Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...

rehprof · rehprof

Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...

monkeymom · monkeymom

Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...

Tracy · Tracy

thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...

coachwork · coachwork

I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...

kris10 · kris10

So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...

KLotus · KLotus

I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

DISCLAIMER: Every single one of you have given me strength and support in your own way. Your stories have provided me with the strength to use it in my own battle. however, I want you guys to know that I write my stories with him to vent and just to get an outside prospective to get opinions to see if this is w...

danni · danni

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!! That's it. That's all I have to say this morning. sigh.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't think of much to say today but I am still grateful & somewhat content. I guess I always think that I should have something profound to say on here. To be honest, my life is pretty basic. I get up & try to find good things to do for myself & others. I have a slow paced life. Sometimes I get bo...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage to Change January 9th I am always deeply touched by this page . Every year when it comes around, I find myself appreciating the words and thoughts more and more. For so many years I looked for outside approval to determine if my actions, my looks, my style was good enough. If that approval was...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night I didn't get home until very late. I had to work my restaurant job and then I had to stop at the store. Baby girl's birthday is today and we are having just family over for birthday cookie and ice cream. I had to pick up the stuff to make the cookie as well as other odds and ends. When I got home my AH wa...

MelB · MelB

Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...

philli · philli

I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...

lindaw · lindaw

What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

hi all, i am hurting alot right now so i thought i would share it here with you guys. i asked my abf to leave new years day. just when i thought i was ready to accept certain things, i noticed as we were going to bed he was trying to hide mor...

kris10 · kris10

Ugh i wrote all this out once before and i lost it somehow.. If you dont know me i have an Abf whom i recently had to kick out for him to live on the streets.. He was gone 2 weeks and i did let him back because he paid me and my son back what he owed us.. (most of it to me not all) progress not perfection right.. Anywa...

odalis · odalis

So as usual my husband was drunk the other day and wanted to disagree with everything I was saying so I politely ignored him and came to bed to watch TV. That night he woke me up and I was so annoued he would wake me up at 1 am...but in his drunken self he told me he wants to go to AA. Of course he was drunk nut the fa...

debbiems · debbiems

I just posted about getting busted.. I was told when he was in treatment that if he was to be slipping that it was my responsibility to call his PO. My question is. is that getting in his way? Any ideas on the subject would be greatly valued Debbiems

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

From my other post yesterday, many of you have read that my AH was drunk at 6 AM. My son had a friend sleeping over and I found myself angry at him for being in that condition when the boys were just in the other room. I know that if the boy's mother found out about my AH's strange behavior, she would probabl...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

Am five days into working step 1......I find myself repeating and rereading several times a day...Am staying positive, changing my thought prosess. I am working really hard not to worry, and to no I can not change things, I can change the way I handle things.. Have alot of stress, insicurities I am...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I previously posted that I have decided to divorce my AH. He has been sober for about 15 months. We haved not lived together since last April, and we now have a 2 month old daughter. It's HARD taking care of a newborn alone. I would like to clean the house today, but it's hard to do anything when taking care o...

Doozy · Doozy

I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: "Risk - Risking is about t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...

MelB · MelB

Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...

MelB · MelB

I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...

amills4294 · amills4294

This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...

debbiems · debbiems

So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...

atheos · atheos

A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I *hate* sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...

debbiems · debbiems

So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...

MelB · MelB

Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...

Not Alone · Not Alone

I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...

Lost survivor · Lost survivor

I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...

cypressmom · cypressmom

I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...

Pushka · Pushka

It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Al-Anon is my Drug of Choice (Preview) At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...	Green Eyes	7	659	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	The "danger" of the program... (Preview) ...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...	Very Very Tired	5	605	Jan 11, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	New Year (Preview) LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...	Pushka	6	553	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	now what? (Preview) Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...	Not Alone	6	424	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	That, too, had passed (Preview) Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...	Michelle814	6	493	Jan 10, 2012 by kris10
	I am ending my relationship, how should I tell him? I Want a sponsor too! (Preview) so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...	Julie3310	5	516	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dirty Water (Preview) Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...	rehprof	9	1395	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Satisfaction (Preview) My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...	Michelle814	5	550	Jan 10, 2012 by sookie
	6th psychologist appointment (Preview) I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...	Lindaoakford	4	372	Jan 10, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	He left this morning (Preview) Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...	monkeymom	7	470	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	issues, issues, issues! (Preview) I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...	Hoot Nanny	1	338	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	Spouse not an A but other addictive/compulsive behaviors (Preview) My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...	amills4294	1	515	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	having hope (Preview) My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...	kimberlyrt	4	423	Jan 10, 2012 by rrib
	team work/tradition one (Preview) thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...	Tracy	2	513	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Coming to grips with the anger I felt today (Preview) My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...	usedtobeanyer	10	527	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Weddings...should qualifier come? Mother Wedding (Preview) I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...	coachwork	13	8940	Jan 10, 2012 by glad lee
	Documenting everything... (Preview) So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...	kris10	16	584	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Financial dilemma - HELP please! (Preview) I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...	KLotus	16	654	Jan 10, 2012 by suzieblue
	family years (Preview) good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...	MeTwo2	5	681	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Recognising Alcoholism as the Disease it is .. (Preview) someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...	MeTwo2	8	570	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Sick and tired of being sick and tired! but this is my breakthrough! (Preview) DISCLAIMER: Every single one of you have given me strength and support in your own way. Your stories have provided me with the strength to use it in my own battle. however, I want you guys to know that I write my stories with him to vent and just to get an outside prospective to get opinions to see if this is w...	Julie3310	12	491	Jan 9, 2012 by Julie3310
	Door left unlocked AGAIN! (Preview) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!! That's it. That's all I have to say this morning. sigh.	danni	9	424	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	can't think of much to say (Preview) I can't think of much to say today but I am still grateful & somewhat content. I guess I always think that I should have something profound to say on here. To be honest, my life is pretty basic. I get up & try to find good things to do for myself & others. I have a slow paced life. Sometimes I get bo...	Hoot Nanny	2	291	Jan 9, 2012 by Jerry F
	Today's Courage to Change (Preview) Courage to Change January 9th I am always deeply touched by this page . Every year when it comes around, I find myself appreciating the words and thoughts more and more. For so many years I looked for outside approval to determine if my actions, my looks, my style was good enough. If that approval was...	hotrod	3	487	Jan 9, 2012 by amills4294
	Checking my motive (Preview) Last night I didn't get home until very late. I had to work my restaurant job and then I had to stop at the store. Baby girl's birthday is today and we are having just family over for birthday cookie and ice cream. I had to pick up the stuff to make the cookie as well as other odds and ends. When I got home my AH wa...	Jackie11	9	1049	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	My promise for today! (Preview) Good morning friends! I feel like when I post on here it helps me to keep focused on what my goal is for that day! I have school work today. School just started back up for me and I take all my classes online. I haven't had much to do since the break from school for the holiday. I think that helped me go all crazy...	MelB	3	400	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Roots of my whachamacalit (Preview) I had a movie playing while I worked this afternoon about a woman married to an abusive man, lots of kids, depression era type of thing, set in sweden I think, it had subtitles anyway. One scene - the mom and all the kids are in the kitchen giving one a bath and doing various things, dad comes home drunk and f...	likemyheart	5	441	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	relationship (Preview) I am not really sure how to use posts. I have been in a realationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend has been sober for 3 years, we get on great but it seems he only sticks to something for a few weeks and then changes his mind and that includes us moving in together and he always has an excuse but turns it aro...	philli	2	402	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	What should I do when my daughter calls from a liquor store with 8 months sobrity? (Preview) What should I say or do when my A daughter (42) calls to say she doesn't believe she really is an A and that she can prove it by just taking one or two drinks? Her husband has threatened to leave her if she does and she's already been to the liquor store and probably has had the drink. What is the best approach...	lindaw	13	559	Jan 9, 2012 by lindaw
	in so very much pain (Preview) hi all, i am hurting alot right now so i thought i would share it here with you guys. i asked my abf to leave new years day. just when i thought i was ready to accept certain things, i noticed as we were going to bed he was trying to hide mor...	serenityseeker1	7	631	Jan 9, 2012 by orchidlover
	Keeping my own side clean... (Preview) Ugh i wrote all this out once before and i lost it somehow.. If you dont know me i have an Abf whom i recently had to kick out for him to live on the streets.. He was gone 2 weeks and i did let him back because he paid me and my son back what he owed us.. (most of it to me not all) progress not perfection right.. Anywa...	kris10	15	428	Jan 9, 2012 by danni
	AH says he wants AA (Preview) So as usual my husband was drunk the other day and wanted to disagree with everything I was saying so I politely ignored him and came to bed to watch TV. That night he woke me up and I was so annoued he would wake me up at 1 am...but in his drunken self he told me he wants to go to AA. Of course he was drunk nut the fa...	odalis	6	379	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	should I call his PO? (Preview) I just posted about getting busted.. I was told when he was in treatment that if he was to be slipping that it was my responsibility to call his PO. My question is. is that getting in his way? Any ideas on the subject would be greatly valued Debbiems	debbiems	12	385	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Do I confront or keep quiet (Preview) From my other post yesterday, many of you have read that my AH was drunk at 6 AM. My son had a friend sleeping over and I found myself angry at him for being in that condition when the boys were just in the other room. I know that if the boy's mother found out about my AH's strange behavior, she would probabl...	ilovedogs	10	732	Jan 9, 2012 by nyc018
	Step 1 (Preview) Am five days into working step 1......I find myself repeating and rereading several times a day...Am staying positive, changing my thought prosess. I am working really hard not to worry, and to no I can not change things, I can change the way I handle things.. Have alot of stress, insicurities I am...	Lisa77	2	415	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Feeling a little resentful today (Preview) I previously posted that I have decided to divorce my AH. He has been sober for about 15 months. We haved not lived together since last April, and we now have a 2 month old daughter. It's HARD taking care of a newborn alone. I would like to clean the house today, but it's hard to do anything when taking care o...	stopandchat	5	524	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing... (Preview) I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: "Risk - Risking is about t...	Doozy	6	498	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Making a choice (Preview) In my current situation I am in a dilemma at the part time job I have. To change to another status requires input by the union. Right now our union representative is about to go on a holiday (to the Carribean no less) for 2 weeks. Meantime I am left in limbo. I've asked him about this situation for about...	orchidlover	8	484	Jan 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	I'm Brand New To This (Preview) Hi Everybody I am brand new to this board. I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I have an alooholic and drug addicted husband. He had been sober for the past two and a half years. Suddenly about a month ago, I noticed changes. I was pretty sure he was getting h...	MidwesternMom	6	447	Jan 9, 2012 by MidwesternMom
	Today! (Preview) Today I'm going to be stronger than I was in the past. I'm going to walk in my life with my head high because it doesn't matter who loves me. I am only working on loving myself. I've tried to do it other ways. I've tried looking for my self worth in others and it's not work out so well. I'm sick today, I'm mental...	MelB	2	280	Jan 8, 2012 by Doozy
	First meeting! (Preview) I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...	MelB	7	402	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	HELP! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE! STAY OR GO? (Preview) To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...	Julie3310	9	458	Jan 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	acknowledging my defects - (Preview) This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...	amills4294	3	444	Jan 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How many years before you've wasted your life? (Preview) I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...	hummingbirdkerry	14	862	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	Having a rough time right now (Preview) About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...	Michelle814	9	635	Jan 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	update on busted now what (Preview) So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...	debbiems	6	518	Jan 8, 2012 by debbiems
	STEP WORK BOARD 4 TH STEP JUST POSTED (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...	hotrod	0	327	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...	Hoot Nanny	3	469	Jan 8, 2012 by hotrod
	A closet drinker (Preview) I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...	ilovedogs	9	5419	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Ugh... wish I hadn't done that... (Preview) A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I hate sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...	atheos	4	403	Jan 7, 2012 by Debilyn
	Busted.. now what (Preview) So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...	debbiems	7	472	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Is it a disease, or is my wife just evil? (Preview) I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...	usedtobeanyer	10	971	Jan 7, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	How to balance support/reality for AH in recovery (Preview) My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...	hummingbirdkerry	12	408	Jan 7, 2012 by Caramelle
	Courage to change reading for today (Preview) There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...	Jean4444	8	27331	Jan 7, 2012 by graciet
	I am scared and frustrated and feeling empty!! (Preview) Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...	MelB	11	583	Jan 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Paranoid and immature (Preview) I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...	Not Alone	6	580	Jan 7, 2012 by Not Alone
	Why is smoking the lesser evil? (Preview) I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...	Lost survivor	15	712	Jan 7, 2012 by hotrod
	Our alcoholic son is living with us (Preview) I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...	cypressmom	13	5891	Jan 6, 2012 by cypressmom
	Open Meeting (Preview) It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...	Pushka	6	318	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	New (Preview) I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...	Lisa77	9	583	Jan 6, 2012 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.