Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...

MelB · MelB

Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...

nnn · nnn

Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...

MelB · MelB

I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...

rehprof · rehprof

Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...

monkeymom · monkeymom

Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...

Tracy · Tracy

thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...

coachwork · coachwork

I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...

kris10 · kris10

So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...

KLotus · KLotus

I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

DISCLAIMER: Every single one of you have given me strength and support in your own way. Your stories have provided me with the strength to use it in my own battle. however, I want you guys to know that I write my stories with him to vent and just to get an outside prospective to get opinions to see if this is w...

danni · danni

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!! That's it. That's all I have to say this morning. sigh.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't think of much to say today but I am still grateful & somewhat content. I guess I always think that I should have something profound to say on here. To be honest, my life is pretty basic. I get up & try to find good things to do for myself & others. I have a slow paced life. Sometimes I get bo...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage to Change January 9th I am always deeply touched by this page . Every year when it comes around, I find myself appreciating the words and thoughts more and more. For so many years I looked for outside approval to determine if my actions, my looks, my style was good enough. If that approval was...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night I didn't get home until very late. I had to work my restaurant job and then I had to stop at the store. Baby girl's birthday is today and we are having just family over for birthday cookie and ice cream. I had to pick up the stuff to make the cookie as well as other odds and ends. When I got home my AH wa...

MelB · MelB

Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...

philli · philli

I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...

lindaw · lindaw

What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

hi all, i am hurting alot right now so i thought i would share it here with you guys. i asked my abf to leave new years day. just when i thought i was ready to accept certain things, i noticed as we were going to bed he was trying to hide mor...

kris10 · kris10

Ugh i wrote all this out once before and i lost it somehow.. If you dont know me i have an Abf whom i recently had to kick out for him to live on the streets.. He was gone 2 weeks and i did let him back because he paid me and my son back what he owed us.. (most of it to me not all) progress not perfection right.. Anywa...

odalis · odalis

So as usual my husband was drunk the other day and wanted to disagree with everything I was saying so I politely ignored him and came to bed to watch TV. That night he woke me up and I was so annoued he would wake me up at 1 am...but in his drunken self he told me he wants to go to AA. Of course he was drunk nut the fa...

debbiems · debbiems

I just posted about getting busted.. I was told when he was in treatment that if he was to be slipping that it was my responsibility to call his PO. My question is. is that getting in his way? Any ideas on the subject would be greatly valued Debbiems

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

From my other post yesterday, many of you have read that my AH was drunk at 6 AM. My son had a friend sleeping over and I found myself angry at him for being in that condition when the boys were just in the other room. I know that if the boy's mother found out about my AH's strange behavior, she would probabl...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

Am five days into working step 1......I find myself repeating and rereading several times a day...Am staying positive, changing my thought prosess. I am working really hard not to worry, and to no I can not change things, I can change the way I handle things.. Have alot of stress, insicurities I am...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I previously posted that I have decided to divorce my AH. He has been sober for about 15 months. We haved not lived together since last April, and we now have a 2 month old daughter. It's HARD taking care of a newborn alone. I would like to clean the house today, but it's hard to do anything when taking care o...

Doozy · Doozy

I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: "Risk - Risking is about t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...

MelB · MelB

Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...

MelB · MelB

I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...

amills4294 · amills4294

This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...

debbiems · debbiems

So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...

atheos · atheos

A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I *hate* sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...

debbiems · debbiems

So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	is this passive aggressive on my part? (Preview) While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...	Lindaoakford	11	478	Jan 11, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	A few things (Preview) I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...	HoofnIt	3	643	Jan 11, 2012 by canadianguy
	New Day! (Preview) Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...	MelB	3	306	Jan 11, 2012 by MelB
	Self psychoanalysis an imperfect science (Preview) I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...	Iris lover of dogs	7	447	Jan 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	My own daughter told me to choose better next time! (Preview) My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...	Breakingfree	7	507	Jan 11, 2012 by danni
	Advice Concerning Father's Secretive Substance Abuse (Preview) Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...	nnn	3	373	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	My slip up=My inventory (Preview) I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...	MelB	3	429	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	Al-Anon is my Drug of Choice (Preview) At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...	Green Eyes	7	664	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	The "danger" of the program... (Preview) ...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...	Very Very Tired	5	607	Jan 11, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	New Year (Preview) LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...	Pushka	6	554	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	now what? (Preview) Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...	Not Alone	6	426	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	That, too, had passed (Preview) Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...	Michelle814	6	498	Jan 10, 2012 by kris10
	I am ending my relationship, how should I tell him? I Want a sponsor too! (Preview) so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...	Julie3310	5	525	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dirty Water (Preview) Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...	rehprof	9	1402	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Satisfaction (Preview) My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...	Michelle814	5	558	Jan 10, 2012 by sookie
	6th psychologist appointment (Preview) I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...	Lindaoakford	4	383	Jan 10, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	He left this morning (Preview) Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...	monkeymom	7	475	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	issues, issues, issues! (Preview) I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...	Hoot Nanny	1	344	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	Spouse not an A but other addictive/compulsive behaviors (Preview) My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...	amills4294	1	519	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	having hope (Preview) My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...	kimberlyrt	4	429	Jan 10, 2012 by rrib
	team work/tradition one (Preview) thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...	Tracy	2	522	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Coming to grips with the anger I felt today (Preview) My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...	usedtobeanyer	10	537	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Weddings...should qualifier come? Mother Wedding (Preview) I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...	coachwork	13	9366	Jan 10, 2012 by glad lee
	Documenting everything... (Preview) So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...	kris10	16	589	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Financial dilemma - HELP please! (Preview) I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...	KLotus	16	687	Jan 10, 2012 by suzieblue
	family years (Preview) good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...	MeTwo2	5	686	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Recognising Alcoholism as the Disease it is .. (Preview) someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...	MeTwo2	8	578	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Sick and tired of being sick and tired! but this is my breakthrough! (Preview) DISCLAIMER: Every single one of you have given me strength and support in your own way. Your stories have provided me with the strength to use it in my own battle. however, I want you guys to know that I write my stories with him to vent and just to get an outside prospective to get opinions to see if this is w...	Julie3310	12	496	Jan 9, 2012 by Julie3310
	Door left unlocked AGAIN! (Preview) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!! That's it. That's all I have to say this morning. sigh.	danni	9	431	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	can't think of much to say (Preview) I can't think of much to say today but I am still grateful & somewhat content. I guess I always think that I should have something profound to say on here. To be honest, my life is pretty basic. I get up & try to find good things to do for myself & others. I have a slow paced life. Sometimes I get bo...	Hoot Nanny	2	296	Jan 9, 2012 by Jerry F
	Today's Courage to Change (Preview) Courage to Change January 9th I am always deeply touched by this page . Every year when it comes around, I find myself appreciating the words and thoughts more and more. For so many years I looked for outside approval to determine if my actions, my looks, my style was good enough. If that approval was...	hotrod	3	495	Jan 9, 2012 by amills4294
	Checking my motive (Preview) Last night I didn't get home until very late. I had to work my restaurant job and then I had to stop at the store. Baby girl's birthday is today and we are having just family over for birthday cookie and ice cream. I had to pick up the stuff to make the cookie as well as other odds and ends. When I got home my AH wa...	Jackie11	9	1055	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	My promise for today! (Preview) Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...	MelB	3	408	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Roots of my whachamacalit (Preview) I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...	likemyheart	5	447	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	relationship (Preview) I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...	philli	2	407	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	What should I do when my daughter calls from a liquor store with 8 months sobrity? (Preview) What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...	lindaw	13	566	Jan 9, 2012 by lindaw
	in so very much pain (Preview) hi all, i am hurting alot right now so i thought i would share it here with you guys. i asked my abf to leave new years day. just when i thought i was ready to accept certain things, i noticed as we were going to bed he was trying to hide mor...	serenityseeker1	7	640	Jan 9, 2012 by orchidlover
	Keeping my own side clean... (Preview) Ugh i wrote all this out once before and i lost it somehow.. If you dont know me i have an Abf whom i recently had to kick out for him to live on the streets.. He was gone 2 weeks and i did let him back because he paid me and my son back what he owed us.. (most of it to me not all) progress not perfection right.. Anywa...	kris10	15	435	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	AH says he wants AA (Preview) So as usual my husband was drunk the other day and wanted to disagree with everything I was saying so I politely ignored him and came to bed to watch TV. That night he woke me up and I was so annoued he would wake me up at 1 am...but in his drunken self he told me he wants to go to AA. Of course he was drunk nut the fa...	odalis	6	385	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	should I call his PO? (Preview) I just posted about getting busted.. I was told when he was in treatment that if he was to be slipping that it was my responsibility to call his PO. My question is. is that getting in his way? Any ideas on the subject would be greatly valued Debbiems	debbiems	12	389	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Do I confront or keep quiet (Preview) From my other post yesterday, many of you have read that my AH was drunk at 6 AM. My son had a friend sleeping over and I found myself angry at him for being in that condition when the boys were just in the other room. I know that if the boy's mother found out about my AH's strange behavior, she would probabl...	ilovedogs	10	740	Jan 9, 2012 by nyc018
	Step 1 (Preview) Am five days into working step 1......I find myself repeating and rereading several times a day...Am staying positive, changing my thought prosess. I am working really hard not to worry, and to no I can not change things, I can change the way I handle things.. Have alot of stress, insicurities I am...	Lisa77	2	419	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Feeling a little resentful today (Preview) I previously posted that I have decided to divorce my AH. He has been sober for about 15 months. We haved not lived together since last April, and we now have a 2 month old daughter. It's HARD taking care of a newborn alone. I would like to clean the house today, but it's hard to do anything when taking care o...	stopandchat	5	533	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing... (Preview) I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: "Risk - Risking is about t...	Doozy	6	505	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Making a choice (Preview) In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...	orchidlover	8	495	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	I'm Brand New To This (Preview) Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...	MidwesternMom	6	454	Jan 9, 2012 by MidwesternMom
	Today! (Preview) Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...	MelB	2	285	Jan 8, 2012 by Doozy
	First meeting! (Preview) I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...	MelB	7	411	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	HELP! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE! STAY OR GO? (Preview) To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...	Julie3310	9	464	Jan 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	acknowledging my defects - (Preview) This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...	amills4294	3	450	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How many years before you've wasted your life? (Preview) I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...	hummingbirdkerry	14	870	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	Having a rough time right now (Preview) About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...	Michelle814	9	642	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	update on busted now what (Preview) So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...	debbiems	6	523	Jan 8, 2012 by debbiems
	STEP WORK BOARD 4 TH STEP JUST POSTED (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...	hotrod	0	332	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...	Hoot Nanny	3	481	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	A closet drinker (Preview) I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...	ilovedogs	9	5557	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Ugh... wish I hadn't done that... (Preview) A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I hate sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...	atheos	4	411	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Busted.. now what (Preview) So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...	debbiems	7	477	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Is it a disease, or is my wife just evil? (Preview) I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...	usedtobeanyer	10	976	Jan 7, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	How to balance support/reality for AH in recovery (Preview) My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...	hummingbirdkerry	12	413	Jan 7, 2012 by Caramelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.