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Afterwards
(Preview)
Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie
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Otie
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5
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581
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Thinking Out Loud
(Preview)
My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...
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Green Eyes
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7
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436
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Tired of the useless obsessive thoughts want to start work ASAP
(Preview)
I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...
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HarleyQ
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6
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400
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EVERYONE, PLEASE READ
(Preview)
I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...
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GailMichelle
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5
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538
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Second meeting
(Preview)
I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...
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stefani74
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6
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275
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Just for today...
(Preview)
...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...
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Mlkiss75
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8
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274
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First Post
(Preview)
Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...
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Sally
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5
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487
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Lots of things
(Preview)
Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....
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Pushka
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7
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473
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5 things I like to do ..
(Preview)
AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...
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Pushka
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9
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779
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How to keep from getting "wrapped around the axle"
(Preview)
This is my favorite expression when I get so angry or upset that I have a hard time coming out of it... it just keeps building and building. Sometimes venting helps. Sometimes chanting the serenity prayer. Any other ESH on this would be appreciated. I'm wound pretty tight right now.
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amills4294
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7
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366
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Stuck and Need Ideas
(Preview)
So..as I navigate through this divorce process, trying to make ends meet as a single mom, keep a home, pay all the bills, provide support for my boys, and work 60+ hours a week...I am finding that I am still just tapped in terms of motivation and energy. makes me wonder, in general, how may of us experien...
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rehprof
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8
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763
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Steping forward...fingers crossed.
(Preview)
My husband agreed to enter into outpatient rehab and has finally admitted that he will never be able to drink alcohol responsibly. I am not returning home with our son until he is enrolled and has been to his first session. He wanted me to come home after promising to participate in treatment, but actio...
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Sreis44
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3
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362
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Walking Away
(Preview)
I am a 40 year old daughter of an alcoholic. I have been urged for many years to join al Al Anon group and have never had the courage. I found this message board online and really hope that it will help. My father is an alcoholic. He has been the majority of my life. I always thought he was the "fun&...
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Brandi
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4
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337
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Bad Week
(Preview)
I am feeling like I have control over my AH again at times. I have been acting as if he MUST stay sober. I think its because I am, once again, thinking of wanting children and I know if he relapses my life will be a living hell. Maybe Ill never be a mother. I wont leave him just so I can have children. What, w...
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Michelle814
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13
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576
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Growth...Whats Yours? :)
(Preview)
Last Night I went to My Meeting after a VERY LONG day, and when I got there, it was an Open Meeting were we choose a topic, and we chose one of our books to read from, and some where along the way ended up on the topic of Growth... I Can Not Speak for Anyone but me when it comes to Growth... I can say I have Seen Grow...
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Jozie
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6
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323
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triggers
(Preview)
Last Sunday I was triggered big time by my fear of abandonment, causing my character defects to go into full bloom. I was about to react in a way that would have harmed ME, I was about to end a very special relationship. My dis-ease had justified, rationalized and defended all the resentments going...
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glad lee
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5
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264
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Insurance policy
(Preview)
I want to ask my AH if we can get a supplemental insurance policy on him. My take on it is that if he continues to drink and take anti depressants, which can cause liver damage, then I think I have a right to ask for extra protection. Does this make sense? Could it possibly trigger his anger? I just feel so ins...
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ilovedogs
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7
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344
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Today reading 2/2/12
(Preview)
The reading talked about 3 obstacles to success, one being gossip. We found the other was dominance, does anybody know the other? The was in Hope for Today's reading.
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dorito
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1
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395
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Learn something new
(Preview)
This past Sunday I said good bye to one of my oldest friends so I've been feeling sad, I know that this too shall pass. I learned today that there is a search field and you can type in words and it pulls up the search. I always noticed the little bars but I've not done a word search before, I know I've been on her...
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Jackie11
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2
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389
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It finally came....
(Preview)
The letter in the mail that I've been waiting for and dreading at the same time finally came yesterday... He is to go to court in march for violation of probation... Requesting 30 days jail time... Reinstated on probatin with all of the same terms... AA twice a week, weekly contact with sponsor, contac...
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kris10
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2
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346
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My yesterday (may be a touchy subject)
(Preview)
Hi As some of you may remember, I have been 'helping' a friend who decided to terminate her pregnancy. Well yesterday I took her to the hospital and stayed with her all day. Her fiance (whom is a drinker and smoker of pot.. alot) was working and they decided it was too emotional for him to go as he really w...
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Lindaoakford
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8
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326
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self esteem/feelings ?
(Preview)
I grew up hearing Self Esteem is the way we Feel about ourselves and yet Alanon has taught me feelings aren't facts .. So I began looking at this and the fact that Since my axb seems to be Feeling so much better he Must be better .. Then It began to turn in my mind and this is what I got .. If self esteem were simpl...
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MeTwo2
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4
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242
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Dispassionate listening
(Preview)
I must admit I really judged alcoholics in the past. Some of it was because their actions really affected me. Yesterday I was on a bus (on the way to the job that pays nothing) and a woman was on there. She could not have been more than 35, young fresh faced and flirting with a man. She told a story of continu...
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orchidlover
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5
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424
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Resentment
(Preview)
Such a strong feeling of resentment I have right now. My AH is making no effort and picks fights for an excuse. I do not engage, but by doing that, I'm told I'm ignoring him. He is not going to meetings, he's hiding his drinking and the drinking has increased. When it comes down to it, I resent him enorm...
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TLD
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10
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800
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Dog Delemia.....
(Preview)
I took my addicted son's dog when he was no longer caring for her (she is a lab/mut mix) she wasn't properly fed or given water because of his irresponsibility and she was left without proper care while he was gone with his drug buddies. The dog was happy with me, we loved her and took good care of her, but la...
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DreamsOver
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6
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386
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Emotionally draining
(Preview)
It's so hard to accept that I'm powerless in this addiction. I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me.
One thing I definitely know, I can't control what...
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CassieKellz
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9
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384
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adult children
(Preview)
Hi, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this here. For some reason the adult children room won't allow me to write in. For a few years now I have been following the adult children of alcoholics program as well as al-anon. It was through acoa that I came into al-anon. My question has to do with the steps t...
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Tracey C
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23
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963
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hard to be happy
(Preview)
My A finally decided for himself that he needed to get sober. I am so happy that he's taking such a huge step, but I hate seeing how depressed he gets going through his detox.
And I feel so guilty because all I can think about is how many times he's gotten sober just to drink again so in my head I'm telling my...
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CassieKellz
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6
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389
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Husband Stabbed
(Preview)
So the ER in the city my husband buys drugs from calls me to say my he has been stabbed, is stable, and police are there. I guess I will finish up here at work and go see how this story is going to play out. I am already guessing that he is going to hold strong to his story that he isn't using. I feel so many things...
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respect
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12
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565
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Worn down
(Preview)
I feel almost as worn down as I did when working with the ex A. Work is really hard to come by at the moment and I've been working retail. Trouble is I'm not getting enough hours and no matter what I say and do they give all the hours to a new girl who literally just walked in off the street. I've gone the offic...
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orchidlover
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4
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471
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Is this a good idea?
(Preview)
My AH is under the care of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I had a friend suggest that I ask him(AH) to attend an appointment with his psychologist and with me. She thinks I need to tell the psychologist what's going on. The late night drinking binges, the hiding of the alcohol, passing out on...
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ilovedogs
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8
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488
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Good night :)
(Preview)
Not as in good night, Irene however I had a good night of sleep woo hoo!!! I got past 330am. I think I slept past 445am .. I did give myself time to wake up too. No spinning in my thinking. I did take some melatonin and that did help. The kids and I enjoyed an evening out with my MIL last night and tonight is m...
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Pushka
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5
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363
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Is there a set format for meetings?
(Preview)
I've looked online but I find examples of differences so I'm not sure if I understand how the meetings are formatted exactly. Our group has two married couples who attend nearly every meeting and I've been uncomfortable recently at how off-the-format things have gotten. During last night's meet...
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gardendelight
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3
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1333
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Let's talk about sex
(Preview)
I am baffled as I write this. My (separated) AH pretty much said he doesn't feel "support" from me while he is in recovery. We are not filing for divorce but he has his own apartment because, well I couldn't handle the lies/chaos any longer and it was pretty bad before that to build to the spli...
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sookie
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15
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602
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After effects for the enabler!
(Preview)
Hello beautiful people, It has been almost a month since I spoke to my ex. The last post was about his trial. As far as the trial goes, I stopped talking to him and the only way I find out is through inmate search and clerk of courts. His baby mama called me again saying he called her and said he was coming out s...
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Julie3310
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9
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604
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New kitty, stress at work, 50 degrees and sunny
(Preview)
Was having a great day and then things just stopped going my way and then I go to the company bathroom and I say the serenity prayer. It helps to pray "let go and let God" too and my music.. that is helping.. jack johnson today.. as for you guys.. you guys help me so much. just getting on and readin...
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Michelle814
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7
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356
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Sleepless in the Midwest ..
(Preview)
Well, it appears that 330am is going to be my witching hour so I'm going to work hard on doing something productive with that time. I'm up and God is listening. Coffee is not ready yet so I don't know if I'm listening yet however .. it's all good. Hugs P :)
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Pushka
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12
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348
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Battling Quickbooks
(Preview)
Ok, so this isn't alcohol related, though I may need some by the time i get done..... (snicker). But, I find myself thinking, ok, i have to accept this because it is the way it is.... (accept the things you cannot change). Egads has it been a frustrating day - learning and doing and trying and growling and...
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likemyheart
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4
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315
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where are the blue skies and rainbows?
(Preview)
many of us thought that when our ah gets sober everything will just be perfect all the struggles will dissapear and we will live perfect little lives.and things are better but the struggles will not stop,but remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for.and ive read that anything we are f...
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1 day at a time
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4
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317
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it is killing me...what could it be?
(Preview)
Whatever it is, it is killing me! I am not going to diagnose my condition today. But, as I sit here I can hardly type. My shoulders hurt, sometimes my back & hips hurt. I am going to a doctor on Friday but can I wait that long? I am concerned that I might have a serious condition. I am actually OK w/ being il...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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402
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Growth and changed perceptions
(Preview)
Wednesday marked my fourth Al-Anon birthday. I was sure to attend a meeting in honor of that and was blessed with some great insights this week in how some of my perceptions have changed over the years, which indicates more growth in my spirituality and maturity. A member at the meeting was sharing abo...
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Aloha
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4
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417
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Phoned a friend
(Preview)
One of the best things I love about Al-anon is people, practically strangers, hand you their phone number and tell you to call if you ever need to talk....and they mean it. How many people that you meet outside of meetings can you say that about? Yesterday I came home to find my diamond necklace missing....
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respect
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7
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407
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same old, same old... yet not
(Preview)
My A fell while drinking last week and hurt himself pretty badly-stitches, IV fluids for blood loss, LOTS of pain, etc. The doctor told him he had to quit drinking. He was so miserable he said he didn't even want a drink. I was hopeful that this might be the start of something good to come out of the bad, yet...
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pineapple
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7
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354
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Brand New to Al-Anon and Looking for Literature Advice?
(Preview)
Hello, I'm Rachel. I am 19 years old and attended my first Al-Anon meeting today with my older sister. Our mother has been an alcoholic for close to 7 years now. It really never sunk in that it had affected me so deeply until my sister (who has worked with recovering teen addicts in a treatment center and i...
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amazinggrace
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5
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369
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New and unsure.
(Preview)
I'm new to all of this, so I apologize if I say, or do anything that is against the etiquette of the board. I left my husband last night after years of progressively worsening alcoholism and lying, which has become worse in the past year. We have a 6 month old and i won't allow my son to be around anyone who ca...
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Sreis44
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8
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548
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Laundry List - adult child related
(Preview)
Hi, The past few days I've been really surprised to notice how much of my day is actually spent worrying about others and what they're up to. Trait 4 of the Laundry List says - We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sic...
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Tracey C
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6
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784
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Mourning the Life I Should Have Had
(Preview)
Does anyone else find themselves mourning the life they should have had? I went home last night, once again, to my AH who had obviously been doing something that day, he showed all the tell tell signs. I did my job and didn't say anything, pretended everything was normal. He went to bed at 6pm and even tho...
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surfgirl123
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17
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740
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My best friend is SO resentful!
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! The members of this board have helped me through my hardest and most painful times and I'd just like to say thank you, I'm back in the rooms and so grateful. I am, however, dealing with a situation with my best friend of 15 years. We've known each other since we were children, and she was actua...
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Sangyaa
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7
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677
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My life with the program and...
(Preview)
the court, the judge, the lawyer, the police, the feelings and expectations and wants and desires. That is my life yesterday which I have let go for today cause yesterday is done and I can only work on little parts of that today as they come up and as I have time. I think to myself..."I was just goin...
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Jerry F
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9
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2523
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Meeting tonight
(Preview)
First off just let me say I am so grateful to be a member of alanon especially during this trying time. Who knows what the future holds tonight, this min I am ok. I had a few moments consider the bomb that was dropped, I still haven't decided if I'm in shock still or not. At least the first 48 hours have had...
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Pushka
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3
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243
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Repeated Snaggin...
(Preview)
Last Night i Hit a Meetin at Last Minute & Truly Needed to be there, it was basically about "Owning what is Mine" Over the Weekend I had rearranged my plans out of fear, and basically Once I Owned it, I was then able to move forward...So it was indeed a Topic that I needed to be apart of... Lon...
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Jozie
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4
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302
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Advice Needed
(Preview)
Hello, I am a twenty-two year old addict with emotional problems. I am currently in recovery and sober and spent most of 2010 in two treatment centers to help with both my emotional as well as addiction issues. To make a long story short... My 66 year old father started drinking at home on a regular basi...
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Sagie123
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3
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384
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6 months here
(Preview)
I have been on this board and the ACoA board for about 6 months. For those of you who are ACoA also, come on over and say hi. When I first came here I thought I would give it a go and see how I liked it. I knew what it was about but wasn't sure if it would help me or not. I am so glad I found this. I tried to find my ver...
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Lindaoakford
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4
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269
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I am moving and a bit anxious about it
(Preview)
When my 13 year old finishes her 8th grade year in early June I plan on moving to a bigger city. Away from my exAH and his family and near more jobs. I would love to go back to school and get off of aid. I have 3 part time jobs and sometimes 4 in the Summer in the seasonal small town where I live and it gets old. I hav...
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Breakingfree
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7
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402
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Slowly, but surely.
(Preview)
I began al-anon because i didn't know how to help my A and i wanted to know how i could "cure" him. But i stay here now because I'm not in the best state of mind, I now know I NEED help to be able to not only continue a relationship with him, but to actually be able to live. Everytime I think about him m...
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CassieKellz
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6
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286
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need to vent
(Preview)
I am thinking how MIP people remind me that there are giving, thoughtful people out there. Not relating to people who ruin something that was beautiful. Am in the eviction process. 24 hour outragious behavior one for intentionally destroying the premesis. I knew where ever rock was,ever tree, ever...
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Debilyn
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3
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335
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I know what I know
(Preview)
and I'm really hurting right now there are so many things. I've been under the hallucination that things were on the mend between my spouse and I. I found out that no they are not. I don't know what will happen with him at this point. He's no longer living here as of today and I know there is someone else...
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Pushka
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17
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514
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Some sleep
(Preview)
I did get some sleep it's a little early to start my day and it will be a long day based upon that. Today is a min by min day. I'm so grateful that the sleep that did come was good sleep so I feel rested. Another day begins and I have a lot to do today anyway, sooo I better get on it!! Thank you again for your pray...
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Pushka
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5
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461
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My Sponsor "Talked me off the ledge" Today
(Preview)
I had a relapse today and ended up calling my sponsor. I asked her to help "talk me off of the ledge." An acquaintance told me a few weeks ago the my AH (we've been separated for almost 10 months now) was frequenting a neighborhood bar. I was under the impression that he was going to meetings and...
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Green Eyes
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7
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3880
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Big Step for me today
(Preview)
I made a big step with my AS today. After finding him last night passed out on the couch with a beer in his hand, I (we my husband and I) finally had enough and told him of our boundries. Should of been done 3 months ago but it took this in order for us to say anything. also 3 months going to f2f meetings. We told...
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debbiems
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4
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342
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