Stuck and Need Ideas - Al-Anon Family Group

rehprof · ~*Service Worker*~

Stuck and Need Ideas

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Don't kick me through the computer ..

.. really gratitude lists are what work for me. I even keep a journal of a daily 5, it depends on the day really if it's a really rough day .. I will write them out. If it's just kind of one of those moments of tottering .. then I am able to just do a mental 5. Say the serenity prayer and know that whatever is going on inside is a feeling and feelings aren't facts.

I know you are working your butt off right now, make time for yourself 20 min a day to just pray, meditate, recharge, whatever it is that makes you feel good about you. If you don't take care of you who will? You totally deserve that time though.

I have thought much about where is my "easy button" .. lol.

Hugs, keep coming back it does get better, P :)

glad lee · ~*Service Worker*~

"just keep swimming..." I really like that. For me, it was, "just keep marching..."

Some days, I didn't want to crawl out from under the covers. I was told to pray for more faith. "Pray for more faith and more strength, and it will come." It amazed me how that really worked, lol. In retrospect, I know now that my sponsor was trying to get my relationship with Higher power going, start talking, and start relying. That kinda became my spark.....

Of myself, I am nothing. With Higher power, I can do all things.

Because I just kept marching, just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to do the next right thing, I simply didn't realize that I was probably experiencing a great deal of grief. duh. I had been experiencing it as I was realizing I could no longer stay in the marriage....

It's a loss. Nobody has much spark when they are grieving. You're normal ((my friend))

-- Edited by glad lee on Thursday 2nd of February 2012 03:09:00 PM

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm sorry that you are feeling low.

When I feel low, I remind myself that it's my thoughts producing the crappy feelings. As Pushka share with you, gratitude lists can be a great remedy. For me, it gets my mind out of the gutter and with each acknowledgment written down on papter or on my "mental" pad, I feel better and better. At first, I got really frustrated with gratitude lists - my thoughts would always demand that I go back to reality - think of the crap that wasn't going my way - get it - "going my way."

I used to work 60+ hours too. But I made some changes in my life this year. I think we are in the same field, just you're in a higher level.

I know with small children it's not an option to change positions right nwo. So it might be wise to carve out some time just for you, even if it's 5 minutes here and there.

Okay, after all this rambling..................I'll cut through the chase.

My experience:

Just last year, at this time, I was a total mess. Things were challenging on all levels. I feel apart - truly. It all was a blessing in disguise. Part of my recovery, which is ongoing, was going to Al-anon meetings and reading the literature found there.

I am learning to go within and trust that small, non-pushy voice. That voice that I used to ignore, and instead, sought answers outside of myself. Thus, going absolutely nuts.

Make sense? If not, don't try to make sense of these. I feel this response might be all over the place.

True, it does get better. There is calm after the storm.

respect · Veteran Member

I have been working ridiculous, uncountable, amount of hours the last 3 years too. It is hard to stay afloat. Lately I have been taking 15 minutes in the morning to stretch, read my daily reader, massage some lotion into my feet, and just take some deep breaths before the day begins. Another thing I just found this week is that I like Opera music. So I turned on some Opera music and made myself an egg and bacon breakfast. Maybe this is something you could do while the kiddos are getting ready or maybe even still sleeping. I usually skip breakfast so this was quite a treat for me. I found that the best thing for me to get out of my slump was taking care of ME, even just 5 minutes here and there, you should try to find what that looks like for you and see if it effects your day any.

You sound like an incredibly strong woman. I hope you see that in yourself as much as I could hear it in your message. I hope you have a really great day.

danni · Senior Member

I admire all that you are doing. It always helps me to reach out to someone in need. Maybe a newcomer at a meeting or making a call to someone who shared about going through a difficult time. The humanity and humbling of that kind of connection helps me. Sending you support!

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Even now after a year and a half apart, 6 months divorced - sometimes I feel like I'm just trudging through life, like a donkey with his eyes on the carrot tied to a stick on his back. I sometimes think of Dory in Finding Nemo - Just keep swimming just keep swimming; sometimes its Dr. Phil saying "fake it till you make it". Things are better in my life, though I'm sometimes revisted by the deep loneliness that drove me to find someone in the first place who ended up destroying my sanity. Sometimes I replay a recording of HIM ranting on the phone in several phone messages, helps to remind me how poisonous it was, sometimes I re-read certain emails to do the same - reminding myself that lonely is better. Its been such a slow process returning to "ME"; I sometimes get a whiff of my old spark, it comes and goes, comes more with every week, I am grateful for the peace in my house and I know that this time of year is harder for me, I like the light and the dark cold days just make me want to hibernate. I am looking forward to spring and I have noticed myself sometimes looking at the opposite gender once in a while so I know I'm not dead "there" - I still have healing to do, but I've come a long way - my give a whoot button doesn't work for "him" (and those I deem like him) but it still does for others.

I really do sometimes whisper to myself, just keep swimming just keep swimming.

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

rehprof

prayer is #1 for me. Focusing on the words I am praying for, deep breathing, and handing things up to my HP. I hold out my hands as if to hand them to him. It helps me. I hope you start to feel better. Depression is tough and when your in the midst of it it seems like it will last forever.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

This time of year always plays havoc with me, but since my divorce was final this Summer I remember how nice it is to come home to a calm house with just the kids and I. I let a lot of things go, the house and suv, and horses, so I could afford to rent cheaper and I have a reliable used car. I would rather have the free time to make meetings and be a
Mom but I didn't have a good job to begin with. I am just going back to school this summer to get a better career. It sounds like you are crazy busy, just try to do the things that relax you. I love the saying Give from your overflow not your reserves.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.