The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I can't help it.
I know what I have to do. I need to understand my HP, I need to let go and I need to have faith in my own program. I know, I'm really trying...I just want to keep saying it out loud. Is that wrong? It helps me feel on track. I have another meeting I'm going to tomorrow with my Mother. I'm hoping it's as good as the first. I felt good when I was there today. I need the "fellowship" if that's what it is called here.
I've gone to AA meetings, I have been there with him. When we get together on the weekends (he's 45 mins away, no car) we got to AA meetings together. I like it. I get to see it from both sides. I have learned things. I heard that there is a meeting by me that is held in the same place but downstairs is an AA meeting and upstairs there's the Al anon meeting...at the same time. He can do his thing, me mine. I wonder if that's true. Does that sound like anything anyone has ever heard of? I'm going to a meeting tmorrow so I hope to get a more local list of meetings instead of having to drive a hour to get to one.
Ok I hope I'm done for tonight. I don't know if I make any sense when I write these things out. I truthfully just type and I don't even look back. I know just what's in front of me. I wish I could apply the same concept to my life.
This is a great practice Mel...and you can name the places you've grown during your day. Remember the gratitudes when you do it. I'm not allowed to stay up late anymore so I'll be doing mine at 9 tonight. Thanks for the tool...(((((hugs)))))
I think its fabulous. Every Thursday I go to an Al-Anon meeting in one room and my AH goes to AA in another in the same building. I also go to lead meetings with him once in a while. Its not a regular thing but I would say I have, overall, been to many and I think lead meetings are a great way to get to understand the disease of alcoholism/addiction. They have helped me a great deal and its nice to go together to support him.
Was just reading a document on step One for people in aa and the man who wrote it Dennis F said something very profound and made me think of you.. "Besides women, I went through all human 'powers' I could: friends, doctors, teachers, family, loved ones. When there was no "false God" left that I could turn to I turned to a "Higher Power" I hardly believed inand while I was drunk I asked him for sobriety. And on that night... I walked away from a drunk without completing it. Miracles are impossible things that happen anyway."
I just think that that may be what you are experiencing now, in a sense. You are not sure about your higher power but youre turning to something. Just getting on these boards is a turn to a higher power.. I think 3,000 members with ESH is a higher power than facing it alone.
It took me time to discover what I now refer to as God, but I mentally prepared myself by getting to meetings and on here and talking without censor. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I believe that with people and I believe that with God.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Hi Mel, I started out with a higher power called Mother Nature. I don't understand how she works, but I can see that she does. So it is a power. Same thing with electricity. I don't understand it, but I know it is there. And I am grateful.
I also go to a meeting on Thurs. that is at a church and we have AlAnon in one room and AA in the room next door. We are trying to start an AlAteen meeting at the same time. There is another occasion that it happens at an Alano Club every week. I think it is a great idea.
Remember, though, that when you go to the AA meetings and hear how they handle the steps that it is not AlAnon. People go to AA to learn how to be "givers". We go to AlAnon to learn how to be "takers".
Thanks everyone. I LOVE reading the comments and it gives me great sense of HOPE. I can say that even though I'm not BETTER I feel better everyday since I've found a place to vent my anger and frustration and worry and hope and lol...I probably should of used a common or two there. Anyway maryjane- I never thought about it that way before-"we go to Alanon to learn how to be takers"-I like the sound of that. I hope my AB sees the changes in me as I do. I feel like he was so worried about me and my insanity (now that he's 1/4 sane lol) and pleasing me and making sure I felt ok about his or that that he was not doing all he could for his own sobriety. I see that now and I try to remember that everyday. I love him deeply but I need to learn how to love myself. Thanks again for all the comments and I really wish i could find a weekend meeting by me that did the same thing. I would love to go to my own meeting while he does his thing. I do enjoy AA meetings too, I get a feel for the disease.
I enjoy the open AA meetings because you are right it gives me a feel for how an addict things and what they focus on, the one I go to is a speaker meeting and it's so nice to watch people who are practicing recovery talk about what worked and didn't work for them. I enjoy the fact to that it is a tool I use with regular face to face meetings and this board here. It gives me hope and validation that I am not alone in my struggles with the affects of addiction.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
As I take an inventory of my day, I feel pretty good about it. I tried not to control everything. When I did put in my 2 sense (an expect it followed) I immediatley acknowleged it out loud! Even to him. I have to bring it "out" so that I can handle it. I have to see it and not deny it within myself. I can't help it. 