The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
think it might have been too long but can't get beyond the thought that I may not have got to be me 13 years on.............could do with some help.
My mom is the alcoholic may years of vivid memories in an not un well off family but is money the issue when your a child and then an adult with child memories.
She has been through rehab and we were at part of it but then it was all over.
Tried to confront her once at home as a child and was dismissed, the next big time after I had left home was with my Still partner to tell her that she should be a better grandmother than mother, what away to find out at 2/3 in the morning.
Sorry rambling...never even started to get it all down don't know how to do this
-- Edited by Peniv on Monday 2nd of January 2012 09:22:06 PM
-- Edited by Peniv on Monday 2nd of January 2012 09:23:26 PM
-- Edited by Peniv on Monday 2nd of January 2012 09:23:53 PM
I don't know really, just feel lost and like I have never resloved it all.
My Mom said to me once not long after I had my second son and an arguement that She couldn't appologise for the rest of her life. I never heard it once even in rehab.
I am so sorry that you are having such difficulty Growing up in an alcoholic home causes such pain and uncertainty!!!. This pain, fear, anger, resentment and self pity sink deep within or being and remain well into adulthood. Sharing what is in your mind and heart helps to heal the pain we are carrying. Please try to shar
Alcoholism is a disease over which you are powerless. The best you can do for mom and yourself is seek help so that you can recover from the effects of living with this.
Look for alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend Come here often and share You are not alone
There is Hope
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 2nd of January 2012 09:36:55 PM
Peniv, I will never hear my father apologize for hurting me, but I am at peace with him. I have resolved the issues of my childhood with him. My work on myself to do this is what has freed me from the past. I came to understand that it was not personal, my father did NOT hate me, I was NOT the cause of his pain and anger. and NOTHING i could ever do would change things (he had a really bad childhood himself). what a load off my back! It allowed me to see that my father loved me the best he could but he was only human; seeing the humanness of him set me free.
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
What you describe is a very understandable condition for all who have grown up with the disease of alcoholism We need to find new tools to help us let go of the old anger, sadness, resentment and fear.
Alanon can give you those tools We have a chat room here that you can visit and remain anon. Also we have on line meetings for you to just share.. It is so very important to break the silence-- break your inner walls and set your self free from t he past. You can then feel the joy of your current life.
Living One Day at a Time Not looking at the spat or the future, Focusing on taking care of ourselves, praying, trusting God and sharing our deepest secrets with otheres help to heal you.
Please keep sharing. You are woth it
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 2nd of January 2012 09:56:15 PM
(((peniv))) I can't relate to being a child of an alcoholic because I never had to deal with that. My problems with an alcoholic came recently and later in my life. But I know that loving an A can cause so much suffering at any point in one's life. All I can say is that you have found a good place to be here at MIP. Please feel free to share anytime. Our stories may be different, but in some ways they are all the same. Please keep coming back. You are not alone.
Hi Peniv - glad you are here. We are here to listen and offer support. I too am a child to a mom that is an alcoholic so I do identify with much of what you are expressing. I'm relatively new (5 months) to this board. It's helped me a lot. Please keep coming back!
