Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Hello all, I've read this word - deflection - a number of times on a bunch of different posts in the last few days, and I want to know more about people's experiences with it! You see, for years, I think I haven't recognized it. I think I have been a sponge that automatically soaks up guilt. In my rela...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

Ok, this could be a lightening rod of a subject, but I am genuinely curious... Do most people assume that the Higher Power is Christian? I see and hear a LOT of allusions to this in meetings, and just take what I like and leave the rest. I do that on here as well... I am sharing on step 7 tomorrow and it is a toug...

Ariel · Ariel

I welcome any words of wisdom. I've been living with an AB for 4 years. We have a son together who is almost 3. It's a long story. When we met, I was going through a divorce from a very nice man- I just wasn't in love and thought I could find a fairy tale. I found a nightmare. I was single for a year before I met my A...

pineapple · pineapple

This has been a tough day for me. I've been here at least half a dozen times today. As well as reading my literature and saying the serenity prayer. My A has been drunk for the last three days. Constantly. Around the clock. He admitted to me today that he knows he is drinking himself to death and doesn't car...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

find myself questioning balance.with the hours i work i can get to about meeting about once a week.last night i didnt want to go to meeting i just wanted to spend time with my recovering ah.between us working,kids and meetings i feel myself being so lonely for the just us time. i didnt go to meeting and ne...

Chantel · Chantel

I am not real sure my husband can be catagorized as an alcholic. Right now he seems very funtional. That is why I need to know what to expect. He started drinking a lot of wine. He is now drinking a 5 liter box within 3 days. I figure he averages about 2 liters a day. When I approached him about maybe hav...

Vesu · Vesu

He's still living in our house but I moved to an apartment months ago. He wants me to come see him tonight, says he has things he needs to talk to me about. Really dreading this. We haven't seen each other in a while and when we spoke on the phone last week he just tore into me. Went on and on about how I aban...

TLD · TLD

Seems some choices are so hard to make. I'm trying to decide if I want to stay in this relationship with my AH or not. I know I don't have to make a decision right now, but the living situation has gotten fairly uncomfortable. He is bingge drinking and using drugs. In the last two weeks, we have not spoke...

amills4294 · amills4294

My partner lashes out when he is hurt - usually with not nice words instead of expressing what he feels. I used to cower under to try to soothe him or attack back. Today I was confronted with his unhappiness with me by him saying in a very nasty tone "I guess this is what I have to live with"... ...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I was just listening to an ACA workshop. In it, the fellow mentioned that when he was in aa, he learned about the concept of one day at a time, to keep his compulsion away. He said with aca though he needs to take it one feeling at a time. There was no way he could do it one day at a time. Wow!!! I never th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: a few days ago I felt so peaceful and serene, knowing I had let my AH know that while I understood I could not expect him to stop drinking, embrace recovery, etc there were certain things I knew I couldn't live with any more we agreed to give our marriage another try for 6 months, as we have now serio...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

This is quite funny to me actually, I mean kind of funny. I tried to order dilemma of the alcoholic marriage on amazon, but the credit card is maxed out, so are all the other ones. Thanks AH.this is a dilemma. The house of cards is finally falling down. We can't afford our bills any more and we are going to go...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Next weekend is my AH husband's move out of the house date. It has been 2 months since I made the decision not to continue our 7 year marriage and 17 year relationship, and I haven't doubted that decision until now. We agreed that 2 months would give him time to figure out what he wanted to do, and there ha...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Need to vent to the only people in the world who will understand. Came home last night and within minutes my AH went on a rampage. The worst I have ever seen. Screaming, punching in walls, throwing the gun he keeps in the house around, and then he discharged a bullet into the wall not knowing there was a rou...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I fell upon, by odd coincidence, a journal my Grandma kept the year I was born up until, perhaps, I was about ten. She does not talk much about me in her entries, because she had about 38 grandchildren so she did not write about any one particular child for long. She jumps back and forth, mainly talking a...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may know, I have been feeling a bit stressed of late. A few things going on in my life... friends, work. My husband and I have been getting along fine. He has many many stressors in his professional life at the moment. In my relapse, I have started checking and obsession again. Then judg...

Debilyn · Debilyn

befuddled by too many contridicting factors, confused. Needing to get back to simple. many of you know I am not landlady material. I always get hurt and burnt. This is the worst. court to get them out is this friday. The dep sheriff said this is the worst he has ever encountered. I called my place Potter'...

Vesu · Vesu

I recently left my husband of 10 years because of his addictions. He's started going to AA meetings and is looking to get involved with NA as well. We're living apart at the moment but he says he doesn't want a divorce, that we still have a chance. I'm pretty conflicted about that so I thought that while he...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Its been a while since I posted and I apologize for the length of this post but I am just now reaching a point where I am really ready to share because I have a better idea of where I am at now then I have for the past several weeks. I have a sponsor. The catalyst for me finally calling and asking someone, the fi...

Pushka · Pushka

I did some self care this weekend I went and got my hair cut and had it colored, ... felt so good to take care of myself. Today I had a dentist appointment, as well as a therapy appointment, as well and in a couple of weeks I need to schedule the physical I have been putting off for ohh .. let's see 3 years now. I...

emmyboo2 · emmyboo2

This is my first post although I have been on here looking at a lot of other posts to help get me through this. OK AH and I (married 6 years together 10) are now separated. I feel like I don't need to explain all the abuse, manipulation, blame, etc that I have been through with his alcoholism because we al...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm heading out in a few minutes to go with my adult daughter to meet her dad (my AH) for his birthday- we're taking out to dinner. My daughter asked me to go with her because she's uncomfortable with seeing him one on one right now. Unfortunately, I am very upset with him right now after having a two hour co...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

my ah is now 9 months sober,this is what i always wished for.he is working his programs and goes to lots of meetings, as he should be thats where he needs to be.so why feel a sense of loss.i want to spend every waking moment with him,just like i did when we first met.i think about him ever second of the day.he...

wp · wp

I have tried numerous times tonight , Monday, to enter the mip alanon chat room with no luck. I noticed in another post that others have had the same problem today. I suppose we could "meet" at but1purpose.org/ On the other hand , I have a bunch of other things to do and it's getting lat...

grammie · grammie

Hi Family, just wondered if anyone else is having a problem getting into the chat room this morning..Today is the 6th of Feb..guess my HP wants me to get busy doing some chores instead of sitting here LOL. Everyone have a blessed day, I'll see you all soon. Love in recovery, grammie

Davilu · Davilu

Hi I am a newbie and have a situation that is draining me mentally and physically and I feel very guilty. I am a 50 year old woman with 2 daughters and a great and supportive husband. Let me see if I can make this short and sweet (not so sweet) Both my 75 year old parents are and have been alcoholics since I c...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

What a crazy weekend I had. I was the only person not drinking at a family event and I did well up until the end. My brothers wanted to stay over night. One is 22 and the other is 19. I already see the 19 year old becoming very dependent upon not only alcohol, but just getting to do whatever it is he wants to...

Sent Via Email to All MIP members · John

Hello Everyone! I hope that the start of 2012 has shown to be a blessing to everyone who is registered on our site's message boards. As a registered member on our message boards, you may receive 3-4 emails per year. Your email account will not be slammed with a bunch of emails, nor will your em...

danni · danni

So, we (my AH and two little ones) have been having a not so great day due to lack of sleep, my crabbiness, life...things are getting better and my AH announces he wants to "take a break and go watch the superbowl". I said ok, since I am staying out of the way of potential drinking, which has bee...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter with her 3 young children had no electric or heat. DFS is envolved. She was then staying with her cousin but that came to and end. Her and her boyfreind were staying so blitzed they didnt even know where there were at most of the time. Friday morning the boyfriend OD'd is on life support. ...

Wenani · Wenani

Recently ive been hit with a deep depression when i get bored, i have been going though a lot of stress recently, im only 17 and my girlfriend is pregnant, and so much is going on. I used to have a game i would play online and i would play it from sun up to sun down and my own thoughts wouldnt bother me. But i have...

Pushka · Pushka

Right now I am falling apart. I'm very emotional, .. my 8 year old wants to come out and play and she is very tempermental and very overwhelming. She also carries so many of my codependent traits. She is demanding attention from someone else, she doesn't want my attention she wants her "protect...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year. On the other hand, Im having a di...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...

Tired Wife · Tired Wife

I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...

tandangsora · tandangsora

I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...

rehprof · rehprof

Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi my AH and I have been doing a tango for a while now about whether we will actually stay married or not! I am the one to keep bringing up the idea of spltting, because I am not able to find happiness living with the patterns of this disease. This forum and meetings have been invaluable, and many people her...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Once again the coincidences have started. I was in a rut the past three days and suddenly I am being hugged by my HP. I keep seeing license plate #'s that mean something to me. Deep in prayer, I look over to my right and the license plate read "HP" At a thrift store, I turn over this kitchen plaq...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've had a really good day with my program today. Had a great, insightful appointment with my therapist today, and a good meeting tonight. Yet when I got home from my meeting, my wife seemed as if she had been drinking. She went to bed shortly after I got home, and I've already done one search of the house f...

Daddys_babygirl · Daddys_babygirl

My father is 57 years old, he just celebrated his last birthday (the 23rd) in a kindred facility outside of Boston. On 12/28 he was admitted to the hospital with end stage liver disease, and the 30th he aspirated and found himself intubated in the ICU with pneumonia which soon progressed into ARDS. I l...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I want to confront my AH about last night. He picked up our son from an activity so that I could make it to my meeting. When I came home I smelled beer on him so I knew he had been drinking but I don't know if he did it before or after he picked up our son. I also found a receipt for a 6 pack that he purchased on the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Real quick: an update. I am doing better. saw the doctor early because I could not take the pain any longer! more than one doctor actually. I am off my current cholesterol meds. for 5 days. Still have pain. hard to type. I know it might take awhile after suffering for over 3 weeks. Prayers are still needed...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This is a copy of apost I put on the ACA board. I thought some people here may be able to offer some insight also well.. I had to go see the psychologist again. I have to say, I was very nervous about the next appointment given the emotional toil of the last one. I was not looking forward to it. I had been req...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family With tomorrow being devoted to my Super Giants and all the fun of the Game I have posted the 6th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Even if you are not formally working the Steps this is a great oportunity to learn and grow and share Look forward to your ideas http://stepwork.activebo...

wanderingSoul · wanderingSoul

I am looking for a way to help my partner. We are both in our 30s. He has a drinking problem. I am relatively successful in my career and life. I am not a child of a alcoholic, but I have many friends who are. So I know how damaging having an alcoholic in my life can be can be He is not in denial of his problem, he...

daisy31 · daisy31

I just feel very stuck right now. I have been in the program for about 6 months and it feels very slow going. I haven't started the steps yet. I am getting so stuck in the "higher power" thing. Everyone seems to have their idea of their higher power. I keep feeling like if I don't choose th...

respect · respect

My husband has no job, no money, no future. He was stabbed earlier this week by what he calls a "random act of violence". No one wants him around, including his own mother. He does not appear to know how to tell the truth- about anything. His "friends" look like people you would fin...

Otie · Otie

Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...

HarleyQ · HarleyQ

I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...

stefani74 · stefani74

I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...

Sally · Sally

Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...

Pushka · Pushka

Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....

Pushka · Pushka

AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	deflection (Preview) Hello all, I've read this word - deflection - a number of times on a bunch of different posts in the last few days, and I want to know more about people's experiences with it! You see, for years, I think I haven't recognized it. I think I have been a sponge that automatically soaks up guilt. In my rela...	Iris lover of dogs	11	6541	Feb 9, 2012 by Pushka
	AlAnon is not allied with any sect, religion... (Preview) Ok, this could be a lightening rod of a subject, but I am genuinely curious... Do most people assume that the Higher Power is Christian? I see and hear a LOT of allusions to this in meetings, and just take what I like and leave the rest. I do that on here as well... I am sharing on step 7 tomorrow and it is a toug...	alanonicScotland	14	3231	Feb 9, 2012 by margob
	New Here (Preview) I welcome any words of wisdom. I've been living with an AB for 4 years. We have a son together who is almost 3. It's a long story. When we met, I was going through a divorce from a very nice man- I just wasn't in love and thought I could find a fairy tale. I found a nightmare. I was single for a year before I met my A...	Ariel	11	536	Feb 9, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	too, too sad (Preview) This has been a tough day for me. I've been here at least half a dozen times today. As well as reading my literature and saying the serenity prayer. My A has been drunk for the last three days. Constantly. Around the clock. He admitted to me today that he knows he is drinking himself to death and doesn't car...	pineapple	14	636	Feb 9, 2012 by hotrod
	balance?need to hear ideas or someone who understands (Preview) find myself questioning balance.with the hours i work i can get to about meeting about once a week.last night i didnt want to go to meeting i just wanted to spend time with my recovering ah.between us working,kids and meetings i feel myself being so lonely for the just us time. i didnt go to meeting and ne...	1 day at a time	6	410	Feb 9, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	New here and need lots of information please. (Preview) I am not real sure my husband can be catagorized as an alcholic. Right now he seems very funtional. That is why I need to know what to expect. He started drinking a lot of wine. He is now drinking a 5 liter box within 3 days. I figure he averages about 2 liters a day. When I approached him about maybe hav...	Chantel	7	351	Feb 9, 2012 by nyc018
	AH just called (Preview) He's still living in our house but I moved to an apartment months ago. He wants me to come see him tonight, says he has things he needs to talk to me about. Really dreading this. We haven't seen each other in a while and when we spoke on the phone last week he just tore into me. Went on and on about how I aban...	Vesu	8	705	Feb 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	Choices (Preview) Seems some choices are so hard to make. I'm trying to decide if I want to stay in this relationship with my AH or not. I know I don't have to make a decision right now, but the living situation has gotten fairly uncomfortable. He is bingge drinking and using drugs. In the last two weeks, we have not spoke...	TLD	10	506	Feb 8, 2012 by danni
	Practicing trying not to react.... (Preview) My partner lashes out when he is hurt - usually with not nice words instead of expressing what he feels. I used to cower under to try to soothe him or attack back. Today I was confronted with his unhappiness with me by him saying in a very nasty tone "I guess this is what I have to live with"... ...	amills4294	9	608	Feb 8, 2012 by 1 day at a time
	Adult Child - Feelings (Preview) Hi, I was just listening to an ACA workshop. In it, the fellow mentioned that when he was in aa, he learned about the concept of one day at a time, to keep his compulsion away. He said with aca though he needs to take it one feeling at a time. There was no way he could do it one day at a time. Wow!!! I never th...	Tracey C	4	345	Feb 8, 2012 by Tracey C
	any thoughts appreciated (Preview) Hi All: a few days ago I felt so peaceful and serene, knowing I had let my AH know that while I understood I could not expect him to stop drinking, embrace recovery, etc there were certain things I knew I couldn't live with any more we agreed to give our marriage another try for 6 months, as we have now serio...	yanksfan51	5	355	Feb 8, 2012 by Pushka
	Here's a dilemma for you (Preview) This is quite funny to me actually, I mean kind of funny. I tried to order dilemma of the alcoholic marriage on amazon, but the credit card is maxed out, so are all the other ones. Thanks AH.this is a dilemma. The house of cards is finally falling down. We can't afford our bills any more and we are going to go...	GreenerGrass	5	332	Feb 8, 2012 by yanksfan51
	trying to prepare myself (Preview) Next weekend is my AH husband's move out of the house date. It has been 2 months since I made the decision not to continue our 7 year marriage and 17 year relationship, and I haven't doubted that decision until now. We agreed that 2 months would give him time to figure out what he wanted to do, and there ha...	Iris lover of dogs	11	397	Feb 8, 2012 by yanksfan51
	The Shot Heard Round The World (Preview) Need to vent to the only people in the world who will understand. Came home last night and within minutes my AH went on a rampage. The worst I have ever seen. Screaming, punching in walls, throwing the gun he keeps in the house around, and then he discharged a bullet into the wall not knowing there was a rou...	surfgirl123	21	612	Feb 8, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	August 1984 (Preview) I fell upon, by odd coincidence, a journal my Grandma kept the year I was born up until, perhaps, I was about ten. She does not talk much about me in her entries, because she had about 38 grandchildren so she did not write about any one particular child for long. She jumps back and forth, mainly talking a...	Michelle814	6	365	Feb 8, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Its amazing how quick I can relapse (Preview) As some of you may know, I have been feeling a bit stressed of late. A few things going on in my life... friends, work. My husband and I have been getting along fine. He has many many stressors in his professional life at the moment. In my relapse, I have started checking and obsession again. Then judg...	Lindaoakford	8	486	Feb 8, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	bewildered (Preview) befuddled by too many contridicting factors, confused. Needing to get back to simple. many of you know I am not landlady material. I always get hurt and burnt. This is the worst. court to get them out is this friday. The dep sheriff said this is the worst he has ever encountered. I called my place Potter'...	Debilyn	10	685	Feb 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hey, I'm new here (Preview) I recently left my husband of 10 years because of his addictions. He's started going to AA meetings and is looking to get involved with NA as well. We're living apart at the moment but he says he doesn't want a divorce, that we still have a chance. I'm pretty conflicted about that so I thought that while he...	Vesu	14	452	Feb 7, 2012 by abbyal
	Learning how to communicate (Preview) Its been a while since I posted and I apologize for the length of this post but I am just now reaching a point where I am really ready to share because I have a better idea of where I am at now then I have for the past several weeks. I have a sponsor. The catalyst for me finally calling and asking someone, the fi...	Jackie11	8	383	Feb 7, 2012 by abbyal
	Good and long day .. (Preview) I did some self care this weekend I went and got my hair cut and had it colored, ... felt so good to take care of myself. Today I had a dentist appointment, as well as a therapy appointment, as well and in a couple of weeks I need to schedule the physical I have been putting off for ohh .. let's see 3 years now. I...	Pushka	13	660	Feb 7, 2012 by Michelle814
	Looking for strength (Preview) This is my first post although I have been on here looking at a lot of other posts to help get me through this. OK AH and I (married 6 years together 10) are now separated. I feel like I don't need to explain all the abuse, manipulation, blame, etc that I have been through with his alcoholism because we al...	emmyboo2	5	558	Feb 7, 2012 by pineapple
	ESH Request (Preview) I'm heading out in a few minutes to go with my adult daughter to meet her dad (my AH) for his birthday- we're taking out to dinner. My daughter asked me to go with her because she's uncomfortable with seeing him one on one right now. Unfortunately, I am very upset with him right now after having a two hour co...	Green Eyes	9	452	Feb 7, 2012 by amills4294
	think i maybe crazy (Preview) my ah is now 9 months sober,this is what i always wished for.he is working his programs and goes to lots of meetings, as he should be thats where he needs to be.so why feel a sense of loss.i want to spend every waking moment with him,just like i did when we first met.i think about him ever second of the day.he...	1 day at a time	5	445	Feb 7, 2012 by DreamXL
	MIP Chatroom down? (Preview) I have tried numerous times tonight , Monday, to enter the mip alanon chat room with no luck. I noticed in another post that others have had the same problem today. I suppose we could "meet" at but1purpose.org/ On the other hand , I have a bunch of other things to do and it's getting lat...	wp	0	234	Feb 7, 2012 by wp
	Anyone else having trouble? (Preview) Hi Family, just wondered if anyone else is having a problem getting into the chat room this morning..Today is the 6th of Feb..guess my HP wants me to get busy doing some chores instead of sitting here LOL. Everyone have a blessed day, I'll see you all soon. Love in recovery, grammie	grammie	4	321	Feb 7, 2012 by Bonnie
	I think I am an enabler...need to vent! Thank you (Preview) Hi I am a newbie and have a situation that is draining me mentally and physically and I feel very guilty. I am a 50 year old woman with 2 daughters and a great and supportive husband. Let me see if I can make this short and sweet (not so sweet) Both my 75 year old parents are and have been alcoholics since I c...	Davilu	7	465	Feb 7, 2012 by Davilu
	practice makes perfect (Preview) What a crazy weekend I had. I was the only person not drinking at a family event and I did well up until the end. My brothers wanted to stay over night. One is 22 and the other is 19. I already see the 19 year old becoming very dependent upon not only alcohol, but just getting to do whatever it is he wants to...	Michelle814	7	395	Feb 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Sent Via Email to All MIP members (Preview) Hello Everyone! I hope that the start of 2012 has shown to be a blessing to everyone who is registered on our site's message boards. As a registered member on our message boards, you may receive 3-4 emails per year. Your email account will not be slammed with a bunch of emails, nor will your em...	John	1	383	Feb 7, 2012 by lacewing
	AH wants to go "somewhere" to watch Superbowl (Preview) So, we (my AH and two little ones) have been having a not so great day due to lack of sleep, my crabbiness, life...things are getting better and my AH announces he wants to "take a break and go watch the superbowl". I said ok, since I am staying out of the way of potential drinking, which has bee...	danni	11	559	Feb 7, 2012 by danni
	Pride and envey (Preview) I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag...	Highlyfavored	6	428	Feb 7, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	My Daughter must be hitting her bottom...How much more can I endore? (Preview) My daughter with her 3 young children had no electric or heat. DFS is envolved. She was then staying with her cousin but that came to and end. Her and her boyfreind were staying so blitzed they didnt even know where there were at most of the time. Friday morning the boyfriend OD'd is on life support. ...	mdkm0726	4	370	Feb 6, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Ideas to stay busy? (Preview) Recently ive been hit with a deep depression when i get bored, i have been going though a lot of stress recently, im only 17 and my girlfriend is pregnant, and so much is going on. I used to have a game i would play online and i would play it from sun up to sun down and my own thoughts wouldnt bother me. But i have...	Wenani	8	518	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Doing the best I can (Preview) Right now I am falling apart. I'm very emotional, .. my 8 year old wants to come out and play and she is very tempermental and very overwhelming. She also carries so many of my codependent traits. She is demanding attention from someone else, she doesn't want my attention she wants her "protect...	Pushka	13	772	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	One Year (Preview) Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year. On the other hand, Im having a di...	Corgi2	8	449	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Update on Being Scammed (Preview) Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...	GailMichelle	5	588	Feb 6, 2012 by Jackie11
	I can't take it anymore (Preview) I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...	Tired Wife	8	519	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Working on... (Preview) My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...	Jackie11	2	330	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	URGENT advice needed - I am in despair. (Preview) I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...	tandangsora	21	788	Feb 6, 2012 by tandangsora
	Can't do it right now! (Preview) Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...	rehprof	7	470	Feb 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Follow up(deflection) (Preview) Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...	ilovedogs	7	463	Feb 6, 2012 by Tracey C
	I needed to set a time frame and boundaries (Preview) Hi my AH and I have been doing a tango for a while now about whether we will actually stay married or not! I am the one to keep bringing up the idea of spltting, because I am not able to find happiness living with the patterns of this disease. This forum and meetings have been invaluable, and many people her...	yanksfan51	6	583	Feb 5, 2012 by yanksfan51
	More "coincidences" from my HP (Preview) Once again the coincidences have started. I was in a rut the past three days and suddenly I am being hugged by my HP. I keep seeing license plate #'s that mean something to me. Deep in prayer, I look over to my right and the license plate read "HP" At a thrift store, I turn over this kitchen plaq...	Michelle814	8	482	Feb 5, 2012 by John
	Feeling good and healthy--but still want to know (Preview) I've had a really good day with my program today. Had a great, insightful appointment with my therapist today, and a good meeting tonight. Yet when I got home from my meeting, my wife seemed as if she had been drinking. She went to bed shortly after I got home, and I've already done one search of the house f...	usedtobeanyer	16	421	Feb 5, 2012 by Pushka
	My Dad is dying & my family wont let him (Preview) My father is 57 years old, he just celebrated his last birthday (the 23rd) in a kindred facility outside of Boston. On 12/28 he was admitted to the hospital with end stage liver disease, and the 30th he aspirated and found himself intubated in the ICU with pneumonia which soon progressed into ARDS. I l...	Daddys_babygirl	8	484	Feb 5, 2012 by kitilvr
	Driving the kids around (Preview) I want to confront my AH about last night. He picked up our son from an activity so that I could make it to my meeting. When I came home I smelled beer on him so I knew he had been drinking but I don't know if he did it before or after he picked up our son. I also found a receipt for a 6 pack that he purchased on the...	ilovedogs	13	331	Feb 4, 2012 by Pushka
	one step in the right direction... (Preview) Real quick: an update. I am doing better. saw the doctor early because I could not take the pain any longer! more than one doctor actually. I am off my current cholesterol meds. for 5 days. Still have pain. hard to type. I know it might take awhile after suffering for over 3 weeks. Prayers are still needed...	Hoot Nanny	2	280	Feb 4, 2012 by danni
	copy my post on ACA board (Preview) This is a copy of apost I put on the ACA board. I thought some people here may be able to offer some insight also well.. I had to go see the psychologist again. I have to say, I was very nervous about the next appointment given the emotional toil of the last one. I was not looking forward to it. I had been req...	Lindaoakford	2	346	Feb 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	6 th Step (Preview) Hi MIP Family With tomorrow being devoted to my Super Giants and all the fun of the Game I have posted the 6th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Even if you are not formally working the Steps this is a great oportunity to learn and grow and share Look forward to your ideas http://stepwork.activebo...	hotrod	0	307	Feb 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Looking for where to go. (Preview) I am looking for a way to help my partner. We are both in our 30s. He has a drinking problem. I am relatively successful in my career and life. I am not a child of a alcoholic, but I have many friends who are. So I know how damaging having an alcoholic in my life can be can be He is not in denial of his problem, he...	wanderingSoul	8	438	Feb 4, 2012 by Pushka
	a question about a higher power? (Preview) I just feel very stuck right now. I have been in the program for about 6 months and it feels very slow going. I haven't started the steps yet. I am getting so stuck in the "higher power" thing. Everyone seems to have their idea of their higher power. I keep feeling like if I don't choose th...	daisy31	8	389	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A sad life (Preview) My husband has no job, no money, no future. He was stabbed earlier this week by what he calls a "random act of violence". No one wants him around, including his own mother. He does not appear to know how to tell the truth- about anything. His "friends" look like people you would fin...	respect	4	516	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Afterwards (Preview) Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie	Otie	5	616	Feb 4, 2012 by oldergal
	Thinking Out Loud (Preview) My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...	Green Eyes	7	471	Feb 4, 2012 by yanksfan51
	Tired of the useless obsessive thoughts want to start work ASAP (Preview) I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...	HarleyQ	6	437	Feb 4, 2012 by hotrod
	EVERYONE, PLEASE READ (Preview) I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...	GailMichelle	5	579	Feb 4, 2012 by Debilyn
	Second meeting (Preview) I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...	stefani74	6	308	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Just for today... (Preview) ...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...	Mlkiss75	8	309	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	First Post (Preview) Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...	Sally	5	523	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Lots of things (Preview) Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....	Pushka	7	506	Feb 4, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	5 things I like to do .. (Preview) AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...	Pushka	9	818	Feb 3, 2012 by likemyheart
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.