Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Not the best Subject header but it's what it is .. I have a small daughter with my X partner of 11 years; he was clean for some time but is using a Legal Substance.. For the 3rd week in a row he has blown off his visitation with our daughter .. He's called week after week from unavailable phones and when we don'...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My oldest turned 14 and she wanted a family party. So I invited the exAH and his enabling parents over for dinner. My exFIL helped me cook in the kitchen which is normal and nice, while cooking he was asking me questions that I was uncomfortable answering, so I gently answered vaguely. My exMIL showed up...

TwistedServant · TwistedServant

Been away for a while. Back now. See you in the meetings and no doubt I'll tell a few stories about why I haven't been here or why I came back. Who knows.

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Is this common. I believe one of the readers either today or yesterday talked about it and it really spoke to me. In al-anon recovery its like waves. I will feel really hopeful and like I am making progress and then I will plummet. Nose dive back into my old ways and struggle. I also get like my brain is in o...

TwistedServant · TwistedServant

Got a funny story. Got to share it with you. It happened a few weeks ago. I've already mentioned in other posts that sponsorship is a big part of my program. And although I know men are supposed to sponsor men and women are supposed to sponsor women, I sponsor anyone who's willing to do the work required to...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

As I am going through the mental process of deciding whether to stay or go from my AH, I have started to think to myself "what would I do, or be doing, if he was not around?", funny thing is I often can't come up with anything. My life has become so small dealing with him that I really don't know wha...

Debilyn · Debilyn

When this older couple came up for a visit, they came to tell me my dear friend, yes the 3rd one, has a bad cancer. She, my mother and I were were and are very close. She helped Mother so much when she was dying of b cancer. I know she did not let me know becuz she knows what we went thru with mother. this last thre...

Aloha · Aloha

Though we're divorced, thankfully it was amicable... my exAH and I still keep in touch occasionally (like maybe once a month or every few months). The other day I got to feel and come to an awareness on where I currently draw the line in our contact with one another. The hardest part of that for me was voca...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI guys I have been on these boards for about 7 months now. That is a really short time. It has helped me alot but I fear it is becoming SUCH a part of my life that I spend hours here. Every day of the week I am here. I spend hours here when I am at work and don't get things done at work. I have shared much of my jo...

pineapple · pineapple

The last few days have been tough for me. I've been struggling, and know I've slipped in my recovery. This morning I was thinking of RLC and remembered that he used to remind me that the great thing about this program is that we can start over any time we need to. SO, I'm starting over this morning. I'm goin...

TwistedServant · TwistedServant

This is a story about step eleven. its not really an al-anon story. but its a good story and like all good stories it has a moral, and I like the way I tell it. One day I was walking along the beach after a meeting. I saw an old man walking toward me. Every so often, he would kneel down, pick something up and st...

Ariel · Ariel

Well, the ABF got so drunk on Monday that I woke up at 1:30 am to my phone ringing - him screaming at me as to why I locked the doors. Because I'm home alone with 2kids and honestly didn't want him in our home (home is in my name). He got in, he continued screaming at me but I couldn't really understand what he wa...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I know that people have been tremendously helped through the meetings of Al-Anon. I don't doubt their success. I have gone to quite a few meetings over the last few years, however, I feel lousy when I leave. I kept pursuing them thinking the dynamics change and people attending change, however, i...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I feel so grateful tonight. I feel such gratitude for all the friends I have made living this new way of life. I thought life would be dull when I first entered the room. I was afraid to change from my old ways. What I have learned is that life is so full of surprises and my HP really knows how to put things all...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to admit I don't know what I would do without that prayer as well as the Lord's Prayer. I say the serenity prayer so very often. When it helps me is in the morning, when ever I feel the urge to control (well that can be what .. 50x a day?!), at night before I go to bed, and when I wake at night, which is get...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have not started Al-Anon meetings, but I was wondering if and when a person does are there people there that you could get together with one day in the week? Or you could call on the phone or whatever? I just wondered because my life was turned up side down due to alcoholism and at first I had HORRIBLE anx...

Pushka · Pushka

I've been a very busy lady recently, .. lol .. and I have time on my hands every other weekend I was out for an early morning drive. Well, been down this street a million times passing this church with it's electric billboard sign and son of a gun .. the best quote ever jumped out and it was such a God thing fo...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I started writing this yesterday, was unable to finish it until today. My 2 adult children are a/a's, I 've been in al-anon for 10+yrs. and I still struggle with the letting go part. Today I was thinking I could do it if I lived in a different city I could do it, then I wouldn't have to see or think of th...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

This was in my husband's Twenty Four Hours a Day Book, I just happened to pick it up and thought it was great and I should share it here "I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The truth is is that I am healing slowly. I am not sure what is going on w/ me except that I will grow through this experience & maybe give a little of it to others. I am not sure if I will heal today, tomorrow or sometime in the future but I am determined to not let pain get me down! Sometimes I just feel like...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

AH just walked out. Mad about... well, mad about whatever turmoil is his. I didn't argue. I remainded calm. I said one thing I shouldn't have. I apologized. I calmly spoke my truth: "I'm afraid of you and what you have become." I'm calm. Quiet. Increasing my conscious contact with my HP. My s...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I will make this brief. My AH was under the influence tonight. I have stopped asking if he is, because he lies. He said he was going to make a phone call, but then called someone else. I asked which friend he was going to call since he has a few friends by that same first name. He totally forgot that h...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Many of you have mentioned that I should let AH tell our son about what is going on. Son is asking questions, though. He stayed with a friend for 5 hours today and he asked what we were out doing and I told him that it was a thing for dad that I had to help him with. He asked what it was and I said you have to ask y...

wp · wp

Chatroom is telling me it's under construction. What? lol Will be good to break down the door soon :) wp

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH was pulled over for running a red light and failure to drive in one lane. The breathalyzer test read .179 and he did submit to a blood test, too. Thank God he didn't hurt anyone else on the road. They impounded his car, took his license and it looks like it's suspended for 90 days right now. I believe...

wantinganswers · wantinganswers

2 yrs clean and sober today......he is living 8 blocks away, having an affair and abandoning his kids. My son went to school again with no breakfast and no lunch money. He is posting on fb how proud he is of his accompishments and what a better person he is...and I am sad that he does not even care to celebr...

Isabella · Isabella

I was wondering if anyone knows of meetings for 'couples' in either Al-Anon or AA. My partner has been sober for 9 years but we need help with other issues directly related.

Sally · Sally

I am currently a little over a year into my 3rd marriage. The pattern is repeating itself yet again. In each case, they had drinking/controlling issues. Seems that I was okay with it in the beginning, but as time went on it became more and more unacceptable to me. I confronted and demanded changes,...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

UGH! I had to miss my meeting tonight because my mom is in town and I had to take her to another city for an accordion meeting(she performs in an accordion orchestra). Anyway, I came home, pulled in the garage, and there is a full empty bottle of wine on the front seat and a half drunk cup of wine in the cuph...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Ihad a psychologist appointment yesterday afternoon. I am starting to warm to her a little bit. I would want to.. I have seen her about 10 times now. It is just so hard to bring down those barriers to people. I find it hard to show on the outside what I am feeling on the inside. I am so used to hiding my tr...

kris10 · kris10

Is it EVER good to retaliate??? I've never felt this way before but right now I think that retaliation would make me feel a whole lot better.... ESH please

agapi · agapi

I am fairly new to AlAnon and just got home from a meeting about the second step. I shared my experience about my higher power and how my concept of that had changed over the years. Now I am concerned that I can no longer be an AlAnon member because if I keep going to meetings I cannot share my truth. Our gr...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I'm back at step one. My life is out of control. I went into the steps here on the board hotrod a help posting on there. Here are some of the things i'm dealing with. Who in my life is making me feel crazy and causing stress ? The A if I let him. Who has been controling your emotions and other areas of my life ?...

SusanThomas · SusanThomas

I know exactly what is going on - intellectually but (and I know but is a big word) I am having a really hard time with my present living situation. I lost my job and am living with my daughter and watching my granddaughter in exchange for rent. My daughter has started using cocaine on a regular basis and I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

How does one get into their inbox? I can click I have a message but the message will not come up. thank you ok something is wrong again. Says I have two messages I do not. Now it won't let me delete or edit my messages. Says I don't have the right to do this or something? yikes! -- Edited by Debilyn on Thursday...

emmyboo2 · emmyboo2

Is it bad that I hope the AH gets convicted of this DUI? He may lose his job if he gets convicted but I dont care because I am hoping it will get him to his bottom and he will go to inpatient rehab. I even called the prosecuter as did his sister in order to testify against him. He has enabling parents who are help...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Admittedly, I am in a highly unique situation. One of my AH's friends has been staying with us for six weeks. He recently started a job where my AH works, and has been using this time to save some money, get to know the area, and look for a place (his wife and daughter will be moving up here too, once they fi...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

So, aside from my father who is a desperately sick, barely functioning alcoholic, my alcoholic husband, I also have a recovering drug addict sister. I tend to forget about the impact she has had on my sickness. She introduced me to drugs when I was young and I won't even get into how bad that was, but it's...

daisy31 · daisy31

So since I have been learning about my HP and all I have had this lingering feeling that the Christian God I grew up with is sooo mad at me. I keep asking myself if I could be going to hell if I don't believe in all of the bible. I am obsessing about it. I was raised to believe that I would go to hell if I didn't b...

John · John

Our site is currently down so access to the chatroom via the site entrance is not possible at this time. I am working diligently to get it back up and running asap. John

robind78 · robind78

I have been in Al-Anon for several months. Recently, my daughter's ABF was put on a sabbatical because of his drinking. His supervisor told him that his job would be held for 30 days pending him going to in-patient rehab. Unfortunately this ABF does not have health insurance and I really don't thin...

emil · emil

I spoke to my husband about returning to Al- Anon and returning to therapy. It was hard for him to understand- why would I need to go to therapy and meetings since he is not drinking. I really was able to communicate my struggles the past few months, my insecurities, my lack of trust, my resentments, an...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

My soon to be ex is supposedly going on 6 months of sobriety. My lawyer is the only one who talks to him and my lawyer said that he was apethetic. I was wondering if it is normal to be apethetic while recovering from alcoholism or if he just does not care about me or the marriage? I was wondering if that is t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I heard that this weekend and it really struck me as to how true it is. In and of itself, it doesn't really mean anything. But I think it gives us an opportunity to step back, quit taking it personally, and remember that our alcoholics truly are sick. Definitely a new mantra for me...

TLD · TLD

Thank you to everyone for your support. I am still at my parents and have met with victim services. They have confirmed my thoughts of the abuse I have put up for way too long. It's amazing that on my drive there, I thought, hm, is this the right thing to do? Yes, yes it is and I will pursue this. I feel ca...

wp · wp

Does anyone know why I can't get into the chatroom tonight? wp

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH has relapsed. Smoking pot daily. So many don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I am trying to remain calm but I feel like my life is falling apart in front of my very eyes. My son is getting D's and F's in school, he is in middle school. He doesn't care and I don't know what to do. My daughter is a...

Tracy73 · Tracy73

My husband has had an addiction to perscription pain pills for about 11 years now. For all these years I have taken care of almost everything, the house, our kids, his business and worked my own full time job. Last year he started to go to meetings and got clean. He has been for a year now. I hoped that t...

daisy31 · daisy31

Okay, I do this thing on facebook. I will want to post a status of a saying that I love like today I posted "I am not perfect and that is fine with me". I really like that saying and posted it......only to go back and delete it 2 minutes later. I start thinking that someone will think I am weird e...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I haven't posted for a while. I have tried a few times but my internet access seemed to drop out, or it disappeared into the internet world somewhere... My last session with my psychologist nearly a fortnight ago knocked me around a bit. I posted the letter here I think. I am feeling better now but I was v...

daisy31 · daisy31

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day. What are you all doing for V-day? My boys have a school party which I love being able to go to and get lots of cute pictures of them :) I bought my hubby a bag of his favorite licorice...how's that for romance ha! We don't do anything too special for V...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I have been totally absorbed in A- and codependency-related stuff over the last few days, and it's definitely affecting my ability to stay serene. One of the things I really miss about having a "normal" life is just sharing random things about life. Since we've moved to a new area, I don't...

sirchef · sirchef

Well for the second day in a row I can't access the room. So what techniques from our program will help me deal with this frustration? Is all this a test for us who are experiencing the same problem to really apply the program to this ? well for me I'm really not doing very well at it. lol but not funny. This ro...

stefani74 · stefani74

Well last night was our first Valentine's Day and it was our first night with all of our kids spending the night together with us. He's really working hard to be a better dad to his two and be a dad to mine as well. I am really proud of the effort he's making and he's very proud of his progress since becoming...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Last weekend, my AH moved out. I had made the decision in early December, based on him breaking an important boundary, but we had agreed that we would keep living in the same house for 2 months, to give him time to figure out what he is going to do. So, on SAT, I helped him move all of his big stuff to a storag...

stephaniej · stephaniej

At least, this is true of my HP as I understand my HP to be. My HP can't stop loving me, and can't stop forgiving me.

stephaniej · stephaniej

This is my mantra in this exact moment. A minor blowup on the phone, that I cut short by saying I love you, I'll talk to you later, good-bye. And now I'm fighting that co-dependent urge to call back, smooth things over, apologize for things I never did, just to make peace. But I know to do that would only...

kel246 · kel246

Hi. This is my first post. I really don't want to make an outreach call but I don't want to isolate. I actually do want to isolate, stick my head in the sand and feel like a victim but I'm taking contrary action and typing away. Really feel so grateful for Al-Anon and the support I find here. I have a lot goin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm doing fine these days with emotional detachment with my AH, and being physically separated helps a lot, but the financial mess that my AH has created is not allowing me to stay on "my side of sidewalk." I can't just mind my own business and just work on myself when it comes to the IRS, our ho...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The X meth addict in my life & his new Legal addiction (Preview) Not the best Subject header but it's what it is .. I have a small daughter with my X partner of 11 years; he was clean for some time but is using a Legal Substance.. For the 3rd week in a row he has blown off his visitation with our daughter .. He's called week after week from unavailable phones and when we don'...	MeTwo2	8	613	Feb 20, 2012 by Pushka
	Exhausting birthday dinner (Preview) My oldest turned 14 and she wanted a family party. So I invited the exAH and his enabling parents over for dinner. My exFIL helped me cook in the kitchen which is normal and nice, while cooking he was asking me questions that I was uncomfortable answering, so I gently answered vaguely. My exMIL showed up...	Breakingfree	7	355	Feb 20, 2012 by Pushka
	Returning to MIP (Preview) Been away for a while. Back now. See you in the meetings and no doubt I'll tell a few stories about why I haven't been here or why I came back. Who knows.	TwistedServant	5	378	Feb 20, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Question about Recovery's Ups and Downs (Preview) Is this common. I believe one of the readers either today or yesterday talked about it and it really spoke to me. In al-anon recovery its like waves. I will feel really hopeful and like I am making progress and then I will plummet. Nose dive back into my old ways and struggle. I also get like my brain is in o...	Michelle814	18	549	Feb 20, 2012 by Michelle814
	Lunch For Two (Preview) Got a funny story. Got to share it with you. It happened a few weeks ago. I've already mentioned in other posts that sponsorship is a big part of my program. And although I know men are supposed to sponsor men and women are supposed to sponsor women, I sponsor anyone who's willing to do the work required to...	TwistedServant	2	403	Feb 20, 2012 by Wolfie55
	What Would I Do? (Preview) As I am going through the mental process of deciding whether to stay or go from my AH, I have started to think to myself "what would I do, or be doing, if he was not around?", funny thing is I often can't come up with anything. My life has become so small dealing with him that I really don't know wha...	surfgirl123	7	437	Feb 20, 2012 by Wolfie55
	I found out thursday (Preview) When this older couple came up for a visit, they came to tell me my dear friend, yes the 3rd one, has a bad cancer. She, my mother and I were were and are very close. She helped Mother so much when she was dying of b cancer. I know she did not let me know becuz she knows what we went thru with mother. this last thre...	Debilyn	7	390	Feb 20, 2012 by Ariel
	Speaking up on boundaries (Preview) Though we're divorced, thankfully it was amicable... my exAH and I still keep in touch occasionally (like maybe once a month or every few months). The other day I got to feel and come to an awareness on where I currently draw the line in our contact with one another. The hardest part of that for me was voca...	Aloha	2	439	Feb 20, 2012 by TwistedServant
	I will read but not post for a while (Preview) HI guys I have been on these boards for about 7 months now. That is a really short time. It has helped me alot but I fear it is becoming SUCH a part of my life that I spend hours here. Every day of the week I am here. I spend hours here when I am at work and don't get things done at work. I have shared much of my jo...	Lindaoakford	8	448	Feb 20, 2012 by pinkchip
	starting over (Preview) The last few days have been tough for me. I've been struggling, and know I've slipped in my recovery. This morning I was thinking of RLC and remembered that he used to remind me that the great thing about this program is that we can start over any time we need to. SO, I'm starting over this morning. I'm goin...	pineapple	7	397	Feb 20, 2012 by Pushka
	Please God, Show Me What To Do (Preview) This is a story about step eleven. its not really an al-anon story. but its a good story and like all good stories it has a moral, and I like the way I tell it. One day I was walking along the beach after a meeting. I saw an old man walking toward me. Every so often, he would kneel down, pick something up and st...	TwistedServant	2	631	Feb 19, 2012 by TwistedServant
	Confused & Disappointed (Preview) Well, the ABF got so drunk on Monday that I woke up at 1:30 am to my phone ringing - him screaming at me as to why I locked the doors. Because I'm home alone with 2kids and honestly didn't want him in our home (home is in my name). He got in, he continued screaming at me but I couldn't really understand what he wa...	Ariel	8	534	Feb 19, 2012 by Ariel
	Anybody feel this way about AlAnon Meetings (Preview) I know that people have been tremendously helped through the meetings of Al-Anon. I don't doubt their success. I have gone to quite a few meetings over the last few years, however, I feel lousy when I leave. I kept pursuing them thinking the dynamics change and people attending change, however, i...	wifeofalcoholic	6	742	Feb 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Step Bosrd (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763	hotrod	1	312	Feb 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Perspective (Preview) I feel so grateful tonight. I feel such gratitude for all the friends I have made living this new way of life. I thought life would be dull when I first entered the room. I was afraid to change from my old ways. What I have learned is that life is so full of surprises and my HP really knows how to put things all...	Michelle814	3	422	Feb 19, 2012 by TwistedServant
	Serenity Prayer (Preview) I have to admit I don't know what I would do without that prayer as well as the Lord's Prayer. I say the serenity prayer so very often. When it helps me is in the morning, when ever I feel the urge to control (well that can be what .. 50x a day?!), at night before I go to bed, and when I wake at night, which is get...	Pushka	4	672	Feb 19, 2012 by TwistedServant
	F2F Al-Anon Meetings (Preview) I have not started Al-Anon meetings, but I was wondering if and when a person does are there people there that you could get together with one day in the week? Or you could call on the phone or whatever? I just wondered because my life was turned up side down due to alcoholism and at first I had HORRIBLE anx...	ttpurtee	5	338	Feb 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Uplifting Quote (Preview) I've been a very busy lady recently, .. lol .. and I have time on my hands every other weekend I was out for an early morning drive. Well, been down this street a million times passing this church with it's electric billboard sign and son of a gun .. the best quote ever jumped out and it was such a God thing fo...	Pushka	6	439	Feb 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Letting go of my 2 a/a's! (Preview) Hi! I started writing this yesterday, was unable to finish it until today. My 2 adult children are a/a's, I 've been in al-anon for 10+yrs. and I still struggle with the letting go part. Today I was thinking I could do it if I lived in a different city I could do it, then I wouldn't have to see or think of th...	Highlyfavored	1	359	Feb 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Today's Meditation (Preview) This was in my husband's Twenty Four Hours a Day Book, I just happened to pick it up and thought it was great and I should share it here "I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that g...	Michelle814	0	286	Feb 18, 2012 by Michelle814
	as I heal, I grow! (Preview) The truth is is that I am healing slowly. I am not sure what is going on w/ me except that I will grow through this experience & maybe give a little of it to others. I am not sure if I will heal today, tomorrow or sometime in the future but I am determined to not let pain get me down! Sometimes I just feel like...	Hoot Nanny	1	332	Feb 19, 2012 by Tattyhead
	Could use a little support (Preview) AH just walked out. Mad about... well, mad about whatever turmoil is his. I didn't argue. I remainded calm. I said one thing I shouldn't have. I apologized. I calmly spoke my truth: "I'm afraid of you and what you have become." I'm calm. Quiet. Increasing my conscious contact with my HP. My s...	Very Very Tired	13	421	Feb 18, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	I need help trying to figure out what to do (Preview) I will make this brief. My AH was under the influence tonight. I have stopped asking if he is, because he lies. He said he was going to make a phone call, but then called someone else. I asked which friend he was going to call since he has a few friends by that same first name. He totally forgot that h...	wifeofalcoholic	9	564	Feb 18, 2012 by TLD
	Telling the kids (Preview) Many of you have mentioned that I should let AH tell our son about what is going on. Son is asking questions, though. He stayed with a friend for 5 hours today and he asked what we were out doing and I told him that it was a thing for dad that I had to help him with. He asked what it was and I said you have to ask y...	ilovedogs	6	369	Feb 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Chatroom Friday what? (Preview) Chatroom is telling me it's under construction. What? lol Will be good to break down the door soon :) wp	wp	1	259	Feb 18, 2012 by John
	He got an extreme DUI (Preview) AH was pulled over for running a red light and failure to drive in one lane. The breathalyzer test read .179 and he did submit to a blood test, too. Thank God he didn't hurt anyone else on the road. They impounded his car, took his license and it looks like it's suspended for 90 days right now. I believe...	ilovedogs	16	604	Feb 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	AH 2 years clean and sober today (Preview) 2 yrs clean and sober today......he is living 8 blocks away, having an affair and abandoning his kids. My son went to school again with no breakfast and no lunch money. He is posting on fb how proud he is of his accompishments and what a better person he is...and I am sad that he does not even care to celebr...	wantinganswers	9	687	Feb 18, 2012 by Jerry F
	Al-Anon Couples meetings al-anon couples meetings al-anon family meetings al-anon (Preview) I was wondering if anyone knows of meetings for 'couples' in either Al-Anon or AA. My partner has been sober for 9 years but we need help with other issues directly related.	Isabella	3	8341	Feb 18, 2012 by hotrod
	My Pattern Repeating itself, AGAIN! (Preview) I am currently a little over a year into my 3rd marriage. The pattern is repeating itself yet again. In each case, they had drinking/controlling issues. Seems that I was okay with it in the beginning, but as time went on it became more and more unacceptable to me. I confronted and demanded changes,...	Sally	20	631	Feb 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Missed my meeting, came home to a drunk (Preview) UGH! I had to miss my meeting tonight because my mom is in town and I had to take her to another city for an accordion meeting(she performs in an accordion orchestra). Anyway, I came home, pulled in the garage, and there is a full empty bottle of wine on the front seat and a half drunk cup of wine in the cuph...	ilovedogs	8	409	Feb 18, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	feeling calmer (Preview) Ihad a psychologist appointment yesterday afternoon. I am starting to warm to her a little bit. I would want to.. I have seen her about 10 times now. It is just so hard to bring down those barriers to people. I find it hard to show on the outside what I am feeling on the inside. I am so used to hiding my tr...	Lindaoakford	9	534	Feb 18, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	quick question... (Preview) Is it EVER good to retaliate??? I've never felt this way before but right now I think that retaliation would make me feel a whole lot better.... ESH please	kris10	13	703	Feb 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Higher Power (Preview) I am fairly new to AlAnon and just got home from a meeting about the second step. I shared my experience about my higher power and how my concept of that had changed over the years. Now I am concerned that I can no longer be an AlAnon member because if I keep going to meetings I cannot share my truth. Our gr...	agapi	9	627	Feb 17, 2012 by agapi
	Breaking Down (Preview) I'm back at step one. My life is out of control. I went into the steps here on the board hotrod a help posting on there. Here are some of the things i'm dealing with. Who in my life is making me feel crazy and causing stress ? The A if I let him. Who has been controling your emotions and other areas of my life ?...	peacewithin	11	376	Feb 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Feel Stuck in an Enabling/Codependant Living Situation (Preview) I know exactly what is going on - intellectually but (and I know but is a big word) I am having a really hard time with my present living situation. I lost my job and am living with my daughter and watching my granddaughter in exchange for rent. My daughter has started using cocaine on a regular basis and I...	SusanThomas	4	802	Feb 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Inbox (Preview) How does one get into their inbox? I can click I have a message but the message will not come up. thank you ok something is wrong again. Says I have two messages I do not. Now it won't let me delete or edit my messages. Says I don't have the right to do this or something? yikes! -- Edited by Debilyn on Thursday...	Debilyn	4	342	Feb 17, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling a little bad (Preview) Is it bad that I hope the AH gets convicted of this DUI? He may lose his job if he gets convicted but I dont care because I am hoping it will get him to his bottom and he will go to inpatient rehab. I even called the prosecuter as did his sister in order to testify against him. He has enabling parents who are help...	emmyboo2	6	514	Feb 17, 2012 by Michelle814
	How do you deal with your A's enablers? (Preview) Admittedly, I am in a highly unique situation. One of my AH's friends has been staying with us for six weeks. He recently started a job where my AH works, and has been using this time to save some money, get to know the area, and look for a place (his wife and daughter will be moving up here too, once they fi...	stephaniej	11	3387	Feb 17, 2012 by All I can be
	Post traumatic stress? (Preview) So, aside from my father who is a desperately sick, barely functioning alcoholic, my alcoholic husband, I also have a recovering drug addict sister. I tend to forget about the impact she has had on my sickness. She introduced me to drugs when I was young and I won't even get into how bad that was, but it's...	GreenerGrass	5	415	Feb 17, 2012 by Pushka
	I just can't get over this religion thing (Preview) So since I have been learning about my HP and all I have had this lingering feeling that the Christian God I grew up with is sooo mad at me. I keep asking myself if I could be going to hell if I don't believe in all of the bible. I am obsessing about it. I was raised to believe that I would go to hell if I didn't b...	daisy31	18	981	Feb 17, 2012 by Christy
	Our site is down.... (Preview) Our site is currently down so access to the chatroom via the site entrance is not possible at this time. I am working diligently to get it back up and running asap. John	John	2	287	Feb 17, 2012 by Tracey C
	Support Letter (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for several months. Recently, my daughter's ABF was put on a sabbatical because of his drinking. His supervisor told him that his job would be held for 30 days pending him going to in-patient rehab. Unfortunately this ABF does not have health insurance and I really don't thin...	robind78	6	641	Feb 17, 2012 by canadianguy
	emil's update (Preview) I spoke to my husband about returning to Al- Anon and returning to therapy. It was hard for him to understand- why would I need to go to therapy and meetings since he is not drinking. I really was able to communicate my struggles the past few months, my insecurities, my lack of trust, my resentments, an...	emil	5	384	Feb 16, 2012 by emil
	Apathetic (Preview) My soon to be ex is supposedly going on 6 months of sobriety. My lawyer is the only one who talks to him and my lawyer said that he was apethetic. I was wondering if it is normal to be apethetic while recovering from alcoholism or if he just does not care about me or the marriage? I was wondering if that is t...	ttpurtee	2	608	Feb 16, 2012 by Michelle814
	"Hurt people hurt people" (Preview) I heard that this weekend and it really struck me as to how true it is. In and of itself, it doesn't really mean anything. But I think it gives us an opportunity to step back, quit taking it personally, and remember that our alcoholics truly are sick. Definitely a new mantra for me...	usedtobeanyer	7	810	Feb 16, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update this week (Preview) Thank you to everyone for your support. I am still at my parents and have met with victim services. They have confirmed my thoughts of the abuse I have put up for way too long. It's amazing that on my drive there, I thought, hm, is this the right thing to do? Yes, yes it is and I will pursue this. I feel ca...	TLD	7	409	Feb 16, 2012 by TLD
	Tuesday night java failure (Preview) Does anyone know why I can't get into the chatroom tonight? wp	wp	2	263	Feb 16, 2012 by wp
	It must be me? (Preview) My AH has relapsed. Smoking pot daily. So many don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I am trying to remain calm but I feel like my life is falling apart in front of my very eyes. My son is getting D's and F's in school, he is in middle school. He doesn't care and I don't know what to do. My daughter is a...	dragonflys	11	417	Feb 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	Trying to pick up the pieces (Preview) My husband has had an addiction to perscription pain pills for about 11 years now. For all these years I have taken care of almost everything, the house, our kids, his business and worked my own full time job. Last year he started to go to meetings and got clean. He has been for a year now. I hoped that t...	Tracy73	6	422	Feb 16, 2012 by wantinganswers
	Is this Codependant? (Preview) Okay, I do this thing on facebook. I will want to post a status of a saying that I love like today I posted "I am not perfect and that is fine with me". I really like that saying and posted it......only to go back and delete it 2 minutes later. I start thinking that someone will think I am weird e...	daisy31	9	424	Feb 16, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Haven't posted for a while.. triggered and a bit lhigh strung (Preview) I haven't posted for a while. I have tried a few times but my internet access seemed to drop out, or it disappeared into the internet world somewhere... My last session with my psychologist nearly a fortnight ago knocked me around a bit. I posted the letter here I think. I am feeling better now but I was v...	Lindaoakford	4	393	Feb 16, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Happy Valentines day! (Preview) Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day. What are you all doing for V-day? My boys have a school party which I love being able to go to and get lots of cute pictures of them :) I bought my hubby a bag of his favorite licorice...how's that for romance ha! We don't do anything too special for V...	daisy31	7	369	Feb 15, 2012 by Michelle814
	Can we share some non-A type stuff? (Preview) I have been totally absorbed in A- and codependency-related stuff over the last few days, and it's definitely affecting my ability to stay serene. One of the things I really miss about having a "normal" life is just sharing random things about life. Since we've moved to a new area, I don't...	stephaniej	6	589	Feb 15, 2012 by stefani74
	frustration (Preview) Well for the second day in a row I can't access the room. So what techniques from our program will help me deal with this frustration? Is all this a test for us who are experiencing the same problem to really apply the program to this ? well for me I'm really not doing very well at it. lol but not funny. This ro...	sirchef	3	365	Feb 15, 2012 by likemyheart
	An exciting journey! (Preview) Well last night was our first Valentine's Day and it was our first night with all of our kids spending the night together with us. He's really working hard to be a better dad to his two and be a dad to mine as well. I am really proud of the effort he's making and he's very proud of his progress since becoming...	stefani74	1	309	Feb 15, 2012 by Michelle814
	spacious mind (Preview) Last weekend, my AH moved out. I had made the decision in early December, based on him breaking an important boundary, but we had agreed that we would keep living in the same house for 2 months, to give him time to figure out what he is going to do. So, on SAT, I helped him move all of his big stuff to a storag...	Iris lover of dogs	4	348	Feb 15, 2012 by never going back
	There are two things HP can't do (Preview) At least, this is true of my HP as I understand my HP to be. My HP can't stop loving me, and can't stop forgiving me.	stephaniej	6	371	Feb 15, 2012 by never going back
	It is not about me. It is not about me. It is not about me. (Preview) This is my mantra in this exact moment. A minor blowup on the phone, that I cut short by saying I love you, I'll talk to you later, good-bye. And now I'm fighting that co-dependent urge to call back, smooth things over, apologize for things I never did, just to make peace. But I know to do that would only...	stephaniej	7	451	Feb 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	you can take away the substance but the behavior remains. self-absorbed alcoholic alcoholic marriage getting married losing myself needs (Preview) Hi. This is my first post. I really don't want to make an outreach call but I don't want to isolate. I actually do want to isolate, stick my head in the sand and feel like a victim but I'm taking contrary action and typing away. Really feel so grateful for Al-Anon and the support I find here. I have a lot goin...	kel246	6	446	Feb 15, 2012 by surfgirl123
	Detachment Challenges When Finances are at Issue (Preview) I'm doing fine these days with emotional detachment with my AH, and being physically separated helps a lot, but the financial mess that my AH has created is not allowing me to stay on "my side of sidewalk." I can't just mind my own business and just work on myself when it comes to the IRS, our ho...	Green Eyes	7	540	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.