The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's so hard to accept that I'm powerless in this addiction. I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me.
One thing I definitely know, I can't control what he does or doesn't do and I can't be the one to save him, now all I need to figure out is what am I going to do to keep me from falling apart.
There is an al anon meeting tomorrow and I'm going, it will be my first one. I'm so ready to open up and stop holding everything inside which, I know, is necessary for me to heal.
Thank you for reading.
Good for you to accept the things you cannot change. And, so good for you to get to a meeting. Seriously, I put it off for about a year but I started going recently and it's been wonderful!
"Emotionally draining" is accurate. I was in al-anon for thirty years and then decided I was "cured" and dropped out. Now I need to come back. Only other al-anons really understand just how emotionally draining these situations can be, and we are the ones who can best help each other by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.
We live way out in the country and it's very hard to find a meeting that I can get to every week but I've got to do it. Please remind me it's not too late and that there's still hope for me, too.
Of course, we are all strong people and that is truly shown by how we reach out and share our pain.
It's never too late, I've grown up with pretty much every adult in my life being an addict and now I've fell in love with one. I believe we have an even stronger battle because we don't run to a drug or alcohol to numb our pain. Congrats to you for returning! Much love and support.
I could have written that. I am completely "emotionally drained". I haven't been to a meeting since early in his recovery, but I honestly didn't know how hard recovery was going to be. So I am right there with ya. Going to a meeting tomorrow because if I don't begin to do something for myself to get through this, I am afraid I will give up. And that's not what I want. He's too important to me.
I have found a meeting Wednesday at noon that is an hour's drive away - the others around here are all at night and I'd rather go in the daytime. If this is not a congenial meeting I will just have to keep trying to find one where I'm comfortable. My emotional sobriety has to be the priority now.
I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me. One thing I definitely know, I can't control what he does or doesn't do and I can't be the one to save him, now all I need to figure out is what am I going to do to keep me from falling apart.
If you reread your post, I think that you will realize that you have already decided what YOU need to do! (just my honest opinion)
