just got home from my second meeting and it went GREAT! I opened up a little and it felt good to relate to others and my thoughts about things be heard. I was so happy that I had the chance to be there. We read through some of the Alanon material and I loved reading then discussing what it meant to us. I thou...

lightblue2 · lightblue2

a few days ago my children and I went for a walk along a bush track that lead up to a waterfall. The walk was beautiful (in the australian bush). We got to an area about half way up and there was a place to swim, but our goal was to get to the top. So we continued up the track. It became narrow and I panicked that o...

kwinanachick · kwinanachick

I have taken the first step into healing myself I hope. I have lived on and off with my partner for 8 years this 19th decemebr 2011. He has bashed me causing 24 stitches in my head leaving me in a pool of blood oblivious to the fact that i was hurt. when he found out he denied he was at fault saying i drove him to...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I'm disappointed, frustrated, and angry right now. I know that if I confront AH about anything that he'll just deny, placate me, lie about amounts, etc. He'll justify his actions, he'll downplay the situation making me seem like the crazy one. And, I'll just get caught in his trap and I'll be the on...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

I feel so confused- I want to be with my husband more than anyone else in the world, and he happens to be an alcoholic. We are young, have been together for 6 and a half years but only married for six months, and would love to have children one day. My husband is only on day three of his 90 straight days at AA, wh...

glad lee · glad lee

"One of the best ways I know to get in touch with myself," a woman explained, "is to write my thoughts and feelings. When I express my reactions to the happenings of life - in the privacy of a journal - I can more easily sort out and work through my positive and negative feelings. A journal...

Lost survivor · Lost survivor

Just 30 minutes ago me and my AH got into an argument because I made a comment about how much soda he drinks...it was such a minor little thing and in my mind I justify stuff like that as what we do because we love someone. You want to support them and help them stay healthy, but he took it as me analyzing every...

Gailey · Gailey

Hi everyone and Happy New Year to you all. I wish everyone good health, peace and serenity in 2012. Let me just pick up where I think I left off. A son got his 3rd dui the end of July. Either this was his bottom or else AA took hold of him this time. He was fortunate enough to walk into a meeting on a Monday evenin...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Do you ever feel like it isn't any one BIG thing that is just going to make you lose it, but the constant little ones? At work, busy, phone rings, it's my AH. The college program he got into and is starting next week just let him know one of his immunizations needs to be updated. Well he was LIVID, bitching...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I went over my Mom's today mainly to eat dinner because I am down to seven dollars and I need gas to get to and from work. This is why I love my Mom. She is the best Mom in the world in a million ways and if i could go back when I was a floating soul or whatever we are before we're born I would have picked her for my M...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

This is more of a venting session because I know there aren't really answers that can be provided. But what do you do when your AH gets angry for the decisions you made? He's been sober for 2 weeks now and he got really upset when I said the reason I was coming back to town in a couple weeks was because of work,...

654 Users in the Last 24 hours... · rehprof

Wow...if you look at the stats at the bottom of the page, 654 people have used this site in the last 24 hours... I am one of them, and it IS a miracle, the phenomenon that is happening here. What is so cool for me ...and different than a f2f meeting...is that I can read, and re-read the things that speak to me....

stopandchat · stopandchat

I really feel like I just need to cut my losses and move on with my life. My AH has been sober for over a year, however, he is still very much an alcoholic. All that's gone is the drink. I have simply had enough of it. We've been going to counseling, and I really wanted to try to make it work for the sake of our 8 we...

MelB · MelB

As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I ca...

MelB · MelB

Is it ok to overwhelm all of you with my problems? I found this site and it feels like the first time I've been able to get help. The help I desperately need. I look to you guys already. Even just reading other posts helps me to calm myself and realize that it's gonna take time. I'm currently frustrated bec...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

"Swims across the sea of life, breasting its waves joyfully" I get paid in two days and will actually be able to buy some groceries finally. This humbling experience of having no money has given me some new found insight. I watched a documentary where a whole world of people videotaped th...

nyc018 · nyc018

Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

I can't get in the meeting room

MelB · MelB

I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

Being part of MIP and Al - Anon for the short period I have, I have learned a lot about alcoholism as a disease. My question is if you see your A, showing wrong behavior that is not conducive to recovery. Should you call them out on it or let it go. They will work out their own recovery?

Pushka · Pushka

My husbands mom is suppose to be getting out of the hospital today. God love him because he just left to go and get her. It is 4pm I am expecting kids at 5 and I'm not done yet .. lol. Of course .. LOL .. she doesn't call to let him know she's getting out the poor guy just got out of work at 3pm got home at 330pm and...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

So in 2011 I had two miscarriages, had a close friend die, my husband relapse and find out I was lied to, then my husband relapse again overdose and almost die in front of me, then my husband went to rehab for three weeks. It was the best year of my life. Why? Because I have discovered that these trials tha...

MelB · MelB

I don't know how to get into the chat room? It shows a box but says something about the java script being expired or something?? I would really like to have someone to chat with through the day. I wish there was an app for cells to allow chatting. I need as much support as possible. Please help if you can. Th...

rehprof · rehprof

Just wanted to share a book / resource that has been of great help to me... Tara Brach is a buddhist teacher...but uses teachings from all religions in her work... She has free podcasts on itunes, and a couple on her website. I have all her podcasts, and often listen to them in the car.... what has been awe...

MelB · MelB

It's a new day! I slept ok. Only one nightmare last night. Do those ever stop? I don't know if I can handle them much longer. They are like reality for me. I wake up sobbing and even though I know they are just dreams they rock my world. Now at 8:49am I have forgotten the dream except that he needs a sponser. I...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, I made a Big post earlier but i couldn't type so easy and just couldn't get me to cut it down to size; would of taken too long so i threw it out here and let it be what it is .. it's on feelings & manipulation .. My daughter is supposed to visit with her dad on Sundays .. Last Sunday he called to cancel beca...

MelB · MelB

It's funny. I'm reading things online about "putting him in the back of my mind" and "stop trying to tell him how to recover" etc.. and it's making tears swell up in my eyes. I do all the things on these lists. I want to change these things about myself and I consider how to attach the...

Peniv · Peniv

think it might have been too long but can't get beyond the thought that I may not have got to be me 13 years on.............could do with some help. My mom is the alcoholic may years of vivid memories in an not un well off family but is money the issue when your a child and then an adult with child memories. Sh...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

My alcoholic husband and I are separating, and I am heartbroken. I feel like I am dying inside; I don't know what to do with the pain. My mother died 3 months ago, my husband is in despair, and I love him, but I cannot live with him anymore. He is unpredictable, and it hurts too much, and he recognizes thi...

MelB · MelB

I'm new to this group. I have been stuggling with the idea of coming to Al anon. Not because I don't think I need it but because I so obsessed with my boyfriends recovery that I forgot to think about my own. He isn't making me focus on him. He has also asked for me to find help. I don't mean to over load the forum...

KLotus · KLotus

Happy New Year, everyone! :) Yesterday I discovered that I would not be getting my expected end of the year $6,000 in health savings reimbursements - because my alcoholic husband had submitted the receipts, intercepted my checks in the mail, and deposited them in his band account. This is one of a nu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Making a choice (Preview) In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...	orchidlover	8	417	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	I'm Brand New To This (Preview) Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...	MidwesternMom	6	379	Jan 9, 2012 by MidwesternMom
	Today! (Preview) Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...	MelB	2	206	Jan 8, 2012 by Doozy
	First meeting! (Preview) I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...	MelB	7	332	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	HELP! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE! STAY OR GO? (Preview) To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...	Julie3310	9	391	Jan 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	acknowledging my defects - (Preview) This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...	amills4294	3	370	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How many years before you've wasted your life? (Preview) I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...	hummingbirdkerry	14	789	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	Having a rough time right now (Preview) About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...	Michelle814	9	559	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	update on busted now what (Preview) So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...	debbiems	6	429	Jan 8, 2012 by debbiems
	STEP WORK BOARD 4 TH STEP JUST POSTED (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...	hotrod	0	260	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...	Hoot Nanny	3	376	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	A closet drinker (Preview) I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...	ilovedogs	9	4778	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Ugh... wish I hadn't done that... (Preview) A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I hate sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...	atheos	4	335	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Busted.. now what (Preview) So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...	debbiems	7	394	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Is it a disease, or is my wife just evil? (Preview) I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...	usedtobeanyer	10	901	Jan 7, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	How to balance support/reality for AH in recovery (Preview) My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...	hummingbirdkerry	12	339	Jan 7, 2012 by Caramelle
	Courage to change reading for today (Preview) There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...	Jean4444	8	26861	Jan 7, 2012 by graciet
	I am scared and frustrated and feeling empty!! (Preview) Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...	MelB	11	508	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Paranoid and immature (Preview) I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...	Not Alone	6	515	Jan 7, 2012 by Not Alone
	Why is smoking the lesser evil? (Preview) I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...	Lost survivor	15	630	Jan 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Our alcoholic son is living with us (Preview) I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...	cypressmom	13	5183	Jan 6, 2012 by cypressmom
	Open Meeting (Preview) It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...	Pushka	6	254	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	New (Preview) I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...	Lisa77	9	505	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	New here and going crazy (Preview) Hi everyone, My Fiance of 2 years is an alcoholic, he has been arrested for abusing me and the last time he went to jail for 3 months. When he's sober he's great when he's drinking he's angry. He tries to hide alcohol and I find it, he drinks and blacks out and ends up leaving or fighting with me. He is going t...	Ame	4	394	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	I'm baaaacck (Preview) Hi guys I am back. Back from holidays, back at work, and back from having to renew my internet account and access and then losing all my passwords hahahaha. Cairns was great. We went up to the Daintree rainforrest, world heritage area, and we went to Kuranda on the tablelands (more rainforest), and t...	Lindaoakford	7	426	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	Dreading Saturday (Preview) So this morning, I found out my fiance (who came home at 230 last night) left an empty wine bottle, two empty coke packets and an empty can of beer in our movie room. I'm glad I found that stuff before the kids did. I have spoken to his family, all of whom agrees he needs rehab. I told him that I loved him but tha...	Jules67	7	356	Jan 6, 2012 by never going back
	my alanon birthday! (Preview) Yesterday was my alanon birthday--I shared it at a meeting w/ my friends & the lady I sponsor. She is still calling me her sponsor-yay! Anyhow, I have been in the program for 26 years now. I am so grateful today & happier in some ways than I have ever been in my life. I have gone through a lot since my...	Hoot Nanny	6	323	Jan 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Direct Quote (Preview) I know this book is conference approved so I'm pretty sure I can quote this one, it's from Delimna of the Alcoholic Marriage pg 81. It's in regards to step 4, this was a light bulb moment for me this morning so I wanted to share "I have done my best and it isn't good enough. Now I know I need the help of a p...	Jackie11	4	417	Jan 6, 2012 by hotrod
	Second Meeting!!! SSOO EXCITED (Preview) So I just got home from my second meeting and it went GREAT! I opened up a little and it felt good to relate to others and my thoughts about things be heard. I was so happy that I had the chance to be there. We read through some of the Alanon material and I loved reading then discussing what it meant to us. I thou...	MelB	1	242	Jan 6, 2012 by danni
	have become over cautious (Preview) a few days ago my children and I went for a walk along a bush track that lead up to a waterfall. The walk was beautiful (in the australian bush). We got to an area about half way up and there was a place to swim, but our goal was to get to the top. So we continued up the track. It became narrow and I panicked that o...	lightblue2	3	324	Jan 6, 2012 by Too hard
	Feelings of panic and guilt (Preview) I have taken the first step into healing myself I hope. I have lived on and off with my partner for 8 years this 19th decemebr 2011. He has bashed me causing 24 stitches in my head leaving me in a pool of blood oblivious to the fact that i was hurt. when he found out he denied he was at fault saying i drove him to...	kwinanachick	7	573	Jan 6, 2012 by Pushka
	Releasing my anger (Preview) I'm disappointed, frustrated, and angry right now. I know that if I confront AH about anything that he'll just deny, placate me, lie about amounts, etc. He'll justify his actions, he'll downplay the situation making me seem like the crazy one. And, I'll just get caught in his trap and I'll be the on...	ilovedogs	5	549	Jan 5, 2012 by ilovedogs
	How far into sobriety can we start having children? (Preview) I feel so confused- I want to be with my husband more than anyone else in the world, and he happens to be an alcoholic. We are young, have been together for 6 and a half years but only married for six months, and would love to have children one day. My husband is only on day three of his 90 straight days at AA, wh...	hummingbirdkerry	12	566	Jan 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Journaling... (Preview) "One of the best ways I know to get in touch with myself," a woman explained, "is to write my thoughts and feelings. When I express my reactions to the happenings of life - in the privacy of a journal - I can more easily sort out and work through my positive and negative feelings. A journal...	glad lee	2	2784	Jan 5, 2012 by hotrod
	New to Al-Anon and struggling with program concepts (Preview) Just 30 minutes ago me and my AH got into an argument because I made a comment about how much soda he drinks...it was such a minor little thing and in my mind I justify stuff like that as what we do because we love someone. You want to support them and help them stay healthy, but he took it as me analyzing every...	Lost survivor	5	626	Jan 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Been MIA from Alanon (Preview) Hi everyone and Happy New Year to you all. I wish everyone good health, peace and serenity in 2012. Let me just pick up where I think I left off. A son got his 3rd dui the end of July. Either this was his bottom or else AA took hold of him this time. He was fortunate enough to walk into a meeting on a Monday evenin...	Gailey	4	330	Jan 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Death By A Million Paper Cuts (Preview) Do you ever feel like it isn't any one BIG thing that is just going to make you lose it, but the constant little ones? At work, busy, phone rings, it's my AH. The college program he got into and is starting next week just let him know one of his immunizations needs to be updated. Well he was LIVID, bitching...	surfgirl123	7	378	Jan 5, 2012 by hummingbirdkerry
	Coming to More Realizations About my Childhood (Preview) I went over my Mom's today mainly to eat dinner because I am down to seven dollars and I need gas to get to and from work. This is why I love my Mom. She is the best Mom in the world in a million ways and if i could go back when I was a floating soul or whatever we are before we're born I would have picked her for my M...	Michelle814	6	369	Jan 5, 2012 by hummingbirdkerry
	Decisions I've made and AH trying to make me feel guilty. (Preview) This is more of a venting session because I know there aren't really answers that can be provided. But what do you do when your AH gets angry for the decisions you made? He's been sober for 2 weeks now and he got really upset when I said the reason I was coming back to town in a couple weeks was because of work,...	LostMama31	7	545	Jan 5, 2012 by hummingbirdkerry
	654 Users in the Last 24 hours... (Preview) Wow...if you look at the stats at the bottom of the page, 654 people have used this site in the last 24 hours... I am one of them, and it IS a miracle, the phenomenon that is happening here. What is so cool for me ...and different than a f2f meeting...is that I can read, and re-read the things that speak to me....	rehprof	2	326	Jan 5, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	I've decided to divorce (Preview) I really feel like I just need to cut my losses and move on with my life. My AH has been sober for over a year, however, he is still very much an alcoholic. All that's gone is the drink. I have simply had enough of it. We've been going to counseling, and I really wanted to try to make it work for the sake of our 8 we...	stopandchat	10	588	Jan 5, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	My 11 o'clock Inventory! (Preview) As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I ca...	MelB	5	580	Jan 5, 2012 by Pushka
	Anyone for some venting!? (Preview) Is it ok to overwhelm all of you with my problems? I found this site and it feels like the first time I've been able to get help. The help I desperately need. I look to you guys already. Even just reading other posts helps me to calm myself and realize that it's gonna take time. I'm currently frustrated bec...	MelB	6	498	Jan 5, 2012 by youfoundme
	This Side of the Veil (Preview) "Swims across the sea of life, breasting its waves joyfully" I get paid in two days and will actually be able to buy some groceries finally. This humbling experience of having no money has given me some new found insight. I watched a documentary where a whole world of people videotaped th...	Michelle814	7	607	Jan 5, 2012 by maryjane
	Acceptance and Letting Go (Preview) Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...	nyc018	8	1363	Jan 5, 2012 by stopandchat
	Unable to connect : java.net.ConnectException : Connection timed out: connect (Preview) I can't get in the meeting room	Lisa77	2	1193	Jan 5, 2012 by Lisa77
	I'm sorry! I need some help!!! Desperate! (Preview) I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...	MelB	7	594	Jan 5, 2012 by rehprof
	My lost little soul, my middle son, not so little. (Preview) He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...	wildthang86	2	386	Jan 4, 2012 by tweety23
	Alcoholism (Preview) Being part of MIP and Al - Anon for the short period I have, I have learned a lot about alcoholism as a disease. My question is if you see your A, showing wrong behavior that is not conducive to recovery. Should you call them out on it or let it go. They will work out their own recovery?	ttpurtee	6	539	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	Update for Prayers (Preview) My husbands mom is suppose to be getting out of the hospital today. God love him because he just left to go and get her. It is 4pm I am expecting kids at 5 and I'm not done yet .. lol. Of course .. LOL .. she doesn't call to let him know she's getting out the poor guy just got out of work at 3pm got home at 330pm and...	Pushka	1	362	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	Goodbye 2011 (Preview) So in 2011 I had two miscarriages, had a close friend die, my husband relapse and find out I was lied to, then my husband relapse again overdose and almost die in front of me, then my husband went to rehab for three weeks. It was the best year of my life. Why? Because I have discovered that these trials tha...	Michelle814	15	349	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	HELP-chat (Preview) I don't know how to get into the chat room? It shows a box but says something about the java script being expired or something?? I would really like to have someone to chat with through the day. I wish there was an app for cells to allow chatting. I need as much support as possible. Please help if you can. Th...	MelB	2	303	Jan 4, 2012 by MelB
	Radical Acceptance (Preview) Just wanted to share a book / resource that has been of great help to me... Tara Brach is a buddhist teacher...but uses teachings from all religions in her work... She has free podcasts on itunes, and a couple on her website. I have all her podcasts, and often listen to them in the car.... what has been awe...	rehprof	3	420	Jan 4, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	I need to be in control! (Preview) It's a new day! I slept ok. Only one nightmare last night. Do those ever stop? I don't know if I can handle them much longer. They are like reality for me. I wake up sobbing and even though I know they are just dreams they rock my world. Now at 8:49am I have forgotten the dream except that he needs a sponser. I...	MelB	8	439	Jan 4, 2012 by canadianguy
	Visitation question .. Angry Sigh :-/ (Preview) So, I made a Big post earlier but i couldn't type so easy and just couldn't get me to cut it down to size; would of taken too long so i threw it out here and let it be what it is .. it's on feelings & manipulation .. My daughter is supposed to visit with her dad on Sundays .. Last Sunday he called to cancel beca...	MeTwo2	3	325	Jan 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My problems (Preview) It's funny. I'm reading things online about "putting him in the back of my mind" and "stop trying to tell him how to recover" etc.. and it's making tears swell up in my eyes. I do all the things on these lists. I want to change these things about myself and I consider how to attach the...	MelB	10	489	Jan 4, 2012 by canadianguy
	any body there (Preview) think it might have been too long but can't get beyond the thought that I may not have got to be me 13 years on.............could do with some help. My mom is the alcoholic may years of vivid memories in an not un well off family but is money the issue when your a child and then an adult with child memories. Sh...	Peniv	12	504	Jan 4, 2012 by amills4294
	My heart is broken (Preview) My alcoholic husband and I are separating, and I am heartbroken. I feel like I am dying inside; I don't know what to do with the pain. My mother died 3 months ago, my husband is in despair, and I love him, but I cannot live with him anymore. He is unpredictable, and it hurts too much, and he recognizes thi...	Iris lover of dogs	20	747	Jan 4, 2012 by Pushka
	New (Preview) I'm new to this group. I have been stuggling with the idea of coming to Al anon. Not because I don't think I need it but because I so obsessed with my boyfriends recovery that I forgot to think about my own. He isn't making me focus on him. He has also asked for me to find help. I don't mean to over load the forum...	MelB	4	518	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	Stealing? (Preview) Happy New Year, everyone! :) Yesterday I discovered that I would not be getting my expected end of the year $6,000 in health savings reimbursements - because my alcoholic husband had submitted the receipts, intercepted my checks in the mail, and deposited them in his band account. This is one of a nu...	KLotus	4	539	Jan 4, 2012 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.