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First meeting!
(Preview)
I went to my first meeting today! I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach seemed to consume me. I didn't even know if I was in the right place. I walked in and asked someone. "Excuse me, I'm looking for the Al-anon meeting". The answer I got, "your in the right place" with an o...
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MelB
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7
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327
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HELP! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE! STAY OR GO?
(Preview)
To add to my new year's resolution I have been starting to go on the chats online. I plan to start going to the meetings next week. Since me and him have limited calls since he is in jail. We have been spacing it out a couple days apart. Today was the first day in a while that I enjoyed myself and hardly thought...
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Julie3310
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9
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387
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acknowledging my defects -
(Preview)
This is one thing that is not that difficult for me... I know what my "defects" are it's learning how to deal with them and overcome them that's my issue. My biggest one is really knowing what it is I want/need and being willing to act on those wants/needs. It was drilled into me for so long as...
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amills4294
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3
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366
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How many years before you've wasted your life?
(Preview)
I am new to this- and so thankful for it. I feel like I ask the questions no one can answer but myself, yet I can't seem to answer them. How long should I wait for my husband to become sober? A friend reminded me the other night that I told her it would be worth it to marry my husband, even though I knew he was an al...
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hummingbirdkerry
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14
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783
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Having a rough time right now
(Preview)
About to lose it. Stressed out and depressed. Starting feeling this way yesterday. I don't want to be around people b/c no one understand me. at all. My whole family parties and drinks. My cousin wants me to come visit her, her birthday was wednesday. I do want to see her and my other cousins but the pr...
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Michelle814
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9
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554
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update on busted now what
(Preview)
So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached ou...
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debbiems
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6
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421
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STEP WORK BOARD 4 TH STEP JUST POSTED
(Preview)
Good Morning MIP Family.Just a reminder---The Alanon, AA, ACOA and NA sections of this Board have been working the Steps on the Step work Board. We are up to Step 3 and today I will post Step 4. I found this a very helpful way to practice the Steps and share ideas.I know when I first came into program all my...
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hotrod
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0
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256
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Just for today
(Preview)
Just for today. I will be in the now. I will let things happen that I have no control over. I will change the things that I can. I will be satisfied; I may not be happy but hopefully I will have some serenity in this particular day that I am facing for only 24 hrs. Last night I struggled w/ sleep again. My mind wa...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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368
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A closet drinker
(Preview)
I had to share. This really isn't funny but I find humor in it anyway. The old closet drinker saying can officially apply to my AH now. In our new house, the office has a small walk in closet and that's where I have found AH drinking and also where he keeps his stash. How sad that he drinks in a small close...
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ilovedogs
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9
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4694
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Ugh... wish I hadn't done that...
(Preview)
A friend of mine was in town for the week, and had a fight with the people he was supposed to being staying with. So, being compulsively nice, I invited him to stay with me even though I *hate* sharing my living space with other people... So he showed up today, and it turns out he has a really bad cold. I don't...
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atheos
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4
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331
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Busted.. now what
(Preview)
So my adult son who is 22 living at home has been acting strangly foundout why he stole our "change jar" with about 30 in change. My husband was so angry that he went through his room which we haven't done since he got out of treatment found emty booze bottles home made pot pipes. Ugh! do we call h...
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debbiems
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7
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388
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Is it a disease, or is my wife just evil?
(Preview)
I know the answer to this, although I struggle with the concept sometimes and I'm sure others do as well. My wife has done some horrible things in the last 2 years--to me, to herself, and to a lesser extent, to our children. I won't list them here, I'm sure it's consistent with what all of you experience. M...
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usedtobeanyer
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10
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895
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How to balance support/reality for AH in recovery
(Preview)
My husband is on day 6 now of sobriety and is attending "90 AA meetings in 90 days"... I have never seen him so committed to the program, or take this much initiative to change. He encourages me to go to Alanon, has reached out to a pastor to keep him accountable, and I have been really proud of...
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hummingbirdkerry
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12
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332
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Courage to change reading for today
(Preview)
There is such an awesome reading for March 25th in Courage to Change. I am not going to write it all out but I am going to summarize it because I think its super important. Its about what is mine and what is NOT mine. And how confused we are about that. What is mine (KEEP MY FOCUS ON ME):Be loyal to my values (...
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Jean4444
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8
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26824
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I am scared and frustrated and feeling empty!!
(Preview)
Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads. I will track them down and expose their unreality. I will remind myself that God is in charge of me and mind and that I have only to accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me to...
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MelB
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11
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504
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Paranoid and immature
(Preview)
I have been with my ABF for almost 2 1/2 years. Just over a year ago he became suspicious of me cheating. There was no reason to even consider that possibility - it was his mind from the drinking. He went to great lengths to try and catch me at it. It was disturbing for me and very hurtful to know that he suspe...
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Not Alone
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6
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511
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Why is smoking the lesser evil?
(Preview)
I am new to al-anon. I have attended 2-3 meetings in the past, but not on a regular basis, but I recently have realized that I need to reach out for support. My AH has been working the program and sober for 2 years, but recently I learned that he has started smoking. My 9 yr old daughter walked in on him smokin...
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Lost survivor
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15
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625
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Our alcoholic son is living with us
(Preview)
I am new on this site. I just joined today. My 37 yr. old son has moved back with us since last Oct. after his gf threw him out of her apt. They had been fighting off & on for last couple of years. I'm sure most of the fighting was due to his drinking problem. We have heard from some of his friends that h...
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cypressmom
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13
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5088
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Open Meeting
(Preview)
It was a great open AA meeting I hope I'm not breaking any major taboo by sharing some of what I learned tonight. The speaker was amazing 20 years of sobriety. What I found so fascinating is their description of literally once they decided to stop drinking they never had another drink in fact in the fir...
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Pushka
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6
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250
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New
(Preview)
I am new here, but not "new" to life living with achoholism. As far back as I can remember it has been affecting life. My grandpa died of liver failure b4 I even got to know him. I have no real memories of him. My dad my brother and two cousins also have the disease. I was married for 27 years t...
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Lisa77
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9
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499
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New here and going crazy
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
My Fiance of 2 years is an alcoholic, he has been arrested for abusing me and the last time he went to jail for 3 months. When he's sober he's great when he's drinking he's angry. He tries to hide alcohol and I find it, he drinks and blacks out and ends up leaving or fighting with me. He is going t...
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Ame
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4
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390
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I'm baaaacck
(Preview)
Hi guys I am back. Back from holidays, back at work, and back from having to renew my internet account and access and then losing all my passwords hahahaha. Cairns was great. We went up to the Daintree rainforrest, world heritage area, and we went to Kuranda on the tablelands (more rainforest), and t...
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Lindaoakford
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7
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422
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Dreading Saturday
(Preview)
So this morning, I found out my fiance (who came home at 230 last night) left an empty wine bottle, two empty coke packets and an empty can of beer in our movie room. I'm glad I found that stuff before the kids did. I have spoken to his family, all of whom agrees he needs rehab. I told him that I loved him but tha...
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Jules67
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7
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352
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my alanon birthday!
(Preview)
Yesterday was my alanon birthday--I shared it at a meeting w/ my friends & the lady I sponsor. She is still calling me her sponsor-yay! Anyhow, I have been in the program for 26 years now. I am so grateful today & happier in some ways than I have ever been in my life. I have gone through a lot since my...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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315
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Direct Quote
(Preview)
I know this book is conference approved so I'm pretty sure I can quote this one, it's from Delimna of the Alcoholic Marriage pg 81. It's in regards to step 4, this was a light bulb moment for me this morning so I wanted to share "I have done my best and it isn't good enough. Now I know I need the help of a p...
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Jackie11
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4
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413
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Second Meeting!!! SSOO EXCITED
(Preview)
So I just got home from my second meeting and it went GREAT! I opened up a little and it felt good to relate to others and my thoughts about things be heard. I was so happy that I had the chance to be there. We read through some of the Alanon material and I loved reading then discussing what it meant to us. I thou...
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MelB
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1
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237
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have become over cautious
(Preview)
a few days ago my children and I went for a walk along a bush track that lead up to a waterfall. The walk was beautiful (in the australian bush). We got to an area about half way up and there was a place to swim, but our goal was to get to the top. So we continued up the track. It became narrow and I panicked that o...
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lightblue2
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3
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320
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Feelings of panic and guilt
(Preview)
I have taken the first step into healing myself I hope. I have lived on and off with my partner for 8 years this 19th decemebr 2011. He has bashed me causing 24 stitches in my head leaving me in a pool of blood oblivious to the fact that i was hurt. when he found out he denied he was at fault saying i drove him to...
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kwinanachick
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7
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569
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Releasing my anger
(Preview)
I'm disappointed, frustrated, and angry right now. I know that if I confront AH about anything that he'll just deny, placate me, lie about amounts, etc. He'll justify his actions, he'll downplay the situation making me seem like the crazy one. And, I'll just get caught in his trap and I'll be the on...
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ilovedogs
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5
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544
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How far into sobriety can we start having children?
(Preview)
I feel so confused- I want to be with my husband more than anyone else in the world, and he happens to be an alcoholic. We are young, have been together for 6 and a half years but only married for six months, and would love to have children one day. My husband is only on day three of his 90 straight days at AA, wh...
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hummingbirdkerry
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12
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562
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Journaling...
(Preview)
"One of the best ways I know to get in touch with myself," a woman explained, "is to write my thoughts and feelings. When I express my reactions to the happenings of life - in the privacy of a journal - I can more easily sort out and work through my positive and negative feelings. A journal...
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glad lee
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2
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2744
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New to Al-Anon and struggling with program concepts
(Preview)
Just 30 minutes ago me and my AH got into an argument because I made a comment about how much soda he drinks...it was such a minor little thing and in my mind I justify stuff like that as what we do because we love someone. You want to support them and help them stay healthy, but he took it as me analyzing every...
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Lost survivor
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5
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620
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Been MIA from Alanon
(Preview)
Hi everyone and Happy New Year to you all. I wish everyone good health, peace and serenity in 2012. Let me just pick up where I think I left off. A son got his 3rd dui the end of July. Either this was his bottom or else AA took hold of him this time. He was fortunate enough to walk into a meeting on a Monday evenin...
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Gailey
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4
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326
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Death By A Million Paper Cuts
(Preview)
Do you ever feel like it isn't any one BIG thing that is just going to make you lose it, but the constant little ones? At work, busy, phone rings, it's my AH. The college program he got into and is starting next week just let him know one of his immunizations needs to be updated. Well he was LIVID, bitching...
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surfgirl123
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7
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375
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Coming to More Realizations About my Childhood
(Preview)
I went over my Mom's today mainly to eat dinner because I am down to seven dollars and I need gas to get to and from work. This is why I love my Mom. She is the best Mom in the world in a million ways and if i could go back when I was a floating soul or whatever we are before we're born I would have picked her for my M...
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Michelle814
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6
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362
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Decisions I've made and AH trying to make me feel guilty.
(Preview)
This is more of a venting session because I know there aren't really answers that can be provided. But what do you do when your AH gets angry for the decisions you made? He's been sober for 2 weeks now and he got really upset when I said the reason I was coming back to town in a couple weeks was because of work,...
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LostMama31
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7
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537
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654 Users in the Last 24 hours...
(Preview)
Wow...if you look at the stats at the bottom of the page, 654 people have used this site in the last 24 hours... I am one of them, and it IS a miracle, the phenomenon that is happening here. What is so cool for me ...and different than a f2f meeting...is that I can read, and re-read the things that speak to me....
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rehprof
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2
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322
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I've decided to divorce
(Preview)
I really feel like I just need to cut my losses and move on with my life. My AH has been sober for over a year, however, he is still very much an alcoholic. All that's gone is the drink. I have simply had enough of it. We've been going to counseling, and I really wanted to try to make it work for the sake of our 8 we...
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stopandchat
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10
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583
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My 11 o'clock Inventory!
(Preview)
As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I ca...
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MelB
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5
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574
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Anyone for some venting!?
(Preview)
Is it ok to overwhelm all of you with my problems? I found this site and it feels like the first time I've been able to get help. The help I desperately need. I look to you guys already. Even just reading other posts helps me to calm myself and realize that it's gonna take time. I'm currently frustrated bec...
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MelB
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6
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494
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This Side of the Veil
(Preview)
"Swims across the sea of life, breasting its waves joyfully" I get paid in two days and will actually be able to buy some groceries finally. This humbling experience of having no money has given me some new found insight. I watched a documentary where a whole world of people videotaped th...
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Michelle814
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7
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595
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Acceptance and Letting Go
(Preview)
Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...
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nyc018
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8
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1359
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Unable to connect : java.net.ConnectException : Connection timed out: connect
(Preview)
I can't get in the meeting room
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Lisa77
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2
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1189
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I'm sorry! I need some help!!! Desperate!
(Preview)
I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...
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MelB
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7
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588
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My lost little soul, my middle son, not so little.
(Preview)
He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...
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wildthang86
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2
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381
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Alcoholism
(Preview)
Being part of MIP and Al - Anon for the short period I have, I have learned a lot about alcoholism as a disease.
My question is if you see your A, showing wrong behavior that is not conducive to recovery. Should you call them out on it or let it go. They will work out their own recovery?
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ttpurtee
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6
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531
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Update for Prayers
(Preview)
My husbands mom is suppose to be getting out of the hospital today. God love him because he just left to go and get her. It is 4pm I am expecting kids at 5 and I'm not done yet .. lol. Of course .. LOL .. she doesn't call to let him know she's getting out the poor guy just got out of work at 3pm got home at 330pm and...
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Pushka
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1
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359
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Goodbye 2011
(Preview)
So in 2011 I had two miscarriages, had a close friend die, my husband relapse and find out I was lied to, then my husband relapse again overdose and almost die in front of me, then my husband went to rehab for three weeks. It was the best year of my life. Why? Because I have discovered that these trials tha...
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Michelle814
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15
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343
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HELP-chat
(Preview)
I don't know how to get into the chat room? It shows a box but says something about the java script being expired or something?? I would really like to have someone to chat with through the day. I wish there was an app for cells to allow chatting. I need as much support as possible. Please help if you can. Th...
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MelB
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2
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299
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Radical Acceptance
(Preview)
Just wanted to share a book / resource that has been of great help to me... Tara Brach is a buddhist teacher...but uses teachings from all religions in her work... She has free podcasts on itunes, and a couple on her website. I have all her podcasts, and often listen to them in the car.... what has been awe...
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rehprof
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3
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409
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I need to be in control!
(Preview)
It's a new day! I slept ok. Only one nightmare last night. Do those ever stop? I don't know if I can handle them much longer. They are like reality for me. I wake up sobbing and even though I know they are just dreams they rock my world. Now at 8:49am I have forgotten the dream except that he needs a sponser. I...
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MelB
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8
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431
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Visitation question .. Angry Sigh :-/
(Preview)
So, I made a Big post earlier but i couldn't type so easy and just couldn't get me to cut it down to size; would of taken too long so i threw it out here and let it be what it is .. it's on feelings & manipulation .. My daughter is supposed to visit with her dad on Sundays .. Last Sunday he called to cancel beca...
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MeTwo2
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3
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316
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My problems
(Preview)
It's funny. I'm reading things online about "putting him in the back of my mind" and "stop trying to tell him how to recover" etc.. and it's making tears swell up in my eyes. I do all the things on these lists. I want to change these things about myself and I consider how to attach the...
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MelB
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10
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482
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any body there
(Preview)
think it might have been too long but can't get beyond the thought that I may not have got to be me 13 years on.............could do with some help. My mom is the alcoholic may years of vivid memories in an not un well off family but is money the issue when your a child and then an adult with child memories. Sh...
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Peniv
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12
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494
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My heart is broken
(Preview)
My alcoholic husband and I are separating, and I am heartbroken. I feel like I am dying inside; I don't know what to do with the pain. My mother died 3 months ago, my husband is in despair, and I love him, but I cannot live with him anymore. He is unpredictable, and it hurts too much, and he recognizes thi...
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Iris lover of dogs
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20
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742
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New
(Preview)
I'm new to this group. I have been stuggling with the idea of coming to Al anon. Not because I don't think I need it but because I so obsessed with my boyfriends recovery that I forgot to think about my own. He isn't making me focus on him. He has also asked for me to find help. I don't mean to over load the forum...
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MelB
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4
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508
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Stealing?
(Preview)
Happy New Year, everyone! :) Yesterday I discovered that I would not be getting my expected end of the year $6,000 in health savings reimbursements - because my alcoholic husband had submitted the receipts, intercepted my checks in the mail, and deposited them in his band account. This is one of a nu...
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KLotus
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4
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533
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Feelings Update:: Thank You .. Grattitude For You ..
(Preview)
I went to my meeting last night and had the woman follow me out of the meeting .. I shared on Feelings .. and my mother who is 87 and my family, etc.. I was so in the spin .. the topic was joy .. i sat feeling vulnerable recognising that in my family my siblings and parents would sit at the table and if things were...
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MeTwo2
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3
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383
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Drowning in Feelings !
(Preview)
So, I went to a meeting tonight because I was "Feeling" So bad .. I walked in and the 4 others were joyful, being positive .. I thought Here I am again .. So, I said .. Hi .. I'm Debbie .. Downer .. everyone knows me though but i said here i am tonight .. Another monday and another rough night .. I &...
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MeTwo2
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9
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652
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My mother
(Preview)
My mother is 87 years old .. I'm so afraid to post on her because I'm feeling the shame of she's old, just forgive her and forget it .. be with her now while you can .. someday she'll be gone .. Believe me, these are messages I have told myself .. but in Not sharing there is less of me to be with her in the days she h...
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MeTwo2
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6
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492
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