Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MelB · MelB

Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...

philli · philli

I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...

lindaw · lindaw

What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

hi all, i am hurting alot right now so i thought i would share it here with you guys. i asked my abf to leave new years day. just when i thought i was ready to accept certain things, i noticed as we were going to bed he was trying to hide mor...

kris10 · kris10

Ugh i wrote all this out once before and i lost it somehow.. If you dont know me i have an Abf whom i recently had to kick out for him to live on the streets.. He was gone 2 weeks and i did let him back because he paid me and my son back what he owed us.. (most of it to me not all) progress not perfection right.. Anywa...

odalis · odalis

So as usual my husband was drunk the other day and wanted to disagree with everything I was saying so I politely ignored him and came to bed to watch TV. That night he woke me up and I was so annoued he would wake me up at 1 am...but in his drunken self he told me he wants to go to AA. Of course he was drunk nut the fa...

debbiems · debbiems

I just posted about getting busted.. I was told when he was in treatment that if he was to be slipping that it was my responsibility to call his PO. My question is. is that getting in his way? Any ideas on the subject would be greatly valued Debbiems

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

From my other post yesterday, many of you have read that my AH was drunk at 6 AM. My son had a friend sleeping over and I found myself angry at him for being in that condition when the boys were just in the other room. I know that if the boy's mother found out about my AH's strange behavior, she would probabl...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

Am five days into working step 1......I find myself repeating and rereading several times a day...Am staying positive, changing my thought prosess. I am working really hard not to worry, and to no I can not change things, I can change the way I handle things.. Have alot of stress, insicurities I am...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I previously posted that I have decided to divorce my AH. He has been sober for about 15 months. We haved not lived together since last April, and we now have a 2 month old daughter. It's HARD taking care of a newborn alone. I would like to clean the house today, but it's hard to do anything when taking care o...

Doozy · Doozy

I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: "Risk - Risking is about t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...

MelB · MelB

Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...

MelB · MelB

I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...

amills4294 · amills4294

This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...

debbiems · debbiems

So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...

atheos · atheos

A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I *hate* sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...

debbiems · debbiems

So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...

MelB · MelB

Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...

Not Alone · Not Alone

I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...

Lost survivor · Lost survivor

I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...

cypressmom · cypressmom

I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...

Pushka · Pushka

It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...

Ame · Ame

Hi everyone, My Fiance of 2 years is an alcoholic, he has been arrested for abusing me and the last time he went to jail for 3 months. When he's sober he's great when he's drinking he's angry. He tries to hide alcohol and I find it, he drinks and blacks out and ends up leaving or fighting with me. He is going t...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I am back. Back from holidays, back at work, and back from having to renew my internet account and access and then losing all my passwords hahahaha. Cairns was great. We went up to the Daintree rainforrest, world heritage area, and we went to Kuranda on the tablelands (more rainforest), and t...

Jules67 · Jules67

So this morning, I found out my fiance (who came home at 230 last night) left an empty wine bottle, two empty coke packets and an empty can of beer in our movie room. I'm glad I found that stuff before the kids did. I have spoken to his family, all of whom agrees he needs rehab. I told him that I loved him but tha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday was my alanon birthday--I shared it at a meeting w/ my friends & the lady I sponsor. She is still calling me her sponsor-yay! Anyhow, I have been in the program for 26 years now. I am so grateful today & happier in some ways than I have ever been in my life. I have gone through a lot since my...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I know this book is conference approved so I'm pretty sure I can quote this one, it's from Delimna of the Alcoholic Marriage pg 81. It's in regards to step 4, this was a light bulb moment for me this morning so I wanted to share "I have done my best and it isn't good enough. Now I know I need the help of a p...

MelB · MelB

So I just got home from my second meeting and it went GREAT! I opened up a little and it felt good to relate to others and my thoughts about things be heard. I was so happy that I had the chance to be there. We read through some of the Alanon material and I loved reading then discussing what it meant to us. I thou...

lightblue2 · lightblue2

a few days ago my children and I went for a walk along a bush track that lead up to a waterfall. The walk was beautiful (in the australian bush). We got to an area about half way up and there was a place to swim, but our goal was to get to the top. So we continued up the track. It became narrow and I panicked that o...

kwinanachick · kwinanachick

I have taken the first step into healing myself I hope. I have lived on and off with my partner for 8 years this 19th decemebr 2011. He has bashed me causing 24 stitches in my head leaving me in a pool of blood oblivious to the fact that i was hurt. when he found out he denied he was at fault saying i drove him to...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I'm disappointed, frustrated, and angry right now. I know that if I confront AH about anything that he'll just deny, placate me, lie about amounts, etc. He'll justify his actions, he'll downplay the situation making me seem like the crazy one. And, I'll just get caught in his trap and I'll be the on...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

I feel so confused- I want to be with my husband more than anyone else in the world, and he happens to be an alcoholic. We are young, have been together for 6 and a half years but only married for six months, and would love to have children one day. My husband is only on day three of his 90 straight days at AA, wh...

glad lee · glad lee

"One of the best ways I know to get in touch with myself," a woman explained, "is to write my thoughts and feelings. When I express my reactions to the happenings of life - in the privacy of a journal - I can more easily sort out and work through my positive and negative feelings. A journal...

Lost survivor · Lost survivor

Just 30 minutes ago me and my AH got into an argument because I made a comment about how much soda he drinks...it was such a minor little thing and in my mind I justify stuff like that as what we do because we love someone. You want to support them and help them stay healthy, but he took it as me analyzing every...

Gailey · Gailey

Hi everyone and Happy New Year to you all. I wish everyone good health, peace and serenity in 2012. Let me just pick up where I think I left off. A son got his 3rd dui the end of July. Either this was his bottom or else AA took hold of him this time. He was fortunate enough to walk into a meeting on a Monday evenin...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Do you ever feel like it isn't any one BIG thing that is just going to make you lose it, but the constant little ones? At work, busy, phone rings, it's my AH. The college program he got into and is starting next week just let him know one of his immunizations needs to be updated. Well he was LIVID, bitching...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I went over my Mom's today mainly to eat dinner because I am down to seven dollars and I need gas to get to and from work. This is why I love my Mom. She is the best Mom in the world in a million ways and if i could go back when I was a floating soul or whatever we are before we're born I would have picked her for my M...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

This is more of a venting session because I know there aren't really answers that can be provided. But what do you do when your AH gets angry for the decisions you made? He's been sober for 2 weeks now and he got really upset when I said the reason I was coming back to town in a couple weeks was because of work,...

654 Users in the Last 24 hours... · rehprof

Wow...if you look at the stats at the bottom of the page, 654 people have used this site in the last 24 hours... I am one of them, and it IS a miracle, the phenomenon that is happening here. What is so cool for me ...and different than a f2f meeting...is that I can read, and re-read the things that speak to me....

stopandchat · stopandchat

I really feel like I just need to cut my losses and move on with my life. My AH has been sober for over a year, however, he is still very much an alcoholic. All that's gone is the drink. I have simply had enough of it. We've been going to counseling, and I really wanted to try to make it work for the sake of our 8 we...

MelB · MelB

As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I ca...

MelB · MelB

Is it ok to overwhelm all of you with my problems? I found this site and it feels like the first time I've been able to get help. The help I desperately need. I look to you guys already. Even just reading other posts helps me to calm myself and realize that it's gonna take time. I'm currently frustrated bec...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

"Swims across the sea of life, breasting its waves joyfully" I get paid in two days and will actually be able to buy some groceries finally. This humbling experience of having no money has given me some new found insight. I watched a documentary where a whole world of people videotaped th...

nyc018 · nyc018

Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

I can't get in the meeting room

MelB · MelB

I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My promise for today! (Preview) Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...	MelB	3	349	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Roots of my whachamacalit (Preview) I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...	likemyheart	5	388	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	relationship (Preview) I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...	philli	2	349	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	What should I do when my daughter calls from a liquor store with 8 months sobrity? (Preview) What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...	lindaw	13	506	Jan 9, 2012 by lindaw
	in so very much pain (Preview) hi all, i am hurting alot right now so i thought i would share it here with you guys. i asked my abf to leave new years day. just when i thought i was ready to accept certain things, i noticed as we were going to bed he was trying to hide mor...	serenityseeker1	7	570	Jan 9, 2012 by orchidlover
	Keeping my own side clean... (Preview) Ugh i wrote all this out once before and i lost it somehow.. If you dont know me i have an Abf whom i recently had to kick out for him to live on the streets.. He was gone 2 weeks and i did let him back because he paid me and my son back what he owed us.. (most of it to me not all) progress not perfection right.. Anywa...	kris10	15	373	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	AH says he wants AA (Preview) So as usual my husband was drunk the other day and wanted to disagree with everything I was saying so I politely ignored him and came to bed to watch TV. That night he woke me up and I was so annoued he would wake me up at 1 am...but in his drunken self he told me he wants to go to AA. Of course he was drunk nut the fa...	odalis	6	326	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	should I call his PO? (Preview) I just posted about getting busted.. I was told when he was in treatment that if he was to be slipping that it was my responsibility to call his PO. My question is. is that getting in his way? Any ideas on the subject would be greatly valued Debbiems	debbiems	12	333	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Do I confront or keep quiet (Preview) From my other post yesterday, many of you have read that my AH was drunk at 6 AM. My son had a friend sleeping over and I found myself angry at him for being in that condition when the boys were just in the other room. I know that if the boy's mother found out about my AH's strange behavior, she would probabl...	ilovedogs	10	682	Jan 9, 2012 by nyc018
	Step 1 (Preview) Am five days into working step 1......I find myself repeating and rereading several times a day...Am staying positive, changing my thought prosess. I am working really hard not to worry, and to no I can not change things, I can change the way I handle things.. Have alot of stress, insicurities I am...	Lisa77	2	355	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Feeling a little resentful today (Preview) I previously posted that I have decided to divorce my AH. He has been sober for about 15 months. We haved not lived together since last April, and we now have a 2 month old daughter. It's HARD taking care of a newborn alone. I would like to clean the house today, but it's hard to do anything when taking care o...	stopandchat	5	474	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing... (Preview) I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: "Risk - Risking is about t...	Doozy	6	447	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Making a choice (Preview) In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...	orchidlover	8	434	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	I'm Brand New To This (Preview) Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...	MidwesternMom	6	392	Jan 9, 2012 by MidwesternMom
	Today! (Preview) Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...	MelB	2	225	Jan 8, 2012 by Doozy
	First meeting! (Preview) I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...	MelB	7	348	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	HELP! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE! STAY OR GO? (Preview) To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...	Julie3310	9	406	Jan 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	acknowledging my defects - (Preview) This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...	amills4294	3	387	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How many years before you've wasted your life? (Preview) I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...	hummingbirdkerry	14	805	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	Having a rough time right now (Preview) About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...	Michelle814	9	579	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	update on busted now what (Preview) So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...	debbiems	6	447	Jan 8, 2012 by debbiems
	STEP WORK BOARD 4 TH STEP JUST POSTED (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...	hotrod	0	275	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...	Hoot Nanny	3	395	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	A closet drinker (Preview) I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...	ilovedogs	9	5024	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Ugh... wish I hadn't done that... (Preview) A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I hate sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...	atheos	4	352	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Busted.. now what (Preview) So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...	debbiems	7	418	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Is it a disease, or is my wife just evil? (Preview) I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...	usedtobeanyer	10	917	Jan 7, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	How to balance support/reality for AH in recovery (Preview) My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...	hummingbirdkerry	12	354	Jan 7, 2012 by Caramelle
	Courage to change reading for today (Preview) There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...	Jean4444	8	27038	Jan 7, 2012 by graciet
	I am scared and frustrated and feeling empty!! (Preview) Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...	MelB	11	525	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Paranoid and immature (Preview) I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...	Not Alone	6	531	Jan 7, 2012 by Not Alone
	Why is smoking the lesser evil? (Preview) I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...	Lost survivor	15	659	Jan 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Our alcoholic son is living with us (Preview) I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...	cypressmom	13	5470	Jan 6, 2012 by cypressmom
	Open Meeting (Preview) It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...	Pushka	6	266	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	New (Preview) I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...	Lisa77	9	524	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	New here and going crazy (Preview) Hi everyone, My Fiance of 2 years is an alcoholic, he has been arrested for abusing me and the last time he went to jail for 3 months. When he's sober he's great when he's drinking he's angry. He tries to hide alcohol and I find it, he drinks and blacks out and ends up leaving or fighting with me. He is going t...	Ame	4	410	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	I'm baaaacck (Preview) Hi guys I am back. Back from holidays, back at work, and back from having to renew my internet account and access and then losing all my passwords hahahaha. Cairns was great. We went up to the Daintree rainforrest, world heritage area, and we went to Kuranda on the tablelands (more rainforest), and t...	Lindaoakford	7	451	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	Dreading Saturday (Preview) So this morning, I found out my fiance (who came home at 230 last night) left an empty wine bottle, two empty coke packets and an empty can of beer in our movie room. I'm glad I found that stuff before the kids did. I have spoken to his family, all of whom agrees he needs rehab. I told him that I loved him but tha...	Jules67	7	370	Jan 6, 2012 by never going back
	my alanon birthday! (Preview) Yesterday was my alanon birthday--I shared it at a meeting w/ my friends & the lady I sponsor. She is still calling me her sponsor-yay! Anyhow, I have been in the program for 26 years now. I am so grateful today & happier in some ways than I have ever been in my life. I have gone through a lot since my...	Hoot Nanny	6	348	Jan 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Direct Quote (Preview) I know this book is conference approved so I'm pretty sure I can quote this one, it's from Delimna of the Alcoholic Marriage pg 81. It's in regards to step 4, this was a light bulb moment for me this morning so I wanted to share "I have done my best and it isn't good enough. Now I know I need the help of a p...	Jackie11	4	438	Jan 6, 2012 by hotrod
	Second Meeting!!! SSOO EXCITED (Preview) So I just got home from my second meeting and it went GREAT! I opened up a little and it felt good to relate to others and my thoughts about things be heard. I was so happy that I had the chance to be there. We read through some of the Alanon material and I loved reading then discussing what it meant to us. I thou...	MelB	1	270	Jan 6, 2012 by danni
	have become over cautious (Preview) a few days ago my children and I went for a walk along a bush track that lead up to a waterfall. The walk was beautiful (in the australian bush). We got to an area about half way up and there was a place to swim, but our goal was to get to the top. So we continued up the track. It became narrow and I panicked that o...	lightblue2	3	340	Jan 6, 2012 by Too hard
	Feelings of panic and guilt (Preview) I have taken the first step into healing myself I hope. I have lived on and off with my partner for 8 years this 19th decemebr 2011. He has bashed me causing 24 stitches in my head leaving me in a pool of blood oblivious to the fact that i was hurt. when he found out he denied he was at fault saying i drove him to...	kwinanachick	7	594	Jan 6, 2012 by Pushka
	Releasing my anger (Preview) I'm disappointed, frustrated, and angry right now. I know that if I confront AH about anything that he'll just deny, placate me, lie about amounts, etc. He'll justify his actions, he'll downplay the situation making me seem like the crazy one. And, I'll just get caught in his trap and I'll be the on...	ilovedogs	5	571	Jan 5, 2012 by ilovedogs
	How far into sobriety can we start having children? (Preview) I feel so confused- I want to be with my husband more than anyone else in the world, and he happens to be an alcoholic. We are young, have been together for 6 and a half years but only married for six months, and would love to have children one day. My husband is only on day three of his 90 straight days at AA, wh...	hummingbirdkerry	12	586	Jan 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Journaling... (Preview) "One of the best ways I know to get in touch with myself," a woman explained, "is to write my thoughts and feelings. When I express my reactions to the happenings of life - in the privacy of a journal - I can more easily sort out and work through my positive and negative feelings. A journal...	glad lee	2	2912	Jan 5, 2012 by hotrod
	New to Al-Anon and struggling with program concepts (Preview) Just 30 minutes ago me and my AH got into an argument because I made a comment about how much soda he drinks...it was such a minor little thing and in my mind I justify stuff like that as what we do because we love someone. You want to support them and help them stay healthy, but he took it as me analyzing every...	Lost survivor	5	650	Jan 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Been MIA from Alanon (Preview) Hi everyone and Happy New Year to you all. I wish everyone good health, peace and serenity in 2012. Let me just pick up where I think I left off. A son got his 3rd dui the end of July. Either this was his bottom or else AA took hold of him this time. He was fortunate enough to walk into a meeting on a Monday evenin...	Gailey	4	347	Jan 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Death By A Million Paper Cuts (Preview) Do you ever feel like it isn't any one BIG thing that is just going to make you lose it, but the constant little ones? At work, busy, phone rings, it's my AH. The college program he got into and is starting next week just let him know one of his immunizations needs to be updated. Well he was LIVID, bitching...	surfgirl123	7	396	Jan 5, 2012 by hummingbirdkerry
	Coming to More Realizations About my Childhood (Preview) I went over my Mom's today mainly to eat dinner because I am down to seven dollars and I need gas to get to and from work. This is why I love my Mom. She is the best Mom in the world in a million ways and if i could go back when I was a floating soul or whatever we are before we're born I would have picked her for my M...	Michelle814	6	385	Jan 5, 2012 by hummingbirdkerry
	Decisions I've made and AH trying to make me feel guilty. (Preview) This is more of a venting session because I know there aren't really answers that can be provided. But what do you do when your AH gets angry for the decisions you made? He's been sober for 2 weeks now and he got really upset when I said the reason I was coming back to town in a couple weeks was because of work,...	LostMama31	7	563	Jan 5, 2012 by hummingbirdkerry
	654 Users in the Last 24 hours... (Preview) Wow...if you look at the stats at the bottom of the page, 654 people have used this site in the last 24 hours... I am one of them, and it IS a miracle, the phenomenon that is happening here. What is so cool for me ...and different than a f2f meeting...is that I can read, and re-read the things that speak to me....	rehprof	2	341	Jan 5, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	I've decided to divorce (Preview) I really feel like I just need to cut my losses and move on with my life. My AH has been sober for over a year, however, he is still very much an alcoholic. All that's gone is the drink. I have simply had enough of it. We've been going to counseling, and I really wanted to try to make it work for the sake of our 8 we...	stopandchat	10	606	Jan 5, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	My 11 o'clock Inventory! (Preview) As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I ca...	MelB	5	597	Jan 5, 2012 by Pushka
	Anyone for some venting!? (Preview) Is it ok to overwhelm all of you with my problems? I found this site and it feels like the first time I've been able to get help. The help I desperately need. I look to you guys already. Even just reading other posts helps me to calm myself and realize that it's gonna take time. I'm currently frustrated bec...	MelB	6	516	Jan 5, 2012 by youfoundme
	This Side of the Veil (Preview) "Swims across the sea of life, breasting its waves joyfully" I get paid in two days and will actually be able to buy some groceries finally. This humbling experience of having no money has given me some new found insight. I watched a documentary where a whole world of people videotaped th...	Michelle814	7	627	Jan 5, 2012 by maryjane
	Acceptance and Letting Go (Preview) Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...	nyc018	8	1384	Jan 5, 2012 by stopandchat
	Unable to connect : java.net.ConnectException : Connection timed out: connect (Preview) I can't get in the meeting room	Lisa77	2	1214	Jan 5, 2012 by Lisa77
	I'm sorry! I need some help!!! Desperate! (Preview) I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...	MelB	7	610	Jan 5, 2012 by rehprof
	My lost little soul, my middle son, not so little. (Preview) He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...	wildthang86	2	404	Jan 4, 2012 by tweety23
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.