Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

daisy31 · daisy31

Lately I have been really focusing on letting go of all of my pre conceived ideas about a HP that I was raised with and it has been so freeing (it is still a work in progress for sure). I am trying to just let go and not analyze too much of anything...and I tell you it feels absolutely amazing! I have been enj...

Nanauq · Nanauq

I guess one of the worse parts of my disease is that I get my feelings hurt too easily. I have always been like this, ever since a child - long before I ever realized I was an al-anon. This morning he told a stupid joke. "Stuff your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and lock them in for a while. W...

Carly79 · Carly79

Hi all, I just spent an hour going through old posts and learning more about "detachment". It sounds like detachment is the way I've been dealing with my mother's drinking all along. I was feeling guilty for being able to walk away from it and leave her to it, while worrying about her safe...

amyefoy · amyefoy

My name is Amy and I have been in Al Anon before but not for a long time. I chose bad relationships....what I mean is I'm co-dependent. My father was an alcoholic and my last four relationships have been a disaster. My family hasnt spoken to me in two years this May....my mother, my sisters, and my 2 daugh...

sunnysmile · sunnysmile

Hi, everyone! I'm new to the board - a first time poster, but I've been silently visiting and reading the board daily for the past week or so. I've also been reading older posts you've all left as well (I think I've traveled back 'in time' with you all through your posts to at least November. If someone 'bu...

TLD · TLD

Well now I'm just angry, this just topped my levels of frustration. I get our television bill and there is 100.00 of pay per view. Hm, really hard to figure out what that is. He can't pitch in for any extra bill yet orders this!!! So, I left the bill on the counter with a total I need to be paid as it comes ou...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Thought some of you might appreciate this:

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife has moved back in. We were talking the other night and she mentioned how she had felt deserted during her second stint at rehab which was preceded by an intervention. I now realize that interventions are really for the family and friends, you can't really force anyone into recovery. Back t...

pineapple · pineapple

My A had an accident two weeks ago while drinking. I told two people about his fall/injury. A third friend knew about it because she was here at the time. She helped me get A to the clinic and stayed with me while he was being treated. Yesterday I decided I deserved/NEEDED an outing. I went into town for a n...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Is it a no-no to post on the AA message board site. I am curious sometimes to ask those on the other side of the coin things but don't know if that is appropriate? Anyone here do this or know if this is allowed or frowned upon?

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. lol .. here is my little codependent self .. someone decides they are moving out. How long do I have to keep their stuff? Anything that is his I've stuck in trash bags. I've kept dirty clothes and clean clothes separate. It's not so simple that I can put it in a shed or put it in a garage. We have mic...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, on Saturday night AH has plans to attend a party with a bunch of buddies. They're his new tennis drinking buddies and it's an organized party downtown, about 20 miles south of our house. Anyway, I was actually hoping that he would do something stupid that night and that maybe he would see how his bi...

wantinganswers · wantinganswers

I am struggling with finding the strength to feel compassion for my AH...we are seperated and going through a divorce,,which he has decided to fight because well, yeah..he wants a divorce because im the cause of all his misery but he doesnt want to have to pay support..thats just crazy..he cant affor...

Pushka · Pushka

Well reality has set in and acceptance, panic and fear are starting to set in. I never thought of myself recently as someone who needed to be in a relationship and now I'm thinking OMGosh .. I think I am which scares the life out of me. My mom, .. God love her .. was in a relationship at all costs and I just ca...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was at the gym today and a lady I know came up to me and started talking about Jesus and how he is so wonderful. I was caught off guard because I am really in a place right now where I am not focusing on any religion. In fact, I am trying to shed all of the past trauma that happened to me as a child to do with the rel...

Carly79 · Carly79

Hi, I'm glad I found this board and I'm hoping someone will be able to relate to my problem. I am the child of alcoholic parents. Was going to go into my whole life story, but really, it's irrelevant and won't help me deal with my problem NOW, which is my mother. She's always been a drinker, and I got pregn...

Annalise13 · Annalise13

I am a newcomer to Al-Anon; my fiance is a recovering alcoholic who is 3 months sober. The man and I have been together for four years, living together 2+ years and his drinking has been destructive and problematic, for some degree for the whole relationship, but seriously a problem for the last 1-2 yea...

stefani74 · stefani74

Anyone's A's have problems with meds they've been put on while trying to quit drinking? When my ABF went into rehab they put him on three different meds to help with the trembling and anxiety and depression. So after he gets home he goes to see his regular physican and he keeps him on them. Well after a w...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I am not sure if this is Al Anon related. I posted it on the ACA site but I have realised that many of you guys here have also done the ACA steps so thought you may have some ESH for me as you may not be on the ACA board. I have not been coping as well with the last psych session as I did the previous. It is only today...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I had my annual physical last week and just got my lab results back. You know, it's one thing to think you are getting better, but it's even more when you KNOW you are getting better. My blood pressure, cholesterol, blood glucose, triglycerides and weight are all the best levels they have been in the las...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Hello all, I've read this word - deflection - a number of times on a bunch of different posts in the last few days, and I want to know more about people's experiences with it! You see, for years, I think I haven't recognized it. I think I have been a sponge that automatically soaks up guilt. In my rela...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

Ok, this could be a lightening rod of a subject, but I am genuinely curious... Do most people assume that the Higher Power is Christian? I see and hear a LOT of allusions to this in meetings, and just take what I like and leave the rest. I do that on here as well... I am sharing on step 7 tomorrow and it is a toug...

Ariel · Ariel

I welcome any words of wisdom. I've been living with an AB for 4 years. We have a son together who is almost 3. It's a long story. When we met, I was going through a divorce from a very nice man- I just wasn't in love and thought I could find a fairy tale. I found a nightmare. I was single for a year before I met my A...

pineapple · pineapple

This has been a tough day for me. I've been here at least half a dozen times today. As well as reading my literature and saying the serenity prayer. My A has been drunk for the last three days. Constantly. Around the clock. He admitted to me today that he knows he is drinking himself to death and doesn't car...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

find myself questioning balance.with the hours i work i can get to about meeting about once a week.last night i didnt want to go to meeting i just wanted to spend time with my recovering ah.between us working,kids and meetings i feel myself being so lonely for the just us time. i didnt go to meeting and ne...

Chantel · Chantel

I am not real sure my husband can be catagorized as an alcholic. Right now he seems very funtional. That is why I need to know what to expect. He started drinking a lot of wine. He is now drinking a 5 liter box within 3 days. I figure he averages about 2 liters a day. When I approached him about maybe hav...

Vesu · Vesu

He's still living in our house but I moved to an apartment months ago. He wants me to come see him tonight, says he has things he needs to talk to me about. Really dreading this. We haven't seen each other in a while and when we spoke on the phone last week he just tore into me. Went on and on about how I aban...

TLD · TLD

Seems some choices are so hard to make. I'm trying to decide if I want to stay in this relationship with my AH or not. I know I don't have to make a decision right now, but the living situation has gotten fairly uncomfortable. He is bingge drinking and using drugs. In the last two weeks, we have not spoke...

amills4294 · amills4294

My partner lashes out when he is hurt - usually with not nice words instead of expressing what he feels. I used to cower under to try to soothe him or attack back. Today I was confronted with his unhappiness with me by him saying in a very nasty tone "I guess this is what I have to live with"... ...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I was just listening to an ACA workshop. In it, the fellow mentioned that when he was in aa, he learned about the concept of one day at a time, to keep his compulsion away. He said with aca though he needs to take it one feeling at a time. There was no way he could do it one day at a time. Wow!!! I never th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: a few days ago I felt so peaceful and serene, knowing I had let my AH know that while I understood I could not expect him to stop drinking, embrace recovery, etc there were certain things I knew I couldn't live with any more we agreed to give our marriage another try for 6 months, as we have now serio...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

This is quite funny to me actually, I mean kind of funny. I tried to order dilemma of the alcoholic marriage on amazon, but the credit card is maxed out, so are all the other ones. Thanks AH.this is a dilemma. The house of cards is finally falling down. We can't afford our bills any more and we are going to go...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Next weekend is my AH husband's move out of the house date. It has been 2 months since I made the decision not to continue our 7 year marriage and 17 year relationship, and I haven't doubted that decision until now. We agreed that 2 months would give him time to figure out what he wanted to do, and there ha...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Need to vent to the only people in the world who will understand. Came home last night and within minutes my AH went on a rampage. The worst I have ever seen. Screaming, punching in walls, throwing the gun he keeps in the house around, and then he discharged a bullet into the wall not knowing there was a rou...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I fell upon, by odd coincidence, a journal my Grandma kept the year I was born up until, perhaps, I was about ten. She does not talk much about me in her entries, because she had about 38 grandchildren so she did not write about any one particular child for long. She jumps back and forth, mainly talking a...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may know, I have been feeling a bit stressed of late. A few things going on in my life... friends, work. My husband and I have been getting along fine. He has many many stressors in his professional life at the moment. In my relapse, I have started checking and obsession again. Then judg...

Debilyn · Debilyn

befuddled by too many contridicting factors, confused. Needing to get back to simple. many of you know I am not landlady material. I always get hurt and burnt. This is the worst. court to get them out is this friday. The dep sheriff said this is the worst he has ever encountered. I called my place Potter'...

Vesu · Vesu

I recently left my husband of 10 years because of his addictions. He's started going to AA meetings and is looking to get involved with NA as well. We're living apart at the moment but he says he doesn't want a divorce, that we still have a chance. I'm pretty conflicted about that so I thought that while he...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Its been a while since I posted and I apologize for the length of this post but I am just now reaching a point where I am really ready to share because I have a better idea of where I am at now then I have for the past several weeks. I have a sponsor. The catalyst for me finally calling and asking someone, the fi...

Pushka · Pushka

I did some self care this weekend I went and got my hair cut and had it colored, ... felt so good to take care of myself. Today I had a dentist appointment, as well as a therapy appointment, as well and in a couple of weeks I need to schedule the physical I have been putting off for ohh .. let's see 3 years now. I...

emmyboo2 · emmyboo2

This is my first post although I have been on here looking at a lot of other posts to help get me through this. OK AH and I (married 6 years together 10) are now separated. I feel like I don't need to explain all the abuse, manipulation, blame, etc that I have been through with his alcoholism because we al...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm heading out in a few minutes to go with my adult daughter to meet her dad (my AH) for his birthday- we're taking out to dinner. My daughter asked me to go with her because she's uncomfortable with seeing him one on one right now. Unfortunately, I am very upset with him right now after having a two hour co...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

my ah is now 9 months sober,this is what i always wished for.he is working his programs and goes to lots of meetings, as he should be thats where he needs to be.so why feel a sense of loss.i want to spend every waking moment with him,just like i did when we first met.i think about him ever second of the day.he...

wp · wp

I have tried numerous times tonight , Monday, to enter the mip alanon chat room with no luck. I noticed in another post that others have had the same problem today. I suppose we could "meet" at but1purpose.org/ On the other hand , I have a bunch of other things to do and it's getting lat...

grammie · grammie

Hi Family, just wondered if anyone else is having a problem getting into the chat room this morning..Today is the 6th of Feb..guess my HP wants me to get busy doing some chores instead of sitting here LOL. Everyone have a blessed day, I'll see you all soon. Love in recovery, grammie

Davilu · Davilu

Hi I am a newbie and have a situation that is draining me mentally and physically and I feel very guilty. I am a 50 year old woman with 2 daughters and a great and supportive husband. Let me see if I can make this short and sweet (not so sweet) Both my 75 year old parents are and have been alcoholics since I c...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

What a crazy weekend I had. I was the only person not drinking at a family event and I did well up until the end. My brothers wanted to stay over night. One is 22 and the other is 19. I already see the 19 year old becoming very dependent upon not only alcohol, but just getting to do whatever it is he wants to...

Sent Via Email to All MIP members · John

Hello Everyone! I hope that the start of 2012 has shown to be a blessing to everyone who is registered on our site's message boards. As a registered member on our message boards, you may receive 3-4 emails per year. Your email account will not be slammed with a bunch of emails, nor will your em...

danni · danni

So, we (my AH and two little ones) have been having a not so great day due to lack of sleep, my crabbiness, life...things are getting better and my AH announces he wants to "take a break and go watch the superbowl". I said ok, since I am staying out of the way of potential drinking, which has bee...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter with her 3 young children had no electric or heat. DFS is envolved. She was then staying with her cousin but that came to and end. Her and her boyfreind were staying so blitzed they didnt even know where there were at most of the time. Friday morning the boyfriend OD'd is on life support. ...

Wenani · Wenani

Recently ive been hit with a deep depression when i get bored, i have been going though a lot of stress recently, im only 17 and my girlfriend is pregnant, and so much is going on. I used to have a game i would play online and i would play it from sun up to sun down and my own thoughts wouldnt bother me. But i have...

Pushka · Pushka

Right now I am falling apart. I'm very emotional, .. my 8 year old wants to come out and play and she is very tempermental and very overwhelming. She also carries so many of my codependent traits. She is demanding attention from someone else, she doesn't want my attention she wants her "protect...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year. On the other hand, Im having a di...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...

Tired Wife · Tired Wife

I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...

tandangsora · tandangsora

I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...

rehprof · rehprof

Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	learning to dance with my HP (Preview) Lately I have been really focusing on letting go of all of my pre conceived ideas about a HP that I was raised with and it has been so freeing (it is still a work in progress for sure). I am trying to just let go and not analyze too much of anything...and I tell you it feels absolutely amazing! I have been enj...	daisy31	8	847	Feb 10, 2012 by sunnysmile
	Hurt feelings (Preview) I guess one of the worse parts of my disease is that I get my feelings hurt too easily. I have always been like this, ever since a child - long before I ever realized I was an al-anon. This morning he told a stupid joke. "Stuff your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and lock them in for a while. W...	Nanauq	12	3179	Feb 10, 2012 by Nanauq
	So have I been doing it right all along? (Preview) Hi all, I just spent an hour going through old posts and learning more about "detachment". It sounds like detachment is the way I've been dealing with my mother's drinking all along. I was feeling guilty for being able to walk away from it and leave her to it, while worrying about her safe...	Carly79	1	339	Feb 10, 2012 by hotrod
	New here and I'm ready to begin to put my life back together (Preview) My name is Amy and I have been in Al Anon before but not for a long time. I chose bad relationships....what I mean is I'm co-dependent. My father was an alcoholic and my last four relationships have been a disaster. My family hasnt spoken to me in two years this May....my mother, my sisters, and my 2 daugh...	amyefoy	7	430	Feb 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Hi - and thank you - from a newbie to the board! (Preview) Hi, everyone! I'm new to the board - a first time poster, but I've been silently visiting and reading the board daily for the past week or so. I've also been reading older posts you've all left as well (I think I've traveled back 'in time' with you all through your posts to at least November. If someone 'bu...	sunnysmile	11	590	Feb 10, 2012 by sunnysmile
	Just plain angry (Preview) Well now I'm just angry, this just topped my levels of frustration. I get our television bill and there is 100.00 of pay per view. Hm, really hard to figure out what that is. He can't pitch in for any extra bill yet orders this!!! So, I left the bill on the counter with a total I need to be paid as it comes ou...	TLD	12	759	Feb 10, 2012 by Pushka
	Awesome Message (Preview) Thought some of you might appreciate this:	GailMichelle	1	410	Feb 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	It's not that I want to be the hero (anymore) (Preview) My wife has moved back in. We were talking the other night and she mentioned how she had felt deserted during her second stint at rehab which was preceded by an intervention. I now realize that interventions are really for the family and friends, you can't really force anyone into recovery. Back t...	DadtoCandE	6	399	Feb 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	hurtful words (Preview) My A had an accident two weeks ago while drinking. I told two people about his fall/injury. A third friend knew about it because she was here at the time. She helped me get A to the clinic and stayed with me while he was being treated. Yesterday I decided I deserved/NEEDED an outing. I went into town for a n...	pineapple	14	1208	Feb 10, 2012 by Nanauq
	Posting on AA Site (Preview) Is it a no-no to post on the AA message board site. I am curious sometimes to ask those on the other side of the coin things but don't know if that is appropriate? Anyone here do this or know if this is allowed or frowned upon?	surfgirl123	4	485	Feb 10, 2012 by pinkchip
	Fair? (Preview) Ok .. lol .. here is my little codependent self .. someone decides they are moving out. How long do I have to keep their stuff? Anything that is his I've stuck in trash bags. I've kept dirty clothes and clean clothes separate. It's not so simple that I can put it in a shed or put it in a garage. We have mic...	Pushka	9	599	Feb 10, 2012 by danni
	Darn (Preview) So, on Saturday night AH has plans to attend a party with a bunch of buddies. They're his new tennis drinking buddies and it's an organized party downtown, about 20 miles south of our house. Anyway, I was actually hoping that he would do something stupid that night and that maybe he would see how his bi...	ilovedogs	5	576	Feb 10, 2012 by danni
	compassion....really??? do I have to????? (Preview) I am struggling with finding the strength to feel compassion for my AH...we are seperated and going through a divorce,,which he has decided to fight because well, yeah..he wants a divorce because im the cause of all his misery but he doesnt want to have to pay support..thats just crazy..he cant affor...	wantinganswers	13	690	Feb 10, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Ouch (Preview) Well reality has set in and acceptance, panic and fear are starting to set in. I never thought of myself recently as someone who needed to be in a relationship and now I'm thinking OMGosh .. I think I am which scares the life out of me. My mom, .. God love her .. was in a relationship at all costs and I just ca...	Pushka	17	699	Feb 9, 2012 by Jackie11
	a lady who is pushing her beliefs (Preview) I was at the gym today and a lady I know came up to me and started talking about Jesus and how he is so wonderful. I was caught off guard because I am really in a place right now where I am not focusing on any religion. In fact, I am trying to shed all of the past trauma that happened to me as a child to do with the rel...	daisy31	12	713	Feb 9, 2012 by Pushka
	New and need to know how to deal with alcoholic mom (Preview) Hi, I'm glad I found this board and I'm hoping someone will be able to relate to my problem. I am the child of alcoholic parents. Was going to go into my whole life story, but really, it's irrelevant and won't help me deal with my problem NOW, which is my mother. She's always been a drinker, and I got pregn...	Carly79	6	534	Feb 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Can't find an Al-Anon meeting that I click with (Preview) I am a newcomer to Al-Anon; my fiance is a recovering alcoholic who is 3 months sober. The man and I have been together for four years, living together 2+ years and his drinking has been destructive and problematic, for some degree for the whole relationship, but seriously a problem for the last 1-2 yea...	Annalise13	7	463	Feb 9, 2012 by ythannah
	Problems with meds (Preview) Anyone's A's have problems with meds they've been put on while trying to quit drinking? When my ABF went into rehab they put him on three different meds to help with the trembling and anxiety and depression. So after he gets home he goes to see his regular physican and he keeps him on them. Well after a w...	stefani74	6	417	Feb 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	A letter to a little girl (me) (Preview) I am not sure if this is Al Anon related. I posted it on the ACA site but I have realised that many of you guys here have also done the ACA steps so thought you may have some ESH for me as you may not be on the ACA board. I have not been coping as well with the last psych session as I did the previous. It is only today...	Lindaoakford	6	863	Feb 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	Knowing that I am Getting Better (Preview) I had my annual physical last week and just got my lab results back. You know, it's one thing to think you are getting better, but it's even more when you KNOW you are getting better. My blood pressure, cholesterol, blood glucose, triglycerides and weight are all the best levels they have been in the las...	Green Eyes	4	449	Feb 9, 2012 by Michelle814
	deflection (Preview) Hello all, I've read this word - deflection - a number of times on a bunch of different posts in the last few days, and I want to know more about people's experiences with it! You see, for years, I think I haven't recognized it. I think I have been a sponge that automatically soaks up guilt. In my rela...	Iris lover of dogs	11	6598	Feb 9, 2012 by Pushka
	AlAnon is not allied with any sect, religion... (Preview) Ok, this could be a lightening rod of a subject, but I am genuinely curious... Do most people assume that the Higher Power is Christian? I see and hear a LOT of allusions to this in meetings, and just take what I like and leave the rest. I do that on here as well... I am sharing on step 7 tomorrow and it is a toug...	alanonicScotland	14	3396	Feb 9, 2012 by margob
	New Here (Preview) I welcome any words of wisdom. I've been living with an AB for 4 years. We have a son together who is almost 3. It's a long story. When we met, I was going through a divorce from a very nice man- I just wasn't in love and thought I could find a fairy tale. I found a nightmare. I was single for a year before I met my A...	Ariel	11	591	Feb 9, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	too, too sad (Preview) This has been a tough day for me. I've been here at least half a dozen times today. As well as reading my literature and saying the serenity prayer. My A has been drunk for the last three days. Constantly. Around the clock. He admitted to me today that he knows he is drinking himself to death and doesn't car...	pineapple	14	688	Feb 9, 2012 by hotrod
	balance?need to hear ideas or someone who understands (Preview) find myself questioning balance.with the hours i work i can get to about meeting about once a week.last night i didnt want to go to meeting i just wanted to spend time with my recovering ah.between us working,kids and meetings i feel myself being so lonely for the just us time. i didnt go to meeting and ne...	1 day at a time	6	464	Feb 9, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	New here and need lots of information please. (Preview) I am not real sure my husband can be catagorized as an alcholic. Right now he seems very funtional. That is why I need to know what to expect. He started drinking a lot of wine. He is now drinking a 5 liter box within 3 days. I figure he averages about 2 liters a day. When I approached him about maybe hav...	Chantel	7	404	Feb 9, 2012 by nyc018
	AH just called (Preview) He's still living in our house but I moved to an apartment months ago. He wants me to come see him tonight, says he has things he needs to talk to me about. Really dreading this. We haven't seen each other in a while and when we spoke on the phone last week he just tore into me. Went on and on about how I aban...	Vesu	8	757	Feb 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	Choices (Preview) Seems some choices are so hard to make. I'm trying to decide if I want to stay in this relationship with my AH or not. I know I don't have to make a decision right now, but the living situation has gotten fairly uncomfortable. He is bingge drinking and using drugs. In the last two weeks, we have not spoke...	TLD	10	568	Feb 8, 2012 by danni
	Practicing trying not to react.... (Preview) My partner lashes out when he is hurt - usually with not nice words instead of expressing what he feels. I used to cower under to try to soothe him or attack back. Today I was confronted with his unhappiness with me by him saying in a very nasty tone "I guess this is what I have to live with"... ...	amills4294	9	664	Feb 8, 2012 by 1 day at a time
	Adult Child - Feelings (Preview) Hi, I was just listening to an ACA workshop. In it, the fellow mentioned that when he was in aa, he learned about the concept of one day at a time, to keep his compulsion away. He said with aca though he needs to take it one feeling at a time. There was no way he could do it one day at a time. Wow!!! I never th...	Tracey C	4	398	Feb 8, 2012 by Tracey C
	any thoughts appreciated (Preview) Hi All: a few days ago I felt so peaceful and serene, knowing I had let my AH know that while I understood I could not expect him to stop drinking, embrace recovery, etc there were certain things I knew I couldn't live with any more we agreed to give our marriage another try for 6 months, as we have now serio...	yanksfan51	5	409	Feb 8, 2012 by Pushka
	Here's a dilemma for you (Preview) This is quite funny to me actually, I mean kind of funny. I tried to order dilemma of the alcoholic marriage on amazon, but the credit card is maxed out, so are all the other ones. Thanks AH.this is a dilemma. The house of cards is finally falling down. We can't afford our bills any more and we are going to go...	GreenerGrass	5	383	Feb 8, 2012 by yanksfan51
	trying to prepare myself (Preview) Next weekend is my AH husband's move out of the house date. It has been 2 months since I made the decision not to continue our 7 year marriage and 17 year relationship, and I haven't doubted that decision until now. We agreed that 2 months would give him time to figure out what he wanted to do, and there ha...	Iris lover of dogs	11	456	Feb 8, 2012 by yanksfan51
	The Shot Heard Round The World (Preview) Need to vent to the only people in the world who will understand. Came home last night and within minutes my AH went on a rampage. The worst I have ever seen. Screaming, punching in walls, throwing the gun he keeps in the house around, and then he discharged a bullet into the wall not knowing there was a rou...	surfgirl123	21	666	Feb 8, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	August 1984 (Preview) I fell upon, by odd coincidence, a journal my Grandma kept the year I was born up until, perhaps, I was about ten. She does not talk much about me in her entries, because she had about 38 grandchildren so she did not write about any one particular child for long. She jumps back and forth, mainly talking a...	Michelle814	6	424	Feb 8, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Its amazing how quick I can relapse (Preview) As some of you may know, I have been feeling a bit stressed of late. A few things going on in my life... friends, work. My husband and I have been getting along fine. He has many many stressors in his professional life at the moment. In my relapse, I have started checking and obsession again. Then judg...	Lindaoakford	8	542	Feb 8, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	bewildered (Preview) befuddled by too many contridicting factors, confused. Needing to get back to simple. many of you know I am not landlady material. I always get hurt and burnt. This is the worst. court to get them out is this friday. The dep sheriff said this is the worst he has ever encountered. I called my place Potter'...	Debilyn	10	743	Feb 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hey, I'm new here (Preview) I recently left my husband of 10 years because of his addictions. He's started going to AA meetings and is looking to get involved with NA as well. We're living apart at the moment but he says he doesn't want a divorce, that we still have a chance. I'm pretty conflicted about that so I thought that while he...	Vesu	14	505	Feb 7, 2012 by abbyal
	Learning how to communicate (Preview) Its been a while since I posted and I apologize for the length of this post but I am just now reaching a point where I am really ready to share because I have a better idea of where I am at now then I have for the past several weeks. I have a sponsor. The catalyst for me finally calling and asking someone, the fi...	Jackie11	8	438	Feb 7, 2012 by abbyal
	Good and long day .. (Preview) I did some self care this weekend I went and got my hair cut and had it colored, ... felt so good to take care of myself. Today I had a dentist appointment, as well as a therapy appointment, as well and in a couple of weeks I need to schedule the physical I have been putting off for ohh .. let's see 3 years now. I...	Pushka	13	715	Feb 7, 2012 by Michelle814
	Looking for strength (Preview) This is my first post although I have been on here looking at a lot of other posts to help get me through this. OK AH and I (married 6 years together 10) are now separated. I feel like I don't need to explain all the abuse, manipulation, blame, etc that I have been through with his alcoholism because we al...	emmyboo2	5	614	Feb 7, 2012 by pineapple
	ESH Request (Preview) I'm heading out in a few minutes to go with my adult daughter to meet her dad (my AH) for his birthday- we're taking out to dinner. My daughter asked me to go with her because she's uncomfortable with seeing him one on one right now. Unfortunately, I am very upset with him right now after having a two hour co...	Green Eyes	9	506	Feb 7, 2012 by amills4294
	think i maybe crazy (Preview) my ah is now 9 months sober,this is what i always wished for.he is working his programs and goes to lots of meetings, as he should be thats where he needs to be.so why feel a sense of loss.i want to spend every waking moment with him,just like i did when we first met.i think about him ever second of the day.he...	1 day at a time	5	500	Feb 7, 2012 by DreamXL
	MIP Chatroom down? (Preview) I have tried numerous times tonight , Monday, to enter the mip alanon chat room with no luck. I noticed in another post that others have had the same problem today. I suppose we could "meet" at but1purpose.org/ On the other hand , I have a bunch of other things to do and it's getting lat...	wp	0	288	Feb 7, 2012 by wp
	Anyone else having trouble? (Preview) Hi Family, just wondered if anyone else is having a problem getting into the chat room this morning..Today is the 6th of Feb..guess my HP wants me to get busy doing some chores instead of sitting here LOL. Everyone have a blessed day, I'll see you all soon. Love in recovery, grammie	grammie	4	371	Feb 7, 2012 by Bonnie
	I think I am an enabler...need to vent! Thank you (Preview) Hi I am a newbie and have a situation that is draining me mentally and physically and I feel very guilty. I am a 50 year old woman with 2 daughters and a great and supportive husband. Let me see if I can make this short and sweet (not so sweet) Both my 75 year old parents are and have been alcoholics since I c...	Davilu	7	514	Feb 7, 2012 by Davilu
	practice makes perfect (Preview) What a crazy weekend I had. I was the only person not drinking at a family event and I did well up until the end. My brothers wanted to stay over night. One is 22 and the other is 19. I already see the 19 year old becoming very dependent upon not only alcohol, but just getting to do whatever it is he wants to...	Michelle814	7	446	Feb 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Sent Via Email to All MIP members (Preview) Hello Everyone! I hope that the start of 2012 has shown to be a blessing to everyone who is registered on our site's message boards. As a registered member on our message boards, you may receive 3-4 emails per year. Your email account will not be slammed with a bunch of emails, nor will your em...	John	1	432	Feb 7, 2012 by lacewing
	AH wants to go "somewhere" to watch Superbowl (Preview) So, we (my AH and two little ones) have been having a not so great day due to lack of sleep, my crabbiness, life...things are getting better and my AH announces he wants to "take a break and go watch the superbowl". I said ok, since I am staying out of the way of potential drinking, which has bee...	danni	11	628	Feb 7, 2012 by danni
	Pride and envey (Preview) I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag...	Highlyfavored	6	484	Feb 7, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	My Daughter must be hitting her bottom...How much more can I endore? (Preview) My daughter with her 3 young children had no electric or heat. DFS is envolved. She was then staying with her cousin but that came to and end. Her and her boyfreind were staying so blitzed they didnt even know where there were at most of the time. Friday morning the boyfriend OD'd is on life support. ...	mdkm0726	4	417	Feb 6, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Ideas to stay busy? (Preview) Recently ive been hit with a deep depression when i get bored, i have been going though a lot of stress recently, im only 17 and my girlfriend is pregnant, and so much is going on. I used to have a game i would play online and i would play it from sun up to sun down and my own thoughts wouldnt bother me. But i have...	Wenani	8	573	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Doing the best I can (Preview) Right now I am falling apart. I'm very emotional, .. my 8 year old wants to come out and play and she is very tempermental and very overwhelming. She also carries so many of my codependent traits. She is demanding attention from someone else, she doesn't want my attention she wants her "protect...	Pushka	13	824	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	One Year (Preview) Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year. On the other hand, Im having a di...	Corgi2	8	508	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Update on Being Scammed (Preview) Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...	GailMichelle	5	642	Feb 6, 2012 by Jackie11
	I can't take it anymore (Preview) I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...	Tired Wife	8	568	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Working on... (Preview) My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...	Jackie11	2	382	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	URGENT advice needed - I am in despair. (Preview) I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...	tandangsora	21	839	Feb 6, 2012 by tandangsora
	Can't do it right now! (Preview) Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...	rehprof	7	525	Feb 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Follow up(deflection) (Preview) Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...	ilovedogs	7	522	Feb 6, 2012 by Tracey C
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