Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Michelle814 · Michelle814

What a crazy weekend I had. I was the only person not drinking at a family event and I did well up until the end. My brothers wanted to stay over night. One is 22 and the other is 19. I already see the 19 year old becoming very dependent upon not only alcohol, but just getting to do whatever it is he wants to...

Sent Via Email to All MIP members · John

Hello Everyone! I hope that the start of 2012 has shown to be a blessing to everyone who is registered on our site's message boards. As a registered member on our message boards, you may receive 3-4 emails per year. Your email account will not be slammed with a bunch of emails, nor will your em...

danni · danni

So, we (my AH and two little ones) have been having a not so great day due to lack of sleep, my crabbiness, life...things are getting better and my AH announces he wants to "take a break and go watch the superbowl". I said ok, since I am staying out of the way of potential drinking, which has bee...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter with her 3 young children had no electric or heat. DFS is envolved. She was then staying with her cousin but that came to and end. Her and her boyfreind were staying so blitzed they didnt even know where there were at most of the time. Friday morning the boyfriend OD'd is on life support. ...

Wenani · Wenani

Recently ive been hit with a deep depression when i get bored, i have been going though a lot of stress recently, im only 17 and my girlfriend is pregnant, and so much is going on. I used to have a game i would play online and i would play it from sun up to sun down and my own thoughts wouldnt bother me. But i have...

Pushka · Pushka

Right now I am falling apart. I'm very emotional, .. my 8 year old wants to come out and play and she is very tempermental and very overwhelming. She also carries so many of my codependent traits. She is demanding attention from someone else, she doesn't want my attention she wants her "protect...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year. On the other hand, Im having a di...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...

Tired Wife · Tired Wife

I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...

tandangsora · tandangsora

I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...

rehprof · rehprof

Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi my AH and I have been doing a tango for a while now about whether we will actually stay married or not! I am the one to keep bringing up the idea of spltting, because I am not able to find happiness living with the patterns of this disease. This forum and meetings have been invaluable, and many people her...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Once again the coincidences have started. I was in a rut the past three days and suddenly I am being hugged by my HP. I keep seeing license plate #'s that mean something to me. Deep in prayer, I look over to my right and the license plate read "HP" At a thrift store, I turn over this kitchen plaq...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've had a really good day with my program today. Had a great, insightful appointment with my therapist today, and a good meeting tonight. Yet when I got home from my meeting, my wife seemed as if she had been drinking. She went to bed shortly after I got home, and I've already done one search of the house f...

Daddys_babygirl · Daddys_babygirl

My father is 57 years old, he just celebrated his last birthday (the 23rd) in a kindred facility outside of Boston. On 12/28 he was admitted to the hospital with end stage liver disease, and the 30th he aspirated and found himself intubated in the ICU with pneumonia which soon progressed into ARDS. I l...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I want to confront my AH about last night. He picked up our son from an activity so that I could make it to my meeting. When I came home I smelled beer on him so I knew he had been drinking but I don't know if he did it before or after he picked up our son. I also found a receipt for a 6 pack that he purchased on the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Real quick: an update. I am doing better. saw the doctor early because I could not take the pain any longer! more than one doctor actually. I am off my current cholesterol meds. for 5 days. Still have pain. hard to type. I know it might take awhile after suffering for over 3 weeks. Prayers are still needed...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This is a copy of apost I put on the ACA board. I thought some people here may be able to offer some insight also well.. I had to go see the psychologist again. I have to say, I was very nervous about the next appointment given the emotional toil of the last one. I was not looking forward to it. I had been req...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family With tomorrow being devoted to my Super Giants and all the fun of the Game I have posted the 6th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Even if you are not formally working the Steps this is a great oportunity to learn and grow and share Look forward to your ideas http://stepwork.activebo...

wanderingSoul · wanderingSoul

I am looking for a way to help my partner. We are both in our 30s. He has a drinking problem. I am relatively successful in my career and life. I am not a child of a alcoholic, but I have many friends who are. So I know how damaging having an alcoholic in my life can be can be He is not in denial of his problem, he...

daisy31 · daisy31

I just feel very stuck right now. I have been in the program for about 6 months and it feels very slow going. I haven't started the steps yet. I am getting so stuck in the "higher power" thing. Everyone seems to have their idea of their higher power. I keep feeling like if I don't choose th...

respect · respect

My husband has no job, no money, no future. He was stabbed earlier this week by what he calls a "random act of violence". No one wants him around, including his own mother. He does not appear to know how to tell the truth- about anything. His "friends" look like people you would fin...

Otie · Otie

Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...

HarleyQ · HarleyQ

I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...

stefani74 · stefani74

I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...

Sally · Sally

Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...

Pushka · Pushka

Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....

Pushka · Pushka

AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...

amills4294 · amills4294

This is my favorite expression when I get so angry or upset that I have a hard time coming out of it... it just keeps building and building. Sometimes venting helps. Sometimes chanting the serenity prayer. Any other ESH on this would be appreciated. I'm wound pretty tight right now.

rehprof · rehprof

So..as I navigate through this divorce process, trying to make ends meet as a single mom, keep a home, pay all the bills, provide support for my boys, and work 60+ hours a week...I am finding that I am still just tapped in terms of motivation and energy. makes me wonder, in general, how may of us experien...

Sreis44 · Sreis44

My husband agreed to enter into outpatient rehab and has finally admitted that he will never be able to drink alcohol responsibly. I am not returning home with our son until he is enrolled and has been to his first session. He wanted me to come home after promising to participate in treatment, but actio...

Brandi · Brandi

I am a 40 year old daughter of an alcoholic. I have been urged for many years to join al Al Anon group and have never had the courage. I found this message board online and really hope that it will help. My father is an alcoholic. He has been the majority of my life. I always thought he was the "fun&...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am feeling like I have control over my AH again at times. I have been acting as if he MUST stay sober. I think its because I am, once again, thinking of wanting children and I know if he relapses my life will be a living hell. Maybe Ill never be a mother. I wont leave him just so I can have children. What, w...

Jozie · Jozie

Last Night I went to My Meeting after a VERY LONG day, and when I got there, it was an Open Meeting were we choose a topic, and we chose one of our books to read from, and some where along the way ended up on the topic of Growth... I Can Not Speak for Anyone but me when it comes to Growth... I can say I have Seen Grow...

glad lee · glad lee

Last Sunday I was triggered big time by my fear of abandonment, causing my character defects to go into full bloom. I was about to react in a way that would have harmed ME, I was about to end a very special relationship. My dis-ease had justified, rationalized and defended all the resentments going...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I want to ask my AH if we can get a supplemental insurance policy on him. My take on it is that if he continues to drink and take anti depressants, which can cause liver damage, then I think I have a right to ask for extra protection. Does this make sense? Could it possibly trigger his anger? I just feel so ins...

dorito · dorito

The reading talked about 3 obstacles to success, one being gossip. We found the other was dominance, does anybody know the other? The was in Hope for Today's reading.

Jackie11 · Jackie11

This past Sunday I said good bye to one of my oldest friends so I've been feeling sad, I know that this too shall pass. I learned today that there is a search field and you can type in words and it pulls up the search. I always noticed the little bars but I've not done a word search before, I know I've been on her...

kris10 · kris10

The letter in the mail that I've been waiting for and dreading at the same time finally came yesterday... He is to go to court in march for violation of probation... Requesting 30 days jail time... Reinstated on probatin with all of the same terms... AA twice a week, weekly contact with sponsor, contac...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi As some of you may remember, I have been 'helping' a friend who decided to terminate her pregnancy. Well yesterday I took her to the hospital and stayed with her all day. Her fiance (whom is a drinker and smoker of pot.. alot) was working and they decided it was too emotional for him to go as he really w...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I grew up hearing Self Esteem is the way we Feel about ourselves and yet Alanon has taught me feelings aren't facts .. So I began looking at this and the fact that Since my axb seems to be Feeling so much better he Must be better .. Then It began to turn in my mind and this is what I got .. If self esteem were simpl...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I must admit I really judged alcoholics in the past. Some of it was because their actions really affected me. Yesterday I was on a bus (on the way to the job that pays nothing) and a woman was on there. She could not have been more than 35, young fresh faced and flirting with a man. She told a story of continu...

TLD · TLD

Such a strong feeling of resentment I have right now. My AH is making no effort and picks fights for an excuse. I do not engage, but by doing that, I'm told I'm ignoring him. He is not going to meetings, he's hiding his drinking and the drinking has increased. When it comes down to it, I resent him enorm...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I took my addicted son's dog when he was no longer caring for her (she is a lab/mut mix) she wasn't properly fed or given water because of his irresponsibility and she was left without proper care while he was gone with his drug buddies. The dog was happy with me, we loved her and took good care of her, but la...

CassieKellz · CassieKellz

It's so hard to accept that I'm powerless in this addiction. I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me. One thing I definitely know, I can't control what...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this here. For some reason the adult children room won't allow me to write in. For a few years now I have been following the adult children of alcoholics program as well as al-anon. It was through acoa that I came into al-anon. My question has to do with the steps t...

CassieKellz · CassieKellz

My A finally decided for himself that he needed to get sober. I am so happy that he's taking such a huge step, but I hate seeing how depressed he gets going through his detox. And I feel so guilty because all I can think about is how many times he's gotten sober just to drink again so in my head I'm telling my...

respect · respect

So the ER in the city my husband buys drugs from calls me to say my he has been stabbed, is stable, and police are there. I guess I will finish up here at work and go see how this story is going to play out. I am already guessing that he is going to hold strong to his story that he isn't using. I feel so many things...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I feel almost as worn down as I did when working with the ex A. Work is really hard to come by at the moment and I've been working retail. Trouble is I'm not getting enough hours and no matter what I say and do they give all the hours to a new girl who literally just walked in off the street. I've gone the offic...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is under the care of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I had a friend suggest that I ask him(AH) to attend an appointment with his psychologist and with me. She thinks I need to tell the psychologist what's going on. The late night drinking binges, the hiding of the alcohol, passing out on...

Pushka · Pushka

Not as in good night, Irene however I had a good night of sleep woo hoo!!! I got past 330am. I think I slept past 445am .. I did give myself time to wake up too. No spinning in my thinking. I did take some melatonin and that did help. The kids and I enjoyed an evening out with my MIL last night and tonight is m...

gardendelight · gardendelight

I've looked online but I find examples of differences so I'm not sure if I understand how the meetings are formatted exactly. Our group has two married couples who attend nearly every meeting and I've been uncomfortable recently at how off-the-format things have gotten. During last night's meet...

sookie · sookie

I am baffled as I write this. My (separated) AH pretty much said he doesn't feel "support" from me while he is in recovery. We are not filing for divorce but he has his own apartment because, well I couldn't handle the lies/chaos any longer and it was pretty bad before that to build to the spli...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

Hello beautiful people, It has been almost a month since I spoke to my ex. The last post was about his trial. As far as the trial goes, I stopped talking to him and the only way I find out is through inmate search and clerk of courts. His baby mama called me again saying he called her and said he was coming out s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	practice makes perfect (Preview) What a crazy weekend I had. I was the only person not drinking at a family event and I did well up until the end. My brothers wanted to stay over night. One is 22 and the other is 19. I already see the 19 year old becoming very dependent upon not only alcohol, but just getting to do whatever it is he wants to...	Michelle814	7	363	Feb 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Sent Via Email to All MIP members (Preview) Hello Everyone! I hope that the start of 2012 has shown to be a blessing to everyone who is registered on our site's message boards. As a registered member on our message boards, you may receive 3-4 emails per year. Your email account will not be slammed with a bunch of emails, nor will your em...	John	1	356	Feb 7, 2012 by lacewing
	AH wants to go "somewhere" to watch Superbowl (Preview) So, we (my AH and two little ones) have been having a not so great day due to lack of sleep, my crabbiness, life...things are getting better and my AH announces he wants to "take a break and go watch the superbowl". I said ok, since I am staying out of the way of potential drinking, which has bee...	danni	11	511	Feb 7, 2012 by danni
	Pride and envey (Preview) I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag...	Highlyfavored	6	402	Feb 7, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	My Daughter must be hitting her bottom...How much more can I endore? (Preview) My daughter with her 3 young children had no electric or heat. DFS is envolved. She was then staying with her cousin but that came to and end. Her and her boyfreind were staying so blitzed they didnt even know where there were at most of the time. Friday morning the boyfriend OD'd is on life support. ...	mdkm0726	4	340	Feb 6, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Ideas to stay busy? (Preview) Recently ive been hit with a deep depression when i get bored, i have been going though a lot of stress recently, im only 17 and my girlfriend is pregnant, and so much is going on. I used to have a game i would play online and i would play it from sun up to sun down and my own thoughts wouldnt bother me. But i have...	Wenani	8	485	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Doing the best I can (Preview) Right now I am falling apart. I'm very emotional, .. my 8 year old wants to come out and play and she is very tempermental and very overwhelming. She also carries so many of my codependent traits. She is demanding attention from someone else, she doesn't want my attention she wants her "protect...	Pushka	13	747	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	One Year (Preview) Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year. On the other hand, Im having a di...	Corgi2	8	415	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Update on Being Scammed (Preview) Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...	GailMichelle	5	558	Feb 6, 2012 by Jackie11
	I can't take it anymore (Preview) I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...	Tired Wife	8	490	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Working on... (Preview) My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...	Jackie11	2	301	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	URGENT advice needed - I am in despair. (Preview) I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...	tandangsora	21	756	Feb 6, 2012 by tandangsora
	Can't do it right now! (Preview) Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...	rehprof	7	436	Feb 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Follow up(deflection) (Preview) Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...	ilovedogs	7	425	Feb 6, 2012 by Tracey C
	I needed to set a time frame and boundaries (Preview) Hi my AH and I have been doing a tango for a while now about whether we will actually stay married or not! I am the one to keep bringing up the idea of spltting, because I am not able to find happiness living with the patterns of this disease. This forum and meetings have been invaluable, and many people her...	yanksfan51	6	554	Feb 5, 2012 by yanksfan51
	More "coincidences" from my HP (Preview) Once again the coincidences have started. I was in a rut the past three days and suddenly I am being hugged by my HP. I keep seeing license plate #'s that mean something to me. Deep in prayer, I look over to my right and the license plate read "HP" At a thrift store, I turn over this kitchen plaq...	Michelle814	8	454	Feb 5, 2012 by John
	Feeling good and healthy--but still want to know (Preview) I've had a really good day with my program today. Had a great, insightful appointment with my therapist today, and a good meeting tonight. Yet when I got home from my meeting, my wife seemed as if she had been drinking. She went to bed shortly after I got home, and I've already done one search of the house f...	usedtobeanyer	16	391	Feb 5, 2012 by Pushka
	My Dad is dying & my family wont let him (Preview) My father is 57 years old, he just celebrated his last birthday (the 23rd) in a kindred facility outside of Boston. On 12/28 he was admitted to the hospital with end stage liver disease, and the 30th he aspirated and found himself intubated in the ICU with pneumonia which soon progressed into ARDS. I l...	Daddys_babygirl	8	452	Feb 5, 2012 by kitilvr
	Driving the kids around (Preview) I want to confront my AH about last night. He picked up our son from an activity so that I could make it to my meeting. When I came home I smelled beer on him so I knew he had been drinking but I don't know if he did it before or after he picked up our son. I also found a receipt for a 6 pack that he purchased on the...	ilovedogs	13	301	Feb 4, 2012 by Pushka
	one step in the right direction... (Preview) Real quick: an update. I am doing better. saw the doctor early because I could not take the pain any longer! more than one doctor actually. I am off my current cholesterol meds. for 5 days. Still have pain. hard to type. I know it might take awhile after suffering for over 3 weeks. Prayers are still needed...	Hoot Nanny	2	236	Feb 4, 2012 by danni
	copy my post on ACA board (Preview) This is a copy of apost I put on the ACA board. I thought some people here may be able to offer some insight also well.. I had to go see the psychologist again. I have to say, I was very nervous about the next appointment given the emotional toil of the last one. I was not looking forward to it. I had been req...	Lindaoakford	2	311	Feb 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	6 th Step (Preview) Hi MIP Family With tomorrow being devoted to my Super Giants and all the fun of the Game I have posted the 6th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Even if you are not formally working the Steps this is a great oportunity to learn and grow and share Look forward to your ideas http://stepwork.activebo...	hotrod	0	261	Feb 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Looking for where to go. (Preview) I am looking for a way to help my partner. We are both in our 30s. He has a drinking problem. I am relatively successful in my career and life. I am not a child of a alcoholic, but I have many friends who are. So I know how damaging having an alcoholic in my life can be can be He is not in denial of his problem, he...	wanderingSoul	8	412	Feb 4, 2012 by Pushka
	a question about a higher power? (Preview) I just feel very stuck right now. I have been in the program for about 6 months and it feels very slow going. I haven't started the steps yet. I am getting so stuck in the "higher power" thing. Everyone seems to have their idea of their higher power. I keep feeling like if I don't choose th...	daisy31	8	357	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A sad life (Preview) My husband has no job, no money, no future. He was stabbed earlier this week by what he calls a "random act of violence". No one wants him around, including his own mother. He does not appear to know how to tell the truth- about anything. His "friends" look like people you would fin...	respect	4	484	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Afterwards (Preview) Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie	Otie	5	585	Feb 4, 2012 by oldergal
	Thinking Out Loud (Preview) My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...	Green Eyes	7	439	Feb 4, 2012 by yanksfan51
	Tired of the useless obsessive thoughts want to start work ASAP (Preview) I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...	HarleyQ	6	404	Feb 4, 2012 by hotrod
	EVERYONE, PLEASE READ (Preview) I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...	GailMichelle	5	542	Feb 4, 2012 by Debilyn
	Second meeting (Preview) I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...	stefani74	6	279	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Just for today... (Preview) ...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...	Mlkiss75	8	278	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	First Post (Preview) Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...	Sally	5	491	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Lots of things (Preview) Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....	Pushka	7	478	Feb 4, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	5 things I like to do .. (Preview) AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...	Pushka	9	783	Feb 3, 2012 by likemyheart
	How to keep from getting "wrapped around the axle" (Preview) This is my favorite expression when I get so angry or upset that I have a hard time coming out of it... it just keeps building and building. Sometimes venting helps. Sometimes chanting the serenity prayer. Any other ESH on this would be appreciated. I'm wound pretty tight right now.	amills4294	7	373	Feb 3, 2012 by rara avis
	Stuck and Need Ideas (Preview) So..as I navigate through this divorce process, trying to make ends meet as a single mom, keep a home, pay all the bills, provide support for my boys, and work 60+ hours a week...I am finding that I am still just tapped in terms of motivation and energy. makes me wonder, in general, how may of us experien...	rehprof	8	767	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Steping forward...fingers crossed. (Preview) My husband agreed to enter into outpatient rehab and has finally admitted that he will never be able to drink alcohol responsibly. I am not returning home with our son until he is enrolled and has been to his first session. He wanted me to come home after promising to participate in treatment, but actio...	Sreis44	3	368	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Walking Away (Preview) I am a 40 year old daughter of an alcoholic. I have been urged for many years to join al Al Anon group and have never had the courage. I found this message board online and really hope that it will help. My father is an alcoholic. He has been the majority of my life. I always thought he was the "fun&...	Brandi	4	340	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Bad Week (Preview) I am feeling like I have control over my AH again at times. I have been acting as if he MUST stay sober. I think its because I am, once again, thinking of wanting children and I know if he relapses my life will be a living hell. Maybe Ill never be a mother. I wont leave him just so I can have children. What, w...	Michelle814	13	580	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Growth...Whats Yours? :) (Preview) Last Night I went to My Meeting after a VERY LONG day, and when I got there, it was an Open Meeting were we choose a topic, and we chose one of our books to read from, and some where along the way ended up on the topic of Growth... I Can Not Speak for Anyone but me when it comes to Growth... I can say I have Seen Grow...	Jozie	6	327	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	triggers (Preview) Last Sunday I was triggered big time by my fear of abandonment, causing my character defects to go into full bloom. I was about to react in a way that would have harmed ME, I was about to end a very special relationship. My dis-ease had justified, rationalized and defended all the resentments going...	glad lee	5	268	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Insurance policy (Preview) I want to ask my AH if we can get a supplemental insurance policy on him. My take on it is that if he continues to drink and take anti depressants, which can cause liver damage, then I think I have a right to ask for extra protection. Does this make sense? Could it possibly trigger his anger? I just feel so ins...	ilovedogs	7	349	Feb 3, 2012 by Pushka
	Today reading 2/2/12 (Preview) The reading talked about 3 obstacles to success, one being gossip. We found the other was dominance, does anybody know the other? The was in Hope for Today's reading.	dorito	1	399	Feb 3, 2012 by glad lee
	Learn something new (Preview) This past Sunday I said good bye to one of my oldest friends so I've been feeling sad, I know that this too shall pass. I learned today that there is a search field and you can type in words and it pulls up the search. I always noticed the little bars but I've not done a word search before, I know I've been on her...	Jackie11	2	392	Feb 2, 2012 by HarleyQ
	It finally came.... (Preview) The letter in the mail that I've been waiting for and dreading at the same time finally came yesterday... He is to go to court in march for violation of probation... Requesting 30 days jail time... Reinstated on probatin with all of the same terms... AA twice a week, weekly contact with sponsor, contac...	kris10	2	350	Feb 3, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	My yesterday (may be a touchy subject) (Preview) Hi As some of you may remember, I have been 'helping' a friend who decided to terminate her pregnancy. Well yesterday I took her to the hospital and stayed with her all day. Her fiance (whom is a drinker and smoker of pot.. alot) was working and they decided it was too emotional for him to go as he really w...	Lindaoakford	8	330	Feb 3, 2012 by amills4294
	self esteem/feelings ? (Preview) I grew up hearing Self Esteem is the way we Feel about ourselves and yet Alanon has taught me feelings aren't facts .. So I began looking at this and the fact that Since my axb seems to be Feeling so much better he Must be better .. Then It began to turn in my mind and this is what I got .. If self esteem were simpl...	MeTwo2	4	246	Feb 2, 2012 by glad lee
	Dispassionate listening (Preview) I must admit I really judged alcoholics in the past. Some of it was because their actions really affected me. Yesterday I was on a bus (on the way to the job that pays nothing) and a woman was on there. She could not have been more than 35, young fresh faced and flirting with a man. She told a story of continu...	orchidlover	5	428	Feb 2, 2012 by orchidlover
	Resentment (Preview) Such a strong feeling of resentment I have right now. My AH is making no effort and picks fights for an excuse. I do not engage, but by doing that, I'm told I'm ignoring him. He is not going to meetings, he's hiding his drinking and the drinking has increased. When it comes down to it, I resent him enorm...	TLD	10	804	Feb 2, 2012 by danni
	Dog Delemia..... (Preview) I took my addicted son's dog when he was no longer caring for her (she is a lab/mut mix) she wasn't properly fed or given water because of his irresponsibility and she was left without proper care while he was gone with his drug buddies. The dog was happy with me, we loved her and took good care of her, but la...	DreamsOver	6	389	Feb 2, 2012 by DreamsOver
	Emotionally draining (Preview) It's so hard to accept that I'm powerless in this addiction. I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me. One thing I definitely know, I can't control what...	CassieKellz	9	388	Feb 2, 2012 by I_was_wrong
	adult children (Preview) Hi, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this here. For some reason the adult children room won't allow me to write in. For a few years now I have been following the adult children of alcoholics program as well as al-anon. It was through acoa that I came into al-anon. My question has to do with the steps t...	Tracey C	23	971	Feb 2, 2012 by Tracey C
	hard to be happy (Preview) My A finally decided for himself that he needed to get sober. I am so happy that he's taking such a huge step, but I hate seeing how depressed he gets going through his detox. And I feel so guilty because all I can think about is how many times he's gotten sober just to drink again so in my head I'm telling my...	CassieKellz	6	394	Feb 2, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Husband Stabbed (Preview) So the ER in the city my husband buys drugs from calls me to say my he has been stabbed, is stable, and police are there. I guess I will finish up here at work and go see how this story is going to play out. I am already guessing that he is going to hold strong to his story that he isn't using. I feel so many things...	respect	12	569	Feb 2, 2012 by orchidlover
	Worn down (Preview) I feel almost as worn down as I did when working with the ex A. Work is really hard to come by at the moment and I've been working retail. Trouble is I'm not getting enough hours and no matter what I say and do they give all the hours to a new girl who literally just walked in off the street. I've gone the offic...	orchidlover	4	475	Feb 2, 2012 by orchidlover
	Is this a good idea? (Preview) My AH is under the care of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I had a friend suggest that I ask him(AH) to attend an appointment with his psychologist and with me. She thinks I need to tell the psychologist what's going on. The late night drinking binges, the hiding of the alcohol, passing out on...	ilovedogs	8	490	Feb 1, 2012 by Jozie
	Good night :) (Preview) Not as in good night, Irene however I had a good night of sleep woo hoo!!! I got past 330am. I think I slept past 445am .. I did give myself time to wake up too. No spinning in my thinking. I did take some melatonin and that did help. The kids and I enjoyed an evening out with my MIL last night and tonight is m...	Pushka	5	367	Feb 1, 2012 by Jozie
	Is there a set format for meetings? (Preview) I've looked online but I find examples of differences so I'm not sure if I understand how the meetings are formatted exactly. Our group has two married couples who attend nearly every meeting and I've been uncomfortable recently at how off-the-format things have gotten. During last night's meet...	gardendelight	3	1338	Feb 1, 2012 by danni
	Let's talk about sex (Preview) I am baffled as I write this. My (separated) AH pretty much said he doesn't feel "support" from me while he is in recovery. We are not filing for divorce but he has his own apartment because, well I couldn't handle the lies/chaos any longer and it was pretty bad before that to build to the spli...	sookie	15	607	Feb 1, 2012 by sookie
	After effects for the enabler! (Preview) Hello beautiful people, It has been almost a month since I spoke to my ex. The last post was about his trial. As far as the trial goes, I stopped talking to him and the only way I find out is through inmate search and clerk of courts. His baby mama called me again saying he called her and said he was coming out s...	Julie3310	9	613	Feb 1, 2012 by Michelle814
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.